Kyle Kingsbury Podcast - #267 Tucker Max

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

Tucker Max is a name you may recognize. His best selling book, “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell” has most likely made you laugh. Also, as many of us strive to, he has evolved. I'm sure we would have been fast friends back in the day. As it is, we met as "adults" and he is now the man I love sitting down with, on or off mic. He gives us a layout of his evolution and trials/tribulations. He’ll be back if I have my way, so enjoy this one for now y'all. Love ya!  Connect with Tucker:   Website: www.tuckermax.com  Sponsors:   BiOptimizers Kapex This new product helps you utilize both dietary and stored fat for fuel and energy. Ideal for Keto lifestyle or otherwise. Head to kenergize.com/kingsbu and use “KINGSBU10” for 10% off any/all orders PaleoValley Some of the best and highest quality goodies I personally get into are available at paleovalley.com, punch in code “KYLE” at checkout and get 15% off everything! Organifi Go to organifi.com/kkp to get my favorite way to easily get the most potent blend of high vibration fruits, veggies and other goodies into your diet! Click that link and use code “KKP” at checkout for 20% off your order! Lucy Go to lucy.co and use codeword “KKP” at Checkout to get 20% off the best nicotine gum in the game, or check out their lozenge.   To Work With Kyle Kingsbury Podcast   Connect with Kyle:   Fit For Service Academy App: Fit For Service Academy  Instagram: @livingwiththekingsburys   Odysee: odysee.com/@KyleKingsburypod  Youtube: Kyle Kingbury Podcast  Kyles website: www.kingsbu.com  Zion Node: https://getzion.com/ > Enter PubKey  >PubKey: YXykqSCaSTZNMy2pZI2o6RNIN0YDtHgvarhy18dFOU25_asVcBSiu691v4zM6bkLDHtzQB2PJC4AJA7BF19HVWUi7fmQ   Like and subscribe to the podcast anywhere you can find podcasts. Leave a 5-star review and let me know what resonates or doesn’t.

All right, we're back again. I don't know why I always say we're back. I think it's because I don't, it doesn't feel like I do this that often. Even though, I mean, I know I miss a couple here and there with everything I'm juggling. But yeah, there was a point when I was podcasting, it was the only thing I was doing. And so it didn't feel like I was coming back. Just felt like this week's episode is. didn't feel like I was coming back. It just felt like this week's episode is. Now it feels like I'm coming back,

even though I'm always doing these intros after the fact. All right, enough jibber-jabber. I don't know why I always like self-critiquing with the thoughts running through my fucking head when I don't have someone sitting next to me. But yeah, this episode, no bullshit, was hands down one of my favorite podcasts I've ever done. Tucker Max is a guy who I've followed for a long time and recently come to know.

I want to say I've known him for a long time. I haven't. My sister had his book. I hope they serve beer in hell. I think when I was in college or she was in college and I might've been just out. And I remember visiting her and seeing it. And she's like, dude, you should totally read this book and you should totally write one. And I was like, I'm not going to fucking write a book. And she's like, no, seriously, like read this guy's stories and tell me that you aren't cut from the exact same cloth. And I remember reading it and I was like, well, I mean, outside of,

short of succeeding sexually, which Tucker does, we were pretty damn close, fairly close. And, you know, what's cool is we come from completely, I don't want to say completely different backgrounds. He dealt with a lot of shit growing up

in his own way, as have I in my own way, as have many of my listeners have in your own way. But he's built differently. Tucker didn't fight in the UFC. Instead, he had an academic scholarship to Duke for fucking law school. Brilliant, brilliant book smarts. Also, as streetwise as they get, which I really, really appreciate.

We dive into all this stuff on the podcast. We get his background. I was familiar with his backstory, I think, after he went on Aubrey's a while back and really had heard of him coming full circle with the introduction to MDMA through mutual friends and in, of course, a container, not just a party scene, but actually using it for ceremony, which MDMA can be as good, if not better than most plant medicines when it comes to healing traumatic things because of the fact that it's a little bit more curated in that you know it's going to open your heart, you know

it's going to make you feel good, and it still can stir up some of the old things that can bring things to the surface that previously one might not want to look at um this is of course why it's so efficacious in in treatment resistant ptsd folks with the military in particular and law enforcement and the fire department and the list goes on and on but that was his entry point and um as tucker mentions he felt like he had to work his way up to get to some of the bigger ladies like Miss Ayahuasca. And he dives into that. And that really brings us to the last two years where we've been. And I got to meet Tucker.

It's crazy. When we took Bear out of Waldorf and we brought them to a, a co-op, uh, in Texas, I really thought I was in the fucking twilight zone. I mean, I saw Mickey Willis. There's a right after pandemic had come out,

uh, Dell big tree, both, both these guys have been on my podcast more than once, or at least, at least Mickey's coming on a second time here. And, and,

and Dell most certainly should come back on a second time. Um, a number of other people that I don't need to name drop that won't want to remain nameless, but for people I watched on fucking TV as a kid, you know, movies, some of my favorite football movies, shit like that. And all these people in one place,

I'm like dropping my son off and I'm like, wait a minute, you're so-and-so, wait a minute, you're so-and-so. And I remember in Bear's class was Tucker's son and they hit it off. And I remember hanging out and volunteering some days and seeing this little kid in camo fatigues and shit like that. He's talking about hunting his first whitetail. I'm like, who's your dad? And he was like, my dad's Tucker. And I was like, no shit. So it's great. We don't dive into that stuff on the podcast. I thought I'd mention it here but following Tucker you know of course that school was in large part created by people who

were thinking in the same way there was no reason for Waldorf to follow CDC guidelines as a private school there was no reason to follow CDC guidelines based on the shit science they were proposing. And there was no reason to force upon kids an online education and charge full price, mind you, to kids where you had to sign a document that showed you were going to reduce any amount of screens. iPads, cell phones, TVs, fucking iMacs, you know, like no computer work until you're in high school. And some people think that, oh, my kid's going to have a late start then. Bullshit. We all agreed to that. And then all of a sudden these guys were going to not meet at all. And teacher was bringing by yarn and shit for arts and crafts door to door. I was like, hey,

that's real sweet, but I can fucking run to Marshall's. I don't need you to show up for 1600 a month and have my kid who's in kindergarten tune in online. It's absurd. So many reasons, we all decided to leave mainstream private school or mainstream public school and that school was born and it was great. Of course, now we homeschool or unschool based on the conversations that I've had

with a number of experts, including but not limited to Dr. Thomas Cowan, who's been on this podcast. Great episode if you want to listen to that. We really do dive into education on that podcast, which was not expected and fantastic as per usual. Something I love about podcasting is when you get all the shit you want and then something out of left field comes in and you're like,

oh, wow, I had no idea we were going to talk about that. This is amazing. And it shapes the way that I parent or changes the way that I raise my kids, change the way that I live my life. That's happened a number of times. But anywho, I was pleasantly surprised, not surprised by this podcast, but blown away by the synchronicities of Tucker's path and my path in the last two years and what we're doing now. He's got a farm. He's starting a school based on Steiner's education and biodynamic

farming and all sorts of cool. We're looking at a lot of the same experts in the field of farming and experts in the field of food sovereignty and many, many similarities. But this podcast was fantastic. I love Tucker's story. But this podcast was fantastic. I love Tucker's story. He's a great dude. He's an ally. He's a friend. He's somebody I continue to learn from.

He's somebody everyone here should be following because he pumps out a lot more content than I do. Um, I say that for better or worse, I could be pumping out more content and I choose not to. Um, but Tucker, Tucker is an absolute great follow. With that said, I am back on Twitter at Kingsboo. Still have my fan base there, which is lovely. My wife and I living with the Kingsburys finally got unblocked.

And the Fit for Service app is a great way to get in touch with me. I post all the shit there. I'm not worried about getting flagged there because it's our fucking app. So that's a great way to get the nitty gritty and to read some articles you may not want to read, but are super important, all that good stuff. But yeah, this is a great one. Support the show.

Send it to a friend or colleague or family member, somebody who wants to listen to this content and leave us a five-star rating with one or two ways the show has helped you out in life. Also support our sponsors because they make this show financially possible. I would not be able to do this show without these guys. They pay the bills. They allow me to travel. They allow me to fly guests in. And they allow me to carve this space out on my daily schedule, not just a podcast,

but to research the guests that I'm having on, to read their books, to take the time necessary to study who I'm going to sit across from. And that makes a big, big difference, as I'm sure you may attest to my podcasting style versus another's. That said, enough tooting my own horn, buy these supplements, buy these meat sticks, see what these companies are up to and follow them. And don't forget to use my little coupon code because that lets them know that I'm sending them traffic and keeps them supporting the show. And in that way, you support the show. So thank you very much for that. Our first sponsor today is an oldie but a goodie.

Bioptimizers has been one of the longest supporting sponsors of this podcast. And they make supplements that I take on a daily basis. My wife and I, our kids sometimes will take it. If we eat like shit, I'll hook them up with some enzymes and probiotics and Gluten Guardian and things like that. But this is a regular for me. And I don't always do a ketogenic diet. Many of you know that I've explained this in the past, even when I've had ketogenic

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I was saying they went in the end. We're talking sheepdog here. We've been talking and I just hit record because I don't like losing valuable airtime and talking. There's the clap for you. Yeah, we had the final drill

of the final day. They asked me to be with the coaches and they brought Manny in too who's an expert level competitive black belt from lodi california he's so good so good i was avoiding him so i was like joking about you ducking me i was like i'm ducking him and i didn't even i didn't even hesitate to say it like i want nothing to do with you but yeah when he invited me to be one of

the coaches i was like cool that means i don't have to go against any of you i don't have cardio for that right now and um yeah we went on the wall and Chantry, who's… I'm 240 right now thanks to the pastries I've been eating. He's an inch shorter than me. Seven-year SF. I think over 10-year SWAT team, APD. And the same weight. Yeah, he's just got his brown belt.

He's a fucking stud. He's a beast. He is a killer. Imagine me with Tim Kennedy's skill set. Yeah. Right? That's this guy, right? So he pulled me aside and he's a beast he's a he is a killer imagine imagine me with tim kennedy's skill set yeah right that's this guy right so he was he pulled me aside and he's like all right these this we gotta make him earn it's level two it's not level one protector it's level two right really put it to these guys you know don't knock them out obviously they don't have mouthpieces because they don't have mouthpieces it's mostly wrestling and i was like i should have these often and just

slap real easy and he's like no you'll be able to pummel with them and i was like all right and um he's like you know just make everyone work make them work fucking gas them i want to make someone quit from making them tired and i was like okay heard it's like they win in the end but but push them to the breaking point basically so that's what we did yes and it pushed me to my breaking point i was fucking spent dude yeah there's a couple of them uh manny's training partner uh the big dude quick shot really good shot yeah he came in and he was he took me down a couple of times and landed full shoulder in and i was like oh he's like sorry sorry and i'm like no that's okay it's real wrestling it's all good we're going live yeah matt was right though and he's like oh like you guys you know you were pitter-patting at first

because that and finally i got matt down And then Matt reversed me on the ground. And I'm like, this motherfucker. And then I threw an arm bar. And I'm like, all right, let's play. And then I had Steve next time. And I like, I did a full blast double on him. I'm like, all right, I'm not fucking around anymore. I went in.

Well, I think that should have been, I mean, with the exception of striking, it's live. Like, that should have been made apparent right from the jump. I like it. I did not quite understand. This is the final one. We want you to work hard. That's kind of saying it, but not saying it, you know? Like I knew the speed we were supposed to go.

Well, that might be part of it. I'm not sure it was conveyed to everybody, right? Yeah, let's see if they turn on. Yeah. They understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like how can we get this to drive it out of them? Because ultimately, those are some of the unteachable things

that have to be presented to people so they know, is this for me or is it not? Like what Tim said at the very end, you know, you pack every day, you do all this shit, you have a fucking tourniquet on you at all times, you do that or you don't, and you're not. But don't pretend that's what you're doing. Like, you either say I'm all in and you commit to it

and you train every day, or you say I'm not. It you commit to it and you train every day or you say I'm not, it's not for me. Right. And there's nothing wrong with either, but that to me made a lot of sense. There was a guy in there who, who I think Enzo, who's one of the instructors and he wants to train and get into MMA. And he was asking me like, what's the most important thing for me to do? Should I be doing more Muay Thai?

Should we be sparring more? I'm like, get used to getting punched because we've had you know division one champion wrestlers come through aka and you got kane you got dc you got me you got rockhold and i throw me in there loosely like these guys all became world champion right you're at that level dude i'm just saying i trained with world champs that was great these guys come right in and phenomenal wrestling pedigree better than dc was in college better Better than Kane was in college. And if they never got used to getting hit, they'd fight twice, lose twice,

and fucking hang it up. Yeah. So you got to get used to getting hit. They're not used to failing. Yeah, but I mean, it's really about, you don't have to enjoy it, but you got to be able to take it, roll it, can you deal with it, and then come back for more.

And if you don't make that happen early on, you're just jerking off. You're going in circles the whole time you could fucking train for 10 years but it doesn't matter because if shit it's the fan you're the same guy who doesn't like getting hit in the face that's a problem that's that's a liability that's an issue right getting hit in the face is a thing like it's not like i did anything you know i didn't even compete at mma but i've done tons of muay thai and training with that but like it's a very different it's like you don't really know how you're going to react until it happens like doesn't matter how tough you're exactly right no matter how tough you are how strong you are whatever it's one of those things where it's very much there's certain things in life that force you to go inside and look at who you are and getting punched in the face is one of

those things it really is yeah it's not the only test but it is a test where it's like okay i just got hit what am i gonna do now like do i back up do i go forward do i stay like it is it is the first time i ever got i remember i i was uh in la i lived in la for two years i i started training uh when legends first opened when randy Couture was there, and Boz Rutten, and Karl Parisian. This is back when UFC fighters couldn't afford,

like they didn't get paid, so they had to train. So like the classes were like, Karl Parisian would lead one, Mac Danzig, Dan Hardy, like Boz would actually lead classes. I remember one time I held a pad for him

in a demonstration. I thought he was going to break my leg. He wasn't even trying that hard. Dude, his kicks were like, oh my God. I don't think he has a soft gear. Dude, it's insane. But like, you know, it was just, you know, it was a normal class stuff.

It wasn't the competitive stuff. But like the first time a dude railed me hard, like it was like a sparring session. It was the first time it ever sparred. And I got hit. And it was like, there was definitely a part of me that's like, you should quit right now. You should stop.

And it was like, no, hold on. I don't want to be that dude. Like I'm not going to quit, right? But it does. It makes you really like, what the hell do I do now? And all the meditation, all the breath work, all the things you do to quiet the mind. That's great.

When the weather's perfect and everything's going good. And then you think about these applications. That was the first time I got in an ice bath, I realized the translation. If I can slow the fuck down and not freak out getting a 32 degree water, not 40, not 50, not 60, which all has benefit.

But if I can do that at 32 33 34 if i can get quiet mind it's different that that translates it translates to getting cut off in traffic it translates to your boss saying you did a shit job it translates to your wife saying you're not doing enough it translates to all those things it's like oh okay now i'm working this in an actual stressful situation where my body says it knows right i'm gonna die if I stay in here too long. Death is on the line if I stay here too long, right? Yeah. It's important stuff. It is. It is. Well, let's backtrack here. I usually start from the beginning and maybe there's like a Tarantino film or something else where you start with the ending and work your way back. We just had Sheepdog Level 2,

but talk about life growing up. Talk about your education. What got you into authoring and all the good stuff? All right. So, grew up, you know, my parents were iconic baby boomers. Like, you know the movie Blow? Yeah, yeah, yeah. About Georgia. Georgie, you would have been great at anything. Dude, my parents met at one of George Young's Coke parties in Manhattan Beach in the 60s.

Dope. No, seriously. My mom was a flight attendant for Payne. And my dad had grown up in L.A. And they lived in Manhattan Beach. There's like a scene in the 60s. No, seriously. My mom was a flight attendant for Pan Am. My dad had grown up in LA and they lived in Manhattan Beach. There's like a scene in the movie where it's like, oh, the flight attendant. Yeah, dude, like that was real. And so my parents were iconic baby boomers. And so, which meant like, they weren't horrible people, but they were horrible parents. Like they didn't give a shit about anyone but themselves. All the broken, narcissistic, whatever. So like I grew up very lonely as a kid, alone, lonely, neglected, but like middle-class kind of neglect. Like I had food, you know,

I had fine clothes. I went to school. It wasn't like being abandoned or anything, you know, literally abandoned. It was more emotionally abandoned. Right. And so like, um, which, you know, as a kid, I didn't really know any different. I'm like, oh, well, this is how it is. And I didn't really realize how hard that was and how traumatic that was. Like, cause you don't, there's not a narrative for it, especially now, finally, now people are starting to understand, oh, this is like really hard. Um, and so like, uh, but, but I always did well in school. You know, I'm smart. And then also here's the, I know so many smart entrepreneurs who are super successful who did terrible in school and they're very insecure about it. And I always tell them like,

listen, man, school's just a game. Like you figured out the game of business. School is a game too. They just convinced you it wasn't a game. They convinced you it's a the game of business. School is a game too. They just convinced you it wasn't a game. They convinced you it's a true test of ability and measurement. It's not. And I would, I just explained the school game to them. It really is just understanding what does the mind of the person in the front of the class think the answer is supposed to be. Your job in school is to figure that out, to get good grades. I mean, that's it. It's just understanding what they think the answer is not what the answer actually is. And I can't tell you how many people have been like, oh my God, you're totally right. I just figured that out almost intuitively early on. And so, yeah, I'm smart, but being smart is not the key to being good at

school. It's understanding that. And so I did really well, you know, like boarding schools, University of Chicago for undergrad, Duke for law school. Like I'm a white dude who got a, you know, an academic scholarship to a top 10 law school. So like, but it's just playing the game well is really all it was.

And so that got out of, you know, lonely childhood. I'm going to excel through academics. I was okay at sports, but not good enough to do it at any serious level. But academics I was good at. And but not good enough to do it at any serious level, but academics I was good at. And then did, you know, followed that path, kind of bought into that path because I was good at it, right? Even though half of me knew it was a bullshit game,

the other half is like, well, I'm getting a lot of praise and reward and whatever. So, and then I worked as a lawyer. You know, you summer between your second and third year of law school, you go to a firm and you like kind of, it's not, you play work for a while and they pay you. And then I got fired two and a half weeks into being a lawyer, right? Which is impossible. Like it's no, it doesn't happen to anybody. I did.

And it's because looking back on it now, it's very clear. I realized what a horrible soulless prison it was. But I didn't have either the emotional maturity or the courage to recognize it to myself and to do what I, deep down, I knew what I needed to do was stop going, like get out of this path. Right. And so what I did was I did what an immature young dude does. I'm, I acted out and forced them to kind of make the decision for me, which is why I have no resentment. Even then I was like, man, they're probably right to fire me. I was an unguided missile. Like you can't have people like I was at the time in a law firm. No. And so anyway, I got fired.

And then I went to work for my dad. My dad owns a bunch of restaurants in South Florida. And dude, the restaurant business, which is, that is the business where super smart, talented people who are like kind of broken or disturbed or can't fit in anywhere else where they go to excel. I got fired from the family business the restaurant business in six months you lasted longer though you extended the streak right i did maybe that's just because it was family they'd put up with more uh it's also restaurant business um yeah but like my but that wasn't for skill i didn't get fired for or for being too reckless

actually wasn't compared to most people in the restaurant business, I wasn't that reckless. It was more that like I came in, I was so dumb as a 25-year-old in terms of understanding life because most of my experience in my life was academics where it's like if you follow the rules, like their rules, you can break all kinds of fucking rules

as long as you're following the pretense of the school's rules, right? Which I was super good at. But I got into real life and I'm like, oh, I can do the same thing. Totally different. I really did not understand office politics. And so I got in my dad's business

and it was full of these psychophantic, ass-kissing ego massagers who were terrible at their job. And so that should have been the cue to me, oh, my dad hires them because that's what he wants. Instead, what I was like, well, my name's on the door.

Like the place is called Max's Grill. Like, of course, and I'm right. These people all suck. So of course my dad will back me. No. No, seriously. I was like, I didn't even told everybody. You guys all suck at your jobs.

I'm going to get all of you fired. There should be 50 of these restaurants, I was like, I didn't even told everybody. You guys all suck at your jobs. I'm going to get all of you fired. There should be 50 of these restaurants, not five. This is bullshit. Well, they understood my dad in office politics much better than I did. And they closed ranks and figured out a way to get my dad to fire me. I did enough to like I did enough to like, like one time there was a bachelorette party that came into the restaurant. And like, of course, I was 25 and young.

And so I spent a bunch of time talking to them. And one of the girls ended up blowing me in the bathroom. No, there's no problem in the restaurant. And the table was very happy. Like they didn't complain. They were stoked. Like we had a great time, right?

But, you know, their managers were like, oh, your son's out of control. And, and so, like,

I did enough of those things where my dad just, like, he wanted his universe. That's a great way to go out, though. Blowjob in the bathroom? Fuck yeah.

If I'm going down, it's going down this way. This is, I'll get fired now. But what's funny is, like, I was 25 or 26 when my dad fired me. And so like at that point, man, it's like, fuck, dude, I went to, I was so good at school. And the two things I trained for at school law and business, like I've been fired from quickly.

And like when you get fired by your dad from the family business, it was, it does create some, I wasn't good at soul searching at the time, but I was definitely like, what the fuck, right? And so during the, I lived in Florida, which now Florida is a lot better, but 20 years ago, Florida was really, it was old people and people who go to clubs and do drugs. And I didn't neither. This is long before I found psychedelic medicine. And I had never done any of that stuff before. I grew up in the 80s and I was definitely a child of

dare. And then also... This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions? Of course. I bought all the propaganda. I didn't realize it was propaganda at the time. But also, truly in my life growing up, the people who were losers did drugs. The actual losers also did drugs.

So it wasn't just propaganda. There was a life association for me. And the people I liked and knew and were cool didn't. And so I was like, oh, okay, of course. And so, you know, South Florida is like,

well, I'm not into old women, right? And I'm not into like, you know, like I'm not going to clubs and doing coke. So it was like, there was not like culturally, it's a total, it was a total wasteland. It still kind of is, but it's much better now. It was awful then. And so I hated everything about my life. And I'd write these emails to my friends about like, that were funny about how much, you know, my life sucked. And,

um, my buddy, after I got fired from my, the family business, like, look, dude, clearly law and business are not your thing, but these emails you're writing are the funniest thing ever. This is what you, you know, you should focus on this. And I'm like, what are you telling me to be a writer? What am I, a bitch? Like, get the fuck out of it. No, because I was a total, like, the thing, instead of going to law, if I hadn't gone to law school, I literally would have gone to work for Goldman Sachs or McKinsey. So I was, that was my mindset. I was totally that type of fucking asshole, right? And so like, I was like,

what bitch would be a writer? Not me. Writers for, you know, like these, you know, artsy fartsy douchebag, like no, fuck. And he's like, well,

what else are you going to do, dude? And so like, I was like, all right, fine. And I put like, I put my five, oh no, I took the five best emails. Because at the time, this is 2002.

If you're going to be a writer, the only way to do it is through the system, right? Like your Maxim magazine was huge at the time. And like, you know, there's a couple places your writing has to be published for you to be a cool writer. And so, which, you know, like millennials now, like, what are you talking about?

Like, you don't understand. It was different then. And so, which, you know, like millennials now, like, what are you talking about? Like, you don't understand. It was different then. And so I sent my stuff to every publisher and every agent I could, I could find. It was like, I had to go to like a physical library.

There was a physical book that had all their names and addresses. I printed stuff out and sent it to them because most of them weren't on email at the time. And I got 100% rejection. Like I sent out between 500 and a thousand

query letters and you know, 95%, there was no response. And then I got, you know, whatever, 20 or 30 or 50 form letter rejections. And then I actually had two, I think it was three or four personalized rejections. Like this is what you sent me is so horrible. Not only should you never be a writer, you should never write an email again. Like it's really, it was like, this is the worst. This is offensive. You're a horrible person. Like, I can't believe I share a planet with you.

It was a shit like that. And so, but okay, at the time, a lot of people were like, well, how did that not de-spirit you? And I'm like, okay, there's a reason why. One, because I was the same arrogant, ignorant idiot who gets fired from the family business. But also during that period, you know, I sent my emails to my friends from law school. It was like nine of us. They would forward them. They would send them to their friends.

I started getting my, you're about my age. You remember email forwards, like the early stage of the internet, right? I started getting my emails forwarded back to me. Like going viral in 2002 meant email forwards. And so like a friend from high school would send my email to me and be like, dude, you should read this. It's so funny. And I'm like, dude, scroll down, look at the header.

Remember my email header? I'm like, I wrote that. He's like, oh, well, no wonder. Like I thought it sounded like you. And so I knew objectively people were finding my stuff funny. So I'm like, okay, which you think about, this is kind of funny at the time.

I'm like, the people in New York who get paid to find new writers are all wrong. I'm right because there's this other piece of evidence. It turns out I was right. But it does take a bit of absurd arrogance to kind of do it, which I had at the time, thankfully. It was one of the benefits of youthful, stupid arrogance. And so I went on, after I got full rejection,

I'm like, well, fuck it, the internet exists. I'll just put it on the internet. And so I went, GeoCities, you remember GeoCities, right? It was like, you don't even remember. No, I don't know. Oh, dude, it's like old school. Basically, like to have a website, you had to learn to program HTML.

And so GeoCities like made it easy. So I put up my own site and then it blew up. Like I got linked on CollegeHumor, which was just starting off at the time. And they loved my stuff. So every time I put out a new story, it would link and it blew up. And then MTV did a thing on me

because I had like a dating application, like as a joke. And this is back when meeting people on the internet was super weird and creepy and nobody did it. And so of course I was, uh, because I was, you know, a loser at the time and had no job. And I'm like, all right, I'll meet girls on the internet. And it ended up really for the most part going super well. Um, uh, at least, you know, as well as it could be. And so then, uh, it kind of blew up. A bunch of publishers came back to me and were like, like some of the younger smart editors were like, oh yeah, like this dude's

like huge on the internet. Got a publishing deal, did finish my book. It came out in January of 06 and hit the New York Times bestseller list for two weeks only based on my email list, which it's so funny. Everyone now is like, oh, email list, email list. I had a massive email list by accident. Like when I put my site up, one of my techie nerd friends was like, oh, you should put an email capture on there. And I just threw it on. I didn't even know what it was for. And then when the book came out, I'm like,

wow, there's 100,000 people who want this. It's amazing. That's a pretty good starting place. I know, right? Exactly. And so I ended up selling like 10,000 books the first two weeks, which was no press. No one covered this book. No mainstream, nothing, which was like awesome.

And then it kind of fell off. And then, you know, the sales got down to about 800 a week, which is still pretty good. But then it started picking back up. And mainly through word of mouth. Two things, word of mouth and I had my best stories on my website for free. They still are. Like I've never, you know, it's like let people try it for free and they just send, everyone sends it, send it around to their friends, whatever. And this is like, this is pre MySpace. This is, well, I started off by 06, MySpace existed, but was still kind of

small. And so it just kind of took off, man. I became one of, by accident, like, I think I was the first blog to bestseller, the first blog to movie. Me and this one other girl did the Julie and Julia series, like where she cooked all Julia Child stuff. Her and I both were like right, you know, almost the week to week, we were doing the same thing. And it kind of took off.

And then, because I was one of those dudes who was saying the right thing at the right time that never would have made it mainstream. But I came up right as the internet kind of opened up. And I was willing, not even willing to go that path. I just had no other options. You know, like I kind of failed into what would end up becoming the goldmine of all goldmines. You know? And then…

You did for writing what Rogan did for podcasting. Like, right time, right place. Totally. Totally. 100%. And so, then that really took off. Books, you know, I've sold, I don't know, three, four million copies of just of those,

the Fratire books. The New York Times ended up doing a big piece about me and some other people. Basically, dudes who couldn't get published mainstream, but that were thriving on the internet. And was like me and this guy maddox who wrote that like he used to critique children's artwork and like make fun of it he was super famous for that there was a few other people um and uh they called it fratire which is hilarious because i wasn't in a fraternity and my stuff isn't satire it's like just my real stories

but it's the new york. So they can't get basic facts. Right. So anyway, so it took off. And so my beer and my first book, I hope to serve beer and hell spent like five years on the bestseller list. I know, dude, it was like a cultural phenomenon. It took off. And, um, and then there was a movie made about it, which didn't do that well, uh, for a lot of different reasons, mostly my own fault. And then, yeah, then like I got to the point where it was like, I was, you know, mid thirties and I'm like, man, I'm sick and tired of being an idiot 26 year old.

You know, like I'm 34, this isn't fun anymore. And it wasn't, a lot of people try to put the narrative on, oh on oh you reformed or apology you've apologized or reputed no no no don't get me wrong i was an idiot at the time in a lot of ways i did a lot of individual things that were totally fucked up and that like i shouldn't have done and it were wrong for various different reasons but it's not like no i was wrong no i wasn't that was who i was and that was my life and a lot of it was fucking fun and I'm super glad I did the vast majority of it um I mean it was a stage I had to go through and I went through it the the thing that sucked is just like if I hadn't gotten famous for writing about drinking and hooking up and partying I would have stopped somewhere about 30

to 32 33 but it became my job, right? And then it was like, oh, I got to like, that's the one thing like with pro fighters, I've never understood, not that I was ever good, even close to good enough to being a pro fighter,

but the thing that always seems shitty to me is like I went to train MMA or jujitsu because I like it. I don't think I would, if I had to do it as my job, it feels like, oh. It does change it.

Right. Yeah. Exactly. The business aspect. Right. Like that's a, I'd never had to make it as my job, it feels like, oh, it does change it. Right. Yeah, exactly. Right. Like, like that's a, uh, not, I'd never had to make the decision, but even just thinking about it in my mind, I was like, man, I'm happy. I don't have to make this my job. Right. And so when it writing, I loved, but when partying became my job, that, and then just being, there's a certain age I got to where I'm like, okay, I've hooked up with a hundred times more girls than I ever thought I needed to or wanted to.

And yeah, a lot of it's been fun, but like, oh, this is really like demoralizing now and objectifying to me and like soul sucking, right? Like it took me, some dudes can figure that out, one or two hookups. It took me, yeah, maybe a thousand or two thousand. It took me some dudes can figure that out one or two hookups it took me yeah maybe a thousand or two thousand it took me a lot man uh so like but i eventually figured it out um and i i eventually intuitively almost less consciously but more intuitively realized like this is all escapism you know now i can see it super clearly at the time i didn't quite i didn't admit that to myself i just knew I didn't like it anymore. It didn't feel good anymore.

And so I started, not, this wasn't like a sharp thing. There's a lot of stuff that, but basically I started therapy. And so, you know, being, you know, rich white dude, talk therapy, psychoanalysis, I went and found the best analyst I could. And four times a week for four years. And it was great. Like it really helped me understand my issues and understand all this sort of stuff. It's not great at feeling emotions, but like, I mean, I got very good at understanding what all this stuff was and why I

didn't want to do it and all that sort of stuff. And, um, and then met my wife, Veronica. And then, you know, we like got married kid and it was like, I stopped analysis cause it, you know, talk there because it just wasn't really working anymore. And then, um, long, like it was like, it took me, basically I had to start suffering so much that at almost every stage, it's like now I'm finally getting to the point where I don't need to suffer too much before I start to see there's an issue and fix it. But definitely at the time, I was at that. And then my son was born. And that was for all the obvious reasons, I just assumed I was going to have all daughters. And definitely my first kid would be a daughter, right?

Universe came back to you. It was a son. And what that brought up was all my issues with my dad. You know? And, you know, people always, I'm sure you got the same thing. People probably tell, oh, your kids are going to teach you so much.

And I remember when people would tell me that, I'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? The kids too. He can't read. I never taught my dad shit. Where do you get that from? He going to teach me, you idiot. I understand what they mean. What they mean is your child is a mirror that will reflect yourself onto yourself. And if you are open and willing, you are going to learn a shit. You're going to learn a shitload. They're not teaching on purpose or consciously, but they are teachers in a sense. I did not understand that until my son was born. And, you know, my wife's amazing.

And then her mom moved to Austin. And so his entire life was being doted over and loved on by two amazing women. That brought up so much in me not envy of him but like it was what i didn't have as a kid and so i was seeing it in front of me all the time and it was like dude that was and i didn't even i was angry and like i had a lot of emotions coming and i had no idea how to handle them and you know some of them spilled onto her and whatever. But like, you know, my wife's like, she's no joke. And she's like a Viking queen. Like she's six feet tall.

Like she's like, she's like, maybe she's not stronger than me, but pound for pound woman versus man scale. Like I'm 10%. She's in the higher percentage ranks for sure. Like she was a competitive crossfitter and all that. Right. And I'm like, just struggling to like, you know, keep you from killing me. Right. So like, she's a badass woman. I'm like just struggling to like, you know, keep you from killing me, right?

So like she's a badass woman. And so like she's like, no, no, no, you're not putting this on me, right? Like you got to, you need to go get help. And so I eventually found psychedelic medicine. A friend of mine had, you know, I've known Aubrey for years, right? And Aubrey, like bless his heart, like six, seven, eight years ago was like, you should be doing ayahuasca. And I'm like, Aubrey, dude. And I like, I love Aubrey for years, right? And Aubrey, like, bless his heart, like six, seven, eight years ago was like, you should be doing ayahuasca. And I'm like, Aubrey, dude.

And I like, I love, I joke with him about this. So like, I'm like, Aubrey, brother, I see your life. It's all, eight years ago, especially, I'm like, it's all fucked up, dude. Like, if you told me to breathe, I would stop. I don't want that. Right? Now, that's a whole separate issue.

And, you know, Aubrey's evolved immensely, incredibly over the last eight years, as have I. But like a lot of the people telling me to do psychedelics before I was ready, it was their own stuff. But then also like I couldn't hear it either. And a buddy of mine did MDMA therapy. It was about five years ago.

And I saw the change in him. And I was like, that's what I want. That is, that change. And so he set me up with his guide, this woman, Ann Other, who's like kind of famous in the field. She's in New York and I went up there and it was like, oh, fuck, as soon as like,

because I had never done drugs, dude, never. Like, which like a lot of people can't understand. How did you party so much and then you never did x at a club i'm like no i hated clubs i liked beer and women and if it was not beer or women or vodka i was not putting it in my body and um man the first time it hit me it was like i was like oh my god man like what part of it was like regret like why didn't i do this sooner this is amazing but then like i got past my own you know issues and i felt the deepest i realized i had never felt love in my life and this was with a wife kid and and i loved i i loved them with everything i had at the

point but what i realized was i had never actually felt love truly and i felt the love was so dude i was crying like uh to her like i felt like i was bursting you know and then which you know i'm sure you've had the same experiences this is pretty common for a lot of people and then that that was about four years ago now i've really gone on that journey of um uh psychedelic but it's not the psychedelics like a lot of people like oh it's a magic but it's not the psychedelics. Like a lot of people like, oh, it's a magic pill. It's not a fucking magic pill. If anything, it's the opposite of magic pill because it's like shit will often get harder before it gets easier. As it did for me, it got really hard, man. Like all, cause all of that grief and sadness and pain and neglect and all

of that, that I didn't feel as a kid that I pushed away because it was too much. You know, it all comes up. You know how it works. And so the last four years for me have been feeling that. Like I already thought my way through it. I knew what all my issues were. Like I knew my mom didn't want me. I knew that intellectually 10 years ago. I had not felt that grief, that true, deep, profound soul crushing grief. I had never felt it because it's too much. It's overwhelming. Really only in the last year and a half have I really, I think, gotten to the deepest levels of that and started to feel that. And so, yeah, like that, I'm not even really through it, I don't think, but I'm in it. And

I've gotten, I think, most of the life trauma process just means I felt it. And then so I'm able to let it go, right? You know, the event's still there. The memory is still there. It still sucks, but I'm no longer carrying the anchor of grief. I've cut the anchor, even though I know it happened. And it's always going to be sad, but it's not holding me back, I think, anymore. And so, yeah, then in the meantime, I started a company to help people write and publish books, Scribe. We did David Goggin's book, a bunch of others,

which I just exited from in December. And so now it's like, now I'm, it's so funny. Now I literally, all I do is I live on a place a lot like where you are, right? I have land except dripping. It's an hour West. Sheep, cattle, chickens, kids. We just started a school that, you know, like us and some other families for them. That's pretty much all I do now, man. Yeah, that's a big deal. I would love to be able to pull. Well, I do love my job. I've created pretty much,

and I've said this a million times on the podcast, but I have created a way to get paid to learn. That's what I do. To do what you like. Yeah, I do what I like. And it is self-directed. Nobody's telling me who to have on the podcast. Nobody's telling me what I need to teach

at Fit for Service events with Aubrey. Like you got full fucking reign, dude. Do you want two hours you got two hours right teach what you teach what you're working on um but since we started the farm it is it is like another full-time job it's like fuck man it would be really nice to just not have to deal with anything and focus right on this and i've created pockets for that but um i like juggling it and so it's really about how can I juggle all these things at the same time? We got a lot of help here, which definitely helps. But let's rewind a little bit to the last couple of years with shit hitting the fan. Just to state with what you said before we move on.

Like when I had Bear, I mean, I had already done ayahuasca. I thought I had worked through all the shit with my dad, all the shit with my mom. I was like, fucking, why am I feeling this now? And it fucked me up royal, dude, especially when he got to the age where I needed to discipline him. Because all the discipline shit that happened with me came fucking full circle. And I was like, oh my God, I could see why my dad did that.

I don't fucking like it. I don't want to think that. I was like, fuck. It was a total mind fuck. And yes, the plant medicines helped and they brought it to the surface. But at the same time, the work is the work. The work is in 3D.

It's fucking every day when your kid's not listening or when somebody's pissed off at you. How do I respond in each moment, right? Oh, yes. Yeah, big time. You know, I felt that love my first time on ayahuasca. I thought it was a thousand hits of MDMA. And I knew what a large dose of MDMA was.

At that point, I had had large doses of ecstasy. But that pure organic medicine flowing through me, I think that was the first stage right after I puked was like, feel this. It was like fucking divine love. Like, oh shit. Like it threw every cell in my body. And in a large degree, I had not experienced that before either you know um so you know and all these medicines in the right context have that ability to crack you open and

give you the thing that you've been missing so that's that's beautiful brother beautiful thank you for sharing that two years ago shit hit the fan right and a lot of people were hook line and sinker and there was a few you know people for whatever reason either the rebel archetype strong or um you know health in a different way you know i'm not surprised that many people in the same space as me in health and wellness a lot of speakers from paleo fx all took the same stance as i did they were like bullshit yeah they're like this is fucking stupid you're saying people can't go to the gym people can't go to the fucking beach?

What's wrong with the beach? You're outdoors. You're in sunshine. You need vitamin D3. No one's talking about it. Fauci's not talking about zinc and vitamin C and any of these things, right? So it was easier to sniff out for some. And then it's in large part for me and you and others,

it's been a collection of minds that are all thinking along the same lines. Like, all right, if this is kind of what's happening in the world, how do we respond to that? What are the necessary requirements? How should we be preparing ourselves, especially when you're a fucking parent? Yeah. What do I need to do to change now? So I do have a choice with what goes into my kid's body. So I do have a choice in what they're taught.

All that shit, right, started coming up. Walk us through that um you know walk us through your journey from 2020 onward and the development the developments why you have a farm why you have all your own school all that shit yeah so um all right so so uh march of 2020 i i will admit there was a short period where i bought it hook light and sink like i saw the videos from china people falling over i'm like like, oh fuck, this is like, this is like the movie Outbreak. Like I actually for a while,

like believed not because I really never believed the government because like, why would you ever? They've never told the truth about anything unless it's beneficial to them. But I believed like what I saw and the way it developed felt organic and honest at the very beginning to me.

And so I was like, okay, cool. And no one knew too. And so for a short period, I was definitely like, oh, this looks bad. We should be careful. We should whatever. And then by April, I'm like, hold on. Something's off here. We didn't really know enough to know about COVID, but like the reaction seems super weird. This is not the way a government or organizations react to it. And then by May, I was like, oh, this is bullshit. And then like we were back in doing jujitsu, like, you know, like I don't want to throw anyone under the bus,

but many of us were more than happy to just go in and roll. And not everyone. They never shut my kid's school down. He stayed in every fucking day through it. Even when I, too, first couple weeks, I was like, fuck, man, they closed Texas State Park. We were camping. And they sent us home early with a refund. And I was like, this has got to be real.

Yeah. But yeah, a couple weeks later, it was like, no, no, no, no. Something's not adding up. Something's weird. Yeah, we were sending him to Jiu-Jitsu. No kids got fucking sick. No not adding up. Something's weird. Yeah. We were sending him to Jiu Jitsu. No kids got fucking sick. No parents got sick.

Of course not. And so anyway, so, and then, you know, then obviously George Floyd thing hits in the summer. And like, I mean,

I got why there were riots. I get it, man. That was such a heartbreaking video to watch. But then like governmental agencies who were like, literally the day before you need to stay in your house and you know, you're killing granny if you leave your house. Like, oh no, it's different if 20,000 people are downtown LA, this is a bigger public health emergency. I'm like, okay, this, my wife, my, that was when we really started thinking about, okay, shit sideways, you know, what, where do we go? What do we do?

Cause we lived in Austin at that point, like in Barton Creek, which is that's Austin. And so, uh, like, what do we do? And so I, I, and disaster and all that was pretty amateurish at the time. And so it was like, oh, well, go find a bug out place or whatever. So we knew we'd always wanted a house in the mountains, like a summer house, because we live in Texas. It's fucking Africa hot in the summer. It's horrible. So we wanted like a place to go. And so she's from Tennessee, from the Eastern Tennessee, the mountains. And so we're

like, all right, let's go check that place out. And we found this amazing mountain house. It's beautiful. Bought that in July of 2020. And then, so then it's like, okay, like, you know, that'll be our bug out place. Right. And so then January 6th happens of 2021. And that was when I really woke up. And most people, it's not most people, but a lot of the people who believe what they're told, they're like, oh yeah, that was the day democracy died. I'm like, it might've, but for the opposite reason of what most people think.

Because I was at our house in the mountains at the time, watching what was happening on TV, like watching the live videos, right? And then like, it was, I know media. I don't know why this event crystallized it for me. I know, because I'd been in media for decades. I know how media completely lies about everything. Like I've seen major mainstream publications with long in-depth articles about me that had no relationship to the truth. They weren't even wrong. It's like, who are they writing about?

So I knew all that. I know how fucked up media is. I worked in Hollywood. I made movies. I understand all of it. But for whatever reason, I just hadn't put all the pieces together. I mean, I knew MKU know, MKUltra. I know how fucked up government is.

I under, all of that, right? But man, watching basically a bunch of drunken buffoons walking, invited into the Capitol, doors open, like those massive doors in the fucking Capitol. You don't just push those things open, dude. Those are like nuclear blast doors. Right, come on, man. Stop it.

I saw it. I saw it. And then to watch the media craft a narrative that is so… It wasn't even the opposite. It was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like I had never seen… I don't think I'd ever really fully seen a false flag in front of my face develop in real time in a way that like where i was too invested and i was like not that i'm like

a trump person like but like i'm not also i don't have trump derangement syndrome either right like i can just see him for who he is and so i was like, I don't know what it was, but that was the moment I realized that the Republic had fallen. I don't think it fell. I don't know when it fell. It may have been Patriot Act. It may have been, who knows? You can make a lot of good cases for when it was, but that was the moment that it sunk in, that it was gone. And that we lived in a total charade, charade, however you want to pronounce it. And that everyone, all the, to the extent that there were ever adults in charge, they were gone, right? They were dead and gone. And it was now sociopathic clowns and that they had, that the institutions were all corrupt. And that's when I was like, oh, fuck. Now, that was

January 6th, 2021. January 20th, 2021 was the first time I had ever done ayahuasca. I was, now I came to ayahuasca very late, right? My mentors in plant medicine were very much like, knew me really well, knew medicine well. And they kind of led me on a you know like a like a you know you teach a kid to swim in very shallow water then a little deeper and a little deeper and i didn't get to the deep end of the end some people start in the deep end i'm like no man i'm not doing that shit right so i took the very floaties right dude i went mdma first then a little bit of mushrooms then bigger mushrooms then lsd with mdma like like, I did the very stair step approach and I'm glad I did that. Like, I think if I had started in the deep end, it would not have been a good situation

for me. Some people can handle that and it works well. It did not for me. So I got to ayahuasca about two and a half years into my plant medicine journey and with a great, amazing guide. Um, and, uh, just me and the guy, like, I don't, I'm not a fan of, I get why other people do it, but it's not for me. And, and that was when it, like, I had a pretty simple message for me. Like, what the fuck are you waiting for? You and your wife know you want to live on land. You know, you want all this stuff for your kids. You know what you want. Why are you sitting like in this house and also with a thumb up your ass basically. And I was like, bitch, you're right. You're right.

I have nothing to say. I got home and I was like, sweetie, what are we like, I'm like, what are we waiting for? And she's like, I don't know. And I'm like, let's just go buy a ranch and let's go do everything that we say we want to do. And she's like, okay. And so house was sold. I got so lucky, man. We sold the house at the peak in Austin. So we got a, I got a grip.

Smoking deal. I bought my house in 2019 in November and it's the peak in Austin. So we got a, I got a grip for the house. Smoking deal. Smoking. Now. I bought my house in 2019 in November and it's almost doubled in price. And a lot of the, and it's, it's, you know,

it's a suburb. It's a new development, Southeast. It's not a million dollar property, but it doubled. It was damn near doubled, right? In two years.

And then the houses that were a million, they did double or more, right? They did. They did very, very well. Mine went up two and a half X. Damn.

Yeah, in four years, right? Which was great. But then I went out to Dripping buy and it's like oh you're gonna get fucked out here so their stuff went up too right yeah so uh anyway so we bought a 45 acres in dripping and then i got very serious about like okay if if everything i think is true isn't true. I need to re-look at society, at governments, at force, at authoritative structures from a whole new frame, right? And like, it's like, I felt like I already knew it, but I didn't really emotionally know. It's sort of like I was with therapy. Like I intellectually

got it, but I didn't feel into it until, same thing. Like I intellectually understood, yeah, the CIA is horrible and they only care about themselves and blah but like it didn't really affect my life in 2019 like in 2019 I owned guns like I had a shotgun and a hunting rifle and I think I had a pistol I didn't carry it anywhere I mean like I didn't do any training like I in 2019 I'm like look that stuff's cool like if you want to go train with Tim Kennedy like I was rolling with him at the time jiu-jitsu like he's a great dude cool go train but for me that's fucking larping like stop it by 2020 especially 2021 i'm like oh shit this isn't larping anymore like i may actually it is not unthinkable the chances in my mind were oh one percent before now they're 10 that i'm gonna have

to pull out a gun and use it on someone to protect myself and my family. Okay. I got to get serious. And so I did a deep dive into all aspects of preparation, everything, violence, growing permaculture, everything. And it was like a whole world opened up. Right. And I realized, okay, well, most of the old school preppers are mostly clowns because the old school preppers are mostly clowns. Because the old school preppers come from the mentality of like nuclear war, like a bomb's going to hit. And so how do I live in a bunker for as long as possible until I die was essential.

I'm being a little bit unfair, but that's basically how, and I'm like, okay, that doesn't work at all. I don't like that at all. So the position I eventually came to was how do I increase my sovereignty, right? Meaning like, how do I create a life where I get to make all the decisions about myself and my family as opposed to being told what to do by some other figure who is using at some level violence to back them, right? Doesn't necessarily mean government.

It can mean a lot of other sort of things, right? And so it was like, oh, it's really simple. Once you actually boil it down to that, do I own my water supply? Which I do. Being on land in Texas, rainwater and well, we're good. Do I own my power supply? All right, we're on the grid, but also solar and generator backups, right? Do I own my food supply? Now right. We're on the grid, but also solar and generator backups, right? Do I own my

food supply? Now I definitely do. I probably have at least two years of food for the whole family on the hoof, maybe three years. We got two cows, a flock of sheep, a bunch of chickens, and we're putting more on. So we're two to three years on the hoof, plus not counting what's, you know, cold storage or, you know, dry storage. So we're probably a good three years out. It's like, oh, okay. Preparation really means, and then now, you know, we're putting in permaculture. We're about a year behind you guys or a year and a half behind you guys, but we're going to, I was growing stuff and really create an essentially an abundant universe onto itself. It doesn't mean being off the grid. That's foolish. No one's off the grid in the world anymore, really. And it doesn't mean divorcing from community.

In fact, that was part of why we picked Dripping is because there was already a great community there and we knew we could bring a lot to it. And then a bunch of other people came out there. And so preparation for us is how do we make ourselves sovereign and how do we join or help create a community full of sovereign individuals, but that are together to help, to trade,

to support, whatever, to increase our group sovereignty, right? That was really the key for me. And so that's now where I am, is I'm focused all my effort on that. The next step for me is, I think, not I think, it is, like doing a lot of like what you're doing, you and Aubrey are doing is like, okay, you guys are getting your shit together. Now you're telling other people what you're doing so they can either join you or do their own

version of it, right? Totally on board. Like that is the more of, in my opinion, the more people that waking up is not enough. Like there are a lot of people awake. What really matters is what are you doing, right? Being awake to a problem that you just bitch about and moan about and fret about and get angry about, but don't do anything about. I'm not sure how useful that is. I guess it's better than being asleep. Although I debatable, you know, because if you're asleep,

if you're not going to do anything, you might as well just be asleep and pretend everything's great. Like why be anxious, right? Yeah, exactly. If you're going to wake up, use that anxiety, use that emotion and turn it into action, right? And so that's kind of where I am now is like how do we get… Because I don't…

So many people like to talk about what's going to happen. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't to talk about what's going to happen. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't think anyone knows what's going to happen. You can focus on, you know, the World Economic Forum, or you can focus on, I don't know, the Rothschilds or whatever. I don't know. I have no, I mean, there's an, I know enough. I know enough to know that there are at least a few,

if not lots of different groups that want to, in the broadest sense, take my shit or tell me what to do. I'm not cool with that. And the way for me to insulate myself from that is to be as sovereign as possible. I don't think I really need to spend a ton of time worrying, is it Klaus Schwab or is it this other shadowy figure? I don't know. Or is it this banker? I don't know, man. And like every second I spend worrying about the details of Klaus Schwab's wardrobe is a minute that I'm not spending planting shit that I can eat. I know enough to know I got to get this shit done. And that's really it. That's I think all I really need to know. Like I know I'm in a fight, right? I don't think right now I need to worry who the person in Europe is that's the biggest threat to me.

Because it's not, there might come a time, if the person's on my land, I need to know who they are, right? I need to know who to shoot. We're not at that stage yet, thank God. And hopefully we don't get there. But that's, I didn't really fully wake up in the sense that you're using that word and this shit gets tossed all around and including from woke culture. But waking up to the world as it is in my eyes and your eyes and many others until maybe

like midway through 2020. And I had listened to Ike, you know, for his fourth one on Brian Rose. He was talking about smart cities and cameras being everywhere. And I remember when we bought our house, there's a camera on every telephone pole or every, every light and the entire complex. And like, this is how the new builds go. And I was like, awesome, man, 24 seven surveillance, my wife and kid will be safe when I travel, you know? And I was like, holy shit. After listening, I was like, I'm we're in there, right? We're in the smart city already, right? And I didn't quite connect the dots of like, man, how long is it going to take?

I was thinking, still thinking along the lines of when is the new world order put in place? When is the one world government put in place? Yeah, exactly. And then I was like, what if, what if we're just seeing the first implementations of something that was installed fucking decades ago. And that was a motherfucking tough pill to swallow. That was really tough. And I was depressed. I had to grieve the society I thought we lived in.

I had to grieve the death of that society. I had to let go of my illusions, feelings of stupidity, like how stupid it I played in that, you know, but the blinders on of believing. No, no, no, no. The world's better than that. No, no, no. People wouldn't do that. No, no, no. Everyone's good. How many times have you argued for some step that by itself seemed fine, but was part of the plan you hadn't seen before? Absolutely. Absolutely. And that took a lot, but the thing that, that helped me was shifting into the doing right. It is the planting of seeds. It is the raising of animals. It is like, fuck, we, we raised 40 chickens in our fucking house, in our living room in Austin,

just so they would know the kids because we don't live on the farm yet. Right. And I want them to know my kids. I want to be people friendly. I want them to know my dog and they can peck our little 18 pound Chihuahua Shih Tzu right on the face and he'll lay down for them. Like he, that's the kind of dog I want around them. Right.

And then we have a killer dog for fucking killer shit. But for around the chickens, yeah, that's what I want you to do, buddy. I don't want you to bite them. And so, you know, just, but, but having that, that step of what do I do now? There's shit right in front of you. You know, Paul Selig, one of my say what you want is a channeler. I think the guy writes a book in 18 days and it's fucking coherent. He knows what the fuck he's doing. Something's coming through, whether it's some guardian angel or it's just his high self, something comes through him and he puts it and it makes sense. One of the things he said was this fable of a big guy like Paul Bunyan driving his truck and he's asking God, what do I do? Why am I here? Why am I here?

You heard this? No. Okay. So he's saying that every fucking day he's in his truck. What am I doing? Why am I here? Why am I here? And this big, he comes up with this big fucking tree that's fallen in the night and it's blocking the road and he gets out of the truck and he's just big enough that he can move this thing by himself. He gets it off the side of the road. He gets back in his truck. Why am I here? Why am I here?

Not realizing he's here for the work that's right in front of him. It's the work of the day and it's nothing more than that. Right. And like that, that really hit home because when I started applying that, like, shit, I got enough time. I got help, right? I can't farm full time

because everything else I'm doing, but I got help for that. I got people that want to be a part of this. And that extends community. I can go to fucking sheepdog whenever I want. Let's actually do that. I was the same thing, man. I was training with Tim.

I remember when I got to Onnit in 2017. Yeah, he took me shooting with Jeff Gonzalez, lead instructor at the range. I was like, this is fucking awesome. And I went home that day and I was like, yeah, that was really cool. No intentions of fucking going back and making that like a weekly practice or buying a membership. No intentions of that. And yeah, 2020 came along and I was like, oh, whoops. This is a motherfucking requirement. This is a gaping hole in my ability to protect my family because I remember when I was young,

my dad said, Hulk Hogan can't stop a bullet. Arnold Schwarzenegger can't stop a bullet. You know what I'm saying? Can't arm bar a bullet. Yeah, exactly. It's a different level, right? We're talking projectiles now. We're talking weaponry.

And really diving into that as one piece of the puzzle has allowed me to sleep better at night. Having my wife go to that allows me to sleep better tonight. There's so many of those things that allow me to push whatever future awaits to the side. And I say, right now, I can do this, and it's awesome. And if none of that shit ever comes to fruition, am I going to be upset that I started a fucking organic biodynamic farm? Absolutely fruition, am I going to be upset that I started a fucking organic biodynamic farm? Absolutely not. Am I going to be upset that I helped heal the soil and fucking, you know, for all of climate change bullshit,

like actually heal deers? Like, fuck yeah, man. I want to do that no matter what happens. I wrote that in the piece I wrote about Do More Optimism. It's on talkermax.com. At the end, I'm like, listen, I could totally, it is entirely possible. I don't think it's plausible, but it is possible that I am seeing shit wrong. And that, you know, Klaus Schwab is just some fat European clown and all the control stuff and all this and that isn't, yeah, it's not really happening the way I think it is and things are going to be fine and go back to normal. That's possible. But even if that's true, at the end of this, I am going to be

safer, happier, healthier, living on a ranch with my kids, closer to me, spending more time with them. I win anyway. If what I'm seeing is right and some form of chaos, disruption, whatever apocalypse is coming, I'm going to be ready and better prepared than most. And if it doesn't, okay, cool. I posted my EDC one time on Twitter and someone's like,

aren't you going to feel stupid if you carry that for 40 years and nothing happens? I'm like, that's the best case scenario. That's what I want. You think I want to kill somebody? I pray to God I will never scenario. That's what I want. You think I want to kill somebody? I pray to God I will never shoot a human. Ever.

You think I want to pull this knife and put it in someone's neck? No, that's fucking, I've had to kill a sheep on our land. One of the dogs got in the sheep pen and killed it. And then, you know, we gave it away. But like, I had to kill a fucking sheep. And that was, that was horrifying, dude.

Like, I don't fucking kill in a person. No, dude, I don't want to. It's dude I don't want to it's I know it just it cracks me up that people can't see it's like okay the worst case scenario is to me that I'm right that's not the best the best case scenario is I'm wrong but my our life is still a hundred times better I think so many people are and I I say this because I used to be, even though I thought I wasn't stuck in the matrix in the broadest sense, I was. I was living in a McMansion and I lived like 200 yards away from Aubrey. I lived in the one right over, right? Living in a McMansion, living a McLife, even though I was way healthier and did all the best version of that though I was, you know, I weighed healthier and did all the sort of the best

version of that, I was still in that system. Like I did not really own anything. I did not really control anything. I was not responsible for my own safety, whether it was physical safety, food safety, water safety, none of it. Now it's like, okay, I'm not a hundred percent for all of it, but I'm like somewhere between 50 and 90% for all of it. Right. Which totally fundamentally changes not just my orientation to life, but my children's now. Like my eight-year-old is playing with your seven-year-old. They're seven, right? You're seven-year-old and he has his little custom little knife on his, and it's like, it's so funny. Some people. Right. You're a seven-year-old, and he has his little custom little knife on his desk. And it's like, it's so funny. Some people are like, why does an eight-year-old have a knife?

I'm like, because he's responsible. Because he knows how to use it. And where we live, he carries it for a reason. Right? But he'll, like, he knows. It's a, I would rather have a hard life that is mine than an easy life that is not. That's what it boils down to for me yeah yeah i absolutely fucking love that well brother we're right at an hour i can do this again with you and

again with you and i'd rather do that than try to stretch it three hours and you got i think a podcast are you going on tim's today what's the name of his podcast he just started uh it's like the violence about violence about violence yeah fucking brilliant yeah i was listening to some clips i can't he's good at violence yeah he is? About violence. Fucking brilliant. Yeah, I was listening to some clips. I can't wait. He's good at violence. Yeah, he is very good at violence. He's quite good. His instructors have, what is it? Violence advisor?

Violence advisor, yeah. Stitching to the side of the 511 shirt. I know. Like, fuck, yes. Absolutely. Well, brother, I really enjoyed getting to spend time with you this weekend. Getting our shooting in, our grappling in, striking, all that fun shit. I'm super pumped to show you what we got going on here. And I really am excited that, you know, it's not,

there is no island oasis that exists in this scenario. It's all these lights getting turned on and then connecting to each other to enhance the community, to enhance sovereignty that builds Voltron and becomes unfuckwithable. And at that point, you can't say our plan works. It's not going to work, right? And if none of that ever happens, then fucking, yeah, we're living our best life no matter what. So thank you going to work. Right. And if then that ever happens,

then fucking yeah, we're living our best life no matter what. So thank you for coming on. Where can people find you online? Tucker max.com. Awesome brother. Thank you.