Kyle Kingsbury Podcast - #446 Bodybuilding, Wealth Creation, Trading & Spirit w/ Patty Cakes

Episode Date: February 24, 2026

Kyle and Patty go deep on performance-enhancing drugs, bodybuilding prep mistakes, and how Patty eventually won his class after taking diet and training seriously—followed by a major spiritual turning point. Patty describes a series of experiences that led him to identify God’s guidance, including a night of intrusive “devil” thoughts stopped by invoking Jesus, a timely conversation with a spiritually-minded gym acquaintance, and a vivid dream urging repentance and change. Shortly after, a chain of events at the gym led him to a trader who taught him a day trading strategy, resulting in Patty making $290,000 the next month and shifting his identity from bodybuilding to trading. They also discuss staying on TRT, fertility concerns, quality-of-life improvements off heavier cycles, and broader themes like money as a “pissing contest” versus meaning, building a family compound for his parents, raising children with an abundance mindset and homeschooling, and Kyle’s perspectives on plant medicine, integration, and safer paths like the upcoming darkness retreat in June with Dr. Nathan Riley and led by Edmond Knighton.   Connect with Patty here: Instagram   From Kyle: The Community is coming! Click here to learn more   Our Sponsors: Let’s level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to Lucy.co/KKP and use promo code (KKP) to get 20% off your first order. Lucy offers FREE SHIPPING and has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind.   Connect with Kyle: I'm back on Instagram, come say hey @kylekingsbu Twitter: @kingsbu Our Farm Initiative: @gardenersofeden.earth Odysee: odysee.com/@KyleKingsburypod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Kyle-Kingsbury Kyle's Website: www.kingsbu.com - Gardeners of Eden site If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe & leave a 5-star review with your thoughts!

Welcome back to the podcast. Today's guest is my new friend Patty Cakes. Patty was a, I believe, professional bodybuilder for a while, turned day trader who's been incredibly successful and has had some pretty fascinating stories on his relationship with the one we call God, the great spirit. And really cool stuff. He's also a good friend and an understudy of Edmund Knighton who's been on the podcast who is awesome.

And now I'd like to say a regular on the show. I had a blast with Patty. We will have a follow-up conversation. after our darkness retreat, we're going to a darkness retreat in June with Dr. Nathan Riley, the holistic O B-GYN has been on this podcast a bunch, and it'll be led by Edmund Night. So I'm super stoked for that. Super stoked for what's to come. Patty, welcome to the podcast.

Thank you, man. The last time you were on a podcast was four years ago and that you're a different person. I was like, I think we'd all change in four years. And I was thinking, even just the world was so different in 2021 with like the wake of COVID, you know, and so many people waiting for the shot to save the day. and make the world go back to normal and then it didn't go back to normal. Nothing happened.

Yeah, exactly. And they're like, oh, it doesn't matter how many shots you get. We're still going to have lockdowns and still do all this shit and still make kids do the online education. And then finally it breaks when states like Texas and Florida,

we're like, no, we're opening up everything. Yep, yep. That's the main reason why I didn't actually finish college had nine credit hours left on a finance degree. And I had to do online school with a vaccine. And obviously I was like,

fuck that, right? Like, online school. online school they wouldn't let you. That's the pressure. Yes. Yes. So I said, told my parents that I'm going to drop. I was making money online. Luckily through TikTok, actually. So I was like doing fitness back then. And I think I was making like maybe $900 a month. But back then I was living in like a section of housing basically. So I was paying a little under $400 a month in rent. So I could afford rent. I could afford food. I could still work out. And I said, okay, I'm not going to school. And that changed everything for me. That's when I really started to wake up. I always knew as a sham, dude. I always did.

It was a total sham. It was a sham. There's no doubt. Let's rewind the clock, though. I want to know, because you've kind of, you've done a lot of interesting things. I want to know, and you grew up, you know, according to yourself, kind of in the middle of nowhere, New Mexico. Talk about life growing up.

Talk about your interests and, you know, take us up. Man, so growing up, my parents were awesome, right? My dad, he, at some point, he had a little bit of a drinking problem, but he really, really, like, stepped up when I was a sophomore in high school. And my interest as a kid, I wasn't really conscious. Like, as crazy as sounds, I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I don't know if that's because I swear it's just I wasn't conscious. And I remember when I woke up, when I, you know, everything snapped was I got really into politics when I was in 2017.

Actually, the year Trump ran, funny enough. And that's when I became very aware of myself. And then I started to look at my parents as people, not just my parents. We got a really strong bond And I saw my mom's Child of Traumas like through her Like I could see her as like a young girl And then I saw it in myself

And then I saw my dad's childhood traumas In myself and that's when I went Whoa, whoa, whoa My mom wants everyone to like her She's a very, very amazing beautiful woman Always showing love But she allows people to step all over her My dad on the other hand

He's fearful people won't like him So he over over like presents himself overly like puts himself and wants people to really enjoy him because you know his family isn't really the best to him and he's at his core dude he's a fucking sweetheart my dad is so sweet but he has that that rough exterior and as you get to know him you start realizing wow like he had he still has so much potential but my dad as a man could have taken over our entire state his his aura his presence he was just never really guided in my in my opinion I don't think he was truly guided as he should have been.

And I saw all that in me. And I vowed to myself that I would change things. And then I went to college. Did the typical bullshit, right? Went to college. I did the quote-unquote, like what you're supposed to do in the system. And I was very unhappy with myself for two or three years, man. Like, shit, dude.

I remember there was times in college when I would talk to myself in the mirror. would tell myself, like, dude, you're not supposed to be in school. Like, you're supposed to be exploring the world. You're supposed to be becoming someone, not just finance, bro. Well, you said you had a, you know, you played football growing up, and then you actually got a full ride to do cheer, right? Which is like super interesting. Yeah.

Not the normal path for a lot of people. And so we're just doing audio here, but you're incredibly well built. We'll talk about bodybuilding in a second. A lot of male cheerleaders are because you're the fucking support. And, you know, thinking about one of the main purposes of college. for a guy like me is to find some ladies to be able to explore the world that way, right? And what an interesting, I mean, actually I've been with a couple of cheerleaders at Arizona State and the Cardinals on Phoenix and like, awesome, awesome times.

Yeah, amazing. I would be thinking about it just from that perspective. Obviously, that's a very shallow perspective, right? But it's right in line for 18, 19, 20 years old. Exactly. I was going to say, yeah, 19. So why did you, you had like a feeling of wanting more for yourself even at that age? You weren't content with just going through it.

No, no. I did the typical, like, you know, I was trying to have sex with a ton of girls at once. Like, yeah, I did the typical, like, dude thing because I was trying to validate myself. And I know that. Like, even as I was doing it, I was doing it from a lens of I want other men to respect me. And that's why I was, you know, I guess, in better terms, like, like, pounding fucking push, you know, like, just what I was doing. But in all reality, yeah, deep down, I was like, no, I need to do more with what I'm

I'm going to be, like who I am. And it doesn't feel like it ever came from me. Does that make sense? Yeah, and that's interesting too, because it doesn't seem like, in how you describe your parents, it doesn't seem like they were legacy builders, but you could see their potential in building legacy. Yes. And then still want it for yourself, even though it wasn't patterned.

Like for me, it was always easy to see, like, a kid who was raised by Ivy League parents that goes to Ivy League school and, like, fulfills all the things, right? but like he knew he was going to do it from fucking day. Well, there was no doubt that which colleges he would go to, what kind of grades he would get and what kind of job he would have. You know, a couple of my clients are that way. And they were from the jump, the best at doing those things. And the best when they get to college and then the best afterwards.

So I respect that. I'll be like, oh, you're fucking Silver Spoon. It's like these guys had to show up. None of that shit was handed to him. They had to show up. It still had to work their ass off. And they did. And that's why you see the success.

No one's handed you. You might be, you know, handed a grade because you. that somebody liked your dad, but not across the board and certainly not, you know, the job and certainly not, you know, how well you perform in that job afterwards. So I think, you know, a lot of those guys have proven themselves to me. And I respect that. I also see like the, a guy who's born in wealth that knows wealth, knows and expects himself to be wealthy. Like you think like the law of attraction and things like that. That's all they've lived. There's no poor programming in them. They know money flows easily and effortless to them. And they believe

that wholeheartedly and it does right and those guys you know like trump can go bankrupt 100 times they're still going to get the money back they're always going to be back on top you know a couple close friends that are just like that shake it at the fan and i guarantee you a year later they'd be right back on top because they have that installed in them dude the the flow of currency is something that i've been obsessing over the past six months um dude this story is this story is insane you're this sounds completely it's from ether um so i was bodybuilding i had been taking steroids for three years and I was purely obsessed. Did you start, let's talk about steroids, because we haven't had a lot of conversations about steroids. I've talked about taking TRT and the benefits,

you know, especially for older men, for, you know, armed forces, people that have been blown up. Like, it really affects your own natural ability. If you've been hitting the head really hard, NHL players, football players, fighters, it's really hard to top off testosterone naturally. When I went to school at Arizona State, I was hitting the gas like Latimer from the program, right? I wanted to get as big as I possibly could. I'm naturally 220. I'm like, let me see, can I get to 270? Right? I was 268. I couldn't get above 268. But juice to the gills, all to attempt to play pro football, really to play foot in college first and then try to make it pro. But like, what drew you down that path? Was it? Because I've had Mark and Chris Bell on the podcast

and bigger, have you seen bigger, stronger, faster? I have. Yeah, yeah. Like that, that is the quintessential movie to capture a timeline for young men growing up where all you, all you, see is Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Dam, Sylvester Stallone, Dolf Lundgren, fucking Apollo Creed, everyone you see, Jesse the Body Matured, all the pro wrestlers, right? They're all jacked to the gills. You know, and then we get to see Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens and these guys are jacked to the gills, you know? That's the standard, yeah, that became the standard. That became the standard in sport. It became the standard in film. It became the standard in the muscle mags. And so tell me about what drew you to that. Is that what was bodybuilding the thing?

and you're like, fuck, if I want to pay to play, I got to step up. I think it was more so just childhood issues. I was always smaller. So in high school, I was 5'3 up until junior year, and I was really small, man. Like, I'm talking 107 pounds weighing in freshman year for football. I even stuffed my underwear with like locks, like the locker locks. And I tried to drink a gallon of water before I got on the scale. So I'd be heavier for the roster.

And there was this one guy that was like the shit in high school. Like he was the God. and he was my grade, but he was literally an ape. He was the size of, like, grown men, full beard, and I wanted to be like him. Like, in my whole goal was I want to be jacked like him and his brother. And so, like, you know, that childhood, you know, trauma, I guess, of not ever, you know, being enough, even though I did grow a lot in high school. I ended up actually, like, reaching, like, 510, 511, and I was about 205 pounds.

So I ended up being like full start on football is good. that led me to eventually taking steroids when I was, I think I was 20, 21 around that time frame. And I did all the typical, like, I can Benchree 15, I can squat 405, I can delve five plates. I should start taking steroids now. Like I did the typical, like I did what I had to. I'm fucking 1920. Let's start injecting test. And that shit was dope, man.

Like that really changed everything. I'm not encouraging it. I think men right now have an issue with our testosterone. most men are lazy, you know, like just fucking being completely honest, they sit on their house all day, they don't get sunlight, they don't eat correctly. So like, yeah, you're going to have low testosterone. And I truly think, you know, getting your testosterone higher will change everything. And I know me injecting it synthetically. Like, holy crap, bro.

The person I became within eight weeks, girls respected me better. Maybe because I respected myself more. Oh, 100% you respected yourself better. Yeah, yeah. That was mirrored back to you. There's zero question. Zero question. But I grew my beard grew.

Like I got a full beard. I got buffed, dude. Like, I mean, I went down that road and the exterior validation kept me, you know, wanting more and more. And then I competed. And that was a whole other experience. Were you competing in New Mexico? Where were you doing like local shows, state shows or traveling? All right, guys, quick break to tell you about my brand new community that is launching this year, the kingdom within.

This has been many years in the making. I've had a lot of iterations of the things that I've learned about and wanted to teach through fit for service for six or seven years Coaching one-on-one clients literally thousands of people that have had come through my coaching and been shaped by me and who have shaped me So what is it about? It's about the body the body is a doorway. It opens up all systems the body is the temple It's about the mind as a system how do we categorically learn how to use the mind so it can sit in the passenger seat not in the driver's seat and then how do we connect to ourselves? I right how do we connect to each other how do we connect to our parents how do we connect to nature how do we connect to god in a safe way right all of these things are critically important but the starts with the body and then we lead in with the mind and then we dive into connection and the community is a field it is a

container actively that supports this everybody who joins this community is going to be thinking along the same lines you will come there for your own reasons but everybody is coming with a willingness to grow and a willingness to learn. And with that, you have a container that leads for potential transformation. At the very least, the knowledge is going to be palpable. And so I'll be teaching once a month on their webinars on some of the most important, potent things that I think working from body to mind to connection and beyond. And of course, every other two weeks, there will be a Q&A that will go, which will just answer each and every one of your questions. A huge resource list of every book that I've ever read, the why behind it and where I think you should start, because a lot of

people get overwhelmed. You get recommended two different books on sleep, two different books on health, whatever the thing is, where do you start? Well, that's an important piece that only you can answer, but I can help you with that. And through a little Q&A and active back and forth, you will have all the help necessary to launch yourself into the best direction you've ever been, from a health standpoint, from a mental standpoint, and from a life standpoint, because life is about connection. It's about relationship and how I relate to myself as well as others. It's the name of the game. All right, please join us at the kingdom within. All you got to do is go to kingsboo.com

And you can sign up right there. And I look forward to seeing you guys. You want to learn more. We'll link to it at the top page of the show notes. And now back to the podcast. So I actually competed in Utah. And if you look up my stage photos, you guys are listening to this,

look up Patrick Dalton, like, Salt Lake City, Utah show. I got like dead last, bro. Like I, like, complete dog shit. I was on steroids in that too. So if you guys look at it, you guys would be like, this guy didn't take steroids. Did you not have the right tan?

or was the routine. That's always something that made me laugh about body. I love bodybuilders and I loved Arnold and all the classics. But the fact that it's like a dance routine. Yeah. You know, it's like how flowy can you move before you flex and then shake your quads and then, bam, make them, make them co-taught. It's so funny to think about that. It's ridiculous, you know?

I, man, I believe a lot of that show was mental problems because I didn't believe in myself doing it. And then that reflected on stage. But that lit a fire under my ass, man. Like, I was sponsored from a young LA, which is, I'm still with them, but it was a clothing company. I was sponsored from a supplement company at the time, and I was the worst looking guy on stage. So there was something in me that I was like, dude, like, I have all these quote-unquote accolades. Like, I walked on stage, and they were literally like, Patrick Dalton, Rice, Sullivan, sponsored athlete, Young-Lay sponsored athlete.

And my mom had had them put that because I had her sign me up for the show because I was like, death, like, couldn't even function, no fucking carbs, nothing. and I got on stage and I remember as I'm walking on stage I was like oh shit I look like shit I'm the guy that has all this fancy shit right I can the the only guy out there probably making money doing this and I look like absolute shit how to explain that though because I know what a bodybuilder supposed to look like right and like in growing up in the 80s you still had which is before you were you born 90s uh 99 okay 99 damn son all right that's good I was born in 82 so Back then, you guys had like Frank Zane, you know, even Loufriigno was like one of the bigger ones, but they said he was too big. He was never going to win because he was too.

Serge Newbrette, like you had guys with paper thin fucking waist. Yeah. Like 20 inch waste. Surgeon New Bratt was ridiculous. He looked like a superhero, right? And everything was well defined, but everything was perfect. And that was the pre-insulin and IGF1 and growth hormone era where now you see the giant guts and its size matters more than everything else. And that whole era shifts in the 90s.

You get Lee Haney, who's also phenomenal. And, God, who else was there? There's, what do we want to call him Dorsey? Dorian Yates. Dorian Yates, the guy of Jadawaska, right? And so you see that whole era and it's like, wow, you know, like also phenomenal, right? Phenomenal era, but a completely different thing there. And these guys are razor sharp.

So, like, it sounds like you had the right programming in terms of, like, showing up dead on stage because all those guys are, like, killing themselves to make it on there. it's nasty. I would probably be four, three and a half or four percent when I'd weigh in in the UFC. But if I tried to hold that for longer than two days, I would get sick or injured.

You know what I'm getting at? For sure. It's just for the thing. That's one thing that fighting reminded me of. I was like, oh, I'm cutting 20 pounds of water. I'm doing tricks bodybuilders do

or I'm drinking nothing but distilled water so it flushes all my electrolytes out and I don't hold anything. The hot bath versus the sauna. Like, learning all that stuff was, it was its own science. Do I appreciate that? as a science, you know?

How does the science of cutting look like? Well, for me, that show specifically, I did all the wrong things. So I waited until the last moment to take the diet seriously. I crashed course, dieted, did way too much cardio. I was doing 130 minutes of stair stear-steper in the morning fasted. So, like, that would kill me instantly. Then I wouldn't eat carbs even before the gym. Then I would train.

Then I'd do an hour after training. I did that for six weeks. So you over-trained effectively. Yeah, I just destroyed myself. No matter how much steroids. that took it there was no way i was going to hold muscle like my body was just dying um but typically like the cutting aspect of it you know it's it's like totally super bro super basic but but you know testosterone mastron and of our drugs pretty much all you really need i don't really enjoy

i never enjoyed trend for the mental state you didn't do uh clintbuterol or what was the thyroid hormone t3 i did i did that my last show yes i did uh i did i won't talk doses just but um buterol a T3 for the last four weeks. And then the most important part was always the diet though. It was always the diet. Like diet was number one. And the last time I did my show,

I took that diet super serious. And I actually took the, I didn't take the overall, but I won my class, which was a huge, like, win for me. And that's what kickstarted me into really wanting to bodybuild.

And right as I started to get my stride in bodybuilding, God closed that door as hard as he possibly could, man. And then everything shifted crazy. All right. We got to unpack that. This is phenomenal. I've had a few really good, important, like, God nods where it was just like, you know, I'm facing one direction. Then my shoulders shift to a whole different direction.

And it's like, you know, here's your hand pointing in the right direction. Like, oh, that way. Okay. You know, it's just like, damn, like that. Like, that all the thing is done, you know, so I felt that way in retiring from fighting. I've had that happen from a six and a half year relationship when transitioning to meet my wife. You know, like just wild shit where it was just like as clear as night and day. this is the next thing yes yes and i can't say no talk about that

dude man okay so i was just starting to get really good like i was everything was working i was growing like a weed i was about to be hit 240 with like a six pack um i wasn't taking a lot of drugs i was taking the right drugs i i had really figured myself out i had a great coach uh training was amazing and i was good i was for sure i was like i'm gonna go pro in like two years there's no doubt like i can do this and i had a dream i i I remember I kept asking God in the shower because of the universe, however you want to think of it. Well, Dave, you just play, I want to use your terms. Fuck what everyone else thinks.

Yeah. Did you grow up religious or did you, at what point did you actually have a relationship with God where you could actually start communicating? So I went to a Catholic school. I did grow up. I went to church, but it was the typical, like, you know, you have to believe this. I kind of revolted against it. Right. So I never truly leaned into it, but I was always very spiritual.

I had always been very spiritual, like just spiritually inclined. And this is actually this dream And all this is what made me know it's God Because for the longest time it was Oh dude, it's the ether, it's the universe And I always use those terms I always knew there was something very powerful And I'll backtrack like two days before the dream

I went to a rave The first time I had been to a party rave in a long time And I got fucked up man Like I don't do drugs but I I went to that rave I got drunk I smoked weed Like I took Adderall like I was fucking going right Did you not have ecstasy at the rave?

No dude I stopped doing Molly because I did so much Molly in my early 20s. At least you've done it. And then you're like, I don't need any more. That's, that's fair enough. That's a fine, that's a fine answer. Yeah, I did a lot. I didn't take it that time because I had done so much of it before.

I'll, I'll, I'll accept that. I think pure, pure MDMA is one of the greatest gifts ever to men. And obviously, you know, people would say, you know, recreation is different than ceremony and doing it, you know, in a couple's therapy session is going to be far more productive. And it's like, yes, and cracking your heart wide open. and, you know, listen to EDM is also a fucking incredible bliss experience that can change your life. That has changed my life. That's another story, man. But I'll get back on the before the dream, right?

Go to the rave. Everything's fucking fun. I'm loving life. I'm like, wow, why don't I do this more often? Why don't I have more fun is how I thought of it at that night? I'm asleep. My girlfriend's next to me. And I wake up, you know, in like a kind of a panic that night.

And I'm like about to have a panic attack. And for the longest time, because I'd been through a rough depression the year before where I wasn't sure of anything. And then I had pulled myself out, like honestly, very quickly. And my whole life was starting to shift. You know, I made $4,000 in a month. I was really starting to become, like, in my mind, proud of myself. So I didn't have any negative thoughts for quite a while. And that night, it was like the devil was just talking to me.

I woke up 3 a.m. nonstop in my head. Like, you're not worth it. This isn't going to work. This girl next to you is in it. everything's terrible you fucked up like that those those voices and i instead of you know completely ignoring it i was like no like let me fucking lean into this like let's fucking see what's going on here so i leaned into it and it was like hey your family's gonna die hey you're not going to see your parents live much longer like getting deeper and darker and i'm like this is the devil this isn't me and i

like verbally for the first time i go in the name of jesus christ get the fuck out and my girlfriend is next to me like probably like half a sleep like what the fuck is you doing And the voices just stopped completely, instantly stopped. Wake up the next morning and tell my girlfriend, she's like, you're fucking crazy. Like, you're always saying some shit, right? She's like, something's always going on. And that day, I meet this guy. His name is Sawyer, Cloud.

He's a gym shark athlete at the gym. Wasn't going to go that night. It's like 7 p.m. And he's like, hey, let's go get burgers. And I was like, oh, fuck it. Like, sure, like, let's do it. I swear he has a sermon with me for like an hour as reading burgers. Tell me, look, man, God's speaking to you.

You need to listen to him. all this all this stuff and i'm like whoa like what is this he's giving me verses i you need you need look into this like look you might this might not be right for you it it's like coming from the ether speaking through and i know like i know i know i should be listening so again mind you for the past three weeks in the shower i'd been asking the universe for a sign i'm not saying god but i'm saying the universe right that night i'm like man i really think i need to need to like look into god and like kind of you know try and get closer man i go to bed that night I'm walking through a forest.

This is a dream. I'm walking through a forest. And I remember, like, it was like, snap. I'm dreaming. Walking through a forest. I looked on my side. There's this girl I've never seen, but I'm very comfortable with her.

And we're walking through. And we walk into a body of water shaped in the flower of life, like the outskirts. And the water goes as deep as it can go. Like bright blue, crystal clear, like, just straight down. I can't see the bottom of it. I can see the sunlight through the water. And I'm looking at it and I look back at her and she's holding a white stone.

She's like, on the count of three, we're going to throw it in. You must seek out a gypsy. Everything in your life will work. You will become abundant and you will be wealthy. You need to seek out a gypsy. And she's grabbed the stone with her. We throw it in the water. The second it's the water, it's like, clap.

Bro, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like vibration sounds like as loud as like. I'm getting a full chills right now thinking about it. vibrations in my ear. And I'm like, holy shit, what is going on, right? I'm very awake right now. It feels real. This isn't a dream. This is real.

I'm in spirit realm. And I look over at her and she's on her hands and knees and she's surrendering to the sky, just looking up. So I'm like, okay, like, I'm just going to fucking follow her. I'm going to do what she's doing. So I get on my hands and knees and I surrender. The second I close my eyes, I'm in a wave, man. I'm just floating everywhere.

Wave. I don't know what's happening, and I'm getting a little fearful. and the vibrations are getting louder and louder. And I'm like, this is God. The second I say, this is God, it gets even louder. I'm even falling, even faster, falling, falling, falling, and then over and over, very fast, it starts going, you need to repent, you need to change, you need to repent, you need to change.

The end is near, you need to repent, you need to change. And it wasn't a voice, but it was just knowing. And I was like, wake me up, wake me up, please, Jesus, please wake me up. And I try waking up, and I over. open up my left eye and I see a black line between my room. And it's like the way I could describe it is now I'm half asleep, half awake. I'm like this and I see a black line and I'm seeing through reality,

like through the fucking ether in conscious state. And then I'm like, just surrender. Like don't fight this. Close my eyes. And I'm just free falling, free falling. And then snap. I'm wide awake. I'm like,

what the fuck was that? I look at my phone. It's 1.26 a.m. I text my girlfriend. I'm like, the crazy shit just happened to me. Like, I need to figure this out. Like, I need to change. Like, I'm like confessing.

Like, oh, I need to stop. I need to stop. That next day, I had a lust problem. I was jerking off. Like, I was on a lot of testosterone, bro. So I was like, I was always trying to have sex. I was always jerking off. I was watching porn.

And that was one thing that was weighing on me a lot. And I said, I'm not going to fucking jerk off anymore. I'm going to stop focusing on, like, only wanting to have sex with my girlfriend. I'm going to focus on the relationship. I'm going to stop bodybuilding. A week later, bro. We're going to the gym. We're going to film a YouTube video for my YouTube channel and a bodybuilding channel.

And I'm going to go to this new gym called, or not new gym, but house of gains. And last second, my videographer is like, hey man, let's go to Lyft. And I was like, all right, let's do it. Like, fuck it. Let's go. I walk in a lift. This girl has a seizure. Apparently she passed away.

And the way I think of it, like, spiritually is like she passed away. and her life her life force was given to me is how I think of it I'm fucking very weird but she passed away apparently at the gym and everyone's watching

and in that time of her like having a seizure everyone's no one's working out everyone's like holy shit what's going on I look over to my right there's this little dude next to me um

his name is Jeff and I'm like to start talking to him hey man what's up hey hey dude you actually owe me money you told me like who the fuck is this like what do you mean I owe you money and I part owner of a peptide company and I had him as an athlete I guess never paid him like oh shit and then we start talking he's like hey man like

I've been following you for a couple years like you were super cool with me in Houston I don't know if you remember I didn't remember and he's like I just for some reason I felt like I should tell him how I feel about money and I said look man I'm tired of you know just making I don't know why I said this tired of just making 10k a month dude like I should be making $100,000 a month and he looks at me and smiles I don't know why I said this to him. he smiles and goes we should go to dinner tonight and i was like let's do it man let's do it i go to dinner he shows me what he's doing he writes me a fucking day trading strategy on a piece of napkin he tells me bring me 12k cash tomorrow morning i'm going to teach you what i do i made 290 000 that next month

damn my whole life just fucking completely ripped from the ground i'm a whole new person instantly that is wild it's fucking crazy man i can i can i can i can get emotional thinking about it right now. Yeah. It's powerful too. I mean, I've had such impactful plant medicine journeys, you know, but it's pretty rare to have like the really deep communion, you know, where the vision happens and you're dead sober, you know? Oh, yeah. It's a different experience. Yeah, man. That changed everything for me. And it was real. It was real. I was in another realm. It was real. Those experiences I feel are realer than 3D. It's like, you know, there's a certain quality of dreams where when it's over, you're like, oh, it's just a dream.

And you recognize you're in your body, even half awake, you know, and there's other things where like, holy shit, that was a fucking vision. That was real. And I saw it. You know, you remember every detail of it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy because for the longest time, I was always looking for exterior validation. And it's funny because I'm talking about money, like making money.

It's exterior, right? But that dream was, I believe it was a complete download. It was a hate from God. If you do change, if you do do this, I will give you abundance. That's just, that's how I relate it. I didn't know it was going to come from it. I was afraid of change. I was super nervous because, man, I'd been bodybling for like 40 years.

It's who I was. And, uh, shit, man. It was definitely something just injected into my brain. And I'm so glad that that shit happened. Oh, for sure. I mean, how could you not be? I'll be happy about that. What'd you do coming off gear?

Post cycle therapy, anything like that? No, I'm still taking TRT, right? Okay. So I'm doing 150 more grams of testosterone a week. So I guess I didn't come clean off. Do you ever want to have kids? I do. I do.

I do, yeah. You have a sperm count done? No, man. And I know, I've been thinking about it too. I need to start being responsible with it. That is the single drawback. You know, like, I wouldn't want, I wouldn't want, I wouldn't want my son or myself for anybody I know to be dependent upon one thing

from the rest of their lives, especially a pharmaceutical, you know? Yeah. For me, having been, you know, hit the gas hard in college and then TRT ever since, I would cycle with HCG and in Clomophene from time to time just to make sure

my balls would come back to me and whatnot, but it had been so long. The last time I did, I ran a little experiment six months ago where I jumped on in Clomafine and CCHG and I ran it for two weeks, sex drive completely gone. Oh, shit, okay.

And I'm like, fuck. And I'm going to double the dose of both. So I doubled the dose of both for two more weeks. I was 215 when I started taking testosterone, like lean 215. I had dropped a 205. Oh, shit. And my testosterone score was a 343 overall and a 17 in bioavailable free testosterone. Yeah, man.

So I had like an 80-year-old's free testosterone. Or a 20, our century, our generation. I don't know. Like normal 18-year-old male, you know? Maybe. Maybe it's that bad. I hope it's not. But, you know, I'm still lifting.

I could show up in the bedroom, but I had zero desire for that. You know, something I've always loved is the concept that sex drive is, libido is more than sex drive. It's your life force. Yeah. Right? And I think, you know, the first time we get a jolt of testosterone, it's like right as that starts to kick in and you're in the gym doing whatever, like, you feel more like a man than you've ever felt. for your manness comes on board in a way where like it's a palpable recognizable feeling yes oh shit i i fucking feel what it means to be a man right and that's not what it means to be a man but that

is part and parcel of what it makes us different right and it is the thing that drives us to to go out and you know be successful in the world to have a legacy to get shit done to roll out of bed and and be ready to fucking go for the day you know and same thing with women testosterone is the most abundant sex hormone in their body it's 10 to 11 times less than us and they have a little bit higher estrogen and progesterone and so those things fluctuate throughout the month but it's still an incredibly important hormone for women as well that that's why they are giving women testosterone now right i don't know but i don't think i think the women's HRT thing is is uh laughable at best because i don't know i don't know very many there i know there are a few that are doing this but you would need to rotate

between progestone estrogen and testosterone out of on 28 day cycle and come off everything to to to have the mensies because there's a flat line there of all hormones when it's time to bleed. And that's by design. That's nature's intelligence for their body. Once they're postmenopausal, then they look more like a man. So if they may get through menopause, most women start it when they're, you know, pari menopausal. They don't want to go through it when I don't have any judgment at all. Yeah.

But that stage, to avoid that stage and stay, you know, to outfit yourself in a certain way, it, you know, it just depends on age, I guess. But, and again, it's not, I'm not a woman this go around. So I don't really have a place to talk like that. But I would say from me personally, I don't want my son to ever touch the shit. It's awesome. But, you know, I'm finding different ways. Like, what are the ways you can naturally boost hormones?

I'm into blood flow restriction. You know, out of Japan, have you seen the blood flow restriction? Like as you're working out? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it slows venous return. It basically mates, makes a hypoxic environment for the muscles.

like altitude training, which turns on fast-twitch, slow-twitch at the same time. You're pushing lactate threshold. You know, eye-intensity intervals in there. And science has had like 30 to 40 years of research on this in Japan. It's great for healing from injuries, for building muscle, for burning fat. And you basically have a 4-X growth hormone response. Oh, that's crazy, actually. Compared to a normal workout, right?

So in the workout, and then when you go to sleep that night, your body is just dumping GH because you fried it. And you're using less, typically less weight to stay in the burn. So there's less repair work that needs to happen. And you have this surplus of hormones that are there to aid and repair. Because growth hormone in of itself is fucking awesome too, right? Like that's the youth hormone. And I think growth hormone was probably the best hormone I took when I was bodybuilding. It was the one that changed everything for me.

Yeah. And you can see why guys do it. You know, it's phenomenal. But testosterone in of itself, too, also great. Thomas Seeger was just on the podcast, the PhD from ASU. You know, he's the guy that's been big into pre-cooling. So hit the ice bath for two to four minutes before. for you workout.

Oh, wow, okay. And then go into your warmup and then hit it. If you only have 10, 15 minutes, that's fine. Do that,

but ice bath as often as possible. And then for your bigger workouts, you know, hit your warm up as necessary and then crank it. Yeah. And we're seeing like a 25% increase in output because if your muscles,

you know, they get warm, but they don't get hot. Yeah. That allows you to push harder longer. So now you can push harder longer in the workout. And in men, women,

young and old boost testosterone. So he's got an end of one with thousands of people that are showing him data before and after and everyone's getting a jump. The all natural people are getting a jump and the TRT people are getting a jump. No shit. Which is crazy. And obviously, you know, all the Jet Crew stuff on the brain health, the mitochondria and everything else that's doing for brown fat and metabolism, that's all there too. I love ice bath just for the sake of that.

But the fact that you could time this differently and it's going to give people that boost, I'm hunting for shit like that for my son. I'm hunting for blood flow restriction. I'm hunting for pre-cooling. I'm hunting for what is the, you know, optimal sunlight in the day. And, like, how do we give these things so that he, it was when I tart, I was 17 years old. I didn't need to take a goddamn thing that. I just needed to eat more and sleep, you know? And then in college, if I wanted to really, really hit the gas, I probably didn't need to play

defensive line at Arizona State either. If it was a walk on, I could have walked on and played linebacker. Just no reason to try to get that big. Were you already, how tall are you, you're six, five? Six, three and five-eighths. Okay, yeah, because when I, when I met you, I was like, damn, this guy's fucking, you're a huge, man. And when I was looking right up at you and I was like, this guy's massive, right? In a good way.

So you were 6.3 when you were 17? Mm-hmm. Or so, so do you think you could have continued to grow taller if you hadn't started? It's possible. It's funny. I always thought I wanted to be, I would always say I want to be between 63 and 6.5. And my dad would always tell me, you know, like there's a benefit to every height, right? He loved doing a lot of shit.

He was like, you'll never be a jet fighter playing guy. You're not going to be able to do that. You can't handle the G-Force. You're never going to be a bull rider. you know those are and you'd never be a jockey you know there are things for smaller people even race cars and shit like that where it's just better if you've got a smaller body that's not going to be for you but there's things that they can't do that you'll be able to do and there's also you look at a guy like Shaquille O'Neal or um they did the documentary on Andre the giant he would

take two seats on an international flight to Japan and fucking not have they didn't haven't have a first class then you know so he'd be destroyed by the time he got there you know what I'm saying? It's like nobody had custom beds for this guy. And so thinking about that, it's like, I'm very grateful that I stopped at size 13 feet and stopped just so I would have helped me in football for sure. Probably would help me in fighting too being a little bit taller. But that's where we capped it.

I was happy with my height when I started taking shit. Yeah. So you're 270 at the peak, 278? 268. 268. Okay. 260 at the peak. 63.

How long were you that big for? I probably only held that for a month. Okay. And then I realized, you know, when I realized I wasn't going to start, it was kind of like, I don't need to destroy my body. Yeah, yeah. To be a backup. I could still be a backup.

So got off anadryl, which was pegging me at 268. Oh, man, you were anadryl in it. It was test decadentany and then it switched to Winnie from the anadryl. Okay. And I was getting blood work done every month to make sure my liver and kidneys look good. They totally did. How were the lipids? I don't remember at the time.

But, I mean, there was nothing out of ordinary. Like my body looked perfect. It didn't look like it was on stuff. I'm not encouraging the audience to do this, but also when I was doing my blow work, I was doing it every, there was a point I was doing it every six weeks, but most of the time it was every three months, man, my blowwork wasn't ever really bad. My diet was always pretty locked in. The only time my diet was bad was when I was, I was 22.

I was chain smoking cigarettes and drinking every weekend. So the only time was bad. Yeah, that was the stupid shit too in college was, you know, burning the candle at both ends with all the fucking street drugs and alcohol. I know that was far worse from my body than, you know, the pharmaceuticals I was putting in. you know it's it's very interesting you know with like reproduction and things like that like you know and now it appears that after running that test you know that this is something that I'll be utilizing till I'm an old man yeah maybe I just come off and say fuck it when I'm 80 who knows but also like you know having the recovery and things like that but it is it's a weird thing being

like I kind of backed myself into a corner here yeah you know there's this guy I'm his name is Yaku Davidson. I was in South Africa. I traveled for about a year and a half across the world. And I'm not sure if you know who Noel Daisal is. He's a South African public leader. He's a real famous guy in the fittest industry. It was his mentor, Yaku Davidson. I stayed with him and Noel in their house. And he was, I'm sure he won't care if I say this. He was like the Southern Hemisphere's biggest drug pin for steroids. Like he was the guy, the guy. And he's in his, I think he's about to be 60. He's in pretty risen right now. He's going on trial. This guy's story is insane. But he was in his, I believe he's in his 60s now. He's been taking tests and EQ since he was 20 years old. And like, I'm not talking

about like, you know, he's taking a CC every, he's, this dude's doing three CCs like every like three, four days. And he's, he's six, five. He's like two 80, massive dude. And some people like, you know, some people's body is just resilient. Like, sometimes the hormones, you know, like lack of better terms, sometimes your body just wants them. And I know that sounds insane. Yeah, there's definitely a change with like the amount of receptors you have. All right, guys, quick break to tell you about lucy.com.

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Lucy.com. KKP at checkout. I've told people before, like I could take everything on earth and never look like Ronnie Coleman. Yeah. Never. It just not genetically there.

It doesn't matter how hard I train, how much I eat. Some people were genetic freaks to begin with. Yeah. And then they're hyper responders, right? So, you know, but to me at the time,

it was like goal-driven, you know, and I have no problem with people that like bodybuilding. I think back in the day, It made more sense, you know, in the era of Arnold and these guys, because, like, they were fit, you know, like, they were healthy. They were going for runs on the beach in Santa Monica. Like, and these guys now, like, my wife was saying, like, some guys can't wipe their own ass.

No, it's true. Yeah. I've had buddies come to the house, you know, when they're in town, you know, famous power lifters, famous bodybuilders who, like, you can't get into certain positions even to show them juditsu or even to show them a mobility stretch, right? And I was like, dude, I could not imagine being that stiff. Even just being stiff, you know, as a fighter, I can feel that so much more when I'm doing any type of juditsu warm up or stretches. If I'm stiff, it's like I need, I've lost the happy medium. I've gone past the point of diminishing returns. Yeah, the quality of life from when I was taking blasting steroids, to compared to now, like I haven't taken, besides CRT, I haven't taken, you know, in my mind, steroids for six,

almost seven months now. There's a trail walk we do every Sunday, me and my girlfriend. It's a seven-mile walk. I just want to be outside. We want to walk and just not think about anything. Keep our phone out. And when I was on steroids, I looked more fit from the, like, from the outside perspective, I looked like someone that should be able to do that walk with ease.

On steroids, I'm huffing and puffing, sweating, bro, like dripping sweat. And it was actually two weekends ago the first time that my girlfriend pointed out. It's like, you're not breathing heavy, you're talking the entire time, and you're not even sweating. And I was like, yeah, that's crazy. Think about the cardio from that. You know, like the, there's another thing there. And I don't know a lot of people talk about it. I've mentioned it before when I got into powerlifting, just a little bit, you know, training with great guys so they wanted to be a better lifter, not to become a power lifter, but just training in that way.

One of the first things I noticed was how many people were on CPAP machines. Yeah. Right? And that's all because, you know, they weren't getting a lot. enough oxygen at night. And I was like, I really think about that. If you gain 50 pounds of muscle and fat, or if you gain 50 pounds of fat, you're still holding 50 extra pounds.

Your body doesn't need. Yeah. Right? It's 50 pounds above what it wants to be. And that doesn't translate to good sleep. And if your sleep is fucked, you are for sure shaving years off your life. There's no question you're shaving years off your life. And it's, you know, being in Austin around all the longevity gurus and, and, you know, the

fitness guys and all that. It's like I really don't care to live past 100. I don't. I could die at 90, but I want to live well until then. I want to have full function with my body. I want to be able to do the things that I do on any day right now. You know, if I want to be able to be able to do things with my, I want to dance with my kids and play with them and play with my grandkids

the same way I play with them as an older guy. You know, so I think of those things is like far better, you know, even getting down and weight is funny because my wife was like, when I got to 205, she's like, do you have body dysmorphia? I kept mentioning, I'm like, dude, I'm fucking 205. I'm 10 pounds less than I was in high school. This doesn't make sense, you know? And she brought that up, and I was like, I guess I do.

I'm just so used to being at this weight or above it. You know, dropping a 205 for a fight was like pure water weight. I'm on the fight day. I'm at least 215 again. And 215 in a fight shape is a lot different than 215 my junior year of high school. Oh, yeah. I was fucking lean, ripped 2.5. 15 and ready to go.

So that was an interesting mental thing to play with. Like, could I drop below 215 and be, okay? Do I still love my body? Yeah, fuck yeah. Does it do different things? Yes, it's actually really easy to run now. Distance running became like a cakewalk. I was like, I should have, I ran a 55K ultra at 238 pounds.

It's like this would have been much better at 200. You did that? Much better. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Man, that is crazy. Another way of another pissing contest to see how hard I could push myself post fighting.

I was looking for those everywhere. fucking badass what can i be the next thing what can i do the next thing to push it and um i realized that mid race like oh i'm doing this the just to validate myself and say that i'm still worthwhile i'm still something i'm still i can still push myself i can do these things and it was a great experience the reason i liked it was it it got me training consistently for it yeah and i love running now thanks to my wife i love distance running it's like the ex meditation phenomenal and running also phenomenal for clearing the mind, getting the breath going. You know, it's a great thing. So I'm happy to have those skills. I would never sacrifice running and yoga and mobility and juditsu again

for being that heavy. Yeah. All the strength in the world wouldn't matter to me. I've been struggling with what's next too. Like it's same thing. Like you got down in fighting. You wanted to do the ultramarathon. I did bodybuilding like full out all I could think about now now I have day trading right like I love day trading but it's not physical I sit in the fucking desk you know it's complete polar opposites the day trading too though has it's an enticing thing for men because there's a pissing contest there's numbers attached to it right yes dude yes and so you know being a spiritual person as you are and working with edmund who introduced us like I talk about the I don't think you need to people who are in the spiritual community don't necessarily

think highly of money and those are the people that aren't doing well financially so that's clearly not the case with you. That's not an issue for you, but, um, you know, big picture. You talk about legacy and things like that. Like, where do you want, what do you want to do do long term? I physically as well as like your, your legacy. What do you plan on doing now that you've got some scratch and you're successful? Yeah. I mean, I've always had a vision of myself when I was even a kid. I was younger. Um, I used to have dreams about this, which is funny. I, I see myself speaking amongst crowds. And I want to really entice not just people, but young men and specifically young men, because I feel like we are.

so lost. And I say we because I was just that person a year ago. A year ago I was lost, but I knew I deserved more. And that's like the first piece of it. Once you know deep down that you deserve to be more, you will, you know, embody that and become it. And I want to teach men that they can do that in any facet. Even the, dude, financials, cool. Like you said, pissing contest. I'm young. I'm making money. I'm fucking pissing. I bought a Ferrari fucking three weeks ago. Pissing contest. Complete pissing contest. Because I know I have to play the game. people don't want to listen to me. I'm 26 years old.

Like, what the fuck do I know? Hey, I have a Ferrari now. Now people listen. That's why I did it. That's why I fucking did it. Did I want it? Yes, I wanted it. But now it's like, hey, dude, look at my fucking dick.

Look at my car. Like, now people, dude, the amount of people to listen to me now on what I know about money is huge compared to before. It is proof, though. There's a lot of, we used to call them 30K millionaires in Scottsdale because guys would show up to the club in like a rented McLaren or something, you know. And they go right to the front and get the valet for it and make sure everyone sees them taking their fucking sweet-ass time walking in. Meanwhile, you know, they got an apartment in a Mitsubishi, you know, that kind of thing.

Yeah, they live in like a little cubicle basically, but they drive the McLaren. Yeah, no, I vow to not be that person. But the goal I really do have for myself is to just stay true to myself for one because I making the money, I had a really strong route with my family. I love my family. I love my people so much. and I want to stay true to the reason why I'm doing it and the reason why I'm doing it is dude

my parents lower middle class did everything they could for me broke their backs for me so now it's my turn to break my back for them want to move them down here build a compound I love your house by the way I want to build a compound I want to have my parents down on the compound with me I want to have my parents take care of my kids

and my mom is such a nurturer my dad loves energy loves people even though you wouldn't expect that off first, first encounter. And I want to just bring them a whole new life because, you know, they're not poor. We weren't poor. We were very abundant in spirit. But in the actuality of materialism, man, like my mom would buy me brand new shoes before

she would buy herself shoes. You know, it was like, hey, do you want these cleats for football for the whole year? You know, this is the last little bit we're going to fucking spend. It was that kind of vibe. And I want to, I want to give my parents everything they, gave me and still be a fucking complete badass. So that's high root myself is family and then and then I got to go grind and, you know, dick contest here or there.

But I want to encourage people. What about, uh, what about kids too? We mentioned that briefly. Like, what is your thought process there? I, I, I, everyone thinks I'm going to be a girl dead. Like, it's all I'm told. It's like, oh, you're a girl dad. You're a girl dead.

So, like, I definitely want a baby girl, but I want a son just because I want both. I want three kids, three to four kids. You can't plan them all, but I mean, shit, if I can have six, I will. But I want a son specifically because I want to talk to him how I talked to myself when I was just really starting to wake up and become conscious. And I want to kind of experiment with him or her, but I want to experiment with my child and, you know, always be talking to him like, hey, like, you're important. You're going to become something. Hey, believe in yourself. I want to keep my kids away from other kids for a while.

I want them to grow, you know, in their environment, and I want to homeschool them, and I don't want to put any limitations on them. And I want to create these, like, mentally abundant super soldiers. And I want to see how I can, I guess not biohack, but I guess spiritually hack them to, like you said, silver platter, those guys always grow up with abundance. I want to have my children always grow up with the abundance mindset of working hard, yes, but knowing that if I believe it's mine, it will come. come to me and I will become it.

That's the step, the first fucking step. And I want to kind of morph them into being that and just see, I just want to see how it happens. Yeah. It's definitely, it's a, it's a, we homeschool. And it's, um, it's funny. You know, Jordan Peterson always said, like, you can't keep kids in a safety bubble, right? Especially in college, they have these safe places and shit like that.

Yeah. You can't say these things and whatever. Um, and, and, and just like, kind of where that leads in terms of not doing just, justice for the kids and, you know, invalid, you know, taking some steps to do away with freedom of speech in certain ways, right? But when I think about homeschooling the kids, it's awesome because we can homeschool, we can unschool, we can unschool, we can teach them at their own pace,

we can let them lead in the things that they're interested in that we're not force-feeding them anything. When we do history, like we're reading the Tuttle Twins history of America. We're reading, you know, like very appropriate, you know, libertarian ideas on how this country was actually founded and what it means to be here now. where, you know, what the founding fathers understood would happen and that people would try to take over these positions and, you know, in the infiltration of our own government, use this shit against us. So it's never been a more important time to understand the Constitution and the amendments

and how that works for us. But all that said, it's what I found, too, is that opening a door for them and letting them walk through it themselves does far more than me trying to lead them, you know. And so getting them set up with the best coaches for football, the best coaches for football, the best coaches for juditsu. I think jiu jitzu is super important for kids because it not only nullifies bullying, but it takes the bully out of them. And if they have a bully around, like bring that kid to juditsu, that will humble the fuck out of them.

They'll become a better person. They'll no longer bully people. And, you know, that's the solution for the people that are being bullied as well as the bullies. But that white to black, the fuck, they compete. I hope my kids never fight professionally. That's their choice, not mine. But at the same point, this white to black belt path will give them more than any four-year degree will. Guaranteed for their character, for who they are, how they see themselves, how they carry themselves. So that the black belt, you know, black belt and jihitsu is one of my main pushes from a lifetime

perspective, you know, like go into your own pace, whatever, but get this done. Yeah. And then music as well, because music is something that I wish I had had, and it's something I'm practicing now, but it's, it's, they had a study on Lumosity. Remember the brain games? There was like this app, Lumosity, that you could take in would be brain games that would make you smarter.

Okay, okay. And so they did the whole study on it, and they found that getting good at Lumosity or any other brain game made you really good at brain games. It didn't translate to anything else. But what does translate to other things are music,

learning a second language, and then anything that requires coordination, balance, that kind of stuff. So gymnastics, jujitsu, even, you know, mastering, a lot of the Wech Method stuff. All of that stuff improves cognitive function globally all the way around. And I think that's a super cool thing to think about.

Dude, I just, I had a crazy thought you're saying to music because I listened to classical music because I played cello when I was a kid. I was obsessed with cello. I listened to classical music all the way until about eighth grade. And then I downloaded a big E on my little iPad or iPod mini. First time I ever heard rap. I never really resonated with it. I always personally, right, if you like rap, hell,

you but I listen to listen to it I was like I don't I can't even hear what they're fucking saying like I couldn't digest the words so I only listen to EDM music for in my entire life I still cannot for the life of me really understand lyrics much I only hear the beat and the music so classical music EDM and my girlfriend and I were having conversation we think for some the way I learned the person that I am is a lot because of how I've grown up with the music I listen to if you heard the music I listen to, you'd be like, this dude is either on drugs or he's like, he's out there, right? And I think, I think that you kind of made me think, holy shit, maybe the reason why I am, the way I am is because I've always listened to out there music, I guess. It's an impact on you for sure.

I mean, the first time I had live music during a plant medicine ceremony, I was like, what the fuck? Okay, so you need to tell me about this. Ayahuasca. My girlfriend actually listened to your podcast with, it was about Ayahuasca, Arbriana Hicks, Andrew Hicks, I'm not sure. She told me, when I said, I'm going to do a podcast with Kyle Kingsbury, she was like, holy shit, I've listened to this podcast. And she told me all about the ayahuasca, the ceremonies you did. and I am so interested in plant medicine. I did do microdosa ayahuasca and South Africa,

which inadvertently changed a lot of my life, but I didn't go in with a true intention. And I want to hear more about just your, give me the experience, the person you became out of it. Yeah, well, you know, layers, right? Peeling layers of an onion, there's no like single ceremony that heals someone completely and it's not meant to be that way.

But with the right set and setting, the right guidance, you can have a beautiful experience, challenging or not, that will allow you to see the world differently. It can open and expand consciousness, open awareness, allow you to see your own life circumstances differently. So that change in perspective is sometimes the only catalyst necessary to then adopt or integrate. We talk about integration. It's like, well, integration is just embodiment. What did you change from that journey to now that changed your life? How did it change your life? And I've had very practical things. I've sat 30 times. I don't necessarily feel

called and to do it again. You know, I'm sure that may change at some point. Really, the first dozen were like the most mind-blowing. And, you know, we saw our kids in soul form came to us and said who, what their name would be. And, you know, Bear said, I'm going to be your boy. I'll be your firstborn. And then Wolf came to a year later, four years before she came. And she said, I'm going to be your little girl.

My name's going to be Wolf. Amizer and miseria interior guide because, wow. And that can happen. It's not like these things are guaranteed, but they can happen with that intention, you know. And so, but practically even, I remember early on, ayahuasca was pushing me to do meditation and yoga. And it's funny because I kept going back to the wishing well, having not done it. Right. And so it just kept telling me the same thing.

And it finally hits me like third journey, one journey a month for three months straight, third journey. It tells me the exact same shit. And I was like, I don't understand. Why am I not getting anything else? And it was so obvious. Like pause, you haven't practiced any of this shit. That's all you get until you graduate. And it was like, oh, fuck.

And so, you know, for all the yogis out there that say you can get, you know, you can climb this path without drugs, you can do it without a cheat code. You know, meditation is the way. I wouldn't have been drawn to meditation without that, without those like direct, hey, you need this. Yeah. You know, and then going, you know, struggling with meditation for years before I found the right teachers and then just leveling up. Oh, that's what that's supposed to. Holy shit. Oh, wow.

This is a whole different level. And so I credit ayahuasca for a lot. I don't drink alcohol because of ayahuasca, a specific journey. And I don't do a lot of stupid shit I used to do because I could see it. I could live those experiences again. You know, and I will say, you know, deep-dive mushrooms, things like that, they can have just as profound an effect, especially if you're doing a solo journey or you're just guided by like one or two good people. The intimacy of that, of the aloneness or having a sitter with you.

you can go really deep. Sometimes with ayahuasca, because it's in a group, it can be very challenging to hold what is mine, what is theirs, what am I feeling, you know, and sorting that out can be a little challenging in it of itself. But with the right people, you know, I like Sultara

a lot. They're in Costa Rica and in Chavine. And, yeah, the sacred, what is it there? Sacred Valley. They have a second spot there. They flash at people shaman. in from Peru. It's always a couple. They'll stay for four months and they rotate a new one in.

And so they, they, they're awesome. They have a great boarded directors. Think Dennis McKenna's a part of it and Gabba Late. And so they run an awesome program where you're eating organic food. You have air conditioning at night. You know, probably like, oh, you're pampered. It's like, well, dude, fucking go to the Amazon and get bedbugs and tell me how that affects your fucking journey. 100%. Yeah. I've seen it. Like, I've lived it, right? So I have my choice. A clean, mattress with air conditioning is the way to go. The ceremonies are hard enough, right? But, um, you know, the, the pre-screening, the calls, the intention setting and, you know, this pamphlet they give you that really helps people to integrate in a beautiful way. Like, these are the steps

that I have coming out of it because that's everything. What you do with that afterwards is everything. Yeah. Otherwise, it's just a super dope vision you had or, you know, this, this time you were in the jungle and saw Jaguar or whatever happened, right? And it's like, that, that doesn't mean much if you don't have the happy ending, right? If there's no embodiment. And so I caution people because I've seen so many people in these circles. You go back to the same circle and they're there with the same intention. They look the exact same. They've changed nothing.

You know, and it's not that's for me to recognize. Like anytime I see that in someone else, I have to say, where do I need to say yes to change? Where do I need to adapt that for myself and make sure that I take this with me? Right. And so I've always, I've always pointed back of myself and things and, you know, not always, but I've learned to utilize that to point back of myself. Yeah. and use that as a tip,

you know, a drive to actually create change from it. But I've also seen a lot of people fuck themselves up big time. Yeah, like either overdoing it or just getting stuck in that journey. Like, you know, what is,

Jamie Wheel calls them bliss junkies. Right? Like you can have a peak experience on ayahuasca. It might be challenging, but there also might be a part of it that's like better than a thousand at a Molly. Yeah. Like peak fucking experience.

And so that, can become the thing you're searching for like oh you're always chasing again i want to feel that again yeah right i've never felt so alive i've never felt so calm or so peaceful um you know when is when does the medicine wear off you come out of the ceremony someone cuts you off and you're like oh it's okay brother he's probably just in a rush but at some point the guy cuts you off and this motherfucker cut me off you almost hit me you know my son's in the passenger seat you know what i'm saying so the the ability to to hold that medicine inside you and know that it's always there is is a big, it takes a lot.

Not everyone gets that, you know. And, you know, all these things take work. But I think, you know, for a tool that can help you, there's nothing, nothing on the planet. There's no talk therapy. There's nothing that can help you in the way that you properly run ceremony can. And I'm looking for other stuff. You know, I'm going to sit with Edmund Knighton for a darkness retreat this summer. And that'll be your first darkness retreat.

This will be my second year of the Vision Quest, no food, no water for up to four days. He invited me. I'm super nervous, man. You're going. We're going. I mean, you're making me want to go. Yeah, I get super nervous about, you know, new experiences. And I know that's a trauma that has been put on me from my dad.

My dad's the same way, man. You know, no, instant no. To like anything. Well, that's the only way you break it is by being the guy that breaks it, right? This is kind of an entry point in the dark. It's not six days in the dark. It's a much smaller amount. You know, and Edmund, obviously, is going to be there guiding us,

and he's a fucking brilliant human being. It's worth going just to have him with us. Our good friend, Dr. Nathan Riley will be there. I'll host a OBGYN, who's just a phenomenal guy and a fellow psychonaut we've gone deep before. But I want to find those other ways up the mountain because you can fuck yourself, and it's very hard to unfuck yourself.

And I've seen it with different people that when we did fit for service. We taught it for six years. Thousands of people came through. They'd hear the podcast with me in Aubrey or me and Godzi and start to self, you know, take themselves up the mountain without having the things that I had. Like, he had Don Howard.

Aubrey had Don Howard. My boxing coach, Witsy was a medicine man, a mestizo, Aztec. And so, like, he would, he brought me to two years of sweat lodges before we ever did medicine journeys. But that guy held me. I see him fucking three days a week in the gym. And we're, we're hitting Mitz and just like talking through. Yeah.

The whole process of it. And so, like, that was handholding. You don't necessarily. Most people don't have that. Mm-hmm. Even with Sultara. You know, like you're not, you know, you might have an eight-week integration course and a closing call and those kind of things, but you don't still get to hang out with the shaman. Yeah.

The way that I did for the first several years before we passed away. Wow. And so I feel very blessed in that. And I really would did, I really do wish it didn't have the consequences that it potentially has. Which would the consequences of people just losing their minds. Okay. I've seen that. Obviously, they'll say, you know, if you're bipolar or if you have X, Y, and Z don't. That's not for you.

That's what I'm worried about, right? That's the reason why I haven't done any, like, mega doses of shrooms, why I stopped doing Molly. Not that I have any, you know, past conditions, but I am worried because I personally feel that the veil is already thinner for me, that I'm going to do something and I'm going to have a hard time on, like putting that veil back over. Yeah, they don't want to bite off more than you can chew, but the great thing is if the veil is thin, you don't need a lot. Yeah. Right? So like your your big journey might be a microdose. And it might just crack you wide open.

I've got friends that that take far fucking less mushrooms than I do when I, when I'm a journey. And they're just as profound. And they integrate well. So, you know, there's no point. I used to, you know, I was a part of the pissing contest, psychedelic passport, how much mushrooms can you eat at one time, all that shit. How many journeys do you have?

And then, you know, I get to see, begin to see through that. But I just say, you know, darkness retreat might be the person. thing that might just give you the opening yeah yeah looking for and uh you know paul check who's been a mentor of mine as well and and you know led fucking 500 plus journeys you know he's he's a wizard when it comes to that stuff he has people start with something like the darkness retreat or start with the vision quest or a fast you know like start to be able to sit with yourself and organize how your mind works start with the meditation practice or tai chi have away tools that you have in your medicine bag

that can titrate what's coming in and slow the flow of information and slow where your thoughts are going right so you can recognize is this negative thing me or is it not me do I believe the negativity or do I not right and to your point on you know the devil that was a hard realization

I had leaning into negativity is that that is a fucking endless well there is no bottom of that pit there's no it's infinite right and so I and it gets nastier and nastier. And I've had many hell experiences on medicine. Probably just going too far, honestly. You know, so I feel like some of those helped me by illuminating where my fears were

consciously and unconsciously. So I could kind of defrag that. Yeah, yeah. And move through life with more trust. But those are the hardest journeys of my fucking life. You know, and I don't think many people would make it through those. So I would say, just stay on the light side of things and listen to what you're called to do. If you're called to do ayahuasca and you go to Sultara, you can have a half a cup. You don't need to take two full cups. You can have a half a cup and be done and just sit in the medicine and see what that does for you.

It is definitely on my timeline to do it. 100%. I know at some point in my life I'm going to experiment with inner works of me because I love that shit. I know it's going to present itself and it's going to be like it's going to fall into my lap. Like it's just going to, I'm going to meet someone. That person is going to go, hey, I'm doing this. hey also this and I'm just going to know like I'll know oh this is the time right I'll know when and um let's I would just say with that you know there are thousands of dollar store shaman that are practicing in

Austin and all over the place thousands and and I call them dollar store because you know they might have good medicine they might have good intentions but if they have six months of training in the Amazon that's not somebody who's made their entire lifetime of it yeah right the best guys I've ever worked with started as a toba Kero at five years old working with tobacco. Oh shit. And then ayahuasca at seven or eight. And it's in their fucking generationally. It's in his family to do this.

So he's born into it, accepts the role and starts at five years old. And now he's 25 or 55 years old with all that experience. There's no one you can fuck with stateside that even sniffs what that guy is capable of or that woman, right? They're in a league of their own. And I thought about with Jiu-I say this a lot. I got my black belt in Jiu-Jitsu, you know, retired from fighting. I'm in great shape.

I'm powerlifting. I'm strong and a black belt. And I go to train with Robert Drysdale out in Vegas. And Drysdale has been a black belt longer than I've been in Jit-Soo altogether, right? He had his black belt longer than my white-to-black progression. And it was so effort. I didn't think I was going to beat him. But I thought, like, I'll hold my own here and there.

Hopefully he only taps me a couple times. Every minute on the minute he could submit me. He was breathing through his nose. He didn't break a sweat. I was fucking gassed. so gassed and he just floated around doing whatever he wanted to me and i was like that guy that's a black belt he's made this his whole fucking life it's what he dreams about and you could i could feel the difference so wow jiu jutsu there's no end it's you know like there's there's no bottom of

the pit there's no top of the pit it's infinite right that's an awesome thing about that sport but also i had so much respect instantly understanding the levels of the game and immediately i thought about that ayahuasca. Okay, okay. Like, there are people that are like the Robert Drysdale's of ayahuasca. And then there are people like me who have a black belt and, you know, spent some time doing a certain amount of stuff. But like, that's why I don't serve.

You know, there was a point in time. A lot of people want to do that. They have the healing done on themselves and they go, fuck yeah. They want to give it. This is me. I'm going to be the guy that gives people to this. The world needs it. And they don't think about, you know, the amount of time and effort that it took for that,

you know, for that person. the Drysdale of ayahuasca to actually become that thing. I will take your advice 100% and I will do it the right way, right? I will do it the right way. I'm hoping God will implant it in some sort of vision or dream and it will tell me like, now is the time. Now's the time. And when it comes to it, man, like, oh, dude, I would love to do it and then just give you

everything I thought as I'm doing it. I'm an open book. And I have a feeling like I don't want to pre-plan what it's going to happen. But I got my palm red when I was 19. And I don't know why this stuck with me. I had just gone through a breakup. And this lady told me, you know, in your 20s, you're going to meet someone. You're going to become a person.

And that's going to help you be very wealthy in business. And you're going to be known. And you're going to become everything you ever wanted material. Material-wise, like materialistically. And then when you get in your late 20s, early 30s, there's going to be a crossroad. And you're going to have to choose. this life or what you're truly supposed to do and you're going to fall back in love with your original person and your whole life is going to uproot and change and for the longest time i thought

oh that meant the person i'm with like you know exterior and i realized working with edmund holy shit she's talking about me as a person she's talking about me she wasn't talking about you know my girlfriend or you know anyone else but me and i have a feeling when that time comes it's going to be around that time when, you know, I have success, I've done all these cool things. And inner me is going to say, all right, man, you know, time to rip, time to rip the veil, man, time to actually do what you're supposed to do. And that's when I truly think I'm going to be, you know, talking to people instead of right now I'm working for, how much money can I make? Because I'm, I'm consistently day-train. 26, dude, ball. Let's go. Yeah. I'm trying to have, like, oh, I want to do, I want to

make $20,000 a day. Like, that's my goal. Like, I want to do this crazy, crazy numbers. man it's empty it really is empty and we you understand the currency of money you know it is just a flow like the flow of money is awesome and when you can tap into it's fucking amazing but at the end of the day it is just fake it's sky money i say it all the time but i'm making money from the fucking sky i press a button it goes here i press a bond i get out make a thousand dollars sky money came from nowhere it's kind of just like i can just print money is how it feels it's going to get old i know that's going to get old and i have something with like the 369 like nicola tessla I think, you know, in nine years, I did bodybuilding for, in my mind, mentally I was a bodyblower for nine years.

At year nine, guess what happens? I completely uprooted, a completely different person. I feel like I'll do this day trading shit for nine years, early 30s. I would like that. And then uproot, bang. That's a good window, too. That's a good window. I mean, at your pace, you can probably get out the game and just let, you know, interest pay whatever you need for the rest of your life at a very young age.

There's nothing wrong with that, dude. Um, yeah, the kids thing will come, the partnership will come. All those things come at the right time. You know, and the main thing that that I think about the difference between my college sweetheart, why that didn't work and, you know, my amazing wife who have been with her 14 years, you just got to meet is that, you know, in between those spaces, there was a short time. But in between that, I got really clear with Joe Dispense's stuff. I love Joe Spence's.

What do I want? What do I want in a partner? And if I want that in a partner, how can I, changed to be that in myself because if I'm not that thing I won't mirror it back to me and that changed a lot in how clean I am I didn't want to you know like I'm not a neat freak but I do my best to be clean because I was a fucking slob yeah and I didn't want a slob I wanted somebody else that was clean and it would be organized mentally and and literally so many that's just one fucking tiny piece from like a roll perspective but um like she's the greatest

greatest gift I've ever had from God. I'm telling you right now, like there's been, in any tough journey I've ever had, she's my anchor, and I can look at her and know God is good just because of the introduction from her to me, from God. When you're looking at her, I want to tell you this too, I can see the love you have in your eyes

for her. It reminds me of my parents when they look at each other. And that's, I strive to have that, man. Like, that is something that every person needs, right? And I'm getting, I don't know, I'm getting emotional, but I for a good while there I had so much love and then I think you know manosphere testosterone I gave up love for connection and now I'm falling back into love and I'm really understanding like wow man this is what life is supposed to be and I'm not even not just a person but you know loving yourself and that the way you look at her the way you look at yourself probably

is all just centered in love. And that's what I'm trying to accomplish to. Yeah, brother. Well, and I give the plants a lot of credit for that too, you know, because I certainly, what is, Bruce, Bruce Lipton wrote the biology of belief. He was kind of like Despenza before Dispenza, working with stem cells and stuff like that. And he always tells a joke about the shadow, you know, and he's like, Bob, whenever he's angry, acts exactly like his dad.

But Bob has no idea because he's doing it when he's angry. He has no idea he's like his dad. And if you said, Bob, you're acting like your dad again. He'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm not like my dad, right? It's like you don't see what you don't see, right? You can't see it. It's anything in the shadows outside of your purview.

It's like that is inherently something you can't look at. However, with the right medicine journeys, you can see that. You can. I mean, I had like an Eastern breakdown of an end-of-life review. Like you die and you have a full-life review, right? I've had pieces of that life review at different journeys. Wow. Where I was me and the other person at the same fucking time.

And you could feel what you were doing to that person. Holy shit, man. I got full, full goosebumps everywhere. Yeah, that is one thing that I am afraid of because I have hurt some people in my life. And the feeling I feel, even right now and how I could already feel what I did to them, I know I'm going to have to review that. Right. And that's the best way, though.

It's one thing to say, I forgive you. forgive myself, I'm a different person. But to relive it from all eyes is like a, now there's a difference in perspective. There's a difference in wisdom from that. And that will shift you going forward, right? If that doesn't shift you, nothing will. But those experiences are like there's before that experience and there's after that experience. And that that emotion is what we need.

Dude, because just like Joe Dispenza, you won't remember. Anything that you remember, typically there's an emotion tied to it. that experience was so emotionally powerful, you're going to always remember it. Just like that dream I had was so emotional, I always remember it. And that's what we, especially as men, we tend to forget, we need to anchor ourselves in those fucking emotions for sure. I love me. I'm an emotional person.

I love feeling the emotions. And even if I just look back at times of my life where I was being a shitbag, even those emotions, I could remember everything I was doing. I knew what I was doing, too. And those emotions bring me right back, and I can feel the vibration that I was on. And I know that life review that that drug is going to have me do is going to be heavy. It's going to be heavy. When you're ready, when you're ready.

And I don't mean like when you say yes to any one particular journey. I've had, you know, people very close to me who were molested as children, do I waska ten times? And it doesn't come up for them. And then one five gram journey with psilocybin, and that's the time where it's safe enough to look at it. you know and it's just it's wild and that layers the onion it's when you're ready it's not like you're saying yes to digging through all of your shit you know one go um so that's a good thing right and i think when it is when you're ready god doesn't give you it unless you can handle it i agree um but dude it's been so great having you on yeah thank you so much i it's funny i was

like listening to my heart and and feeling into edmund you know i told you before the podcast there's very few people that tell me about a podcast guest that i'm not like sure send me three episodes they've done right like right when edmund said it i was like done deal and uh i do feel like we are we're going to hit this this retreat with edmund together yeah man me too man you're you're you will be my anchor to go in reality beautiful brother 100% where can people follow you do you do do you do coaching or anything like that help people out or is just your own your own deal for now i just launched a mentorship for day trading actually um yesterday so yeah so website where can people get a hold you and sign up for it just paddy kicks fit on instagram that's the only thing i have of a

private, actually to free community for Discord where you can, you know, follow my trades. You can, I go live every morning on there. And what I really want people to get from my community is not just how to make money because that's so exterior. I want them to really lean into kind of what we just did here. I want them money is cool once you have it. Experience life from this perspective. That's what I want.

I love that, brother. Well, big ups to you in the community. I think there's a lot of people. that will be drawn to that for the wealth and also leave with more than they expect this. So that's really cool, brother. Yes, yes, man. It's been a pleasure, Patty.

Thank you, brother. Thank you, brother. Thank you, bro, dude. Thank you so much, man.