LadyGang - Allegedly Wassa Happening #14

Episode Date: May 21, 2019

It's time again for the Ladies to put down the LaCroixs and pick up some gossip magazines as they take another round of news including: Kim K’s morgue house filled with strange baby names, Britney Spears' dance videos, Lamar Odom's fake penis, Meghan Markle’s job title, avocado theives, and the scientifically-proven paternal clock! Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and email Jac, Becca and Keltie at [e-mail]! And check out the TV show page's official page @ladygangtv! Check out new episodes of the LGTV show every Sunday at 11:00 only on E! And thank you to today's sponsors: Amazon = Go to amazon.com/shop/ladygang to find their favorite products while keeping the podcast FREE! Article = Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more when you go to Article.com/LADYGANG  MedMen = Go to MedMen.com to find a store near you and use promo code LADYGANG at checkout for 10% off your purchase (For use only by adults 21 years of age or older; keep out of reach of children)  Noom = Visit Noom.com/LADYGANG to start your trial today  Pantene = Check out Pantene Intense Rescue Shots today Stamps.com = Go to Stamps.com and click the Radio Microphone icon at the top of the page and type in LADYGANG to receive free postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, the following podcast is a Lady Gang Network and Podcast One production, which means it's going to be awesome. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here.

Each week we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Gang. I'm Becca, here with Jack and Kelty. Oh, hey, what's up? Oh, my God. Are we like Beyonce's? We don't even need a last name anymore?

She always goes rogue. It's always a different introduction. It's either our first names or our first and our last. Or sometimes I feel like you don't introduce us sometimes. No, I don't even introduce us. I always do. Really? Yeah.

I would never let her get away with that break in format. Well, Kelty's back on the sauce, you guys. Here's on the sauce. Did you hear the Diet Coke can crack open? Yep. I did. How long did you last? I lasted like 28 days, and then I had one, and then 30 days and had one, and then it

went to shit so like basically march and april and half of may have been a disaster but you're about to go to golden door yeah i'm about to cleanse again do you think how long do you think you're gonna last after golden door like two more months probably when's when's the earliest you've ever drank in a diet coke during the day 6 30 in the morning oh god so gross disgusting like with your coffee this time when i was quitting this time i was like instead of being like it's bad for you or quit i thought i don't want to be like a disgusting human like i don't want to be a soda drinker so it makes you feel like shit like soda so like i don't know those people just like walk around disneyland with a warm soda yeah it's so gross and then i can't stop it i'm a gross person

i have to have soda with pizza though i i'll have like a rogue soda with a sandwich that's about it I don't crave it. Those are certain things. Yeah. I mean, I also smoke cigarettes sometimes, so. I also drink all the time. We all have our vices. Honestly, it's not that bad.

I know. Maybe, but it might be better if you drink regular Coke. Diet Coke has all the bad stuff in it. Or do they have all those natural sodas now that taste delicious? It's not the same. They taste like shit. I'm telling you now, I've had one. Tender Greens has a Diet Coke that is so good.

Nope. There's nothing that I hate more than a natural. You can't taste it. I'm telling you. I felt it all over. You can't taste the sweetener. It's like. Oh, I can.

Like a natural Coca-Cola. Why are we so much prettier when we don't have makeup on? I feel better without makeup. I would disagree. You guys are so pretty. Oh, my God. I feel like my skin looks better without makeup. It's because I just saw Dr. Diamond.

It has nothing to do with me. I'm going tomorrow. Oh, my God. Are you? I'm so excited. He's coming on the podcast. I know. Then he can tell everybody what he did to our faces.

Yeah. I don't even know what mine's going to be yet. It's going to be a surprise. We'll see. All right. Well, now it's time for. good week yes it is bad week oh no go because mine actually i actually it ties into both things we just discussed dr first of all dr diamond is my good week okay because you know i've been like

toying around with injectables for a decade i started by toying around you mean you've been doing them no like trying new things every couple years you know what i mean sprinkling it in if you well yeah i've been a botox user for 10 years i started 10 years ago congratulations to me happy birthday you can't say i'm a quitter um and then i just went to dr diamond and guys i'll wait until he comes on to talk about exactly what he did because i'm still kind of not sure but he just did little syringes kind of like on a few places and i feel very fresh that's the way you have to do it you can't get like two syringes in your cheeks it's like you gotta get a little couple dots everywhere zach still hasn't noticed does he listen to podcasts no absolutely not

didn't he get mad at you he he got very crazy about the whole like idea well the idea of any it all crazy it makes him nervous with guys i feel like they think botox and filler and they think of huge balloon lips and like like pointy eyebrows they don't understand that you can do it in a way where it makes you look like a better version of yourself yeah he hasn't even noticed idiot good week idiot got the diamond treatment the diamond face a diamond facial rejuvenation is what i'm have on board for 45 i can't wait that's like the facelift right yeah i'm gonna do a facelift and i'm 100 going to dr diamond he's still doing it he will he's still very young okay i put on the books now put it on the books i'll be like you should probably go

it like be like okay 20 25 you're so far away from it oh my god thank you you also just got a necklace yeah you can't go in for the face the neck is where the age shows it's true okay um okay my bad week speaking of vices my husband now uses a jewel and it's constant and i want to punch him in his face a jewel a jewel wait he vapes it's is that considered vaping yes is it It is vaping. Okay. Well, I didn't know if there was, like, different terminology. It's Juuling, and it's the worst kind.

I don't, like... What's his flavor? Like, tutti frutti? Mango. Oh, my God, no. Mango? You can't have a... If you're gonna be a douche in Juul, get a mint flavor.

It smells like shit, because then it ends up smelling like breath, and then also fruit. This one is kind of, thank God, odorless. Like, I don't smell it ever. Oh, you don't? Why? Was he a smoker? Because here's the thing, is that he was, like, the kind of smoker that I... Well, he was worse than me.

Like if he had a beer at the end of the night, he'd have like a cigarette or he was a social smoker. And then he started at work getting like stressed out and needing breaks. And so he would like go outside and one of his colleagues smoked cigarettes. We'd like bum a smoke. And I'm like, that needs to stop. So I got really crazy about his like daytime smoking at work. Well, I'm really like myself over now because he's constantly hitting a jewel like a 22

year old party girl. And I want to kill him. And it's worse because they think the Juul isn't bad, so they do it more. Haven't you seen the signs? The billboard tastes like candy, works like poison. Yeah. No, Juuling is just as bad as cigarettes. Probably, if not worse.

And I'm sorry, you look like a douche. Douche. Is it like thin? It looks like a USB port. What am I supposed to do? Please send help. I'm thinking about it. That's gross.

I would rather him go back to smoking cigarettes like once in a while. No offense, but, like, who smokes? I mean, I know I'm drinking Diet Coke. I mean, listen. It's weird. Sometimes I love a cigarette. I know. I understand.

There's nothing, you know, I did, I mean, I did totally quit, and now I'm, like, back on the, like, every 30 days, like, Kelty is with Diet Coke. When I was at the Met Gala, some person came along, and they had, like, a long cigarette, and they were smoking it on the Met Gala. Like a Virginia Slim? Like a, with the container that you put it on. Oh, like a Craldival? And I don't know, like, it was so wild that it was, like, Jared Leto's head's coming at

me, and I'm holding the head, and then Katy Perry. and then the guy came by and i was like can i have a puff of that and i like smoked some of this cigarette and i was like i haven't smoked in like 20 years i was like you're like don't even know what you're doing like i turned to my producer i'm like we can't air that and he's like no we can't air that you're an idiot how was jared leto's head it was squishy it was yeah it was like one of those like a madame tussauds yeah it was weird but it was hot too like his face it looks like him yeah okay my good week what's going on with you becca what It is lame to wear your own merch around town is sitting here in a lady gang hat.

Okay. Ladies and gentlemen. I only said at the airport. In public. I can wear like around LA coming to podcasts. The only people I see between my house and you guys is the security guy at the front gate. I wear lady gang. We all wear lady gang merch.

I just won't wear it at the airport and I won't wear it like around town running errands and I won't wear it. I think that's it. Like, where you're going to be seen. Yeah. But I see you, and it makes me so happy. This hat's amazing. It's my favorite. It is a really good hat, and you can get it on theladygang.com.

You can't hear it. Bad week. I got an interesting tweet this week. At Kelty Knight. I hate to say this, but please do something with your eyebrows. They are too, period, big. Period. You don't even have big eyebrows.

Wait, who said that? Someone on Twitter. Please do something with your eyebrows. and i want to let you know i will not be doing anything to these bushy brows if you i don't understand they're not that big they're not big at all small wrist big brow big vag i am hashtag hashtag jacqueline i love all the criticism you get on your looks it's so funny because you're like so gorgeous and it's always because it's the et people it's not like lady gangs jail people oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i saw abby lamilla this morning and she was like tv is

a big deal in jail and i was like oh i know you should i've never been people visit jails why did no why did abby go to jail i forget tax evasion is that the dance mom yeah okay my good week so i was just on tour with jared and we were like you were you don't say you don't say we were bopping around the south p.s we're writing our book and we're like here's things you should never do please do not instagram an entire concert oh my god and yet jack instagrammed a week also no jack oh i guess also i feel like i've been to a main concert because i've seen every city and every show because i was drunk and then i woke up i was like should delete some of these everybody out there should know better it was a lot but anyway i do still love you and jared is

sexy when he plays and i approve of him it's his hair and he has like a fan so he used to have a fan because he gets he's very hot he runs very hot so the fan would cool him off but now it starts blowing his hair like in weird ways so he doesn't know where to put it he needs to make it so that it hits just his body chest yeah it's not beyond his crotch honestly i used to use a fan in my crotch in between dance numbers on glee and game changer that is a smart move it's hot down there i should have him uh lean it down so anyways uh we're like in nashville charleston like all around the south and like bleeding gangers will come up to me like they come up to us you know while we're out whatever well you also post every rooftop you're at yeah so i'm like please target but

and kids will come up to me the shows because it's like obviously but charlotte north carolina let me tell you i was like gg hadid at places where i didn't post that i was wow like girls were coming up in lines should we go on tour in charlotte we need to go on tour in the south i think we need to tour it in the south it was so crazy i've seen nothing like it and then one girl was so sweet she i was like walking back after they had played to like their tour bus and she's jack and i'm like oh hi i'm like did you like the show she's like no i just came here just hoping that i would run into you that she was such a big fan and like she couldn't buy a ticket to their show because it sold out she's just waiting there that's nice it was so sweet

what a sweet stalker yeah she was she was very sweet stalker she's like i hope this will be your good week i'm like it is oh wow anyways we should go to charlotte and it was really fun what other city should we do i don't know i mean nashville would be pretty tight too nashville and charlotte tight tight tight Birmingham how is Birmingham my best friend lives there i guess we can't really go there right now not now it's not a good time it's an awkward time it is an awkward time for all of you we're not we're not hitting up alabama as a lady gang no certainly not me um but maybe in nashville charlotte would be good um okay my bad week it's it's simple but there is a new term that will not be in our uh lady gang dictionary and it's called veganpreneur

it's a vegan entrepreneur and they're using it as like a hashtag vegans in general what does that mean though it means they're a vegan entrepreneur like they make impossible burgers or they just happen to be an entrepreneur like they have a jewelry company and they're also vegan yeah or they're like a vegan soda they're like a vegan i'm a veganpreneur you do like a vegan blogger or a vegan photographer or a vegan speaker it's like a whole new group of entrepreneurs called vegan preneurs here's the thing i used to really hate on vegans for being so like i'm vegan all the time and everybody gives them a lot of like flack but here's the thing is that to be a vegan it's a very hard way of life it is i can't live the normal lifestyle so i understand why it

comes up to group together yeah you can't go out to dinner i was it's like if i were kosher i feel like i don't would always have to introduce myself as being kosher because i couldn't like eat the same and socialize the same way i understand vegans it's true i think the saddest time of my life is when i was vegan and i'm like i'm sorry guys i erin sadness and i can't go out yeah that's like when i try not to drink it's very hard it's not fun but anyways i'm go go veganpreneurs okay live your life when we come back it's time for an allegedly what's happening it's been so long since we just sat in a room and talk shit about people i'm so excited without being edited yeah okay what's going on now here's the lady gang and we're back all right first topic

of the day kim kardashian and kanye west i can't have had baby number four and it's palm sunday palm oh i was saying small i thought it was psalm oh right is it a psalm i always get it wrong i I would say psalm. It's psalm? Psalm, like the Bible verse, right? But is that how you say a psalm 27 or whatever? It's psalm, yeah. Is the S silent?

Yes. The P would be silent. No, the P is silent. Psalm. It's a psalm. You thought the S was silent? I thought it was a palm. It's a palm west.

Obviously, none of us are that religious. Okay. I'm such a dipshit. Here's the thing. I like a weird name. I'm named Kelty, which I think is pretty original for my mom. but like north saint chicago like i like she like she chicago she isn't shy shy whatever it is shy town whatever oh my god i don't know like chicago shy town shy town because that's where he's from

but isn't it chai town no oh my chai town we are the dumbest people like i quit anyway i think all of her names so far have been kind of unique and interesting in its own way this tipped it this I just tipped it to no ma'am. Have you? Little baby Psalm. Psalm? It's Psalm. I mean, the like religious aspect of it.

Well, that's hard. What if Psalm wants to be a Buddhist? I know. Yeah. What if Psalm wants to go? Marry a Jew. Is it a boy or a girl? It's a boy.

A boy. What if he wants to go his own way? You know? I think that's hard. Second of all, what is your nickname? Like North is like Nori. Shy. Shy.

Or as Jack would say, chai. Whatever. It's a chai tea latte. Chai town. Psalm's short name is just... Maybe they'll call her Salmi. Him. No, Salmi.

Balmy? Balmy Salmi? It sounds like it would be Solomon, but Solomon's a Jewish name. It's just weird. But anyway, I wouldn't put it past them. Also, did you see the tour of their house? They have no furniture. It's so weird.

It's the craziest BuzzFeed article on the face of the earth that's ever been. there's an article comparing kim kardashian's house to britney spears's house oh my god it is truly the greatest journalism of our generation everybody do yourself a favor i was crying crying tears because it's like minimalist amazingness and then just not even amazingness they call it like a morgue it their house looks like a morgue because there's nothing in it it's like where's a candle where did it hang it's scary and then get a cactus they're like here's the bathtub all my four children can fit in there and i was like yeah and then they get baptized like it's so crazy and then they're like and here's where we they keep the dead bodies and then in like uh all great

it's all like cement i saw the video of their bathroom yeah where it's all modern and like yeah and the sink is just like a flat thing that was cool but maybe the whole house is like that the house that's weird it's and then they're like and britney spears's lobby is like everyone's family when you're at the olive garden it's like the craziest mediterranean like ornate and then she has miniature furniture everywhere it's so insane she has like miniature houses of her house and every room so good no miniature furniture like in odd corners ever like but not even miniature for kids no like smaller dolls dolls it's the doll house did you guys see her instagram video of her dancing yeah well which one the latest one the latest one and they said it was

her showing that she's okay oh gosh because like whatever larry randolph what's his name rudolph was like she's not performing yeah and they said it was like maybe possibly a response to him saying that that she still got it but like that dance video i love britney and i think she could crush it but what that was confusing for me here's the thing that is so difficult about britney spears getting older is like becca and i used to be dancers and we could really crush it and now we're like 30s so it's like i'm still crushing it okay i mean yeah but you're not getting up off the floor in one count anymore yeah i am okay okay kelsey i did really appreciate all of your old dance videos yeah i was like this is wild this is a wild ride i have so many now that

i know how to pull shit off youtube oh this is gonna be a wealth of how do you pull shit off I got a special app that I can pull anything. Is it the video downloader app? I don't know what it is. It's some illegal shit. Yeah, it's definitely illegal. Anyway. Okay, next topic.

Jogger nipples a thing. What? Did you know this? Did you see the article? Your nipples get hard when you jog? Can you pull it up? Apparently, you have to put like covers or band-aids on when you jog for a marathon. Oh, yeah, for marathons.

Because they bleed. Because they bleed. Oh, from the chafing? And there's nip strips now on Amazon. But anyway, people were shocked to find out about this. And the pictures are so grotesque. Oh, my God. It looks like you got shot.

I used to go see the New York City Marathon every year, and that happened to so many people. What if you're a woman and you wear a sports bra? Does that keep them in? I saw it mostly with men. With men? Yeah. I suspect it might be a man's thing. Because it's like the constant up and down of the fabric on your nip.

Oh, my God. So now they have special nipple covers? Well, men should be tortured somehow. Yeah. I mean, oh, are your nipples sensitive? Guess what? My vagina bleeds every month. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Also, if you choose to run a marathon, then you deserve that kind of hell. It's true. It's just all part of it. Who runs marathons? I can't understand it. I can't even run a fourth of a mile.

I'm running a marathon. I'm like, why? I'm sure I'll go through some sort of midlife crisis and try to do it. I definitely, that doesn't sound like my midlife crisis. No. All right, Jack. I think you're in yours. Yeah, you're definitely in yours.

Okay. Lamar Odom. He's writing a memoir. It's called Darkness to Light. and there are some major bombshells. How does he do a bombshell? Don't you think that he had to sign an NDA?

Not about his own life. None of these things are about the Kardashians. Oh, it's just about his shit. Lamar Odom says he slept with over 2,000 women. I believe it. How? Easy.

Easy? Yeah. You're a professional basketball player. You're in a new city every night. Every day, I'm sure. Like, if you do the math, if he lost his virginity at like 14 or 15, when most boys do, how many is that a year? It's like he's been having sex for 20 years. Yeah, okay.

He probably didn't, 2000s and under. He had sex with too many strippers to count. Not shocked. Yeah. He ran out of porn to watch. He watched all the porn. That is shocking. You cannot possibly run out of.

Maybe just the kind of porn he likes. There's so much porn. There's no way. Well, that's what his memoir says. Wow. I'm reading this. Sex was a trigger for the drugs. No kidding.

Now, while he played in the Olympics in Greece, he had to take a drug test. And at the time he was smoking weed, he knew he would not pass the drug test. So he overnighted himself a giant rubber black penis. And he had a trainer pee into the fake penis and it worked. He passed. No. wow that's i've never heard of that before he's a smart man genius like because do they watch you pee they like look at your penis so he just got a life look just must have had it in his pants and

then he like pulled it out and the fake pee came out and he passed that how are they gonna stop people from doing that now probably make you be naked while you pee and like pull at your dick to make sure the other one doesn't fall off well now he's like probably a lot of people got away with this and now they want to be the lamar of it i'm sure he was just smoking weed yeah he was smoking weed yeah right also doesn't we go out of your system in two days you should be able to smoke weed anyway if anything it makes you worse like a worse athlete yeah like smoke all the weed you want you fail yeah the opposing team will be like here you go here's a joint megan markle oh god so you know baby archie was born yeah i hate the name so much well sorry to

Everyone named Archie out there. I just don't like that it's not Archibald. Yes, we've talked about this already. But anyway, so 11 days after his birth, Archie's birth certificate came out. Guess what Megan's official title was? What? No guess. Blogger?

Dealer's doctor? Mother? Philanthropist? Can she make up her own title? Megan's official job title on her son's birth certificate is... Influencer. Princess of the United Kingdom. Is she the princess of the United Kingdom?

She's just a duchess. Or wait, duchess? Yeah. She's the duchess of Sussex. Anyway, Harry's is the prince of the United Kingdom. I don't get that. Are they planning on killing like Will and Kate? Because isn't he next in line?

Yeah. Well, I think. Oh, the dad. Prince Harry and Prince William are both princes. So does marrying a prince not make you a princess? She is a princess. Oh. but what's the difference between a princess and a duchess i honestly don't know are people upset

about this well i just think it's ridiculous well she probably didn't fill it out herself someone from defending megs well i'm not defending i'm just like what's the likelihood that she actually even filled this out it's like at a doctor's office we have an assistant and like we're nobodies i barely fill anything out anymore that's true yeah she probably didn't fill it out But then our friend, Gary, um, I mean, oh, Gennetti, Gennetti remade it and, and Photoshopped it where it said occupation. And it was like six on the call sheet on suits and like dealer, no deal model. Yeah.

That one was a good one. Yes. My favorite thing about Megan Markle is I've told Becca about this, but one of my friends that is going to be nameless right now is convinced that she's a psychopath and keeps comparing her to Ted Bundy and comparing Megan Markle. Meghan Markle to Ted Bundy, and then every time I see her, she goes on these rants about how she's a psychopath that's going to kill a lot of people, and how she faked the baby, and then how the moon bump is a thing, and then how she, it's this whole thing. And then sends me any article that she can find, like, comparing her to any serial killer ever. She's like, see, I'm not the only one.

I'm like, yes, you and one other person in the world. It's really amazing when people can fall under these conspiracy theories. I love a conspiracy theory. I love them, but, like, this one's very far-fetched. Well, that's the thing. Google Moon Bump because it's, like, the fake belly that you can buy. And everything that comes up when you Google Moon Bump is Meghan Markle. For real?

Yeah. So it's, like, she wasn't the only one, but she's a very passionate one. You think there was a surrogate there? No, her face got too fat for that to be a surrogate. It's true. I thought up until the end that she didn't. At the end, she kept it together, and then it was that 10th month. It doesn't matter who you are.

It doesn't matter who you are. You can't avoid pregnancy face. Yeah. All right, a couple more. future you know he's a rapper yep he gave baby future a rolex for his fifth birthday i'm not surprised also who's he married to um is he married to sierra no were they married they have a baby together this is sierra's baby future's mom yeah yeah anyway so future gave the baby a rolex and he opened the box it was very oh underwhelmed he just said thanks and walked

away i'm sure the kid carried more cared more about the box than the watch yeah for sure the kid was probably like oh box like opening it up and down true do you think i could get a baby rolex though because i could probably afford that one yeah probably a baby rolex it would fit my baby wrist they're probably still like 25 grand yes can you look it up please you can't buy a baby rolex i'm sure you just got a small one and made it sized to his wrist honestly you could get baby rolex with your wrist though it would look ridiculous all right one more before our break taylor swift says she shaves her legs daily and twitter is offended who has time for that are they offended because it's so much yes ellen asked her about you know people are like do you wash

your legs do you wash your legs oh have we not gone through this i've brought this conversation up before right maybe but i get every one of the main tour stops yeah really no i i had this huge conversation with some friends of mine like two years ago about washing your about washing our legs and all of the girls don't want like we don't specifically suds up our legs my husband said and all the guys do yeah like they specifically will like go I like let all of my other soap flow down my legs my legs are not filthy so I thought it was funny that there is actually a resurgence of that happening in the world yeah because you feel like you started the trend of like do you wash yeah somehow i got back to taylor swift anyway uh ellen did a poll on twitter 20 of people don't

wash their legs only 20 that's it don't wash their legs they're liars do you wash your legs well i wash my butt crack i'll wash not your leg that's not your leg and then i wash i wash my belly that's not your leg and then i wash the bottom of my feet not also not your legs okay Then I, no, I don't wash my legs. You don't, do you take soap on your hands? I'll sometimes, if I have some residual soap, move down my legs. But you're not like, but I'm not. I don't think you acted it out like very method.

Because I'm like thinking about myself showering. But you're not like targeting your legs. No, no. I'm not like, oh shit, I got to get back in the shower. I forgot my legs. Like how dirty are one's legs getting to have to specifically wash them? I read somewhere that like water without soap, it can kill like a very large percentage of germs. Yeah.

Well, I don't believe that. It's true. That's gross. Well, also, Chris Knight, who makes me shower with a bucket, I want to have a message for you, Chris, is that- Maybe you do need to wash your legs with that bucket water. No, but my thing is, like, Chris is so tall and his legs are ginormous. Why are you wasting valuable water washing your legs?

Can you tell me about the bucket? Like, it collects the rest of the water. Like, how does this work? Okay, so you know when you first turn your shower on- Should I have been using a bucket in your other shower? There's not a bucket in there. Don't ask that. I would never make a guest use a bucket.

Oh, so as it's heating up. As it's heating up, there's a bucket under it. And so it's like all this clean water. Oh, you don't actually put a sponge in there and give yourself a sponge bath. No, no, no, no. That's what I pictured. Then after the shower's over and like all the water's in there, you water with the plants with the bucket water. Or you put it down the drain into our rainwater collector and then we water the plants downstairs with it.

Wow. With the gray water, right? You're so green. And then the problem was, is the green, the gray water, or the, no, it's not gray water. Gray water is poop water. But the shower water went into my water collection module downstairs, and then it's standing water, and then I had a mosquito infestation. So I had to kill all that water and the mosquitoes, and now I've started again.

Anyway, this is thrilling. Okay. We're going to take a quick break, but don't go anywhere because this is a fun break. Okay. This is for one of our fabulous sponsors, Stamps.com. You just go to Stamps.com and you click on the corner and enter the code LADYGANG. And we got us, what's this, a mail scale today. And I wanted you guys to guess how much things weigh in our office.

Oh, that's fun. Because when you get Stamps.com, they send you a postage scale for free. And you can mail anything from your office. And that's why we love them. And we wanted to find a fun way to promote them instead of just telling you to use Stamps.com. Yeah. So, Jack, what is the first thing we should do? My LaCroix.

It's not full. Okay. Half, my three-fourths full LaCroix. Drinking LaCroix. What's your guess? Oh, I don't know. Like eight ounces? No, it's in grams.

I don't know how much a gram is. Oh, you could do it. Do you want to do ounces instead? Yeah. Okay. It's eight ounces. Oh! Winner, winner.

Okay. Oh, eight ounces. Of course it's eight ounces. The beauty's, its letter says 12 ounces on the thing, so that makes, okay. Honest Beauty was in our last lady box. They had a hydration mist. How much do you think it's going to weigh? Here it is.

Four ounces. Six. 5.5 ounces! Okay, can you get Callie, please? Are we doing this like Price is Right? Like, did you lose? Did I win? We're going to get Callie.

How much do you think Callie wins? Callie's not going to sit on that scale. She's going to sit on this scale for Stamps.com. We're so excited that they are our sponsor. I just used Stamps.com to send something because I did not want to take it to the post office. it was very heavy it's very helpful okay callie you ready how much do you think callie weighs i bet she weighs 15 15 pounds oh pounds okay here we go one ready callie one oh gross two three there's no way she's gonna stand on a chance are you ready she's being ready to be weighed

all right so stamps.com we love you so much sorry it took me so long to weigh callie with no she doesn't fit on a poacher scale you can't mail animals but anyway we love stamps.com and thank you for existing so that i don't have to go to the post office anymore it's the best amazing we love them go to stamps.com clip on the microphone on the right hand side and enter our code lady gang now back to the lady gang all right we're back we're gonna talk about your friend leah michelle what about her she's in the news because she said she would do a glee spin-off in a heartbeat yeah oh really yeah what is the probability of that actually happening i mean it would require Ryan Murphy to want to do it and like right now he has so many exciting things

happening that he doesn't need it he doesn't need it I think like if he did it it was just it would just be because it was like nostalgic for him and I still don't think it's been long enough I mean it started 10 years ago you need it to like when it ended yeah it needs to be like 10 years since it ended how did it end where were all where was Leah's where was her character in New York yeah Oh, well, also, we did, like, our final episode was, like, a fast forward, and she was, like, pregnant and married to Jonathan Groff's character. I would like to see that movie. And, like, at the Tony Awards or something.

What were you doing in the final episode? I'm not even sure. I was in a power suit. I don't really remember. Oh, at least you're, like... Or a power jumpsuit. In your best outfit. I looked like an e-news correspondent.

That's probably what Kitty was doing, to be honest. Did you get a ton more followers when it was the anniversary day? Mm-mm. I don't know why that would get followers. followers like everyone was talking about and then it's probably popping up on people's explore pages and shit i don't think so but i also don't check my followers like you do i don't check anymore now that i'm like at 115 000 now that you're actually growing yeah wow you're not like really like obsessing 3 000 more until 100k yeah exactly now i don't even care and then it's growing

so fast so that can't even keep up honestly a watch pot never boils it's true but i have been noticing more on like so there was this whole thing at instagram where our managers at be social the girls who do all of our social media stuff they went to instagram and instagram was like all these girls are like obsessing over what their feeds look like do we oh we talked about this kind of yeah but um ali our manager was saying that at instagram they were like it doesn't matter like they don't care what your feed looks like because a lot of girls it's so curated and so they'll have like a close-up photo of a beauty shot and then like their hand holding a product because not because the picture is like good for engagement but it looks good in the feed yeah they're like

get rid of all those like filler photos that make your feed look good we'd rather just see like great engagement on your content which is so it's such a relief for me because i used to be like i can't post a dance video it doesn't mix in it doesn't look good well guess what my dance video now that all i care about is engagement off the charts best engagement i get is from my dance videos so guess what world there's more coming and that's tight with you do anything you can come when are you going i'm going on friday at three with jenna and we're doing janet jackson i'm coming okay it's gonna throw off the formation though no because a four a four and a three or i mean uh a two and a two oh cute okay so you're gonna cut me yeah you'll probably be on the edge

okay definitely if you could come with that like mini dress and shirt combo that you had on your insta stories it'd be great oh my god your boob fell out at one point in the video when the guy was picking her up no the first video that so kelty recently posted an insta story of her and christina perry like oh yeah my boobs didn't fall out and zach was laying next to me in bed like looking through stories and it's and it's on kelty's dance video and he's like watching it and then she spins around her boob comes out he's like i feel weird watching this he's like i have to stop did you even notice that no no of course not it was very dark all right next topic man steals 730 avocados from a ranch christian madrano was 37 he got caught stealing 730 avocados from a

ranch in california it was worth 620 dollars oh my god yeah the avocados are pricey he did it over the course of a few weeks no way did he work there he took a few at a time and then he sold the avocados to businesses and restaurants in the area that just seems like a lot of work to put in for six hundred dollars well he probably made a lot like it was six hundred dollars worth of avocados from the farm but he probably that's cost got upscale so he ups charged all the restaurants no i thought you i thought you said that they're worth six hundred dollars from the farm worth from the farm like if you're wholesale okay wholesale so he probably made a couple grand yeah but also what restaurant are you that you're just like accepting avocados from a random guy he probably

He gave a good deal. And avocado is in nature's packaging. And so it's like not much could have happened to them. Who cares who's selling it to you? Even like a random guy off the street. But like when I worked at Little Caesar's Pizza, every Tuesday we would get the delivery of supplies. Like are you just like, can I walk into like a restaurant in Malibu and be like, do you want some bread? Let's try.

Let's try. Like it just seems like. Did he sell all of them? He sold them. In California? Yeah. That's really weird. Good for him.

It's my dream to have an avocado ranch just like Oprah. Okay. next topic men it has been proven have a biological clock as well whoa

yep but it starts at like 50 there's a new journal that says men should bank their sperm before reaching their advanced paternal age

what age is that 35 to 45 Zach's gotta freeze some sperm I guess older men have decreased fertility I mean that that makes sense

it's not like a 70 year old is gonna be popping out my uncle had his first kid at 53 That's so crazy. Yeah, I think decreased fertility is like, oh, instead of one million swimmers for parts per million. Yeah, exactly.

It's not like your eggs dry up. Yeah, it's not like you have negative three left. Cold dead uterus. Yeah. They're dicks. Crusty uterus. Crusty utes. Okay.

Leonardo DiCaprio. Leonardo. Leonardo. There's a new picture of Leo. Oh, it's so good. And it is iconic. What is it? him he's in can he's outside the hotel de cap which is like the most expensive famous thing

of all time and he's he's taking who is that that's his girlfriend pictures of his 21 year old girlfriend he's instagram husbanding yeah and so people saw him and he's basically he's an instagram boyfriend now good for him honestly nobody can rise above it a rod it's true no one you know i'm gonna send that to zach i am so pissed off at zach's attitude every time i ask him to take a picture of me he'll take two nope oh yeah jared knows to take 200 you guys like you want some more i guess i'll go back down on my knee i was like your ankle is so low i know he has to make me crawl on the floor when i know you have to lay on your back but this is the reason why is it's like another thing like we were talking the other day about getting botox or

whatever how much are you guys hanging out without me this is weird three or four of your stories today have been like oh i was telling becca about this like i'm right here if you guys are gonna if you guys are gonna hang out without me don't bring it up a million dollars to post a video tomorrow of me and jacket dance class like if i could just me that doesn't even dance i would love getting invited over kelsey and you're like i told jenna not to come i wanted the formation to Just be us. Yeah, just us. You need, like, over 300K to come.

I want to start our tours off with us doing a dance. No. Yes. I'm going to make Brittany choreograph something. Yes. Come on, Jack. No, Jack, you can do it at the end. You can come in and just be like, pop, pop, booty pop, booty pop, and then it's the end.

Okay, if I can do, like, an easy thing. What song should we use? Confident by Demi Lovato. It's the beginning of the podcast. Oh, it is, right? What's wrong with me? I mean, you're right. We need to do that.

I'm texting Brittany right now It's a surprise tour So have you guys been hanging out? Yeah, we have All the time, like every night She sleeps over every Monday now I gotta sleep over somewhere She's like, I don't have anywhere to stay

Kelsey woke up a bucket for that spare bathroom I'm sick of showering with a bucket Okay, we have one last thing And then we're done Scarlett Johansson is engaged to Colin Joyce Guys, I used to text him Back in the day who is he first dan and shay wait who is he he was on snl calling jost isn't it jost jost i think

i mean you used to text him i'm pretty sure it's jost i i don't know you don't even know him but he's on snl he was on i know exactly who he is he's he's cute yeah tall he i don't think he's that tall he looks tall is he looks tall yeah congratulations we like scar jost we like texted We were messaging on Twitter for a while and then texted like two times. And then he was the one that got away. And then started dating Scar Jo. Scar Jo. God damn it.

Such is life. Anyway, okay, well, this has been fun. I'm so glad we're back to just being like allegedly what's a happenings. I know, it's fun. And I forget how to end our podcast. It's a scene. Well, we weren't. Oh, it's a, yep.

Well, we will. See you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber, Will Sterling, Steve Delameter, and Jared Monaco. Make sure you subscribe, rate, and review our podcast. And if you love it, share it with your friends on social media. Like, oh my god, I just listened to Lady Gang. This episode's so great.

It's why I love to listen. And if you really want to, which we know you do, please follow us on social. At Kelty, at Becca, at Jack Vanek, and at the Lady Gang. Sign up for our newsletter at theladygang.com and join our secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday.