LadyGang - ASK THE LADYGANG: Destination Weddings, Initiating Sex & Bad Bosses

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

Keltie defends her blinking, Becca's got a spider living in her bathroom vent (the heated toilet seat is compromised), and Jac thinks she's losing it after telling the same dream seven times.... Plus the London dads teaching "Periods & Ponytails," the "Hot Girls Read" trademark meltdown, and Keltie's rant about event dress codes that keep putting her in mud-colored linen. Then we Fix Your Life: Cabo vs. a Michigan wedding the in-laws can actually attend, getting passed over for a promotion, and being the only one ever initiating sex. Remember to send questions to helloladygang@gmail.comCheck out our amazing sponsors!!LadyGang is sponsored by BetterHelp! Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/ladygangClean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein powders at CleanSimpleEats.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome to lady gang i am becca tobin here with jack vanik and kelty knight Hello. Hi. Hi. How's it going? Kelty, what's that face? No, I'm just, I honestly am like so happy that I'm wearing my glasses because the comments on YouTube have been so mean about my blinking problem, which I know I have. What? And it's because my eyes are not, when I did my interview with Dr. Diamond, I'm like this. I've never noticed a blinking problem. Because I can't
Starting point is 00:00:46 see him. No, I've not. It's like a nervous. I also think Dr. Diamond makes me nervous. So This reminds me of when my late father-in-law, bless his soul, remember they came to visit you at the set of E.T. Entertainment Tonight, Kelty? And they were like, you blink a lot? No. And then you lost your job and they, because they watched it every night because they love you, right? And then I told them like, she's not going to be there anymore.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Like she's been replaced by like a bunch of different girls. I don't even remember who it was because they had a bunch of different girls. Yeah. And he told me, he told me like the next time I saw him, he's like, tell Kelsey, I really miss her. The girl who took over for her, she blinks, she blinks too much. Oh, so there you go. No, it can be very offensive when you blink too much.
Starting point is 00:01:30 And you know what? Thank you so much, Pops in heaven. I hope you're looking down at me and feeling like. I like, I think that somebody told you about this blinking thing with you. I've literally never noticed it before. No, it's a thing. Like I've had it. I've had it.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Do you have dry eye? Discussed around executives before around me. They're like, is something wrong with your eyes? Do you need eye drops? I'm like, no, I'm just nervous. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, bitch. Is it with like heavy eyelashes? No, I think it's just a nervous tick.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I do think, anyway. I've never noticed, so don't get in your head about it. I know. No, and also when you have buttholes for eyes, butthole eyes, it's not as noticeable. Yeah. I've never noticed. Okay. Well, in that case, it's time for Good Week. Yes, it is. Bad Week. Oh, no. My bad week. Okay. You guys know I've had so many bug encounters, right? Just like for those listening, last summer, a roach crawled across my hand in bed at a lake house. And I had a spider crawl in my ear and it was stuck in my ear for several hours last summer.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Oh, God, I remember that. Remember that? This year, I had a bug crawl across my face while laying in bed one night. So I'm like, what is happening? I'm not necessarily afraid of spiders the way that Zach is. My fear is, like, mostly with, like, snakes and stuff. So spiders aren't that bad. So I'm just being tested.
Starting point is 00:03:02 There is a vent above my bathroom, my toilet in my bathroom, you know, when you poop and you want the smell to be sucked out. So I kept noticing when I would go into the bathroom that on the toilet seat, there would be these like crumpled up dead ants. And I'm like, oh, they must be like falling from this vent. They must be whatever. And I'm like, OK, well, that's gross and weird, but maybe it's a fluke. Each day went by more and more crumpled up dead ants.
Starting point is 00:03:31 And then I see a dead fly. And then I see the next day I look up and there's a little by the vent. There's a little spider web with a dead fly in it. and Zach I was like finally I said to Zach because that's not his poop bathroom we have separate poop bathrooms and so he's not in there much and so I said I need you to tell me what's happening and he goes oh that's because there's a spider living in that vent and he's having snacks and that's what's falling um his crumbs are falling onto the toilet this motherfucker is gonna be he's got to be so large because he's killing flies he's killing large ants so today
Starting point is 00:04:10 I have to I'm not doing it I have to assist Zach in removing the vent and I'm so terrified that there's going to be some big-ass spider just like sitting there waiting but I can't I need it to happen because I now won't go to the bathroom in that toilet because I'm afraid the spider lost your poop bathroom I've lost and it's the only bathroom in this house with a heated seat so I need this fixed but I because I haven't been going in the middle of the night I will literally leave my room to use the powder bathroom because I if a spider comes down in the middle of my and I have bad spider karma right now. So yeah. That's that. Or his droppings like some like little ant carcasses falling on your head. It's disgusting. So that's that. I my good week is that
Starting point is 00:04:58 we are I'm currently sitting in what is going to be the nursery. And I mean, it's a it's a disaster right now because we have to like paint the walls and do all the things but we moved forward into his we did i talk about kicking him out of his room so this was his old room okay i think you did about moving him into the new bedroom he likes his bed he loves it he loves it so much and he keeps coming into this room and talking about like i think the baby's gonna like this here i think the baby's gonna like this color wall i think the baby is gonna be blah blah he's like very invested this is a big change from Ford saying but I wanted a brother to now being like and sometimes he'll even say my sister and it's crazy to hear your heart melt it melts like the
Starting point is 00:05:46 first time he ever said my sister I was like whoa it was very it was so surreal so it's just been like so cute and I was so worried about him adjusting to you know a new spawn it's so cute yeah I can't wait it's coming so soon I know it's now you just told us so late that like now I haven't had time to mentally prepare for this I know I know Jesus it'll be great um okay I'll go so my good week is I came across this TikTok the other day and it's called pints and ponytails and it's this group of guys wait I already talked about this on the podcast Yes, I did. God damn it. I mean, clearly it's really made an impression on all of us. That's so funny because I was like, wow, I've never seen this before.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Do you? Are you okay? I will. Did you talk about this recently? Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll let the fans decide. Okay. So we'll all add on to this because they have done something new with these pints and ponytails. Okay. So to recap for anybody that didn't remember Becca's Good Week, like I did. Kelsey, do you remember? I actually don't. Okay. So basically anything we talk about or just me doesn't matter. But I don't even know what you're talking about. So I need more
Starting point is 00:07:07 information. I'm going to ring a bell. I'll explain it. Okay. So it's this group of guys in London. It's a bunch of dads and they started this group called the secret life of dads. And they do these meetups called pints and ponytails where they bring these like fake, you know, these like hairdresser heads and they teach the guys how to do hairstyles. I do remember Becca talking about this. On their daughters. Okay. So anyways, I'll add to this. They're doing a new thing called periods and ponytails. And it's a whole class that these guys teach other guys about women's periods and what goes on. And like, they do like a trivia and a test at the end. So you can learn about your wife's menstrual cycle in like a real way. And I'm like, we need more
Starting point is 00:07:48 men like this in our world that like actually give a about us you know that's so sweet actually it was used against me just yesterday because I was being a bitch and Zach goes are you in that weird the whatever phase and I was like luteal phase he's like yeah that one and I'm like mean phase I don't like you knowing this I don't like you knowing this because you're gonna disregard anytime I'm a bitch to you yeah because you're gonna be like she doesn't mean it she doesn't I mean, she's luteal. I mean, at least he's learning a little bit more than just being like, are you PMSing?
Starting point is 00:08:23 Right, that's true. Because that's basically what it is. That's cute. That's very cute. Okay, so it's so cute. And I'm like, I wish, I'm sure they do some sort of version of like that in the States,
Starting point is 00:08:32 but it's like, it's so nice to see this like generation of dads like really trying and really like putting in the effort. It's very cool. Okay, so. I can't wait to see Zach Martin at a periods and ponytails class. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Can you imagine? I do remember this because I was like, Jared could teach one. Because he braids your hair at night. Yeah. Okay. I remember this conversation.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Okay. My bad week is that I need to talk. Okay. Well, I have two bad weeks, actually. And then a good week. Sorry. I need to really talk to you guys. The first bad week
Starting point is 00:09:10 is that I accidentally may have yelled at a lady gang member. Not on purpose, but I got, I get kind of cunty. You know how I get in an email. So I want to apologize to her. Many months ago, like this, probably like two months ago, I got the most beautiful email to our email. Not saying that all of you can do this and it's going to work, but this girl was basically like, Hey, I absolutely love the bridal merch that Jack made that you guys are selling. I am on- I see where this is going.
Starting point is 00:09:43 The tightest budget. I know, I'm a f***ing idiot. I'm on the tightest budget ever. I'm just shooting my shot. If there's any way you would send me a sweatsuit, I will take, I promise, I will take the most insane photos in them and send them to you.
Starting point is 00:09:59 And like, you can use my picture to promote it. And I was like, you know what? I f***ing love the Kelty of this, right? Like, just go for it. And I was like- Listen, you gotta shoot your shot. You never know. And the thing is, is that we make about $4 per item on our merch, really. Like by the time you
Starting point is 00:10:16 make it and print it and ship it and like, it's just, it's not like a cash cow. So I'm like, fine, you know, we're going to lose this money, but we'll get some great pictures out of it. So then I sent it and nothing. I'm like, I don't, where are my pictures? Where's my tagged post? You know, I'm on that Instagram every day. And so I wrote her like three or four weeks later and I was like, Hey, it's me. And she goes, Oh my God, I got the worst sinus infection. They're coming. I promise. And I was like, okay, cool. Sorry to bug you. And then it was another four weeks. And now I'm mad. I'm like, you, we are a small ass business and you have shenanigled me one too many times. So I wrote an email following up 14 days later. And I was just like, Hey, wondering about
Starting point is 00:11:05 the pictures um this is starting to hurt my feelings oh my god anyway she wrote back her bachelorettes this weekend and she said i totally understand my bachelorettes this weekend i thought it would be cuter if i'm like with all my girls so to be determined if we get the photos or not i love a lady gator gangers gumption but you know i don't like i don't appreciate when someone doesn't follow through but i just felt then after she wrote me and she was like oh my bachelorettes coming up then I was like am I being too cunty about this I probably am like you've supported us you've probably come to a show she was like an OG like I just felt like a dick so anyway I want to apologize to the lady gang and just know that I am a dick in an email and you're sorry to that
Starting point is 00:11:52 woman I mean essentially that was like a partnership you know it was an influencer deal it was an influencer deal. And yeah, I mean, I get it. I, it, it, I was on, I had not that I was on the receiving end of this, but I recently did a collaboration, but it wasn't, I didn't go out searching. It was like brought to me and I kept saying, no, thank you. Because I just didn't have the bandwidth to like do the thing. It was not that I didn't like the thing or whatever. And then finally I was like, yeah, we'll do it. Like, fine. It's great. Whatever. And then this business owner was relentless and um i had gone above and beyond already and it was when people i respect the small small business hustle but also like i can't change the algorithm of instagram for you
Starting point is 00:12:39 i can't go in they just not like how it performed she didn't like that she didn't get more followers from it and i was like well first of all i can't control who goes and sees and and follows like i out of my control. Nobody's shit is being seen by anybody anymore. No. So it's like, what do you expect? Yeah, it's like, but I get it. It's like this fine line of having to be like a hustler, but also just like knowing when to shut the fuck up. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:13:26 Get your quote at sonnet.ca. Switch. Save. Simple. Sonnet. Now back to the Lady Gang. Speaking of shut the f*** up,
Starting point is 00:13:37 this is just a hot tip. There has been, I know this isn't your guys' world, probably on your Instagram, well, actually it is yours. Why do I say things like that? Like, Kelty,
Starting point is 00:13:47 stop being a f***ing dick. Okay. something crazy happened on book talk. I don't know if you guys saw this. Oh, I did. Hot Girls Read. Okay. This woman trademarked Hot Girls Read. And I only found out because the sticker pack that I'm giving away at this indie thing, along with my pre-orders, has a Hot Girls Read sticker as a part of it that we made. Like, that's just a saying. And the woman from the bookstore wrote me and she's like, I think we have to change the sticker pack. I don't want to get sued. This woman went a year ago and trademarked Hot Girls Read and she got the
Starting point is 00:14:24 trademark, which I don't know how that's possible. Was it merchandise? Yes. She makes merch and she is like a little one of those like small businesses, you know. So she had all the merch and she was making it. And that's probably how it got taken. But like and then no one contested it or whatever because you know but then she started sending out like messages being like she was cease and desisting people allegedly she now says she wasn't but apparently she was messaging all of these etsy stores and all of these like really small businesses being like hey i own the trademark on this you need to take your shit down you know um and she so it's a really interesting case not a case, but because she technically owns the trademark and the way that you keep a trademark
Starting point is 00:15:12 is by making sure that everyone in the sun isn't using it. Like that's like how you, you have to protest that trademark or else it just becomes null. Right. So she's doing what she should do. And then she gave it up. She, she, she, the internet hate was so intense that she was like, I'm going to abort. I don't think you abort a trademark, but you know what I mean? I'm going to give back the trademark and then she was like i made it as a business decision not a human decision yeah just i would have never i would have never given back the trademark like that's that's why trademarks exist lead yeah she shouldn't have been bullied like that's the thing well she shouldn't have trademarked she shouldn't have regular person saying it's not even her it's
Starting point is 00:15:59 not even her business like but she did it and legally she got it and that's why trademarks exist like well I get both sides but it's also like she's just being a business owner a smart one I don't even know if it was smart I think she like but it is like what she was saying like business versus a personal decision I guess it's one of those things if you're gonna do it then you just have to be okay with all the hate that you're gonna get when you're trying to also do it like Jack think of how rich you could be if you had trademarked have a great day or whatever the that t-shirt was but the thing is you usually cannot trademark sayings is it the name of her business you can trademark no what her name is like ali rose co that's why i'm confused of how
Starting point is 00:16:43 she trademarked a saying because that is hard to do yeah anyway okay so my real bad week that was just a hot tip my real bad week is i need to have a discussion with the women of the world about a palette of clothing. I am having a lot of trouble because I am now at event number 568 where I have been sent a palette. Okay. Back in the day when there was a wedding or a party. A color scheme. It's like your wedding, Jack. I was thinking like of a palette, like a shipping palette. I'm like, that's a lot of clothes. Okay. So Jack started it. normally when you had a wedding or an event if you were in the bridal party the bride got to say hey bridal party you're all wearing the same in blue dress then we got cool and we were like hey
Starting point is 00:17:39 you can wear any red dress you want just find a red dress you know what i mean now we're at the point where every party I go to has a dress code theme and I'm getting a palette. And I have to tell you something. I am not a cool fall. Okay. I don't want to be wearing green anymore. I don't own anything green. I don't like the way my skin looks in green. And I keep going to events and they're like, earthy tones, linen, greens, moss. No, bitch. I need to be in a red or a yellow. I have 1,000 pink dresses. Put me in a black. I have that great black dress that I bought and I'm supposed to be able to wear it to everything for the rest of my life. I can't wear it anymore. I am so annoyed because I'm trying not to do fast fashion and I'm like, I have to buy something new
Starting point is 00:18:35 every time. And it's not only a color palette, it's like then also a theme. It's like a color palette, but then like don't wear sequins because it's like earthy. I'm like, now I have to buy a mud dress. Anyway. What an event is this with the earthy color tones? I'm going to a party in Ibiza, which I'm very excited about. And these people throw a great party. And I'm not mad at this, but this is like the 500 thing that I've had to buy a green dress for this year. And I look horrendous in green. I don't want to do it. I am doing Poshmark. Specifically green? It's like green, you know, the dark. That's not very Ibiza. No, it is. It's like, well, they do bright, bright. Anyway, I'm so happy to go. And I love,
Starting point is 00:19:18 you know, I just I think that I need a break from being told what to wear. You're lucky I'm there. Rough life. I know. I know it's not really a bad thing. But just in general, it's hard out here. I think people have gotten a little carried away with demanding like you know what sometimes people appreciate it like with Jax I appreciated it because it was just simply bright colors right just yeah I was like just don't wear and don't wear black neutral yeah mine wasn't that hard but people are getting too specific like yeah it's just it's not and and I mean like I have this like kind of gold color bronze dress. And I was like, is that earth? Like, I don't it's just wear it. Who cares? I know. But then I went to the other wedding and I wore a short dress and
Starting point is 00:20:09 it was black tie. Well, that's different. That's obvious. Yeah, I know. I'm an idiot. OK, wait. So those are all my bad weeks. Oh, OK. And I just have one more thing to tell you. My good week is that look at this. Did you fix your tooth? I bleached my bottom teeth and now they match my top veneers. My mom said that my bottom teeth were yellow. And it worked? I got a tray. I sleep in it. Oh, they look very light. I also got the infection removed from my nose. Good. And what's crazy about it is, you know, we are people who love to discuss a medical crisis. The fact that I lived for like three years with this like light pain in my face 24 seven is actually shocking to me. Like now that it's gone, I'm like, wow, that was actually very annoying. So they went in and
Starting point is 00:21:05 they removed the infection and now it's dead. And it wasn't as bad as I thought. A root canal type excavation. It's not like it was in the 90s. Oh, good. They've really come a long way and they're drilling. I was also highly on drugs that I, after the surgery, they were like, you're going to Uber home. They're like, we don't actually let you Uber home. Cause I think it's dangerous. And I was like, well, I don't have a choice. I have no people because Chris was gone. I just cried. Then I somehow high on the drugs, walked myself to Whole Foods market. And I bought like a liter of mashed potatoes, a liter of banana cream pudding and an eight pack of rice pudding. That's all I bought.
Starting point is 00:21:49 And then I Ubered my way home and ate it all. So you ended up Ubering anyways. I had to Uber. I know it. No one loves me. Not true. Okay. When we come back, we're going to fix your life.
Starting point is 00:22:03 You're listening to The Lady Gang. Okay. We are back. This is so cute. This girl wrote the sweetest message to us. We're going to fix her life. I don't know if you want us to fix your life, but here we go. she said long time lady ganger here I just wanted to say how much I love listening to you
Starting point is 00:22:21 thank you I have a wedding bridal question got engaged in April trying to figure out a venue place for the wedding full transparency her parents are paying for the wedding and that's very important she was never the girl with the binder of wedding ideas she wanted it to feel like I was she wants to feel it like she's planning it with her fiance lately by surprise she's been drawn to a destination wedding, ideally in Cabo. But my fiance comes from a large family who are not travelers. He's worried if we plan Cabo that most of his family won't come. I know mine will and he's worried it will feel uneven or if he's not represented. I also don't want to make him feel that way and I know most of his family doesn't come. I'll have a sick to my stomach
Starting point is 00:23:01 feeling that day of the wedding. Everyone keeps telling me, it's your wedding, you should do what you want. But at the same time, who wants to plan a party that people can't come to? The reasons his family wouldn't be able to make it would not be wanting to travel that far, his mom, or not being able to afford it. If we didn't do Cabo, we could do Mackinac Island. We're from Michigan. Mackinac. It's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:23:22 It's where my parents were married. It would be an amazing time. I just can't shake it. It would feel like my second choice. With how expensive weddings are, I really want it to be everything I'm dreaming in my head. Please help me. I have bad news.
Starting point is 00:23:33 She's getting married in Michigan. This is marriage, babe. This is your first test in marriage because if your husband is not 100% on board with this idea, you need to compromise. Sorry. I also will say Mackinac Island is gorgeous. It's not like it's you're getting married at like a shitty hotel or something. It's truly such a beautiful island. They don't allow cars there. It's like so, so pretty. It feels like you're in Europe. So like second option is a very incredible option. And it's also very expensive there. So it will be
Starting point is 00:24:07 and if her parents are paying, it's not like you're going to like it's going to be shitty. go have the wedding there make everybody happy everybody can come go take your honeymoon or a big trip to Cabo invite some friends if you want have a buddy moon and then that's the best of both worlds I will say as somebody who had a destination wedding all my advice to anybody else that's getting married is don't do it unless we're rich rich rich rich rich and don't have really you wouldn't do a destination again no it's too hard here the only way I would there's two ways that I would say you can do a destination wedding one if you don't really care too much about specifics and if you are good just picking a wedding package and being okay with that low stress or two if you
Starting point is 00:24:52 are so rich that you can hire a wedding planner to do literally everything for you and you don't have to do any of the hard stuff like doing it the way that I did it where I had to do everything myself was so stressful and then I wasn't really I couldn't really enjoy the day as much as I would have liked too because it was just so so there's so many moving parts so and I would say I've been to so many weddings in Cabo and I think the idyllic Cabo wedding is actually not what really happens at a wedding and also there's so much there's weather there's the sarcastic the last three weddings I've been to in Mexico rained it's rainy there's like I was at this beautiful wedding and this like guy with his inner tube was walking they're doing their first kiss and I was like
Starting point is 00:25:37 I'm like in the audience being like, get the out of the way. Like it's not, it's not what the pictures make it seem. So I feel like, again, I agree. The most important thing is that your family's there and he feels seen and like a buddy moon sounds great. Yeah. Cabo will always be there. You can do Cabo in your vow renewal. Yeah. Whatever you do, just don't make people wear mud colors. Thank you very much. Okay. Next. Have any of you been passed up? This is perfect for you got for all of us. Have any of you been passed up for an internal position your boss's boss pushed you to apply for? I can't wait to hear advice on this. Honestly, pretty crushed right now. I've been working for the same company for three years as an office manager. We had another
Starting point is 00:26:20 office manager and a regional office manager. They both left the company. Since then, my role has expanded and I went from running two communities to the whole market. At the same time, a field marketing coordinator position opened up and I felt like the next step for me. My boss encouraged me to apply. I went through multiple interviews, submitted work samples, took assessments, and spent months thinking this was where my career was headed. My boss gave the impression he felt the same. Today, eight months after assuming those responsibilities without a formal promotion, and six months after being told about this promotion, I found out they hired an external candidate with more marketing experience. I'm pretty crushed. It's not about getting the
Starting point is 00:26:57 job. It's that I spent months taking on more and more responsibility, hoping it would lead somewhere. When the news was broken, I immediately asked for a letter of recommendation. I like this company and I really saw a future with it, but I clearly have no room to grow here. And who treats their employees this way? Well, as a corporate baddies, we are. Well, you were, you were corporate. I was sort of, yeah. Corporate adjacent. I feel like you at least have somewhat of an experience in this field. I think that newness will always be rewarded for some reason. I don't know why, whether that's in Hollywood or corporate world, it's like you have been there. You're tried and true. You're dedicated. You're a hard worker. You don't miss any days. And then some new shiny
Starting point is 00:27:42 thing in LinkedIn comes in and they're like exciting and they're because they don't know their flaws. They don't know their anything about them. And it's always new. It's like dating someone new, that like feeling of cocaine when you're like, oh, potential, the potential of this person. And it sucks because this person has more experience, but they might actually not be a hard worker. They might be loyal, not be loyal. They might be annoying. Like you've already proven you're all those things. And so I understand completely why you're hurt. But I think this is a really important lesson. And I think what you did is getting the letter of recommendation is like, it's time to go. You're clearly ready for that
Starting point is 00:28:21 next job. And I think as women, a lot of times in corporate, we stay where it's safe. And even if you did get bumped up in that same company, I guarantee you, you could find a job, you'll get the position, and you'll make more money. Because when they bump you up within a company that you're already working at, the bump is so insignificant. You can go to another company and ask for $10,000, $20,000 more than you're making, and they'll pay it. You know what I mean? Because they want to, They're probably paying this new person way more than they would have ever paid you. Like, it's just, I just don't believe in, like, I believe in being loyal to the work when you're under contract and working, but you should never be loyal to the vision of
Starting point is 00:29:06 someone else's company if you don't own that company. Like, it's time to go. I'm excited for you. Get your shit together. Be looking like the worst mistake they ever made in their lives. and you're allowed to be hurt too. It sucks when you get passed. I've been passed over so many times
Starting point is 00:29:25 for promotions like that in a different level, but man, it hurts. That sucks. Man's rejection is God's protection. I agree. I agree. Okay, this one is crazy. She says,
Starting point is 00:29:41 my partner and I have been together six years. I love our sex life, but lately I'm always the one initiating. I'm starting to feel like a door-to-door salesman with my own body. How do I bring it up without making him feel attacked or making me feel pathetic? Wasn't it one of the sex experts told us that like the time to have this kind of conversation is right after you have sex when they're in a very vulnerable position? That's a good idea. Yeah. I think that you can bring it up in like, it's just all about your
Starting point is 00:30:10 tone, I think, when it comes to this, because there could be a million different reasons why he's not the one that's initiating. Um, but I think doing it in a way where you're not attacking him or you're not making him feel bad. And when, when you're just kind of laying it out, being like, Hey, even like a little bit, like maybe once in a while, if you were the one that would initiate, it would make me feel more valuable and yada, yada, yada. But I think it's, you just do it right after you bang good idea I'm just so annoyed by this whole thing because I think and we talked about this when Vanessa was on the show Vanessa Martin which is a great episode if you want to Marin anyway she I think it's really annoying because we essentially trained our men
Starting point is 00:31:01 to like I've trained Chris to not bother me because he knows if he bothers me he's gonna say know. So then he just stops asking. And then I always have to be the one that's like, you know, as you know, putting on an outfit or like getting ready. And he even told me, he's like, the reason I want you to put an outfit on is because when you put an outfit on, I know you want to have sex and I'm not going to annoy you. And I, it's just, we're. It's hard. It's hard. But yeah, the communication just after sex, post-coital. It's perfect. Have a little cuddle and be like, Yeah. Next time you do it. Yeah. I do want to be wanted very badly. Like I want to be told I'm beautiful. I want to be held. I want to be sexy. But I also want to be able to say no and for you
Starting point is 00:31:44 to be fine. Yeah. And not offended. And not a pouty bitch. Not a little bitch. On that note, good luck. If you need to send us questions, send us an email to helloladygangatgmail.com And we will see you next Tuesday. Lady Gang is hosted and produced by Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin and Jack Vanek with social media support from Kali Carrera, audio and video editing from Jared Monaco and additional support from Steve Delameter and Podcast One.

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