LadyGang - BECCA NICU UPDATE
Episode Date: August 6, 2026Becca pops back on to give the gang a real-time update from the NICU, where baby Meyer is stable and making steady progress but still has to ace her final test: 16 bottles in a row. Becca get...s honest about the highs and lows of it all — finding her daily "glimmers" (an underrated Jimmy John's sub, a newly perfected Starbucks order), making herself a Babylist registry, a raw mama-bear moment that left her wrestling with guilt, and how Zach and big brother Ford are holding up. Keltie and Jac hold space for her to feel the hard parts, drop the strong act for a minute, and soak up all the love pouring in from the Lady Gang community.Thank you for supporting our sponsors!Arya: Get $10 off your first month at https://GetArya.com/LADYGANG Clean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein powders at https://CleanSimpleEats.comK18: Need a better shampoo? Get 10% off your first purchase at https://k18hair.com with code LADYGANG or shop at Sephora! Amazon Music: Get your music, podcasts, and audiobooks ALL IN ONE APP! Subscribe to Amazon Music today! Macy's: Shop in store or online at https://macys.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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It's time for a quickie.
Podcast One presents The Lady Gang,
The Hollywood Girl Posse with Lady Gang Quickie.
Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek.
Let's make this quick.
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Lady Gang Quickie. I'm Becca here with Jack and Kelty.
Man, it's good to be back.
She's back and the intro sounds normal.
Were you guys on the struggle bus? I wanted to go listen and then I was like,
that would be so weird to listen to my own podcast without myself.
Yeah, I don't think I would either. We've both tried to do it and for some reason,
I just don't have like the speed that you do. It feels very hard to get out. Like other words
are fine, but not the intro. Doesn't work for me.
Sticky on your tongue.
we need to and then like we were recording last week and we're like we should just we miss her
like we should just call her and check in on her and then Jack was like no don't bother her she's
like in the NICU and I was like oh fine so anyway we're glad it was a kismet moment Becca is looks
like she's at the house in Atlanta and has a moment we're like just pop on and give us a quick
update and you know throughout the next few weeks when Meyer is in and out and what's happening
Rebecca will pop back in, but we're so happy to have you back for just even one episode to just
give us updates. So what is going on? How are you? How are you, first of all?
I am good. I really only hit a wall one evening around 1130 p.m. and I was in the NICU and I had
just had like, you know, just nothing having to do with Meyers. She's stable. She's making
progress. Like everything is good. I am so grateful. It was just this moment of thinking,
okay, we're at 10 days in a row of Zach and I, one of us always being here at the hospital.
And then whenever you're not at the hospital, you're spending time with Ford because Ford is
so confused. And I have so much support here, like my parents, but Ford misses his parents.
So we're having to really, um, like I bought a treadmill to put in my mom's basement because
I'm like, if I have 10 spare minutes, I need to just move my body because I'm sitting so much
holding a baby, which no complaints. But I just hit my wall and I thought, you know, it would
just be really nice to bring my baby home at the end of the night, every night. But she's here.
She's in good hands. I think what I've just gotten used to is that I never get things quite that
easy. Like in this fertility journey, it's just been speed bump, speed bump, you know,
maybe more than a speed bump at times. So the fact that we're here, I'm so grateful that if
this is the final hiccup, which like, please, God willing, like knock on wood, I'm fine with it.
It's just, I took a moment to kind of have a little bit of pity for myself and a moment of
being sad and being like, I wish I could just bring this baby home because it's been such a
long time that I've wanted this baby. So it's okay. She's making progress. It does feel like
we're never going to get out, even though I know that we are. She has to like her final test of
getting out of the NICU. So she's off oxygen. She's off the bilirubin, the light for jaundice.
She is just, she has a feeding tube still, because this is like a very hard skill to
have the energy to swallow and suck and blah, blah, blah. So she has to have 16 bottles in a row
and finish them all. And if she doesn't, because if she gets too tired, she either won't take it
at all and then they have to do the feeding tube or she'll take like a couple sips and then gets
you tired and then they do the feeding tube. So it's like 16, two straight days. That is a lot.
Oh, that's two days. Okay. I'm like, wow, that's like 16 days. I know. It's like every three hours
there's a bottle. And, um, yeah, it's just like, I got so excited last night. She finished a bottle
and then it was, it wiped her out for like the next three feedings. So it's really, um, I'm
going to be clenching my butt cheeks for the next several days, hopefully only days, but could be
weeks. I don't know. It just depends on like when this little lady is ready to be bottle fed.
Oh my gosh. How, do you know how much she weighs now? Has she gained weight?
She's back to her birth weight. Cause there it's normal for them to always lose a little bit of
after they come out. She's, she's back to her birth weight, which is, um, five pounds, nine
ounces. Um, so it's just, you know, it's a doozy, but you know, here's what I'm doing. I'm giving
myself glimmers. Remember we used to talk about glimmers? Yes. We need to bring them back.
I have found my glimmers each day. It's been something different. One day it was a, uh,
Jimmy John's sub, which was the Turkey Tom chef's kiss. Dude, it's underrated. Underrated AF. I
didn't modify it either because I just didn't have the energy to deal. It's perfect. The bread,
the mayonnaise ratio, it was so great. It was such a glimmer. I've also perfected my Starbucks
order because there's a Starbucks in the atrium of the Women's Center. And it's taken me all this
time. I'll just share with you guys if you're interested. It's an iced latte with regular milk,
one pump of the classic syrup and cold foam on top oh guys you deserve every ounce of that cold
foam I realized that I'm not a vanilla girl and for all this time I'd been getting vanilla in my
lattes and I've never really hit the hit the spot so anyways the glimmer today was I sat in the
NICU it's all quiet except for the beeping constant beeping but it's very quiet it's very dim I put on
my headphones i listen to music and i created a baby registry for myself on baby list wait i love
this this is thank sorry thank god becca because i am like everyone's like what can we send her
and i was like she's not and this is like such a complicated thing because first of all this is a
preemie baby so she's gonna nothing's gonna fit her you know what i mean and then it's like you
have so much baby stuff from ford and i don't know what you have and then also you don't want the
like garbage pink stuff. And I was like, I believe so strongly in registries
because I just want to give you something you're going to want. And I don't care. I don't care
that it seems weird that you went and picked it out for yourself. Great. I wish. And we've talked
about this before. When baby list makes a lady list, I will be the first person to sign up and
then send the link to my husband. I love a registry. More registries, please. I know. I know.
because then you're not sending a bunch of junk. It's your birthday. I'm looking on Becca Tobin's
lady list and I'm just seeing that she has really, really wanted this little coin purse or this bag
or this facial or whatever. Anyway, what's on Meyer's lady list, which is actually a baby list.
It's the baby. It's the baby. She has a baby lady. So it's I don't know if I I was living under a
rock because I did one for Ford, but I think it's been five almost five years. It is it is such a
dream. It's like shopping without spending money. And you're putting all of these things in your
registry and they have every, every brand you could possibly imagine. They have articles. Like
I was getting stumped on nursery decor. There's, there's whole links to gender neutral nursery
decor. Also strollers. I cannot tell you how much stress and strain strollers, car seats have been
on my brain. And I went and I looked up reviews and I did all the things. So I put on all the
things that I had for Ford that was too gross to hold onto. So like the diaper genie, it's an
expensive product, but I didn't want to hold onto it and have it. It's just after one use, it's just
not a thing. I'm doing a lot of the essentials that I got rid of or since he's been born,
they've upgraded these products like majorly. So it's a mixture. I picked out a freaking dresser
for the nursery. Now, I don't know who's purchasing this for me. Won't be me.
but they have very reasonably priced but anyways I realize this yes you're right I gift giving is
not my love language I don't I don't receiving it doesn't feel like amazing however it is amazing
when people just start guessing because you don't have the registry and they send you things which
is so thoughtful but like you're saying I want the things that I need right now and so I'm
shamelessly going to be sending out my baby list registry to anybody who asks me if they can do
something for me. It was so interesting. I was reading an article, you know, now that I'm a
godmother, I've been like, you know, reading my articles about how to be a good godmother.
You're so responsible. And, you know, everything in me wanted to run to Marshalls and just buy
1,000 cutesy things. And there's so much cute baby stuff there, obviously. But a lot of the
articles were like, here's the deal. You're going to get all of these onesies. They're going to wear
them once. And the best thing you can do for a mom is just give her a pack of 20 of the cheapest,
softest onesies that when something is so explosive or terrible or dirty, they do not feel bad
tossing it in the garbage because the whole keeping up with the laundry thing can be very
stressful for a new mom. And it's like, I'm the kind of person, like all my baby list goes to is
like onesies and like stuffed animals. And I was like, I know there's like a lot more technical
stuff. And some of this stuff is so techie and expensive, but like, I would rather spend $300
on a gift for you of like the nursery monitor or the dresser. I don't know if you're just
$300 dressers on there. I was something like that. Then like go and spend $300 on onesies
that you're never even to put her in because they're itchy or there's too many snaps or it's
like the baby. Most of my friends' babies just run around in a diaper anyway. Cause they're like,
I'm too exhausted to dress this child right now. So, you know, thank God for you.
Well, I'm excited. So get ready, everybody. I wish it was like a public thing that I could
send our listeners to, but I'm not going to be that crazy. But so imagine I was like,
could you imagine what would happen? I could see Kalti doing it.
What would happen? I'd get everything my dreams. I mean, there's a wipe warmer on there that I'm
like really jonesing for. Anyways, have you seen on TikTok or Instagram? There is now a thing at
Marshalls and TJ Maxx, there's a hanger system. So this woman was shopping for clothes for her kid
and she said, you go to all of the black hangers and then the fabric hangers and you zero in on
those because those are the more expensive, originally expensive items. Oh, really? I will
I will investigate immediately.
This is the hack.
Gotta go, guys.
This is the hack.
Gotta go.
She picked up, like, such cute stuff because they had good different hangers.
Wow, that's so smart.
I love this.
Okay, hold on.
I want to go back to what you were talking about at the beginning of the episode, which is I want to just pause for a second because Jack and I were talking about this, too.
Like, you kind of went into your petty party and then you, like, got yourself out of it because you're not allowed.
and I, because you don't want to get canceled by all the people that are like, well, you're so
lucky you even have a baby because I don't have my baby yet. Like I do want to just give you a
moment here on Lady Gang of grace where you can just full Becca. And cause I know you're like
acting strong at the NICU. You're acting strong in front of your family. You're acting strong in
front of Zach. You're acting so strong in front of Ford. Like I want to give you some space to
just be like, ugh, you know, like you're allowed, you wanted this baby so bad. Yes. Are we so
excited? Are we so happy? She's healthy in spite of everything going on. Yes. But you can still be
like, I had the idea that we, the baby would be born. We'd be taking her back to Austin. We'd be
in my house with my clothes and my favorite socks and my favorite sweat pant and my workout class
and my yard and the sippy cup that Ford likes and the truck he likes that we forgot. Like you're
allowed to relish in the fact that this is not ideal like when it's raining on your wedding day
you know what I mean and you're like I'm still happy I'm marrying the love of my life but could
we have not have had a hurricane today you know yeah so yeah it's okay Becca like you're okay
and I think that I really do only live in those moments like so temporarily and I saw something
recently. There's this guy I follow on Instagram. He's so smart. It's like he's a therapist,
psychologist, neuro, blah, blah, blah, whatever, all the things. And he did something about people
who catastrophize. So when you've been through a traumatic event that came unexpectedly,
then the whole rest of your life, you kind of catastrophize every single scenario. So I think
while it is so insane to be married to me someone like that it also serves me when things turn out
better than I was fearing that they might do you know what I mean and it's not a good thing that I
do this with everything in my life because it definitely does cloud a lot of the experiences
and not allow me to like live in the joy of the leading up to the thing but it certainly helps me
when there's a little bit of a hiccup or a little bit of a something and yeah like I could only
and I I don't know what this is I think that that's probably where this shifted for me where
I just have a a hard time sitting in it because my expectations have already been surpassed
like in a fucked up way yeah well it's like yeah the bar is on the ground so you're like
ground. If it's even an inch up, if the reality is an inch higher than you thought, it's like,
okay, winning. We'll call it a success. No, I love it. One thing I did want to say is that like,
you know, when I'm, when I'm thinking of you in this journey, Becca, and like even thinking about
Jack and some stuff she posted on Instagram this week, I was like, you know, the world,
hi Ford, the world, like, I love that you are becoming a mother now. Like you're going through
this at 40 and like I just can't imagine you I mean you probably would have handled it like a
champ but like the fact that you like people do this when they're 21 like and I was like drunk
on the streets of New York like same you're just your soul your ability to deal with the up and
downs of life literally get better over time don't you think for sure for sure for sure and I was
like I would not that like that part is an ad but I was literally just looking at this thinking about
this because, um, anyway, we have this partnership I want to tell you guys about. It's about with K
18, which Becca brought to us because of K the airwash. She invented, she invented airwash. Well,
she told us about airwash. Then Jack tried it. Then I tried it. And then we talked about it so
much. K 18 literally wrote us and they were like, Hey, we would love to like do a partnership with
you. And we were like, great. We love airwash. We'll talk about it all the time. But the thing
is, is that we're not even talking about airwash because they were in their lab creating the
greatest product of all time. It is called Future IQ. We have all just started using it. We are
going to do a full rundown for the next three months because it is a product that gets better
with time. Basically, it's like a little serum. I put it in my hair. You leave it in. I'm putting
it in my terrible sides that are thinning so much in perimenopause. And it starts reversing hair age
in three months. 19,000 more hairs. Think of how thick that pony is. 70% of people that used it in
their trials got fewer gray hairs, improved scalp barrier. And so it's called the K-18 Future IQ
Biomimetic Longevity Hair Serum. And so I was like thinking about, wait, what else gets better with
age? Shall I go? Wine, cheese, myself. The best foods. The best foods I feel like get better with
age. Pickles. Yes. Kimchi. Anything fermentable. I will say my antique hutch over here, my antique
table that I am sitting at right now, all of my antique furniture, so good with age. A little
patina. You know, there's a reason why when you go into Europe and you go into a bookstore that's
been around since the 1800s, why it has that special smell and soul. Books get better with age.
when you open my Nancy Drews from the 1950s,
it smells like knowledge and women empowerment.
Thank you, Nancy.
The old book smells the best.
Do you know what I mean?
An old book smell, it's just so delicious.
But I also think there's something beautiful
about friendships as you grow older.
I feel more confident, even though sometimes I spiral,
which we all do.
But like in general, I think I'm like vibing
at a higher level as I get older.
I also think like the ability just like
not care what people think like in your 20s you're so hounded by like what people think in your 30s
you still kind of are now i'm like bye hate me if you want i'm good you know peace out deuces so
you can hate me but i won't have gray hair and i'm not gonna have my little bald spots on the
side of my heads anymore i'm really excited to like give this full report so thank you so much
to k18 and i wanted to also let you know that you can shop at sephora get 10 off your first
purchase at k18hair.com with code LADYGANG. That is LADYGANG at k18hair.com. And while you're there,
pick up the air wash, okay? 10% off at Sephora. Oh, sorry. You can shop at Sephora, but if you
go to k18hair.com, you get 10% off of LADYGANG. Enjoy. I'm so excited.
The LADYGANG. I will tell something I questioned if I was going to share on the podcast, and I
actually will. So I'm worried about judgment from other people, but I'm just going to be honest
because this was my honest experience as a new mom. So that meltdown and the NICU at 1130 at
night was I had been there all day and the way that the NICU is set up, like the big, it's the
whole women's center, the building, right? So every floor is different, like labor and delivery,
recovery, NICU, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You check in downstairs in this atrium and it is
secure. Like there's bag check. You have to give your name and they give you the name tag, blah,
blah, blah. So it is hard to get in. However, when you get up to the NICU, there is a reception desk
that you have to give the name of the baby and show a wristband, all that jazz. But once you
get behind those doors, like if you get behind those doors, the babies are not behind. They're
not locked up. They're in these little like, they look like shower stalls almost, like with the
little shower curtain and they're whatever. So, and there's different rows and different days of
babies. There's a lot of babies. Northside is like one of the busiest hospitals to deliver
babies. And they're in the middle of the night at the night shift at that time in our bay at
least or our row. There weren't that many nurses working. It wasn't like bustling, right? I'm
leaving. It's 1130. I'm already exhausted. And I walk outside and there's two women checking in
at that desk trying to get into the NICU. One woman is clearly under the influence of something
more than alcohol or weed and looks like, like very heavy makeup, very heavy makeup, but then
like sweats and like shower slides. And then there's this other woman that she's with and
the woman that she's with looks, I mean, just like not totally with it and under the influence
of some substance. Right. So I'm like, well, I get to that. I like start eavesdropping a little bit.
And then I hear that it's one of this woman's babies is back in the NICU and they have to let
you back to see your own baby. Like there's no world that they can stop you from seeing your
baby. And she's telling the woman like, this is my friend. She just got off work, but she really
wants to see my baby the friend is like barely standing up her eyes are like shutting it's it's
a it's a scene right and the girl with the baby there had like marks all over the body that type
of it was very right this may not have been a mother coming from a supportive right ready family
like this is something has happened it's a mess okay yes so I see them get let back yeah they go
back because it's her baby you can't keep people of course you can't also be like you know whatever
but I had that like crazy mama bear feeling instinct where I was like okay this woman that
she brought back is clearly even the receptionist was like looking at her looking at me looking at
her looking at me and I think she didn't really know what to do and didn't want to get in trouble
for like assuming she's up whatever yeah so I was like I'm going to go sit with the baby for as long
as these women are here, because I know that I can't control every situation, but I can't think
about my baby being in a room or in a space where there are people back there that aren't necessarily
in the right state of mind in the most, you know, whatever mental health space and no judgment,
like literally no judgment. I just felt like, and then I was sitting there in the room with her in
the dark and I was just like crying. Cause I was like, I don't know who they let in all day long.
I can't possibly know. So this is like one time that I'm seeing that there are certain types of
people being let back here. And I feel like a dick saying this. I really do. But it's nothing
other than I just need everybody like sober. There are like 8 million cords attached to my kid.
There are things that can get knocked over. The floors are in tile. If a baby falls on the floor,
so I go to that catastrophizing place. Of course. I would too, by the way.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad that you would. And I think a lot of people would. I just was like, I, I hate so much that this baby is like so vulnerable in this position and I can't rescue her from everything right now.
Well, and it's also like, you know, the baby is at a hospital, which is supposed to be the
safest place that it could ever be. And you should obviously be able to trust the doctors
and nurses that are taking care of it when you're gone. So it's like having that feeling
that that's not the case. And then you have to leave. You can't be there 24-7. Like there has
to be times when you leave like that. I do not blame you for feeling that way. I think
most people would feel that exact same way. So don't judge yourself for that.
Yeah. Thank you.
Yeah, I think. And I also I mean, listen, you know, I can turn everything into me about me, but I've had a similar I had a similar situation where my brother was in the hospital and and it was legitimate crazy people coming in.
And like, I would go to visit him and I would see the new person coming into the psych ward who was in just such rough shape.
And, you know, they don't, they can't distinguish.
And like, you know, these, some people were, you know, just would be very bad influences on the healing of, of my brother.
And I remember being like, wait, there should be like another area for like the people that are existing at a three when we've already made it up to eight.
You know, and it wasn't because I like didn't want that family or those people to get better. But you are just in this like you're protective. You just want to wrap your thing in bubble wrap and you really are already so fragile that you you are like, oh, my God, we just need to go to a place where we're having 16 bottles.
Like that is what you're solely focused on. And any bump, smidge, loud noise that wakes her, like anything that could upset the healing process just becomes your enemy. And it doesn't make you a bad person, Becca. It just, it is what you're going through. You're at this extreme level and it, listen, like babies are born to all types of mothers and people in all sorts of in situations.
And like, this is an unfortunate situation. And I think that I, the way the receptionist was looking at you probably tells you a lot that you weren't like alone. It wasn't like you, you were the only person on the planet questioning if this was like a good move. Like clearly, you know, this is like an unfortunate thing. And I think you're a mom and you're on high alert. Your kid is sick in the NICU. Like this sucks. You know, I'm really sorry that happened. And I don't think you should feel guilt about it at all.
yeah I mean it's very easy to be like like I need my baby in a perfect little bubble because like
it's a perfect little family and blah blah blah like I know I have a lot of privilege in this
scenario but it's just I mean I don't even want someone with a runny nose around my kid right now
you know it's like a very very fragile situation and yeah yeah so that was a doozy and so I'm
working through some of that and trying not to like sleep at the hospital even though I can you
are you allowed to stay there overnight there's like recliners in the rooms and they will never
kick you out but the problem with this and if I didn't have Ford if this was my first baby you
better believe I'd be camping out in that room oh yeah but like we have to I need to be here like I
need to at least come home sleep a couple hours see Ford in the morning if I didn't get to put
him down the night before and I know that he's also like not that fragile and I can do but you
It's just everything. I had a dream last night that I left Ford on a ride at Disney World and
we forgot to get him. If that tells you where my head is at. And I've received so many
amazing DMs. I wish I could respond to all of them. They have been so incredible. Most of them
lady gang listeners who have had babies in the NICU and even moms who have had their second baby
and weren't in the NICU, but their first kid, you know, they felt so much guilt for their first
kid, all this stuff. Like it's beautiful the way that women show up for one another and just say
like, Hey, I've been there. Hey, I've been there. You're going to be good. Like, it's just nice to
have that extra little boost on days that you're just bummed. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think you're
doing great. You're so strong. How's Zach? Yeah. Zach is so, um, he's the mom, like
energetically, maternally, it is totally, if he could breastfeed our children until they're five,
Zach would be doing it. You know what I mean? He is, lives for this. This is his everything.
Not that it's not mine, but I have an easier time compartmentalizing and whatever.
and it's just really it's been super hard on Zach he's just and Ford's obsessed with Zach right now
so it's like Zach feels like he's being pulled in a million different directions and it's just
you know he's also in the midst of selling his mom's house buying the new house packing her up
like it's because his dad passed away and it's just this year for him is high highs and low lows
yeah yeah yeah we'll send him our love yeah give him a big hug and i know like all the lady gang
community we are just wrapping all of our love and i will tell you this it's not that i'm jealous
oh i could cry i just i'm feeling for you guys i really am like we just love you so much and i
i really am we are just you know we're we're just thinking of you and i'll tell you this though i
was jealous I gotta be honest I already have beef with Meyer because I know she's your favorite
no I beef with her and you know what I was gonna be nice but I'm bringing it up please do Becca
posts photos to her Instagram and I want to tell you something I have tried Jack and I have both
tried over the last decade to make you have a good time you know like we we took you on tour
we got you free shoes we got you nervous I got you some money you know like I got you I got you
some red carpet experiences. I did not realize that it was possible for you to smile with 14
teeth. Oh yeah. I've only seen a smile ever with Becca with six. And I looked at this photo on
your Instagram and your smile is Julia Roberts wide of looking at this baby girl. And I was like,
oh, Becca has never been truly happy around me in my entire life because I've never seen
those teeth. I didn't even know they existed. Well, I've never seen you slide out of a human
body. Okay. Kelty's like, but what about the cameras flashing on you? You know what? I will
try. No, it was the pictures you posted were so emotional, beautiful. And I was like, this is
true joy. This is true joy. You are, regardless of how hard this is, you are exactly where your
soul is meant to be. Like you are so right there. And it's such a beautiful thing. And I'm just,
I'm just joshing you, but we love you. Thank you. We love you so much. Can't wait to go spoil you
on your registry. Take as much time as you need. We'll be here holding down the fort. We had a
whole Warped Tour talk last week that you would not, you know. You would have wanted to miss it
anyways. You would have been like, who? I just would have had nothing to contribute. Yeah. And
so we are, you know, we're, we've got this and we're going to have some people fill in and we're
just you know give do not feel any pressure and we just love you so much ford's here hey ford you
want a lemon what kind of a lemon like to eat i'll see if phoebe has a lemon do you want to
say hi to the girls real quick eat a single lemon hi babe you want to see the girls
he always is so scared of us no he's me he went
you guys she put the camera on him and then he just ducked down he he's he's done he does that
every time you're like you want to come in he's like he clearly does not need the spotlight
anyway all right we love you we love you we love you love you our whole family check out my baby
list registry we love it so much okay bye bye lady gang is hosted and produced by kelty knight
becca tobin and jack vanek with social media support from collie carrera audio and video
editing from jared monaco and additional support from steve delameter and podcast one
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