LadyGang - Becca's Sister Jessica

Episode Date: May 1, 2017

Becca's big sis, Jessica, is a real-life Superwoman...doing it and having it all (though she might be too humble to agree)! She's a partner at her law firm, a mommy of two, and has traded spending on herself for spending on her best accessories - her two kiddies! She's giving it to you straight when it comes to balancing career and family, marriage, and "me time!" She's also sharing deets on growing up with Becca, and the beautiful speech she gave as Maid of Honor at Becca's wedding. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's your Lady Gang, Jack Vanek, Kelty Knight, and Becca Tobin. Thank you so much for subscribing on iTunes, and thanks for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you every single week for free. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang.

Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. hello hello hello hollywood's hottest girl posse i am the gg across from me is bella and i don't want to be bella i want to be kendall okay you can be kendall and you can be bella i don't want to be bella why bella is beautiful i don't know really i think she's pretty i mean she bought her face and it was a good purchase i would like to buy a new face i wouldn't be me too girl call me okay uh i'm becca tobin actress uh bella hadid enthusiast and blogger at the ladygang.com

across from me kelty knight and i love my sister kylie oh my god you're so you're an idiot she likes to role play and she is an entertainment journalist she's on every red carpet she interviews george clooney and julia roberts and all those cool people um to my right jack vanek clothing designer of jackvanek.com hey um and she used to be a myspace it girl yes i still am a myspace it girl is there myspace no no remember she told the story about how all her photos got taken down so they rebooted it and then it went away again yeah my fun fact for this week shoot is that i was a competitive gymnast what did you not know this can you can you do the tumbles i can still do back handsprings really what yeah because you're small no it's

because i'm gifted back handsprings i it's because i am gifted and i'm an athlete wow yeah i did competitive gymnastics and i like got medals i was i wore a long sleeve bedazzled leotard yes i did yeah i did you know that's what stunted your growth no it didn't it didn't or the fact that every one of my family's short they didn't do gymnastics i don't think it stunts your growth unless you're like an olympian and your boobie growth yeah your boobies don't grow okay well i think there's like that might also a million i like there's so much evidence against your theory i think their growth is stunted and their boobies are stunted because when they're in those years of that we're all normally going through puberty they're working out so hard and

they're like building up all this muscle and not eating enough do they delay their periods because yeah like none of the girls i did gymnastics with got their periods until there's not enough fat on you yeah no body fat i mean i'm similar now um okay what is your fun fact my fun fact is my first crush in life was the green power ranger you've used that before you're running out of fun facts about yourself because i never write them down i guess you're not fun i'm not fun that's her fun fact that she's not fun kelsey what's yours um my fun fact is that oh god am i fun no no i got this i got this i got this um i live two houses down from a skating rink and when i was roller skating no ice skating right now no like when i was a kid and when i

was in grade five i went on a skate date a skate date ice skating with darren from my jazz class okay would you like like jazz dancing yeah is darren a homosexual i don't know what darren does now but he had a white club monaco t-shirt that he wore in jazz class and on our skate date and i thought it was pretty did you check the label or did it say club monaco across i'm sure it said club monaco across wow darren hey i bet darren dates boys anyway that's all i got i like skate dates okay uh it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no i'm gonna start yep do it yep okay um bad week very simple i get bikini waxes i don't look forward to them they're not fun and it's taken me years and years and years to find like the place that's convenient as well as the

wax that's good and the waxer that you vibe with my waxer left oh no yeah what do you do now get lasered i'm so angry i am so upset she didn't leave a note she didn't call wait she didn't tell you she was she didn't even tell me where they went did she give up waxing did your vagina make her quit her job maybe maybe she might have moved to a nearby place it's so upsetting like a forward like i know also find me at one time like i felt like we were so close that she even like i guess every month they get a free wax that they can give away she hooked me up with the free wax that's nice she's like i'm gonna let you use my free wax this month like we were friends she's gone apparently not you gotta find a new waxer it's upsetting that is upsetting it is

awkward like when someone sees your vag for the first time like it's nice to i just like she was fast she was easy like she had we like i like when people talk to me during a while i need to be distracted yeah yeah and sometimes i just i yeah okay so that was my bad week it's pretty bad my good week is that i have one of the many benefits of being married do you want to hear about it lower taxes nope oh bomb ass health insurance i am officially an adult because i got seriously psyched to find out because we compared because through the um screen actors guild i can also get a pretty pretty good insurance expensive it's it's like for me it's not bad for me it's not bad um and then it but and it's good and like the coverage is good whatever but my husband works in

the medical field and it is bomb like i'm pretty sure i could get a nose job covered no um my husband's uh health insurance covers if you want to transition from woman to man the whole thing incredible isn't that incredible yeah covers any of that and it also covers ivf okay that's good amazing i need to check on the ivf that should that that should be something that angers me that it's not it covered across the board don't even get me freaking started okay um all right that was mine how wasn't that nice and brief it was brief i'm brief okay i'll go um so for my good week i'm just gonna shout out our facebook group because it is the shit and we have almost i love them 8 000 members and we have so many like off groups yeah it's crazy yeah like like lady gang

mommies and lady gang weddings and fitness and there's a politics group and the bachelor group barf what i'm not in the bachelor group are you oh my god add me guys there's like workout groups there's all these different groups but my favorite group is is a secret spy group that a couple of the girls from the lady gang started and all they do is number one they're petty as hell and it's amazing and they just like take like different drama that's happening from all these different groups and just analyze it and talk shit and it's amazing oh my gosh sounds right up our i thought when you said spy i thought it's the type of thing where if someone has like a private instagram account and you're like i would need to see them i need to follow them oh they would

do they'd be the person to like yeah okay so they can like go and like do some recon yeah because there's been like a couple couple instances in our facebook group where like shit's gone awry yeah and these girls have like gone how many are they investigated there's like 20 girls oh my god and so i'm in it and they and i never post anything but i'll like like different comments so they know that i'm lurking oh i love the lady gang group i love it like brightens my life when i go on the facebook everyone's amazing everyone's amazing and if you're not um in our facebook group what you do is you go to facebook and then you search the lady gang lady gang all one word and then it'll come up group and it'll say closed group and then you

click on closed group and then we will maybe admit you and unfortunately i know we have guy listeners and we love love love our guy listeners but i'm sorry it's a place for women we talk about vaginas and sex and we had to kick out some guys we had to kick out some we're so we're sorry all the guys there are some guys in there well to be more specific if you're a heterosexual male you're out you're out and we're really sorry that we're discriminating we're probably gonna get a lawsuit against us and like i'm very sorry we're being sexist we are but we're talking about like personal you know issues that girls don't want to like you know they don't feel comfortable you know whatever yeah okay so it's the best group ever so you're not in it bye um so my bad week

is i never realized how much i love tsa pre-check oh it's amazing until it just doesn't show up on my boarding pass that's my biggest fear so the other day i was flying and i was like running late and i'm like running through trying to go through security and i like go to go through the pre-check line and the lady's like nope go through the regular line no so i'm like oh god and i'm like to go back and like get it there's like so many people on the line and i was also flying southwest which is like a nightmare so i'm like waiting through the line the normal commoners line at lax which is a nightmare people like aren't even in line they're like sitting on the ground their shoes are off like it's gross it's like skid row it really is people have tents so i'm

like going through and the lady in front of me is going so damn slow i can't so slow it's making me and i'm like oh my god come on lady like i'm late whatever and then she goes like put her bag through and sort of like leans over and then turns to me and then throws up what on the ground at my feet no and it touched my toes that's why you should not be flying with an open-toed shoe just on the offshoot chance that somebody throws 100 you need full feet coverage you do i actually have a rule first of all i don't want to like that's disgusting but like i do have a rule i don't want to see your toes or your armpits at an airport or on an airplane there's not wear a tank top don't want to see your toes there's also that curve episode where like larry flies with a guy

and he's wearing shorts and he's like i don't want to look at your legs i wore shorts once and it was a major mistake it's disgusting because then you're you stick to the seat that's sticky and you don't know what's sticky from is it poop and like we've all left the snail trail on a seat before have we all and they don't really clean those seats no i clean mine you can only imagine how much discharge is on your thighs oh yeah anyway i'm sorry that's disgusting yeah it was so yeah um first of all i'm gonna start with my good week so i was having a conversation with my mother who if you can imagine is a lot like me as a mom and we had like a 45 minute conversation about why rules are important and why they cannot be broken ever and it was like pretty much the

highlight of my year because i always felt like where did i get this weird need for rules and why am i so crazy and then when canadians love rules when i talked to her i was like oh my god we're the same and you're right like when there's a stop sign you should stop and like when it's your turn your boarding group you should board and like i agree with that one don't steal things and like i just it made me so happy so thanks mom even though i told you as a rule do not listen to this podcast so if you're listening to this you're breaking a rule this is the first time you've realized you're like your mom no i knew i was like my mom in a lot of ways but like that was just having like someone pat me on the back and be like you're you've been right all along rules

are important it felt defining okay um here's my bad week so my husband chris gets a facebook or instant mess or instagram message i can't remember what because i was so shocked from an old girlfriend and i have now been reminded that you dated people before me which is already revolting um and she has cross-sectioned a photo of me and her and sent it to him and said oh my god you really must have a type are we the same or what and this girl was a hideous beast can i see the pic no i didn't save it oh i threw up on your toes what's her name i have no idea i don't want to know and i don't care and also tell you or did you find no he showed it to me he was like look at this and i was like what she's also a psycho who the hell does that i guess he

does have something in common because you would totally do that i would not do that you made i you put a picture of jack and yourself together and sent it to voldemort i bet you did and never oh my god that's crazy i think it's really like your age here's the thing chris was like a seven and then i fixed him up to a 10 and now all those bitches want back at him because he's successful and he dresses well and he's a nice guy and they see him like and he's tall he's tall and he's sexy and he's just he's a total catch but when i met him he was like a little bit of a bad nerd and I'm like, I have fixed him up into the stud muffin he is, and now all these ladies are coming out of the woodwork like, ooh, I see them on instant, really missed out.

Yeah, you did, and he's mine. So get the hell away from mop, mop. Ooh. Mop. Zing. What's coming, Kelty? Coming up, we have a guest who's going to talk about weddings. I'm so excited.

Okay, what's going on? Now, here's the Lady Gang. Here's what's going on. Our guest today is cut from Lady Gang DNA. She's Becca's uber-successful sister, who's also a mommy of two babies, and an attorney who just made partner at her firm. So basically, she leads a life that we all know nothing about. Please welcome to the Lady Gang, Becca's older, awesome, sissy, Jessica.

Hi, Jessica. Okay, so... What's it like to have a real job? I'm just kidding. Seriously. Please tell us. Much, much more glamorous. It was way more glamorous than what we do.

i want to begin by asking let's let's hear it what's it like she's choking what was it like growing up with becca tobin as a sissy give us the scoop what was it like um it's like having that friend that you wish you had that would always tell you the truth but never actually does she tells the truth all the time so it's great it's like having a really honest mirror so it's been from birth then yes from birth like do i look fat in this yes you look very fat in this now we got to meet because we spent time when becca got married i want to know what your favorite moment of the wedding was my favorite moment um i mean other than the obvious like their personal vows um probably when we all got snowed in and stuck at the wedding

um at first everyone's like oh this is terrible but it ended up being so much fun yeah because the stress of the wedding and you know all of the the hype everyone had sort of relaxed and we were just like snowed in in this wonderful hotel with like board games and fireplaces it was just it was ideal yeah it was just that was probably my favorite part well want to hear one of my highlights from the wedding yeah and you don't know this but my sister was the maid of honor the only maid at all i mean other than your bridesmaid other than us the best friends ever the only maid and she um wrote a speech for my rehearsal dinner and i felt like at that moment i was like this is the only time in my whole life that i have to i can like make jessica talk about

how awesome i am but guess what this is the second time in my life and remember when you emailed me your speech to like have and to hold. I already regret it. I have it. I'm not going to make you read the whole thing. When you get to the Zach part you can just skip that. So just like the first part

where you talk about me being amazing. I feel like the world needs to hear this. Yeah, we do. Here it is. Of course we do. And we were traveling so we weren't at the rehearsal there so we never heard it. Yeah. So this is like we're hearing it for the first time. Here we go. And I hate

public speaking and i thought i was only gonna have to do this once nope here you go second time take two and i'm actually gonna talk about that hatred yes um despite my chosen profession i've never been one for public speaking mostly because i didn't have to be becca has always been my voice and my advocate starting at age three when i was seven she would go to the counter at fast food restaurants and ask for ketchup because i was too afraid to do it myself although she's almost four years younger she's been a big sister to me in many ways she's my best friend my personal stylist nutritionist life coach marriage therapist and my cheerleader i would be lost without her as evidenced by my average of three phone calls per day that will continue without interruption

until she answers if you could figure out how to answer your phone during your podcast or barry's boot camp class that would be great amazing i'm not sure how i got so lucky to have you but i'll take it i even feel lucky when you're sharing the most embarrassing details of my life with the free world on your podcast yes yes yes i'm talking about the bunch of grapes hemorrhoids you're the strongest and hardest working person i know despite the other day when you only got out of bed to use the bathroom the entire day but we'll blame that one on the residual dengue fever you've accomplished and overcome more than most people will in a lifetime and i'm all i am and

always have been so proud of you i'm excited to be a part of your life with zach and make more memories together guys that's so nice amazing how did you find so many nice things to say about you yeah did you have to really stir it up for like many years to get ready i dug really really deep that's why you had to go to like childhood yes you're like let me go back to three because 13 was not a great year or you were an asshole was there such a time there was never a time but yes thank you for that because you know who gets to hear those speeches more than once in their life and also like the thousands and millions of people listening and now this will be recorded forever forever now you don't have to ever do it again it is really nice and i also like

i'm just gonna say this i mean i wasn't there for that speech but you made it about her like how many times have you had a maid of honor that's like do you remember when we went to cuba you're like i don't know what the freaking time when i did this yeah you guys i was at a wedding recently and the one of the bridesmaids got so bombed so bombed oh no she got up on stage and was so crazy and rambling and it went on and on and on and she's like to the groom let's say his name is john john i'm giving you a piece of me and she rips out her heart like motions ripping and throwing it to him across the dance floor so many things it was so amazing i love that wasn't that amazing i'm giving you a piece of me yeah was she crying crying oh my god crying oh get over it

it's incredible now back to the lady gang um okay jessica so a lot of people i we went on the secret facebook group and i said listen we're having a super successful young professional mother on the show none of these hollywood types know anything about this no but you're actually pretty relatable probably to the ladies who listen to us because you have a real job and you got babies so i have some questions that they sent in that i want to ask you and i want you to be really honest okay okay um are you peeing your pants all the time now that you've had children not anymore when does it go away it does if you're lucky it goes away but there is a period of time where right remember when you used to laugh and fart no i don't remember that or was it like queefing

like you couldn't control she couldn't control her happening down there you couldn't control your whole so gross you felt completely out of control okay wow um yeah you got it back you can control it yeah you can control it okay now when you're not a celebrity and you're not going to be like on the cover of us weekly body after baby six weeks like what really happens how long does it take for body to come back like that stomach i'll let you know like it's hard right it's hard like our mom who's like all big on like research says yeah she always said it takes two years for everything to go back to where it started which is kind of true like it doesn't ever go back to exactly where it was before but like i think eventually your hips and your ribs

and everything goes back to close to where it was but it takes it took me a full two years and so like it's not just the weight you gain right like your actual muscle skeleton like expands right so even if you lost the weight you're still wearing a size jean bigger is that what exactly yes i mean unless you're a freak unless you're in hollywood i don't know unless you're in hollywood and even then like i guess maybe you're compressing your hips and your ribs together do you are your ribs do they stay out for a while a little bit yeah i mean your organs are in weird places right for a long time so i mean it's not gonna happen overnight um social media has sort of ruined that for people like me because you look and you're like everyone else looks so great two days after they push out

a baby these instagram models are looking awesome the worst the worst but unless you're like starving yourself when you're pregnant and working out every day like it's gonna take a long time were you ready a lot of people a lot of our girls wrote I've been with my guy my career is good but I just don't feel ready do you ever feel ready you never feel ready um and I've had a lot of girlfriends that ask me like how do you know when you're ready like you you sort of know like oh I think I could have a baby but this is not the right time you know I still have so much more i want to do like you just have to do it and we're programmed to like once it happens you're okay with it you're great with it but i think if you wait till like feeling the right moment

you're never gonna do it do you ever regret it never never never there's never a time you're like i would like to just sleep till noon oh i mean every day i wish i could sleep till noon but if that meant not having the children yeah you wouldn't you wouldn't change it for the world no i wouldn't and everyone like says that it's so cliche but it's so true it's true she's not bullshitting because there's times when i've been with her children and because they're not mine i'll be like your kid is being a dick right now how are you dealing with him and she's like i just i don't i don't ever see him like that obviously she's aware when her kid's being a dick but like i at that point i'm like can we take him back to wherever you bought him and instead she has like

all the patience in the world to like discipline him and make sure he doesn't turn into a big a-hole when he's an adult i mean there are no guarantees there but um how expensive are kids really it depends they're if they're more expensive if you work because the most expensive part about having kids when they're little is daycare and nannies and taking care of them while you're out making money um it's as expensive as you want it to be if you want them wearing like designer baby clothes and having the best baby bag and you want great you know the high end diapers and products and strollers um then they're really really expensive, but they don't have to be. I will say that your money that used to go towards

like your clothes and your things is now just basically going to the kids. It's like, they're like my best accessory. Like instead of buying shoes, I just dress them really cute. No one looks at me. They look at them. Yeah. So you're not really spending extra. Yeah. So then it doesn't matter if I have baby weight either. Cause no one's looking. I love that. Um, what has to give? because my dad always said to me baby girl you can have it all you just can't have it all at the same time but here you are you have a very successful career just made partner obviously that's a lot of work hours and then you have kids but like what are you sucking at like something has to get a lot right yeah i mean your dad's absolutely right and i always say that like you

out you can't have it all um and everything has to give a little bit and you just sort of you have to reprioritize and decide like i don't have a limited amount of time a limited amount of energy like where am i going to allocate this so that it's like benefits me the most and keeps me you know going and keeps me happy and for everyone that's different for some people it's like oh i want to keep traveling and i want to keep you know doing you know xyz but it's it your priorities just sort of come into better focus um and you do everything like okay-ish but you never feel like you're doing anything great i mean i think that's true like whether you're like a mom or not you're i mean it's very rare that you have moments in your life where

you're like i'm just i don't know i have days where like career-wise i can go to bed and i be like i am crushing it and like i'm a great wife today and i was a great like businesswoman today but i do know that as soon as kids get in there it's like not gonna be like that like i will go back to okay i will go to sleep at night being like i could have done something else better there's only so many hours in a day though yeah you will have days where you're like i killed it at work today and my kids are dirty and unfed and yeah so you never have those moments where you're like as soon as i have that moment and i think it something goes something goes wrong so i don't even put it out into the universe pop darts for dinner kids okay um we got this

question in many different ways and we're gonna do this one before we move on to ask the lady gang but a lot of people said you know how do you shut down family members grandmas grandpas moms dads whatever in-laws who want to tell you how to raise your child or break the rules of like you say they can't have this thing and then grandma and grandpa are like cheetos for everyone how do you handle this um you have to pick your battles like if it's really important for you to feed your kids healthy and that's your thing and the grandparents give them cheetos then you have to decide like this might be where you go to battle but for me like something like that's not a priority so i'm gonna say okay feed them cheetos i'm just gonna like roll my eyes and let it go and then other

things i might say okay this is this is the thing that i'm gonna have to say something about but you pick your battles um and then it sort of depends on your personality like i'm pretty passive aggressive i think so you can tell me things and give me advice but ultimately i'm gonna do what i was going to do to begin with but i will listen to your opinion and i will respect it but i'm not necessarily going to do it i think the battles that you pick just from watching is like it's like cautionary and safety like some people will will put a kid in a taxi cab without its car seat because it's just like you can't there's so many things when you're traveling with a kid and you're like what's one ride like she's the person who if you ever put

her child in a car not correctly in the car seat she will throw herself in front of that car to make sure it doesn't move so like well yeah but then it's like you're very laid back with the things that like in your mind just don't matter and and in the grand scheme of things like i think that that's the smartest thing to really care about is like your kid not dying yeah yeah so it's like logical i mean my kids have had chick-fil-a for dinner the last three nights but they've been strapped into car seats perfectly there is so many parents out there that'll be like oh my god gluten-free vegan this this this and then they're like oh i don't care where my kid is yeah yeah don't wear shoes yeah on the streets of new york that's just a heroin needle you're fine

exactly or like don't care about their school work or anything like that it's like yeah you're probably just realistic of what you care about yeah just don't die be as healthy as you can be yeah you just have to pick your battles yeah you do you okay when we come back our real life superwoman, I'll mention it again, partner at a law firm, mother of two children, cute haircut, will help you figure out your life. Crushing it. Hey ladies, get funky. Ask the Lady Gang.

And we're back. Before we start, ask the Lady Gang. If you guys want 20% off of jackvanek.com, use code LADYGANG. And you've listened to this before, so you know what the deal is. Yes. You're probably our most successful person that we've had on the podcast in life. I mean, there was that time with Ryan Murphy, but it's a different kind of success. This is like real life success.

Jessica's like the smartest human. You're not a fraud. Everybody feels like a fraud. Jessica is the smartest person. I mean, can you imagine my parents had this like perfect child with straight A's and then I came along? Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I am pretty perfect. See, told you. Okay. Our first question comes from Miranda. Miranda says, how do you handle when your guys go to strip clubs?

I'm getting married and I know my fiance's friends will have strippers at his party. I want to be the cool girl and act like it doesn't bug me, but it does. How do you put your foot down while being calm-ish and without being a controlling bitch? I want him to be able to tell me things without having to filter anything. I'm going to tell you a story. A friend of a friend at his bachelor party, went to the strip club with his guys for a fun, no-nonsense night, cheated on his wife he was going to marry the next weekend, and ended up not getting married to her and dating the stripper for like a year.

Wait, this is so... Do not send your men to the strip club. Good night. Your husband told me this story. But here's what I'm going to say, and I'm going to play devil's advocate. there are men that you can just look at and know even though you're married i you can i can see you running off with a stripper you know you know you know like like zach for example like he'll go with his guy friends but like he can barely make eye contact with me like i don't think he's at a strip

club being like yeah jump on this honey like i'd be like you're that who is that person you know know what i mean so i feel like you kind of know yeah well there's two types of guys it's like a guy you're gonna trust at a strip club and a guy that you're not gonna marry the guy you would trust at a strip yeah i think that this girl doesn't seem to like not trust him i think it's just the idea of the strip club makes her feel like unnerving the idea of a strip club made me very uncomfortable if you guys remember i talked about this on the podcast and i had a fight with my husband about him going and then i went to one and i was like i'm not not uncomfortable anymore because it's gross it's fine the girl's vagina i could smell from my seat there's nothing

appetizing about it like i could smell the like dank vag at my seat it was disgusting what do you think i mean i think you sort of have to trust them enough to like make adult decisions and if you have reservations to begin with then like maybe you need to be questioning why you have reservations there's a deeper issue yeah yeah i mean i've never i mean my husband's not like a big strip club guy but he certainly has occasions where his friends are going for a bachelor party or one reason or another and like i genuinely believe that like if he had his choice it would be to go somewhere other than the strip club but he's going to go along with it because yeah that's what his friends are doing right so you sort of have to know yeah know what you know

okay our second question comes from faye she says my boss is for the lack of a better word a dick he talks down to me constantly and makes me feel like an idiot despite me trying my best to impress him i work in the media industry and i'm working towards a career so i can be a girl boss but he is making it so difficult and i just want to give up have you got any advice on dealing with a difficult boss he is the worst and i need some girl power advice that's a tough one i mean go on on one hand it's like it's sort of part of making your way through your career um so as long as he's not like disrespecting you or belittling you if it's just like he's just a dick sometimes putting up with that is what's going to make you like achieve more and learn more and you

learn how to deal with different personalities which is really going to benefit you in the long run so i think you really have to assess like what it's doing to you personally and decide whether it's something you can withstand yeah if jessica were a hollywood actress her answer would have been if it doesn't make you happy you should just leave and just leave and get another job if he's making you unhappy life is short like don't care about the money it'll come that was a really good answer not what i expected because it's not usually what we hear no yeah i think that it's like suck it up and deal with it that's why to some extent is he an asshole to everybody if he is probably who cares don't take it personally it's just a dick there are certain

people that are notorious for being assholes and like if you've worked for that person like it gives you a talking point and interviews people like oh you worked with yeah whoa how'd you survive you're like i'm barely um i think i always say people they get to that certain level of power they don't do it by like making everyone feel incredible they do it by being hard because the people that are like hard tend to get what they want and we've talked about this a lot like the nice delicate flowers of the world we get trampled on and so i think you have to respect that learn from it and journal your feelings yeah write letters to your asshole boss that no one will ever see get it out of your system don't find a way to release it whether it be therapy

or talking to your mom or talking to your sister or whatever it is don't hold it inside but honestly if there's the grass is never greener there is an asshole at the top of every company yeah and except the lady gang yeah i'm definitely the asshole well you're right you're right some of our interns in the future are going to be like kelty's a slave driver you're not mean you're just like a hard anal is all hell yeah it's time to do our jobs yeah that we don't get paid for it's time to do our internship now um i've got to say yeah like at any company you're going to run into like difficult people and you have to take it as like a learning experience and like how you're going to deal with things and yeah don't take it personally because he's probably

just a dick yeah and don't stay too long if you're you don't want to be perpetually unhappy but yeah get what you can out of the company in a position right you're not going to be there also when i was younger like in my early 20s when i had experiences with with you know people above me authority that were like that i felt like they were dicks it was really kind of like yes they were were sort of hard and tough and whatever but i was also very insecure so i read into things as being personal attacks on me and how terrible and how condescending but like in hindsight i was just so insecure that no matter what they said to me i was going to turn it into me not being adequate enough for them so it's like just get a little confidence and like if he's a dick

he's a dick yeah yep okay our last question comes from morgan uh morgan says i've been dating my current boyfriend for the past two years he's a great guy and super good to me but he does come with his flaws like everybody i feel like he is a little too controlling and wants me to be someone i'm not for example i'm a young college girl who wants to go out and party but i feel judged by him if i do i keep thinking about breaking up with him and experiencing being single but i get scared as he has some sort i get scared as he has sort of become part of my identity what should i do so i don't look back and resent these years of my life oh god run yeah here's the op here's what you can do yeah you have to sit down with yourself and be like what are things that i want to be allowed to

do and i think are completely acceptable in a relationship you have to start doing them and you have to say to him i am doing this and you either have to be okay with it or we have to reevaluate the relationship you kind of have to break them because if you keep saying like oh i really want to go to this bar with my girlfriends tonight and then like you see the disappointed look on his face and know that you're gonna have to kind of deal with that so instead of having fun you stay back with him like that's a lifetime of of holding back on having fun and like giving up who you are so you have to be like this is who i am this is what i'm gonna do i will never disrespect you but i need this or i'm gone and if this is happening i know they've been dating

two years but she's obviously young like if this is happening this early in your life in your relationship yes you will resent him yes he'll probably resent you and it probably won't end up working out in the end anyways if it keeps going the way that it's going have you seen that movie room like i feel like at some point he's gonna lock you in a ship yeah so like just please be careful you've never been with someone possessive i haven't and it wouldn't work very well no um but yeah to the extent that you're concerned because your identity is tied up in him like that that's gonna be true of any relationship you just have to break it find your individual identity again yeah and you'll be just fine and it might be like let's take a break buddy

it might be boy bye boy bye um okay well jessica do you want us to follow you on instagram you just want to pretend this never happened private cool but yes please then i will have 217 followers get it girl god i feel so famous right now and i do want to mention becca are you friends with me because i remind you of your sister because p.s we have the same haircut we're wearing the same sweater you guys actually we're legitimately twins right now you guys actually do remind me of each other there are moments there are moments yeah i'm glad you didn't point out what most people say when they meet us what oh my god you guys look so much alike except she has great cheekbones my whole life what she's got like these really good cheekbones

and i just they're just they're hidden under the the baby fat check again at my two-year mark he'll be there like how rude that is rude guys make sure you check out our site the lady gang

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