LadyGang - Call In Show #1

Episode Date: July 3, 2017

You call and the LadyGang picks up the phone! The ladies host their first ever call in show, looking to answer your questions--or listen to your prank calls. Actually, they're looking forward to See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's your lady gang, Jack Vanek, Kelty Knight, and Becca Tobin. Thank you so much for subscribing on iTunes and thanks for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you every single week for free. Hi, I'm Barbara, aka your nursing educator on Instagram. I'm a registered nurse and I make content that's all about helping nursing students thrive. One of the first and easiest things I tell nursing students, if you haven't already done so upgrade your scrubs to figs out with these stiff boxy scrubs in with the ridiculously comfy well-designed figs that were specifically designed with us in mind they're super soft lightweight and breathable with four-way stretch and moisture wicking fabric that keeps up

during long shifts pockets are exactly where you need them the fit feels modern and tailored and they hold their shape wash after wash whether you're in class at clinical or working the floor you deserve scrubs that work as hard as you do go to wherefigs.com and use code figs ca for 15 off your first order that's wherefigs.com code figs ca well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to The Lady Gang. I am Becca Tobin, actress and blogger.

Across from me is Kelty Knight, entertainment journalist. Well, hello there. Oh, you're welcome. She's working on her voices. To my right is Jack Vanek, clothing designer and CEO of Jack Vanek Clothing. So. How are you guys? Pretty good.

So excited for this episode. So, I don't have a question of the week. I have a proposal of the week. Ooh. I'm scared. Why is there a giant water bottle? Okay. I know.

So I put a giant jug in the middle of the table because when I'm listening to the podcast, to all podcasts, not just ours, people use the word like so much. Did you bring this from home? No, I scrounged around and I asked Heather. It's the like jar. And we are going to have to put in probably pennies because we'll be poor if it's more than that. But I really want to try.

And can everybody hold us accountable? yes oh my god somebody should count how many times we say it well the problem is that with this episode since we had to do the colin show we were nervous we were nervous and so what you guys hear coming up we hadn't had the leg jar yet yeah so notice in this next portion how much how much money we should have paid yeah yes and let us know so there you go i hope you get some tape and tape that i'm going to i didn't want i wanted to reveal it i didn't want you to figure Are you going to leave that at podcast one for all the podcasts? No, I think just ours.

We only want to improve ours. You're right. Okay. We need some pennies. On that note, it's time for Good Week. Yes, it is. Bad Week. Oh, no.

Who wants to start? I'll start. Ooh, Jack. Okay. My Good Week. We're on Sex with Emily's podcast a couple weeks ago. Yes. And every time we're on, she always gives us some goodies.

Yes. and they're always amazing and there's like a lube that i put on my lips accidentally once and then another lube that i accidentally put into my soda stream but anyways she gave us this amazing what is it a vibrator it's a vibrator vibrator called the womanizer it's advanced and this is not an ad but i wish it would be because it's the best thing i've ever used in my entire life how does it work so it has like air suction it's like a suction and you put it on your clit it vibrates and it sucks it simulates oral yeah and so i would always say to people there that have a hard time like giving themselves an orgasm i'm like use a magic wand because those if you

don't orgasm from that you're screwed but you're dead but you're literally a corpse but the womanizer is like the it's the best thing i've ever done it's great it's amazing i highly recommend it to everybody so i haven't used mine yet you gotta use it i went away on a work trip and i left it under chris's pillow as like a fun thing for when we got back but we haven't seen each other yet so i feel like it might be hard for somebody to use on you because it's so specific we didn't like hold it right you get it together did he hold it for you we did both but it worked better if i held it because it's like very spot yeah it's like you have to get exactly there's a light that comes out of it that just points in your clitoris that you can hold it on it's so weird i hope my mother-in-law

was listening yeah amazing yay for our vagina yeah everybody should get my dad ew gross i just realized he listens to everyone sorry dad hey dad third love bro it's okay dad i found mom's back massager many times growing up what's your bad week amazing um okay so my bad week uh like everybody knows i live on the west side in venice i'm gonna say it every episode um and every west cider has a bike so i got this amazing bike from this company called soleil they're like 500 bikes they're awesome and i had it um locked onto my gate and somebody freaking stole it how how bad was your lock my lock is somehow still on the gate i don't know how they take the bike apart oh you have to put it through every west cider knows that bikes get stolen all you have to keep

it in your house i know my freaking apartment's so small but anyways west side sounds awesome then the next day my friend's friend also got a bike stolen so they're walking down skid rose which is like the skid row yeah yeah venice and they saw a freaking homeless lady with my bike because it was pink or something it's a very specific bike did you see that picture no she's toting around all of her homeless stuff on my 500 bike and then i went back to try to find it and she was gone we had a friend that this exact same thing happened he also lived on the west side shocker they found his bike and they got it back from the person but see do i want my bike back now that like a homeless badge on your bike disgusting well you could disinfect and power

wash i'd have to get a new seat now you have to get a new seat she's like change the handlebars and shit too i'm like girl you're just making this bike yours damn maybe because they had to like leave the handlebars behind behind somewhere they weren't left behind oh nothing was damn I'm sorry, girl. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm bike-less. I'm sorry about your life. Let's talk to you.

What about you? Ooh, okay. So the saga of my missing light bulbs at my house. Oh, I don't know what this is going to be. So I've talked about how I have two motion detector security lights on my house and I put new light bulbs in them like every day and every day I come out of the garage and the light bulbs are stolen. And I was thinking at first that they were stealing the light bulbs so that it remained

dark during by our gate so they could get through the gate and have sex by the garbage disposal specific thing to think right no but i know that i know for a fact that people hop the fence and they go behind the houses and have sex like that is we find the condoms and like that and stuff it's disgusting the fact that they're using condoms is so responsible yeah but yeah seriously my mind is blown right now save sex by the dumpster um so anyway then one of our lady gang members in the lady gang secret group they tipped me off that they're not actually stealing probably the light bulbs to get it dark they're stealing them to smoke meth i didn't know you smoked meth out of a light bulb i don't i didn't either but that was a very good thing

she pointed out i was like oh did you know that becca certainly not okay so that's fascinating so it's fascinating so that's why still my bad week the light bulbs are getting stolen but now at least i know the reason it's still my bad week i have a major problem with the people in the area um here's my good week i thought of a new awesome saying yes i think the lady gang i have really brought a lot of awesome sayings into our lives and so here's my new one oh that's not it there's more i don't know why that was so funny okay i'm just saying it like with i'm saying it with flavor like feeling like oh it's a cruel edit okay so no you hate it so i'm not sold so in life someone wears a dress and you think okay have you ever had a friend get married and their

wedding dress is so ugly and you want to say her wedding dress is ugly you just say oh she got a cruel edit i don't really get that it reminds me of like how like somebody gets a bad edit on the bachelor and also kelty always uses it in the wrong context remember when she was trying to describe what sexico was we're like no all of them becca your dad listening to this podcast this week got a cruel edit i don't that doesn't make sense like a cruel version no like a cruel edit like a bad case of luck a cruel edit jack your bike getting stolen oof cruel edit i don't like that i don't even hear that i made it up obviously you got a cruel edit okay okay we're not using it i'm about to rock your world that was my good week i just want to like clear that

up for a second that was my good week everyone get on the board and the bad week was the meth light bulbs right okay see your your past assault did have past assault i like that it's gone it's had had good reviews it happened past assault happened rebecca okay while we're talking about like sayings and things and blah blah blah cruel edit cruel edit well i was watching the real housewives of new york city which is so good this season oh did someone get a cruel edit see you could get a cruel edit on that show that makes sense because the way they edit it bad luck like or like your boyfriend cheated on you oh girl cruel no no but that's actually getting a cruel edit because they're editing the show oh lord jack yes we know they edit

television shows are you kidding okay remember when someone told us that we needed to speed up yes sorry this may be what they're talking about um okay so uh dorinda said something a quote that i love she said money talks wealth whispers oh my god yes i wish i was wealthy i was gonna say i can't wait until we're real rich yeah real rich and then it's like you don't even talk about it again money talks but wealth it's like people in la and they're souped up cars and they're like maseratis if you drive a maserati like just check your penis it's small um check for it because you can't find it tiny um all those people out there it's so annoying it's so ostentatious and what is the point but that's why i love this yeah money talks wealth whispers because you read about all

these truly wealthy people they live in modest homes they drive a prius exactly yeah yeah i love Warren Buffett lives in the same house he's lived in for, I think, like 40 years. I just said like, so where's the fucking penny? I'm sure we've all said it. We've done it. I still can't say the F word, so. Should I have not pointed that out? The like?

No, I like it. But that was a describing word. Yeah, you're right. I can use it. That's an adjective. Adjective. Okay. So that Money Talks Wealth Whispers, we have to remember this for the rest of our lives

when we're rich. We're already famous, but when we're rich. So famous. Okay, here's my bad week. we're so famous here's my bad week and this is downer okay oh after all my vagina things that i've been going through the leap situation like the procedure where they basically scrape out your cervix i'm fine i'm not dying anybody unfortunately for those of you who hate me which is everyone however i am gonna say that i've recently talking to a bunch of girls and

getting information there is such a large amount percentage of women who do not get their annual pap smears this is a public service announcement i think it's very important yeah if you are not going every single year to get your vagina swabbed i don't care who you are and if you've only been fingered in your life go figure it out that's how you die of cancer i'm scaring you straight no and it's also yeah go some doctors now they're saying that you can tell that they can tell their patients that they can wait every two years do not do that it grows like wildfire and by it i mean hpv girls heather our producers eyes are so wide because we've never known becca to care about anything before i really do care because she almost died well and then my sister i didn't

almost die but if i had gone longer yes i mean dramatically yeah yeah but my sister's good friend she had she had cervical cancer she's 35 years old no same with one of my girlfriends that's that old too her doctor didn't call also call your doctor to see how your results are because they're not perfect people either they sometimes forget to call you and tell you if something looked bad so public service announcement tell everybody you care about and everybody you love this is important and go get std checked and check for stds and if you have one it's not the end of the world. Okay. So let's talk to some girls. Yeah. Okay. What's going on now? Here's the lady gang. Oh my God. This is so exciting. Hello everyone. Welcome to the lady gang call

in session. Lady gang live. This is so exciting. I'm so nervous. I know. I don't know what's going to be. I'm not at all. I don't, I hate talking on the phone. So it's like for people to be calling in Heather. She's on the phone right now. Heather, get on the microphone. Tell us how this is going to work i know are you gonna like screen these calls yeah no she's gonna screen it or no okay heather tell us how a call-in show works okay so you give out number yeah we did that done yeah um i'm getting calls okay i'm picking up the phone okay putting up to my head yeah um and then i'm gonna forward them to you okay cool okay heather gives no ass about this episode who's first heather are you taking names or did they introduce himself hello hi hi hey you're our first caller

What's your name? My name's Joey Young, and I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Hi. Hey, girl. Are you driving right now? Where are you? No, I'm actually on vacation in South Carolina. Oh, yeah, girl.

Get it. I hope you're getting a tan. My brother's girlfriend is a huge fan of Glee, so she made me call in. Oh, well, tell her I said hi. Or she can be here. Her name's Taylor Yaster. Say hi. Her name's Taylor?

Hi. Hi. Thanks for calling the lady gang, but more importantly for calling me. Yeah, you know, there's two other people in the lady gang. This is some crap. I love them, too. Oh, you love us, too. Thanks, Taylor.

They're all right. They're all right. Taylor, do you have any questions? I have a couple questions. So one of them being, well, okay, so I'm a big Mariah Carey fan, but I want to know, what are your guys' opinions of Mariah Carey? Oh, great question. Excellent first question.

I'll go first. I'm going to, like, help you take this. Mariah Carey. It's God's gift to the world. I'll tell you why. Because in the 90s, we loved her for her music and her talent and her, like, cute little body and that big puffy hair and, like, her weird marriage with that big dress. And now, so then we, like, we knew she was talented. We knew she could wail.

But then in the 2017 world, she's, like, a meme of herself. That's true. And she just, like, says the craziest stuff, and she does not care at all. i've got to say her that it was the new year's eve performance right bad that's i like strive to be the no version of mariah carey from the new year's eve performance i feel like i live my life like that yeah when she was like i'm sorry the sound is off and then just like was just like let me step touch here and like fill up this time with some step touches is amazing literally did not care yeah something that really irritated me about that is that a lot of people

I'm a singer, so a lot of people don't really understand what it's like to sing with monitors or in-ear monitors. It's hard. It's basically like being deaf in a sense and not being able to hear the music, and people expecting you to sing along with it, like, fully on and without any delay. It's, like, something that a lot of people didn't really understand but really should have paid more attention to, and they would have understood why there was an issue. It's true. It's very true. Lady Gang Votes, we love Mariah Carey.

Thank you for calling in. Joey, thanks, girl. Love you. Enjoy your vacay. Get drunk. I have one more question. Oh. Oh, okay.

Okay. So I don't know if you guys know about her music, but if you had to pick, what is your favorite album or song from Mariah Carey? Why are you so obsessed with me? Drop the mic. Mine is the Eyes to Believe. No, wait. I lied.

Mine's the Heartbreaker and the music video. No, wait. What's the video where she's on the ski-doo? Kelty's done. What's the video on the Ski-Doo? I don't know. Well, maybe Joey knows. Honey, honey, honey.

Honey is my favorite. I like honey, too. Okay. Okay. Bye, Joey. Hold on. Do you think that was Mariah Carey's, like, manager? I hope so.

Or the DL, like, testing us to see if she should come on the Lady Gang? Maybe. It definitely was. Come on, Mariah. We love you. I wonder if there's any, like, perverts calling. I hope so. Me, too.

Some, like, 60-year-old man. Do you think Zach will call in? No. Chris is in Arkansas today, so I don't think he's going to call in. Yeah, Zach's in Atlanta. he's like not worried about my life right now he's not i'm single busy you know he's busy you know we are taking a big risk all right we have someone else okay okay this is lauren lauren lauren hi lauren hi you're on with the lady girl i feel so special you are so special you're a snowflake

lauren lauren what's your last name goodwin i knew it how'd you know she's like one of our like lady gang facebookers like lauren good for you was it hard to get was it hard to get through no no it rang don't tell people don't tell anybody that oh no no i'm not telling anybody that you're on hold for like three hours how are you i'm good how are you guys doing we're pretty good we're kind of nervous because we've never opened up the floodgates like this so we're hoping we don't get too many like weirdos but so far so good yeah yeah well that's a good sign What's your question, girl? I didn't actually have a question.

I just wanted to call and say hello and tell you guys I love what you do. And, like, I just think it's so awesome. Like, did you guys ever expect the community to be what it is? No one likes us in real life, so it's really weird that people like us at all. What are you doing this weekend? That's what I want to know. What am I doing? I am getting a pedicure, and I'm going to spin class tomorrow.

You're so basic. I love your life. I know. I really am. But I just moved in New York, but I just moved neighborhoods and, like, haven't found any regular places yet. Oh, that's a struggle. Are you in the city? I'm in scouting mode right now.

Once you find your place, though, you're good. We hope you enjoy your pedicure and your spin class. Wait until the lady box comes out. The next one has baby foot in it, and it's going to change your life. Oh, my God. Is it not? It's the greatest. Yep.

It's amazing. One of my friends turned me on to it a couple of years ago, and I use it all the time now. So good. I would like to baby foot my face. Okay. Me too. We love you so much. We love you, Lauren.

Have a good weekend. Bye, Lauren. Thank you. Have a good weekend. Thanks. She's so cute. I think we're Facebook friends. Could you baby foot?

So someone told me they baby foot their elbows. I could see that. I would like to baby foot my face. I don't think you can do that. I don't think you should do that. Heather, who's our next caller? That would be Morgan. Oh, Morgan.

Morgan. We have to see where they're from. I keep forgetting. Let's guess what year they were born based on their name. Okay. Based on their name? Yeah. 1991.

Yeah. She's definitely like a 95 baby. Morgan? Morgan? Hello? Morgan's gone back to 1981. 91. Morgan's such like a

name that was deep in elementary school yeah I actually don't even know a Morgan people don't have regular names anymore like the school is like Isaac with a K and then like a switch around I don't know Apple

it's very annoying but whatever anyway she's answering the phone we don't even need to like really screen them we can just put them right through I'm not scared of the lady gang I almost welcome I welcome crazy

I really want a troll We definitely want trolls Heather So feel free to not even screen the calls Let's just put them through Okay well the trolls are actually breaking the phone Because one of the phone lines is dead You guys we break everything No we broke the internet

Hello Anna Hi Anna welcome to the lady gang You're talking to the most famous member Kelty Knight Oh my gosh I know your voice anywhere you would oh look at that where do you live anna i live in little rock arkansas oh yeah arkansas is one of our biggest listenerships yeah that's where our girl miranda lambert is from do you know her i don't i wish i did me too same you have a cute accent cutest accent thank you

do i have one yeah yeah girl you have one it's adorable it's really cute what's going on in your life what do you need help with oh i need help with everything well you've come to the right place are you are you married you have kids tell us your story okay i'm divorced well okay so my life is kind of tragic not really but a little bit so i'm 26 which is pretty young and i'm divorced and i have a five-year-old little boy cute and i'm like what's your son's name kane cute yes he's adorable he looks like baby macaulay culkin when he was cute you know home alone macaulay culkin it's the best macaulay it really is um but and so like i'm trying to figure out how to date again oh well jack is a resident dater are you on apps how does that work

in arkansas okay i just well forever i was like no i'm not doing it it's creepy but then my friends have you know slowly talked me into getting on bumble i'm still a little hesitant to try tinder tinder is for all the fuck boys but bumble i mean bumble's good because then you get to be like the aggressor in the situation in the beginning so you're not getting like weird creepy like perverted messages from the gecko right right is there anyone that you can date yeah what about work oh gosh no i work okay so okay so i have oh oh no bye she gone damn it bye anna she lost service okay anna let's give her the advice okay anna oh yeah Because she'll listen to this.

Yeah, Anna. Well, we don't know where she works. No to work, but it sounds like not. It was bleep. Not good. Here's the thing. I feel like she thought that having a baby and being divorced at 26 is a deal breaker. And from someone who was also divorced at 20, well, way before 26, you just have to

own up to your story. You know, a lot of guys want kids and there's a lot of guys, especially in middle America where she's from, would be like happy to take on another kid and then have some more of your own. I think also probably dating a little bit older because she's definitely matured probably faster than I was at 26. So it was like a freaking disaster. So she's 26, which means her body could potentially still be banging, which means you need to

get out there and show the world what you've got, girl. You literally don't wait three years and then it goes to shit. It goes to shit. I think my vagina is sagging at this. Mine too. Wait, this is a real question. I was going to ask you guys when I saw you yesterday. Okay.

does your vagina like get floppy as gravity takes hold or is it just me i feel like my vagina is changing shape and i don't like the new shape you're gonna have to get that surgery where they clip off all the beef i don't like it heather who is it well this is sabrina hi sabrina i like sabrina's name hi hi sabrina welcome to the lady gang oh i'm so excited where do you live i live in los angeles oh girl come on over i know what do you do in los angeles well i used to write for you guys on your website yay oh sabrina we know sabrina yes wait sabrina you need to say our fashion guru you have to refer to yourself as your sabrina yes girl you're sabrina yes we know sabrina you're basically the fourth member of the lady

gang you really are we read all your blogs and like all your instagrams what's going on in your life, Sabrina? Well, I just got back from Paris. Damn. What were you doing there? I went on vacation. Are you rich? How are you doing all these things? My grandparents are very, very lovely people that like to take me on vacation with them. I thought you were going to say my grandparents are very loaded people. Can they be my grandparents? Yeah, me too. Because I want to go on a vacation. I think that that might be able to be arranged. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. But you are rich. Oh, my God.

I love it. Did you get a good Instagram pic at the Eiffel Tower? I think I got, like, 1,200. I made my cousin stand there and take pictures of me for, like, probably two hours. We respect your hustle, Sabrina. I know. Thank you. Do you have any questions or anything that's happening in your life you need advice about?

Because we can give you some bad stuff. Well, my question was, so recently I've been feeling a little uninspired with my blog post. So I was wondering what you guys do to get out of your funk and come up with, like, feeling more creative again. I think that's like getting drugs. Kelty, the square is saying drugs. So you do all fashion, mostly fashion, right? Fashion and travel. Okay, so, well, first of all, you have to be feeling inspired after Paris, right?

Yes, it definitely helps. I mean, I definitely smoke weed sometimes when I want to think outside the box. I always try that and then I have an anxiety attack. No, it's great. But otherwise, I also think like, I think that nobody really picks up magazines anymore, you know, and like flipping through a magazine can be so nice, like glossy photos and the styling of everything. My personal Instagram is pretty inspirational.

So you should probably head over there. It's at Becca. I was just channeling Kelty and it felt terrible. It did? i felt like you got a glow when you started self-promoting i don't know i'll also say i think living a little bit of life always helps yeah like because we're so consumed with like creating this content and always being like updating all our pages and like blah but like go live for a minute i think also like physically putting yourself in a different space whether that

be where you're working or just like for you know a little a little like staycation whatever but getting out of like your normal kind of routine will you know yes sabrina sabrina we adore you we love you thank you for calling in talk to you on facebook okay back to my vagina shape i'm actually concerned about this you guys it's like it's still very pretty i've always had a very beautiful vagina and big it's it's always here's the thing i'm sorry we have to take another call okay we'll get back to that i cannot nobody wants to talk about waiting on okay i do okay this is stephanie stephanie hi where are you calling from the bathroom at my job oh my god I love you.

This is dedication, Stephanie. Where do you work? I work in downtown LA at a medium production company. And I love you guys so much. I listen to you nonstop. Oh, my gosh. We love you. We're thinking about adding a second show of the week a little quickie.

Would you like that? Yes. Oh, my gosh. I keep listening to old episodes over and over again. Oh, yeah. We're going to help you out. I love how you have to be whispering right now. Stephanie, I feel like I'm so proud of you.

Stephanie, is anyone pooping in there right now? I'm not sure, but my boss is like, this girl has diarrhea. Oh, my God. What's going on in your life? Do you need help with anything? We'll help you. Well, I have two really, really quick questions. Okay, go.

The first one is I'm interested in starting a podcast of my own. I wanted to know if you guys had any sort of advice for just getting started or anything that you guys stumbled upon that may be a lesson learned for me. Get yourself a Kelty night. yeah if it was just me and becca this wouldn't have happened we would still be like sitting in my living room drawing out vision boards um i think it is consistency i was just gonna say everyone starts a podcast everyone starts a blog everyone starts a youtube secrets to anybody else though stephanie yeah don't tell anyone don't let anybody listen it's just like since we launched we've never missed a tuesday yeah and i've never had a rerun we've always given a fresh new lady

gang also with any new project never get discouraged that there's not massive growth right away because the consistency brings it trickles in and suddenly you turn around and you're us the lady you're just the best podcast ever nobody yeah okay we have to keep it short she's in the bathroom okay what's the second question well really quickly sorry my last question is where's the best place you guys have ever traveled because i'm obsessed with traveling mine go tokyo she'd recommend tokyo expensive to go to tokyo no the only thing that's expensive in tokyo is taxis everything else is like pretty comparable yeah okay um yeah i loved japan also stockholm was the shit it was awesome the culture's great the fashion's cool and the people

are really nice it's great for me sexy vacation eight hours direct from la is tahiti i loved it so much and i went in off season the rainy season and so it wasn't that stupidly expensive um but for like a fun trip um i mean i did the african safari which was like pretty delicious too it's really really cool and life-changing and really grounds you but you know there's nothing wrong with like a nice spa trip getaway like just anywhere that you can just like be in a bathrobe the whole time okay go back to work we love you so much thank you so much i love her hopefully her boss isn't a lady gang fan i know hopefully they are okay but you know how they can bond you know we're not talking about the vagina no i'm just one more thing

you know when your boobs are big and you get pregnant and they're full and then they deflate that's what you're having your vagina i think it's deflating you're i'm nervous do you get a surgery you don't have a kid after this and then no it'll be like i don't know is there a surgery there's for sure and they just like cut like a facelift for your badge no i saw this documentary about a girl the labia vagina was flopping yeah they just i'm not at a flap yet like let me tell you i'm like at a one out of ten flapping plasty labiaplasty labia yeah something like that thank you okay who should we talk to next heather um you remember that call that got Anna she's back uh yeah i think she's back Anna let's try and are you back Anna Anna can you hear us already gave

for advice and she didn't hear it. Anna, are you back? Anna's not here, Heather. Anna has some bad reception in Little Rock. Anna, sorry. All right, girls. I know a lot of you have joined my special sub club of the Lady Gang and I want the rest of you to join because it's the place to be. I love when you guys send me your pictures from your blue apron meals because I'm a believer and you are too. And we want to bring everybody on board because the sponsor is the jammy jam. I love that I haven't gone to a grocery store in over several months, maybe just to buy some liquor. But other than that, I don't have to grocery shop. I don't have to worry about keeping my produce fresh for when I feel like cooking or getting the right amount of ingredients.

It just comes to my door when I want it to, where I want it to, and what I want. And one of the upcoming meals I'm very excited about is this seared chicken and creamy pasta salad and summer squash with sweet peppers i'm a big pasta salad fan and i'm very excited to try it out myself i want you guys to go over to blueapron.com slash lady gang and you're going to check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free first three meals for free blueapron.com slash lady gang who's on heather uh this is vanessa she has like a really awkward problem okay oh yes yes vanessa vanessa hello yay vanessa we hear you have an awkward problem somewhat i actually wrote an article for the lady gang called dear ex-best friend oh yes yes yeah

so my question is would you ever rekindle that friendship with an ex-best friend can you give us like a summary of what happened um so we were best friends since elementary school We ran track and cross-country together through high school and college. We're college roommates. Things kind of faded apart. In college, bad fight. Pretty much bad fight because of a guy, sadly. So it's been nine years since our fight.

We're both 29, but there's still moments where I think I want to reach out to her. And since enough time has passed. Okay. Becca Tobin. I've had a couple friend breakups. I'm serious. I'm obviously a problematic person, but I will say that I never completely shut a door on a relationship unless someone has really, really screwed me over.

But there is nothing wrong with taking a breather and going your separate ways because sometimes you just aren't in the same place in your life. And also, it's so easy in your 20s for a guy to get between you. people in their twenties, girls, especially can be such idiots. And that's the most important thing to them. So I think that it's really a good sign that you're thinking about rekindling this. And it probably means that you're craving that. And you really don't have a lot of those people in your life that have known you for that long. And you've been through all that together. Like that's so special. Are you okay? Did you just fall? I think, um, if, if there is something

within you that really does want to reach out to her, I think you should do it because life is too sure to like be worried about some fight that you had nine years ago as long as like somebody didn't kill somebody else like i think there's nothing that can't be yeah rekindled if you want that relationship my friendships are better and stronger than ever the ones that we sent took a little breather and came back together because they're super honest and we both understand that we're human we're flawed but we love each other and that's what's important i always say you know listen that aa advice clean up your side of the street like if you feel like you need to reach out and make things right she might not actually want to be your friend ever again

but if you reach out to her and you say hey like i've been thinking about you god we were so stupid nine years ago i really miss you in my life and i'm hoping to get together and like move on if she never speaks to you again then you've already cleaned up your side of the street yeah like own up to anything that you might have done wrong yeah that's amazing thank you i feel even more she was my best friend so i feel like that best friend is not there and she's also i found out She's a great friend. She's pregnant. And that's the other in my mind, like, want to wish her well.

Yeah. And that's a great excuse to, like, get back in there. Definitely. Keep us posted. Let us know what happens. We'll do. Let's see a bestie pic. Yes, your St. Louis lady gang loves you.

We love you, St. Louis. St. Louis. All right. Yep. Have a good one. Thank you. Bye. When you're young, you treat your friends like shit.

Oh, my God. Ugh. The stuff I did to, like, my best friend since first grade when I was, like, in middle school. Well, middle school girls are the worst. And, like, junior high. This thing is worse than a 13-year-old girl. That's what my mom says. My mom, too.

My mom hated me. Oh, for sure. Vicious. I was a real cunt. Oh, I was not. The worst. Heather. Do we have any more calls?

I don't think she's listening, though. She's chatting. It's time. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Hello? Time for a call. Okay, and this is Allison, who has been trying to get on all day.

Allison. Allison. Allison. Allison, you made it on the lady gang. No, you didn't. You're gone. Bye. No.

Allison, hi. She's here. Good. It only took three tries. I can't believe it. Good for you. Allison, where are you calling from? I am calling from Houston, Texas.

Oh, how hot is it there? Well, we just had like a fake tropical storm. Wait, Cindy? Did you have Cindy? Yeah. Yeah. Are you okay? It didn't hit Houston at all.

Oh, that's good. I'm glad that everything is safe enough that you can have time to call the lady. Since you're from Houston, do you know anything about Beyonce's twins? Oh, my God. I'm not originally from Houston, so no. Okay. I'm not. Okay, bye.

Just kidding. Thank God. Jack and I couldn't give two Fs about Beyonce's twins. How do you feel about Beyonce's twins? I really want to know the names. That's kind of my only thought. Yeah. I didn't even know they were born.

I hope she calls him, like, Thing 1 and Thing 2. I hope she calls him, like, Bob and Sam. I heard a rumor that it was going to be B, like B-E-A, and then Sean. B-E-A? Like, Bay. Sean, though? Because Jay-Z's real name is Sean. Oh.

Sean and Bay. Okay, enough of that. What's happening in your life? So, I am actually getting married in three weeks. Yay! Congrats, girl! Yes, I am calling to get your best tips and tricks for last minute, just feeling your best besides, you know, the no alcohol. I mean, that's kind of a bummer.

Yeah, that's the trick that everyone likes to go to. But I feel like y'all are the ones that go to award shows and events. And what's your best trick? I have one that I learned from the Victoria's Secret supermodels. you have to get tart tart tart cranberry juice like not i'm not talking cranberry cocktail at the ralph's i'm talking like you have to go find the 100 not from concentrate cranberry juice it is disgusting you want it from concentrate not from concentrate is when it has all the extra sugar and stuff i'm talking like fresh squeeze 100 cranberry juice and you got it down an entire

bottle the entire day before the wedding because what it is is it's a diuretic so it's going to make you pee and it's going to dehydrate you like slightly so your cheekbones like pop your pores get small like all the good things for beauty you won't be extra sweaty like all of those things but you have to drink super tart all the girls in the victoria secret plane are like just drinking cranberry juice like it's crazy that's so weird oh that's a good one yeah i've heard that but never you know it's always just whatever's at the grocery store yeah it really does work not that not that yeah have oh no it's three weeks so she you can't f with your face or hair anymore like you're kind of done are you getting like eyelash extensions or any of those fun things no i'm i'm

just doing falsies but i have been using my um scrub from the lady box yes but here's my question what kind of falsies are you gonna wear i'm not sure i've i've had them on for my bridal trial and my makeup artist, just, I don't know. Do I need a special kind? Well, the singles, yeah. I'm going to tell you something. I think for someone that doesn't often wear a lash, like isn't a Broadway star like Becca,

who like always wears a lash, it's really nice if what you do is you curl your eyelashes, you put your full mascara on, and then you have them like plunk in two rows of those little single ones, just with the same like adhesive that rips off. Because then they sit on your eye and they flutter and like your husband isn't going to be like,

what's on your face you know it looks really natural and pretty yeah i feel like the the strips are so heavy especially for a wedding and there's nothing worse than like that inner corner like tearing off when you get hot and it's summer and so but here's the secret is that um you can't just do like five across you know what you mean like you have to layer them up like double layer so it looks like a big false eyelash i'm gonna put a picture on instagram stories tonight of how to do it actually on my youtube channel there's a tutorial on how to do it your makeup artist i'm nervous about extensions because i don't want them to destroy my lashes which i hear kind of like yeah i don't love i don't love the fake the permanent fake eyelash

situation um yeah so i would be the person that would have a swollen eye yeah you don't want to do it now either too late shave your face yeah are you gonna shave your face i've been hearing You know, no, I haven't heard you talk about it. I should shave your face. I'm still too skinny to shave my face. No, you should shave it. I might be. You should shave it the day before the wedding.

Just be really careful not to cut yourself because your skin is so nice and the makeup sits on your skin so pretty. Yeah. Yeah. The airbrush like really sticks to it. Yes. Anything else? I think that's it. I mean, I was getting pretty regular facials so that I could make sure I looked nice and glowy.

And then I really stayed away from my favorite foods, unfortunately, for like the week leading up. I did very few carbs, like very few. Yeah, I know. It's not very fun, but I feel like that's kind of how you feel awesome. Yeah, you feel great. And then you just go nuts after. Yeah, I ate an entire pizza that night. And drank all the booze at the wedding. I'm concerned about your nails.

Oh, yeah? What's your nail polish color you're going for? Oh, I'm kind of, I'm not very exciting. I like a good nude, simple, like a sweetheart or an OPI nude. Not too white, but not too pink. Because I don't like the French manicure. A lot of times brides are like, I need a French manicure. And I'm like, no. I think nude is the way to go.

Nude's the way to go. That's great. I did a bright, like hot reddish pink, and I loved it. Well, we're super excited for you. I know. Congrats, girlfriend. Don't forget your deodorant. It's going to be hot.

Oh, yeah. My sister and I listen every week, and we have lady boxes, and we love your podcast. I'm so excited I got through. Thanks for this. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for your tips. Bye, girls. Bye.

Have a good wedding. Post your wedding photos in our secret Facebook group so we can all oogle you. Yay. Ooh, okay. Yeah. Bye. Bye. I love, like, it is really exciting, the, like, time right before your wedding.

It's, like, very stressful, but for beauty, like, I'm never going to be that beautiful ever again in my life. I only enjoyed the facials. But I don't feel like I was my most beautiful. Really? You looked so gorgeous. I mean, of course I did. But did I feel like I was my most beautiful?

I feel like I've looked better. Really? Interesting. My body's been better than that. I think because I got married at 30. Yeah, because you've been younger. What was I thinking? No, totally.

Oh, God, I'm screwed. You are. Heather? This is Sarah. She's asking about her bachelorette party. Ooh. Hi, Sarah. Sarah.

This isn't Sarah. oh who are you a secret caller this is shandy hi shandy hi hi where are you calling from i'm from salt lake utah love salt lake city oh yeah it's the best are you mormon yeah i am yes i can't believe a mormon person listens to the lady game do we offend you oh are you kidding i'm obsessed are we like your guilty pleasure oh for sure i've gotten like all of my friends hooked on it and like i do hair and makeup for brides and i literally talk about you guys every single time oh my god thanks now i have to tell you a great story so i grew up in edmonton canada do you know where that is it's like a very hot mormon central like there's like

a big church and there's no hey you know okay anyway it's like it's like the salt lake city of canada anyway it's fun so in high school like i think the rule is you can't wear spaghetti straps is that correct oh yeah okay so i would like wear spaghetti straps and then i would like look at the mormon boys and i would be like like roll my shoulders like a real whore that's amazing like a true whore so what's happening what's happening with you just got done with a few clients today i'm about to go to the gym just hanging out what's going on in your life do you have any problems you need us to fix i mean no i just wanted to talk to you oh my god are you single married what's happening i'm married my husband's in our bedroom taking a nap

oh now did you wait like a good mormon girl to have sex until you're married yeah i did you did so he's the only man that's the only penis you've ever seen yep good for you dude that requires some that's a skill dedication did you have sex on your wedding night okay so we got married um in the salt lake temple and um we had to go to our venue for our reception right after yeah and so i just wanted to go into the bridal room just to freshen up and He came in with me, and we totally had sex on the ground. Oh, my God. That's amazing.

Was it good? Oh, so good. And then we were like, okay, we have no rush. We don't need to leave the reception early, whatever. And so, yeah, we totally banged it out on the ground. Oh, my God. Are you in your wedding dress? Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. And I just, like, basically just sat on top. Oh, this is the best story I've ever heard. This is great. You guys are dirty. I have a question, though. before okay so you you're not gonna have sex till you're married how much like sexual yeah you guys doing like bjs and stuff like what how far do you go before the wedding um so it's like i mean i

kind of wanted it to be like brand new and i wanted i kind of wanted to like save myself i know that's like no it's not not at all not at all i just wanted to like save myself for him and so and he did the same thing so it was just a special thing between us so had he seen your vagina before oh yeah oh have you have you like i wanted to save myself yeah he saved my vagina wait but so have have you had you touched his peen before no we kind of just we did like a little bit of fooling around but we didn't do much more than that good for you but what that seat that's so scary because what if the sex was bad you're lucky it was good but what if it was bad yeah people say that all the time but the thing is like i don't know the difference so we

kind of that's true yeah like yeah we kind of just like learn together and just like experience our own thing together because neither of us really knew the difference so yeah that makes sense well i have an idea yeah you should go and wake your husband up from his nap with maybe some sexual things yeah do a nice blow job that idea he had like an awful day at work yeah girl go get to it you sweet little mormon girl we love you go bang it out oh that's the best i will okay thanks for calling bye yeah of course bye guys bye i love her oh my god i'm obsessed here's the thing like after having my cervix cut out of my body because i had so much hpv on it like i might be promoting saving yourself from now on abstinence yeah

Someone gave you the HPV. My husband. Oh. Well, see, the math doesn't... But Mendo, you didn't know you had it before? I don't know if he... I mean, we can't... That's like...

Mendo, you can't trace this shit. Well, you can't trace it on Mendo. I mean, I had never had like an irregular... He's going to murder me. I had never had like an irregular pap smear, and then I had one, you know, after. That's weird that you didn't have an irregular one last year when you went to get trouble. Apparently, I got a strain that could be the fastest moving. Oh.

I'm actually going to talk about this more in depth because it's very important we discuss it. Okay. um but let's move on not now so no this is the end oh yeah we've run out of time oh okay speaking of your vagina we're out of time close it up close it up shop you guys what did you think of the call-in episode i hope you loved it i think oh i think you're asking me jack what did you think of the call-in episode i thought it was good i i really want a troll we got to have some trolls um yeah but like i don't think anybody dislikes us you guys not to our face except for apparently everybody hates me but other than that they oh yeah everybody hates jack um okay

So if you guys like this episode, make sure that you hop on over to iTunes, subscribe, hop on over like our Mormon friend did on her. Yeah. And follow us on social media at the lady gang at Becca at Jack Vanek at Kelty night. And, um, we also want to let you guys know that we have made our final decisions for the lady box for the summer lady box and holy shit. And it's so full. We actually had to take something out cause we couldn't fit two things out, two things

out. We're saving. You guys are going to love it. So we're so excited. So save your pennies because we'll have more information on that soon. Okay. See you next Tuesday. Yay!

Woo! Yay! Woo! Join the Lady Gang every Tuesday at iTunes and at PodcastOne.com. That's PodcastONE.com. Thanks for listening.