LadyGang - COMEDIAN MATTEO LANE

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

This week on LadyGang, the hilarious and talented Matteo Lane is here to serve up pasta perfection and comedy gold. From his debut cookbook Your Pasta Sucks to his brand-new comedy special The Al Dente Special coming out in May on Hulu, he’s bringing the heat and sharing everything you need to know about his wild ride to the top. We talk about iconic moments like when he met Mariah Carey and Oprah, he spills the behind-the-scenes tea from his appearance on Abbott Elementary, and of course, he shares his hot take on his friend, Bob the Drag Queen’s performance on this season of Traitors – you won’t want to miss his opinions on the drama and strategy! But it’s not all Hollywood gossip – the conversation also dives into the pasta world. Matteo’s got the recipes and the secrets you need to elevate your pasta game. It’s a hilarious, mouth-watering, and spicy episode full of laughs, stories, and surprises. Trust us, you’ll want to grab a seat and dig in.We have deals for YOU!!Nutrafol: Do you (or your mom) have thinning hair? Use code LADYGANGGIFT for $10 off and free shipping when you subscribe at Nutrafol.comBeam: Try Beam’s best-selling Dream Powder! Use code LADYGANG for up to 40% off at ShopBeam.com/ladygangCover Girl: Superboost your lashes with NEW Lash Blast Supercloud Mascara! Only from Easy, Breezy, Beautiful COVERGIRL. http://bit.ly/3Ez5HC9Progressive: Wanna save on car insurance? Visit Progressive.com to see how much you can save!Don't miss FX’s Dying for Sex! All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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hello hello hello welcome to lady gang i am becca tobin here with jack vanik and kelty knight hello hey everybody i just gonna pop open a diet coke diet coke with your celsius i'm troubled breakfast of champions any water in that mix or no i had a big jug of water this morning okay i start the morning so you've had a it's 11 a.m you've had a celsius and a diet coke or two celsius one celsius having a diet coke and a banana and water and our sandwiches are on the way can i have a sip of that celsius it's gone sorry friend um you're really willy-nilly about sharing drinks i know it makes me nervous really yeah yeah what's the worst thing i would my nightmare like i'm not a germaphobe but like a straw is one thing that i don't feel as grimy

about like a can where your whole mouth is really like yeah i usually do a waterfall when i have a sip oh right where it doesn't touch the lips yeah yeah can you talk about your shoes because i oh no i probably gotta get them but can you talk about people are gonna ask okay so it's really i got these when we were in nashville doing our lady gang show there was a little boutique there i wish i remembered the name because they had such good stuff okay so they're called beach by matisse oh yeah and they were 60 can i see the logo please yep beach by you know matisse footwear they're like a big brand um anybody listening it's sort of a just it's like a fuzzy birkenstock no i like to do a sneaker in the airport this is your home shoe this is a home shoe or like a

school drop-off running errand shoe yeah because i feel like slightly it's slipper adjacent yeah you know so i'm not the person who goes to the airport in slippers you know that's what the teens do these days i know that's why i try to do it and really trying to slippers slippers to work. No. No, I do a sneaker because my feet get too cold. But that's what, it's like the perfect sneaker adjacent. Okay. Yeah. Well, don't be mad when I get them. It's fine. I'm used to it now.

It's time for Good Week. Yes, it is. Bad Week. Oh, no. Who wants to go? I'll go. Oh, it's okay. Becca, you start. Okay, so I this is gross and we just did a thing with Avino

and there were not many moms in the audience and I talked about poop and this isn't the bad part and I just realized sometimes it's annoying to hear moms talk about things when there's not a lot of other moms so I'm sorry in advance for talking about being a mom however this has been consuming my life for months now Ford and his bowel movements he is really constipated he holds it holds it holds it it's been a process and he just like not like pooping he does it I think it freaks him out the sensation and then if it's really hard to get out it's just it's a whole thing I've tried everything do you give him the share plum

dude I don't think you can give that no I think he would blow out his intestine no that like literally almost kills me yeah but just a tiny nibble no I I can't risk it I have friends that do like aloe for their kids but even this young they don't recommend something yeah aggressive well because then you're also going to make them dependent on something like that for the rest of their lives right so I have a girlfriend of mine who told me about they're called pooper drops oh and biore i think is the brand this is not an ad but i would gladly support i can't wait to be the face of toddler bowel movement for kids i it is specifically for kids but i have considered trying it out myself just dosing i am the size of a teenager yeah um okay so i gave this to him

and really within a couple hours he had a very good movement and then i gave it to him one one other time the final time that i did it i think his body's like really adjusting within seconds he's in the backyard of taking yes of taking the droppers in his mouth drops his pants and shits in my backyard like a dog nice and he goes mommy the pooper drops worked oh my god so that was my win you guys sorry so sorry to anybody without children as a constipated person that's a massive win okay you can even imagine being a kid and you can't you don't understand that you're constipated now is he potty trained or you're working on it he's potty trained but the pooping is hard hands down and pooped in the yard yeah that's why he took his pants out but

it is hard because at school he's very similar to me when i was at in school i really needed privacy and they don't give kids privacy there's like five in a line looking at each other waiting to go sit on the toilet yeah and some just poop with no abandon and he needs more privacy just like me so it's been a struggle at school but he's like fully potty trained but there's so many skid marks thank you so much so it's been a good week more potty trained than me okay probably my bad week is I I was in when you guys came to Austin the night before we had our show I had the weirdest freakiest allergic reaction to something and I have not been able to figure out what the it was i woke up 10 p.m because you know i fell asleep at eight woke up at 10 p.m

within seconds my whole like my throat starts itching so badly it's a food thing yeah and then my nose is gets fully clogged there is no one clogging this and then my body is itching everywhere everywhere everywhere welcome to the hives i know i felt your pain and i'm like what i didn't i there was nothing I could not figure out what it was and I still can't so now I have to go get pricked because I'm like is it is it food because it could be some sort of throat scratches it's usually like you've eaten a blueberry or a berry that happens to me with food I'm allergic to like right away that's what I thought this was hours after I ate anything but what uh it could be your mouthwash toothpaste something that like nothing changed that it happened in the middle of the night

because you're not doing anything no it had been hours since I put anything probably ate a spider allergic spider maybe they crawl in your mouth while you're sleeping i don't make a year i don't make science i saw one of my pillowcase i knew it was coming from my mouth i snapped it up well i don't know stay tuned because this is very annoying it's the second time this has happened and i thought it was dried fruit before but i didn't have dried fruit this time no okay um i'll go so um i recently watched a video that tanks posted the other day and she was the video is basically about how she's like you know for so long i've really like pretended that i was gen z and she's like and i finally started embracing the maybe she's like on the cusp of like gen z

and millennial i think she's a little bit early mid 30s maybe yeah maybe like early anyways but she's like i'm finally like embracing the millennial and she's like it feels so good and all of the comments it's like we're so lucky to be millennials like being gen z kind of sucks because it's like they're really trying to be cool and millennials are so cringe and it's just like the best thing ever and there was one of the comments on it there's two comments that I really loved one of them was millennial cringe was just unfiltered joy and whimsy it's true isn't it so true and then the other comment was to be millennial is to be free it is so true maybe you need to make that shirt I know oh my god can you all wear it to be free it'll be a lady gang one

yes I love it yeah it's so true it's like we are so cringy and like we we're just like loving life and taking really filtered pictures and like you gave us a smorgasbord of activities and activations and we tried each one we weren't right they weren't all good for us but we're gonna do it like we've lived all the lives i know did you know it's cringe and millennia millennial to use a red heart emoji on instagram are you supposed to do the no there i guess there's a There's a different red Pantone one that you're supposed to use because allegedly it's very cringe. It's very, it's showing your millennial.

Well, that was the same thing. Should that be? I want a cry laughing emoji. Oh yeah. Should we put all the emojis on the shirt? That are like millennial. Like maybe somewhere tiny. Yeah.

So it's like where it's all millennial use. Well, now it's like you're supposed to use the skull instead of the cry laughing. Yeah. Which I tried for a bit and it like wasn't working. It's too spooky. I do that. It's so spooky. I do the skull.

I like dead. But the skull is not like laughing. Yeah. But dead is even further than laughing. No, I know. It just wasn't hitting the way I understand. But anyways, I just head is further than laughing. And I quote Becca Tobin and I'm you don't say dead.

Okay. So my bad week. All right. So obviously move to Orange County. Mission Viejo is the city that we live in. It's the city I grew up in. It's so beautiful. I love our house.

There is nothing to do in Mission Viejo. Like we've got, I knew this is going to be a problem years ago. Listen, it's fine because we can drive 10 minutes into like, uh, beach towns or San Juan Capistrano is like the prettiest, cutest little town ever. But in Mission Viejo, there is nothing. There's a CPK near us. That's like the place that we could go get a drink, which is fine. I love CPK. Um, but right by our house, there's this whole shopping center that for years, they're like, they're going to redo it. They're going to put it in like restaurants and bars and like whatever. And it's always kind of just been this thing that's been on the back burner.

and I follow this woman on Instagram and she always like she's the south OC like what's what are the new developments lady and the other day she posted this Instagram story she goes I have the most incredible news for Mission Viejo she's like you're gonna want to put on notifications for this one because I am shocked I've never seen anything like this and I'm like they're gonna build the center like I'm finally gonna have like a nice restaurant to go to she posts about it the next day it is a costco not just a costco a costco gas station no costco attached but just a gas in that place that you want not in the same place it's down the street but i'm like this is the exciting news that we get from mission viejo is a gas station so much cheaper at costco but people

people line up for hours but that's what i'm saying then you're lining up for hours it's like so money is time people i'm like this is this is the the huge news and i commented on her post i'm like i am so disappointed you're like i need a wine bar it's just something like something and then like they're like yeah mission viejo one of the other big things that happened was they put in a wendy's i'm like who's putting it in and new wendy's somewhere wow lots of people you could have put it in a car this is growing wow i know i i i know like a maybe a wendy's that has been there but they built a new building and put a wendy's in the new building well and we could have put a wow i thought a lot about franchising i would love to know if any lady gangers are

franchisers my dad franchised restaurants for a long time he did and then he sold them we should franchise a jersey mike's or dunkin donuts well you have to see what's franchisable and what is i subscribe to entrepreneur magazine and they just had their franchise episode oh it's like the top 100 growing fasted franchises one is um what's the uh chicken that uh snoop dog loves no oh raising canes yeah that's the number one gross growing okay too many carbs don't worry jack once you have kids you won't even care what's around the corner because you'll just be at your house picking up poop but that's what i wanted around the corner because we could walk to this place i'm like i just want like something that's like decent yeah i get it there's not or i thought

there maybe going to do a whole foods but it was a gas station so that's wow i'm so sorry yeah apologies kelty my good week is that we went on a trip recently and on our plane were the girls from girls got to eat oh yeah ashley and reina and they're so fun i well then we saw them in the bathroom so we got off the plane like we saw them on the plane we're like oh my god talk to you when we get out but then like you know you get off the plane and you're like i'm just going where i'm going i'm not waiting behind to like visit with ashley no offense to you ashley but then we all went to the bathroom and then we, we saw each other again. So we had like a little kiki in the bathroom. And I just have to say, and this was on top of, um, someone recently sent me a video of

girl with no job, Claudia. She got interviewed by Forbes and she was, she was like talking about, uh, YouTubers and podcasters getting TV shows and how that was like the thing. And she went on and on about lady gang TV. And she was like, that show was so good. And like, they didn't give it a chance. Like same thing with Lily's late night show. Like they just didn't give a chance. And now nobody cares like that's the tv's problem is that nobody gave these digital shows a chance to grow on tv and so digital was like we're good anyway but i think it's just really cool and then giggly squad girls like i had message page about something and i was like good luck like have a good time and then she mentioned on giggly squad like us and just being like they've been

such an inspiration and like this is what's wild is that i just think it's so cool like yes we're all in competition like we're competing for ad dollars but not really but not really enough to go around yeah but there's something really cool about you see them and you're like these are people we only see once in our lifetime but like because we do what we do and they do it we know we have the same lives we have the same struggles we have the same booking we have the same calendar like we have the same stuff it was just really cool and I felt very seen by them no they were so great and that is the second time I've run into Ashley at the airport wow I've never run into anybody else in my life at the airport, except for Ashley twice. Wow. They're so funny. And like,

what else is really interesting is that each one of the shows has its own strengths. They sell like this Chelsea theater in Vegas, 3,500 seats, like huge tickets. You know what I mean? But like we can make merch and get TVs and books. Like, so everyone has their own. It's very cool. Anyway. Okay. My bad week is that Justin Sylvester, um, sent me a text. He's my co-host on e-news and recently someone that he's friends with reached out um i was like up for a job and they were like hey i'm checking in like i know you work with kelty what is she like and he sent me the text of what he said about me it's so dismal guys i was like uh are we you should have like first of all you should have checked with me before you sent this text but

this is what he said but you thought it was so good enough to screenshot and send back to you yeah that's a man he said justin was asked to describe me he said she can definitely put her foot in her mouth and she semi doesn't care if she's liked oh my god wait that was you were up for a job yeah but he didn't say anything nice no but then he said the nice stuff but he didn't send that you need to he was like i was asked about like he he basically said can definitely put her foot in her mouth which is funny on tv and semi doesn't care if she's liked which is also funny on tv like no those are kind of good you're trying to make tv that i was worried that that was the only feedback he gave no so there was a bunch of nice stuff i think there was well

i don't know why maybe i should ask him he didn't send me that i'm assuming it is oh yeah this is one of those jobs where it's kind of good to be bad like a bad girl so i'm glad bad girls club no but like i'm very boring so it's it's good to be interesting yeah oh is this the job we've been talking about it's this is so different than a hosting job I'm worried that he would this out of context makes him seem like a really big ass no that's actually a very big compliment for the job that you're up for okay yes I'm up for a job to play myself yeah yes in a dramatic situation ish kind of and yeah so no I he actually this is the best thing he could possibly yeah it is yes yes that is funny but it's also just funny because it's exactly what I would want him to say

because I'm like, oh, they're going to be like, oh, she'd be great for this because she's like dramatic. And she like, she could be a great trader. You know what I mean? It's trader-esque like, you know, so I'd be great TV. But then I sat back and I was like, damn, he came up on that, like came up with that on his own. Like I didn't even have to coach him about my worst qualities. He just knew them right away. And I was like, oh, those are two amazing qualities for what you're up for. And they're very true. Thank you. And strong qualities. Thank you so much. Okay. Mateo's here. Bye.

Now back to the lady gang. Ladies and gentlemen, grab your wine, twirl your spaghetti and get ready for a comedy feast because today he is the pasta shaming, opera singing, ad mastering king of standup. Did I mention he also speaks five languages? He's been named one of Variety's 10 comics to watch. He's literally sold out shows around the world. I'm talking legendary venues like Carnegie Hall and the Kennedy Center Casual. you've seen him in abbott elementary netflix's survival of the thickest and if that's not enough

he's also the co-host of the hit side splitting podcast i never liked you he's here to dish on his brand new hulu comedy special the al dente special and his must-read cookbook your pasta sucks please welcome to the lady gang the hilarious and way more successful than us mateo lane i need to come on this show every day this is just a boost of confidence what five languages do you speak it's like i speak english and italian fluently and then i speak spanish if you don't speak spanish i'm fluent if you speak spanish i'm proficient however you have an italian accent so they always sound like mario and luigi and i would say my french is the same as my spanish like easily to communicate say everything i'm feeling thinking

blah blah blah i just can't like talk about like medical issues or do like past subjunctive in certain like French for sure. And then I just I took German in high school and I had a teacher named Herr Katzenmeier who never spoke English to us. So my German's rusty, but I can still understand it at a very basic level. Like that's crazy. Like it was crazy. Wow. You have a language brain. So you're actually meant to be a superstar because you can speak all the languages. Also, you sold out Radio City. What was that like? Well, it's in two weeks and I'm nervous as that's so exciting but what a theater i know and we went to go do promo at it and like i mean being i've been doing stand-up 17 years so to find like most of my career for 15 years was

performing like the ha ha hut in dayton ohio for six people that hate me bombing every week and performing in basically toilets and so the fact that i'm like even doing theaters i'm like i'm like they're so pretty and so radio city is the biggest one i've done at 6 000 seats and i'm just like, damn, like we did the promo there and I'm just walking around. I'm like, that is sometimes I'm just like, how did I get here? Like what? That's awesome. Well, I'm glad you said that though, because I'm like, oh my God, you're everywhere. You're crushing it. And then I'm like a little jealous because I'm like, damn, like people do get success and they don't have to just podcast only for the rest of their lives. Like, but then you're saying it took it seven

your 17 year overnight sensation ish i mean yeah i started when i was 23 in chicago so now i'm moving on to 39 and it just was yeah it just is a it's a lot it feels like it was nothing and then it feels like it was a like a long time but basically you know for years i would say before 2020 remember that um i was just you know trying to play the game and just trying to like audition and trying to sell an hour to Netflix and try but I just was rejected at every corner and so after 2020 like in 2021 comics like Schultz and Sam Morrell started putting their clips online and that's when I called Andrew Schultz and he was like because I was trying to do a club in Miami the improv and I sold 19 tickets which actually I have a really sweet story about that but

so they canceled the show so I was like okay I'm a loser I can't pay rent like I can't afford food I don't know what I'm doing. And Schultz was like, just take the hour that you were trying to sell to Netflix of all your jokes and just put them up online. I'll show you how to do it. So I did. I mean, in a way, I was kind of grandfathered in as like one of the first few waves of comics doing it. And like, I don't know, by that October, I had started selling out all clubs. And then it slowly moved to like theaters and clubs. It was so strange. But then a year later, I went back to Miami. I did six sold out shows at that improv. And when I was at the pool the standard gay um this italian guy walked up to me and an italian he was like hey

you're mateo right i go yeah he goes i i tried to see you last year in miami i go oh they canceled the show no one bought them he goes no i know no one bought them because i called and asked them how many tickets do we need in order to have a show and they said 18 so i bought 18 tickets oh wait what it would have just been him and one other person yeah and i was so touched i was like oh my god like you know did you invite him to radio city no he's in miami but i brought him to the miami shows okay good for lauderdale and did like a proper theater he he came to those shows so it was like a whole circle but it was so sweet i was like oh my god you were you were the only one that's so sweet no i love that and also i love when people get a level of success

and they have worked their asses off and had like you'll be able to stand at radio city and you'll be like okay because you did the grunt work and you've had the disappointments of like a show not selling a thing not going your way the nose so it's like Jonathan Bennett said once to me he said the yeses that you're getting in your life right now are actually a celebration of all the nose it took you to get to the yes so you don't just celebrate it as a yes you celebrate it as like overcoming the nose and I just like I love I'm so happy for you okay so you got the book um you're you're looking cute in this apron very i have to tell you i was at work yesterday at e look at it i know and i mentioned that you were coming on and we did spend my entire hour and 15 minutes

that's how long it takes of glam uh the entire six people just looking at hot pictures of you on the internet we had we we looked at everyone because there is a yahoo article called 30 steamy pics of mateo lane that got us all hot and bothered do you know about this article no that's humiliating because i'm like okay once before my hair transplants once before my botox now i'm sure it's my ass like i'm so embarrassed but you're really the fact that you have 30 steamy pics like that honestly who cares about radio city there's 30 steamy pics of you there was enough hot pictures of you on the internet that yahoo could make a gallery well first they must have a slow day and secondly how desperate do i look that i've got more than five pictures i'm

like jesus am i that desperate my god no when you got it you got it you know god gave with two hands for you he was like we'll make him funny and hot you're welcome world surgeon that really helped a lot oh really what have you had done let's go around in circles i got two hair transplant two yeah and then i buzzed it and everyone's mad about it they're like why would you get a hair transplant to buzz it i'm like it's about the hairline yeah yeah i did it in new york dr wesley carlos great doctor you didn't fly to turkey like all those men i don't want to be ugly on a plane for 18 hours with a wrapped head so swollen it looks like i ate a gusher like i can't handle kind of stress that that would take on me i'd rather just be ugly at home did it hurt it's not

that it hurt i mean i'm sure it hurt but they basically knock you out i i like i had a joke where i was like because i don't drink or do drugs so when i walked in like they tell you not to eat anything and so i walk in and they're like all right mateo take this it was two valium and an ambien and i mean i'm sure i said that they had a conversation beforehand they're like well he's a new york gay we better i took it and i swear to god in 30 seconds like the last thing i remember is i think i was talking about game of thrones i was like the game of thrones are and then you just up with your head wrapped i looked like the sultan in aladdin and then home i went but it's more like delicate like you just have to be very delicate for 10 days while

the crap go into your head so for 10 days i'm just sort of like tiptoeing around my house and sleeping sitting up and but then after that like free to go the hair that they put in falls out and then three months later it grows in like a chia pet wow that's like a newborn you know newborns they lose all their hair and then they grow new hair which is why some start my doctor oh my god okay so what did the fam think of your pasta sucks and why a cookbook like it's but it's a cookbook i mean there's recipes in it but then there's also like it's it's comedy it's comedy Yeah, and that's how I sold it, too. It came about because when I started my YouTube channel with my producer, Chris Cazzo, three years ago, literally, I was like, what do I have to do to fill the time? Like, this is kind of where the movement's going. So I want everything to be comedy related. So I was like, well, I can just I know how to cook. My mom taught me how to cook. So I'll just cook. And then in the meantime, like, I'll just chit chat. And it'll be kind of like a mini comedy show. So I just did all the recipes that I know. And it ended up becoming really popular. And people are making my dish. like i wasn't expecting that i just was looking for a venue to chit chat because i know people

like cooking and comedy so when chronicles the publishing company were like oh we want to do a cookbook with you and i was like well i'm not an author i'm also not a chef and they were like no like we watched your youtube channel first they were like we want 80 recipes i'm like i don't even know how to make 80 recipes like i'm not martha stewart and i was like why don't we just do a mix like do my youtube channel i'll do half cooking and then just have funny stories like it's not Hemingway there's no arc like I'm on a plane for a year just throwing a million stories at my editor and having them compile them together but it was actually fun and it actually made me sort of go back into my mind and remember okay like one how much I've learned about pasta

living in Italy stories about my family stories about my friends it's just a nice venue to sort of express those stories and not feel like everything has to be super funny like when you're on stage i have that need of like every 30 seconds there's got to be a joke somewhere so it was way less stress to just sit and write stories and have them be either funny or have funny anecdotes and not necessarily be like punchline punchline punchline it's it's so beautiful and my question is olive garden for the rest of your life or olive garden for the rest of your life or never eat pasta again i would probably do olive garden just because i could at least try and fix the order like okay just put like rigatoni with butter on it something

because i can't i eat pasta probably four days a week how do you look like that i don't understand my trainer hates me um marry kill alfredo sauce marinara sauce pesto sauce so i mean okay i would probably uh kill alfredo sauce i mean these are like the american versions right right alfredo sauce i would probably f**k pesto and marry marinara with marinara that's so funny i'm such a loser marinara pizza marinara which means just sauce because it was from like the marine marinara like the sea people who were coming for cheese so that's why they call that pizza una marinara so when you get red sauce in america that somehow moved over to marinara but no one in italy calls red sauce marinara they call it pasta al sugo or pasta al pomodoro wow we're in love

Stanley Tucci. Did you see Stanley Tucci's clip of him saying Mariana? Mariana. What do you say? I wonder if he speaks Italian because I made fun of Jada De Laurentiis for so long because I thought she was like she would always be like, and now we mix the spaghetti. And but then I watched an interview with her in Italy and she was fully in a town. She's like, oh, you're so happy to think about when I was a little girl. I'm like, oh, wait, no.

She like literally speaks Italian. I take it all back. I publicly apologize. Jada, you're great. Wow. What do you think of Meghan Markle and her cooking? Are you watching it? Excuse me, Meghan Sussex.

Oh, sorry. She's Sussex now. I love it. I want rainbow. I want flower sprinkles on everything. Would you ever do like a full cooking show? I mean, you kind of have that already. So, and you own it.

So, forget it. Cooking shows, like I was getting a pedicure the other day in North Carolina with my friend Nick, who I do the podcast with. And they just had the Food Network on TV. And at this point, I'm like, first of all, the lighting looks like everyone's cooking in an elevator. And secondly, like why? Like, like it's just like we've lost the plot here. Like, I don't know that I want a cooking show that way because the YouTube is great because I can cook what I want. It's personal. It's in my home. The cooking sets always look over lit and overfit. Like, go back to the bear for Contessa. Let's be in a barn and I want to view a life I don't understand in the Hamptons and see what rich people live like.

Like that to me is a cooking show. A hundred percent. All right. let's talk about the most important ingredient in any recipe diet coke defend diet coke are you referring to when i cook kathy mitchell's recipes from the infomercials and she used diet coke as a like substitute i mean i'm not mad at it it's a fabulous you know it's well i've definitely been turned into a diet coke gay like and also colin quinn he's a comedian and he has gotten me addicted to diet coke so now i just always have diet coke stocked in my fridge but um what i use it as a cooking recipe you know i'm gonna be honest i made muffins with the turbo cooker which was an infomercial thing i became obsessed with it and uh they weren't as bad as i thought but would i use

it again in the future no is a turbo cooker like a like an air fryer that feels like an easy bake oven that you got when you're a little girl when you're like eight literally those two combined it sounds great the way they sell the commercials like are you sick of cooking seven meals at once And it's always a woman, like, panicking, cooking, like, a roast beef, pasta, like, ridiculous things you never cook together. Well, you need the turbo cooker. And then it's, like, this giant UFO. It's, like, we use the power of steam to cook your meals. And it has, like, a rack so you can have, like, corn on one part and then, like, a fish on the bottom.

And the corn doesn't taste like fish. And then Kathy Mitchell comes out and kind of uses witchcraft to make it seem like it's easy. But then you realize there's 12 turbo cookers, so, of course, it's easy. Yeah. love you so much you're listening to the lady gang you have a new hulu special which is so exciting so it actually worked out i mean this is your third special second special so this is my second special the first i put on youtube and i wanted to call it netflix said no but my manager thought

it was a really bad idea but i still think it's funny i think it's very so funny i know i'm mad i didn't go with it so this one's the first one being produced by like the real like not the real but like no you mean one that i don't have to pay for yes that was no i got like a uh because i was i was filming all my stuff at the comedy cellar which is my home club i love the comedy cellar and like noam esty and liz make it so easy for comics to produce their own work there um so i would have done it there for the rest of my life but hulu was like you know we want to do it in a theater and this and that I'm like okay yeah like that sounds cool I mean Netflix still said no so I was like all right I'll do I'll do Hulu Disney and it was a great experience it comes out in May

it's so exciting now Hulu uh when you joined Hulu you said it makes you the fifth golden girl which what what is your golden girl persona I am a mix between Bea Arthur and uh Sel Geddy like I'm Sophia and Dorothy sort of fused into one like I can be this old Sicilian lady making like quick quips but then I'm also just like a boring substitute teacher waiting around for the phone to ring on a Saturday night I'm both of those I love this um okay have you met Mariah sorry I'm going all over the place but have you met have you met Mariah Carey I know you're a Mariah Carey super fan I finally did meet Mariah Carey and I met her because I used to do a show called Girl Code and Guy Code on MTV and so the producer Stucky who sounds like a cartoon is like

my name's Stucky I talk like this he was producing a segment for MTV in 2019 where fans go into an elevator and then their celebrity like her you know their their favorite celebrities there so they did Backstreet Boys and I was like anyhow he called me up he's like hey I got a surprise for you I just need you to make me at 1515 Broadway I go I know it's Mariah he's like god damn it boys he knows so damn I met her she stood in the corner and she was lit so she didn't really move because i was on her good side so yeah first she would kind of like she also treated me like i was the help like it was very um but it was funny as there's all of us in the elevator and then her hair her makeup guy was in the other corner so every once in a while you would just see this hand

come out do a little makeup and curl back in the corner of the elevator but we got this thing together and we got i heard her do a whistle note in person and uh i got to give her a hug which they told us not to touch her but there was a white girl crying who got a hug and i was like well this bitch does and i definitely hugged mariah hugged me she didn't like it but she hugged me and um that was that it was it was crazy to meet her i was like wow that's probably one of the biggest celebrities in the world and i got to be in an elevator with her for 15 minutes was she she was drenched in the honey light right they had like her personal lighting person that's a different color than the rest of the room jesus came down from heaven to like like literally like

they asked saint peter to come down and shine a light on her that's how she was lit my husband and I were at catch in LA. This was probably like 2017, 2018. And it was kind of around Halloween. So my husband sees this woman standing in a corner and he goes, Oh my God, that guy is dressed like Mariah Carey for Halloween. And he looks so much like her. And I was, I was like, wait a second. And I look a little closer and then I'm like, I think that is Mariah Carey. He's like, no, it's not no it's not mariah carey so we walk over and i look at and i sure as shit stare her down in the eyes and that is mariah carey and my husband for sure thought it was a man in drag she didn't have security or anything around her there was like some friends but there was not like a full

blown it really did it could have been somebody it was very casual so she was in a platform and i think she was taller than we thought she was yes five eight and she wears heels she wears a big stripper heel always so she was like six three and it so it was quite confusing but yeah that was my mariah story she looks you know she was really sweet and she looked beautiful and and one thing i like about her is like she's what 53 now or she doesn't do ages she did i know she's internally 12 and i'm sure that's some sort of mental disorder but you know she but she looks unbelievable and she really doesn't look like she's had any work done like she just looks very natural and pretty and you know that's the lighting well you know she's like that in real

life i think too actually she's beautiful and she's stunning she really is what's the most mariah carey thing that you do now that you're a big star i sit on the right side if i can because i like this side better than my left side that's the one thing when i did girl coding geico they would have us switch sides and i started noticing from like an early age i was like 27 i was like why do i look on this side like depressed and this side i look awake because i have those italian eyes like the heavy eyelids and they droop down the side of my face so for some reason i looks more awake than that i you just need a bluff about it after my travel this week everyone yeah everyone on my instagram algorithm is getting a bluff that little like they snip

that eyelid right oh yeah i can see my mom and my aunts because my mom's family is all italian and mexican so everyone's got like the heavy eyelids and like that and they it's slowly just drooping over their eyes and they every christmas they show me they're like and look at how heavy it gets look what you're gonna see i was like jesus christ oh my god okay um well i'm a huge drag race fan i actually um went to vegas and got put in drag um my last name is night and so my drag name is one night stand um and i know that two of your best friends are monet exchange and bob the drag queen what did you think of bob on the traders so bob on the traders uh what's funny real quick about all of us being friends all of us were friends before any of this stuff

happened to us well shut up really yeah i met bob in 2012 he stopped me on the street because he heard me on a podcast and he was like are you mateo lane and it was just this guy eating from a halal cart and i was like yeah he's like oh i heard you on feast of fun i heard you on this podcast and i was like oh cool you know and um then we i went like a maybe like a year later bowen yang texted me with matt rogers and was like do you want to come to barracuda we're going to go see this drag queen named bob the drag queen i was like oh i know bob so we went and at his show he pointed at me he's like i know you you're mateo lane and then bob does what he usually does if he decides he likes you he like like absorbs you into his life so he got my phone number and then just

would call non-stop and then him and i started working on a cartoon together called kick-ass drag queen and then he went to drag race he was like i have to go on vacation and then here but i met monet at the at galaxy diner uh bob our friend mitch who's bob's producer and you know all of us were friends before any of that stuff happened wait that's crazy yeah it's like it's really crazy and now bob's opening for me at radio city and he's like my surprise guest and uh not anymore i know yeah i know but it's fun to have like like your group of friends like we all vacation together like we're best friends we talk every day all day like we are like this so when i saw him on traders i got all the tea and um let me just say this bob loves an argument

so bob is not afraid of confrontation and bob is ready at any moment from any angle to take on any heat from anyone and we'll fight back because we do that about even arguing about the smooth stupidest things he will argue about anything so i thought bob was genius and i think rob was an idiot to get him out of the show because that got rob out yeah after off i stopped watching i was like although i love alan coming that he's the best part of the show he's incredible yeah would you ever do traders would you be a good trader a thousand percent i told my manager i was like i want so badly to be on that show like i don't be on that show it looks ridiculous ridiculous yeah but where did i just heard somewhere that the accommodations are terrible yeah they're like

at an airport hotel they're not at the castle no i know they're not at the castle that's the one thing but i guess that makes sense because when the traders come out at night wouldn't be so obvious like you would hear people like walking around also can you imagine all these housewives just like sleeping in a castle like it's no they need a hotel i'm now see my production brain goes and i'm like but how do they sneak them out so they must have them in different rooms and like oh my god it reminds me when i was on the bachelor and they like stick you in a hotel for three days and then like stand outside your door and don't let you go anywhere.

And like, it's just all scary. Okay. Some of the back race girls, they can't like leave their door. They have no cell phones, no nothing. And I'm like, it's not who wants to be a millionaire. Like how can they cheat? Like-

I know, but then I'm wondering like, are you watching this season? And then it's like the Corian butthole. It's like, how did they hook up if they're not allowed to leave their rooms? Did they allow them? Like once they decided they wanted to like be a couple, like to stay in the same room.

I'm very confused by the whole thing. I need that to be on Untucked. Like, I need to know how you hook up with someone at Drag Race when they keep you in a separate room. That's a whole different game. And we'll always find a way to hook up. It doesn't matter where you are. It doesn't matter what the situation is. It doesn't matter how much you could be in Scotland Yard in Buckingham Palace.

They will find a way to hook up. OK, that I'm not watching the season of Drag Race, so I have no idea what's happening. OK, OK. Booked and busy. You are on Abbott Elementary. So cute. What a moment. That is like that's the that's the that's the claps because that is the biggest show on TV right now. It was really fun. I mean, I'm friends with Randall Einhorn, who's the director, because him and I are working on something.

And they were so sweet to be like, just want to do this thing on Abbott Elementary. I'm like, sure. And I'm friends with Janelle. I've been friends with Janelle for almost 14 years. I mean, all of our open mics and bar shows together and then Jaboukie and Larry Owens, like these are all my friends. So I got on set and it was just like hanging out and having fun with my friends. And I got to be Larry Owens, who I played his boyfriend in the show. And Larry, I've known Larry for years. We go karaoke together. Larry's the most talented person I've ever met in my entire life.

And the entire day we were just talking our best Wendy Williams moments. We're singing to each other. We're talking Oprah. Like we were just having a ball and then they'd be like action. Like, oh yeah, I have to do something. But no, it was great. Janelle was, I mean, amazing. They're all amazing.

It's so cool. So if you're working on something, does that mean we're going to get a sitcom? We're going to get a sitcom based on your life, your international life. And it's all about the grandmas and the Italians and not far off. I love it. That's what we need. And like and then also coming to it's like coming to America and she doesn't understand and she doesn't understand.

There's some French people in there because you have that. And then there's the English and she doesn't understand the gay culture and she's confused and she's like old lady grandma that just wants you to be french last night by the way on fortnight sometimes you play i play fortnight every night and my friends and i we had an open slot and so they just like bring anyone in from around the world and last night was a guy from montreal just speaking french then i'm just chit-chatting in french oh my god and donnie's like why do you speak french and i was like i don't know you're like the most interesting man in the world you really are there's like a um there's something what's that guy oh my god he died wait this is

so dark i am like stephen hawking's many people no it's the guy that travels around and makes you feel like the world is like amazing anthony bourdain he's the anthony bourdain of comedy i'm hopefully less depressed but i love anthony bourdain i saw him at um uh i went to go see seth meyers once and he was the guest and so i was like you know 10 feet away from him it was kind of cool that's cool I love that okay so um the show is so funny I I want to talk about this moment of you describing seeing Oprah it's such a funny bit how did you come up with what you were gonna say um I literally just told the story as is I literally told the story as is there was no that's sometimes a great thing about experiences like that is when you're running into like

insane experiences you're like oh like I don't have to write the joke it literally exists as it happened so i was in rome and there's a really great comic named daniele gatano who's an italian comic he's also gay he's basically me but there and we went to one of my favorite um restaurants it's called da francesco and campo di fiori and they make a great carbonara and so it's not like a super fancy restaurant it's not like this highfalutin plate it's just a trattoria a mama pop shop they make great pasta so we went we're sitting outside and then he's in front of mean he's just looking and he starts to panic and he's like mateo mateo oprah oprah and i'm like what's an oprah he's like oprah winfrey and mateo so i turn around look and oprah is walking in and

i literally thought to myself like what can i say to encapsulate everything that i'm thinking and i am like i'm from chicago i'm gay she looks great so she walked by she looked at us and i went you better work dead serious and then she said to us she goes better work and then she went in the restaurant oh my god it's like well first of all she knows where the good pasta is that's one thing oprah's gonna find a carb you know what i mean like she doesn't around she's like oh i'll go to this tiny spot like she knows what's up i do feel like did you feel like you were magically blessed when she looked in your eye like the couple times that i've interviewed oprah she has this ability to make you feel so seen in that second yeah she has that talent that very few celebrities have

where I feel like Liza Minnelli is one of them when she talks to you like she makes you feel like you're the only person in the room like I've seen her in interviews like she was even on the home shopping network which one of my favorite videos of all time because I don't know what she was on she was out allegedly she was out of it and this woman called she was like well thanks so much for taking my call and Liza goes thank you so much and I'll remember it I'm like all right She's said that before, but it makes me feel like they're engaged, you know? But I feel like Oprah's pretty genuine. I can't get over how good your impressions are.

It's blowing my mind. I've met Gail three times. Really? Is Gail going to space? Are you going to go with her? Under no circumstances. I have no interest in flying off of this plane. Let me just tell you something.

When you travel for a living, guess what I don't want to do for fun? I don't want to travel even higher. It's enough already. Stop it. traveling to space going under the sea to see the titanic shut up there's so much more to do i know what if we lose gail king and katie perry in the same space mission i just have such a bad feeling about it yeah i don't have a good feeling about rocketing gail king off the planet i don't think that's like really in anyone's like why is she interested i'm like gail come on

i know so i met gail king when i did the drew barrymore show and then i met her again backstage at madison square garden and she remembered me she was like oh hello again i was like wow and then i saw her when i went to go see mariah carey's christmas concert i was sitting above her and mariah was two hours late of course i'm like you're gonna make gail king's forget the rest of the 50 000 people you're gonna make gail king's that they're eating popcorn for two hours like she's got to wake up for cbs morning tomorrow like come on mariah you knew this was happening 12 months ago like just get it one gay yelled in the audience when she was late he just yelled your hair looks fine like we were just like move it along what are when these divas madonna mariah

two more hours to get on the stage you knew when the show was happening you contracted it Well, months ago. How are you late? Oh my God. Wait, I have the craziest Mariah story. So when I was in Vegas doing an interview with her and she's always late, like I've waited for Mariah at least five hours. And so we're flying to Vegas. She was reopening the residency and I flew to Vegas and I was like, Oh, well the interview is at 2 PM. I was like, it's not, it's at 6 PM. Like they're saying I need to be in the lobby of this hotel at two to do the interview. I know she's not going to be there. So I came sweatpants, no makeup, no hair, because I was like, there's no way this is happening at two. I'm not going to glam and then fly like I normally would think

I'm going to get off the plane and rush to Mariah. She's not going to be ready. I swear to God, I sat down in that lobby and started like thinking about putting a moisturizer on and they were like, Mariah's ready for you. She was super on time. And I was like, I threw a wig on, I threw that wig on and I just like went up and I was, it was a mess. I actually had them like cut most of me out of the interview because also when you interview Mariah, she puts herself in the honey light. You get just regular streetlights. You get, you're opposed to set Walmart.

She is lit by the gods. Yes. I, fine. I need you to be a little bit ridiculous because we're in this culture where celebrities, like we expect them to be normal and act right. And I don't want that. Like as a someone on e-news, I don't have time to, we don't have a good show. if you don't act out a little bit i want you to wear the naked dress i want you to show up with

this person i want you know like i need things to talk about and so i carry grocery shopping like jessica rabbit like that exactly that's what i want to see exactly that's why we need you and only an apron as the centerfold of your cookbook do you know what i mean don't give us boring give us something i mean what's that song let's give them something to talk about oh wow bonnie rate Give us something to talk about. I want to know about the photo shoot for the cookbook. I was in Rome with my sister. We were doing a vacation.

Well, the thing is, I always go to Rome every summer. So it's the only time in June I'm not working. Like I'm constantly touring. I'm doing podcasts. I'm doing YouTube. I'm writing books. So the only time I'm not is June. And so in June, I take my three weeks.

I go to Italy and just be in Italy and hang out with my friends in Italy. And my sister, I brought her to Rome with me last summer. So we were there for a week together. I told the publishing company, they're like, we want authentic photos of you being like Italian. I was like, well, I'll be in Italy. So just see if you can send a photographer. We'll set it up. They did.

We went to this tiny kitchen in a part of Rome called Monte Verde, which is right by Trastevere. And I walk in and I have this Roman woman cooking all this fake pasta. I mean, it's pasta, but it's not to be eaten. It's like the pasta that I'm eating. Like she's just cooking tons of it so we can eat. I was so hungry because I was trying to look as ripped as possible. The night before, I didn't get a madrissana at my favorite restaurant, Zuberto.

The whole staff was making fun of me. Oh, wow, there's a model. He can't eat. Look, I know he's too good looking. Can't eat pasta in Italy. So the next day I go, and they're like, put the pasta in your mouth. I just started shoveling it in my mouth. And then this Roman woman, she's like yelling at me in Italian.

She's like, don't eat the pasta. It's overcooked. not that it's a prop like it's poisoned uh it was a photographer i've just you know i'm used to taking photos of my underwear and then we did like a whole walk around this market and took pictures of me just trying different foods at one point um there was like a whole beautiful vegetable section of like red peppers and green peppers and yellow peppers so the photographer's like just grab on to that pepper so i go to reach for it but really in italy it's customary if you're gonna hold the food you're buying the food yes so i'm holding i keep holding this food and

you can see one of the photos in the book this old italian man furious with me behind me and he starts yelling at me and i was just like i'm like like it was just this chaotic mess then we went to the cheese place and the women saw that we're taking pictures they kept throwing more like mortadella at me and prosciutto and mozzarella now i'm being stuffed by someone else's nonna like it was just an entire thing what a dream yeah but i love this because it wasn't like some like set coordinator you know what i mean like it was really real and this is why you're having success the authenticity and like um you just doing you in your own way i also like that just for you to prep for this photo shoot you just skipped pasta the night one night like do you

know what i would have to do it's really salty a madrishana and it's also like eating late so i thought if i just have a couple meatballs you know tomorrow i like a whole protein i'll just feel good for this photo shoot and then after that like throw caution to the wind i'm just gonna eat whatever i want because i usually eat whatever i want and uh but that night i was trying to be good you fly when you fly you feel swollen like i'm trying to drink water and then in italian all these waiters are making fun of me now the whole restaurant's laughing at me yeah i i really think we we need to i don't party but if i did party i'd want to party with you i don't party either is that crazy no but party or do drugs or anything but you've already mentioned like oh we

karaoke together oh we go on trips together i was actually thinking in my mind this is the life because kelty is a childless wonder she doesn't want to have children she wants to live her life i'm like that's how you live if you choose to not have children kelty's living how i'm living just without the child she's going to bed at 8 30 she's reading books she's not vacationing she's not having friends over she's never hung over like it's so bizarre so i would like for you to embody a little bit of the Mateo social joy. What's it called? Joy to vive.

Joy to vive. Joy to Mateo. But also, it's also when people live in New York, they do better at that. I know. Kelty, I think you would thrive in New York again. I know. I know.

I can't be here. Yes, I was actually a Rockette, which is why I asked about Radio City. Oh my God, because we're doing a joke about my friend Nick. Well, I can't say what it's going to be. Okay. But that's hysterical.

That's amazing. You're a Rockette? No, I'm very excited. i'm wondering what dressing room they'll put you in i hope they put you in diamonds i'm sure they will um i think i'll be i know which one because i opened for andrew shultz and aziz at radio city once and so i remember the dressing room that he got yeah it's like you walk down a hallway to the left is like a seating area with like low light and then you keep going into the other left is like the mirror like yeah all the rockettes dressing room like all those chairs yeah yeah

it's very cool um no because uh yeah we becca and i met because she was doing broadway and i was trying to do broadway but i can't sing and then we knew that's how we met each other we were auditioning for the same role shocker um even though i'm middle school what roles did you do on broadway i didn't know this i did rock of ages for three years did you ever see that it's like he came in after i left and then i did actually go on the tour with him i think he was touring or something i don't remember but i do remember the final performance i was living in la at the time when the show was closing. And I went back for the final performance in like 2015. And that Frankie was doing it. And then we all went to a strip club. And I think, yeah, it was me and

Frankie and someone else to the strip club. And I've never had more fun in my whole life. And that was the last time I've seen him. I went to a strip club once with Trixie Mattel and comics named Reese Nicholson and Solomon Georgiou in Montreal. And it was maybe the most insane night of our lives it's so fun a strip club they get they don't they like everything vag out like we were in shock and trixie was still in full drag and even like jaw to the ground like we couldn't believe what we were watching like we were so culture shocked by it we're like oh my god they're like basically on stage yeah new york's pretty conservative when it comes to the strip clubs which is surprising i've never been to a strip club in new york yeah it's not i mean they they

at them you used to sing at them yeah before i was a stand-up i was like 21 or 22 and there was this like cabaret group that would go around all gay strip clubs in chicago and it was like drag queens dancers and i was the singer so and what we would do is like we would go to these strip clubs and like there would be like a stripper one of them had a giant tattoo on his chest that said never give up i was like and then um the basement was usually like a guy from poland in a thong jacking off in a corner to get hard while this drag queen was putting on powder and she said every week I've got a 50 50 chance of getting a RuPaul's Drag Race I was like girl so does my mom like that doesn't make like those statistics don't make sense and then they would have these like

really shitty dancers go up and I'm still friends with some of them and then I would go up and sing like Mariah Carey so I'm up there like and forever and they're like throwing peanuts at me like take it off like it was wild i did that for a full year didn't lady gaga do that in a star is born isn't that the beginning of a star is born i swear to god it is but honestly you're right um listen you have to go do other things but i am obsessed with you and this memoir like first of all hold out as long as you can to write this memoir because it's too incredible um like write 10 more cookbooks and like really share it up like wait until the very end because this story the story of your life is so incredible congratulations to you like what a journey

and you're just like a you're a blooming onion at outback I mean I hate to say it but you just you peel away the layers and they get better and better um you guys you can go it's probably sold out you can't actually get tickets anymore but if you want tickets to go see Mateo uh it's Mateo Lane comedy you're already following him on Instagram and TikTok um and his brand new book let's make this a New York times bestseller is out today. Your pasta sucks. It's a great gift. It's a beautiful book.

It's a gift for your gaze. It's a gift for your girls. It's a gift for your grandmother. Okay. Everyone's going to love it. And on May 16th, you can watch his brand new Hulu. Not Netflix,

not Netflix. Not Netflix. And we're so excited for you and we will see you next Tuesday. Lady gang is produced by podcast one with podcasting production assistance from Steve Delameter, Derek Haley, editing by Jared Monaco, and social support from Kali Correra. And mastermind evil genius from Kelty Knight.

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