LadyGang - Darren Criss and Este Haim

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

Actor, singer, songwriter, Darren Criss and Este Haim of the band Haim stop by the podcast and show the ladies the true meaning of cool. And while Keltie may be singing more than the two musicians themselves, find out who’s in perfect harmony with Darren to know him best. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Everlane: Go to everlane.com/ladygang and sign up for 10% off your first order plus free shipping. Public: Use code LADY when you download the app and get up to $50 in free stock to get started in growing your portfolio! ThirdLove: Go to ThirdLove.com/ladygang now to find your perfect-fitting bra and get 20% off your first purchase! Away: Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials at AwayTravel.com/ladygang  Better Help: Get 10% off your first month of online therapy at betterhelp.com/ladygang  Addyi: Visit screamforicecreamagain.com to learn how to sweeten your sex life. Starbucks: What gives you energy? Find your Starbucks Tripleshot Energy online or at your local store.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome to the lady gang i am becca tobin here with jack vanik and kelty knight hello everyone hello welcome to your wonderful week we're so excited to have you here and we are officially in cool this week I'm so excited about our guests. Me too. I mean, one half of our guests is wonderful and we all love him very much, but the second half of our guests, I'm super like a little bit of a super fan of, and I'm not going to, I'm not going to tell her while we're doing the interview. Cause I don't want to make her uncomfortable, but it's exciting. Did you know that I actually used to

send Heim clothes back in the day? Jack Vanna clothes. Yep. Did they ever wear them? Yep. Like all the time i just don't know it was more her sister that i sent him to but i don't i wouldn't think that she remembered me but that's my little fun fact do you think that if we played their song they would sue us like on the podcast their record label probably would yeah they're really successful um very you know they're no joke it's a big deal i feel like you know normally we're just a bunch of losers on this podcast. And I feel like I just got cool. I might wear all black and just do my brows only. So chic. Well, I feel like that might look strange. Well, let's get into it. It's time for good week. Yes, it is. Bad week. Oh no. Who wants to go first? I'll go. Okay. My good week

is you know how i talk about all the time that i cheat on jared in my dreams yes so i found out that jared cheats on you he cheats on me in his dreams with who as well kill her so he says that his cheating dreams are usually like me bringing another friend or like a gal into the dream and then he's gonna like go off with that other person but then he gets too excited like about the possibility that he always like wakes himself up before the cheating actually happens no so like it's the right jared you guys are really sexual in your dreams i can't remember the last sex dream i had really no i'm in an asexual period of my life dreams not dreams i only have sex dreams when

i'm working with straight dudes oh about them yeah not always about them but i think it's because like we're never around straight guys really dudes that aren't our husbands yeah you need like a shitty piece of shit douchebag yeah yeah it's the boys like i used to have so many sex dreams about this guy that i did rock of ages with because you just was it constantine dirtbag not a dirt bag like this guy wasn't a dirt bag like he was he was lovely but he just was like so hot yeah it slept with like thousands of women yes and i'm like give me a piece of that and i had it in my dreams a lot yeah you're subconscious it just like lets you experience okay so that was my good week my bad week is so um somebody got on my amazon account and my walmart

account, there's like been a lot of things happening in the fraud world in my life. So I had to go and like dispute some of these charges on my credit card or on the account. So I was on customer service with Amazon and he's like going through all these charges and I'm like saying yes or no. And then finally he gets to the last one. He was like, he's like, um, a multi-pack of gas x extra strength was that you or not no i was like there was yes sir that was me oh my god it's so good i am a less embarrassing if it's like did you buy a 19 inch dildo and you're like i sure did but it's like i am very gassy thank you so much for letting me know that last me one month's work. Yes. Like immediately. That can't be good for you. Okay. I know. I

actually, I do take it a lot. So that's a doctor that's listening. I don't think any doctors are listening, but if any are, let me know if I should not be taking gas X so often. Anyways, bad week. Oh, okay. Um, I'll go. Uh, my bad week is that I am really embarrassed about some habits that I have and i just thought about it when zach's out of town um i don't go to the grocery store i'm i don't go out of my way to order food in i do this thing where i just like make it work whatever is in the house like what the ever is in the freezer the fridge the pantry never a lot to choose from sometimes i have daily harvest sometimes i don't because i'm already i've already eaten all of it sometimes you get a block of cheese and cut the mold off i mean we

y'all do it. Okay, good. This makes me feel better. So I was like eating dinner quote in quotes dinner last night. And I'm like, this is so gross. I don't, Zach would never dare feed himself like this. Like he would be so horrified to see what I made myself for dinner. It was like a tortilla wrap with a quarter of an avocado. Cause it was the only part of the avocado that wasn't brown. sir kensington special sauce that like yeah like mayo whatever and some pickles and i wrapped it in this tortilla and chowed down sounds good it was pretty delicious but i was just so grossed out i was like i'm a college kid this is just grow up go order something or get something delivered. Like, is that so hard? But it is. Like I hate feeding myself anyways. So that,

that was my bad week. I was like, I'm disgusting pig. My good week is delayed because I forgot to talk about this in the last couple episodes. There was a big announcements made in housewives history. Heather Dubrow. Oh my God. Yep. Going back to the housewives of orange County. And I am stoked wait was she always orange county i thought she was beverly hills always orange county oh she said she'd never go back and here she is and i can't wait to see her and be like you said never never say never she's in back and i am gonna see if maybe we could have lunch while she's filming oh my god you want to get a little cameo on the show this is it i just this is your man i so badly wanted they needed it like they're doing a restructure of oc and they needed it

they did they got rid of who's on it well the only person that i think is still still going to be there is shannon i think it's going to be shannon heather and then maybe some new people because brahman's not going back elizabeth's not going back i'm available i mean but you don't in orange county i could live in orange county for a job opportunity like this i actually i would love would kill no to see kelty on housewives so bad at housewives she can't get in the dirt she cannot get in the mud she's so bad when there's drama yeah that's true like you can't buy bad by bad you mean awesome because i just listen and i think of a solution no it's bad for tv it's bad for tv god i can get in there and really stir

some shit up you could yeah can pee in a purse bitch i mean i feel like that's like your your end goal needs to be a housewife at some point i feel like it's built for you i have something controversial to say about the housewives of beverly hills too what you have time right yeah um they kind of are starting to look like clowns the way that they're like dressing up and doing glam and wearing like full head-to-toe like louis vuitton or head-to-toe gucci like i get it do you i'm not gonna like bash them but i'm sort well i did i just did i said they look like clowns it's not a bash but it's just i know what you mean it's everything is like a costume many looks because it used to be just the confessional looks and then you went to the dinner and you

were normal person right now it's like costume all the time and i'm like you know what lisa i enjoy a palm print unitard in your confessional i don't need it at vaughn's well and yeah when they're like doing their own hair and makeup i think sometimes too and they're still wearing these like matching bright no one but they're all getting glam they're all getting glam nobody's in their own hair these days and there's a new housewife on Beverly Hills who I really like and she actually made a joke about how like her older friends because she's around our age and then these women are 40s 50s she's like yeah some of my older friends in Beverly Hills they dress up and it's a little over the top and it kind of ages them or like she said something along the

lines of that it was a little shady but I just I'm sort of cut like it's it's kind of a bummer They're all like competing to be, it's like Jane. Yeah. They're all trying to be Erica Jane season, Erica's first season. And it's not, not great. Nope. All right. I'll tell you what else is not great. Bad week. So as you know, I'm a big fan of the home edit and I'm a big fan of taking things out of the boxes. They came in and putting them in other boxes and clear boxes that I paid $20 for and then cricketed. So over the last few weeks, I've completely redone my pantry. it's gorgeous and i finally went to use one of my pantry items it was quinoa and well i have such sexy mature problems this season of lady gang i bet i know what you did you threw away the box

that tells you how to prepare the quinoa come on that's like i do that every time this is real i opened the quinoa i was about to pour it into my rice maker and what it's infested with bugs ew so my pantry is not secure the uh little vacuum top seals not secure bug got in there reproduced more bugs than quinoa now my friend said my friend said that the bug probably came in the quinoa and it's been there the whole time and a live bug a live bug came in the quinoa from the quinoa factory and then multiplied either way is disgusting probably will never eat quinoa again okay at least you like didn't skim through the process of making it because you could have really cooked that bug right and all of its little babies right into your quinoa not noticed

i mean you wouldn't notice because quinoa is a multi-faceted grain yeah has so many colors has a lot of colors a lot of textures okay here's my good week and i think this is a great way to lead into our episode, especially cause it's a special episode. Someone, uh, I read was reading. I don't know where I found it, but I found this line, choose your hard. And it really spoke to me because it's like, I was feeling overwhelmed and I was like, everything is hard. Everything is hard. And then I was like, but is it that hard? Like I've chosen these roads of hard in my life. I've chosen to go to therapy and deal with some like shit I've chosen to fucking renovate my house a hell of my own making like I've chosen my hard but it's not the same hard that I had

when I was like cocktail waitressing till four in the morning and you know couldn't afford rent or the hard of like doing rockets and being like literally my vertebrae is breaking like I have a broken foot and I'm just gonna keep kicking like you know you have to choose your heart and i just liked that saying because it wasn't like that thing of like one day you'll get to a place where everything will be perfect everything will be seamless everything will be easy that's impossible but you choose your heart and i think sometimes like i was just thinking like lady gang and life and all of it is hard but like i like this heart and i was i'm happy to choose this hard because it brings me a lot of joy and that's what i wanted to say my good week oh cool see you

guys soon hello lady gang this week's theme for divulging all your secrets and coming into the lady confessional is celebrities i'm sure i have a few million of these secrets you might even see some in the upcoming book have you hooked up with a celebrity have you ever seen a celebrity behaving badly have you been working for a celebrity and you're ready to dish and tell us all the bad things about said celebrity i hope so those are my favorite secrets so do us a favor and write them into theladysecrets.com. And it's completely anonymous. We can't trace you. Don't you worry. Your boss will never know if that boss is a nasty celebrity. And you can also call it into 1-844-SEXY-LADY, our hotline, 1-844-SEXY-LADY, S-X-Y-LADY.

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perfect fitting bra 20 off your first purchase that's thirdlove.com slash lady gang for 20 off today now back to the lady gang look at these like pretty put together like all their they got their mics on they're all camera ready they have all their professional gear like we've only done three episodes of our show but just comparatively i feel like we're the the scrappy bastard cousins of the really well put together fairy tale stepsisters that is the lady gang. We have a lot to learn

is what Darren's trying to say. But Darren, you're always going to be like my scrappy shittier sibling. The only thing I just said was a compliment to me, for sure. That wasn't a put down. I was just setting the scale. Just reminding everybody

which cast we were in. Where you stand. He is the Emmy and golden globe winning actor singer songwriter producer who plays seven instruments and for some reason one time during our podcast we took a photo of him with no shirt on and now i have it framed in my house face face a grammy nominated third of the band heim heim heim wow i knew i was gonna fuck that up i practiced all night this is so embarrassing and she wasn't there tuesday night at the olive garden you know together they've launched a brand new podcast that thing i do

and in honor of them i'm going to sing their intro please welcome to the lady gang darren and hey good one um how did the podcast come together um i bullied darren chris into being on a podcast with me yep that's oh yeah that's that's correct i'm a full-blown bully i we we've had this you know darren and i have this long-standing i think love not only for each other but for this uh this movie called that thing you do oh good and um i think we quote it to each other almost every time we talk and i would always say you know i could probably do that thing you do as a one woman show to which i said you should call it sd hyams that thing i do and i would see it in like a black box on you know in north hollywood yeah sd hyams that thing i do and it's just a one-woman show of her

in a you know on a 40-person theater just doing the whole thing as herself and i was like you let me know when you want to produce that and that's just a joke that has always tickled me um but be be careful what you joke about because then she was like i love that as a thing we should like do a podcast called that thing i do because during the course of the quarantine we would facetime like every couple weeks just updating each other on what the was going on and uh she's like we should we should record that conversation we just had was a podcast and i was like sd we can't like i i can't be another hollywood like schmo coming in being like check out my podcast what am i the lady gang like i can only do so many things with my time actually i'm being

i'm being cheeky but you you know you guys are smashing the game you've done so well i've literally watched from the front seat the lady gang explode and do super well and so once i see that i'm like i can't i can't compete with that it's it is intimidating thank you for taking the words out of my mouth so it's a saturated market but esty being the charm the snake charmer she is uh slash yeah the pragmatist the pragmatist in me went like what the else am i doing right now so um but come on time also i would be let's i'll be real i'm being i'm being jokey as i do with with all the women on this podcast but i am uh you know i would be so lucky especially you know Essie's a rock star.

I mean, yeah, literally. We have so many sides that complement each other in our professional and creative lives that, you know, I said no simply because I didn't think I'd have the fortitude to keep it up because of all these random other things that I'm trying to keep going. But, dude, Essie makes – I have more to gain from this than Essie does. Well, that's honestly what I thought. when i saw the ew thing i was like wow way to jump on the fucking cool bandwagon grab those grab those hotels she was one with relevant she was the brilliant one with the idea of that amazing photo shoot so she's like coming out with all these really good ideas the photo shoot is amazing no this this woman shows up to the brit awards wearing the row and then in the photo it's

like thanks the row the Olsons don't lend people clothes like you have to be next do when you're home when you get to wear a row on a red carpet I'm sorry I'm gonna simply just sit here and take it because I will wear that a hundred percent I felt like I truly did feel like the bell of the ball but I I don't know if you did you guys see the one I don't even know if I would call it a snafu on my part um I did not I was wearing for those that didn't see the photo I'm wearing like a very low cut uh a blazer tucked into pants it's not it's not uh a onesie that was a blazer talked into pants with nothing under said blazer and chose not to wear tape to tape down oh i love that though how'd that go i was like fine whatever rock and roll right you caution to the wind but

because of that my breasts made many my nipples actually specifically not not cleavage my nipples made uh national news thank god did you have a nip slip and did it get photographed like 20 oh amazing like during a live telecast yes i love this for you no regrets no regret i anything and i tweeted i tweeted this i basically uh there's one x in particular that i know was watching the brits and i know he saw my nips and he was and he missed and he missed them they're great that is the one thing i will say about uh my body i love my breasts that's so nice let him hang out specifically or your nipples specifically both both i think they have that's nice really great nipples and i have great breasts thanks mom see i have terrible breasts but i have a beautiful

nipple the nipple hair is questionable which we know but i do agree i've seen many nipples i was even in a topless show so i've seen like all the nipples that of like the rainbow of nipples of the world and i think i have some of the prettiest nipples i've ever seen now that harry is so you gotta like weed through the garden to get to him but once you get to the garden she's beautiful it's worth it you have to earn those nips i would love for you to maybe peruse the photos online and tell me what you think oh i'm looking at them right now we're gonna google um i think it is chic as however i am unfortunately not seeing a nip slip in any of the photos i'm looking at they probably what do i google st hyam just look up hyam britt awards oh no i see it oh

wow see what i mean show us it's really nice the joys of zoom podcasts i mean oh my god that's a nice nipple it actually looks like a nipple that really thrills you when when you're in a sexual intercourse and it starts to get hard you know like that is what we're going that's literally what you it should be a great boob it should be like under the diff wow dictionary definition of nipple like it's just like a perfect nipple it looks like a renaissance painting of like what someone would have painted the perfect nipple as i'm telling you that is the that is that true like i will i will take that compliment because i i believe it as well congratulations that i'm pretty sure was watching the bird awards yeah sorry not sorry sorry not

sorry look what you're missing this is the thing i was gonna say is that when i listen to your new podcast that thing i do available wherever you get podcasts um within the first four and a half minutes you were talking about your virginity and I was like you know what this is gonna work because this is the attitude you have to have with podcasting is that you can't come on your cool Hollywood podcast and and still be cool you know what I mean you gotta come and share your shit and be relatable and the fact that like episode one she was like I was a late virgin I was like oh okay well you guys are kind of the perfect duo because no matter the media training that darren chris has received he is like impenetrable for being appropriate so it's like

it is absolutely perfection what you guys have going on yes thank you so much becca i mean we we yeah we i mean again like that was part of the reason why i wanted to do this podcast is because every time darren and i would talk even before having the idea of doing a podcast i was like i wish someone was recording this yeah yeah yeah you know just for like prosperity's sake you know but for concurrently we'd be like god we should record of that and then we'd be like no there's about maybe 50 of that that would probably get us can't make it that's why you edit afterwards you just take out all the really inappropriate shit you say always edit always like i said it is a nice balance it is a nice balance and i'm having a great time doing it

And Darren is a treasure and a pleasure to not only be friends with, but to do this with and be my partner in crime. What is the thing that you guys cannot wait for the universe to find out about the other person? Like, is there just something that people just don't know about Darren or Esty? I mean, I think we're both learning a lot about each other via this because our conversations are always when we're catching up. It's always about what's going on in the world or what's going on in our, like, creative lives.

Because of this podcast, we get in the weeds with personal stuff that we're still learning about each other. And I'm sure that happens for you guys, despite how much time you spend with each other. It's just like every now and then a topic comes up and you go, what? How the fuck did I not know that? So I don't know. I mean, we're still, we're babies, guys. We're still in our infancy as far as, you know, getting this podcast on the road. So I don't know.

i feel like i think of it after this podcast i don't know what would you say i think every time i every time um darren and i have done this and even prior darren would be in like pretty much in the position that he's in right now in his studio and i'll just say like i'll i'll randomly drop like a lyric because that's how i talk and he'll know the song and know how to play it on guitar like insane i hate that like immediately like does it like the rolodex of music that darren has in his brain is astounding it's i don't have the i don't have the ability to do that it takes me like i need a little bit of time to figure out the chords and you know i i need to do a little bit of mental gymnastics it is something that is so ingrained in darren and i've always been

impressed by that i'm not sure the audience at large knows that would you consider darren sorry darren we're gonna give you a compliment so you want to hear this please go for it hit me i've always considered darren a bit of a savant with music yeah 100 it's scary it's really scary if either of you know like a job where any of those skills would be useful or lucrative um aaron you're a musician i know i know podcasting a dueling piano bar that is kind of the only place where knowing a song off the top of your head and knowing the rest of it is somewhat useful because other than that it's kind of a party trick with my friends and everybody loves a dueling piano bar like you'd get constant praise i think

so i um we're all we're all angelinos correct yes not anymore well not anymore but like we've spent a lot of time in los angeles collectives okay so a little bit of asti heim history i used to work at city walk oh there's a cinema there's a cinema there but more importantly there is a howl at the moon there oh the dueling piano bar yes did you play the piano okay so this is what this is this is what happened so i used to work at the daily grill i was a hostess at the daily grill for like three years um met some really really amazing fun people no one ever came in and when they did it was it was a miracle and we would celebrate them and dote on them truly great service um and then at the end of the night a lot of the people that

i worked with would go up for a drink at how at the moon because they knew all the bartenders and they would give us free drinks and stuff and i was i had like just turned 21 when i started working there so of course i think all of my uh my co-workers were like we're gonna we're gonna give essie her first white russian which i'd never had before no don't drink that it's milk it'll make you talking about drinks so we talked about like dudes okay okay so we go to this bar we go to this bar truly i i get my first white russian and i think i said out loud like this is mother's milk not to bring it back to like nipples and but truly this is mother's milk and i think i had like seven or eight of them no oh my god how was your stomach 21 drink milk like that

um the lactose intolerance that runs within the heim family is astounding um so um so yes but that that didn't that didn't come about until like the next day when i was like nursing my own before that when i was at hell at the moon i was so drunk that i there were you know two people at the at the piano but there's also a drum set oh so i go on stage and start playing drums and singing backup for the dueling piano people and I think they're used to people doing that and then ushering them off stage but because I was so good at it even yes they let me stay the whole time oh my god amazing I was I'm playing a star was born really Joel songs I'm playing like maracas I'm doing like percussion if you will and I'm playing a full set and then by the end of the

night the guys came up to me and they were like if you want to work here we'll hire you amazing wait were you like playing hooky from the daily grill to go it was after it was after because the daily daily grill closed at like call it like nine or ten and then how the moon was up until two how really after anyway long story short i didn't i didn't have the confidence to truly do that as like a job job so i would just come in and jam with them oh that's even better though i'm looking up security video sd haim how the moon 2008 so really you were discovered at city yes i yes shitty walk that's that's the dream right that's why people go to city walk it's why i go i think that's why it's amazing city walk and discovered

gonna be a star it's true i mean i i used to um because there would be like bay i would i mean i was so that girl there would be like people playing on at city walk and i would go up and i mean i would just i would come sing with them i would ask if i can play bass with them but you know what it worked it worked this is putting me in a really difficult position guys because i it just happened so easily for darren they plucked him out of nowhere instruments fine here's a tv show now here's a mini series now here's another mini series yeah and here's a bunch of three unappreciative blondes um somebody's gonna bring you back down darren you know that's our job i'm conflicted here guys because while i like the story about

how the moon we are talking about a direct competitor to tramp stamp grannies which is The only piano bar that should matter in Los Angeles. Totally different place. How is the moon still around? It is. It's it's a well. So how the moon is a dueling piano bar, which is two pianos playing and then they have drums and they go to like a band and everything.

Whereas Tramp Sam Granny's is more of like a New York City piano bar. There's just a piano and show tunes and a bunch of drunk people. Well, I think ours is way more sexy. I just want to say that when the lady comes through and they have before, they know that it's fun. estee hain hasn't been yet but hopefully we open soon yes i'm only going forever i'm only going if i can be uh the fourth time sister and sing some kind of a fun disney medley oh are we negotiating terms for yes we are get your boyfriend let's do some business let's do business

the reason i didn't bring up tramp stamp grannies it's actually on my show sheet here is because we sort of have some awkward business between us darren because i put a large sum deposit down to my have my 40th husband's 40th birthday at grammys and then covet hit and you still we have that deposit so there is a party to we're gonna have 30 oh shit i'm gonna have the food deposit so i'm gonna throw you a solid awesome i'm gonna tell you you know we're just gonna keep that deposit because as soon as we actually make good on this business transaction yeah you'll be 40 so maybe you think it's gonna be for my 40th birthday you maybe maybe you maybe you don't want to be 40 forever and we'll just keep that deposit and as long as we don't have

birthday party both people win never be 40 can we only can we only sing you be 40 songs amazing that was good that's the thing that i like to say about our podcast when people ask me when you just said what's the thing you want people to know estee hain is a perfect tie-in uh estee is a obviously a show woman through and through and through uh like a true cad vaudevillian borscht belt you know like one-liner queen and uh one of the you know of the many appealing things of the heim sisters aside from being incredible musicians rock stars good songwriters easy on the eyes all the good things just amazing they have all the things she is such a in funny son of a bitch and i uh love that um you know one of the main bylines of our podcast

is i'm i'm probably primarily known as a i'm a musician who's probably primarily known as an actor whereas uh esty is an actress like a comedian primarily known as a musician and we kind of meet right in the middle and esty has this really kind of rich history of studying theater and doing a lot of theater in school and went to school for all that stuff and then kind of somewhere along the way you know the the fates that be kind of pushed her into this amazing career that she's had as a musician similar to how i was doing music even though i was doing acting too the acting thing kind of caught wind and then i just kind of went with that sale but um yeah i think her being such a a fun personality and actress and i think the word is comedian like

in the true sense of that word if you look it up it's like not necessarily a funny person but like you know like you just you have that it's that uh i think this is a the podcast is a great venue for you to showcase oh thank you I have a face for radio clearly we all do there's a face for radio was it I have a face for radio it's like a face for radio oh and a voice for print oh I haven't heard that one yet I love that though that's amazing I was gonna ask you this Darren this one's not for you unfortunately but Estee I my life goal is to be cool and I know it's not going to happen because i want that i want that goal she wants desperately just break it down for us uncool people like what the is life like when you're cool like do you try to be cool

are you just so effortless like when you put on that weird kitten heel and it looks good on you and on me it's like oh my god no one's gonna have sex with her like how do you do that i am gonna butt in here even though i wasn't invited because our last episode one of the the pinnacles of me saying wow that's really cool and i just listened back to i was like that's not cool at all you think it's cool but it's not esty is so cool that we were talking about her playing a festival in reading and leads where people were throwing piss at the state literally but like peeing in cups and throwing piss at the stage and she was like yeah i probably got urine in my mouth but you know what rock and roll and i went i was and i was so swept up in her confidence i was like yeah

rock and roll that's cool and then listening to it back i'm like that's awful that's not cool at all so you catch diseases that's terrible but i just because she has so much swag i was like yeah totally rock and roll yeah that's cool yeah that's cool like no yeah you guys i think i i'm really i'm gonna put i'm gonna put the brakes on this conversation right now because there is we we will have a stud city hang and you will quickly realize there is not a cool bone in this bitch's body it's not it's it's it's st 2.0 when she's on stage yeah she's cool i would like to think i'm just the better version of of st when i'm on stage and i'm playing and it's the only i mean i said it on on our last episode it's the only thing that brings me true joy is being on stage

and playing and i'm sure as dancers it probably felt the same way when you're dancing you feel you're like in your in your body and you're like i can literally i can move mountains right now because i haven't had joy since 2009 let's be honest i feel bad for you you can like take a you can like take a fun like well now i do bad down the street from you yeah no it is i just don't promote no we don't need anymore she's all set let's let it lie everything has a season you know do everything let it let it live in the past where it belongs um is are you gonna now bring darren on tour as the fourth time sister darren darren thank you for mentioning the long con that i've been trying to instill into you like well i do have i know you're anything like me i know

but this is coming from darren chris who i had to bully to spend an hour a week with me i don't think has time for me or has time to come on tour with me and be on a bus with a bunch of you know hooligans i would do it if i didn't think it was flattering myself because these girls on stage are so electric yeah that i would just be the fart in the corner darren can we go and wear their merch and sit in the front row when they play austin you got austin i mean austin is a hundred percent going hopefully going to happen as soon as it's as soon as everything opens up but we announced a show today or well it went on sale today we're playing the santa barbara yeah oh yeah life is beautiful who wants to go to vegas

or dc we can go to all things go festival it's us and charlie xcx and yes yes all of them when we come back we're playing a game called do you know darren today's podcast is sponsored by better help so if you're feeling depressed or struggling with relationships or maybe having difficulty sleeping or just meeting your goals better help offers online professional counselors who can listen and help so better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapists. And the best part is you can start communicating in under 48 hours. So this is not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It is professional counseling done securely online. And there's even a broad range of expertise available, which may not be locally

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and sign up. Happy shopping. A huge thank you to Public.com for being a sponsor on Lady Gang today. So, you know, we learned a lot of things in high school that we're never going to use, like the Pythagorean theorem. Never used it once, but you know what I really could have used some help in? Learning how to invest. But with Public.com, you can invest with any amount of money and invest thousands of dollars stocks with just one dollar. So when you invest with Public.com, you're never investing alone, which I love. I never feel like I have any support when I'm trying to invest on my own.

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in his life here and he has made us all feel like we're the special snowflake in his life and now the three of us are here so jack take it away okay so this game is called do you know darren very creative name so in the game we will ask in this game do i get you're in it you're in it yeah yeah yeah you're i'm the host okay so in this game we will ask darren question and each lady of his life will try to match what darren says who will know him best the emmy winning journalist who's been interviewing for interviewing him for decades his bleak host star that spends hours and hours on set with him or his podcast partner will she be in perfect harmony with his answers okay all right ask darren a question darren's gonna write down his answer we're gonna

write down what we think darren's gonna say we're trying to get a match we're trying to get in his head okay okay games and stuff this is so impressive okay so the first question is who would darren say is the sexiest person in hollywood wait so i so you answer who you think the sexiest person in hollywood you're just being honest in this game yeah okay okay good so i'm not trying to write somebody who you might think no no no you're just answering honestly to these questions show it so now we're just waiting on this first show or is it funnier if we show ours each of us let's show us okay would you like to see mine john stamos oh my answer is darren chris that's what i thought he would say um i said rita wilson

i mean these are all good answers uh i actually thought about putting stamos because that would be something that you guys would say i would say oh that's not the game i hope you guys brought your spoons for this schmaltz but uh the answer is sd hi oh wow kiss ass kiss ass i was gonna do that can i tell you but this is but you the reason i because uh mia is a nice greek woman yeah yes she is so i thought about other nice greek women in hollywood and that's oh i like that angle a greco i didn't know she's greek i thought she's great no great that was a great yeah that was good okay what's next is pretty damn sexy i thought she was greek i thought that was the whole reason

she wanted to do i was being i was being a kiss ass i was putting my next question if darren has a hundred dollars what would he spend it on hard all right all right becca go i said food i said signed becca tobin merchandise on ebay way cheaper that's that's yeah i was gonna say that's way too you can get a lot for a hundred dollars i can get i can get a hundred signed becca dolls you could get nudes for less yeah literally just google them okay yeah um i said phantom planet merch oh my god i will say by property of of esty being the closest and because i didn't even think of that but the answer that is the answer esty heim is correct but i did say a show uh broadway a

movie concert of any kind etc etc okay knows me better than myself because that is more correct they had a show like a quarantine show that they did and they had different packages for people to like check in on their live show and i paid like the most expensive package for like a meet and greed and a t-shirt and all this stuff and i didn't like and i put it i didn't put under my name i think i put it like like poopy mcfartin's or something like that i didn't even care about having the merch i just like wanted to give them my money you wanted yeah i literally just did the same thing with paul abdul she's having a big live stream this sunday i'm doing that's yeah you get it i've met her in real life but i like the idea that they they slotted poopy mcfartin's in it like

8 30 on like a thursday for a meet and greet and like well i guess he's not going to show up They were probably so terrified of who that would end up being. I know I should have showed up. Damn it. I'm so excited. Hotel reservation. Yeah. Okay.

Next question is what would Darren say was the worst cover ever performed on glee? That's too hard. There's too many like versions of songs. Did I just accidentally say that they were all bad? I don't think that was what I meant was there's too many options to choose from. If you had an opinion.

well there were definitely times where we would get a script and be like hmm they ran out of money on this episode i think this one's i need to find i think becca obviously has an unfair advantage here uh yeah becca should i go the one that's conventionally understood to be the answer or should i go with my personal personal wait first say what the one is though there is one that is conventionally understood as a huge oops which is what let's see don't stop believing no i think i i think i'm gonna write it down okay i part me being the you know happy-go-lucky fart i am i i i enjoyed it because i thought it was so absurd um because i was wrapped up in but uh it is why i understood um that this was

and i just just so becca and i can say that we do this i have two i have two possibles i'm gonna put down okay okay this is uh i'm guessing holding out for a hero performed by kitty wild that was one of my favorites uh thank you uh esty becca don't give your answer because we're gonna do the same does esty know even know any songs it's too there's no way esty would have known every single like it's there's there's too many yeah okay i mean she's not a gleek you can skip this you can skip this i think i'm gonna have to skip i'm gonna have to yeah exactly there's no way that esty would know that shit my i think what it is is what does the fox say what does the fox say oh my god what you guys did that with puppets it was it was like an

acid trip that wouldn't end it was so weird it was like it was one of these 15 minutes of like fame for this song and i don't know they just decided to put it in the show with no i had fun because it was ridiculous but we were we were so deep into the show we were like fourth or fifth season and we were just sort of like delirious from the absurdity of it that it was for me i you know the more absurd it is the funnier it is to me so i'm sure there were people who were like what the is this and i was like i know right it's amazing they were pissed people were pissed yeah like what are we doing it's just so bizarre one more one more question jack you pick the one you want okay um darren is in jail what crime did he commit man remember when you were so good in

the versace show i really got scared of you i was like oh you were friends and amazing in that show i really believed you i was like this is method he's a psychopath oh yeah i know i know wow my writing's so terrible okay i'm ready okay i'm ready becca okay okay this i have to explain i said plagiarism because he has so many weird things he remembers like his brain is so weird and scary that it holds on to the music and lyrics and poems and i feel like it would be very easy to have all that floating around in your head and not even mean to but rip something or someone off i mean that's what happens when in writing in general right like it's unconscious thievery of like all the things that you've ever been influenced by but i don't think you can go to

jail for that i mean not with that you probably can i put trespassing i feel like darren's always at the party and he's always where he's not supposed to be again for your readers you don't know kelty writes like a three-year-old bird um yeah that doesn't surprise anybody oh my god kelty okay esty what is chris uh darren chris going to jail for i said stealing merch from the phantom planet march oh my god again esty is probably the closest to what happened but um just in line with our joke i actually said exploiting becca tobin's nudes for oh yeah for money for those anymore you can get don't worry i give i i'd upsell them just by like a dollar or two

i do i do want us to answer one question and jack i want you to answer this too this was a final question uh third about me when do we i want to do i want to play an sd version after when you guys get this is actually about sd this is sd oh okay good okay so third eye blinds playing a show yes heim's playing a show they're both playing the same night what show does darren chris go to i know what i would do i know what i would do because i've been to many third eye blind shows yeah not great um he's very uh inconsistent oh oh bummer so do you guys have i have one question do you guys have to answer that yeah yeah there's an answer i'm going to third eye blind yeah because you know you can go anytime if you

get out of the heim show you would go see third eye blind well that was going to be my answer i would yeah i would hire one of the lady gang ladies to be me to fill it would be becca yeah you all have the hair for it so it really doesn't matter you do yeah perfect uh wonderful and i would go to see third eye blind you know speaking of third eye blind this all kind of got started because of and i know you some of you guys have been so sd has been a frequent guest at a lot of our 90s parties that we throw and esty's done a couple what you've done you did shania once you did that was awesome once yeah kelsey you guys were there yeah it's great so um yeah we i go back with these with these girls esty but um they uh i missed that i miss it a lot we would do it

like once a year and esty was always so so gracious to come and do it and so this actually really got like catalyzed in february of 2020 before the shutdown like one of the last great parties of like only in last great parties of the year that we threw through this big 90s parties we do me and my buddy ricky and uh we had a ton of people come up and sd was i think you were shooting something like you couldn't make it but the idea was if you get out in time we're locked and loaded for you to come up and sing that thing you do because that thing you do while a 60s song is a song from the 90s yeah we were gonna play it and we were ready to go and i remember asking her beforehand because i knew she wouldn't be able to rehearse it if we if she showed up being like

hey do you do you know all the parts and she was like darren i know the entire movie like the back of my head and that's kind of what instigated this whole thing and then several months later here we are i mean a year and a change with a podcast because of that 90s thing well listen the the kids have to get back to podcasting that thing i do is available wherever you get your podcast every single wednesday it's super freaking cute and they're brand new to the podcast game so if you're listening to lady gang right now and it's tuesday head on over to apple head on over to spotify hit subscribe new little pop-ups will come every wednesday let's give them all the lady gang love make them number one and all that good stuff and um also esty is playing

the santa barbara bowl september 17th before they head out to some dates in europe so go get to that because it's going to be epic and we'll probably be uh in the front row with our sd t shirts on and it's incredible so and becca might be filling in for sd if third eye we don't know we don't know but we're so happy for you and thanks for making time for us you guys you guys thanks for having us guys love you guys podcast mommy and we will see you next tuesday Thanks for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber, Steve Delameter, and Jared Monaco. Make sure you subscribe, rate, and review our podcast.

And if you love it, share it with your friends on social media. Like, oh my god, I just listened to Lady Gang. This episode's so great. Swipe up to listen. And if you really want to, which we know you do, please follow us on social. At Kelty, at Becca, at Jack Vanek, and at The Lady Gang. Sign up for our newsletter at theladygang.com and join our secret Facebook group. It's super fun.

See you next Tuesday. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth. And we're the hosts of Trust Me, the podcast about cults, extreme belief, and the abuse of power. Now on Podcast One. We want to debunk the myth that people who join cults are uneducated because anyone can be manipulated by a narcissist. And we should know we both have been. Join us every week as we explore the world of extreme belief, talk to survivors and experts, and share our own experiences with cults and the abuse of power.

Get new episodes of Trust Me every Wednesday on Podcast One and anywhere you get your podcasts.