LadyGang - Defend the Men! with Odette and Dave Annable

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

The ladies are joined by adorable real-life couple Odette and Dave Annable to get honest about life in the spotlight, being Becca Tobin besties and in a LADYGANG first, we asked our community, "what is the one thing your significant other does that drives you crazy, but you love them anyways?" and we collected those instances of friction and have Dave *defend the men!* This is a hilarious episode full of love, laughs, and many excuses for those beard trimmings in the sink. Check out our greas sponsors!!! KiwiCo: Got curious kids? Get 20% off your first month with code LADY at KiwiCo.com/panda  Nurx: Take control of your reproductive health at Nurx.com/lady  Macy's: Get all your May must haves at Macy's! Remember to shop in store OR at Macys.com  Get your baby’s butt into Huggies’ best fitting diaper! Huggies Little Movers. We got you, baby. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome to lady gang i am becca tobin here with jack vanik and kelty knight kelty just noticed my dress it's from quince oh it's so cute so cute isn't it great you look so good in a puff sleeve thanks guys i'm such a pilgrim you are but it's beautiful no but you have like a little bust showing i do um yeah i like it's one of our sponsors yeah and i just am a real big fan of this brand yeah so cute i got a sweater from them and it's awesome i'm wearing it all the time it's black it's great it's great cashmere

it's black it's like black cashmere it's beautiful what are you wearing a dill earnhardt shirt of honestly that if you ever thought we were the same because we kind of have the same vibe here's the differences yeah i'm dressed like an amish woman jack is in a in a dale earnhardt jr dale earnhardt or hurt uh didn't he die in a fiery crash did he i'm pretty sure you should know that if you're wearing the man name three songs he's a race car no i'm just i'm saying the joke oh god oh my god you're so pretty i'm an idiot okay and kelty's in merch yeah she's doing the work this is her personality she's doing the work yeah all right well it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no who would like to kick it off i'll go first because my bad week is i did

one of the most embarrassing things that a human can do in their life yes queefed in yoga no almost almost as bad i drove the wrong way over a spike strip oh my god i didn't know you could do that oh you can it's the most embarrassing thing i've ever done in my life it's either a bank robber or idiot in that big old jeep so i was going to have a meeting with somebody that we all know and i was running a little actually no i i wasn't running late i was getting my nails done two blocks away and i was like it's kind of cold outside so why don't i drive a little bit closer to park it's may how cold it was pretty cold it was like 60 so i was like why don't i drive a little bit closer there's this place called bay cities it's a sandwich place it's so good and i

was like oh i'll park in their parking lot let me go through the back alleyway so i go to like pull in the sign that there's a spike strip is to the side it's not within view oh so i go to pull in and I was like, that doesn't sound good. Oh, that also doesn't sound good. And I start rolling in and that's when I realized my tires are gone. They're f***ed. Everybody's staring at me. I didn't know yet. So I'm like, now I'm running late to the meeting and I'm like, well, what do I do? I'm just going to park in this one spot and call Jared to like figure it out for me. I park, I look three of my tires are completely flat. Three out of four. That fast? That fast. They don't want you to get away with the money you can't i mean it was basically driving on metal so i go to the

meeting and i call jared he's so pissed because he's like of course i would divorce yeah he's like of course you did of course you he's like i would never do that of course you would do it so he like comes calls triple a does the whole thing of course because the parking lot is so so small they have to have like a certain type of tow truck tow truck to a flatbed one also because i blew all the tires like they can't like just put the spare on yeah so then that it takes like three and a half hours he's pissed i get him fixed whatever i had to replace all four of them because you can't just do three it was two thousand dollars so that's my bad week that's like the price of your car yeah at this point because my car's like 12 years old are we do we think there's

a lawsuit here like is is the signage not well this is what the tow truck guy said he was like i come here all of the time because the sign is it's so it's literally like off to the side like you can't tell he's like i've towed so many cars from this parking lot lady gang lawyers let us know what we can do i know i need some money because there was two thousand dollars oh yeah which i do just eat it okay so i'll charge you more than that to represent you that's true so my good week is i still go into this meeting i'm frazzled but it's like i got i got to still do it was important um i get to it's this place called bodega it's a little coffee wine shop whatever we go to order our food like a thing and our friend was like or my friend was like

is that Owen Wilson? I was like, Oh, I was like, it is. He's ordering coffee in front of us. And I was like, Ooh, I'm going to make sure that we're like setting up our little meeting so I can face him just so I can like, you know, have this love sighting. I swear he was looking at me. Of course he was. You're a beautiful woman. But he, I was not beautiful that day. That was no makeup, hair, slicked back bun. It was dressed like a boy. But when you got a body, like a back road, that's true. He was looking, he was looking at the butt, but he was like, Oh, I'll have a cappuccino and that blonde woman right there with a nice ass what did he say he said something so stupid to the barista and i can't remember what it was maybe he was asking what cold brew was it

was something so dumb and the guy's like it's just cold brewed coffee boomer isn't he yeah he basically a boomer but the good week was i think he was looking at me but he was also on a date with like the most beautiful woman in the world so i don't think so she was so pretty but i'm like what is it that like i don't know if it's just a me thing i always think guys are looking at me when like they probably aren't but like i also don't have like high self-confidence i don't know it's probably are looking at you you're not a dumb ass i think that you're not i think they are looking at you owen wilson you're a tall beautiful blonde woman i also i also wasn't wearing my wedding ring because i just got my nails done and then your poor husband's sweating

outside redoing your tire getting hit on by owen wilson he's like jerry i hope you're not listening to this while you edit it definitely listening and then i came out and i was like i saw owen wilson there he's like great he's like god damn it now we're married and i can never get rid of you he's like i've been sitting on the side of the road for two hours while you're at that meeting looking at owen wilson this is how we know jack and jerry are gonna last because two years ago jared would have been like it's okay babe it's fine i'll sit out here for all day and all night you can't marry that guy he can start that way but then later they have to be like you idiot and you know what i was it was also i was just mad at him because he was gonna be out of

town for my birthday so i was like i had the upper hand because i was pissed at him and then i think that he saw that as a even playing field thing which pissed me off because i'm like okay um my good week is after two and two and some change two years and three months that took a while right we get the idea i was thinking about owen wilson okay he i love him for a while he would have been my hall pass he's so hot yeah um it okay so ford is a little my my i had a boyfriend in junior i his name was danny boyle i've tried to find him on facebook i don't even know if he's still alive to be honest with you where would he have gone well i don't know he's he's not there which is very odd from people from my everyone has a facebook um but he had a huge nose like owen

wilson and i think about danny boy when i see owen wilson and so i would not want owen wilson was my hall pass i just want to tell you that we're like adrian brody i love the nose is that the right now i like amazing nose i like a guy with like a it looks like it's been broken yeah yeah okay so ford officially i am his favorite it has taken over two years for him to prefer me over zach and i just feel really accomplished that is a huge yeah yeah he has three times already today been had a little cry when he's been pulled away from you it's true yeah it's so cute i love it so much there's my mommy mama and as he's pat as he's getting passed by because mommy's working yeah it's great oh that's a great week it's so good my bad week is that up until

this point i was like let's have another kid because i need somebody who loves me more yeah but now that he loves me more i don't know about another kid because i only have eyes for ford now that he has only eyes for me but what if it you know it's gonna flip flop i know i know so i need that backup kid no men boys love their mom oh yeah that's true now that he's attached he's like one of those wolves in twilight what's that called i don't know i didn't see twilight oh you know when you like attach to them oh that's like a sexual thing oh what okay no but remember jacob attached to kristin stewart his lover's daughter no he can't choose who he attaches to oh my god you guys don't watch twilight okay sorry a lot of outraged listeners right now they're yet someone

someone somewhere is yelling with a twilight tattoo with a twilight tattoo being like it was anyway okay yeah so that's my bad week is that now i don't know if i can split my love so we may have an only child because of this reason okay stay tuned i love only child life yeah i think honestly when i saw him i i i don't want to tell you this because i don't want to tell you how to live your life but i saw the two of you you were playing you and zach were holding him and he was like looking out the door or whatever and in my brain my kelty brain went don't have another kid and mess this up it's too cute i know it's too perfect yeah that's literally what i was saying but i didn't want to tell you because i don't know what you're you know i'm not gonna

tell you no zach and i both have been looking at each other throughout the last couple months and like we took him to the park last night and we were like we don't want to fuck this up like it's just good right now yeah but i don't know everyone says that once they become smelly little boys i'm gonna be really craving some other little person but then that one's gonna become a smelly little boy. I know. Right. It's a cycle cycle. Okay. Speaking of smells. Um, okay. My bad week is that I was very excited because a few weeks ago I got to go to the Flamingo Las Vegas and do drag race, which I told you guys about that. Um, but I recently have, I tagged the Flamingo Las Vegas and I have become the new trip advisor for the Flamingo Las Vegas. When people

are mad at the Flamingo Las Vegas, they comment on my post about the Flamingo Las Vegas as if I can do something about it and i what do you mean flamingo i'm staying at the flamingo las vegas right now there's blood on my sheets we've been calling since 5 p.m it's now 1 a.m and our bed has bloody sheets this is disgusting management refuses to reach out our bed and then wait where did you collab with them no it wasn't a collab i just tagged them so they're going through the tagged photos that's so funny i was at their show so i think they think i am important wait is this multiple people or is this one person one person and then they followed up six hours later our bed still has blood on the blood sheet housekeeping and the front desk refused to give us new bedding

wow flamingo clean it up literally first of all this is a show i want to know about things people find in vegas hotels oh that's a good idea because not just like dead bodies and stuff i'm talking about like i know for a fact my friend who used to work at a vegas pool when i was in the peep show told me they find like at least 30 condoms oh for sure every and tampons bloody tampons yeah i want to know i would watch an investigation discovery things in the filter las vegas edition i feel like they used to do a show like that that they would go in with the not room raiders but like a real one but like a rumor i want to know everything and because right now on tiktok there's this thing where airbnb people are being like things people left behind in my

airbnb and they're like a pair of gucci shoes a seltzer like but anyway so wow okay my good week is this is big deal i'm officially in my investor era okay i am an investor in an app um the app we found out about it vivian too told me about alta daily yeah did i already tell you guys i invested yeah yeah no you didn't tell us you invested you told us you worked with them like and they did your closet yeah they did my closet i was trying them out and then i was like am i really gonna use this app you know i'm a paper person yeah i love the app so much i've planned all my vacation outfits, the way it works. It's so cool. It's like a clueless closet and you can, you scan everything in your closet. And then instead of me, like going on Net-A-Porter and revolve and

just shopping all the time, I shop my closet. Cause I forget that I already have a great black body suit. Yeah. And they look, do they need any more investors? I've got about 10 bucks laying around. Yeah, no. And, um, I'm doing, I'm like a PR. Um, I can't remember my title, but I'm like the PR consultant consultant. So I'm going to, I'm a success consultant. we're going to do a filming, a video that we can like give to the press. And I'm really excited about it. Will I ever make any money off it? Probably not. But I felt really excited. You're investing in what you believe. And I feel excited about this girl, Jenny, who runs owns it because she like went to Harvard, but she graduated in three years instead of four.

Like she's smarter. I love to be around smart people. She trains all the AI to like make outfits so you can like buy a new dress. So you bought that dress, you put it in and then you say make me an outfit with this dress and it'll match your jewelry your sunglasses your shoes your bag well it's like all the people that are doing like their capsule collections on tiktok and then putting all the different outfits together yeah that's so cool you can do a capsule or you can just do like i don't know it's really cool so i'm excited about that but i i just felt like oh my god like what do you do are they open to changing the name of it you don't like the name alta yeah i don't know why it is that name i don't like it it needs like a

snappy like closet no closet closet closet i'm sure it's already taken yeah um i have no idea why the name is just my feedback as an investor no i love this i actually wonder well the app isn't out yet it's only on it's only in beta but it's free and i think that's what's really important yeah there's no fee to make your closet and to use it all the time they make money when you they sometimes the ai will suggest no no no not even that um they suggest things so like if you're planning a vacation and then it'll be like hey things that are like missing from your closet you don't have a black flat here's six that you may like and then when you buy it yeah affiliate all right very interesting congrats i'm very excited i'm an investor i'm so smart you've come

a long way since you told us you couldn't pay your credit card bill i know even this that was this year i know isn't that crazy yeah wow how fast the tides turn she's back baby wow also i'm an angel investor, which means it's a very small amount of money. Wow. I thought an angel investor is when they're no. Well, the angel investor is like from 5k to 60 K. Oh, so it's not like I was like, here's $2 million, which I would never, because I don't have that available at this moment in cash oh my god okay bye all right now back to the lady gang our guests today are becca tobin bestie rated honestly it took me 400 years to put this intro together because both of their imdbs combined last pages and pages and pages it's like back to where j-lo had that dress at

the grammys like that's how long they go into the internet she is an actress who starred on house supergirl monk two and a half men new girl astronaut wives and currently she stars on walker on the cw he is a former seventh sexiest man alive in the world and current star of the paramount plus series special ops linus alongside zoe saldana he's also been seen on yellowstone brothers and sisters red band society please welcome becca tobin besties odette and dave annabelle annabelle it was close i should have warned you i know i knew i knew what it was edible um welcome to the lady gang we're so excited also a little like should we be scared yes are we yeah we're like raw dogging it right now we don't know what you're gonna

talk to us about you know and i had a few more credits we don't have to get to them now thank you yeah i did yeah yeah is that a real thing well oh yeah twice over he'll he'll tell you yeah well let's tell us about that because it's interesting um no it's interesting because there's like the person that's on the cover right there's like the george clooney but then inside there's less there's the list and you've made it quite high on the list you know man you know thank you you know first of all i don't really know if it's a numbers thing i think i was on page seven and somewhere you know somewhere somebody got that confused i haven't corrected them it's not true i haven't corrected number seven really do you know who was about like

right above and right below you like who was on the cover uh that one was matt damon wow and my my second time um i think it was patrick dempsey maybe with your that's such patrick dempsey energy it's the gray hair no no it's the vibes it's the yeah it's the vibe it's the vibes um okay so i want to say happy birthday yes it's a birthday happy happy birthday to me what's your birthday wish to be left alone oh great why were you looking at me specifically i would i would love for a 24-hour you know solo getaway i don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon but it would be nice they have two beautiful children they're obviously very busy people yeah but you deserve it maybe you need to just i would take on girl yourself i would do that i'm just throwing out

a lot of hints hoping something will catch well and that's what you have to do with husbands you know because they're dumb and i mean that with love you know i concur okay i fully agree you know actually i've been asking what you've wanted for your birthday for like four and a half months now just to like get ahead of it and it just gets pushed and pushed and pushed he did quietly the other day after our workout say to me you know what can i do what can i do what can i do he was he was very much making the effort well i did one of these things we got i wanted a wallet and then we got into a fight classic and her fault you know what i did i said just went by it i know i know even worse i was like well i'm gonna really stick it to him i'm getting a purse like

what should i get you i said nothing i said i don't want the wallet i don't want anything from you yeah and then i got her nothing there i walked upstairs and i'm like why would i do that punish yourself punish my i punished myself stupid so i don't have anything not yet well you know we got you like you know cough a cake this morning and coffee i told you to get the cake so that i can celebrate with the actually the cardinal sin of womanhood yeah because i did the exact same thing on my 39th or that's my 30th birthday my husband was like what do you want for your birthday i was like nothing i can't believe i'm turning 30 i had such a meltdown and then he got me nothing because men listen and they don't understand that your secret language is and then on my 40th birthday

he's like what do you want and i was like i want an entire day dedicated to me i want cake flour ice cream cake from carvel with my name i had to be so specific and then he gave it to me and it was a great day and so ladies if you're listening men are dum-dums yeah yeah but i've started to give a full list oh good because at the beginning of our relationship it was bad like the gifts were oh well listen you guys were children that goes that goes two ways because you know i remember i got some job or something it was like my birthday and and this was very sweet right it's all about the effort but she like gave me flowers and and then i thought it would be a great opportunity like we had a nice connected moment a couple times that i gave you yeah a couple times

right where i was like you're like i really wanted to blow a job like yeah yeah well i'm like yo i'm like i'm a dude i don't i don't even know how to cut the like uh this is not at all like get me golf balls or something i looked across she starts crying i started crying because i didn't i was so embarrassed that i had gotten it so wrong but i was like when was that ever right but you know who would never do that a man would never do that a man would never start crying because it got it wrong it's such a woman yeah i'd be like oh shit yeah but i mean like flowers like me you know like you're not the guy i would buy i was like what is this like uh rose no but so you know it goes so now you get tequila and it's fine and we and the lady

gang podcast ding ding ding yeah um i have a couple biz questions for y'all um first of all i know that you did yellowstone and you have walker and they feel like they live in the same world who's an actual better cowboy cowgirl because you live in austin like if you had to ride a horse like these like the point or whatever i mean that's really my question is like who really is a better cowboy are you gonna tell the truth or are you gonna speak didn't you go to cowboy camp i mean i was in the mountains for yeah you know who was the cowgirl before who was raised with horses listen i've never really seen in person you like ride a horse i mean look i've never like you're gonna do me dirty no no no no i mean i'm sure you were great you know when you

were eight back in the day but like are we talking current i'm just worried about your stamina like you're you know like all right you have really long legs i don't know how those really long legs i feel like the toes drag the toes drag but see and and here and here's what i'll say is that sure you're great riding a horse but like a cow you're out in the elements for days on end like is that something uh i'm sure i would love to see you out there can we have a cowboy camp like this did they make you cowboy camp for walker no no they did not they did but i i i've we've had to ride horses dave was also on walker oh um for a minute there and you know they they sort of knew that i could ride horses so they put me right on the horse it's weird they didn't put

you on there to him because he was on the guys on yellowstone had to do like a true cowboy camp but aren't some of them real cowboys right that they like yes so obviously not the actors right so but you know where i was i was on y'all some for seven and a half minutes uh but it was very powerful um but i was part of the first cowboy camp and they you know we were in the mountains of utah and it was basically from a guy that taylor bought horses online right so i mean off of ebay so it was his land it was his land his family's land so it wasn't like you know studio approved and we're kind of we're out there roughing it oh wow you know which was very cool i think they still probably make their cast oh yeah cowboy can't they're in you know lioness

right now they're in swat camp i was like oh i'm in doctor camp i just gotta watch like gray's yeah you play a doctor dave plays zoe saldana's husband yeah and he's a doctor oh it's very hard work just pediatric surgeons you know you know just really checking a lot of boxes here for you guys kids white coat you're all the all the dreams here's my question and and listen i here's our question this is a little awkward so i'm not going to look at the birthday call we're going to ask but you're both very successful actors and actresses and you both been love interests you're both hot is it freaking weird to be like have a good day at work honey and your day at work is, like, a sex scene with Zoe Saldana?

Like, is that, like, when I send my husband off to work, I'm not expecting him to, like, you know. Sure, sure. Probably more so for Dave than for me. I mean, I know that that's just what comes with a job. I think that we've now gotten to the place where we're, like, you know. I mean, it's never comfortable. It's never comfortable, yeah.

You know, if I'm going to be honest, right? I mean, you know, you're most likely across from a charming or pretty or, you know, it's never, you're never really, you know, they're eights and above. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, you know, and in my, you know, in my earlier years, I struggled with jealousy. I was very insecure. So I think that was a very tough time for Odette, you know, when we first started and for myself. You know, all of a sudden I'm with this smoke show and she's like making out with this dude. And I'm like, and any moment that I ever let myself, you know, quote unquote, enjoy that process back in the day, it was like, oh, the switch is like, oh, my wife's doing this at the exact.

So it's sort of, you know, neutralized it. And, you know, we've been doing it 20 years now. So, I mean, there's there's a certain acceptance, like we don't write it, you know, and it is what it is. And I don't watch it, you know, because I do have a tough time, even though it's fake. Like, oh, I don't, I don't need to see that. Cause once you see it, it's hard to unsee it. You know, he does want to know when it's going to happen. That's opposite of Zach in an episode.

I definitely want to know. He wants to know. And he wants to know the day that you shoot it. Yeah. Zach's the opposite. Well, it's weird. Cause it's like, then are you coming like home? I think it's a little bit in your mouth.

Self-torture. Yeah. Well, I just want to know, you know, I just want to know. I don't want to be surprised and like, oh, that was yesterday at all. Like, okay, I know. I'm going to go do like whatever that is to get my mind off it. Zach is not. He does not.

He's like, don't tell me. Please don't tell me. Don't tell me when. That's you. Odie doesn't really want to know. Yeah. I don't. I'm just like, I know that it's happening.

Well, Dave has some shower scenes and a bath scene coming up. Is this a spoiler? Well, you know. Spoiler. It's out. now this can't air for nine months no thank you uh i mean nobody more beautiful to do it with and professional and and more cool because she is awesome um because it's odette's birthday i thought it'd be so cute we're excused but i thought it'd be so cute to put you in a love

sandwich so i'm gonna have becca tell you her favorite thing about you and then i'm gonna have your husband do the same wow i love this game thanks for putting a second so i can figure out what to say well i feel like we've done some things where od's heard like the you know when you first meet somebody in like your inner monologue of meeting somebody or leading up to meeting somebody you've heard this before i feel like i've told this to you but we had a lot of mutual friends over the years and everybody's like oh my god odette od od and i'm like of course her name's odette which is amazing name and then of course her nickname is od which is even cooler and everyone's like she's beautiful she's so cool and i'm like how cool can this bitch be

You know what I mean? Like how cool I'm pretty cool. And then we met at a dinner at a friend's house. And the whole time I was like, God damn it. There's no one cooler. She's cool, but not in a way that makes her icy. It she's cool because she's warm. She's welcoming. She's funny as self deprecating. Sometimes I forget how stunning she is because if what a good job you do of like making yourself not be that girl yeah well i'm not that girl you are you are no sometimes we'll take like group photos or whatever like today we work out and then somebody's like oh look at this group photo and i'm like she's a super model like this person and there's not an ounce of her that even carries herself in that way so that's my favorite like first impression that you're the

first person that i've ever heard she's so cool wait till you meet her that i was like oh it's true it's true wow did not feel that way about jack vanek or kelty well i didn't meet you in your coolest era i think a smoky eye and a box dyed mullet is definitely pretty beautiful but odie and i share we're like little curmudgeons and we are cynical but we still love life if that's if that can make any sense i i like to be miserable same i like to complain i get it out and then I'm happy as you know yeah that's true what it is Dave's like why do you have to

even do that but it makes me happy to do it yeah but then like what's my part just to like listen you know this is a downer you know I was like look the sun's out you know

the sun yeah Becca that was wonderful gorgeous thank you good luck well you know I second that no uh there's there's so many things i mean it but it is a i would say a close cousin of what becca just said that you are my best friend and i really love doing life with you you're an incredible mom and i think you're the coolest chick i know and you're a smoke show oh i like i love to be called a smoke show you guys been dating for forever dating or whatever

when did you start dating as soon as the cameras wait guys we've been grinding for 2008 what is that we got married 10 10 10 so it's gonna be 15 15 years 15 16

look at all of us I might carry the one but a long time a long ass time okay when we come back we have a game called defend the men you're listening to the lady gang we are back with dave and odie and the lady gang and so you know sorry to do this to you dave but um we have this amazing lady gang community which we love and we decided to post a question to the lady gang community about things that their

significant others do that drive them absolutely mad but they love them anyway okay and we got over 250 answers like people really wanted to what did you call it curmudgeon yeah they wanted to curmudgeon about their significant others but okay you are a curmudgeon you know whatever okay so what i would like to do is i'm going to read some of them and i want to have becca od and jack let us know if you're bothered by it if this is something you can relate to and then after that i'm gonna have dave defend this action by the man okay okay okay here we go so what the question was what is something your significant other does that app you absolutely cannot freaking stand but they that they do but you love them anyway says especially instead of

especially like saying expresso can't can't do that hard x there i could never do it but you don't so thankfully we're good there i think you can give a note once or maybe twice like zach he always says silicone valley this is his version of especially yeah and i have given the note so many times and he just he has an accent too so sometimes i'm like is it the southern accent or is it that he just didn't take the note but i understand the dave say dave why can't men take a note uh hold on dave what do squirrels love to eat i say egg corn like egg corn like a i can't i don't know corn it's a mouth thing i got like a speech thing he says like egg corn not like it's not a hard g but like for some reason egg corn a corn just say a it's letter a

all right moving on okay he's standing holding instructions like cooking instructions and he looks at me and says how long do i cook this for read the box bro i'm unfortunately the person that's doing that yeah me too and i've never made a meal that i haven't burnt no i haven't dave you're not in our kitchen oh sorry no he can he can he well at least there's an effort being made to try to make the thing yeah that's what i was gonna say because there's no that's not even he would never god is fair od look at him yeah he's looking at him yeah but you know And you're a great cook. Why would I go in there and just say, oh, hey, I'm going to try this.

This is what I do with my husband. He's a good cook. I'm like, what would I? We have our roles. I'm just like the energy guy. I'm the vibes guy. Yeah, I'm the cruise director. No truer words have ever been said.

It smells great. You know, it smells great in here. I'm the energy guy. I'm playing with our children. I will say, yes, the most we all bitch about, me, Jamie, and Odie, we just constantly bitch about our husbands, right? But at the end of everything, Odie's always like, but the only thing that truly matters is that I married a guy that's funny. Like, thank God.

So it's true. The energy guy, he can't always make the couscous that's in the box. Can't spell it either. Not storing those egg corns. Okay. This girl says, oh, my God, when he calls from the grocery store and asks, what do you want me to buy for the week without having an actual plan or grocery list? It takes so long to think through that. you're getting apples and bananas again if he went to the grocery store chris chris and i

very uncomfortable yeah chris will do this while he's like do you think i should go to the store and i'm like yeah head out and he'll arrive back from trader joe's with a bag and a half and i was like do you not know what it takes to run a household do you run a grocery run i would call like an instacart like but i'll order you also have prince derrick your assistant i have prince Derek to get things. I can't imagine you in a grocery store really going through the aisles. Never. What? That would be like seeing what is it, like a pig wearing

lipstick? No, no, that's a different thing. When I go to Costco, I'm a double cart girl. What? How do you do a double cart? Push-pull? I bring my two friends, my best gays. I always have a helper. Anyway. Defend the men.

Why can't men grocery shop? You know, it's overwhelming. There's a lot of choices. You know, I think there was a simpler time out there, you know, when you had, like, three boxes of cookies to choose from. Now, you know, it's 200. I agree. And then you don't want to bring home the wrong one because then you've got to face the music from the wife. So you just don't do it.

Hard out. That's the theme I feel like we're getting at. Just vibes, man. Vibes, Odie. Energy guy. Just energy. Me and the kids will party in the car. Throwing dirty clothes on the floor instead of the hamper.

This was one of my vows Legit I made him vow That he would throw his clothes in the hamper Instead of like around the hamper Did he stick to it? No, he didn't stick to any of them Not one of them

Okay, time out Now we have his or her closets So that's a problem Wonderful, because I just close it Because I can't deal When you see the hamper Dave, what are you thinking? It goes beside it

Because the opening is too, it's not even, you don't even have to open it. Do you think you're going to wear it again? There's like a, now I'm starting to do the like half in the hamper and half out. Like I kind of lay it over, which is, you know, maybe if I want to wear it again, it's not too wrinkled, you know, or if I don't, it's halfway in the hamper. Is this on? Okay. Next, Jack, this feels like something that you would say.

Was this you in the Facebook? Breathes. Defend the men. Breathe. You know, we got, like, nasal stuff. Allergies down here, Texas. No, you hate just everything about me. Yeah.

And mostly chew. Can't do it. I have that thing, though. Yeah, but that's not personal to me, I think, anybody. But, I mean, we can't. We're moving closer and closer into different bedroom land. You know, I would say more oftentimes than not, I look over, I'm like, oh, he's gone

And goes down to his lair I'm terrified of you If I sniff, I hear It's not a sniff It's so annoying though It's so annoying She's the lightest sleeper on the planet I am a light sleeper

Which is kind of annoying to be sleeping next to What you do is out of this world I'm in the normal It's like I sleep with a Bear, like it's horrible I just saw someone say that they just had they went through a bedroom divorce with their husband and they've never been happier.

We're on our way. Everything else remains the same, but you do divorce in the sense that you take your separate bedrooms and they said it saved their marriage. We've met with lawyers. We're on the way. We're almost there. I mean, really. We start in bed together and then...

Which I love, right? You know, whether we're... I would say we're reading, but we're not reading. But watch something. You know, like, oh, maybe a little touch maybe not mostly not but you know and then right around midnight when i've been sleeping for six hours is when i'll wake up and go because our dear dave goes to bed at 7 45 p.m that's insane well don't you that's on a late night but he's i get in bed at 7 45 i get it he's out he's

out cold i like 8 15 i'm asleep yeah i'm uh night night we're crazy what time do you go to sleep tend to never she doesn't sleep that sounds like a night out for me jesus um okay he is constantly humming or singing i'm so glad you're happy with your life but shut the f**k up dude my husband does this he's been doing this thing where he whistles right before bed and he's like working on his whistling oh my god he's like that's better than yesterday i'm like this is so annoying that's great so annoying it's so it's kind of charming though i guess whistle and i'm happy you don't whistle actually do either of you sing around the house um well thank god odie doesn't but no honestly like that the proof is in the pudding you're not we found her her cryptic

her flaw okay not a single one flaw and like dancing i thought i was beyonce at one point my life somebody told me we were doing a all right we were doing i'll make this short we were doing a christmas movie together and we had to sing there was a scene where we had to sing so they bring in a singing coach and i start singing with the coach in the trailer in our trailer and she looks at me she says wow and i'm like oh am i as good as i think i am she's like you are on it your tone is great you've got it don't change a thing i said well i mean great dave starts singing she's like we're gonna need to work with you a little more time i felt great i show up to set and it was not great you guys first of all we're you know how they do it like you're not

hearing the music right because they put that so there was like 60 background extras in a bar and we had to basically sing out loud in a bar and we had ear pieces in and so I couldn't actually hear my voice but I thought I was crushing so they're editing the movie and they call us in for ADR and for the

singing part and they're like actually we're just going to need Odette and I was like yes I was like that's it the proof's in the pudding you spent like 2-3 hours there babe and then I heard it and I was like how did you let me get away

Oh, no, it was awful. Wait, so what the f*** was the singing coach doing? Lying to you? She built me up. She had a crush on you. No, you know what she thought? She did me dirty. She got busy dirty.

If I were her, I would have done the same thing because I would have known that you were just going to have to do it in ADR. Like, there was no world. So give her the confidence. So give you the confidence. You don't want to give you a complex before you shoot it. You just have to make you feel like the other person. She was very confident. So confident.

I swear to God, I thought I could sing. I actually saw some extras leave in the middle. They're like, this ain't worth it. I looked at it to the crowd and nobody was into it. Oh, ouch. Okay. The most irritating thing is when he leaves the empty container to something, usually coffee creamer, on the counter instead of just throwing it away

and letting me know to put it on the grocery list. Or eating or using the last of something, but then still putting it back has this ever happened to anyone i do this do that jack i'm a guy she's a guy yeah you're such a bro odie does that she won't admit it but you definitely i do what you do exactly what she just said you leave stuff out you like we'll put it back in the fridge like it's not your about cleaning everything except for my meal i don't know what it is i feel like i'm gonna come back to it where she always i don't know every night she does not clean up her own mess. Are you done with this? I'm like, I don't know.

I think I might just leave it there. And then it doesn't, it just like... Hey, you might want like one more bite. I might want a little snack. When he's asleep at seven. Yeah. Come back for a second meal. But I don't leave, I don't leave like sugar packets out that have been emptied on the, you know, it's like, there's the trash,

Dave, two inches from you, put it in. That's what they're talking about. Dave, defend the men. Okay. Well, there's really no defending on this because, again, my wife does this. So, and it drives Do you do it, or are you... No.

This is a different thing. I mean, I do a lot of other stuff, but that, I'm not, you know, sure there's some coffee sugar packets out once in a while, you know? Who still uses a sugar packet? A sugar packet? Are you guys at a hotel? We do a little monk fruit stevia sugar packet. Interesting.

Okay. Okay. He rarely empties his pockets before putting his clothes in laundry. This man wears a lot of cargo pants I don't have the endurance to check that many pockets I washed the garage door opener last week That's funny That's very funny

Well I I haven't done laundry in a long time I don't wash Zach's laundry He washes his own And I wash mine Is that what you guys do too? We started doing that since now we have children You have to

Honey you've never done my laundry I've never done your laundry I've never done your life Just like I never pack for you I used to pack for him You did? Gross Dave has two sisters I got, yeah

He knows how to get everybody to do everything It's actually a gift It's a gift When you're responsible for energy You know, I can't I have a single focus What was the thing with Becky where she was like

Would find herself in a trance I would somehow was able to read my younger sister. We're very close. But like I could read when she was just checked out enough where I'd be like, hey, can you go make me like a sandwich real quick? And she would just be like, just like, honestly, I mean, I figured out for 12 years. My parents were like, I'll go, mom, watch this. Hey, you know, Beck, can you go upstairs and just grab my laundry? And she would just get up and go do it.

And, you know, that is insane. He does. He still does. He does it. He does it. I mean, why would I change? It's like, you're the actual ultimate banana leafer. We call our daughter Charlie the banana leaf because she, like, she will get anybody to, like, just fan her.

Someone's got to teach her how to do it. She gets you real bad. She gets me so good. Interesting. You're so great with that. I'm around her finger. She's just the most special child you've ever met in your life. Like, truly, you know when kids are just born with it?

Yeah. She's got it. Oh, I know. The riz. She has it. What? The riz. she's really giving you this you were born with the riz i don't think so

over here stage left riz i just can i can really recognize the star and she's got it she's got it we had some crazy we had some crazy moment we were in la before we moved here and uh od ran into the store charlie was in the back in her car seat and i'm sitting in the driver and her window was down and this homeless man walks up and he looks at her and looks right at me and like almost in tears is like she's going to write you the biggest check you've ever seen in your life

and then walked straight away didn't ask for money and I was like holy shit that was a wild and I mean still has left an impression I got chills so we'll wait patiently I mean you know I'm waiting we'd like to get into the oaks

the vibes are right though the vibes are right vibes are right okay next pretends to be listening to me but then repeats the same thing later as if it's new information pretends to listen to me no we're good i mean nobody's listening okay well i'm just trying to put it together pretends it's like you're telling him something and then you're like hey we should do dinner at 7 30 tonight it's our relationship you tell me something it is and then like a week later i'm like i had the craziest idea and you're like actually i'm the one who told you that idea four days ago you're right you're right i'm gonna defend the men um sometimes

you're boring and we have to zone out for our own vibes yeah yeah yeah you know i got i got oh was that a pound oh god well kelty you're hardly the energy man okay you're you're the It's the opposite of whatever the vibes guy is. Definitely never the vibes. Never the vibes. I'm the vibes guy here. You're the vibes guy. No, no, for sure.

Okay, I have a couple more. He washes his hands in the sink and then somehow gets the water everywhere. It's such a thing. It's not such a small thing, but it sends me. Oh, yeah. It sends me. And you know what else? The shaving.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You did get me this great. Wait, oh, the thing that goes on the, yes. From Amazon? It's like 10 bucks. Jared's favorite gift he's ever gotten. I've never, like, felt stupider. trimming my beard

attached to the mirror but it works well this falls into the category of when you wash the dishes he's got all the water and then the water's everywhere but then he also pees on the toilet seat, he doesn't lift the thing up he falls under that entire

category, the shavings this didn't need to turn into a roast at any point like this we're kind of staying on track here it's the roast of Tom Brady which was so funny so funny so funny um okay here's one this comes from the jack school exists goes along with breeds yeah you know what's so interesting is that my husband chris has been away so much in the last six months for work that i've been like kind of a single

gal living in our house that when he got back i would be like oh you're here and it was like you're really ruining my peace you know because it's like all of a sudden the shower's on and like there's some old water on the floor before i step my feet in like just they're just annoying to be around okay yeah um a couple more where do i begin he talks to himself but loud enough to make you think he's talking to you then when you ask what he says i'm not talking to you i'm talking to myself i we don't have that that's good no well i will think something in my head and then i'll verbalize halfway through my thought and zach it does zach it drives him crazy really he's like i need to know like 20 seconds before what you were thinking because i can't just hop into your brain

so i get it yeah um this has nothing to do with you dave but someone i just need to read this answer because it's so ridiculous he loves hot wheels so i have to pretend he's fine and be like oh buddy that car is so beautiful you picked a good choice oh my god no like the well i think this is like yeah i think this is men that have like a yeah like a the troll collection the like maybe you know this is a little like the hair this is a little like my dad and my dad collects many many things and he's collected a lot of magazines and now my mom is really like

now when she says a lot of magazines it's like a garage full right an entire label thing where at a certain point like but I think this is more like a magazine is a magazine but like a hot wheel is a hot wheel of death

does it translate to like he loves cars like normal sized cars or just kind of like only like just like it might be a bigger problem that comes to you and he's like hey babe you know how we want to make that other play space for little baby ford what i'd like to do instead is do a table with a diorama of a train and it moves and i'll like paint all the hills and i'll put the train down but it's not for ford it's for zach i'd rather him have a coke addiction yeah yeah that's not for me okay um last very very last one has the keyboard clicks on his phone when he types

I do that sometimes And Zach will be like Can you put your phone on silent You don't hear that Or you'll do it or I'll do it sometimes We both are guilty I mean I rarely do it So you're not going to defend

Defend the men Okay I'm going to defend the men You guys are up So why do you hate us We're doing our best Do you know what I'm talking about This is my best. I believe Dave when he says that.

You're looking at me and you're telling me that this is your best. I'm above my best. I'm 20% better than I ever thought I could do. It's so true. It's so... I hate us. This is just...

The key to a healthy marriage is for a wife to secretly hate their husband and for the husband to love their wife unconditionally. oh that's it okay i knew i was forgetting i think right so it's even definitely okay you know what i mean absolutely because then what would we talk about with our girlfriends i actually think the secret the secret to relationships is things like this in the lady gang where you think

oh my god if i hear those clicks one more time or if i hear you snore one more time i'm gonna have it's gonna be over and then you get with all the other women and you realize everyone has these neuroses and everyone has this shit little tiny things where you're like this is my person i love them more than i love life these aren't even neuroses these are just like shit that yeah but like if he leaves his beard hair in the sink one more time i'm gonna walk out the door and never come back but then when you hear from all the other women that they feel the same way it makes you feel less alone and it makes you actually it's we're doing you a favor it makes us love our husbands more yeah because you have a community to complain about because not just

it's not dave right it's men it's men and it's gonna happen if you get a divorce and date another guy that's right absolutely with those girls yeah you know like i think no absolutely we were never meant to share our caves with men like agreed the men were always supposed to be away hunting gathering gathering and we were taking care of the house taking care of the kids as a village as a village as a tribe so i think women just our fuses are shorter when it comes to the home because there's something in us that it's like that's our territory so someone else being in it is a weird thing against our nature i i think you've nailed it are you stoned like you really tapped in there have you thought about this have you thought about this before no i guess it's not

that complicated she's just that good at podcasting that these brilliant that's a good soundbite right but here's the other thing so i should move into the basement base yeah okay but don't help too much where i'm annoyed by it but you have to figure that out yourself do the dishes don't get the water everywhere but if you're gonna do it do you know what i mean but wait dave i do have a question for you talk to me do i find that if i don't have enough sexy time with my husband he hates me more and he's more irritated with me so i feel like for men to stay cool with their wives to stay unconditionally loving of their wives if you just put out enough for them to stop hating you it's like that works right win-win uh i would say yes right well listen ultimately

we're animals and like that's what's on our mind yeah you know 96 of the time and it doesn't have to be every time but like you want to feel connected you want to feel wanted you want to feel that that like oh she thinks i'm hot yeah and connected and when it's just all irritated yeah like why would i want to be around that yeah you know or why would one want to be around it right so look at me the next morning and he'll go remember what happened last night yeah they're so happy so i'll hold it but that's that's the secret so connected to you it is it's the simplest but It's so dumb. You know when I feel connected to you?

When you put the napkin folded in the nice three-point connection back in the organized drawer. But live your life. You know, you do you. See, that would never cross our mind. But like, you know. They're so simple. They're so dumb. Dave, we want to thank you for being a little bit of a punching bag today on Odie's birthday.

You know, I'll take it. If anybody could take it. But you defended the men very well. Yeah. Well, you know, I... You're the vibes. We're the vibe. I'm the vibe guy.

You know, but at the same time, like, put out more. It is. Don't you hate us less when we put out? A hundred percent. It makes me want to do, like, you know, the same thing, like, if I were to go above and beyond and, like, you know, dry. I would get on my knees. On my knees if you are.

But that's a. See, already that made me very uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time. I don't know how to explain it. But if you guys could keep the lights and the cameras and just give us about ten seconds, that'd be awesome. How do you feel? How do you feel about this? I saw on Instagram recently, there's a jar, and a woman says every time she has sex with her husband, he puts $20 into the jar, and it goes towards her Christmas present.

That's prostitution. I need a little more. They're married. Well, okay, so we'll scale it to, like, Austin standards. $100 goes in the jar every time you have sex with your husband, and that goes towards your Christmas present. Would you be more inclined to put out more often? Absolutely. Should we do this?

Yes. It's a genius idea. It's genius. First of all, $100 is a big number. I mean, you know, that's a, I mean, for a hundred dollars, you better, you better make it worth it for a hundred dollars, 60 cause you don't want to have to make change. I think it's too expensive. I don't know if I'm worth that.

I still don't know how many times we're having sex. Well, it's up to you, but that would give you, that would be an incentive. So it is slightly sex work, but you're married. It's consensual and everyone's getting something. Well, that's also sex work. Jared has offered this to me before, not in the jar, but it's like, I'll give you 50 bucks if you give me a handjob right now. What?

A handjob? I'll tell you what. 50 for a handjob? That would pay me 50 to not give him a handjob. Jared loves a handjob. What can I say, you know? You're good at it.

She does have beautiful hands. No, I'm not. But sometimes they're easier than doing anything else. Yes, than doing the whole thing. Guys, I recently found out that I've been giving blowjobs all wrong. What do you mean?

Yeah, this was a great story. When she told us, Jamie and I, this, we were like, Becca, have you been mortified? This is mortifying. Let's do this. This is the finale.

This is disgusting, you guys. Okay. i can't wait okay so i sorry the vibes right now yeah that's great so i hate spit saying if you are gonna tell me there's a random man on the street you have to either be spit on by him or peed on by him i would choose p 100 million times a million times on by him poop i don't know but spit is so disgusting to me i think it is just foul okay so blow jobs are so spitty there's it's spitty work right well the spittier the better well i thought that this whole time my 30 how old am i eight years on seven i don't know on planet earth i thought that if as long as my mouth

had a nice grip and my tongue stayed out of the of the activity that they wouldn't know the difference jamie said how do you even do that wait so you're saying i don't get giving spitless giving no just like lip and air yeah wait what do you mean the tongue stays out of the ocean where are your teeth going is that okay i finally it probably hurt has he lost like layers of skin uh i never give him like it's just not i would so much rather have sex than blowjob because it's so gross to me so i finally the other day i was like i'll give you a blowjob and like i want you to tell me what i'm doing right and wrong like i'm just curious because we joke that mine are the worst but i'm like but give me some specifics

yeah you need a note and he was like so like your tongue is not involved at all is it so if it's back where do you put it you hide it so then he's like yeah so he's like so it feels like i'm just putting my penis into like a void Yeah, cavity. Are you like sucking on? Just a cavity. Wait, wait, wait. I have four.

Are you like suctioning onto the, just like. My lips are still working. Like my lips are doing things. I don't have that much lip filler. Like there's no, I've never had lip filler. You take that back. But there's no, my, my tongue is just not included in the equation. But you know what?

This is what, this is what schooling does to us. But then I did it for the first time in my whole life. Was it great? No. No, it's never cool for you. for me and i'm sure for him too because he's like i basically married like a subhuman like doesn't i never thought it made a difference i thought all that mattered was like the suction the connection the whole connection of the mouth the lips on the penis right

it's like a cock ring like i'm giving him like a cock ring yeah experience well wow i did you all know to do that good for you well you know yeah i have always been a sloppy bitch so check on that note Odie and Dave thank you for coming happy birthday Odie this was really really fun and we would love to know on Instagram everyone what other things

that your significant other does that drive you absolutely bananas also we found out recently that Dave's demographic on Instagram is like 90% female and 10% male so I think a lot you guys get it the vibes are right on Instagram so please go over and

and give them a lot of love. Walker is currently airing right now. Lioness is coming. But Dave needs a lot of positive reinforcement from the lady demographic. There's a shower scene in his future. And let's pump him up, guys. Pump him up.

You're looking great. He's looking good. I love you so much. We just, you know, you're doing great. He's doing his best is what he's doing. This is the best. I'm doing 20% more than my best. I love it.

OK, we will. See you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber, Will Sterling, Steve Delameter, and Jared Monaco. Make sure you subscribe, rate, and review our podcast. And if you love it, share it with your friends on social media. Like, oh my god, I just listened to Lady Gang. This episode's so great.

Swipe up to listen. And if you really want to, which we know you do, please follow us on social. At Kelty, at Becca, at Jack Vanek, and at The Lady Gang. Sign up for our newsletter at theladygang.com and join our secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday. she talks about etiquette get your fingers out of your mouth she talks about where to find a deal you know if you sell me something on instagram i buy it whoever markets to me does a fabulous job

she talks about the economy we used to joke that'll be the thing to send them to therapy okay we're creating jobs can we look at it that way she talks about parenting these kids want to come home they don't want to leave they don't want to drive they want to stay in the womb let's talk with Heather Dubrow every Thursday on Podcast One or wherever you get your podcasts.