LadyGang - Elena Garcia

Episode Date: October 23, 2017

The official assistant and "Fourth Member" of the LadyGang Elena Garcia comes on the show to spill the beans on what she's really seen the ladies say and do behind the scenes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Because we have your number. Hey guys, it's your lady gang, Jack Vanek, Kelty Knight, and Becca Tobin. Thank you so much for subscribing on iTunes, and thanks for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you every single week for free. Well, what is this? Welcome to the lady gang. That's amazing. Say that again.

The lady gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to The Lady Gang. I am actress Becca Tobin. Across from me is Kelty Knight. It's accessible.

Entertainment tonight. And to my right is Jack Vanek, CEO, lady boss, designer of Jack Vanek Clothing. Yeah. Today's question is, do you name your cars? And if so, what are their names? Did in high school. Her name was White Lightning. haven't since i did in high school her name was gertrude and i haven't since okay good i have

never and i judge people who do oh great so i'm glad i'm at a table with people who don't i think it's a little bit strange as like an adult adult to name your car yeah and for those of you who do maybe keep it to yourself okay don't tell us and now it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no all right who wants to kick it off i'll go um my good week is i don't know if you guys have been really paying attention to our facebook group but there has been lots of talk of lots of sex related things as it is incredible yep and i'm obsessed so anybody that hasn't joined should join um here's some of our posts that we i think it started with some girl posting when did you lose your virginity and it's like 300 comments of girls like when they lost their

virginity went to when's last time you had sex the sluttiest thing you've ever done the sluttiest thing you've ever done which was amazing um if you like anal or not and it had the best memes i've ever seen in my entire life uh how many people have you had sex with they say that and have you ever slept with two people in 24 hours and i think that is a great question that is a for us right now no oh we won't go there on the podcast hi dad i haven't but it's so good because it's like sometimes if you feel like you've been a little bit loose when you go and look at people's answers you're like okay you're like we're all one yeah womankind we're all just having sex all the time um doing sexy things it's amazing and i think it's so good we need more of those posts

um okay my bad week so i'm wearing these shoes all birds i'm sure you guys have seen them they're Like, the wool sneakers. I'm obsessed with them. This is not an ad. And they're great, except for, for some reason, when I'm in the airport, they always get, like, stuck on their, like, squeaky floors. Like, every time in any airport, for some reason, with the floors, the only time they get, like, squeaky.

I have a pair of shoes like that. Yeah. And I'm like, what the hell? So, I'm in the airport the other day, holding my iced coffee, trying to catch a flight. Just trying to catch a flight. A little jog, but not a run, because I'm so out of shape, I can't run. And it happens, and I trip, eat massive shit, face plants into the ground, coffee goes spilling out of my hands. Wait, so it's sticky, and it's not just making the, like, eek, eek, eek, noise?

No, but you get stuck. Yeah, and imagine, like, trying to run on something like that. And I just ate the most massive shit, hit my chin on the ground, the most embarrassing fall that like you could ever have in your entire life everything just goes spilling out of my purse and i just lay there for like two minutes did any hot guys like come along and try to help you no because my life sucks no one and then i missed my flight and it was just because you fell yeah i just i sat there i'm like this is it for me this is my like i really go that's it that's how i go and then i just missed my flight and just you know accepted my fate when

When I hear about people missing flights, it gives me so much anxiety. I don't even know the last time I missed a flight other than that. I haven't missed in my whole life. It is the worst. I think it's because I hate the airport so much that the thought of having to stay there longer. It's bad. It's awful. Yeah.

Worst. Okay, I'm going to go next. So I, since I was a little girl, have gagged while brushing my teeth almost every morning. I don't know why, but apparently there are people who, like, it just happens. My gag trigger is very, very light in the morning. Only in the morning? Only in the morning. That's weird.

Because I think I'm a little queasy in the morning. You're on an empty stomach. I don't know. You have to, like, drink or eat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're brushing, like, I don't know. It's gross. It's all gross.

So I've gotten so much better as I've gotten older, and probably from learning how to give blowjobs you sort of know how to fight that gag reflex while we were traveling and we were in a hotel and there was a teeny teeny tiny bathroom and next to the sink is the toilet so you can see the toilet while you're brushing your teeth and i just started thinking about the many many many hundreds of thousands of people who have sat there and taken a shit in the history of this hotel and then really sobering thought of anything in a hotel it's really gross it brings me to let me finish the story and then it brings me to this realization that i had so that i can't get i can't stop thinking about all the people shitting all

the strangers shitting inches from me i gag i throw up into the sink a full you couldn't even make it to the toilet that was right there no like a bile because it's the morning but it was so disgusting and we had to stay there for several more days after yeah it was so hard for me to brush my teeth every single I considered going on the balcony with a bottle of water because I I it was the most disgusting thing why do we have toilets so close to sinks can someone tell me why is it ever in the same room because not that many people can have a gigantic but when we were designing homes why did we think a toilet should go in the same room that you get clean in and you brush your teeth in there should be a separate toilet room

everywhere right so there's like one room is a clean room and then rum like a washroom and a Toilet. Yeah. Does anyone else struggle with this? My new house, I have, like, a separate little toilet room. Yes. I think everything, and I don't, I mean, it's like, I can't, I'm struggling. I might have to move, because we don't have a toilet room.

And every time I brush my teeth, it's like a thing. I think they might have toilet rooms in Europe for some reason. Whatever. I need, does anyone have a solution? Because I'm gagging again. I fought this. Can you bring, like, your own disinfecting spray? That could help.

Yeah, I have wet ones all over the place. You just can't be, like, flushing the toilet when you have your toothbrush out, She wasn't even fleshing it. She just looked. No, I was just thinking. No, I know, but I'm saying it for sanitary reasons. I have a very vivid imagination. I'm an actress.

Okay, so my good week is kind of potty humor. Not even humor. That wasn't even humorous. Potty related. Someone tweeted me a new word for our dictionary. Ooh. So, you know when you're first dating someone and you have to fart, but you can't? Right.

So you hold it in, and you hold it in, and you're like, when I get in my car, I'm going to let it rip. But you can't, because then you get stopped up. Yeah. Farts-tipation. Oh. From holding your farts too long. That's good.

That's true. Isn't that good? Farts-tipation is real. It's so real. When you're first dating somebody, farts-tipation is so real. It's like painful. I know. Isn't that a good word?

I love a dictionary. It's a good dictionary. Kelty, tell me about your good week. Oh, well, mine has to do with farting, so this is great. I'm going to start with bad week. I know. God, I was about to do a farting-related good week, too. Weird, guys.

Mine's bad week. I was in Toronto working, and I went to the gym by myself, and it was one of those hotels that, like, for some reason, they think the gym has to be sexy. I hate that. Ew. It's like dark wood, and the lights were, like, really low, and it's like I could barely see myself in the mirror. I'm like, why do you think I'm working out?

I've got to look at myself and be like, so careful. Anyway, so I had my little earphones, my Wi-Fi earphones in. so i'm like doing my workout and i can't hear anything else that's going on in the gym but i know other people can hear me so dude walks in and he's got no headphones for sure and there's no music in this gym and there's no tvs playing so it's just like him the crushing weight of his own workout plan in his head and then me so i'm doing this move where i like rock back no rock back tell me it was a queen on my back and then like and then you stand up to do a burpee and you have to do 10 of them so it's the first round I do the first round and I'm like so because

you know when someone else comes in the gym all of a sudden you show off I'm like I start working out way harder especially when it's a guy even if it's like an old disgusting businessman I'm still like watch me work out so then I go through the rest of my thing and then it's time in my session to like do that part again so I do it again and I roll back and I let out the like loosest wettest like full carbonated fart that I have

ever let out. Like it was like like it was like a big big old girl came right up. What did he do? Well nothing. I don't know what he did because I was listening to like NSYNC or something. So you really have no idea how actually loud it was. No he was laughing. I felt, you can feel the loudness

and it was like a clapper. You know what I mean? When it's like a little bit. Anyway so that was amazing that was amazing and I also I'm very I have farts to patient like around strangers

like I don't like to fart I love to fart it was great though okay good week so I interviewed Dolly Parton the other week who's magical

like Dolly Parton is everything that's good in the world whenever I look around the world I'm like everything is horrible

the world's falling apart I think about Dolly Parton in her RV who doesn't like to go on planes and she just like takes her RV to the Emmys

and her like hidden tattoos and her little arm and like she never wears the same thing twice like she's just magical so anyway I'm I'm in I'm sorry I was in Nashville and I had two tickets that night to the Harry Styles concert and so I said to Dolly I sat down with her we did the interview and I was like Dolly like I know this is crazy I know we're not friends but I I have an extra ticket to the Harry Styles concert tonight at the Ryman Auditorium would you like to go and her answer was iconic she goes what's Harry Styles

shut up yeah and i tried to like not who but what not who just what's harry styles and i was like this you know what if you're not on dolly's registry you're not that cool harry styles i don't care if you're wearing gucci suits that are weird patterns like well to me harry yeah anyway he was yeah i think you're pretty cool he was amazing but then i but then he was a real kicker so i explained who harry's i'm like he's in one direction but now he's this like song or song write a thing and it's quite good and i think rhyming our term is amazing and she looks at me she goes i can't go and i was like oh i figured you would say then she goes no i can't really go out in public amazing naturally amazing dolly parton but like that's such a good answer no and

then someone at her office was like yeah the only place i ever see her go in public is hobby lobby oh my god shut your mouth yeah she goes with a baseball cat in nashville and like does crafts you know she's a crafter of course i want to see her house oh god i want to see everything dolly come in the lady game well we should ride the rv with her and do like a live stream shit how do we get this to happen i don't know she didn't even want to see harry does anyone have a connection miley cyrus to to dolly like there's got to be someone out no listening i know dolly I know, but there has to be someone who's like, she's my great aunt, or she's best friends with my mom. Yeah, we need a random connection.

One time, yeah, we've got to get in. We've got to get in. It's happening. Done. Goals for 2018. I'm putting on my manifesto. Put it on your list that everyone in the world saw a couple weeks ago when I used your bathroom. You're welcome.

Okay. Well, when we come back. What do we have? Who do we have? By popular demand, Elena, the fourth official member of the Lady Gang who has not spoken in public ever. is here to answer your questions about our craziness pray for her now back to the lady gang and we're back here's your introduction elena i hope you love it our guest today is our very own elena how do we describe such a gal she's so ingrained in our show we could actually

call it elena gang she's the one behind the scenes recording our show building our newsletters building our website personally driving from our warehouse like 50 000 times to drop off products for the lady boxes and on a personal note elena dresses me feeds me watched my dog when she was alive works out all my expense reports and paperwork sends invoices pays invoices buys presents for people buys me the magazines i'm in so i can instagram them and so much more oh my god she's a real magical piece of our puzzle so we thought it was about time she came on um oh yes and she's also currently our audio engineer in this episode so if you hear anything funny or messed up it's actually her fault welcome to lady gang elena garcia yes elena show them your voice

hello elena first of all um a lot of people in our facebook group wanted to know how you got this job and how you started working as the assistant um you're so much more than an assistant but we'll just call you that i was going through a quarter life crisis yeah as we all know where i needed a career change i didn't know what i was going to do with my life and i knew i wanted to do something more creative and kelty and i were in this group called can i say it yeah yeah girls night out and it was just like anonymous we were in aa together and um she posted that she was looking for some girl and i thought like the way she described who she was looking for was really really funny and I'm like oh there's somebody I could

really get along with and then she gets kicked out of the group because her post was not PC yeah it was like no it was like if you don't know how to dress for work I don't want you if you hate working long hours I don't want like what else did I say no you said something about

I love that they kicked you out of that group there was a lot of loony tunes did you see it? I don't remember the post what did I say? I don't remember I mean to me it was stupid I got a lot of emails that were like people that was so offensive and unprofessional, I was like, okay, well, if you think it's offensive, you're not the person. But one of the main reasons

why I was like, oh my god, I need to, is because she said, send me a picture of your cute dog, or something like that. Like, I didn't even care what you looked like, but I wanted to see if you had a cute dog. That's amazing. Because you can tell, if people have good dogs, then they're good people. Yeah, you don't need to know. And so I sent her, like,

50 pictures of all my dogs, and then I didn't hear, no, and I didn't really hear from her for, like, a while. Like, a month. and she was trying to do things herself yeah and but i knew i really wanted to work with her so we had like a mutual friend who's jack's best friend anna rose oh yeah i always forget the whole connection and i'm like hey i know that you're kind of friends with kelty can you like just kind

of put in a good word for me because i am really interested in this and she did and then like not long after i think i heard back from her and i came in to see her and she gave me the job on the spot oh damn you're so damn good she knew it's true it's so good but it does take like a lot of trust i've realized like we were talking today i'm not a good delegator because i feel like i'll just do it really fast for me it'll be fine and like it's taken like a good year of us working together and now i can officially just like forward stuff to lena and know that it's going to be done to like my standard my kelsey standard you know um okay so what has been your let's start with favorite what's been some of your favorite things that you've worked on for the lady gang

kelty jack and becca i think i mean i liked working with becca to make the makeup videos even though nobody watched them yeah a few guys but that was really fun because i worked in fashion for so long and doing the most boringest of fashion jobs but it paid my bills yeah and in LA sometimes you have to sacrifice your soul and then finally I was like I need to change Kelty came along and Lady Gang came along and I was able to be creative even making the website making little newsletters episode ideas or whatever is the creative outlet that I needed to be a happy person. I love that.

Wow. What's your least favorite thing you've ever had to do for the Lady Gang? Uh, this episode? Sorry. No, tell me, tell them about some of the horrible things I've made you do, because there's a lot. But you've never made me do anything horrible. Like, Kelty is not, she's always like, I'm Mrs. Hollywood, and I'm like, I need my pictures

and everything but that's not like what she's really like like she's never made me do anything terrible or like same i really like i feel like maybe you're like a very you're very respectful person and you've never you know like there's that whole like an assistant kind of to some people has like this bad connotation like cleaner dildos only one time it happened like one time no way i swear to god i have i have so many stories of shit literal dildo cleaning a dildo are sex toys cleaning or i mean it's unbelievable the amount of shit people have to do when you're an assistant i mean elena's definitely seen me naked like oh yeah but i've like worked you know i'm working in fashion i've seen like 10 million naked models like yeah forever so um okay now

Now, let's tell the story of your bad. Elena has a bad week she wants to share with you. Yes. She doesn't have a good week because her good week is every week with me. But what's your bad week, Elena? This is an amazing story. I can't believe this happened. Okay.

So we had to set up this nice little podcast room. And so I've just been, like, ordering things, making sure that everything is ready. And I had to go on vacation. But before I left, I ordered these, like, SD cards for us to record the episode and batteries. And so I'm having the time of my life on vacation. And I come back, and I'm ready to, like, set everything up because we have to do – I think we're recording – we're doing something. Yeah, we're recording right now. And I texted Kelty, and I'm like, hey, do you know where you put those batteries and the SD card that I ordered?

And she's like, I returned it. And I'm like, what? just like I didn't know that it was for you I thought Chris ordered it so I returned it and I'm like Kelty I was I literally had you order it for me and you knew that we needed it and now I have to go buy it over again it wasn't that terrible but it wasn't like Kelty she's kind of lost her mind recently I've gotten very spacey what happened to me no this is what's happening kelty moves at a rapid pace rapid rapid she skims she doesn't read never she like flies she doesn't drive right she like so what jack and i love is when we will text about something all of us yeah

we'll come to a conclusion yeah the next day kelty will text us what are we doing about this situation and i will i've gotten to the point now where i i will just screenshot the conversation from the day before yeah because she's just doing a million things at every moment and handling a million projects at every moment i can remember because i'm sitting on my couch watching tv and i'm like oh the one work conversation i had yesterday easy to remember kelsey however is moving at a rapid pace and she needs i am a skimmer though i'm a deep skinner sometimes i finish a book and i have no idea what the book's about but i've read the whole book like i'm a deep skim that's pretty much yes you're a natural yeah it really is that's like

i figured it out i'm a skimmer like i know what's going on you read 15 books but you can't even say like what the title of any of them is no totally don't remember um yeah that's true okay well anyway but you're a nice person thanks and i'm glad that we're learning this from elena i think this is for everyone what's the biggest lesson you've learned um about starting a podcast oh Jesus. From the Lady Gang. Always have a Kelty night. Yeah, it's a lot of freaking work. Elena does.

My most interesting thing I found out is that some episodes where it's just us talking or it's like an expert have as many downloads as like big celebrities. Like, you guys don't care about celebrities the way we thought you would. Thank God. Elena, who's the biggest diva of the group?

You. Are you serious? Obviously. No, these are questions that the girls asked. Oh, okay. Wait, I'm the diva? Yeah. Kelty. Wait, seriously?

I mean, on the grand, on the spectrum of diva, like, you don't even touch Hollywood diva. No, I don't think any of us are divas. But Jack and I, you guys, I look like I haven't showered in five days. Yeah, we're not. Okay. Do we want to answer this fully? Okay. Any guests that were completely different behind the scenes than on the podcast?

Mm-mm. Scalp. Behind the scenes. Like, coming in? I don't know. If you can say that. I think, I feel like, for the most part, it was very consistent with who they were. Some were amplified.

Yeah. I'm pretty guilty. Some people turn it on. Yeah. We turn it on, too. We turn it on. Like, I'm guilty if you run into me at the grocery store and you're looking forward to meeting Becca from the Lady Gang.

You are not meeting Becca from the Lady Gang. You're meeting Becca. Becca the bitch. The bitch. Becca, the person who hates human contact and shaking hands and hugs. I will say that you are probably, like how you were saying, the least, like, what your persona or whatever is like. Because before I, like, because you're the only person that I didn't know. Yeah.

Well, Kelty, I didn't know either. But, like, Jack and I had met, like, once or something. You knew the most? So Jack and I were, like, best friends before. Hello, we saw Larry David. Oh, we did. Jack and I actually hung out without you guys. Yeah, bitches.

And we went to the Largo to see Larry David and it was the best, but you know, I thought Becca would probably be the least approachable for sure. From listening to the podcast? Yeah. And cause I don't think I met you until like a couple episodes. That's true. Yeah. And then like, then I'm like, Oh, she's so nice.

And she's so normal. And she's like, but I can see, like, I like how Becca is that she, if she doesn't like you, she doesn't want. I don't know. And that's the same. well that's the same way that i am like i don't i'm not going to if i don't like you i'm not going to pretend to like you or like that is true fake to you something i do love about elena and i think that when sometimes people get into this trap trap with their bosses or colleagues where they think

they need to be yes men and they need to appease and just agree whereas elena's value a lot of the time comes from your brutal honesty, we'll pick something and be like, this is super cute! And we'll look at Elena and she'll look at us like we're insane. Like we just held up a sheet with poop on it. Yeah. And she's like, uh... And I'll be like, Elena, what about this for the lady box?

And she's like, that's ugly. And you're like, oh my god. Or like, I'll wear something. And thank god. No, totally. She's saved me from this. She's a sounding board. Many a disaster. It's true. Kelty's newsboy cap. Oh god. I lost it. Thank god. Yes. Thank god.

Actually, it was probably the work of Elena. Did you still have it? You asshole. You did. I know you did. You lost it in the trash. We don't want to name names. We've aired everything, right?

We've aired everything. You've seen it all. Think for yourselves. Yeah. I'm just kidding. A disaster. I mean, there's been some guests that I wasn't like, I love you at the end. There's some that I'm like, I'm more in love with you at the end.

Yeah. There's a few that were less than that. there was a guest that insta-storied the entire interaction and that was not my not my jam um anyways okay the true question um elena who actually drinks the most jack i can answer i mean look at her instagram story jack panic is constantly drinking i think she meant like on the pod like recording yeah yeah oh i mean everyone's drinking some really high-alcohol LaCroix right now. Don't tell them that.

We're so cool. We all drink equally. I think we do. Yeah. I love to get drunk. Well, Kelty is a cheap... Kelty, you get drunk like three sips of champagne.

A sniff. But I don't drink anymore either, and I'll have like one glass of wine, and I'm like... And you get out of it. I'm drunk, everyone. Yeah, that's Kelty.

Okay, here's some questions people wanted Elena to answer. Does Becca really fart during the podcast? I don't think you've... I think we've all farted. I mean, she's a millionaire. She definitely burped.

Burped, yeah. Okay. Does Kelty really have a schedule for the podcast minute by minute? Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. Is that annoying? No, I like it. No, it's the reason we're doing okay. We're also just going to be blabbing for like three hours.

No, but there's nothing. Listen, there are some bad podcasts out there. I'm not going to hate on you, but like everyone in the world is trying to start a podcast. A podcast to me is a show. It's not like just an hour of you blabbing. That's because you've worked in entertainment and television where these people starting podcasts are just basically self-indulgent. I don't need to hear you talk about, like, let's make a show. Speaking of.

Okay, does Jack always bring JV goodies for the guests? Yeah. Right? Most of the time. You have, yeah. And you always, like, tell me what you want. But she didn't bring me anything, so. Rude.

Jesus. Rude. There's Elena's honesty again. Okay, what's the craziest outfit any of the girls have shown up in? i don't know i mean there's been days where we are all like struggle city but i think it also rotates like some days becca will come in her workout gear and then i'll be like dressed up from the show and then other days i'll be like death storm i'm usually the most dressed up because i'm still peddling my wares to get a job as an actress so i'm coming from some sort of a

meeting or an audition some casting couch situation unfortunately i did think that i mean if i was doing this every week i wouldn't get dressed i would just be wearing like sweatpants we got a face for radio oh yeah okay um i want to know if anyone is ever late who oh the person someone in the lady gang group oh if any of us are late sometimes the guests are late yeah the guests are not often among us oh are we ever late i was late once but that's because i was like stuck in like two hour traffic and i came in like i'm sure we've been late yeah i'm sure not no nothing crazy do you want to tell the story about when the person was on time and i was like they're late where were we at a meeting oh my god this is amazing we were having a series of

pretty important meetings the month of like i don't know let's say june yeah and we were every week we were meeting with new people and it's super exciting and you know we had a very scheduled month so we get to this was like our second meeting and usually the way these things work is that everybody gets the directions on how to get there and we all meet in a waiting room and then the assistant comes out and says is everybody here we're ready to see you like at the time the meeting starts well we had a meeting at 3 30 and kelty is texting us at 307 that she's in the in the lobby waiting and so then i'm still like wet hair rush out the door i have not left yet definitely not getting there finally we walk in and not not to mention kelty has just props on

props on props so she brings visuals she brings sparklers like there's a whole power there's a circus in the waiting room and all these assistants are like what is happening so then we jack and i get there usually around the same time which is two minutes to spare yeah well we're waiting for our partners that are meeting us there there's three guys and they're in they're on their way they're on their way we don't see them it's 3 29 yeah kelty's like becca call them call them email them late they're so late they're late what it well what are we supposed to do do you think they forgot about the meeting it's they're late you would think it's 4 p.m 3 30 on the dot the three guys walking the elevator was literally like they really were so good at showing up exactly

Yes, like exactly the time. But to me, I'm sorry, to me, exactly on time is late. You should be 10 minutes early for everything. I'm early, too. You know that. No, I mean, I hate being late. It gives me crazy anxiety. I think five minutes early is.

I think five, it's perfectly acceptable. You and I do show up all, like, exactly the same. Yeah, you guys are always on the same. Can I tell you a really funny story about props in a meeting? So, you know, when you work in Hollywood, you, like, get an agent or whatever. And I had an agent, and I was looking for a new agent. And so I got this meeting with CAA at the time, which is, like, a pretty big agency. And they were like, yeah, we'll meet you.

But I'm like, nobody, right? So I was like, I really want to make a splash. So I actually made, like, two giant cardboard signs. And the first sign was, like, in, and it was all in rainbow-colored Sharpie marker. And it was like, who is Kelty Knight? I have a picture of it. You have cardboard signs? Yeah, like, big poster board signs.

Amazing. I can, I have the pictures. and then it's like she's authentic relatable um fashion like i had all like my bill of points of like what you should think and like what worlds i can be in and then it was like um and then there was a second one that was like all my goals of all the things i wanted to achieve with my career like good bangs no no it was like it was like host of national show like with all that kind of stuff and i've literally never lived it down my agent signed me there that she left the business and And still, anywhere we are, she's not even in show business anymore.

She's like, no, this girl came into CAA. Like, that's where, like, Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt, like, it's legit. Like, these people, like, handle people that make, like, $20 million a year, which I do not. And they're like, this bitch with her fucking poster board and her sharpie rainbow pack. It's the same thing, except Elena is making the poster. I would never make that poster. No, honestly, I got way less cheesy when Elena came in my life. all right you did i actually have to say that right your clothing clothing my hair down a few

pegs like in a good way of cheese right yeah i mean there are these pair of jeffrey campbell platform like studded like i belitas yeah yeah are they but that she still owns and she won't like i went to her house and she was we were i don't know where we were doing whatever but like she pulled them out and she's like i'm like oh that's trash and she's like no i'm what are these i'm like why do you want these oh they're in the closet right now no i took them home to put on my new shoe shelf oh my god they're nude leaders that are the ugliest shoe that everybody wore it's covered in spikes it's like the ugliest chunk it's a horrible shoe but i'm gonna peel yes yeah i'm telling you the reason i'm keeping this shoe is not because i'm ever gonna wear it

again it's a nostalgia shoe it's a shoe like okay so when i was in grade 12 i had this amazing pair of spice girls boots because spice girls was so big they're from italy and they were like combat boots but then they literally had like a 12 foot platform on them like just like spice girls yeah and when the platform thing was over i was like f these shoes i'm getting rid of them you wanted them back i just want them for like my personal archive like j-lo like j-lo keeps all her looks She kept the Versace dress. Okay, all right. I know no one's going to go to my archive.

You're not even having children. Who's even going to care? Who's going to care? These ugly shoes. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, they're literally the ugliest shoes. Oh, shit.

I just kept them. I kept my black pair, but I had an old sequin pair. I can see old Kelty in those shoes. That's weird. I wore them, too. I'm pretty warm. But I think it's because I knew this girl who used to be my roommate, and she still wore them, even when I lived there which was circa 2014 too late too late for Alita yep too late okay

um is there anything else you want to say about the lady gang Elena about working for me who do you like the best yeah who do you like the best I mean I've told this to Kelty plenty of times and every time I tell her it makes me want to cry but this whole thing has really changed my life Kelty just happened to come along at, like, the perfect time and was, like, I'm looking for someone. And I'm, like, this is, like, my perfect in to, like, get into this business. I literally, where I am now, health-wise, like, mentally, and it's, like, night and day to how I was before I came over here. Like, I am, like, the happiest person. I'm, like, going to cry right now.

Like, you guys have really, like, changed my life. i love you elena i know this is just like people are gonna be like really but no it's true and we love you too and you've really changed our lives i also think this is a nice message for anybody who's hating what they're doing for a living yeah it's really like never like i mean i don't know like it it really kind of was like at 26 and like luckily i had you know Like, my mom, who was, like, super supportive and was like, you have to just do, like, she's never been like, don't do that. Don't do that. And then, like, again, lucky that I had, like, a partner, like, who took care of, like, most of the financials.

I was able to, like, do something completely different and not worry so much about the money issue, which is a big thing that you kind of have to worry about, especially when you live here. Yeah. Luckily, it's worked out, and I, like, am able to survive. I couldn't be happier. And also, I feel cool because I remember one of the first great carpets I ever worked was called Juliana Rancic, and she had, like, 15 people in her entourage. She had, like, hair, makeup, a glam, whatever, and then, like, seven assistants. And then when I hosted the Grammy live show, Elena came with me

in her, like, black, like, bitchy outfit with her, like, little Gucci flats and, like, a big black bag and, like, walked beside me during the rehearsals and during the show, and I was like, I have made it. i have an entourage of one anyway on that note um it's time for us the lady gang but i still have a change on our sheet that says ask the vampire when we come back hey ladies ask the lady gang and we are back uh before we start ask lady gang if you guys want 20% off of jackpanic.com use code lady gang and i will give you some shit elena i'll believe it when i see it um are you ready to answer some questions yeah yeah all right our first question

is i can't read what you're ready you've got okay um our first question is from anonymous i read that i read that okay um she says my current boyfriend of almost 10 years recently hit my old male co-worker and friend breaking his jaw oh jesus i will not go into the night details but he ended up going to jail and has been charged with assault oh since then i've been having a hard time dealing with the events of the night and feeling torn between standing up for my friend and being supportive of my boyfriend i almost feel like i've been sweeping the events of the night under the rug which does not help keep my boyfriend accountable for his actions do you have any advice on feeling torn between my friendship and my relationship pose before bros why did he

hit that guy obviously listen no no no you do not want to be living or dating someone who hits people no so you're saying bros before hoes no i'm saying she has to pick the friend no i know that's bro he's male well worker oh definitely needs to talk to her boyfriend about this unless no it's a that's a breakup situation for me unless oh yeah unless the boyfriend has never had something like this happen before this is like a one and if this was something where he was protecting another person it is from the way that she said it it looks like he's in the wrong if he's charged with assault yeah if he's had like a violent past yeah this is only gonna be listen you don't get charged with assault for like just punching someone at the bar

no you do you do yeah you do oh yeah you could get assault for me so we don't know if it was warranted because i know like for me zach would get in a lot of fights in college he grew out of it thank god thank god but still to this day if someone does something that's disrespectful enough to me or someone he cares about he will probably go to prison like jesus please don't let this ever happen but let but that kind of person right if it happened i might be eating my words and i might be like i'm leaving this guy he's a psychopath but no roll the tape roll the tape um yeah like i need more details i know yeah well it's the way that she says it seems like it's he did it was like his fault and he did something wrong and i'm called for

so i'm going back you i mean the least you need to do is hold him accountable and have a talk with him but yeah shit you probably leave him okay next question uh from why do men exist and she says honestly ladies i lose all my judgment and common sense when it comes to dealing with exes i forgive too fast too often and easily get convinced by their small talk i need your advice why do i always surrender to the temptation i'm not someone to speak on this topic all right you get lost in the dick sand she is getting lost in the dick sand there's just i mean there's a reason why they're your ex and like nothing good ever comes from like dealing with an ex again because you're dealing with all these like unresolved feelings and all

this bullshit and it's just never gonna be a good situation it's never you have to read um the book it's called a breakup because it's broken um and then you have to make the calendar the healthy calendar 30 days 30 shitty things about them and at the end you will be cleansed um i did it you did it right yeah it's really hard though but it's like why also you have to make new neurological pathways in your brain remember the doctor told me that you have to like so listen it's just no it's a no it's a hard no with that too it's like the we talked about this on a different podcast but it's like they're taking up a space in your brain that you can't have for somebody new yeah that's gonna be so great for you that's not gonna make you feel like shit and it's not gonna be like

manipulative of your emotions so it's just like you gotta wrap the brain also someone was once on the podcast and said something along the lines of what would you say to your friend that was acting this way so take that advice that you would be giving that friend yeah well you know i mean i've been with my boyfriend for like five years now and that was the only boyfriend i've had no joke my entire life have you never been dumped either becca tell this no because i never i was always too focused on I'm a selfish person and I don't and I'm a selfish person because I always put myself before a boyfriend or a relationship and every time I dated guys but nobody was ever good enough for me to want to just date that one person yeah and but you have to be and I feel like

that's something that a lot of women like might get wrong is that like it's okay to be selfish if this was sex in the city you would be a backup no because i dated a ton of guys no i dated i dated like a bunch of guys and i made a lot of like oh but you had boyfriends yeah yeah yeah i like actually but like kind of similar to this like you know early when we started dating we kind of wanted to go on like a break and I was like no no breaks I'm not breaking I've already invested way too much into this

we're not breaking and if we do that's it I don't I'm not coming we're never getting back together and he like couldn't understand that and I'm like I like your style it's over it's over

be a hard ass be an Elena be an Elena okay don't be a Jack and Kelty we're good at it i'm just a sucker all right last question comes from anonymous lady and she says i met my best friend wait okay whatever her best friend and her have been friends since elementary school and they're almost in their 30s we have been through all our growing up life experiences together including having children she is my favorite person in the world but her kid is an absolute dick the other day i watched him for not even an hour and he completely ignored me i finally got really firm with him and he yelled i hate you my friend understands his issues and

even has him in counseling do you guys have any solutions waiting for a kidless outing is literally months in between and it would suck not to see her for that long i adore my best friend and would never break our friendship over that but something has to get kids are tough yeah it's tough to be friends with kids it's weird to say because they are like for real they're gonna tell you how it is And if they like you, they're going to like you. And if they don't like you, they're going to let you know that they don't like you. And I think that put yourself in your friend's shoes because she obviously knows her kid is a dick. Thank God she's not one of those people who thinks their kid is amazing and doesn't adjust the behavior because that's a deal breaker.

But the fact that she knows, have like a little compassion and also gratitude that's not your kid. but have a little compassion like you're that hour you spend with her kid that's her life and if you love your friend maybe just put up with it tolerate it for an hour and maybe just know that what you're doing is a very good deed you're relieving her of the stress of dealing with that kid by herself and then my advice would be to just like it's you say it goes months between like your time together i would like try to plan it so that was closer and whether that's like you picking up the tab for the babysitter or like something like that like making sure that you guys have like a definite standing like every month on a sunday you get two hours together also gifts help yeah

gifts help gifts totally help also i'm just sorry it's just hard yeah but like what becca said it's like thank god it's not your kid no my sister yeah my sister has a lot of friends whose kids are dicks and they don't even know their kids are dicks that's a real at least she's self-aware enough because i'm sure if you have a kid you think it's like the best thing in the world even them when they're like a little asshole so at least she hasn't been counseling she's trying and cool we're not we're not coming over no i'm not hanging out because yeah okay on that note elena thank you for being here you can follow elena you can follow elena on her great instagram account called ugly instagrams which is like i can't believe you haven't ditched us sold that

for a million dollars nobody wants it i want ugly instagrams well the only reason i did it was because it was like really when Instagram started and everybody was like, pretty pictures, pretty this. And everyone had like, pretty like, and when I'm like, oh, this is gonna be hilarious. Cause even when Aime was around, I like made my screen name like ugly face dog girl or something, cause I didn't want people to, I am.

That just sums you up in a nutshell. Sums her up. Sums her up. Okay, you can follow Jack Vanek at Jack Vanek. You can follow Becca Tobin at Becca. I'm at Kelty Knight. We are at the Lady Gang. Head on over to iTunes and subscribe to our podcast, Tell Your Friends.

And we have big news coming out soon about a live show in Los Angeles. So stay tuned. And see you next Tuesday. Yay! Woo! Yay! Join the Lady Gang every Tuesday at iTunes and at PodcastOne.com. That's PodcastONE.com.

Thanks for listening.