LadyGang - Evanna Lynch

Episode Date: October 5, 2021

Actress, writer, activist and podcaster Evanna Lynch stops by to share the therapeutic writing process behind her upcoming book and how through the darkness there had always been a higher calling, especially when she auditioned for the role of Luna Lovegood. Plus, she’s answering all your burning questions surrounding the films. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Bellesa: Go to bplus.co/ladygang to enjoy Bellesa guilt free! 18+ BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/ladygang  The HydroJug: Use code LADYGANG at THEhydrojug.com to get 10% off today!  Everlane: Go to everlane.com/ladygang and sign up for 10% off your first order plus free shipping! ZocDoc: Go to Zocdoc.com/lady and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor! Chinet: Visit MyChinet.com to find out more! Total Wireless: Do amazing with YOUR wireless plan at TotalWireless.com  Scream For Ice Cream: Sweeten up your sex life at screamforicecreamagain.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do amazing with Total Wireless. Get an unlimited talk, text, and data plan for $25 per month. One gig at high speed, then 2G. Total Wireless. Do amazing. A month equals 30 days. Terms and conditions at TotalWireless.com. Welcome to The Lady Gang. You're about to listen to our podcast, but there is so much more our community has to offer. Follow us at The Lady Gang, join our secret Facebook group, shop our clothing line, books, and find out when we're going to be in your city at TheLadyGang.com. We're so excited you're here. Enjoy the show. well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse

kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome to the lady gang i am becca tobin here with jack vanik and kelty knight hello you guys almost harmonized almost if i had any any sound of goodness in my voice. I know it's true. I feel like when I'm just singing around my house, like I actually do have a really wonderful voice. It's just when I have to sing an actual song where it starts failing me. How many times have you had to sing an actual song in public? No, I mean, when I was auditioning and like really trying to sing notes, like when I make up my own song, when I'm like, I've got some dates in my pantry, like that's not bad. It's bad. Oh, you sound like a lounge singer though i mean you could probably get a job somewhere

are you in a giant bow again yeah what is josie siwa oh it's like a scarf as a bow scarf bow so i am having an issue with my hair where i've now grown my hair so long and the ends are crunchy and i know they need to be trimmed but i'm so excited by the length that i refuse to trim them So I'm just trying to oil them to death to see if they'll calm down. I know they won't. I know I need a trim. I mean, you know, that's, that's the whole thing with the trim. You get a light dusting and then you continue to grow.

You know, but I just had a dusting. I sort of think that's bullshit. I, how can your hair follicle possibly know when you've had a little trim on the end of your hair? Well, it just stops breaking off at the end. Yeah. It's breaking off at the end, which I need. That's where the, the shortage begins.

Oh, I see. I see. I always thought it was like your hair knows when it gets a trim. It has feeling. Your hair's dead as soon as it comes out, right? Your hair is dead. Yeah. It's very dead.

Wow. All right. Well, thank you so much for letting us in. And now it's time for... Good week. Yes, it is. Bad week. Oh, no.

I would really like to go first. Oh, okay. Go for it. so my bad week is that i've noticed another kelty habit oh god oh no and i wonder if you've you've picked up on this too jack sometimes i'll be texting her like work stuff or whatever just communicating as you do yeah and um she'll respond like four texts in in i'm actually in therapy let me get back to you. So this tells me that Kelty is texting during therapy and has her phone out or on loud because I don't know a single person who has their phone out or not on silent

in their hour of therapy. Kelty, care to explain? First of all, yes, I would like to explain this. so i do um facetime therapy with my therapist so i cannot turn my phone off you can though you can put do not disturb on and then you don't get air notifications airplane but then how do i get the service to do why are you not doing it on your computer you can because we do it over phone i guess i can do it i guess i am now i guess i am now i'm sorry if you're if you're doing it on your iPad, are you, are you exiting the video with your therapist to answer a text message? Well, oh wow. This is just so dark. So what happened was in this particular time is that I was more than once it is. Yes. It hasn't happened to me yet, but I feel it happening.

What has happened is that the last few times I, I have like therapy at 9.00 AM and like, we're working in the morning and I'll, we'll be texting about something. And then what I should, okay. I know what I should do, which is like, Hey Becca, I'm gonna be away for therapy now for an hour. I'll get back to you. But I text up until my therapy appointment. And then I just switch over. She calls and I'm like, okay, here we go. And then I just go missing on the text chain, but people are still texting me and they're expecting an answer, but like, I'm not going answer for an hour. Um, but then I start feeling anxiety about not answering while I'm in therapy. So I have to write back and say, I'm in therapy. What I should just do is be like, Hey, I'm going

to get back to you in an hour. I have therapy now, but I don't do that. And that's my fault. Um, and I talk about it in therapy, but I say to my therapist, I say, Oh, hold on. I got to turn my, that's why I really love Slack, but we haven't been able to really get on that because you can just turn it off and you're like, okay, cool. It's not coming through as text messages. Do not disturb as your best friend. I guess I'm going to get into that. Wow. Every night when I go to bed. So funny. Okay. Well, my good week is I have a very unhealthy amount of like positive comments on Instagram. Like when I post a picture, I'm very lucky and I'm very fortunate, but I have a lot of people that just tell me that I'm like wonderful and

beautiful and amazing. And I know it's totally skewed and biased and like not, that's not real life, but, um, seems real to me. Grateful as I am. I loved that somebody kept it so real for me on Instagram the other day when I posted a picture and let me just read it. Um, read the comment. okay you're gorgeous talented flawed funny smart and vulnerable oh flawed I like I was just like thrown in there in the middle like you might just skip over it with all the other praise like it's almost as if I like as I was reading it I was like oh well maybe that's a typo for something flawless yeah flawed well it could be you have a lot of international fans it could be broken english where someone meant flawless but they just said flawed this person i don't know

i just liked their comment from minnesota i mean oh god hold on you're perfect in our eyes becca flawed um no i mean i don't i think he's i think he's american so but maybe he's into a woman he can save we know those types of people i'm just i really appreciated him keeping it real so i like that. You know what? You need to be knocked down a little bit. Because then I can take the other things to seriously. I can take those to the bank because he's like, you're funny and smart. It's like, okay, obviously I am because I'm also flawed. Yeah. This is a truth. You can believe him. You can believe him. I love that. Okay. Great. Honest comments. I'll go. My good week is I have a word for the dictionary. I feel like it's been a minute. And I hope I haven't done this

before um deja poo have i done this no okay deja poo definition like olivia rodrigo i don't know deja poo oh no don't listen that song deja poo definition is the feeling that you've heard this shit before oh so it's somebody that keeps on coming to you with the same bullshit over and over and over again that's some deja poo can i say what i thought it was what yeah i thought yeah i had to thought oh an extra poop like a ghost poop no like a poo that's reminiscent of another kind of poo you know like a special poo when you get one that like coils the way that you're supposed to when you have healthy intestine like i've only had that twice in my whole life i never get those I've had it twice and it was spectacular and that was deja vu like you eat

the dairy and you're like I'm gonna be sick and like you know it's gonna happen to you and you're like not this time and then you feel like the pressure and grumbling and you're like or it's like the special type of poo that I only get from my special type of a laxative like that's some deja vu that only special but when I was googling it because I was writing the definition down um poopery they have a product called deja poo which i must get now so very on brand cool um my bad week is so i got a new computer i talked about it the other week it was very exciting because shit isn't crashing every two seconds but the most jack bad week happened to me with my new computer and that is i lost all of my fonts my fonts that i've been collecting for

years and years and years i had thousands of them they're all gone how how they just didn't transfer over every little thing you need to get the into the cloud this is bullshit i don't think the font book saves on the cloud it's i don't jared tried to fix it and he knows everything i'm just i'm really devastated because now i'm gonna have to use comic sans curls and curls font and papyrus and that's gonna be the new lady gang vibe i'm just gonna make it cool it's been so bad that like maybe it's going to have its resurgence and that's our new thing really messed up for us i know it really hurts my soul because every project that i've opened from the old computer it's just not the same it's missing everything and now i'm crumbled that sucks i like to call

this the basic bitch uh good week bad week because like we don't have these incredible like far-flung stories it's just like real life and i'm going to continue this going my bad week is that i was recently um so you know that i lent this is the story everyone knows but i let my wedding dress to a lady ganger it got ruined by the dry cleaner and then i thought i'm gonna um diet diet yellow and like wear it as a gown it'll be fabulous um and so what we didn't know is that i am so messy in the kitchen that while i was dying it i accidentally sloshed a ton of the water down into my electric stove. I have an electric stove top that has like a vent in it. So there's no vent from the top. It's just vented there. It went down while the oven was on.

I heard it crackling and popping. And I was like, pretty sure I was about to light it on fire. And I was like off. And then all the lights and all the burners flashed six times. And then the whole thing was off forever. It would not turn on nothing. I went upstairs, downstairs. I read the power, like everything. This is three weeks that I haven't been able to make a pasta or an egg. Everything I've cooked has been air fried, microwaved or oven. Um, and you know this Becca, cause when you stayed with me, there was no, I could not make you my delicious basil pasta. Well, you've never cooked for me. So how often are you really using that? I cook all the time. I cook dinner for Chris at least four nights a week.

Like I really do use my stove top. So it was, it was that. So I did like all the things with the book. Like I tried to fix it online. I was like, well, so then I got an appointment with the company and they're like, we're going to send you out a technician. I'm like, okay, it's broken. And I was like, it's not under warranty. Like I'm going to have to get a new stove top. I'm like, God, it's expensive. So the guy comes and I was like, okay, here you go. I said, he's walking up the terrible driveway. And I was like, I'm so sorry. This is going to be the worst day because I think this thing is ruined and we're going to have to take it out. And like, this is going to really suck for you. And he was like, yeah, yeah. He's like, I see this all the time. He's like,

what did you do i was like i drowned it and he's like okay yeah yeah you know this is bad this is bad and so we get in and he presses he's like hmm he presses the on button the whole thing works perfectly oh wow isn't that good yeah i mean it's good but like it's also annoying like when did it start working have i needed to try out did you just not know where the on button was i mean that's something i would do no it's what happens to me is something doesn't work and then your macbook doesn't work and you're like okay i'm gonna stand in line i'm gonna go the genius bar i'm gonna like do my whole day so that i can go the genius bar and you get there and the problem that you have with the thing it doesn't do it in front of the fixer it's just perfect now that

happens with my car i get it right and you're like there's a clicking and then the person drives the car and they're like i don't hear the clicking and you're like anyway so that's what happened to me and i'm sorry i was expecting a bigger reaction but i understand that it's not that exciting. Um, so that was my bad week. I'm officially five weeks without diet Coke. Oh my God. Is that your, is that a record? No, I went a whole year once a year. I can't imagine that with you. Yep. I'm really proud. And I also, um, I'm really proud because there's been multiple times that I've been stressed out. And my normal stress thing is to go to McDonald's, I get a diet coke and instead i was like drink this water kelty water and iced tea have been my crutch so

live my life anyway i'm so excited about our guest today luna lovegood is here it's time to jump into the lady gang loves harry potter facebook group you know if you've been listening to the lady gang you know that we don't shy away from talking about sex on this show so i am here today to talk to you about porn yep porn there's an ethical porn revolution happening right now and it's happening on balessa introducing balessa plus the netflix of porn and people want better porn and people want ethical porn and balessa wants you to have both and right now balessa is letting listeners of the show choose what they want to pay for it no catch just head to b plus dot co slash lady gang and enjoy unlimited access and ad free ethical porn at your own price so i love balessa

so much because they're women owned they're women directed and women run content on balessa focuses on real connection and emphasizes genuine female pleasure that means no fake orgasm and no messed up ads so blessa is out here changing the entire porn industry so feel good about supporting great ethically made porn just head to b plus dot co slash lady gang choose what you want to pay and enjoy blessa's porn erotica and sex ed guilt free that's b plus dot co slash lady gang so the other day we were in our lady gang weekly meeting and all three of us were drinking out of our sponsor hydro jug. That's right. You guys need to get your hands on the water bottle. Everyone is talking about. It's one of our new favorite items. It's the hydro jug. These durable and reusable jugs

hold more than a half gallon of water. So you will stay hydrated all day long. Say goodbye to filling up your tiny bottle every hour and hello to hydro jug. So it holds half a gallon of water. Like I said, leak proof seal wide mouth opening, which is very important. Carry loop integrated handle, measurement scale, BPA-free, dishwasher safe, thank God, and shatterproof bottle. Some of our favorite things about HydroJug is the wide mouth because it allows you to fill the jug with ice or fruit, make your water special. You can track how much water you've drank throughout the day with the measurement scale. So check out HydroJug at thehydrojug.com. Use discount code LADYGANG to get 10% off your order today. HydroJugs are game changers for anyone on the go.

So again, use code LADYGANG at thehydrojug.com to get 10% off today and start hydrating today. All right, so it is officially fall and I am upgrading my fall wardrobe with my favorite brand Everlane. So Everlane has made quality clothing with ethical factories and radically transparent pricing since 2010. And they have everything that you need to upgrade your look, whether you're going out on the town with friends or having a movie night in with a fan. What I am obsessed with with Everlane recently is their brand new cardigans that are so, so cute and their lofty knit henley. They have this amazing turquoise color that I am obsessed with. They also have amazing athleisure wear and Jared's favorite pair of jeans in the entire world.

They have skinny to relax, slim to athletic jeans, and you can find the perfect cut that fits your form just right. And Everlane partners with the best and most ethical factories in the world for a fit to feel good about. and they accept returns within 30 days of the ship date. So go to everlane.com slash lady gang to sign up for 10% off your first order plus free shipping and get easy returns within 30 days of your ship date. That's 10% off your first order when you go to everlane.com slash lady gang and sign up.

All right. I love, love, love this sponsor ZocDoc. So basically we've all had the experience where we have on our to-do list that we need to find a new dentist or a psychiatrist or one of those specialty doctors. And it's always such a headache to find someone good and also to make an appointment. So that's why I love ZocDoc. It is a free app and it is the

easiest way to find a great doctor and instantly book an appointment. So with ZocDoc, you can search for local doctors who take your insurance, read verified patient reviews, and book an appointment in person or video chat. Never wait on hold with a receptionist again. Hallelujah. We love them so much. So whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or other specialists, ZocDoc has you covered. Every month, millions of people use ZocDoc and I am one of them. It's my go-to whenever I need to see a doctor. We love ZocDoc. It's a free to download and sign up for free. So it's the time to prioritize your health now. Go to ZocDoc.com slash lady, download the ZocDoc app to sign up for free and book a top

rated doctor. Many are available as soon as today. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash lady. Now back to the lady gang. I'm going to screw up the name of this town, but our guest today was born in Turremont, in fact, in Ireland. Blonde Beauty began her acting career in 2007 when she competed in an open audition against nearly 15,000 girls and won the coveted role of Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter movie franchise. No big deal. She appeared in four Harry Potter films

and became a main character in the final two films in 2010 and 2011. And she's also voiced her character in their video games. And since Harry Potter, she's become a staple in London's West End and placed third on Dancing with the Stars here in the U.S. She continues to pursue acting and is known even more so as an animal rights activist. She's also a small business owner, not so small anymore because it's crazy successful.

The Kinder Beauty Box is a monthly box of cruelty-free vegan and clean beauty delivered right to your door. And she's here today to talk about her brand new book, which is so wonderful. It's called The Opposite of Butterfly Hunting, The Tragedy and the Glory of Growing Up, a Memoir. We are thrilled she is here.

There's so much to talk about. please welcome to the podcast Ivana Lynch oh thanks thanks for that wow career retrospective there thank you you've done a lot you've done so so so so so much um why was now the perfect time to write this book um because of lockdown everything I just stopped um no you know what like people have been asking that like well why didn't you write it before but and I did I always was like oh this was something I I felt like I just it's not it's not even like I wanted to write it it was like a big nudge to write it and I'm like okay gotta do this gotta get this out of the way um but I think I'm actually really glad it took me all this time to to write it because

I think I'm better like writer storyteller like just technically but also I'm much further away from those experiences because when I first started talking about mental health and like my recovery from my eating disorder I was actually too close to it I think I still had a lot of issues and it's just it's been so different now going back to it and and kind of having the perspective of an adult but you know it's still close enough that I can the memories are a lot of them are still quite vivid so um yeah it took all that time but yeah really having lockdown and and everything just shut up and it was like okay I have nothing else to do except this book so it forced me to do it. Yeah. I want to read a little bit of the introduction because I really

think it sets it up for what this book is and your writing is so beautiful. The way you write is so rich. Um, and I have a little part that I, I got the advanced copy and I just wanted to read a tiny bit just because I think it's so beautiful. So she's talking about this kind of the introduction And she's talking about why it's important to like reflect on the hard things in life. And she says, I think it's because we're afraid of our own darkness. We're afraid that if we fully surrender to our darkness, we'll never come back from it. We're afraid that our darkness will go on and on and on, that there's no end to it and that we will get lost in it.

We're afraid that if we show these ugly, unpalpable parts of ourselves, it will be too much for others that no one will love and accept us and we'll be left alone with only the worst parts of ourselves for company. So we don't let ourselves get too deep into self-hate, at least not in public. We hurry to slap on the happy ending and construct a heroic tale before the healing has even begun. The thing is, I don't believe this coping mechanism is the healthiest way of dealing with darkness. I've read articles depicting my life as a fairy tale, even as I sat at home consumed by darkness. And those stories only compounded my feelings of isolation and disillusionment. And what I found out is that darkness is not infinite, that you do actually

get to the other side of it. But first you have to submerge yourself in it. You have to stop skating above the surface of your depths. You have to confront and accept this darkness in order to heal from it. It's so beautiful. Wow. Good, good. Thank you. This is sort of the introduction and she's setting it up and like, this is just that kind of book. Like it just rips your soul and it makes you feel less alone because you're sharing so much. Um, can you talk about the book as a whole? Yeah, absolutely. So, um, I mean, that was really what I, the intention I had when going into it was just like, I can't write about self-love without writing really in depth about self-hate. And I do think, you know, people, people are so, it is that they're so scared of

the darkness and and the nastiness and like the cruelty of your own inner mind or mental illness because yeah we're afraid that we won't be loved and that it's just there's there's it's not possible to overcome all that and yeah I just found you know when I was going through my eating disorder I did get all these quite saccharine sweet uplifting books you know with quotes and stuff and the funny thing is when you are in a dark place and people just keep sending you positive affirmations it just sounds like sarcasm it's just like that I don't believe that at all and I I think you know even as a kid even as a 11 12 or whatever the age I was when I was going through it I just saw through all that I was like nobody's talking about this this these horrid this

cruelty inside me this meanness I can't manage and it's it sounds much more convincing than the sweet you know superficial trivial stuff so um yeah and that that intro for the book is kind of there as a warning to be like you know this is a tough read it's not just going to be all self-love like and I want people who read it to just be mindful because you know it's got it's going into the voice of a person with an eating disorder so sometimes it can be really toxic and mean but I just feel we have to be honest about that in order to get through it in order to kind of you know, laugh at it and really, I suppose, bring it all to light, you know, that's a cliche, but bring that darkness to light. That's the only way. So, um, yeah, it's, uh, I'm sorry,

we're going all over the place with an answer. And I think the thing is that we've all been in that position before where something terrible is going on in our life and person goes, it's all going to be okay. And you're like, go yourself. Like, that's not what you want to hear. And I, I love a positive quote, but like, sometimes it just helps some to read or to be around someone who's like, here's my journey. You know, I've always loved to read memoirs for that exact reason. What was your low, low, low point that you hit where you were like, okay, I need to start on this journey. Um, like from the book or from the, that whole life, like, yeah, the whole era, like, you know, there's been many, you know, so it's like a rocky road. Yeah. Yeah, of course.

And that's the thing. Like I've sort of turned my life into a story, but like our lives aren't stories they just go on and on and you know we keep we're always trying to find balance and trying to find you know I don't know mental health a state of equilibrium and it's gone all over the all over the place for me I mean yeah like real low dark point the height of my eating disorder was when I was 11 12 13 in hospital um and and that you know that's when all the physical symptoms were there but I actually and I talk about this a lot in the in the book that the probably the loneliest hardest place was post-recovery because suddenly you know you don't have this thing this sort of numbing agent uh you don't have this thing that people identify you by and know you for and

and then that this kind of superficial problem is hiding the problems beneath that that were always there and when that's taken away and suddenly nobody's worried about you're kind of just like well who am I what am what am I doing now and um so that was that was a lonely time and and also like again what I talked about in the book um you know I was in the media a lot talking about this and there was this narrative that like oh now you've got this success now you've redeemed yourself now you're a worthy human being and that really I struggled with that because then when I wasn't when I was having periods in my life in my career where you know I wasn't busy I wasn't getting the jobs it was suddenly like well what is my self worth now or do I need to go back to my my old

coping mechanism my eating disorder so really I really struggled with that those were some there were some dark points like what between after Harry Potter uh between the early 20s because it was just like oh this thing that the world has told me this is my value this is my worth and it's not actually happening the way I wanted it to and yeah I think you just have to have something much more solid and much more not depend on those external um you know the external validation You have to have a solid inner foundation of your own self-worth because those things can go away and, and, and they will, you know, and you have to find a way to not go back to your old self-destructive mechanisms. I can't imagine like just from being part of, of something like being

on Glee was this big as far as how big something is in the world. And like the zeitgeist, like Harry Potter was massive, is massive. It's like this huge thing. That's so much bigger than any of you. And I just, from this tiny little experience and watching the people around me who shot up to stardom and like the afterward is so tragic. Like it's, it's such a, and listen, we don't have to feel sorry for anybody who had this like major success in financial, whatever, like, but there's so much darkness on the other side of coming off. Cause that is who the world has told you. You are like, you're saying it was like this narrative of now everything's amazing. and wonderful, but it's, they're not there when the job's done. Like it's, you're left with

yourself and what you thought was, was who you are is also suddenly gone. So was how long of a period, I imagine you experienced that, but like, how did you get through that? Because I find that people don't at all. Sometimes they stay in it. Yeah. Oh no, absolutely. Cause it, it can be another form of addiction thing really, you know, and just that, or even working like validating yourself based on how productive you are and I think so many people suffer with that like you know this in this merit merit meritocratic society it's like especially in our industry it's like what are you doing um I don't know I just I mean Harry Potter we were lucky in that we were very enclosed and there wasn't social media so we weren't more disconnected from it but

but yeah afterwards you're right there's nobody telling you what to do and um it's a lot harder then it looks you know on the inside of people people will I'm sure you've had this too people been like why are you not on screen more it's like you know what I'd love to know um but I I guess I just I've always had a good well I had a good therapist since I since I had my issues as a kid and and she very much kept me on the spiritual path and um yeah like I would have periods but I would just kind of go off the deep end and and I would get I don't know into toxic relationships or I just throw myself into my job and and not not take care of any other part of my life but then you always come back

to it like those things go away and it's like yeah who is there in your life what has meaning what what is your what's going to anchor you throughout that and I mean I think I have those things now but no they're they're definitely a rocky few years of of not not having that and feeling this frantic need to kind of fill this hole I suppose this space that I didn't that I didn't want to acknowledge you know yeah and I think that's one of those things too that people outside of the industry can totally relate to and identify with not obviously having being on a tv or movie screen but whether that's like you're in a relationship or something like an eating disorder anything that's like identifiable for your character and then losing that or

changing that it really leaves you kind of at nothing and wondering what else there is within you that's going to make you the person that you are so you know I feel like that's like when you for normies that's also very relatable but for like the normies out there it's like for a job or maybe you're part of a community or you're part of like a mom's group or even or a relationship a relationship or like your kids go off to school or whatever that is like the thing we all have those things where we're like i am this person you know and when that gets taken away and you have to like sort of look at yourself again and be like am i worthy without whatever that thing was that i built my life around like think of all of our friends getting divorced i

mean i'm sorry that's like really sad but like you built your whole a lot of my friends got married in high school like right out of high school and now they're getting divorced in their like mid-30s and it's like they're starting their whole life again like they were known as mrs what's her face and so it's like it can be really really scary and i think one of the things you talk about in this book is like the the that very empty pursuit of perfection like how that is something that we all go for and that it's just empty because it's limited isn't it we're looking for an end we're looking for yeah again somebody in the outside world to say you that's enough you've done enough you're good now and you're never gonna get that and I I mean that's again

what this book is about it's like creativity if you want to live a creative life is the antithesis of that it's it's unlimited and it's it's um unpredictable and wild and and just like you you're never done like even with this book it was like I was editing it right till the very end my editors probably hate me we'll never do another one it's just like it's not it's never going to be done and perfect and and and if you want to be expressive and creative you're just going to have to live with that and you're going to have to yeah give up trying to I don't know capture something and that's why the butterfly symbology is in the book because it's about um yeah just letting kind of beauty and color and magic letting it be letting it breathe and not trying to hold on to it pin it

down and possess it like I just think that strangles us creatively that we end up destroying our bodies we end up exhausting ourselves and yeah you you what's it all for what I don't know somebody else somebody somebody in your imagination you're trying to please you never will you know I have a question for you after after Kelty reading that intro and I feel like this is probably pretty relatable for a lot of people it's like the only way out is through and as somebody who really likes to dodge the uncomfortable, the bad feelings, the dark things, the blah, blah, blah, the whatever. I have worked with a therapist for a long time and I'm like, okay, I'm ready to go through it. I'm ready to face it. I'm ready to feel whatever that

darkness is. But it's like, how do you, you also have to relearn how to do that. You have to learn how to tap into that. So I guess my question is for people who want advice on that, like, how do you face the darkness? Like, what are things that you have done to sort of like introduce yourself to that part of yourself, get to know it and like, then deal, know how to deal with it? Um, yeah, that's a, that's a big question, of course. And cause it's always, when it comes up, you do want to just fill the space and fill it with noise and be busy, but I don't know. I think it's just accepting being uncomfortable. Um, I do a lot of journaling. that's where when it's just like pain or whatever um and I I do a lot of work with like different

spiritual teachers I have two shaman teachers and they talk about holding what is it the holding the tension of opposites like all your feelings whether you're in deep grief or deep joy that you have to kind of hold on to both and something new will come through um I don't know that's a bit of an abstract answer but yeah I mean journaling dancing just anything to get it out I think the problem happens is when and this is where it becomes self-destruction is when you feel those things and then you keep it inwards and then it kind of it's like it's an energy that kind of putrefies and destroys you from the inside out so I think anything you can do to express that and yeah, for me, it will be dance, writing, therapy, that kind of thing. Um, yeah. How about you? What

do you do? I mean, I've had so many weird, um, assignments from my therapist and she's kind of more of this on the spiritual side of things as well. And I remember I had to do mirror gazing where I had to every single day, sit in front of the mirror and look into my own eyes. and it was shocking that like I I would feel I was so bottled up because I just don't want to deal with the sadness or the darkness or whatever it is but the moment that you sit there and you have like nothing to do but to look at yourself and look yourself in the eyes it was like just you I would sob some days I would just like stare and and like send myself love on other days it was like whatever it was it was it was literally not being able to hide from yourself so those were

things and the journaling and also like writing down things and then burning them like that was something for me that was so cathartic because it was like you said it's an energy that I was able to get it out and then the actual burning of the paper was a release of that thing and it's so people are so weirded out by this stuff and it's so like not me it's witchy it is witchy it's witchy but there was no other way there's no like you can't subscribe to any like one thing to face your darkness or go through your grief or pain or whatever. But those little things were really helpful for me. So that's kind of why I brought it up. Cause it was, I was like, well, how do I do that? Like what, what am I supposed to do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. True. It is. It's

hard. And as you say, you don't want to feel it. You'll do anything else. But, um, my therapist, and yeah, she's, she's so spiritual. She's so off the deep end. Like she doesn't even believe in talking therapy now which I'm like I really miss that but she um she is an existential psychologist but I remember at a point just like a dark place in life I went to her just being like because you know you use you you kind of reach for all types of things eating disorders or addictions or yeah relationships but I got to a point where I was like I'm just so sick of life I'm sick of being alive I don't get it I don't get what's the point and she gave me the most practical answer ever she was like so she believes in reincarnation which i actually do too and she

was like okay just so you know if you do if you do ever go through with that you're gonna have to deal with it in the next life it's not going away so you're just gonna be in for a harder time you're gonna have to start all over again you're gonna have trauma she's like you're gonna have all this um trauma from you know hurting yourself and you're gonna have to deal with that and she just made it like you know people think of things like these yeah self-harm and abuse as as an escape as a relief from pain, but it's, it's actually making it worse. And when she said that, I was like, damn it. There's no way out. There's no way out. You do, you have to go through it. Otherwise you're just going to keep having to learn the same lessons and go over it again and again. So

yeah. It's funny because Becca said, I remember this has always stuck with me because it happens to me too, where like, I went to therapy when I was like having a grief and then, um, I've stuck with it. And there's some weeks where you like, see it on your calendar and you're like, I'm so good yeah I don't need to do this like my life is I'm on a high like everything's great and then like when you're like I think I can just see you every two weeks like I'm doing so well that's the week where it all like crashes and falls like it really is like it's kind of like stay the course because life is up and down and all of that I do want to ask you before I move on to the next section um one thing I mean you're talking about in this book like your lows and and your weaknesses

and and these different dark things but then on the flip side of it you have this incredible like why the f**k not me mentality when you go and audition against 15,000 other girls for this role so like you're so low there's so much darkness and then at the same time you're like I'm the f**king greatest here we go like how did that happen um I don't know if it was quite that five but we're close close i um i mean that that was i think there was always that those dreams that creativity glinting through the darkness and that's what i you know that's the book i'm trying to because it is also for people families and friends people with eating disorders to be like here's how you can support them you know don't zone in on their eating disorder don't just obsess

over that find the bits of them and nourish them nurture them and help them to believe in those things because that those are the things rather than you know any rehabilitation program that was what really brought me out of it um so I think I mean I just I was lucky that I had people around me that continued to pull those things out of me and to encourage me that way um so yeah by the time Harry Potter came around that audition I was already I was pursuing like acting and creativity I was like this is what I want to be and this is what I want to do and I do think yeah I had I was very insecure but I think it was just like this sounds a bit pretentious but like it was a higher calling you know it wasn't it was less about ego it was less about proving myself it

was more I just fully loved that character I adored her and and it was more like I'm here in service to her rather than I have to get this for my career so I can have a successful life and that helped me just get out of the way and I found that like in audition since like I'll have one or the other like sometimes there'll be characters I just don't care about and I get in my own way I get too self-conscious I try to manipulate the situation but when I really love a character I can get out of my own way it's similar with you know love and relationships it brings out your best self so um yeah I'm not the most versatile actor because I have that because I really really need to love what I do but it yeah when I find that it's it it's it's easy yeah you're like the

most thoughtful human I've ever I know and the whole book is like the whole book is just every sentence you have to sit like munch on it a little bit before you move on to the next sentence which I love, love, love. So before we get to the next part, if you guys are at this point, please head over to Amazon or read by your books and pre-order The Opposite of Butterfly Hunting, The Tragedy and Glory of Glowing Up, a memoir. All right. When we come back, we have important questions for you. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Is there something interfering with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals? Sometimes there's just kind of like this dark cloud over your mind and you can't

figure out exactly what you're upset about and, you know, something that you can work out with your brand new therapist because better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You can start communicating in under 48 hours and it's not a crisis line. It's not self-help. This is like therapy for people like me who do not want to drive across town to go sit in some old lady's office and talk about their life. It's available for clients worldwide. And you can do all kinds of different ways. You can do phone sessions, video sessions. You can even do text sessions. It's amazing. So visit their website, check out betterhelp.com slash lady gang. That's better help H E L P and join the over 2 million

people who've taken charge of their mental health with help of experienced professionals and lady gang listeners. You're going to get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash lady okay ladies can't remember the last time you wanted sex oh you've got kids in the car oh we'll call it ice cream listen ice cream you scream but maybe not for a set i mean ice cream oops if your desire for ice cream feels well like a rocky road you're not alone millions of women have felt their libido melting away because of a medical condition known as hypoactive sexual desire disorder or hsdd but unlike brain freeze hsdd can be treated maybe it's time to change the flavor of the day from not in the mood to libido renewed so whether you're into plain vanilla or

the queen of whipped cream down to cone or deciding between the big or little spoon it's time to scream for ice cream again visit scream for ice cream again.com to learn more that's scream for ice cream again.com. We love Chinette. They are a premium disposable tableware brand. And if you're anything like me, you're having people over and you don't want to spend forever getting ready or washing your dishes after. Chinette is the go-to brand for cookouts, holidays, birthdays, game nights, baby showers, and so much more. They have amazing products. The Chinette Classic, of course, is microwave safe. It's made with at least 80% recycled materials. It's made in the USA and it's super durable. And then if you want to get eleganza, you can go to the Chinette Crystal.

There's no shatter, has this unique swirl design. It's made in the USA. And then there's the Chinette Comfort, which is an amazing way to keep your delicious hot drinks hot with a little snap on lid. So visit MyChinette.com to find out more. We're so excited for our show in Austin to partner with them. And you can visit MyChinette.com to find out more. Do amazing with Total Wireless because when you move to Total Wireless, you can get an unlimited plan with incredible devices. Now with 5G available in 2,700 plus cities. Capable device and SIM required.

Get our best deal ever with an unlimited talk, text, and data plan for $25 per month per line for four lines with 100 gigs of shared high-speed data, then 2G, which can save you up to $80 each month when compared to comparable four-line post-paid plans from the leading carrier. All of this on the network more Americans depend on. Actual availability, coverage, and speed may vary. Visit TotalWireless.com slash coverage slash check for more detailed coverage info.

Plus, when you move to Total Wireless, you can get the latest devices like the newest smartphones and even hotspots to keep you connected to what matters the most, all with no contract. Discover us at TotalWireless.com today. Total Wireless, do amazing. A month equals 30 days. A 30-day cycle for shared family data plans begins on the day of the first line or device is activated. Any lines or devices activated later in the first 30-day cycle will receive only the number of days remaining in that cycle. savings claim excludes taxes fees auto pay discounts and limited time pricing source

competitor websites april 2021 you're listening to the lady gang all right so we're back now being with becca glee tobin i know that there's nothing you hate more well actually don't hate there's nothing an actor dislikes more than when they move on with their life and then we keep harping on that show that we love so much and that we can't let go of. I tried to save you. I tried to save you. I just want to get that out of the way that I know that this is your least favorite thing. However, it's not, it's not, it's not. Lady Gang has its own. So we have a Facebook group, a Facebook community, but we have a whole separate Facebook group that I'm a part of that is just Lady Gang Loves Harry Potter. And it's like a whole other separate Lady Gang

group and so I would I would get burnt at the Voldemort if I did not at least go and say you were coming on and I collected a few questions but I kept them very funny and hopefully things you haven't had to answer before just so we can like really lean into this for one moment and I'm so sorry in advance and Becca I'm embarrassed for you right now and Jack but like I'm doing it okay number one how did hegrid's mom and dad actually have hegrid because he was a human and she was a giant and that seems like it would be a micro penis situation yeah oh my god that she joe definitely did think about that it wouldn't have worked the other way around if it was no he would have killed her if he was giant and she was a little lady like a giant penis you're right yeah

so i i think you know she it's what is it they say that it's it's how you use it or not the size of the boat it's the motion in the ocean yeah absolutely it was just you know a a feisty man i i think he was quite you know big anyways but yeah brave he wasn't afraid of a strong lady i love that amazing okay so we know that people i just assume that when you're making these movies you're sitting around all day and since you were a fan like you're just sitting around like figuring out the things that read between the lines so okay we know that people can't get into Hogwarts easily because of all the security right so how did Charlie Weasley's friends access the grounds via broom to take Norbert to Romania and how did Harry and Ron

get through with a flying car in their second year oh this is one of those um plot hole things there's so many of those I'm not gonna explain that I don't know um can't they do things like they can intentionally lift the charm so Muller can do that if he wants to but yeah it's probably just a little pothole that shouldn't blow up um who in the cast was the Harry Potter expert that knew everything about the book that would be like pointing out the potholes and pointing out like this wouldn't happen or what like during the filming 100 I was such a really yeah yeah I was felt so annoying yeah no just because that was because i was a shy awkward teenager and harry potter was my social currency so when people would make a mistake i'm like i know this you

know and i was yeah get in there when you were cast 14 oh my god so young wait and the books had the books been out oh like have you read any of the books okay yeah so the up until the fifth one was that or no the sixth one was that six books were out there was one more to go yeah was there a part of one of the books that was cut that wasn't in the movie that you would have loved to like been in a scene um yeah there was there was lots there was i would have loved to be there was a bit where luna was supposed to commentate the quidditch match i would have loved to be in and it was originally in the script but they didn't put it in and then also dumbledore's funeral i was really devastated when they cut that out tried to negotiate with the producers but they

were like, it's a budget thing. You're like, but you need it. Mermaids and the centaurs. Yeah. I have a question for you. So this, since you were such a fan and then like you have these expectations of going in and auditioning and then getting the job, like in your mind, it was probably the most incredible, like the bar was probably so high for what that experience was going to be for you. Did it match up when you were doing it or did you have moments doing it where you're like pinch me this is amazing or this wasn't really what I expected like it's so oh no definitely it was so it was incredible just because of like the level of excellence by all of the crew like how every little detail the things you could I mean you see them if you go to

the tour or the exhibitions but um to be there to just like you know somebody would be there typing up an article for the daily prophet and pouring over that nobody's gonna read that but it's it's just like oh everyone really cares about it but at the same time on set sometimes like people would just be moaning about what they had for lunch or they'd be like I want to get home to watch I'm a celebrity get me out of here and it's like me the Harry Potter purist was like sacrilege I was like we're doing God's work here we literally were yeah so um yeah it was funny that like people for some people it was just a normal job it was just their craft it wasn't this big they weren't thinking about we're creating a legacy they were just doing their job they weren't thinking that

like 10 years later you'd be on a lady gang uh podcast would have asked like is there a wrong way to hold a wand my last question is what was the last scene that you ever personally filmed and were you emotional oh yeah it was uh very cathartic because it was the battle of hogrid scene so where everyone the whole entire cast basically of all the films and and Hagrid comes out carrying Harry's body it was that scene and we all were um it was lovely because I mean it wasn't it was a very serious somber scene but it was great because everyone was there so it was like you got to hug everyone we had a big cast photo and um yeah because usually like on the other films the last shot will be a shot of your hand and you'd be like okay that's it then yeah

like I guess I'll go exactly um so it was nice to have that as the whole group and then to yeah to really sell send it off together were you so scared for that to end yeah um I just had no concept of it ending kind of like school you're like this will just go on and and but also when it's gone you don't realize how much you miss it and yeah it was probably only in the year after that it was like oh it's it's never coming back I wish I had been more present for that experience you know that's like the problem of life i mean it really is we're like so busy again on the next thing it sounds like you were pretty present though um so i know on your instagram i saw that you are going on you were on a show with some of the old cast yeah yeah so do you keep

in con i mean i hate this question but i've watched becca get asked a million times like you're all still friends you hang out but now you're going on the show so i feel like i can't mask like yeah yeah um it's kind of it is a family vibe where you just breeze in and out of each other's lives you know like I just know there'll always be an opportunity like that came out of the blue yeah James and Oliver Phelps who play the Weasley twins they're doing this travel show and they're having uh me show them around Ireland and Bonnie in Iceland a few different so things like that just keep coming up but I do have a like a couple who are you know best best friends um like katie leung who played cho chang and scarlet bernie played pansy parkinson so they're friends

i see all the time but you know everyone else yeah we all get on and just know they're they're around they're in the atmosphere you know yeah yeah cute okay last question do you think at some point they will remake all these movies like everything from my childhood that i love because i'm old they cannot remake these movies there's no way make everything i know but they just you can't you can't touch such gold i'm just saying that like they will eventually they're going to aren't they they can't know i mean i think they will eventually like i feel like they'll probably do a tv series i think that'd be great yeah would you ever do a spinoff like your own spinoff luna oh absolutely sign me up yeah definitely but i'm getting too old we're gonna be playing the

teacher soon because it is weird like so many it doesn't feel that long ago but then so many of those um that generation have actually died off the cast it's like no it's it's we'd we'd have to be the grown-ups next oh my god i didn't think of that but kind of like the next generation right yeah it's kind of it's kind of crazy and i mean that never works to be honest with you like when they do. I don't want new people. I want those same people. Just pretend like you're playing young people like in pen 15. You can just pretend that you're like 12 years old forever. Dear Evan Hansen. He's like 28 years old, shaving his arms, trying to play a teenager. You look great. So with the right lighting, you're 14 again. Um, cool. You're so lovely. Everyone in the lady

gang, please go and support her. Get this book, pick it up. It's coming out October 14th. Um, let's get her to number one on the New York times bestseller list. Um, but, but also let's just read it because it's, I know you put your heart and your soul into this book and, um, it really comes across and it's a wonderful, wonderful read. So again, the book is the opposite of butterfly hunting, the tragedy and the glory of growing up a memoir. And also you can head on over to kinderbeauty.com to check out the beauty box, which has been massively successful. So congratulations to you on that you already follow her like all four million of you um but if you're not you can follow her at ivana lynch on instagram thank you so much for having me this has been so

nice thank you for being so sensitive like i have been nervous to have you know these interviews but it's so lovely to have a really deep chat and thank you for having me on i'm just yeah and we will see you next day next tuesday thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's so great swipe up to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at the lady gang.com and join our secret facebook group it's super fun see you next tuesday