LadyGang - FLASHBACK FRIDAY: Allegedly What's the Toast?

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

The Morning Toast hosts Jackie and Claudia Oshry are hanging with Keltie and Jac talking about their show, a paparazzi moment, chillin' with Leo Dicaprio on a yacht, and most importantly...a rousing round of Allegedly Wassa Happening! Original Air Date: October 22nd, 2019See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek.

We love it. Hello, hello, hello. Oh, no. For the first time ever, Becca Tobin is out of the office. It's the first time. First time. It's the first time we've ever. No.

Well, we do Jonathan Van Ness, just me and you. Sometimes Becca doesn't come to work. She's lazy. I can relate. And we have the greatest fill-ins of all time. Claudia and Jackie Oshrae are here. Girl with no job. Jackie-o problems.

Becca and I have both been to New York last month and appeared on their hit podcast, The Morning Toast. And now it is Toast LA week. So they are here in LA and we were like, please come say hi. and honestly these are like the super supportive best internet friends of the lady gang like when lady gang tv was going on so good big fans i know but hold on hold on no we're gonna talk about it we're gonna talk about it okay um when lady gang tv was going on we didn't even really know y'all you know we've never met in person and there i'm there i am on girl with no jobs instagram being Instagram storied by you and my brilliance.

You want to know why? It's because like when something like a show like that, I'm so jealous of everyone and everything. I'm like, whenever someone gets something, I'm like, it should be me. Like I'm so narcissistic and it's something I'm really working on. It's like my resolution.

Nice. But I was so surprised at how much I liked the show and it was really good. And all we do is talk about how bad everything is. So when it's good, like it deserves to be recognized just as much as the bad stuff, you know? Okay.

Now, arguably more. Yes. Yeah. With that, there was one. There was a little thing. There was a thing. we and you weren't right no i was gonna say what was it did you guys call me annoying we think jack was annoying which is so funny because out of the three of us

we're so annoying we identify yeah you're like we're celties yeah we don't do this like cool girl made back that's what it is we were really just like jealous and intimidated like your cool t-shirts and like your whole vibe i can never be like you like i'm so annoying so insecure are like so self-aware and you just were sitting there on your TV show and I'm not gonna lie like I was jealous like people are always like why do you say things about Meghan Markle I'm like honestly it's because I'm jealous like she's a princess I love I love the self-awareness oh that's amazing because that's why anybody talks shit that's why we all talk shit 100% I'm jealous of everyone like it's a really bad quality okay well I'm glad that we cleared that I'm literally

like who's your hookup in Vegas you guys are always in a suite what the fuck I hate those bitches and I'm like I love them because I'm just jealous because when I go yeah to Las Vegas I'm always at like the tropicana in like a 49.99 all meals included deal you know what i mean i don't get the cosmo you get the buff the 9 1999 buffet right and like also poisoned yeah um but okay so what we thought we would do for this special episode of lady gang is that we would invite our super friends to participate in good week bad week with us so this feels like an episode of Lady Gang TV. It is great.

Welcome. So we are going to begin so that we can show you how... Jack's going to begin. Oh, okay. Okay, Jack. So it's time for... Good week.

Yes, it is. Bad week. Oh, no. There you go. We'll see. Becca usually does these intros, so she doesn't know what she's doing right now.

Okay, I know exactly what I'm doing because I produced this show. Just a lie. That is true. Okay, so my good week is... So in the Lady Gang, we have what we call

our Lady Gang dictionary. So they're basically just a bunch of words that we make up or other people tell us and they're always like a word smush so i have a new word for the lady gang dictionary and it's called sinfluencer and it's an influencer or a person that influences you to do sinful things oh that's

really good that is good isn't it yeah my friend just said it in conversation the other day who are you referring to what sorts of sins i mean i am depends on what you think is the sin right like i can be like a drinking sinfluencer yeah somebody else could be like i'm definitely an eating influencer yeah kelty's a i never sinned following all the rules jack's like uh let's do things at the last minute before they're due like let's do homework you should work at the morning toast listen i'm really good in the 11th hour that's where i thrive when it counts yeah the day something's due i'm like waking up at 5 30 and finish you have a bad week my love okay so my bad week is my boyfriend does not smell i mean that's a good that's a good thing he doesn't smell

he has no body scent like whatsoever he can work out a body scent he can play show he has no pheromones like at all um and it's so weird that's why it took you 10 years to date him because like i wasn't getting any energy no so um the other night we're like kind of like laying in bed like sort of cuddling and i was like oh my god you can smell i was like for the first time you have body odor this is amazing yes and so i go to smell underneath his armpit and then i realize that it is me with a disgusting body odor i smelt like trash and he still smelled like nothing so that's a bad week that's great that is that's amazing yeah i also had a bad week yes bad week um my friend emily is one of the top and i know we hate an ml mlm but i know but she is

like the top gotta bmw from them or mercedes from them she's the old me she's okay rodan and fields is trash but trash that um eyelash serum is a life changer i have it yeah it is that is good so anyway i i have been supporting her because i'm like you do you and then she gave me some lash boost to try it i was like it really works so then i started telling all my friends yeah then she launched this new product and it is basically like a high at home hydrafacial and this is not an ad rodent and fields if you want my advertising dollars i will give you a real ad this is not they will not give ads okay lms don't do ads well anyway okay so what it is is it's like an at-home suction machine that sucks up your blackheads oh my god i need that and you put

like a serum and then it sucks your blackhead so i did it on chris my husband i saw it on your and it was incredible it was like a dish full of facial blackheads and i was like okay i'm gonna do it on me and i love a facial tool i'm the person that's like i'm gonna shave my face and then i come maybe makeup artist is like what happened your face and i'm like nothing it's like did you hacksaw your face to death like i go so extra yeah so i'm like suction my face and i'm like oh the nose and like shit's coming out and then i'm like let me just see what happens if i suction some of my zits and so i had like this cheek zit so i started suctioning my zits and then what happened is i saw the white head turn into blood and like pull itself out so then

i put it all on instagram i'm like well here's my review um it works pretty good but like don't put on your zits because it'll bleed and then like my little jar is filled with like blackheads and blood which emily retweets me and she's like by the way if you would have listened to my instructional video on this product or read the packaging it's for t-zone only so i have now aggravated these blush line zits are the worst there's no way to cover them and the more highlighter you put on it yeah the worst it just highlights the zits so now i have sucked it out I still stand behind this machine. I just want to say, I thought it was like, um, like, you know, Carrie Bradshaw had just

like that thing on her chin. Yeah. I didn't think it was a pimple. I thought it was just like a facial feature. Oh, look, I have one of the, I have a mole right there. Yeah. But that's what I thought it was. I have a hardcore pimple here.

Yeah. It hurts. I need that suction thing. I have so many blackheads on my nose. The suction thing is amazing. Yeah. You can only use it on blackheads. It's not a way head thing.

It's supposed to be just, yeah, it's supposed to be just for like those, like in between your nose. That's me. I did try it behind my ears because one time I had a facialist like fold my ear over and go to town. I was like, I didn't even know I had to worry about behind my ears. There's so much shit on the like underside of your chin that you don't even know about. Don't even start there because then you can't stop.

But I like popping my blackheads and I feel like that machine would take my joy away because like I want to do it. No, it kind of gives you joy though. Because when you have the pot and it's full of like more gunk you've ever seen. Honestly, if I would have known you're so into it, I would have brought you it because there's low cap. You could share with a friend. It comes with a set of five caps.

Anyway. Okay. Good week. I have big news. everyone and i'm excited that the toast is here to celebrate with me i'm nervous of what this is did you get another emmy no close almost better i am officially so famous oh my god that i got my first ever endorsement deal oh that is okay and here's the thing normally when hollywood comes a calling no it's not the dog oh my god i've never seen jackie's scared of a dog

A dog person. Callie, come here. He is just creeping up on me. She, she. It's a girl. Were you bit by a dog when you were a kid? No, I just, like, it's sneaking up on me, like, brushing past my legs, like, oh, my gosh. That is so rude.

It's a she. Okay, I'm going to forget you said that. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So rude. Here in my home. I'm trying to be cool. I'm really sorry.

Normally, I have asked for, like, years. Every time I have, like, my yearly agent meeting, I'm like, they're like, what do you want to accomplish this year? And I was like, I want an endorsement deal. Like, I should be the face of Olay. you should defense mechanism wrinkles like i am charlize theron like i don't understand why brands are not coming at me with my shitty social media following and like my b level fame like and so fine but then out of the blue one day i just got a call hey what do you what do you think of fabletics i was like i love fabletics yeah kate hudson vip member you know why because there's a

high-waisted legging and everyone knows that when you're 30s you need something to suck in that a below belly button above vagina gunk yeah no mid-waist i'm 25 and i have it too but a highway when you go in if anyone makes a waistband that is less than five inches i'm not buying do you know where my underwear is right now like up your ass right here i'm wearing a full body shapewear right now skims sweating skims yeah right no i love your skims videos thank you i'm wearing the full top to bottom. Did you feel like you made it when Kim reposted you? Did she send it to you?

She sent us skims and then Kim reposted my series of stories twice. It was like 90 seconds of content. Like eight frames, me dancing in my skims. Did you get a lot of followers after that? I did. I got a lot of followers. And they were pretty real followers too, not just people like, show me your feet. Anyways, these are my skims.

These are my breasts. You have amazing boobs. Huge boobs. No, it's out of control. It's not a good thing. They are, but like, we're just so short and it's just not proportionate and it's a struggle. Yeah. And it's always just like, I'm out to dinner. Like even right now, like my breasts are being served for an entree.

Like, look, I'm always like spilling my breasts. Do you like, like let them rest on the table? I've never done that. It's not that I let them rest. They literally look for a place to relax on the table. They're like, and if we're taking a picture, like at a restaurant, it's like, my tits are always in the middle of the table. It's the worst.

Just smushed. Would you ever get a breast reduction? Yes. You guys are crushing it. It's time. I saw this sold-out show at the Ace. Yes, yes. It's not a financial thing at this point.

It's more so the time. Yeah. You don't have time to recover. No. It's going to be maybe like a post-breastfeeding kind of thing. Yeah. I often think... You could do a hospital...

Like a hospital week of toast. Yeah. I love that. Toast. The toast scrubbing in podcast. But if we ever want to like low-key get plastic surgery, we can't because we have no recovery time. Yeah.

We do a show every day. Right. People would know. What about during the holidays? Because when I got my neck surgery last year, I low-key did it over the Christmas holidays. Oh, that's smart. Well, we still get Hanukkah. You do.

It's actually eight days. It's even better. Can you break out? Can you, like, put toast on the ice for that? We could. We do take a winter break. If any time, it would be then. Okay.

Good luck. Yeah. Thank you. Well, if you guys end up looking completely different in the beginning of next year, we'll know. Right, right, right. Secrets out. Do you have a good week or a bad week you'd like to share?

Oh, I have both. And I guess even though we're in L.A. and I'm so excited to be here, like I'm just loving this town, I guess it is a bad week because I got some sort of food poisoning, alcohol poisoning when we went out on Saturday night after we landed in L.A. And on Sunday, we went to Ciccone's. And then we went to Soho House. And then we went to Soho House. And at some point in the night, I was poisoned in some way because I spent all of Sunday throwing up, dry heaving, could not keep anything down. I had to get an IV. I couldn't go to a show because of it.

I had all these like plans. I had to cancel everything. yesterday i was feeling better i'm still not a hundred percent like even drinking water feels weird something i don't know maybe i was just too excited to be here and they were like you overexcited just calm down like it's not that great of a city yeah like this is the level la is not worth this energy right now right okay but i do have a good week okay because yesterday we went to dancing with the stars oh yeah and we were on tv which i know isn't a big deal for you guys but for us it's huge yeah and we were being so thirsty like every time we saw the actresses

we were like oh my god did you guys end up being on tv yes okay well my friend lauren elaine is on the show and so they show like lauren's friends and family and like we were there thirsting out like i can't believe i didn't see i was backstage because i covered so i saw your instagram story after we had already left yes i would have texted you because lauren was like i have to go to press like i'll meet you after it was me yeah but i watched the whole show and i guess you missed him i was wearing a very sparkly blouse i don't know how you miss me no but also a lot of times when i watch the dances and then i go down to my notes yeah when they're doing the talking part so if they were doing the talking it was during the talking part i'm so proud of you guys what did

you guys think it's a fabulous show to see it's a real glamorous show it's exactly like you see on tv but even better in the ballroom usually tv sucks in real life like our show behind the scenes it was like we're we literally were taking like two dollar chuck and putting like a lady gang label on it for our wine like it was terrible but like dancing with the stars is as fabulous in person people there are so excited to be in the studio like they can't stop clapping they They can't stop getting out. They can't stop dancing. And, like, Len's like, I think.

And you're like, boo! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, instantly. It's like, it's a football game. You can't even smoke it yet. I love it so much. Would you ever do it? It's like a football game.

You would be fucking incredible. We were talking about that yesterday. You would be so good. I would pull a Chrissy Brinkley and, like, fake get injured right before. No, I'm kidding. I know she got injured. Like, I don't want her coming for us. And then I would sub Jackie in because she's an excellent dancer.

And I just don't think I could do, like, four hours a day of working out. Like, I haven't worked out in, like, five years. And that's my career goal is dancing with. I know. I dream big. Me too. Wait, I feel like you could do it in a heartbeat. I've tried for six years.

Really? They say no for six seasons. They say no every season. That's shocking. Oh, so I stand no chance. No, no, no. I do actually think you, collectively, one of you, both of you, could have a chance, and I'll tell you why.

They don't want me because I work for a network that's a competing network to ABC. We're independent. You don't have a network affiliation, yet you have the young fans that they are after. We always have, yeah, like the young, Indian loser. But there's not that this year. Do you guys know the people? Wait, isn't that Lorna Lena? No, we don't know anyone.

I'm going to hook you up with the casting woman. Oh, my God. Hook it up. You can make dreams come true. And then you'll only do exclusives with me. 100%. I'll give you scoops. And then we'll come for Trio Week.

Yeah. And we'll be on the sides like, uh, yeah, yeah. And then you can do the toast song. Of course. Of course. I would perform it, obviously. Obviously. And I would be in the back in, like, a great outfit just with my great 40s body.

Yeah. We would do, like, an acoustic, like, slow down, like, samba. I'd have a skirt, and then I'd rip it off, and then it would turn into, like, a... Colors of the world. Spice up your life. Yes. Let's get loud. Let's get loud.

Let's get loud. Jack hates to dance and sing, so she's not invited. I'm getting secondhand embarrassment already. Okay. Do you have a good week, bad week? Yeah. What's it better? Should you do good week or bad week first?

You should start with... I usually start with good, because bad's usually the worst. Yeah, the more interesting one. So I had a great week for lots of reasons, because, you know, we're all very grateful, except last night, like, I peaked in my fame. Like, I'm very vain, and I'm very shallow, and, you know, I care about things that, like, I shouldn't care about, but I do, and it's who I am. And we went to dinner last night after Dancing with the Stars.

We went to Craig's. Oh, you went to Craig's to get paparazzi'd? On our way out. Duh. We got motherfucking paparazzi'd, and we were shook, because, like, when we got out of the car to walk in, like, these paparazzi, like, they were picking their nose. No, they, like, looked to see what it was, and they were like, nah. And then they looked back down to their phones.

Like, no, I hate that. Not worth it. And so then, when we were leaving, we were like, okay, so none of us were wearing lipstick. Margo's hair was in a bun. Like, I looked pregnant. Like, it's not going to happen. My shirt was unbuttoned in the back. Like, I was just not.

You had your chance. And then, all of a sudden. Post mail. I can't see. I'm like, and it's not like they did what? It was like, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash. And I was like, what's going on? And I was so confused.

The pictures, I have, like, mugs. Wait, show me the fucking scene. We can't find them. We can't find them. Wait, I can find them. Wait, so did you... Good luck. I looked everywhere.

Did they know who you were? Unclear. Okay. We don't know why or how. Because maybe that's why. It's because they put it under somebody else's name. We were dressed, though, for Dancing with the Stars. They say you have to dress glamorously, so our outfits definitely contributed.

We looked like stars. We act like we're stars. Yeah. And we think we're stars, so are we stars? We might be, but it was so crazy. We were dancing with the stars. We were dancing alongside the stars. To the side, down the hall.

Yes, last night. I'm telling you, I've been on this all morning. Well, have you asked an actual person with the links to the paparazzi? We just asked Lexi to find them for us. Okay, because I'm just going to, like, email the CBS, where the celebrities are, and say, did we see any pics of them outside? And then you're going to run on Entertainment Tonight, you think? I can't promise that, but we can find the photos. If they exist, she'll find them.

Oh, my God, amazing. My bad week is one that, like, happens to me all the time, so it shouldn't be, like, a special event, but I ordered Revolve, like, a package to the hotel because I was, like, so nervous. Like, we had so many things to do. We were changing, like, two, three times a day, and I just knew that I wouldn't have enough, so I had, I love to, like, send things to the place that I'm going. Like, I'm always ordering close to my hotel, and I ordered it today.

I probably got ten items, and nine of them didn't fit. Like, not single, one single one, and I felt like I had such low self-esteem, and Revolve was, like, always making me feel bad about myself, but, like, this was truly the pinnacle of my insecurity. Yeah. Well, you got one thing that looks better. The sweater. I did got the sweater.

Oh, that's cute, though. The sweater looks great. Yeah. Shout out to free people for being accurate with their sizing. Well, here's my thing at this point. Like, do you think that you should be purchasing things online from Revolve? Here's the thing. I tried so hard not to because, like, I think Revolve stands for so many negative, like...

Oh, I love Revolve. I suppose getting it for free. Well, like, just call Jenny Rodriguez or a stylist or something and have them ready to go at something. oh yeah they once like reached out to us with some respect like we'll like give you some free clothes if you want to post and it was like three posts for a 500 credit yeah another coachella thing what happened oh that was nuts that they were doing like their coachella giveaway so they reached out to micro influencers like myself and they were like if you want to work with revolve like we'll give you a 1500 credit and you have to post 11 times 14 oh yeah i got that one too

oh my god so it's it's nuts and like we don't like that's just not how we live our lives so it doesn't make sense like physically and at a certain point it's just like we should just buy it wear it when we want yeah and move on i feel like you you all need a clothing line yeah it's definitely something that's next that's okay yeah well that's becoming more and more clear yeah i love it we went shopping the other day and it was you're like sad an atrocity well everything's i'll tell you something it's it's not made for the working woman i'll tell you that right now because everything is sheer jack vanik knows because she works wherever she wants so her nipples can be out yeah but i have real jobs and real bosses and i can't be wearing things that are sheer

or so v-neck like everything is i don't like everything is the bodysuit titties it's down to my navel can i get a black v-neck bodysuit that is work appropriate you know i just got one oh no it's not v-neck it's turtleneck yeah i can get oh i like that yeah all right well when we come back we're going to do a specially toasty toasty allegedly what's happening episode Toasty, toasty. Now back to the Lady Gang. We're back. Okay, so allegedly what's a happening is something we coined when we learned that you have to say allegedly before you gossip about.

We've seen the show. We learned that lesson in a very hard way. Did you guys get sued? No, we were, our show was on Verizon, and we were just out here talking spit and truth about Dan Schneider. And we got our asses, we had to stand through like this two-hour compliance video with HR. It was torture. Yeah. Okay.

So, allegedly, what's happening is where we talk about other people. First, I wanted to go through Us Weekly and just see if there's any celebrities that we should talk about. Are you in Us Weekly? Let's just... That's when you know. She keeps every magazine. She's a post-it.

Oh, my God. I'm shocked. Are you going to frame it? You and Robin Thicke. Great dress. Thank you. I have a scrapbook where I keep all of the covers and my things. Clippings.

Because I like to see what was happening in pop culture that time. I'm going to show it to like, I'm not going to have children, but like. You can show it to somebody else's kids. I mean, at some point, here's the thing. When I was a professional dancer in New York, I did not keep anything. Radio City Rockette could have kept a pair of cheeks, could have kept like a shoe, could have had photos of myself at all in a Rockette costume. But because it was before iPhones, I don't have a single photo. I don't have any mementos.

And so now in this second stage of my life, I'm keeping everything. I keep a lock of Jack's pubic hair on my bedside table. Okay. So let's talk about things. Number one, Felicity Huffman. Going to jail? She went to jail today. Today.

14 days. Yeah. Yeah. She turned herself in early. Good. Get it over with. Wait, what happens if you go early? You get out like 14 days later.

Oh, okay. Well, like she had, she was supposed to be there at like 930 and she came at eight. Oh, that's early? Oh, not like a day before? No. She's getting out an hour and a half early. Maybe that's that good behavior. Yeah.

You can, like, on good behavior, you can serve 80% of your sentence. I don't know what 80% of 14 is, but I guess that's what she's 11 or 13. She's going to be out in 10 days. I also love that she's at the federal prison that they have dubbed Club Fed. Yes. And it's like, there's a sunbathing area. Yeah. She'll probably have a good time.

She might not want to get out early. I literally pay $10,000 every year to go to the Golden Door, which sounds exactly like this. This sounds like a spa. No one can bother you. Turn your cell phone off. You're going to do some hiking. it really is like a golden door you should just commit a crime yeah on the taxpayer's dime i know how long do you think that the other one lachlan will go in yeah this doesn't it's not boding well

for her and she is not like she's pleading not guilty like at least felicity was like yeah i did it she apologized she's taking her crime like she's going through trial she's claiming laurie lachlan's claiming that she still didn't do it so um if she's found guilty uh it ain't gonna be good I don't know. I think she might find a loophole. Like, if Kevin Spacey could get off, Lori Loughlin stands a chance. That's true. OJ, Lori Loughlin.

I guess my other thing that I have still yet to understand about this whole thing is that a lot of these super rich celebrities and just rich people in general make giant donations to colleges. Like, if you want your kid to go to Yale, you're like, I'm going to build a library at Yale. That's what's so silly about it. Why do this? What they're guilty of is something you can do legally. That's like buying pot on the street or just in a dispensary. But I think it's not guaranteed if you build a library. Your kid could still get rejected.

You're just giving them an edge. And it's also so much more expensive than the half a million dollars she spent. Like Dr. Dre donated $70 million to USC. He donated a whole school. Yeah, like a whole school of music. And then his kids went there. Right. Fine.

yeah i just say as someone who never went to college like you don't have to go to college everyone if you're dumb there's other things that will get you through life as someone who did go to college you don't have to go to college you do not have to go to college especially the worst time of my life like oh what a waste especially these days like you definitely don't need to go to college you're gonna be a lawyer or a doctor it's like there used to be a stigma if you didn't go to college now i feel like there's a stigma if you did yeah It's like, ha, broke ass, paying off student loan for a few years. Wasting your time.

Like, you're an idiot. Right. Like, Alex, did you go to college? You did. Of course she did. But honestly, I would have hired Alex based on her ability to show 15 minutes early to everything, no matter what. She could be like, honestly, I'm going to start telling people I went to Yale.

Yeah. You are? You should. Well, what school? You can't pronounce anything. I went to NYU in Canada. Oh, my God, so did I. What grade were you?

Oh, I went to NYU. It was great. Me and that guy. What's the actor's name who went and, like, studied film? James Franco? Yeah, James Franco. I was in James' class. Oh, Callie farted.

Smell it. Don't waft in my way. Yeah, why are you wafting it? Jackie's really not going to love Callie. Okay, next. Did you see the Panera video of the Mac? I did. That girl got fired.

Wait, what? I didn't see this? I didn't see the video. I love Panera. On TikTok, this girl who works at Panera was like, everyone's always raving about the Panera mac and cheese. She was like, this is actually how we make it. And she takes this, like, frozen brick and puts it, it's, like, wrapped in plastic, drops

it in, like, a boiler, like, that you make french fries in, takes it out, and then puts it in a bowl. And the thing went viral on TikTok, and then she tweeted and was like, LOL, I got fired for this. And then that went viral again. Shit. Yeah. Big mistake.

I mean, what do they fucking expect? Like, how do you think it's made? Also, like, do I care? It's good. I know. I'm still gonna fucking eat it. Do you ever see how they make McDonald's chicken nuggets? It's basically just glort mold.

Chicken nuggets are a different thing. It's like they take the asshole of a chicken and like- Squish it up. Yeah, and it's so disgusting, but it's so delicious. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Well, they also said that they do it to avoid using certain preservatives, because Panera is like preservative- It's organic.

Yeah. It's organic. So like, they probably flash freeze. Honestly, I think Panera is missing out. They should start selling those frozen mac and cheeses. I would put some in my freezer, and it's like boiling a bag of rice. Yeah. That's a great idea.

If this girl ends up making that happen, then they need to give her some f***ing money or at least her job back. This feels like undercover boss, you know? Yes. Meet Shark Tank. What we want is we want a line of Panera that we can make at home. Yeah, in the grocery store. Pizza Hut has it.

I would die for their broccoli cheddar soup. The best. Also comes in a bag. Freeze that shit up. I want that frozen. Yeah. Madonna's dating a 25-year-old. Holy shit.

A Malik Williams, a 25-year-old dancer and choreographer. And we know why. Because he's a dancer. Dancers are the best f***ing lays. Oh, are you talking about yourself? No. Well, I'm terribly lazy because I've been together with my husband for ten years. Male dancers are apparently the best sex.

Oh, I would not know. Male dancers are a sexual... Casper. Casper. You think that he wasn't... J-Lo was not staying with him for the face. No, no, no. Or the personality.

Or the hairline. I went to high school with Casper. You did? And I sadly didn't even know who the f*** he was. Of course, yeah. Because you were popular. And I was like, oh, so close. It's always the quiet ones.

I know. I know. Ben, my husband, went to camp with Ben Platt. And I, like, every night before bed, I, like, smack him in the face for not becoming best friends with Ben Platt. Like, didn't you know? No, I'm like, how dare you? I almost got killed with Ben Platt. How?

At Ahura. A deadly, huge wedding. So Ben's older brother, Jonah, married one of my best friends, Courtney, and had a Mindy Weiss-planned celebrity, even though neither of them are celebrities, wedding at the Malibu where the giraffe is, whatever that place is. safari thing whatever it is yeah and they had a horror and i was like this seems dangerous there was 400 people in this tent and it was like i got crushed to death yeah yeah i saw ben at the grammys the next year and i was like ben do you remember when i almost got crushed to death with you at the horror and he was like yes that was very dangerous dangerous being a jew for a lot of you know what i mean and then they put them up on the chairs oh my god at my wedding i almost

died like and everything's wrong yeah how have they not can you come out of a line with a safe or a chair for the bride. Can you not get a strap-aids belt? Yeah, like you have an armless chair, you're flopping around. Are they always armless? In satin. Like think of the chairs that are at weddings.

Right, like a fold-up. That are at the table, yeah. Or it's like, so they never have arms and everyone, like all the guys, they're drunk and they think they're so brave. I'm so strong. And there's always one on one corner that isn't pulling his weight

and you're slipping, sliding off the fucking chair to your death in your most beautiful... I wonder if anybody's actually died that way. 100%. 1,000%. death i don't know i got concussed at my wedding though oh yeah but it wasn't a horror related injury it was a crowd surfing injury and they dropped me which was fine but then someone else fell on my head it was awful i had to stop drinking that's a tragedy forever no just for

the night because you didn't know what would happen oh my god that is a tragedy um all right hayley bieber my favorite topic is concerned about justin's spending wrote radar online reports that hayley loves how generous and impulsive justin is but she's worried that he's spending all his money it's so funny like these are their problems now that they're married you know very normal it's always the same before you marry you have to have the money conversation yeah i'm very frugal are you like for other people like for myself like no expense is too great for ben it's like you're judging ben it's like do you really need this underwear i don't think so like i need like another pair of shoes with diamonds on them yeah like do you need that

shirt even though yours is ripping it's like my job is like i'm on camera like i have to be glamorous but like ben no one no one's looking i agree yeah who cares no it's like it's a lifestyle thing you know yeah but also radar online's been getting it right a lot recently so i'm gonna go ahead and believe this actually i agree with you jackie and i also think like there's where there's smoke like most of the time there's fire and i just feel like they're probably arguing on what he's spending his money on right now the fact that he's spending right it's his money let him spend it also he has like endless money yeah right that's not true it's not true no because there is a level okay so all the people that have like the yachts and their own plane they're always like

planing and yachting around the people like the biebers of the world that are the upper echelon of hollywood money got it but hollywood money is nothing compared to like i invented ketchup money yeah and like amazon jeff bezos money yeah you know what i mean and so a lot of times like i just know well i don't know anything but like i would assume that there's like always like a private jet going but then it's like it's not it's not leo's yacht that he's on he's just like he's hanging on someone's billionaire a bazillion because i remember our friend alex alex delion has that friend who's like the prince of dubai or whatever and like got him a saint laurent jacket just like as a high welcome to dubai gift and it was fourteen thousand dollars

As someone who actually has been on a yacht with Leo, I can tell you it was chartered. It was not his. Can you talk about when you're on a yacht with Leo? Yeah, you know, it was very low-key. I was thinking more as, like, an Ibiza moment. Like, I brought a bottle of champagne, like, ready to pop that shit. And, you know, he's very low-key and really cares about the ocean. Wait, did you?

Wait, is this real? Yeah, this is real. Did you get invited to go buy Leo? Not buy Leo. Like, a Leo adjacent. Okay. Friend of a friend. Yeah, honestly, they were like, why is this girl on the boat?

And I was like, I'm just happy to be here. And it was very low-key. really was not what i was expecting and it was very um i don't want to say boring but boring and then on the on the dinghy that like takes you to the yacht on the way back we got stuck in like some sort of monsoon it was so so scary like the front of the boat was going down on this wave could you imagine dying and you're like is there gonna be room on the door you guys i made a joke and he laughed the boat is rocking and all of a sudden i'm like my heart will go on and he laughed and then i sang i sang like a little too long no literally there's four people with me who is she

and i don't know why i've never been invited back but it's rude yeah did leo actually like introduce himself to you no okay did he say leonardo no but we like sat at the same table you know right and i met his parents who were super nice and like honestly i had a great time with them i don't then also i don't know where to go from there we anchored the yacht this is a better story than in like 287 episodes of lady and we've never had such a good story in our life like kind of close to the shore and everyone's like jumping off and they're gonna swim to the beach and like i knew that it like looked kind of far and i was like honestly i'm just like not in shape for this but like i'm not one to like not not go with leo yeah and so we all jumped off

and we grossly underestimated how far we are like in an ocean like you can't really see like i it was probably over a mile and we're like halfway and i'm dying like i'm so out of shape like for a regular person and everyone around me was like you know like la like athletes and i'm like literally about to drown and i start signaling over to the yacht and i'm like someone please come get me oh and so one of the staff members um came on a paddleboard and picked me up and drove me to the rest of the way no yeah do you get embarrassed like is this an embarrassing thing or you don't give no everyone thought i was actually like everyone was also dying but like i was on another level and i um i think everyone was like really impressed by my like ingenuity you know you come

up looking smart yeah no it was very much like a smart moment you're like having a drink on the beach by the time that they all get there it was one of the hardest days of my life and it was supposed to be like this best day and then like by the time but two hours later by the time we got back on the yacht like it was really bad like i was winded i had like done my hair and makeup up like before and i was just like a mess and i'd like leo had saw me in a bathing suit and i was like i really think it's time like i go back to the u.s like it was not it was not for me was leo vaping in a hoodie on the boat was he with like a 21 every time i see him he's always like he's either like a movie star leo like on the red carpet charming or like trash you just interviewed

him right for once upon a time in hollywood yes and i i've and he's always so lovely and like such a nice guy but then i'll be at dinners or whatever uh like and see him at craigs he's always at craigs and like just missed him he'll be in like a hoodie like he's one of those those hats right i saw him at a comedy show and someone's like leonard cabrio's here i'm like is he behind the guy in the hat is he behind the ugly guy like i don't but anyway i saw him at a funeral once and he had the hoodie up and i thought that was like he had a hoodie on at a funeral it was a celebration of life you're listening to the lady gang um next topic kim kardashian oh um kanye west said he didn't

like her met gala dress last year and he doesn't like it when she dresses too sexy that's weird he's gonna have a problem yeah here he's already said the corset underwear all of that vibe i just feel like i went through this transition where from being a rapper like looking at all these girls and looking at my wife like oh my girl needs to be just like other girls showing her body off showing this showing that and i didn't realize that it was affecting like my soul and my spirit as someone that's married and loved and a father of like now what is about to be four kids of course it is a form of underwear it's hot it's like hot for who though by the way i kind of respect that like i don't think any man should be telling a woman what to wear but like i get what

he's saying it's like i used to be a rapper and objectify women and now i actually like someone So, like, I don't want everyone else to be objectifying her, you know? But he does know who he married. Of course. Of course. But people change. Kanye's changing. But it's also, like, fashion.

They're so fashion-y. So what is she supposed to wear, you know? That's true. Like, this is what Mugler saw for her. Who was she to say? It wasn't her choice. Right. It was a Mugler moment.

It was a moment. I, actually, the dress was. This is the drippy dress, right? Yeah, with the crystal. It was wildly unimpressive in person. Oh, tell us about it. No. Tell us.

well so the met is like it's it's it's big right like the the dresses are oversized i loved your dress by the way i think it was big but people come and they always have more it's more is more thank you jack and the theme was camp so like even more it's more more more and it was just big and bright and colorful and like a lot of the people that come to the met happen to be in the fashion world so they're like all nine feet tall and so they're like there is giselle like whatever and then kim came and i remember looking down at her and she arrives like kind of later because everyone gets like a time slot so it's like least well anna and then the co-chairs come first so it's like lady gaga and anna and then like some models and designers and unfamous people and then like as the

night goes on it's like a big dick sword fight of like who's gonna show up after each other like who's nikki minaj or cardi b like who comes later and then rihanna and then beyonce and like beyonce has to be last so she's like sitting in her truck being like tick tock rihanna you know like it's like yeah it's like a whole thing so anyway she came and i was like why is she wearing like a Herve Leger, like, mini, from my stance, far away. It wasn't until she walked right past that I actually could see the crystals. They showed up beautifully on film and in the pictures. The pictures, it looked beautiful.

But in IRL, I was like... Bandage dress. I mean, that's what it looked like from far away. Could get it from Forever 21, yeah. Well, I mean, you couldn't. But, like, that's what it looked like from far away. It was just, like, it was just Kim looking wet and hot and tiny. Yeah.

Like, it would have been funnier if Kim had, like, come in, like, real camp. clown yeah like jojo siwa you know what i mean like it was still so sexual so i understand what kanye is saying yeah i do understand he's entitled to his opinion you know yeah um okay next one we have two more millennials are bringing back the mustache yes i love it i saw this story and i was like so eddie murphy's got a mustache right now Who's not? Eddie Murphy is not a millennial. Paul Rudd.

Paul Rudd is also not a millennial. Yeah, that's so true. Well, where's the story from? I don't know. I made it up. BuzzFeed. Anyway, but mustache is back. Like, I see a lot of dudes wearing a mustache.

It's very hipster, like. Yeah. Justash? The Justash. Justin Bieber's mustache. Oh, yeah. My husband, Ben, grew a mustache. He drew a whole beard.

A whole beard. And it was, like, really, it changed him in a very negative way. Oh, negative way? I've never been so mad at him for, like, such a long period of time. Because I kept telling him to get rid of it. Like, it was making me itchy. Like, I just didn't like it. And it was also butt ugly.

Like, it's very simple. And he wouldn't listen to me. It took him, like, he was going to grow it out for a week, just, like, see if he could do it. And he went on almost a month. And it was really a difficult time for our marriage. And he didn't look better. Usually men look better with some facial hair.

No, it was stubbly. He has a baby face. And he actually has great skin. So, like, why are you covering it up? Yeah, I feel that. I don't like a mustache. Me neither. Mustaches are fucking disgusting.

Disgusting. Do you look good on Kurt Reynolds? Do you wax your lip? And Tom Selleck. And Tom Selleck. Same vibe, though. I wax my lip. I don't.

Please tell me someone else does. I shave my lip. That's worse. She also suctions out her lip. No, I shave my face once a week. Like Marilyn Monroe. Yeah. Thank you.

Wait, no. Marilyn Monroe didn't. Yes, she did. She had the peach fuzz. Wasn't that her thing? I thought that she shaved her face and then used Vaseline. Oh. Ew.

I shave my face every week. And sometimes, I was like, just the other day, I was like, oh my god. and I could like lick my and I was like ooh the stubble and I was like do I have stubble and then I looked and I was like I do

what kind of razor just like a pharmacy like a tinkle yeah like the Japanese yeah the face razors not like a Bic right right

I have gone desperate Bic styles before you have not Bic but like leg razor it's the same thing leg razor like three blades or one

sure four oh my god just be careful about your eyebrows the one blade if you're staying in a hotel they'll give you one

it's like a one maybe two blade Like, you got to go over it, like, nine times. Yeah, so I'm just saying, you have to be careful. Okay, I really want to get your take on this, ladies. Okay. Miley and Cody, Liam and Madison Brown. Okay.

Liam and Madison Brown, we've never been so here for anything in the whole, like, we love Dynasty. We love Dynasty. We want happiness for him. We love Kirby. Because, like, she's been out here doing her thing, and they're both Australian, and, like, I'm just so happy for them and their newfound love. Me too.

And I am happy for Miley and Cody. I personally, like, shipped Miley and Caitlyn, and that, like, I didn't even have time to process that. Right. Before. It's already over. what happened with that it just they didn't say anything yeah it was like my bones and gone and we're happy for miley we want her to be happy but like it's a lot now yeah

with the social media i wonder what the thing is with all the social media posting like that is that just like a new like rebellious thing because you're just friends and she's trying to with everyone no no and like now his mom and her mom are like commenting on each other's instagrams like it's like it's really like serious also cody simpson's so random oh by the way like he is so not famous and like he's been around forever and it's like we're like oh cody simpson's gonna take off finally finally and he'll literally never be famous yeah it's like this today is the most famous yeah yeah he's it's his 15 minutes well was he disney kid too he was like he was the backup he was the jc shazay of justin bieber yeah yeah if it justin timberlake to just jc shazay it was

like if justin bieber died cody would have had like a hole to fill but just but he lived and It's like, if you're dating Gigi Hadid, like, couldn't do it for him, like, he has no chance of really ever being famous. I remember being on a video shoot with Cody Simpson for his music video, and Gigi was there. Surfboard? Surfboard. And she loved to talk to the press.

Teaching? She was just like, do you want to, they came over, they're like, do you want to interview Gigi about being in her boyfriend's music video? We're like, no. We're like, who? And then we're like, okay. And then, like, she was like, I'm just so excited. She was like, and then she's never talked to the press again.

Yeah, literally. That one interview. I have something I'd like to say about Miley and Cody. You guys, girls out there dating, you don't have to jump in the way these celebrities are. Like, Tyler C. being a Gigi Hadid's grandmother's funeral. In the Netherlands. Not even in this country. Like, two months after they started dating.

It is not funeral appropriate. Unless it's over a year. Or unless they're going to get married, but they're not because they're not even together right now. so if they'd stay together forever i would have been like oh that was cute when they knew so early on and he went to the funeral right now her mother her mother's or her grandma's but that's how i feel about my wedding like if i didn't invite anyone to my wedding who i didn't think i was gonna be friends with like in the next year or two years and there's maybe like one or two people who i definitely like misjudged because i'm not friends with them anymore actually

just one person you know i'm talking about um and that's what i feel like don't bring anyone to my funeral like unless they're a lifelong friend you know right yeah and i just think it's like with cody and miley like she's in the hospital or whatever and then like cody's coming to visit her in the hospital like that's not a place for the guy that you've been seeing for two weeks to come lay with you and his bring his germs into your hospital you need to focus on your health and you'll see him later yeah like girls we don't have to move at this speed i totally agree too fast still young and i made that mistake 5 000 times it's a whirlwind in and then it's a whirlwind out and then you don't know what the fuck happened but you just have to do it yeah

okay well miley i'm thinking about you your body looks incredible yeah she does look amazing um all right thank you for being here oh my god so much claudia please follow at girl with no job at jackie o problems and the morning toast and it airs live weekdays at 10 30 a.m eastern on youtube it is fabulous but you can also check it out and if you go on the top 200 um itune or podcast at itunes morning toast is consistently you are obsessed with the lady gang i love that i look at them every morning i only look at our vertical i never look at overall because i never what vertical are you guys in what is this society and culture and we're comedy comedy oh but on the overall episodes you guys are very happy are we i never have the bravery to like go

over to the old category it actually makes me so happy because you know like well we talk about this all the time like living in la and living in hollywood there's always a party that we're not invited to oh my god that's us this week every night we're getting dressed we're like where's the movie premiere someone anyone anybody home no we never gonna everyone's like oh my god it was like this woman's in l woman in hollywood i'm right here and like never invited and it always hurts my feelings it hurts becca's feelings the most i think she's very sensitive because she was kind of in that world and that has like right i don't give a okay and i love that like through the podcast we've made like pod friends like you guys are pod friends caitlin bristow's our pod

friends like stassi like scrubbing it and so when i go on the charts and i see other shows even though they are like shows that are competing against us i don't ever look at as a competition i'm always like yes like goodbye dax shepherd who was already famous oh my god it's so unfair and did you see um conan on the cover of variety with a podcast microphone being like the leader of the new medium podcasting i didn't know he had a podcast there should be like two separate charts one for famous people it's not fair to like compare like our shit that we're doing that we built from the ground up to a bunch of famous people like dolly parton's america yes you better have gazillions of listeners we should throw a party

like for podcasters we should really so i have this idea i just think that we're going to start our own award show so are we the toasties the toasties oh we were gonna call ours the ladies Oh, you know what? That sounds better. The problem is, who would host? We're all like... We're like, so there's two people in the competition. If the Revolve Awards are doing it, we can do it.

It'll be like the Hunger Games. Like, we'll have all of our favorite podcasts host, and like, every, like, social media will vote one out at every commercial break, and then by the end, it'll just be you. Oh, my God. That's a great idea. And you'll be second. I'll be voted off first. I'm surprised that there is not that award show already.

Well, they have the awards, but they charge you $7,500 to enter. what yes ready i got an email like we want this was years ago we want you to be nominated for a webby i'm like okay and they're like just come in here and click your category so i click my category and they're like you could choose as many so i'm like i'm humor but i'm also like pretty so i'm like i'm beauty i'm also influential i'm also like pop culture and i didn't realize like per category you get charged yeah i got and i just accidentally pressed click no twenty five hundred dollars and i had to call my credit card i'm like yeah i accidentally did this whole thing like yeah and i got a refund but it was so crazy like the fact you have to pay for it like look

at we did in 2018 i got really excited about it the $750 piece of paper right there wait what i don't know about that yeah but you didn't win was there a ceremony we didn't even win oh just an honoree what even happens if you win you get a trophy i think you get to go to the ceremony we weren't even invited to go to ceremony and then they wrote me the next year and they're like do you want to enter again oh my god no i get the email every year and now i yeah and now it's like if you've ever like if your accolades you're always up bragging about your webby i'm like you had to pay for that that's like forbes 30 under 30 it's like wow they recognize you it's like not because you had to apply you had to pitch yourself yeah oh that's gross yeah some of us are

busy working that's what i say we're busy building our empire i don't have time to go to your l women in hollywood party l because i'm being a woman and hiring 10 plus women and 25 more on my television show and making the world go round and supporting the system yeah you guys really should have been there 100 well no now we're definitely not right not after that rant um but okay we love the morning toast i can't wait for the ladies toasties the lady toasties it's gonna be great it's gonna be great the scrubbing in scrubbing some toast off the vine with the ladies can we host it on the lot here you think where we have low budget for this event we the only room we're allowed to technically use on the line and by the way we're sitting in a five by eight room right now so yes

We'll make it work. We can host the first annual ladies in my office at CBS. Excellent. I wonder if we could fit Tanya, Becca, and Caitlin in here. I think we can. I think that we can. I think we can. Somebody's going to have to sit on somebody's lap.

That's fine. That's fine. Callie can sit on your lap. That'd be great, Jackie. Okay, tune in to The Toast, and thank you guys for being here. Enjoy the rest of Toast LA, and Becca, we missed you. We missed you. Mildly.

Okay, say it with me, Jack. One, two, three. See you next Tuesday. thanks for listening and make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast we have new episodes of lady gang every tuesday and thursday follow us on social media at the lady gang uh follow us personally at kelty most importantly at becca and at jack bannock and we will see you next tuesday