LadyGang - FLASHBACK FRIDAY: Darren Criss
Episode Date: February 10, 2023Darren Criss remembers the first time he met Becca Tobin on the set of "Glee," and shares exactly what he thought of her! He also has decided feelings about social media, a very cool "ish" mo...ment, a celebrity couple he misses most, and a mirror message! Plus, he's helping the LadyGang answer all your problems about dating, love, and real-life issues! Original Air Date: March 29, 2016See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey, Lady Gang, welcome to Flashback Friday, where we bring some of our favorite Lady Gang
episodes from the vault to you in the feed. We have over 600 episodes of this podcast,
and whether you're an OG and you've heard this episode before, or you're a new listener and
we're just bringing this up and you had no idea we had this person on our podcast, well, you're
welcome. Small caveat here, we are an imperfect group of trio of ladies, and we've been podcasting
for almost six and a half years. If something we said in this podcast doesn't align with Lady Gang
2020, please give us grace. For instance, there was a period on Lady Gang where I was not into
Taylor Swift. It was the reputation era. I wasn't feeling what she was begging, but now I'm like a
Swiftie again. And so I just don't want you to hold me to that because we're all growing and
learning and our opinions change pretty much every day. Without further ado, welcome to Flashback
Friday. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady
gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl
posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek yeah you do welcome to the lady gang podcast
jack vanek cultural it girl and clothing designer becca tobin broadway star actress and fashion
blogger extraordinaire and me just a little television personality on that national television
show we've never gotten i know because people don't know who we are even and i thought it would
be fun i saw rude i saw other i saw other podcasts introduce their people like that and i thought i'd
try it out this week what did you think how did it feel i felt kind of stupid okay it sounded stupid
um all right so thank you for joining us make sure you subscribe on itunes and leave us a five
star review and a nice review um you can also listen at podcastone.com or go to the podcast
one app also make sure to follow us on instagram and twitter at the lady gang and snap our feeds
are on point um you can also go to theladygang.com to find out sexy pictures of us and also subscribe
to our newsletter um because you get a nice little extra motivational glitter bomb in your
inbox on tuesday morning and a nice reminder that a new episode's out so with that note we have a
very special guest we've allowed a boy into the lady gang we're not going to tell you who but it
might be someone great i'm pretty sure it's in the title of this episode yeah if you clicked on
this episode you saw darren chris and all you little girls started squealing and getting wet
in your panties we're so excited but first it is time for good week yes it is bad week oh no okay
kelty oh here we go okay um so guys i don't know if you follow me on instagram but like 900 of you
liked my picture of me in africa doing the jack vanek pose with my husband wait that was my bad
week this is my good week the african safari sun pose and here's the thing we did the pose i have
so many photos of us doing the pose in different parts of africa and we just people what the pose
is it's like tall boyfriend and then you basically have him hold your butt while your legs are wrapped
around his and then you hold his face and kiss him and we call it the jack and so we'd be like
i'd look at chris in the safari i'd look at chris on the safari and i'd be like do you want to do a
jack and he's like let's do a jack and then we would do the pose anyway wait who took this photo
for you all the other people on the spot let's see okay this is it we take it i we have like a
little tripod and i do a timer thing even worse i need to make that picture perfect a tripod anyway
that's not even my good week bad week i was just saying that you guys know i was in africa last
week um and so on the last day of my trip i was trying to be a real good wifey and i was doing
sexy topless brunch on our patio in johannesburg of our like little boutique hotel so i had my
little panties on and i was like eating my strawberries topless i know it's not sexy i
always get this wrong anyway i was trying to be hot i was trying to be i actually want to make
sure we ask darren his opinion on topless eating when he uh joins the conversation it's so hard to
be quiet i know you cannot you can chime in yeah you can chime in what do you think first of all
why is why does jack get the monopoly on that position oh because who the hell is jack i
invented it you it's yours okay yeah so you suddenly you just did this to somebody and
said this shall forever be known as my she's constantly doing it well okay i'm gonna show
you a picture my boyfriend and i started they made this pose he's also already her background
on her that is the answer i was looking for you do it all the time that's fine but as for topless
eating it depends what you're eating thank you i was eating a sexy brunch so it was like
a little bit of orange juice a nice cup of tea some fruit are you sitting really daintily like
so i was chilling and then we would like go to the chase lounges and sit for a minute so anyway
about i was out there for like about an hour and a half and then i start feeling really red
and I thought oh my god the sun is so strong in Johannesburg so anyway we're gonna post to
Instagram the picture of my sunburn that I set the girls and I think Jack's reaction was holy bleep
I have the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life and it is so painful that I've been on
painkillers and I have gone through a tube and a half of aloe vera this is from someone who hasn't
been in the sun in 15 years so everyone was complaining about my face being too perfect
to me looking like i got all that work done well i ruined it now you aged about 10 years i'm magda
basically it's disgusting anyway that's good my good week i mean my bad week are you feeling is
it gross not yet um okay my good week is that guess what came in the mail guys what my neck
genie so i ordered it off amazon because i have a double chin and this is what happens when you
turn 34 and when i turn to the side when we're interviewing people on tv you can see my little
waddle and it's very upsetting and i'll probably get the kardashian doctor to liposuction me out
next year but anyway so you can get the neck genie i actually got the neck genie elite it was a dollar
more 8.99 can't see because it looks like something you'd buy from like the store yeah anyway so you
put it on your neck and you do like basically like push-ups with your chin darren's terrified
there are too many jokes that i'm sparing you up and um don't hold back anyway so i am going to be
doing 15 reps a day and i will let you know if it works the reviews on amazon are very positive
and they're probably all paid reviews i'm sure try jack you have to hold it you have to hold it
it makes okay go do five one two oh you look like it's terrifying like you know her little neck
brace and your back brace i'm excited to try it because it's way cheaper than liposuction okay
also you know that this because i have it too the little gobble it's like purely genetic yes it is
And my boyfriend informed me that my whole family has it.
All the women in my family.
Mine do too.
It's the women's side.
Yeah.
I can get that sucked up.
Just call it the gobble.
The gobble.
Yeah.
The little gobble.
Because it's like not, like our faces are not fat, but we have the little gobble.
I don't like it.
Anyways.
You guys?
Okay, so I'll go next because weirdly I screenshotted the picture of you doing the jack and I was
like, that just ruined my week because I really liked that you and I were bullying Jack.
about her stupid picture here's what i'm gonna say i'm actually about to make it very real for
you guys right now okay i think that social media is a very fine line of bragging or just
posting here's my life you know putting it out there sharing experiences i'm not saying this
is what you guys are doing however you absolutely are i am you know because i'm talking shit right
know i'm talking shit here's the thing i just think about when you were single and you were
like in one of those really sad it totally hurts other people's yeah it hurts your feelings and
you're kind of like f these guys like just flaunting their perfect relationships in my face
also go ahead i have a rebuttal against that because i totally agree also i my pictures are
pretty it's not like i'm just posting like nobody cares about the aesthetic quality except the fact
that your legs are wrapped around your hot tall boyfriend but hold on i'm trying to make that
why then do i chris really hates being on my social media and so it's very rare i've posted
like two times this year and both times he was like cuddle in the bed picture that was cute oh
yeah three times so but here's the thing it gets the most likes your picture got like a thousand
likes a thousand likes you guys know how many likes you get well i know how many she got because
i was obsessed that she did that oh my god you guys okay and it's like the girls who like oh
my god please don't be that girl that gets engaged and says the standard photo of getting
engaged and then your caption is of the ring my best tacky tacky and the caption being i get to
spend the rest of my life with my best friend don't ever use that it is the dumbest most played
out most obnoxious caption and the most annoying thing to say like i get to spend like what i hate
hate it i have to spend i have to exactly guess what sexless life coming up anyway that was like
my real tirade that was a tire jack picture sent me in a spiral also i'm sorry we're friends i i
my last rebuttal against that jack has more she wants to say continue i have so many people saying
that we're hashtag relationship goals and we got that we're like calvin and taylor bags oh my god
hashtag relationship goals they don't know your relationship i know but it's like on social media
you don't know if someone's relationship okay hold on hold on i dare you here's what's gonna
happen you're gonna do the jack no with your boyfriend you're gonna see the nice reaction
you get where is he you can see the nice reaction you get from all of your fans and friends that
follow you and how happy they are for you that you have love in your life and you might change
your mind yeah but i have a different backstory where people are actually happy to see me move
on and not be like a sad widow people are more happy for me i get yeah i'm bringing it down but
here's the thing i was in a situation at one point in my life where you know you're whether you're
going through a horrible horrible breakup or losing someone whatever it is it's like you have
to think about those people like out your friends your family like when you're posting those things
it's like is this boasting is this rubbing in people's faces and it's like bumper stickers like
my kid is an honor student at whatever school well the person behind you might have a kid
struggling with you know a mental disability so i've always been from the school of boasting and
bragging is it's a fine line but that's like the first time i think becca has actually cared about
other people in the podcast no but i also want to say i understand but it was cute when you had
matching bathing suits okay let's move on we took it too far it was just it wasn't my bad week for
any other reason that i was like i don't have anyone to make fun of jack with okay so my good
week is i'm sure we'll find something else i'm sure it's so easy i know um i went to see a
holistic doctor oh yeah i went to this woman named nancy sacks in west lake village and my uh she was
recommended to me by a few people and i was sort of like uh i don't know i feel i'm not not that
i'm not a believer because i definitely am open so i go and she puts these little things around
my wrists and my ankles and my forehead and it's basically like a magnetic pulse Scientology
Scientology um no like they they scan your whole entire body for viruses bacteria whatever whatever
and they can like tell you all these crazy things so she's like telling me all these things and I'm
like I still don't understand how you could know this from this machine but I'm gonna give it a
shot so I've been doing all these like drops under my tongue and like yeah pills wait what did she
tell you about yourself um I mean boring stuff stuff like nobody gives you're not dying I'm not
dying no no no um i hate to break it to you but we're all dying it's true we're all slowly dying
darren for the win there's a holistic medicine for you there you go continue um so so i've never
been the type of person that's like giddy and like dances around my house and like feels like
i'm ever in a good mood well weirdly i've been taking these drops for my sadness not like that
it's like deep not like i'm a sad sad it's like i was gonna say sadness drops sadness drops
Oh, shit.
I left my sadness drops at home.
Damn it.
Weirdly, I turned on the music in my house.
I was like doing stuff around the house.
And I started like dancing around my house by myself.
And I was like, why am I in such a good mood?
I'm not drunk.
I'm not like, nothing great just happened.
And I really, I think it's my sadness drops.
That's a lot of placebo effect.
I'm so happy for you.
But no, I didn't even remember that that's what it was.
I was like, this is odd.
Like, I'm happy.
I'm smiling.
I'm dancing.
I'm not even going to be paid to do it.
Like, it's weird.
So there you go.
It's a very foreign concept for you.
Can I try the sadness drops?
Do you have them?
No.
Damn it.
Too expensive to try.
I'm not sure.
Jack, your time.
I know a guy in the corner of a Santa Monica vining.
Does the guy have donut time?
I'm sure someone else.
Yeah.
Whatever you need, man.
Good week, bad week.
Okay.
So.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry that I'm talking about this in front of you right now.
So, and I'm sorry because you're going to hate this.
I'm sorry I keep chiming in and ruining the girl flow.
No, it's fine.
We're breaking the rules today.
girls just talk about some things so you do realize that men also listen to the show so
two we have two of them two of them do so i started birth control this month and i started
it very terrified because we're so scared i have taken in the past it made me gain a much weight
it made me literally insane so i've been taking it i took it for the first three weeks and i'm
like damn you know what i feel fine i'm emotionally together i'm mentally fine i'm not freaking out
i'm not crying like you're not that i'm not i don't kelty called me skinny today
start with compliment and wait she's just kidding you can't take her compliment seriously
we know that it was in the middle of a conversation though doesn't matter she does look skinny
so then like the three week point kind of hit and then i have just turned into a monster and i'm
could that just be regular pms jack well number one i've been spotting for like three weeks oh
you're pregnant so well then i got my full period so basically it's just the poison you've been
putting in your body the poison of the birth control that becca thinks is the devil the devil
but at least i'm not pregnant once again but yeah so it's been terrible and i don't think that women
are given enough credit for number one going through periods number two going through your
body adjusting to birth control it's literally the worst you gotta give it like three months
it sucks it takes a minute and they feel like a bloated mess you look great okay so i don't even
Take birth control.
It freaks me out.
Birth control freaks me out.
It freaks me out, too.
It freaks me out.
I've had too many women in my life that has completely derailed.
I know.
I just go, I don't know what the deal is here.
It's just not fair.
It's like there's no middle ground.
All I've got to say, abortions are easier.
Oh, my God.
There she is.
There she is.
Becca Tobin's here.
Back to being a total bitch.
And we just lost all of our listeners.
Doubt it.
I'm just kidding.
Okay, so.
I don't think I got very many likes.
Kelty.
I'm not after likes.
It's okay.
she can do a jack photo and she'll be right back on yeah becca you're so back you know i'm not
after likes ever okay you're not you really don't care okay do you have a good week so my good week
well it was partly you doing the jack but then okay so our listeners are amazing and i don't
know if you guys remember this girl macy she was one of our winners that we love me video chatted
with she like won the competition and we also gave her advice on this guy that she was seeing
the man bun guy yeah man bun so now she's with him and look at the picture that she sent me
oh my god whoa way to go she's that so that wasn't me macy you're such a no yes macy yes
macy we're happy for you even though becca wanted a picture of the jack you guys i'm
but it's like a polaroid it's so t-shirt it's pretty cool congratulations macy ask the lady
your sad single friends loved that photo congratulations to me because the jack is
turning into a thing are you gonna make a shirt i want to have you guys ever seen that
instagram it's like follow me too and it's the where the girl it's a picture of the girl's hand
and they do it around the world yeah i want that so people can pay me to go places and wear their
clothes but not when we tape the podcast except for the one day here i need you here okay anyways
tell us what's coming up well we're very excited i think this is an exceptional good week bad week
Darren Criss is here who
everyone knows who he is
but if you don't, he's rad
and he's coming up
I've been here the whole time, that's all an illusion
Remember when I said he was coming up? He's been here the whole time
I've been here the whole time desperately trying to shut
my mouth and my brain from all the comments
that I've wanted to say about
everything namely the jack what do you think of the jack well it's not so much the jack as it is
i'm sort of between uh both schools of thought i'm very much with becca if you guys know me i
i'm not much of a social media person uh i respect i respect the uniform i appreciate the good that
it can do and the uh connections that it can give between people um you know i i don't think you're
connivingly taking a picture and saying i'm gonna make people feel shitty about their relationships
no you're sharing with your friends it's a cute picture you love your boyfriend it's well intended
Unfortunately, that can happen with people that aren't familiar with you.
It might have an inverse or an opposite reaction, but that has nothing to do with you and more to do with them.
I'm just living my life, guys.
But you can think of that as anything in life, stuff that you don't even post, going to the market.
Hey, man, cool hat.
Maybe that guy hates that hat and now is really self-conscious that you're making fun of him.
So you don't know where people are coming from ever.
However, with my sexy photos, with things that I think are cute or wonderful, I remember the first time.
This was like maybe a week after I'd been on Glee.
I had a picture of me and my girlfriend that I loved
just one of my favorite ones like one I put in a frame
just to keep it around the apartment
and she posted it on Facebook
and I just remember going no don't do that because now
it's out there and now
I can like google image that picture and I go
and maybe because I'm a sentiment hoarder but I was like
no man
that's our photo so anytime
I have pictures like that I don't post
stuff because I go you know what this one I'm keeping
for myself but you're also a famous person
yeah I'm also just a commoner
because you're a famous person please let me do your correct
introduction we don't usually
let boys come on the lady gang but you're one of
our favorite people I'm happy to come on
Darren is
an Emmy nominated actor singer
composer he's starred on Broadway
twice you probably
know him for being real
sexy but he's also on that show
Glee have you guys heard of it
I don't think anybody here has
definitely not
I wanted to start the interview portion of this
podcast by asking both of
yours first impression of
each other when you met
uncle because you both
started in second season
or third season I for I'm
so outspoken about this I
was in love with Becca
Tobin I love and I still
love Becca Tobin I
remember being like this
girl's bad at the first
of all you had a couple
things are going for you
and I've told you this
point-blank many times
it's your it's your
battle-axe bad it was when
you walked in my trailer
with with lingerie on and
a rose in your teeth and
said I'm new here can you
teach me something I was
like okay um no i was psyched that there were um there was like a new york person coming in both
you and melissa were the two like new girls and both were like theater people which i get excited
about because there's just like a i guess cooler so it's yeah cool let's be nice i was gonna say
a work ethic but that is cool um and we had mutual friends from broadway and you were just cool and a
babe and i like you for the same reasons that i like you now no bullshit very funny hey becca
You better say something nice.
She's like, I did not like it.
I thought he was such a punk.
No, actually, I'm going to say Darren is like one of the most gracious, warm people and welcoming.
Because you go into that show and A, people were exhausted and just didn't have time to make new friends.
They're like, we're working crazy hours.
I get it now, you know, after doing it.
They're so tired.
They're kind of too tired to be bothered to talk to you.
Or they're kind of just annoyed that there's new people around that they have to get to know.
Darren is like absolutely the best person to have when you're the new kid
because he like talks to you he's engaged he's always like yeah it's just it's like a very genuine
warmth well you know it's also exciting to have new people it's like if you think of it that way
I remember being like oh cool like there's people who are excited to be here and I remember when I
joined the shows it was kind of like it's nerve-wracking you don't know what the reaction
is going to be so I made it very distinct point being like hey let's go let's get drinks there
was a night that was like you me yeah uh cord and a lot of other the new kids we all went out for
drinks and it was fun it was like you know jacob yeah and uh yeah i'm so glad i did that because
i didn't really get a chance to have that when i when i joined the show i think at one point
one i forget who said it it was one of the guys were just like hey so uh you and uh becca and
melissa you guys what's what's going on there i'm like i'm just am i not allowed to talk to her
no just but like because i would i'd be chatting with you chat up you or chat up any of the new
people and always be like hey so what's what's going on there i'm like i because i'm talking
to them because i'm excited in my but too excited darren's such an actor where like he talks to you
and you're like convinced he's in love with you because he's actually just charismatic and like
cares yeah you're like so we're cycling but he's actually like a dirty dirty like really gross
sense of humor i think i think it all comes from and i think it's same thing for becca i think i
joke about the things i care about the most i can be really mean horrible disgusting about things
that i think are just like endearing it's like i'm not gonna say something actually mean about
i definitely don't like this yeah she wasn't kidding that was a real earnest like
you need to get her a shirt stat um darren hollywood heartbreak now you're a old school
um master at the hot ways of hollywood what has been the thing you auditioned for you didn't get
the the thing that you hoped would happen the thing that disillusioned you like the thing that
you were just like oh god like what has been the hollywood heartbreak um i can't say because they
obviously everything kind of turns out the way they go and then it turns out okay so i can never
say i'm really like but in the moment getting that but in the moment i just remember being like
super hungry when i got here and like every little audition was like no but you don't understand i
could do this and they're all things that you know like were so stupid um my first thing that
i ever chased hard and i was still in college friends yeah friends i wanted friends and i just
couldn't do it a little young they were just stupid like um god see were you talking about
the show or just actual friends in real life because i think the joke was funny if you meant
actual friends i'm really not the show friends no but was there like were you supposed to be on
like big bang theory or no no no i remember there was uh and this is such a longer story it's so
convoluted but the the brunt of it is that there was a film version of a uh animated series that i
loved uh which was called avatar the last airbender and emma chamelon made a horrible
nice guy that movie i just did so poorly famously it was a famously uh terrible disaster that film
and uh i remember just really really wanting to be in that and i had an audition for it and i
didn't get i was like you don't understand that could be like a big thing for me and same same
thing with like you don't understand my needs yeah like i could be i could wield a sword that
could be cool uh and same with like a bunch of other stupid ones like i remember like jack the
brian singer had like a jack in the beanstalk movie nick holt ended up doing it but stuff like
that where you're you know you've you're new and you're hungry and you're like i can i can do it
coach put me in. Um, and I just remember like sending those annoying emails to your agent.
Like, have you heard anything just like that kind of pathetic puppy dog stuff that, um, is very,
you know, it's, it like consumes you. What was the ish moment? What was your,
what's been your moment where you thought, wow, I like, I did it. Like I, I'm the person people
want to be at this moment. Is it like a job? Is it a red carpet? Is it like a, are you at the
Emmys, like what is it?
You guys will appreciate this.
Somebody said this to me a week ago and it really, really hit me.
He said that people tend to shine the most with assignments.
So meaning like – so I'm doing these series of concerts around the country that – doing concerts at like Carnegie Hall.
That's not a name drop.
That's something that it was just never something I was going to do.
That's an assignment.
That's like, oh, yeah, sure.
I'll do that.
It was never like part of the dream.
yeah so because my heart and soul isn't like oh my god i've always wanted to do this i like try
and do the best as i can and you just do better because you're not like the stakes aren't as aren't
as high why am i bringing this up i haven't i related it to you at some point like the thing
oh yeah so i was going to say so glee you'd think would be the thing of like oh my god i've made it
i've done it but glee to me was such a like i always say i fell ass backwards into it and i'm
sure becca feels the same way it's like wow like you know you you created your blog that's something
you do that is you you're proud of it it's like wow like if you know if if that ever blows up in
some crazy way you never expected you'd be like wow i did it i made it because i did this whereas
glee we got invited on this magical mystery ride that somebody else created which is not to discredit
how amazing it was but i never had that moment of like wow i did it i made it to glee if glee was
around when i was two yeah i'd feel that way because i'd be like wow i made it on the glee
probably how people feel when they get on snl so when the paparazzi like chases you down the street
you're not like i'm the ish no man i've never that's not i think it's you know i'll tell you
exactly what it is it's when you get to meet people you really really admire um i got to
meet and hang out with steven sonheim for like a weekend and that was like this is unreal i'm like
allowed to be here with this guy that's an ish moment um being a president stuff like that but
then you're like wow i really shouldn't be here like but with someone like steven sondheim who
like you know like wrote music that you dug as a kid that basically put you on a path to meet
steven sondheim yeah that's when you go hell yeah i've worked hard for this this feels good do you
have a mirror message do you have a mantra on your mirror that like keeps you going no man i don't
think many men probably do yeah is that a test if i say yes then you go okay we're gonna laugh
um okay so we have a like a lady no we have a i just i didn't think you did i just want to check
um our like a lady question this week is special for darren i'm really happy to be here by the way
as a fan of the show even though jack and i've just met like we're best friends though i feel
lucky that i get to be here and by the way i'm not the first guy on here yes you are wasn't fancy
oh yeah fancy was on here well he's a lady he's like he's one of the girls he really is and i
think he'd appreciate saying that and he was like i love him he's straight up admitted that he was
one of the girls i love him um okay our like a lady question is specially for darren and that is
what do guys really want us to do during sex hmm i mean this is that he's jumping right in well
anal it is yep you care about all the bells and whistles that's as you know
a person to person question and this brings up a very interesting point um i was talking i forget
who it was i would love to call her out who was it um oh uh biting right she was talking about
biting and she was talking about how she was with this guy for a while that loved it and she was
you know starting to see this new guy and she was applying that which worked with the old guy
and this new guy and she's like do guys not like that i'm like you're asking you there's no it's
It's not, there's a black, like sexuality is not black and white.
Like people like different things, but it's so funny because it made me think of how many
like maybe one night stands people have where they go, Oh my God, he was so, you know what
he did?
He blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
How weird is that?
And you go, that guy probably just got out of a relationship with somebody that was like,
like bite me a lot.
And so people just apply whatever just worked because they think, Oh my God, Oh, she's going
to love this.
He's going to love this.
I'm going to do that.
And then they go, what the hell are you doing?
and it's amazing that people just have different things so yeah that's there's no there's there's
no rhyme or reason you guys notice all the little things like sometimes when you get old and i have
a lot of cellulite you don't really want to have a lot of sex in the light are you just talking
about i'm just talking about in general women in the mid-30s age you might be like i don't want to
have master gen what is that called it's a neck genie the chin blaster but like do you guys know
that stuff because i think a lot of girls they're like oh they're my imperfections will show but i
think when you have your penis in someone you don't really care as much do you um i mean i think
for both parties i think once you're there it's like yeah come on we made it this far you know
like you can't really what's a little cellulite you know yeah exactly also guys i don't think
guys are gross it's like there's so many guys are disgusting too it's like you you know if you get
down to the business you're like okay you have this and this going on now we're already here
let's do this inside me whatever yeah i feel like that's just kind of like you know you're already
there but uh i don't know i think it's all about like confidence is super sexy and that goes again
goes for both parties it's like owning what you have whether it's physically mentally i'll own
that cellulite well it's sexy because he probably doesn't even notice you have cellulite i don't
have cellulite i was just talking about in general oh okay i'm talking about myself of course this
is somebody named somebody else melting tonight um okay darren we made a special darren's do's
and darren's don'ts quiz and this is all things that have to do with girls and we want to tell
the women that listen if you think it's a do or a don't and we're all gonna vote
okay if we like it or not okay so here we go do or don't nudes nude photos you mean like nude photos
yeah look at like a text what do you think becca i did it but don't don't end up on the flapping
or whatever darren i like flapping that's that'll be when dick pics are exposed
it'll be just a bunch of dick pics i'll be the flap do you have any floating around any dick
pic no it's gonna be the flopping i would never ever do that no dick pic no way you've never sent
a dick pic absolutely not really i feel like you'd do something weird like i'm scared i'm scared of
social media i think i would take a picture of my dick and put it on so wait nude pictures getting
sent to you do it well listen i will invite that then he did his number is that's fine exactly yes
sent no yeah uh i mean it really depends on the person it's like at the end of the day
the people who are sending like those photos are doing it to make someone happy it's not like an
object self-objectifying thing i think it's like hey i know you like this this is for you so if
that makes that person happy and makes them feel sexy and makes them feel like you know like part
There's something secretive and, you know, like then, then rock on, do your thing, but
like, don't do it.
Cause you feel like you need to, like, that's, that's unsexy.
I would say probably just don't put your face in it.
If it's not a boyfriend.
Yeah.
That's the rule, right?
That's the, yeah.
Okay.
Do or don't love letters, love letters, love letters.
Yeah.
Like handwritten.
Yeah.
Um, I mean, sure.
That sounds nice.
Nobody does that.
Do or don't.
Do or don't.
Like frequently.
You have to say do or don't.
This doesn't need an explanation.
It's just do or don't, Darren.
Yeah, but that's a really complicated thing.
I know, I get it.
Like one every ten years?
That would be really sweet.
One every day?
Is that a do then?
No, go away.
Oh, you're creeping.
Fine.
Becca?
Oof.
I mean, I feel like the same way as Darren.
Like not all the time.
And what constitutes a love letter?
Oh, God.
Jack, do or don't?
Like sexy texts?
No.
That are longer than seven lines?
Sexy texts, that's a nude picture.
Okay.
Jack?
I'm a huge fan of love letters.
Me too.
Do.
okay uh girls asking guys out do or don't um i've never i'm too chicken i've never
do totally yeah okay i say don't uh probably don't practically but i think sort of
it's 2016 women power absolutely again it's a don't quit i'm not i'm not one for brevity
girls in sweatpants do always do do i would love i love doing girls in sweatpants
With the sweatpants on
It's hard
You have to navigate
On a lot of things
Fake eyelashes
On a woman
I will say
Do with things
Attached to that
Like
It depends on the circumstance
I will say
Some girls are really self-conscious
And don't like going out without them
And in that case
If that's you
Do you
The answer to all these
Is do you
No but that's not
I know
I'm not going to give you
Sexy answers
I'm giving you
I prepared this quiz
For us to have fun
I like that answer
Because I think
That that's nice
because i say don't unless it's dark out okay jack i say personally don't because i rub my eyes way
too much oh my god you guys come on kelty loves them she says i'm wearing them right now never
she's a show girl you can never have enough lash i don't have a lot of lash right now because these
are like left over from oh yeah see i would love to wear them i just have too many allergies to
wear them okay i wore them all for like a half a year yeah yeah darren do or don't gwen and blake
as a couple makes me sad oh no it does oh well no only because you know they they were the last
gavin and i know when were the last vestige of the 1990s romantic relationships they were the last
one i know it didn't and then it broke i'm happy for gwen who doesn't like gwen stefani don't
really know anything about blake sheldon but listen if gwen likes her so it's a do i'm okay
i love blake i mean do okay but does that not occur to you like literally like we lost brad
and angelina it was sad we lost did we lose brad and angelina excuse me excuse me brad
like that i mean that was forever ago still hurt when i see honestly i saw jennifer aniston on a
carpet not too long ago and it's been like a good 15 years and i was still like good for you girl
you're really showing him
because she looks so good
and I was like
why
she's so happy
she's remarried
she's sexy body
Jennifer Aniston
when you see her in real life
looks like she's had
a margarita
and an orgasm
five minutes before you saw her
like she's so boozy
she probably did
she probably did
god bless her
okay Jack
I'll say yeah
okay
I love Blake
I think it's weird
I'm happy
Gwen's happy
and I'm glad
she's putting out
good music again
because there was a minute
there when she had
like some bad music
I don't like anything
to say across the board
it's not my favorite i like it anyway okay um recently uh e-news personality maria menounos
got engaged after dating her boyfriend for 18 years dating for 18 years before you get engaged
do or don't well you're asking somebody who's been dating somebody for a long time
i'll say do to cover your ass to cover my ass how old is she i think she's like 37 is a long
that's so long it's a long time i say do though i mean if that's your thing yeah that's see i'm
sorry the the diplomatic answer i'm gonna constantly give is that's your thing do you man
yeah i guess that really is it darren's really not judgmental enough to be on the lady i know
it sucks and you know i wish i could say i was just trying to sound nice because people are
listening but it is my honest to god opinion and i apologize it's your funny it's your weird like
bay area like yeah man narco what do you think jack i mean i don't know anything about their
relationship so i guess it's lasted that long so i don't know whatever listen 18 years is longer
than most marriages so yeah rock and roll what if they now what if they break up now god that
would suck like what if you date no what if you date 18 years you get engaged and then the because
first year of marriage is the hardest year you're 22 you're like and we're over so sad okay um here
we go women that have like the real fancy articulate weird nail art do or don't like
crazy acrylics like all the time yeah like as their thing don't okay oh first don't from darren
i'm gonna say don't i can i only have natural because i feel like i look so cheap with that
yeah yeah it looks good on but not me yeah well if it's fun like every now and then oh god darren
just keep with your don't don't you do you go for it um one piece bathing suits do really yeah
That makes me laugh because I knew I'm going to be hit up with a bunch of don'ts.
No, do.
I love a one-piece.
I wore a one-piece this weekend.
Oh, then you were the only one giving me some flack on that.
No, I just thought it was cute that you actually had an answer.
Do.
Absolutely.
Do.
Do you like a one-piece?
No, I don't like a one-piece because I have a very long body and they're not long enough
for me and it gives my vagina a front wedgie.
Is there a name for that?
Camel toe.
Yeah.
No, but like a wedgie though.
Listen.
Not necessarily a camel toe.
Like a pulling up on.
I guess it just came with that.
Yeah, an extreme.
When I was a rockette, I used to have to make them to make my body suits wider in girth
and longer at the front because my vagina is so wide.
Wide is that vagina?
Here we go.
Kulots.
What the hell?
Kulots are like-
Those pants that come down to your calf.
Long shorts.
Like long shorts for women.
They like go down to here and they're kind of like wide.
It's like a pant.
Like capris.
No, capris are like tapered.
Yeah.
A kulot is wide.
They're like wide leg capri length pants.
Well, if you're like a 50-year-old activist from Moran County, maybe.
So it's a don't.
I'm going to say a strong do.
Jack?
I'll say do, but I still haven't found a pair that looks good on me.
Yeah, I need to see one.
I don't think my friend remembers this right.
Look on Kelty's Instagram.
I wore a pair, and I instantly regretted it.
And then I wore them again five years later, and I liked it.
So I don't know.
I'm confused.
Yeah, it's like the normcore thing.
I feel like I wear them all the time.
Really?
I only have one pair.
Really?
Okay.
Darren Criss.
Red lipstick on a woman.
Absolutely.
Do.
Do.
His girlfriend, Mia, actually is one of the women, I think, who can always pull off a
red lip.
Yeah.
Like, she looks amazing with a red lip.
But that's also very dependent on people, like, on the woman.
Yeah.
Do you like a red lip, Becca?
Yeah.
Okay.
Do.
I love a good red matte lip.
Ooh.
Yep.
I think it's a do as well, except for me when it ends up on my teeth.
Okay.
Women who...
This is the last one, so make it good.
active wear athleisure absolutely do to do total do for many reasons do you everybody tell us the
reasons uh well first of all like the fact that i get to live like if i could tell my great
grandparents or my grandparents even that like when i'm in my 20s it's totally acceptable for me
to be around women who are basically in their underwear that's socially acceptable and cool
awesome that's great um uh also yeah just sporty women are sexy to me do i just think it's so
i know we just got really hot i feel like i'm like echoey um i think it's a really easy way
to be lazy yeah i you know what it's a do because my husband never likes me more than when i'm like
going to yoga i love it too i don't think it's my favorite look but like he's always like look at
your butt i'm like oh my god yeah but also it's great because you can't see the cellulite but you
can see the shapes i thought you said you yeah i thought that wasn't if you had it okay well now
we know what darren likes but guess what we're not done with him ask the lady gang is coming up next
and he's going to solve your problems okay what's going on now here's the lady gang so before we
start this you guys can get 20 off of jack bannock.com using code lady gang so go buy a man
tears mug and put your ex-boyfriend's tears in it okay so this is the last part of our podcast
called ask lady gang you're gonna help us answer questions okay from listeners that are writing in
and hopefully you can give like a good succinct answer that like that won't be longer than two
minutes yeah is that the yeah that you don't have to go back and forth okay so the first question
comes from kelsey martin on email and she says what is the best way to deal with a bff a best
female friend my boyfriend has a girl he's been friends with since he was a little kid and she's
super important to him she has a serious boyfriend and neither of them have ever given me any reason
to be worried that they're anything more than platonic but i can't help feel a little jealous
and weird about it her and i get along but she's definitely pretty territorial and protective when
it comes to my boyfriend how can i handle this situation without coming across crazy i would
absolutely talk to her be like hey look i know you're really good friends and i feel weird about
even saying this but i just kind of feel like it's it's territorial two things could happen one
she says yeah i am it's been weird for me and you can talk about it the other thing that can happen
is oh my god i can't believe you feel strange about that i'm sorry let's talk about this so
she should just like say it and be really like not confrontational about it but just say hey i
kind of feel a certain way matter of fact yeah i just i sort of feel um like i like like ease my
mind here and help me out and then i think the honesty would probably be appreciated and you can
move from there so yeah kelsey i have some bad news here we go your friend's friend bff best
female friend has either boned him or is trying to bone him yep i probably agree i'm so sorry but
if you feel if you sense the protectiveness it's a woman's intuition it's a woman's intuition
because if she has no interest in boning your boyfriend then number one she wouldn't waste her
time even being friends with him like i hate to say it but like i have very few guy friends that
i see all the time or talk to all the time and i have childhood friends like we're really close
but like the difference in me wanting to have sex with them and me not is like the amount of time
that i need to be around them and how weird i get when their girlfriends are around like yeah
there should be no weirdness i totally agree with that um i actually i'm the opposite i have a best
guy friend you see him all the time and you're well he lives in canada we grew up down the street
from each other he's basically my brother we've never boned there's never been like a thing he
was like a dancer growing up straight guy he just got engaged a couple weeks ago but here's the
difference i don't care who he dates that's like i'm happy for him and his new wife because i think
she's rad and deserving of him but like i've never been like oh you're dating someone and i feel weird
or like super protective of you i'm like you do you but like you're my guy friend i've never felt
attracted to him he was like at our wedding he's like a great guy and it's just like i think it's
like that small town thing where he was just like my brother growing up like he's to drive me to
dance class you know so there's if i think if there's enough history there then it isn't so
weird and you go back to saying that you don't care who he dates it'd be one of those things
if they just started dating
and that's where the protectiveness comes in.
But if she's still that protective about him
and that's her boyfriend,
then that's weird.
Yeah, and how long has this girl
been dating this guy?
Has it been a while?
Or is it a new thing?
Because if they've just started dating,
yeah, she'd probably feel a little weird about it.
I do think girls and guys can be friends,
but there's barely.
I have a situation right now
where one of our couple's friends
keeps trying to sleep with her
and she just doesn't answer my text.
And it's so weird
because it's like I thought we were friends
and I'm just confused.
Darren, I'm not interested.
i'm not talking about no but like you we just found out that like one of their best girlfriends
that like he'll get lunch with her and his girlfriend is like oh i'm totally cool they're
just friends but they've been having sex for months of course they are like it's just yeah
it's never good it's really dangerous yeah it's like dude it is weird yeah sorry you should
probably have a conversation or just go through his cell phone but that's the thing too having
a conversation i still think even even if that's even if it's as shitty as what becca is saying
like bring it up you know it just express your concern yeah yeah okay all right next question
is from mary k on email and she says my boyfriend and i have been dating for about three years and
recently moved in together we always kept our finances totally separate and have continued to
do so while sharing an apartment i think it's smart to keep our money separate but i'm starting
to feel guilty seeing how difficult it is for him to contribute as much as i do to groceries
household items date nights etc should i ease off on expecting him to divide everything 50 50 with
me hashtag adult problems oh god that is real life everyone's like will he text me back should
i have sex with him i'm like this is real life that's real life when all the other stuff that
should matter matters the most that sucks if you were that guy what would you want her to do
oof that's tough well if i was the guy that was that wasn't not able to like not able that wasn't
or struggling to make that well again it's sort of the same thing that with my last answer it's
like you just got to talk about it and be really real about it and if and you know if it's having
effect on their relationship is instead of just like their finances you know if there is like a
power struggle there that is like you know feeding into deeper issues that they haven't addressed
it's like yeah she should she should tell him about it and or you know um just try and be as
supportive or proactive as she can in helping him you know get to whatever you know means that
whether it's getting a new job or or doing it ever but um yeah i think if you don't bring it
up it'll fester and really like crack open in a really bad way and i think like with men too a lot
of men feel like emasculated in that situation and they're probably too embarrassed to bring it up so
it would be but if he's still with you and he still is enjoying that relationship then it just
needs to be addressed i hope i hope in this case who's the girl that sent us mary k mary k i would
hope and this has nothing to do with male and female i think it's just in any partnership i
hope that whoever is the person that isn't holding their weight so to speak should be like hey i'm
really sorry about this and like make the other person know that they give a shit and they're not
just taking advantage exactly this is a i get asked this all the time for my friends like when
they get married they're like what do you guys do about your money here's my solution you what
chris and i do is we have a hook we have a group bank account and each one of us put a certain
amount of money in it every month that meets in the middle and that covers our mortgage and our
dog walker and all the like life stuff right and then he has his own money and i have my own money
because you don't really want to have all your money together because if you want to like i did
last night have insomnia and spend 700 on shop bop and buy yourself new shoes you don't really
want your man to be like why did you spend stupid money on shoe like you got to have your own money
ladies so like keep your shit separate and then bring it together for like real life i like that
yeah i can dig that but i think she needs to ask herself like how serious this is if they just
moved in together like if you're in it for the long haul then oh don't put your money together
unless you're married or in like a long-term serious relationship living together like
don't give him access to those pin numbers okay so the last question is from kendra shulk and she
says i'm a 30 year old woman who's been married to my husband for three years however many of my
friends are still single many of my girlfriends want to do girls trips for 30th birthdays needing
a plus one date to a wedding or just traveling to get away i'm somewhat trying to take advantage of
these awesome pre-baby years where i can hang out with my friends but my husband is starting to put
the kibosh on taking any other trips in your opinion when does a person stop taking trips
with their girlfriends and just keep it to family after they're married i feel like this is such a
modern issue because i'm waiting to have children have a decent amount of discretionary income and
friends who are still single go with your girlfriends 100 you have to go because yeah
once if you especially if she is referring it to it as her pre like children era like once you have
kids forget about it man like you're just going to drive yourself nuts for not having that outlet
like go with your girlfriends and frankly your husband should understand that yeah why doesn't
your husband want you to go that's but here's the other thing though if you're spending all your
money and all your free time on these girl trips and you're not taking time with your husband
exactly well there's another side he does have a right to be like okay enough with the girl trips
like i think how many girl trips are we how many girls exactly any any excuse to girl trip because
also here's the thing that really annoys me is like i i don't have a baby here we go tell us
becca what annoys you about i don't have a baby but my sister does because i like know so many
ways to fix that i hate you you can't get pregnant in the bum bum so like i have a sister who has
two children um you know zach has two sisters who have three kids each and i'm like the fun hasn't
stopped for them i mean they just have to plan more you know what i mean and so it's like don't
act like before you have a baby that's like it you got to get it all your like you know kicks
while you're you know pre-baby so like maybe don't look at it in such an extreme way but if you want
to go on the trip go on the trip just don't like be a dick about it yeah i think it's like
definitely finding that balance because if you're not spending enough time with your husband and
that's an issue then you might be a single girl you might be a single girl there's a lot of
studies about like those those uh trips and that time both for men and women like strengthening
relationships like hardcore because well you need that time away you can't be like with each other
24 hours a day you're going sane and it's more of a modern notion i think people are getting more
and more privy to so yeah dude like as long the girl strip isn't like every weekend and also just
in general if your other half is making you feel guilty about you living your life and having fun
yeah i don't know about them yeah you know like life is really hard and there's lots of really
things to be like about and if your person's like always like where i'm going like maybe find a more
devil's advocate i think where where that problem arises where people start getting uneasy about
their partners doing things with their friends is they feel like they're not included and feel like
well who are you what what can they provide that i can't provide and the honest god truth is like
well that's where i'm going because i want i want something you can provide because and that's okay
like if you accept that fact that like there is a part of you that can't fulfill every need of your
of your and that's healthy like that's okay man like that's that's mathematically absurd to assume
that the person you're with can take care of absolutely everything it's like it's a lot of
pressure and it's unfair the more you say you know what you got to go take care of yourself like
you do you you do you that's that's you know what that is that's my mirror mantra there you go he
has a mirror message on that note darren we're so excited you were here make sure you guys that
you follow him on social media so you can post yeah yeah every every six weeks you'll get something
even though it's our manager who's just posting on his social media um but tell us about the tell
us actually he never you know actually just to set this right because of the like the four percent
of people that are listening this that probably think that uh it is me i just know i know you
I just tell Ricky to do it because I won't do it.
There you go.
Or it's Ricky.
Because it's so hard.
I'll be like on a trip with Ricky and Darren and I share the same manager.
And Ricky will be like –
You're welcome.
Yeah, thank you.
Another thing Darren brought into my life.
And Ricky will be like, God damn it, Darren.
I've told him 800 times to post this announcement about his concert he's doing.
Like does the kid not want anyone to come to his concert?
It's a lot.
Yep.
And so I'll just email him because he'll write something and I'll be like, this sounds like you.
So anything he posts, it's me.
it's just he's doing it from his phone because i'll never do it no because actually next i have
a manager i'll tell you what it is i was i was at my friend's show and i because i i have too
many thoughts and tweets and pictures that i want to post all the time all the time i just don't
because like for instance i was at my friend's premiere i'm so proud of him it's like my friend
john rapson who's doing gentleman's guide to love and murder he's the lead character it's so exciting
our entire class a huge chunk of our class is there and it's intermission and uh i'm like
tweeting and the tweet was like that uh justin bieber had a show like just a couple blocks away
at staples i was at the elements in theater in los angeles and it was like we're the night that
bieber and my friend is doing gentleman's guide like no contest like just trying to sorry yeah
justin bieber no contest and then people are mean and i kept like drafting this because i was like
oh wait no i don't want to like piss off the believers because i thought this is fun like i
love just me but i don't and then and then i kept like trying to you know all my friends were around
me that i want to say hi to and i spent five minutes on my phone that i could have been
catching it with my friends and that's why i never tweeted that and so if you accumulate those
i just don't like being on my phone when i can be with the human race you gotta be good at those
tweets yeah um well you know there's an easy solution to that just take some jack photos
and put them on the instagram and i'll be there you got any jack see then i'll just put it in a
frame but in my house but i'll put a little thumbs up cartoon underneath it that has a thousand and
5 yeah 1.5k next to it i'll give my own goddamn likes anytime a person comes into your house they
have they have to be they have exactly they'll like write it like a little dash i like that
yeah you'll have i'll have instead of followers it's just people that come to my home yeah it's
real life too i do too okay well let's make it a thing a thing um don't come to my home
thank you guys so much for listening darren thanks for being thank you for having me this
is really cool i appreciate being included sure you follow you guys follow us on instagram it's
Becca Tobin, at Jack Vanek, at Kelty Knight, at The Lady Gang.
And if you want to ask your Lady Gang questions, just go to our website, theladygang.com,
and you can submit them right there.
And then it's also going to sign you up for our nice little newsletter, which is really fun.
And it's like an elite group that only we can get into if you sign up.
It's the OG Lady Gang.
It's the OG Lady Gang.
And make sure you subscribe, subscribe, subscribe to this podcast on iTunes.
And leave us a five-star review and a nice comment because we check every week
and we're going to be posting some of our favorite comments.
On that note, farewell, my friends.
See you next Tuesday.
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Thanks for listening to today's episode.
You can join the Girl Gang from the Fempire every Tuesday at iTunes and PodcastOne.com.
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