LadyGang - Flashback Friday: Heather McDonald Joins LadyGang!

Episode Date: November 10, 2023

Heather McDonald is super funny, loves hosting her "Juicy Scoop" podcast, and has a great explanation for why she taped her Showtime comedy special twice. She's also sharing best word of advice she ever got from friend, Kris Jenner, how she feels about Jamie Lynn Spears' comeback, and what she enjoyed most about working on E!'s Chelsea Lately TV show. Original Airdate: June 20, 2016 Check out our holiday deals!!! Loft: Use code LADYGANG at Loft.com to get $25 off your full price purchase! Huggies: Get your baby’s butt into Huggies best fitting diaper! Huggies Little Movers. We got you, baby.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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wearfigs.com and use code figs ca for 15 off your first order that's wearfigs.com code figs ca well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek hello hello hello welcome to the lady gang we have a very exciting show for you but before we get into it i'm going to do a little introduction for those of you who have not listened before i have kelty knight across from me emmy nominated loser she's been nominated twice she's lost twice um but she is hollywood can i add something sure instagram aficionado oh instagram aficionado self self-replacing and her favorite activity

involves cleaning out her closet while listening to the backstreet boys and to my right that's a Good one. Jack Vanek. She is the creator, owner, boss lady, CEO of Jack Vanek Clothing. And she's so famous, she has a sandwich named after her. That's right. It was at my friend's sandwich shop. What's the name of the sandwich shop?

Jack Attack. Oh, I know the sandwich. It's Jack Attack. Jack Attack. And I am Becca Tobin, actress, unemployed actress. I can't help myself. I always say unemployed actress, and that's the damn truth. And I am...

Have great eyebrows. I have great eyebrows. You do have good eyebrows. I'm half Jewish, and I'm lactose intolerant. And I just want to say, Kelty wants me to beg you guys to go follow us on Instagram and Twitter. Yep. And I really, really want you to also, because Jack does a kick-ass job with it, and you don't want to miss out on fun things.

We are the funnest group of gals in Hollywood, and if you haven't subscribed on iTunes to this podcast, what are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? Go over to theladygame.com. Check out our website. Browse. Get to know us. Look at our cute pictures, but definitely go to Instagram and follow us at the Lady

Gang because we just need you to do that. We want the validation in life. And when you listen, go on iTunes, give us five stars, tell us we're cute, give us good comments. Anything else? Nope. That's it. That's it.

All right. So who wants to lead us into Good Week, Bad Week? Kelty? Sure. Okay. All right. Let me start with my Good Week. So when the Lady Gang was at Coachella, we went to the Revolve party, which was awesome.

And now Revolve is carrying Jack Vanek's stuff, so that's a good week for you. But anyway, there was this company called Lock, Stock, and Barrel there, and they were hand monogramming with red felt these bandanas for everyone. And we got Lady Gang ones made, and we looked so cute on Instagram, and I got like 1,200 likes. It was a big deal. Anyway, then two weeks later, Becca came to this podcast the week that we filmed with Sophia from Nasty Gal wearing high-waisted black pants, a white T-shirt, jeans, and a jean jacket that had her name in the same writing as the Lady Gang things. And it said Becca in blue writing. And I thought, oh, my God, Becca Tobin is so cool. I really want the jacket.

So then I low-key texted Becca and I was like, yo, I don't want to be crazy, but like, where'd you get that jacket with your name on it? Cause I love it so much. And she goes, oh, it was gifted to me by Ann Taylor. And I went on the Ann Taylor website. They don't make this. So it was something super special from people that are on the B list in Hollywood thing to be Ann Taylor.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, it's so cute. It's like my favorite jacket ever. So then I went in my own closet and I thought, voila, I have my own denim jacket that actually fits me cute from Madewell. And I was like, I wonder if I could take it to Lock, Stock, and Barrel and get... Don't tell our listeners where you did it because I just had a great idea.

We should do denim jackets for merch and write Lady Gang in our fun writing. It's okay. Nobody's going to tell me. So no one knows what that is. But anyway, I took it to this company that was a secret. And they put my name on my jacket in red. It says Kelty. You can see it on my Instagram.

I've never felt better. And then today, when I was getting ready to come here, I've been having a hard week, feeling not great about myself. I put on my high-waisted jeans, black jeans, a white t-shirt. I even popped the collar. And I want to tell you, I swagged out your style and I'm cooler for it.

You know what? It's flattering. I'm not the kind of girl that ever cares when people copy me. But I like getting credit. You know what I mean? Credit is due. I love telling people when I copy them. Here's my bad week.

Hashtag, it's just my face. Oh, God. I'm doing a wardrobe fitting and the head of wardrobe comes in my room and she goes, um, she's someone that's sort of in my inner circle and knows when I'm struggling with like weight or not feeling great or feeling like puffy or whatever, because she has to try dresses on me all the time. And so she goes, how are you feeling? I said, Oh yeah, I'm feeling okay. And she goes, you know, you really shouldn't put all those fillers in your face because I found out you can have allergic reactions to them.

and I looked at her and I said, I don't put fillers in my face. And in my head I was thinking hashtag, it's just my face. And she goes, she goes, you don't. And I said, no. And she goes, Oh, Oh, I'm sorry. You know, I just, my doctor told me that, you know, when people get their under eyes done or they get their cheeks done, it can cause another reaction, which can like really mess, mess you up on the inside. It's just her face. It's just my face. So just telling everyone happens all the time just my face and then i had to look in the mirror and i was like first of all i have adult acne and if i was going to inject anything into my face it would be cortisone to get rid of these damn zits on my chin also i want to i want to just this is my

public service announcement for everybody okay filler and botox are two very different things yeah wait 100 no she was saying filler okay okay so botox we're actually having a doctor come on Yes, and we're going to talk about all of this, but just to clear it up, Botox is like the gateway to all the other things, but the filler is a much more extreme thing to do to your face. Well, and the filler actually makes physical changes. It changes your face. Or Botox just makes you not wrinkly.

Yeah, it preserves us. Yes. So you need to set the record straight with her and be like, the only needle going in my face is Botox, and I am not ashamed. I'm not ashamed of my Botox at all. I also have been using Retin-A for 10 years. So everyone's always like, why is your skin so smooth? Well, because I've been using Retin-A and I haven't gone in the sun.

Also, we've talked about this. I just – stop. Listen, if you're at a boozy mimosa brunch and we're all offering up what we've done to our face, that's an appropriate time to ask people what their fillers. No, that's what I was going to say. Don't just bring it up. That's so rude. It's Hollywood, though.

People don't know anymore what's like tacky and what's not. I have a slap of it. My cheeks are puffy. Well, I'm sorry. No, you have good cheekbones. Thanks, Jack. You're my only friend. You're welcome.

You and Becca in her jean jacket. I'm going to make you feel better right now. Okay. So my bad week is so bad. Oh, God. I live in a really cute part of town where there's a street. I'm not going to say it because I think that's kind of weird. Stalkers.

I love your apartment, by the way. Thanks. So cute. And you walk around. It's like a very, like, foot traffic-y kind of place. But it's a lot of young families, and there's no, like, Ivy restaurant that there's paparazzi, blah, blah, blah, whatever. so i've lived here for several years in this neighborhood whatever and um i've never seen a paparazzi like never maybe once when you know like maybe once in a blue moon um so i'm walking

around this area where i do all my errands all of them i and you know what we look like when we're running errands cute balls not cute i do not trash i look like garbage on garbage yeah so i am doing these errands and all of a sudden i'm walking my dog i'm holding a green juice and there's this woman just random woman and she's has a giant camera and she starts taking pictures of me what you're so famous this is my dream no but like it's so odd it's like the weirdest paparazzi encounter because she kind of looks like you know not a paparazzi usually the paparazzi are like men and they're like you know urban like backwards hats and like sneakers and their hip she's like mom jeans tennis shoes you know so i was like is that a paparazzi is that

is that a tourist like coming and like and she's like that girl has a little white dog maybe she's famous paris hilton is that you so anyways she takes these photos and i was like okay well i'm never gonna see these photos because even if paparazzi takes your photos someone still has to buy those photos for them to see the light of day and my photos are not worth anything so it's like i don't see anything unless i'm with someone more famous so i'm not worried about it whatever a couple days later i get tagged in photos of me on this street looking at the camera like but here's the worst wait what was it on um i don't know because it just gets like people just tweeted them to me so they're somewhere they're somewhere yeah nowhere important i'm sure but

i get these and i am wearing what i thought up until this moment were like my cute like high-waisted boyfriend momish jeans you know how those are in right now those like hip show me the picture right now i'm gonna we're gonna put it on instagram they don't photograph they don't photograph well and i also found out they just don't look good at all like at all and my boyfriend after showing him this photo or my fiance oops he is like always so nice to me when i'm like look how ugly i look in this he'll always be like you do not look ugly you're being crazy you look beautiful and this one he like died laughing and he's like oh my god can we burn those jeans yet i i can never wear them again and they were expensive i got them in sweden i was so proud

of myself for having scandinavian fashion they did me dirty when you see these photos it is awful we're gonna put them up on instagram can i see it please now but i think it's exciting that you got paparazzi'd i don't think it is did they want your ring it's kind of no one's seen your ring yet they've seen my ring weird like how did they know i have i think she just waits there because there are a lot of like actors who live around this area and they have families so they bring their kids yeah and but it's always been like a very safe place to to like do look like we're gonna judge the photos right now she's just put out a ring for me to hold it's so bad okay here you go i'm also wearing like the worst top ever god can you invite me

over the next time you're gonna pop around i don't know that's my dream even a bad one here's the bad one that's not that bad you guys i'm gonna let our listeners judge this it don't be nice tell me it looks like a penis it looks like a penis it's so gross there's an eggplant emoji in that pant or if you're wearing depends that's what it also looks like not to mention like my face just looks busted like yeah but like oh my god i anyway i'm so proud of you though you're so famous i mean and we're friends yeah okay so here's my here's my good week i may not have to be introducing myself as unemployed actress anymore oh yeah snap this is a big one what did you get i got it i got offered a job but i can't talk about it because you know until

contracts are signed you're kind of screwed if you say you're gonna jinx it or yeah whatever is your contract signed it's being worked on okay hollywood moves at a very slow slow moving pace it's a slow burn um and it's it's yeah so anyways that's the thing and i was like struggling with if i was going to share this or with or not because it's such a like personal thing your career and being an actor and having people never hire you so i was like you know what i'm not gonna like bogus like bullshit people they write us in their questions about career struggles and like feeling whatever so i was like i'm gonna let them into what's going on in my life so yeah it's like a pretty good job oh but you can't say anything about it no but like it doesn't really i mean

it's just a job like just what was the feeling though because we deal with so much rejection so what does it feel like when you get the call i get one how much money yep what do i have to do yeah how hard do i have to work uh-huh do i like who i'm working with yeah do you have to show a boob yeah i don't have to be naked oh i mean it's not it's actually now when i get those calls it's like very i'm very business about it because it's like you have you know i had my moment of being like ah glee this is amazing and like it's like fireworks and unicorns and then you like get into the business and you're like oh my god i'm just like trying to get a freaking paycheck so congrats becca thanks guys that's great great okay jack i just want to hear about it even more paparazzi

in your future i'm sure take me with it take us with you i doubt it all kelsey wants all she wants please i'm no i'm going to new york in like two days and i'm definitely calling the paparazzi myself that's all god okay so anyways shameless desperado yeah thirsty i don't care hashtag hashtag it's just my face the best part is that when shift picture finally comes out she's gonna be like i it happened i called him he showed up i looked amazing i went over and i picked the photos that i wanted to use it was just so we had a night event we drank wine and then you'll be like i look so bad and then the picture is amazing yeah that's the worst you freaking jerk okay so my good week is our facebook group has over a thousand members in one week that's incredible

one week i'm pretty dope i couldn't figure out how to get on it because you don't have a facebook i have like a um like uh uh what's it called a page i don't yeah your page you can't get in the page i have to use my personal face so do i i try to get on my page too it doesn't work i need to do a person you need to be a real person can i you know what i'm gonna do alter ego i'm gonna have an alter ego and none of you are gonna know who it is oh and you're just gonna be saying mean things about us you're gonna say like our deepest my name is gonna be virginia slim my fake name is sally prescott when i was on match.com oh sally prescott don't you want to date sally prescott she's so fun she puts out she does she does put out anyway jack thank you so

much for making our facebook group you're welcome i think it's really cool people are starting to talk about real stuff and have like their little struggles in there and i think it's a good community to have and i approved my mom into it today oh that's scary i went to look at the request i was like may vanik what that's great i'm like creeping on me i feel like your mom is good times though she is she's super fun she's like an ultimate stalker i'll tell her like one thing and she'll be like oh my god i know everything about this person i should be in the fbi oh my god that's amazing you're a creep um so yeah i'm really excited about it and you guys can join if you aren't in it yet we can get 2 000 members in a week um my bad week oh my bad week's

good i got called out for face tuning one of my pictures online because i made your boob bigger mine and because i was making my arm smaller and it made your boob bigger wait how did they sure they knew because my boob looked bigger so it was i know it's my fault it was one of your fan pages because okay the picture that we posted with dorothy i was like smushing my arm against my body and it looks huge so i was like okay i'm gonna make it look like my normal arm looks as you know yeah so i don't have like this huge arm in the picture but then my boobs look big because i was next to you and you're in back of me so i like pulled my arm in and it pulled your boob out everybody so i'm like everybody wins out yeah and it was one of your fan pages and she's like

haha at jack for photoshopping the picture of her arm my fans know this bod really well they do well and the problem was you two posted the original picture i know i felt so bad i even texted you guys both and i was like i'm photoshopping this picture you texted us after we posted it and i didn't see that it was too far up in the stream damn it i know but yeah i mean i feel badly i would have posted the fixed picture i would have too i need to look at this photo if my boob looks really it probably looks nice it does it looks nice and perky i know i was just trying to like help everybody in general bad weeks all around for like when you have fat arm in a picture it's unavoidable and it comes out of nowhere it's really bad i'm like i can't have this on

the internet i'm gonna just stare at it forever so i had to fix it but then whatever it's like kim kardashian chloe kardashian are her abs real look at that tile in the background i know one of my favorite things i was looking for face tuning and celebrities photos it's so fun it's awesome because people are so bad i was with friends this weekend and there's a girl that we know who like literally airbrushes her face it literally just it's just eyes and oh she probably uses the soften tool so it makes your face look like paper it's just gotten so out of hand that my friend wrote in the comment he wrote hashtag no filter oh does she like skinify herself too yeah i mean she looks like like like an alien she doesn't even look like a person i can't even see a nose

on her face i just don't understand why people do it because it's like we all know what you look like in real life i just do it if my arm looks like out of proportion to what it usually does i don't know i enjoy but also remember that that one part where you could put eyeliner in your eyes such a no-no do you remember that in facetune when they would like add an eyeliner i was like No, no, you guys, this is Wednesday too far. Yeah, you could add the whole makeup, the whole face. Well, there we go, you guys. Okay, what's going on?

Now, here's the lady gang. Oh, get ready, everyone, because this woman is a professional. She's one of the funniest ladies in town, a crazy popular stand-up comedian, and you might remember her from Chelsea Lately, After Lady, Lately, like a zillion TV appearances. You might be a podcast fanatic and listening to one of the most popular weekly podcasts that exists, Juicy Scoop,

which Becca Tobin's your number one fan, so watch out, Heather. I have not missed an episode. And since we are currently taking suggestions for the Lady Gang Book Club, we should probably also consider her New York Times bestselling book, You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again. Welcome to the podcast, Heather McDonald. Hi. How are you?

Is there pressure because you know what this is like to host an interview at podcasts? Yes. But I, I actually, I, I've been enjoying doing the whole podcast thing so much, you know, and I've always, if I'm free, I love going on other people's and it's, it's great. I think it's just been, it's been a really surprisingly wonderful experience that I didn't expect. And then, and then the response to my show has been like, I feel like that person that like gets the Oscar and is like, it was just a tiny film.

We only, we only worked for 23 days. We couldn't get the budget. I never imagined. and um i think i didn't even know what i was doing yes and so it's like yeah so it's kind of but anyway so it's um but when we were when you started to talk about that you think you like my show um the catholic thing has been just an overwhelming theme of people that have reached out because i talked i did this whole thing serial sister it goes from episode 35 to like 50 and um and it's about my crazy sister and i come from this big irish catholic family and it just

it's amazing yeah and people are all my situation isn't that bad but i could totally relate or sometimes like my sister's great but i just like love the story and rosie o'donnell started listening i heard that and tweeted me and she's like oh my god this is you know and then what's interesting is the thing i started this past week which is a new thing which is about like serial daters when you date like this awful person so my friend who i'm having dinner with tonight is um she started dating this guy and anyway the whole story evolves and she found out he was dating three other women at the same time wait i think i heard this did you talk about it a little we talked a little bit about it because i had i had jen alfred on so it's like i'm like i have

to split this one up too i didn't mean to like these people too but there is gonna be a part two or three i don't know it's because it's because i have all the girls come in and there's so much to the story that and now i i'm getting really good feedback of other people's stories and there's so many similarities whether it's a serial like i'll probably feature serial sister stories as well other people's and then like interview them after and and then also with this dating thing it's just like there's so there's signs of the type of guy that is this like sociopath oh yeah i have an idea for what you should do tell me you should to catch a predator style the guy like yes set it up like a like a heist is that what it's pretty amazing

have like a secret camera yeah you should be what's his face like all these stories and then you all confront him in some crazy way well on the podcast here's the thing we didn't say his name but um we call him in the show so what is but i mean my dream is that someone will be listening that will somebody will meet him because he's going to hit on some cute woman in the South Bay or Newport Beach or something and she's going to like all of a sudden

it's going to click to her like why does this guy's story sort of sound familiar oh my god I think that was from Heather McDonald's podcast that's my dream I just want that to happen and I want his like because he's been just doing this and dating women and borrowing money from them and not paying his rent and being that kind of

person but that lives like a pretty nice white male you know lifestyle paddle boarding he's like mid-40s ew gross ew um okay speaking of heartbreak yes let's get it let's bring it back to you yes i thought we were just talking totally about me sorry no just your work you've been in this biz for a minute uh-huh what has been the heartbreak has there been a gig a thing something that went down that just broke your heart you thought oh i'm out of hollywood i'm moving to you know santa were you gonna say cuba i was gonna say cuba but like

americans can't move yeah i mean to be totally honest it was this past january when i did the podcast with theo vaughn and when i did that podcast i was really honest about my own insecurities working at a job in hollywood which is healthy lately and they took a small portion of it like less than 30 seconds gave it to tmz and then tmz took a sentence from it made it a headline and what was really screwed about it is that they put it out there and I guess they do this with big

editorial magazines as well but I had never had it happen to me I had been on the side of making fun of it on Chelsea lately it wasn't because this a-hole said this one line and this time I was the a-hole because the one line was like I was scared every day working at Chelsea lately

I was scared like I'd lose my job because I'm not that person that just has like balls of steel yeah so it got interpreted like i was terrified of chelsea handler like it made it sound so lame here we'd gone on the road together we'd done shows together that wasn't at all the case and if you listen to the whole podcast you would see that i said complimentary things about her that i didn't so the story came out saturday so i'm in denver colorado doing stand-up and i'm waiting in line to buy this coat and someone's like i start seeing these tweets and stuff and i'm like

what is it and on my heart just like my stomach i was like dying and my friend's sending it to me and she's like i go just i'm not even gonna read the comments i can't even remember what the comments are gonna be i didn't really know what to do i think now i would have like immediately written a long explanation on facebook but since i had taped it literally six weeks ago i was like holy what else did i say i didn't really remember and i was like oh my god and so the the pod so So the story came out Saturday, and the podcast wasn't available until Tuesday. Oh, no. Wait, they pre-gave it out to tease it.

Yeah, and by that time, all these people that hated me and wrote these awful things, they didn't go and look up Theo Vaughn and find the podcast. Like, it's over with. No, they weren't. And I just didn't know how to react to it, and I was so scared to do any interview after that that I was like, I'll just explain on my own podcast. What happened? It didn't come out until that Thursday.

So for like six days, it was horrible. And then, you know, and then she said these things that weren't true that I had told stories about her in the tabloids when Howard Stern asked her about it. I don't know why to this day, why she said that, but it wasn't true. And, you know, since it's, it's died down. But at that time I was like, if I had money, real money, I would just quit the business. I was like, absolutely. This is the worst week of my life.

Like I, it was about two weeks of like the worst experience. And then it was like – and then the main thing was you're ungrateful, you're lame, no one would know you or your chipmunk face without the show. I mean it was just like – and I was like – People get so crazy. Yeah, it was really – but now like six months later, I mean I feel like everything happened that way because of that awful experience is why I literally like a week, two weeks later, I had a guest cancel on the show. and I do the show by myself, G.C. Scoop, and I go,

you know what? I've had this story about my crazy sister that's pretty intense where she's said awful lies about my husband and I and threatened to like ruin us and I'm all,

you know what? I'm going to get the story out first and I'm going to get it from my perspective so that nobody can then later on, you know, who knows, tell some story

or hear some awful thing and I'm like, and it's the one thing in my life that I wasn't on it. Like I didn't share, I didn't really share in my books about it. I didn't really joke about it in my standup. I didn't really, and it was all like surrounding, you know, the last couple of years of both my parents dying with this whole thing.

And now it's like, now I feel like my audience really knows me. On the flip side of that, what has been your ish moment in Hollywood? What is the moment where you thought, hot damn, I came here with a dream. I have done it. I am the shiz. I'm the ish. Definitely taping my special that I did. It premiered August of 2014, but they play it all the time on Showtime, and it's available on Netflix.

And I think for any stand-up, that's always been, like, your dream. And I used to watch all the specials, like, in my 20s with my friends. And then there was a time where I didn't do stand-up for, like, seven years in my 30s. I didn't do it until I – really until, like, about a year before Chelsea Lately. I just kind of wasn't doing it. I was, like, still auditioning and writing and, like, having babies. But I didn't really miss it because I never got to a level that I was, like, touring or anything. and then I started to do it again and I was like okay well I don't think I'll ever have a special

like I I just don't do it enough to get this hour together and so then to actually have it happen I was like wow this is like this is the moment that you dreamed about that can happen and you know yeah that that was really great I mean I hope to have another I don't have plans to do another but I think I definitely could yeah and um but just to know that I had the one was like really that was totally the best were you so nervous no because i was it was being taped and i was doing it twice so the first is that how they do it they do it twice some people only do it once i mean it costs more to do it twice yeah did you have different audiences oh yeah okay yeah but i went much faster i speak fast anyway i've gotten better over the years but so when i finished the

first one the director's like that was really good but you're like you know six or seven minutes short and i was like so then i was like gone and i could do it again and literally we probably used 95 from the second one thank god because i mean but even since i've taped it like i'm so much more i i get more and more relaxed with stand-up like i thought that's the pinnacle it'll never get better than that and like i think my stand-up is totally better now than my special because it's like a type of it's just something that you just consecutively get better at are you surprised that Angelina Jolie doesn't have a publicist after what you went through with that one word of an interview going out to the headlines? Like it always blows my mind that

she doesn't have a publicist. Like if you want to interview Angelina Jolie, you have to like literally write this email and it like goes to her. Like Bill Murray. Well, he doesn't have a publicist either. I don't think, I think that that makes perfect sense. I mean, I've worked with publicists and they've all been really nice but it's like again with what went down like my initial instinct was right transitioning to a funner topic please tell me everything about chris jenner because i'm i know you're friends with her i'm obsessed with her checker floor in her house yes and i think she's the ultimate boss like people are like oh my can't my favorite kardashian kim or chloe chris yeah 100 so a how did you become friends and b what is the advice

she's given you in your life that you can pass along to us mere mortals well i became friends with her because it leaked more than a decade ago your sex tape leaked and she helped you the contract yes that's how anybody becomes your makeup artist for the sex tape no i i was friends with jillian barbary oh yeah and she was doing the one season only of skating with celebrities and so we went chris jenner was on skaters so jillian bruce was bruce and jill were amazing different stars with different professional skaters pull that out of the vault right now yeah and so we went to the tapings and you know i would i would see chris and all the girls and they were just like chilling eating candy and watching it and then um and then chris was going

to have like a viewing party and said told jillian she could invite her friends so we go to this other house in calabasas which wasn't the one with the checker floor no this was before her house with the white picket fence this was this other house in calabasas and kylie and kendall were very little and so then then we just sort of became friends and then like gee you know they had their baby store and my kids were babies at the time. So I'd go to the store, you know, and then, and then many years later, my best friend, since I was in first grade, started working with Kendall and Kylie. And so, so we're all kind of friends together, you know, so it's like the girl nights and all that stuff. But then I think the advice that I

got from her is just, you know, make lemonade out of lemons. And I think like this past year sort of proved, even though I don't think it was, I didn't, not until like, not until just recently did I go, okay, everything did happen the way it was supposed to happen. Very interesting though. I will say something I noticed about the Kardashians, they don't talk about other celebrities. Like when you interview them or you ask them, like they won't say, oh, I love watching the housewives or I love, they will not fuel anything that's not within the circle. Like Kim will talk about Khloe, Khloe will talk about Kendall, but they won't ever bring in a third party celebrity i love this about them i think that is smart it's so smart i give anybody else

any more press give it to your own keep it in the fan yeah yeah you know and that happened to me too when someone said what do you think you know what do you think of caitlyn jenner and i just i said i think she looks great i think people are being too hard on chris yeah like when it first happened it was like this way to attack chris somehow and i'm like why is chris being attacked you know and why i don't get by celebrating caitlin somehow you think and so then of course that thing came out and it was like bff says it was you know caitlin's fault or something you know i like i remember when like you know the whole thing came down with kim getting divorced after the 72 days and they asked me because i went to the wedding and i said um i respect her i'm like i have friends

that knew as they walked down the aisle it was wrong and they stayed 10 years and i'm like and She's 31 years old, and she wants to have kids, and she probably realized, I'm not going to have kids with this guy, so I'm not going to stretch it. So if she would have stayed a year, people would have hated her less. I'm like, I don't – so I say that, and then – Woof, and then it's everywhere. No, but then it's – but I think I'm saying – and I do – I never heard anything negative, but then I got a concern because I'm like, oh my God, I think they think,

the Kardashians think that I'm using our friendship to get my name in a magazine, and I'm not, yeah, they're asking me and I'm saying something positive, but at the same time I'm like, it's probably just better not to comment on anything. But then if you don't comment, they'll take your non-comment as a comment. Right. Well then it's like, yeah. And it's really hard because especially when you have a friend that's in the limelight that's going through something, they're not saying anything cause they're hiding.

They're in hide mode. Right. Yeah. And the other person is probably being very boisterous and you're trying to defend your person to be like, okay, I'll be the voice for you. No, she's great. Or she's happy or she's strong. and then you get raked for it.

So it's like, it's kind of a difficult thing. You're listening to The Lady Gang. We want to have a little fun with you. We've prepared something based on your podcast. Okay. Because of course, Heather's podcast is called Juicy Scoop, which you can listen to in the one hour a week you're not listening to Lady Gang.

And this is the scoop or poop quiz. Okay. So scoop is Heather approved. Okay. poop is can't do it don't want it like think about the poop emoji okay okay here we go all right colored eyeliner scoop or poop poop like a blue eyeliner on the top like i'm wearing right now no i'm just kidding no you know what you haven't forgotten i think there's a little bit of blue underneath or something and i put brown underneath yeah but i think when it's like a like a painted

light blue or a purple like a funky yeah sometimes it's like people have a funky look but it's not for me i agree poop i think on some people it works definitely not for me poop okay scoop or poop lindsey lohan being sort of normal now scoop i'm into it i met lindsey a couple times and i think she really would like to be normal i don't know who she's gonna end up with her and she's got the billionaire does she have a new billionaire she's engaged right i think so allegedly well like two years ago she was kind of engaged to a different billionaire that had kids i mean at least she's finding these at least she's listening to her advice i know i say just tell everyone to marry billionaires i agree right fuck it working is way hard oh my god go for it like come on live

for her but um you know what i don't think she's ever gonna come back and be normal she was because we got emma stone once we got emma stone we're like why are we chasing this redhead anymore like honestly so i just kind of think like you know me and i honestly think she became a star because she was that kid that had a deep raspy voice you might notice so many actresses if they have a deep enough voice work yeah it's about their voice it's not even really their acting it's like a scratchy voice or like because it's so angie harman is like a model but she can play like a you know a tough cop she has a deep voice she's like hey you know what becca you should pay asshole get in the corner yeah you know like why is that like why is it just because you have a

deep voice you can be a lesbian definitely doesn't have uh the voice going for her i like jennifer anderson's voice um good voice it's but it's not like a soothing like a you know she's never gonna be a cop jennifer anderson yeah i think she maybe was a cop one time she was never a cop really i I don't think she could be as tall. The best Jennifer Aniston is Marla and me, Jennifer Aniston. Okay, let's get back to the quiz. Here we go. Scoop or poop?

Wedge sneakers. Ew. For me, they're poop because I'm tall. But for little people, not like little, like... Like Becca Tobin. Yeah, like a little person, it does look kind of cute. Like when Kyle Richards wears it to a sporting event because she's so little and she needs a heel but she doesn't want to wear a heel, I totally get that there's a market for it.

So I'm going to say scoop. It's just not for me. Okay. Becca? Because I'm tall. I'm going to say poop. Okay. even as a short person person i just think they're so you look like you're in like a girl

group i don't think they make i don't know i don't know okay i'm gonna say poop because i don't even believe in a sneaker okay um next uh scooper poop uh jamie lynn spears making a comeback she's got a tlc show she's a country music artist jamie lynn is she is she a good country music artist i think she has some nice major major scoop one of the best memories i have from chelsea lately is the day we found out that she was pregnant 16 it was like oh my god and we actually shot this thing where everybody in the office was going crazy like oh my god and like and you remember britney didn't even believe it like someone said it to her like your sister's pregnant it's like what i mean anyways she was on zoe 101 baby she's on the disney show now

she got married to somebody else not the dad yeah and she was on this zoe 101 on disney really bad actress she was not good well honestly so i mean it's amazing so she's coming back with what she's another show she's on tlc and it's a docu-series about her comeback i think you have to have a well i think it could be i think it's a good comeback because it's like her and you know they probably you know they're those type of things like yes i promise that britney will appear a few times i mean remember living lohan oh my god but then like then you know like all of a sudden lindsey's like i'm not doing this and then like you just hear like lindsey calling like Hey, what's up?

I feel like I'm doing this. Hold on. Can I tell you a great Lindsay Lohan scoop, actually? Yes. Okay. So Dina Lohan, the mom, she always, people are always like, what did you do? Like, what's your job? And she always says she was a Radio City Rockette.

She wasn't. She always says she was a Radio City Rockette. Like, former Rockette. Yeah. I feel like they talk about it all the time. Did you do your research and she wasn't? Well, I was a Radio City Rockette. And there's an archive of every Rockette that's ever been.

She's never been a Radio City Rockette. But she went to the Radio City Rockettes summer camp when she was a kid. Oh, God. That's incredible. Wait, did nobody ever call her out on it? Well, who cares enough to do the research other than Chelsea? Yeah, I guess I don't care. Investigative report.

No, I'm just mad because it's kind of hard to be a Rockette. I'm just saying the auditions are pretty intense. They are. Yeah. So you're a dick, Dina, for fake Rockette-ing. Anyway, okay. That's kind of the way I'd feel about groundlings. I don't care anymore, but when people say I was a groundling or I was in groundlings,

and it's like taking one class does not mean you're a groundling and I never even said I'm a groundling because technically I wasn't. I was in Sunday Show for two years and I would always say that. I was in Sunday Show for two years. They usually don't let anyone be in that long but nobody, all these people wouldn't give up their spot so there was like a

bunch of us and then they cut a bunch of us and that was another thing that seemed super devastating that I think like was probably a very good thing for me because I think I was so happy doing that that I would have been, I would stayed forever just like chelsea lately like when chelsea decides she didn't want to do the show anymore like i was sad and there's been ups and downs of the year being like it being over but

the same time like today i'm like no that was really good because i would have stayed forever and there was nothing more i could do there yeah being like a writer you would have died on a panel lately yeah and then or would have been like oh now you're too old to be on e we need to you're just gonna go back be a writer we can't feature you anymore like which i think was starting to happen because i was on it less towards the end so i was kind of like but i wouldn't have quit such a fun job right so it's like sometimes those things are meant to be blessings and on that note scooper poop um people who do newborn style photo shoots with pets wait what you know how when someone has a new kitty or a puppy and they've been like wrapping

them up and swaddling and like you know a new mom photo shoot where it's like a little baby that's scoop yeah be happy like that's your thing with pets i think that's fine let them do it If you're going to brag about your kid all the time, why not do – that's funny. I mean, Natasha Leggero did this photo for like one Christmas or something where she put her dog like Jesus and she was Mary. And like one time I was Mary and Chewy was Jesus. And like I just – I think that's funny. Like to me, I think it's scoop. I guess I'd rather see your animal than like your busted baby.

So scoop, Becca? Yeah, sure. I'm totally going to do it when I get a dog. I think it's totally cute. Scoop. Yeah. Next, scoop or poop? Yoga pants every day, all day as daily wear.

I'm going to say poop on that because I think that it starts to sort of change how you live your day. Ooh, deep. Like, I think you kind of need to, like, you know, I feel like get dressed, put on, like, you know, some normal clothes, get out, do a couple things. You'll just, like, feel more professional, even if you're not. Okay. So, poop?

I am a convert. I used to be a scoop, and now I'm a poop because I spent too many days in yoga pants, and I started feeling bad about myself. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to put on a jean, not even a heel, a jean denim on my body. And I did kind of feel like I could take on the world just in a jean. I feel like I just converted right now because I wear yoga pants almost every day. Well, let us know how your transition goes. I'm wearing a jean right now, so I've converted.

I think it's also a poop. I think that I agree 100% with Juicy Scoop. Also, can we just talk about how hard it sometimes is to find a yoga pant that does not give you a camel toe? That doesn't eat your vagina. That doesn't give you a camel toe. And I found a couple. I found two. Lululemon, but you have to ask for that.

It can't have the split up the crotch. It can't have the middle seam. It can't have the middle seam. No, it has the one seam. It has a patch over it. Camel toe cover. That's really good. And then I just did Flywheel, and they had some pants that did not give me a camel toe.

Interesting. I have a massive vagina, so everything gives me a camel toe, because I have a puffy vagina outer vulva. Okay, anyway. Last scooper poop. Are you guys ready? Yes. Ready.

Scooper poop. Boxer braids. Boxer braids? French braids. The girls that are doing the two. Oh, that do the outside, like Kim. Here's the thing. I went to like a braid.

Tell us the thing, Heather. A braid party or whatever. What? Sounds awful. And they did like, well, it was like recently. No, it was like somebody's daughter. Were you at Coachella? No, there's some, like, braid Instagram, and they're like, they've got a million people

coming in for a braid. No, it's for, like, 20-somethings. And, you know what? It's just the braid doesn't look very good on me. I think braids have to be for someone really young. I think you've got to be under, like, 25 to rock a braid. You can't have braids and Botox. Yeah.

Good one. Thank you. Tweet that out. That's my meme. I kind of think that's kind of true. It is. It's true. But none of my friends are doing braids.

Like, I just don't. So... Yeah. Um, but like on Kim, I think it looks really cute. Like when she and North both do it, I think when you have a perfect face, I think you can do these braids, boxer braids. Um, not on my potato face. You don't have a potato face, but I kind of feel the same.

Like I have like kind of a round or like not a super chiseled face. And I do feel like it'd be a little bit more angular or something. Yeah. Like it's cause it's like tight on your face. Like I need like fluffy hair. I need my hair. Yeah. Yeah. On that note, Heather is sticking around because she's going to help us answer our

isolating questions. And this woman has lived her life. So she's got some good advice for you in one second. Okay. Hello, I'm Rabia Chaudhry. I invite you to join me every Tuesday for new episodes of Nighty Night Bedtime Stories to keep you awake now on podcast one. This new incarnation of Nighty Night is an anthology of stories that bring to life classic horror stories. Some you're definitely familiar with and others you'll be hearing for the first time join me as i tuck you into bed with stories that will leave you sleepless all night long get new episodes of nighty night every tuesday wherever you get your podcasts ask the lady gang all right so for this part of our podcast you're going to help us answer

our listeners questions and give your best advice because you are wise beyond any of our ears. All right. So before we start, if you guys want to go to jackvanek.com, you can get 20% off your order with code lady gang. And I brought you some little presents from my clothing line. Awesome. Thank you. You're welcome. Okay. So our first question comes from Leanne and she says, I met a really cute guy on Tinder a while ago and we chatted every day for about three weeks. We talked about meeting each other multiple times and everything went really well until one day he just stopped answering i don't understand how he lost interest in me overnight why did everything go from being so awesome to absolute silence so first of all

it sounds to me like again this was a texting relationship text only relationship and that i talk about on my podcast with the three women dating the same guy that it was such a heavily text relationship and i think that's a very hard thing to really understand and you can read into it you cannot read into it the way you build a relationship is really talking in person preferably but definitely on the phone and i know the kids don't know how to talk on the phone anymore but like you've got to start talking the phone so i think forget it yeah he was probably texting with 17 people other girls and he did lose interest and you just have to let it go he doesn't want to you're not missing out the secret even met him yeah leanne i think here's

the deal when i was online dating that you you have to online date and then instantly really date yeah like you can't online date forever even if you're texting with someone like first thing in the morning last thing at night all day long well that's basically that's every catfish episode long intense relationships that never rarely that aren't even talking uh like on skype it's not even seeing the person it's not even talking on the phone well it's basically like a fantasy relationship you can pretend that that person is the most amazing person in the world but you don't know them if you're just texting them so tinder tinder tinder and then meet you got to meet within the first week yes find someone you like and get them to go out meet in person yeah you can't like

like prolong that or else it gets weird okay so our next question comes from rachel and she says i've been with my boyfriend for over four years and he is a wonderful man but recently i feel like the spark has kind of faded i can't tell if that's just him or just a challenge of a long-term relationship we've talked about sharing a future together and i can't imagine life without him how does the lady gang recommend keeping the spark ignited for life side note i've tried talking with him about it and he doesn't think that we have a spark issue which makes it hard for it makes it hard to have him try different things with me now you just got engaged how long were you dating before you got engaged uh a year and a half okay do you know that that's

the perfect amount for success really in a marriage yes really yes i did something right They've been doing new studies. I feel like. And they say that the marriages last if you date for like a year or so and then get engaged. And once you get engaged, you got to get married within two years of the engagement. Don't have this like five year engagement. Yeah. Don't.

And then because what happens when people are together for a long time is the spark does die. Yeah. But now they've invested four years. Yeah. They really shouldn't get married. They get married and then they're divorced in two years. and that's because it's that age they think that they should and they're like i spent this time and

i know this person's a good person but the the spark is gone and there's like a time limit on like going to the next step yeah yeah that's actually a really good point because i was going to say the spark always fades i mean it does it does it's like it's the reality i've been married 16 years it does there you go but i just had an amazing uh spike in interest how what'd you do did you like take ecstasy one night some molly no i um i i it's a really long story that i'll probably porn no i'm gonna probably use it in my stand-up for sure maybe i'll share it in the podcast but i searched for an old boyfriend that wasn't on social media oh and in in finding it it really made me happy i was with my husband i just yes today your explanation of why you're

happy you're with your husband which one was which when you were saying like because he didn't he want to be anonymous he didn't want to be found out that guy right and your whole stand-up act is your husband exactly so it would never worked out like so much since i found out more about this person i'm like oh my god like i'm like i can't even imagine what my life would have been like and there's so much more to the story that i just can't get into right here because it would take too long but like the things that i realized but yeah and you know and my friend that like helped me do the research was just like oh my god you are gonna do your husband tonight like you know and all all the reasons all the reasons why i broke up with him back when i was 20

now i remember but there was a time where i just you know i couldn't find him and i'm like if this guy was on facebook i would have seen his face i would have seen something he wrote i would have been like done yeah but because it was such a mystery i was like what is it yeah and i think um but i think that's you know so there it's it listen it's ebbs and flows you just can't let the the the ups and the downs you can't let the down go too long you can't let it go too long without bony you can't let a fight go too long yeah everything you just can't last too long because then it's really hard to get back into it i think boning is so important and like not letting it die not letting it die and also that's hard also i think the bet is that you really have

to be friends with your spouse and really have a good like we have a good um friendship and we laugh at the same stuff and like we you know like yesterday like we agreed to have this freaking cub scout party and then all of a sudden like an hour before the party my husband starts acting like a dick you know because it's like he's stressed out like ah okay you better put this away and he's like ordering the kids around and my son's like i didn't even want this cut scout party like i'm like well this is what we do we agree to have a party dad's a dick for about an hour and a half then he has a drink and we're glad we had the party but i'm like why do we agree to have the party so we can fight all day before the party like why are we doing this

like we thought we'd make no matter how many costco dishes and how you think it's going to be easy all of a sudden everyone is just an asshole before like the party comes and you're like why did we even agree to do this like so yeah there's all that you had kids too because i feel like that really makes your stand-up i mean yes i thank god i can exploit them and use thank god right i think yeah i think it's true it's you know there's a lot of single lady comedians out there and you know they're all funny but it's it's yeah what are you doing how much can you talk about okay dating go last question all right last question comes from sarah and she says i recently moved back to my hometown after college and one night a couple of weeks ago i ended up behind

an ex-boyfriend at a drive-thru he messaged me later that day and a few days later we met up kind of late at night and ended up hooking up in the back of his car good i'm so embarrassed because i've never done anything like that ever which you shouldn't be embarrassed about wait what wait it's not done what stood out to me though was that he had a condom in his pocket Should I be offended or flattered that he was pretty sure that something was going to happen between us? You should be flattered. You're the queen of the blue ball.

Tell her. Listen, if I could go back, I would screw everything. It is so horny watching The Bachelorette. And that was another thing. In watching The Bachelorette and fantasizing about this ex-boyfriend, I don't know, I became like an old, dirty man. I'm like an old, dirty man. I'm just like, the thing is, I go,

i'm not worried if i was to run into this guy that i'd be attracted to him because the truth is i'm not that attracted to like guys in their late 40s right i'm not like i'm married to one like i like that one but like i'm gonna like screw around it's gonna be like a 22 year old shirtless male model like like 30 like just like 30 and just yeah and i like watch that show and i it gets so horny you do yes because it's like every guy is just like like when she went around the corner after the pool party and she just did like a toddler jump like how i love in the bachelor how they only pick girls that are small enough to be carried like a toddler you know and i mean i've never been carried by a toddler my whole life and i have bashed this franchise for

so long it kills me but i you know what i am now a supporter because they are supporting little people because i'm so sick of hollywood and the and like glorifying the gg hadid's who just like won the genetic lottery and they're six feet tall i walk red carpet it does not matter who puts me together who dresses me what i'm wearing doesn't matter i will never look like gg hadid or be celebrated like her because i'm a foot shorter so thank you the bachelor thank you this is the reason the gg hadid and that's all reality show instagram fame it is it's a time of our life I mean, she's beautiful or sister's beautiful or mom's beautiful, but it is, you know, it's just, it, they're just the it people.

I mean, it was, it was Cindy Crawford in my day. It just, it just happened. Another tall person. But to take it back to the question, I feel like this, oh, the girl screwing. Yeah. First of all, you have to have a lot of sex before you marry your person because you got to know what you like and what you don't like. And secondly, you should feel nice that you're having sex with a responsible person.

Like at least he's not a douchebag that's like But it was her ex-boyfriend so they'd already had sex Right? And if they hadn't I still think Good that you did it And also there's something like really sexy About backseat car sex Like that's fun and flirty It's so grease

It's so Titanic Yeah I don't understand What the problem is I wonder how old he is I always want to know how old our And also let's all live in the day Where we're not gonna don't worry about your number. I know there's like that whole woman thing of like, what's your

number? Is it under 10? Is it under five? Yeah. You can just lie about it forever. Like just have sex with people, learn what you like, learn what you don't like. And also I feel like you're young if you're having the sex in the back of a car, not in like someone's house that they own. And so it's like, just do it and have fun and make your memories. I do think that if you really do like someone and you think there's potential, I don't care how horny you are, if you could, if you could control your vagina, if you could just wait a date or two, it is in a guy's DNA, even in 2016, that you were a bit of a challenge and it'll make him like you a little more and you'll get to know each other.

And the tension of knowing, again, with the bachelorette, the fact that they couldn't kiss doing that yoga thing and then he couldn't take it anymore and he kissed her. That got me hot. That got me hot. It's like a tension thing. Yeah. It's like if it's so easy, if you're giving up anal on the first date, where do you go from there, girls?

Where do you go? You know, my rule was always that I didn't have sex with anyone that wasn't my official boyfriend. I mean, I think that's a classy way to be. I know that's like doesn't apply anymore. no i get it but like first of all if you meet the one or you think this one could be a potential relationship not marriage and you want to wait a little he doesn't have to know that you screwed two people in one day in vegas why does he have to know that no he never has to know that you

never tell him every day is a new day wipe the slate clean wipe your vagina clean and create who you are you doesn't have to know you just need a guy and be like i'm sorry like i just don't i know you get it right and left but i gotta know you a little bit better and believe me i'm worth the way i'm pristine i'm like super excited blue ball make out with him i love dry humping you're never gonna dry hump again once you do it once you do it and when you can feel that penis through the gene it is hot how it goes up yeah and it's just you can see it and it's just like pushing up against you at your car yeah i mean that's just like it's a magical moment you want to just throw that away and also you don't have to worry about the like um uti after you know uti you never

get a bladder infection you never drive you never have to tell the guy i have an early morning appointment but it's really just to go to cvs to get that morning after the itch cream that 10 day that monistat three oh my god wait before we go i have a great story about this so do i okay i gave this is god i hope no one's listening um everyone's listening i had a boyfriend once and i had a yeast infection and i had sex with him and i gave him a yeast infection on his penis that can happen it looks like herpes he had to come to me and he was like who else are you sleeping with i was like no one and we're like what are these red bumps i can and he went to the doctor and it was a yeast infection on a penis i raised that story okay i was first dating my fiance he will die by

the way i hope he's not listening i was first dating my fiance same situation and i had the little cream and i was like you know what and then he came into town like like unexpectedly and i was like i'm going to have sex like what am i going to tell him my excuse sorry i'm a little yeasty down there like absolutely not so i was like i gotta fix this bacon bread only head and yeast is is yeast is too much of fresh dick yeah it's uh yeah you will not once or like you'll never get another it's fresh dick and too much of it new semen anyways this is getting really disgusting but do you know so i'm in the shower and i'm like prepping and i'm like literally just trying to expel the monostat

at from inside of me and i look over and you know those squirt bottles that you put up your nose oh my god like a nasal yeah nasal rinse yeah you nasal rinsed your vagina i did i used the squirt bottle like a douche that's just like a douche yeah forgot to throw it away the nasal bottle my put it up his nose used it since i'm like that expelled yeast infection cream out of my vagina this has been a great episode becca and we're gonna end on that because there's nowhere else to go from yeast infection expelled this no um guys clearly heather's amazing and if you need more of her in your life which we know you do please download and listen subscribe to juicy scoop it's also on podcast one you can listen on itunes podcast one go to her website check her out

find out where she's doing stand up buy a ticket yes okay so i will be in st louis um thursday june 23rd through the 25th i'll be in lake tahoe at the loft theater on july 3rd uh i'm gonna be at Sally Tomatoes in Sonoma yeah get your life on July 29th I'm gonna I have lots of dates

it's all heathermcdonald.net I'm booking up like all through the end of the year so check it out make a note that I'm coming

to your city please come and enjoy yourself and also make sure to follow her on social media at heathermcdonald yes please

thank you also guys follow us too at the lady gang it's Becca Tobin at Jack Vanek at Kelty Knight submit your

ask the lady gang questions on our website theladygang.com Subscribe to our podcast, leave us a five-star review, and we love you so much. We will see you next Tuesday. Yay! Woo!

Yay! Woo! Join the Lady Gang every Tuesday at iTunes and at podcastone.com. That's podcastone.com. Thanks for listening.