LadyGang - Flashback Friday: Melissa Rivers

Episode Date: August 4, 2023

The actress, TV host, and equestrienne joins the Ladies this week to talk about her reign on the  game show circuit, aging less-than-subtly, and the art of Swedish Death Giving. Original Airdate: October 16, 2018 Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Osea: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code LADYGANG at OSEAMalibu.com  Hint: Find Hint Water at retail stores like Wal-Mart, Target, and Kroger OR use code LADYGANG at DrinkHint.com to get Hint for just $1 a bottle (with free shipping) when you order three cases! Progressive: Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 29 million drivers who trust Progressive!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Without the fans, there is none of this. Wednesday, August 9th. I'm so honored to be here. Baby, you're a rock star. America's biggest superfans meet their superstar idols. Yeah! And compete for a once-in-a-lifetime prize. That is correct!

I'm gonna take them through my new record song by song. You can pick a song, and we can sing it together on stage. And the title of ultimate superfan. It is up to you, America. Superfan. Superfan premieres Wednesday, August 9th on CBS and streaming on Paramount+. Superfan.

Hey, Lady Gang, welcome to Flashback Friday, where we bring some of our favorite Lady Gang episodes from the vault to you in the feed. We have over 600 episodes of this podcast, and whether you're an OG and you've heard this episode before, or you're a new listener and we're just bringing this up and you had no idea we had this person on our podcast, well, you're welcome. Small caveat here, we are an imperfect group of trio of ladies, and we've been podcasting for almost six and a half years. If something we said in this podcast doesn't align with Lady Gang 2020, please give us

grace. For instance, there was a period on Lady Gang where I was not into Taylor Swift. It was the reputation era. I wasn't feeling what she was begging, but now I'm like a Swifty again. And so I just don't want you to hold me to that because we're all growing and learning and our opinions change pretty much every day. Without further ado, welcome to Flashback Friday. Well, what is this?

Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse. Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. like hey i talk too much on the lady gang that's very true i don't even remember her yeah because

like we each have like our own little section and so she's like you need to do the intro and you always started with hello hello hello actually i'm the innovator you're the innovator god you're such a trendsetter kelty in the promos that they're playing on um e i hate how low energy i was when i said it like you're like hello hello hello and welcome to the lady gang hello hello and anytime i have to do voiceover stuff for the show they're like a little more energy i'm so monotone and i just don't even realize and it also just feels weird being high energy when you're trying to do something like that yeah but like kelsey's a pro at like high energy she also is literally a professional at doing that that is her job i guess you're right i could never get

notes i get notes sometimes where people are like you seem bored by this story can you do it again for real yeah there's been there's been times where they're like are you not bored by most of the stories no I'm not really I love pop culture so I'm not bored but I think like some are more exciting yeah sometimes like sometimes I am also on autopilot and I've trained myself that I cold read everything so like a lot of hosts will go through and they'll like look through all their scripts and read everything and then go in and track I just read it I don't know what's coming yeah like when you said you were a Nancy O'Dell yeah that was the best that was so good she was reading do we talk about this yet i don't think so we were doing our huge huge like e promo shoot

which by the way we haven't talked about on here i know we shouldn't when we talk about it on a quickie yeah so um we're doing this huge photo shoot and we're in this little like guest house of this house we've rented for the shoot and kelsey's like guys i need to go track which is essentially like sending voiceovers for et so she puts herself underneath a bed like literally eight blankets by the way this bed is disgusting there's like cats that have been living in that room that have not been cleaned in probably years there's like just probably feces underneath the blanket under the blanket and she's she's like you guys I just need you to be quiet like while we're getting our makeup done and she's like I need to do these I need to do these I need to

track so we keep hearing her and she's like will blah blah blah will Demi Lovato will like and it's like you know this like exciting whatever and she goes and from the entertainment newsroom i'm nancy odell no i'm not like there that is the definition of autopilot it was so funny because i say that so many times a day but it always says nancy but i haven't supposed to switch it to me yeah it was so funny we were dying anyway anyway okay time for time for long intro that was a long intro good week yes it is bad week oh no okay mine's quick okay i have recently started playing tennis this is my good week i love it it is the best time ever i've been taking lessons from a friend of a friend she's like a pro from the uk so she's so legit i'm

loving it i never thought i could enjoy something that wasn't making me money or it doesn't really make me skinny either like it's a good workout but it's a good workout are you sore in your back at all i get sore like in my arms after but it's not like i'm not gonna get skinny but like i didn't think i could find passion for something that didn't make me money or make me skinnier congrats becca your black heart is i really feel serena i love tennis i know i want to go with you and start taking lessons you're going we'll be like tennis pros i'm going next thursday morning if you want to join me oh i think i'll be here next thursday morning hell yeah yes yes i just want an outfit here's my you're an idiot um here's my bad week so um zach and i have like gotten into

like this like rhythm at home like with i clean the inside of the house and he cleans the outside of the house so when we have company come over i clean up inside he cleans out outside like the dog poop and the shit that falls from the trees because we're in the hills and like it gets filthy back there well i had to entertain last week and i had to attempt to do that on my own nope i i i actually started crying from frustration like i'm not kidding i had the blower in my hand and i was like i can't i can't do this and i was like i'm simply not getting divorced because i don't ever want to have to clean my backyard you want your backyard clean it's so hard so i don't have a backyard yeah i cried like it was it was super embarrassing okay champagne problems yeah go jack

i'll go my good week because i have a new word it is the f***ing i haven't done this one yet right know the funny thing is when your day is going too well and you don't trust it and some shit finally goes down someone tagged me in this did they yeah it's so good so you're like oh today what is it like playing on it's like the happening oh god reckoning yeah oh my god we're gonna sound so dumb right now but i also when i first read it thought it was the fappening which is my naked photos are on obviously your mind's gonna go straight there i was like that was the that was for your day yeah you probably were having a great day on the faffening probably had a good coffee that day walked your dog you're like today's gonna be great and then it's like no it's not

there it is things here did i ever say that i found out that my naked pictures were online when i was sitting next to my dad on the couch no yes i did you say anything yeah immediately i was like my whole body went numb oh yeah cold as it would hold sweat like the whole thing i walked outside i was at my sister's house visiting in atlanta walk outside call my manager i'm like is this real and he's like this is real so then i walk inside i was like dad please stay off the internet for the next 10 years nope until you die the internet is forever never go back it is forever yes what's your bad week bad week um i was at jersey mike's my favorite sandwich shop every bad week starts with jersey because i literally go there like but you have every

other day experiences stop going no i thought my other one was a good whatever guy in line behind you who just kept pushing against you oh yeah well it's like jersey mike's is like my house basically so i'm at jersey mike's getting a sandwich in between it was on one of our shoot days because we'd shoot like two segments we'd have an hour break in between them and like i literally only had this hour and i'm waiting in line it's a super long line there's this lady in front of me that's so annoying she gets to the front and then she starts asking all these questions about if the turkey is free range and if blah blah's organic i'm like what do you expect from jersey mike's it's a glorified subway like it's delicious but like i'm not going there

thinking that like any of this food is it's not quality so she's asking all these questions and then finally she's like you know what just give me tuna and he's like a tuna sandwich and she goes no a scoop of tuna and he's like well we don't really give like a scoop of tuna but okay like you want it in a bowl or whatever and she goes no i don't use plastic she put it in my hand out her hand with a napkin in it no asks for the scoop of tuna he gives it to her and she eats it out of her hand with a fork i am not kidding i mean you gotta respect her you know diligence to the cause what cause green the plastic green no i mean like the sea animals thank you lady but like weird but think about how much your hand smells after that i know but she should have that like reusable

plastic stuff yeah she just needs like a some kind of a tupperware to take with her i actually have an idea for lady gang for tv what i recently heard my friend who's shooting a movie she in chicago she has a no water bottle rule on set so she bought everybody their own little hydro flask oh i love that and they have like one like water dispenser situation i think we should do that i do too and hydro flasks make you drink so much more water yeah i love mine sorry pink hydro hydroflasks just talking about hydroflasks if you could send us some if we could get like pink lady gang hydroflasks it'd be so cute it'd be adorable okay put it on the lashed lashed um my good week is that i got an ipl photo facial is that why your skin looks so good right now

it's not good it's like falling off you you look amazing right now she does you really do really suits you. Yeah. I think I like a good, like pro for fall sleep really helps my beauty. You know what I mean? No, I was going to say that like your skin looks really good. Oh, sorry. Orly spoiler alert or Callie are in here. Um, no, uh, I got an IPL and it's been a long time since I got one. Cause you, it's unique. You can't go and you have a spray tan. And the girl that I go to shout out to Melissa, honest dermatology. I did pay full price for my IPL. So I'm just like, I'm just saying shout out for a full price, but she goes there. Like I'm like, burn the out of my skin. Like I don't want a shitty IPL that's going to be gone in two days. Like I want

a week worth of, I have to cover it up. And then I want to be a 22 year old, but like the IPL is such a great treatment. And I really think I wanted to tell the girls, like, if you invest in like one facial treatment, don't spend all your money on these creams and like facials and whatever like go get an ipl burn your age spots off i did my chest it's true it's such a good like i've never gotten it before the laser is like it's good it burns off all your imperfections your old scars from zits like redness broken capillaries like it's really whatever orally i will murder you murder you um okay so bad week oh no i'm scared no no no it's fine the worst thing happen to me kelsey loves to start something with no it's fine so i had like a stressful week

and i decided i was going to treat myself to a vanilla milkshake from fat burger oh that sounds delicious and it was so good until no you pooped your pants i didn't poop my pants but like i mean there's just a reason why i don't do large amounts of dairy and like that was it you know but like it was worth it at the time it's always it's worth it i want a big and i like didn't even get a small like i got a large and i sucked that thing down in 30 seconds and then 30 seconds later i was like yeah anyway i'm just letting you know that i had explosive diarrhea probably why i'm looking so good because you're skinny i'm just like it's all coming out of me i like did it it's like a it's like a fat burger cleanse you know what i mean i wish see when i like eat shitty food like

that it just sits in my body like a rock mine doesn't go through me i wish it did too bad i feel like that'd feel nice it's like a colonic speaking of colonics we're about to get our shit disturbed by a super famous woman we love her she's coming up next this lady gang episode is brought to you by osea and let me just tell you something i got a big box of osea products and i kept it and i was going to do like a big fancy unboxing for tiktok and then last night i was like having a celt down. I was like, I just need to like take a bath, calm down and do something really nice for myself. I opened my Osea package. Inside it was their bestsellers body care set. It's a little sort of mini travel of like the best products. There's the body butter. There's

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about your gambling or someone close to you please contact connects ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge bet mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGamingOntario. Okay, what's going on? Now, here's the lady gang. Our guest today is a red carpet staple, a New York Times best-selling author, producer, host, actor,

and didn't know this until I started researching, an expert horse rider. And I know there's a fancy word for this, equestrian, but I didn't even, I didn't think I was going to get it right, so I just put, like, I took it to a lowbrow place. You know, my life is lowbrow in reality, so I'm not worried.

she's used her powers for good appearing on competition shows on behalf of her favorite charities and most importantly she's maybe the best family feud player in the history of the game and in the past year she's opened up her life to us on her stunning instagram account full of decor fashion dogs and my favorite inspirational quotes thank you and we personally have a very odd connection that we're going to get to in a second but please welcome to the lady gang melissa rivers thank you thank you a lot we are in shock okay i don't first of all don't be and if my being here is this big of a deal like wow the bar is low it's a low bar this is a good yeah i think by the way i do i do think i may have been the best player ever on family foods

100 are you just good at games or yes like fasten your toes all of it and also um well i also think I literally like ripped into my cousin on TV you were some good TV girl so my cousin was just like being just and I love him with all my heart and soul like we adore each other

and Al Roker was hosting and he kept saying well Al so that would be that I turned around and I'm like shut up answer the question I'm moving the mic away because we've got Melissa Rivers here and she's going to tell us a story.

I love it. So then? Nothing. And I was just like, he was making up like the stupidest answer. I'm like, either answer the question

or move on. Like, I was so not playing the game. I was so, I was so not. Did you guys win? Yeah. Well,

they won like, and then you played another family. It was like, it was like a never ending streak. It was like, what do you win when you win family? It was money for charity.

Great. That's amazing. Yeah. It was really fun. It was a long time. It was a couple years ago. Yeah, it was a long time ago.

Well, it was at least five years ago, so. Well, Al. Well, Al. I'm like, shut up. I think the answer for this one. Well, Al, and I remember one of the questions was, what's the first thing you do if you get pulled over? And he was like, deny what you are doing. I'm like, are you a moron?

I'm like, call a lawyer. That's what you do. That wouldn't even be mine. I'd be like, cry. Okay. I've been crying all night. Put on lipstick. Put on lipstick.

Some gum and lipstick. Get the titties out. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God, you guys. I was so annoyed at them. So I have so many questions, but I think we should begin with our weird connection. I love your weird connection. I don't even know if you know this.

I don't want to be like, yeah, I'm so loud that I'm blowing at the mic. No, no, no, you're fine. So first of all, you were like a very good equestrian. Yes. Many, many, many eons ago. Well, when I was a child, I used to do acrobatics on the back of horses for fun. That's called? I was like six.

No, but it's got a specific name. Yes. Which is? I don't know. I wasn't that good. Vaulting. Vaulting. Vaulting.

I was doing flag. Did you do all the stuff where you do the dance on the horse? No, they do like poses. Yeah, I used to do that too. Yeah. Flag. Yes. Vaulting.

Anyway, I was okay. The only time I was ever in that position was when I was falling off. No. That's the only time I was in flag position. I'm flagging all the way to the ground. I'm flagging and going into, I'm flagging into lawn darts. So one of the things you might not know about me yet, although when you talk to Steve, he'll tell you, we'll get to that, we'll get into that in a second, but is that I like have

been trying to get famous for like my whole career. How long has your career been? Well, like 10 years of like interviewing celebrities. I basically want to be you. Basically, my mother went into labor on stage. Right. So, I've been basically trying to advance my career since then. Wow.

Just got you beat, Kelty. You know, you do have me beat. But this is why I love this. So, for the first, like, five years, six years I've been in Hollywood, I'd go to all the red carpets and, like, no one would know who I was, you know? And so, if I didn't have my own sign, like, holding up my own sign, like, hi, I'm Kelty and I'm here. That's genius. I feel like I need to do that. No.

No, you don't. Because Getty Images has thought that I am Melissa Rivers for, like, half of my career. I am so lucky because you are so skinny and cute. No. And I am, like, my body has morphed into middle-aged you. No. And there is nothing. I've taken on the shape of, like, my ancestors.

No. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I'm doing. Sabrina keeps saying, just accept it. I'm like, I can't. You're like, no, that's never going to happen. I spent my whole life fighting genetics and heritage, and I woke up one morning and I'm shaped like a middle-aged Russian or German Jew.

I don't know why. I suddenly have arms that look like my grandmother's. I'm like, what the fuck is this shit? It's awful. And it happened just like one day. You wake up one day, and it's like I'm working out, and I wake up in the morning, I'm like, how did I get cellulite overnight in a new spot? How could I have cellulite suddenly on my calf?

Oh my God. because i'm i'm like genetics it's real i've lost i've lost the battle see i always was really i was always really excited because i would be excited if they thought i was you no i was excited because i was like well a first i'll probably get press and a girl she's like b b i was like wow they must think that i'm like really well dressed because you have like amazing taste and you're always wearing gucci and i was like wearing a forever 21 dress on the red carpet and i was like oh yes honey I wish

I wish that like you've got like perfect skin and like a cute little profile and skinny legs and skinny arms and I'm now a middle aged

round Jew so round by the way I think I've actually even like gotten a bigger shoe size I feel like my feet are now officially

starting to spread no we have our knees are starting to sag and it's weird what's starting to sag the knees that's not the most bizarre first thing to go

my you're like no one told me to Botox this okay my elbows too so my elbows and now i've got this weird thing that i noticed the other day in the mirror when i bent she's opening i have this like weird little like this thing okay well that's crazy that it's called skin melissa it's not it's not skin that used to droop like that tighter yeah tighter no but the thighs and the knees like what the is happening all i have left are my abs and those are holding on by their fingernails like I was looking the other day

and I thought well if I have to go to I have an event I'm like crop top well what part of my body I'm like what part of my body can I still safely show honestly just wear a sack and cut a hole in the middle I'm like what can I show I'm like well I don't want to show my arms I don't want to show my legs above the knee my back is just you know now I have that weird like thing where when you turn when you twist and suddenly you catch it in the mirror you have like a thing here when you twist oh my god oh my god i was just in hawaii with my husband i was like take a picture of me like looking at the sunset and then i saw my like view of myself from behind and i was like what the did that happen i was like that is not the body i thought anyway then the third thing we have in

common is that your dear friend an old producer executive producer on fashion police is working with us as an executive producer on the lady gang tv show which is going to be on e so we and as my mother used to say never i'm going to give you a piece of advice about e and my mother used to say this all the time on the red carpet which was never forget you can't spell cheap without an e oh my god no comment from us about that so just so you know it's a wonderful place to work they are creative they will support you but they ain't gonna pay you but like what network does because i worked for one that won't i shall not name because i want them to hire me again none of them do but they're so networks are just yeah what works you make money off the money go

i don't know i netflix they're throwing money it's like they've got a trough and a trowel however they've not hurled any at me yeah but yeah someone's like someone's like they're basically giving everybody a show i'm like really but are they are they because we're here right now netflix show yeah exactly yeah it's crazy yeah but he's a wonder by the way he is a they truly are if they believe in a show yeah they believe in you and that's a wonderful thing and they believe in steve and they do you want to call can you call any of your other famous friends and ask them if they have any famous friends.

Yes, you do! I don't. I have one famous friend. Who is your most famous friend? Jay Moore. Okay. I mean, he's famous. We'll take him.

Call him right now. Just kidding. But literally, I can't think. Do I have any other famous friends? You have so many famous friends. No, I don't. You also have a lot of famous acquaintances and just don't consider yourself.

Well, no one who's number... Oh, we're getting confirmed. No one who's number I have in my phone. How about that? Do you just not care? No, like if I lost my phone, like it wouldn't matter like no one's number would be in there angelina's number's not in there but i've seen you out who do you snub at parties i don't care who your friends are no one

i run from people and in fear i love oh who are you afraid of um everyone um no i'm actually not afraid of a lot of people but i do have this horrible tendency to fangirl but that's so That's sweet. Who do you fangirl the most over? Well, the most embarrassing one was Peyton Manning. Oh, that's very random. Well, no, I'm a big football fan. Oh, okay.

And he is God. He's still playing. And I don't care what you say. He's better than Tom Brady. Peyton's the greatest. I can go into my whole litany of why. And I met him. and I went

oh yeah you were there for that too I met him and basically all I could muster was I'm you when I play Madden and it came out more like and then the next day

I got to meet him again and I was trying to apologize for my stupidity which still came out like like my son doesn't get to be you on that and i get to be you on them because he has to you're on the right i'm like and it was eric dane who i adored and over here literally came up and like took me by the shoulders and like turned to you and walked away like she's just a big fan and like walked me away oh my god i taught eric dane how to use a mystic tanning bed i just want to say

that he's really nice the nicest one of the nicest people i was like is he in love with me and And everyone's like, no, he's just that nice to everyone. He is that nice. God damn it. He's so nice. He got to watch me not once but twice because we were at a big event. It was actually the Indy 500, actually. And he watched me literally embarrass myself many a time.

And twice in a row. And apparently I made an impression because he remembered it when another mutual friend brought it up. Oh, shit. Stoker. But in a good way. No, it was, but something, like, I tend to, like, go, no, no, no. He's probably excited. He's like, who's your biggest celebrity fan?

And you're like, he's probably like Melissa Rivers. He probably loves that. He would, by the way. But literally, I'm like, I'm such a spaz. Yeah. We are, too. But that's probably endearing to people, because you're just like. I love it.

Yeah. Well, there's a lot of people I've known for a long time. And I think at one point, you think of yourself as friends, even though, like, I don't have their phone numbers. Right. like I always joke especially now because Haley Baldwin

is in the news so much my joke with Stephen Baldwin whenever I run into him and I haven't run into him in like two years or three years I always joke we go back so far

I knew you when you were still fun like that's great yeah that's true and he laughs oh my god

that's crazy like I found you and you know I knew you back then when we were still fun and there's a lot of us that have had that have long histories

just by the mere fact of we've all been around forever. No, but here's the thing. And we have histories because of that. Yeah. Because it was that whole sort of not early MTV, but that medium MTV kind of years. Yes.

And so all the 90210 guys and all these guys and that guy, it was just kind of the scene. Yeah. Oh, and when I was researching all your little bits about you during this, and then I went to the photos, I was like, is that Melissa Rivers in a sequin mini skirt with like

do you remember in that era how you just had a panel and it was a shirt and then it just tied like ties oh honey I wore all sorts of little you were living I wore a lot of leisure

I wore a lot of very small skirts I wore a lot of a lot of stuff on the red carpet and a lot of and not a lot of stuff on the red carpet But I didn't think of it as, I mean, it was also that time in your life. And there's a couple dresses I still have in our archives. There was a shirt I pulled out the other day.

And I'm like, it's like the size of a child's shirt. Did you just refer to your closets as archives? No, we have actual archives. Oh, my God, that would be amazing. Sorry, we actually have archives. But this is even crazier. Well, because my mother was such a huge fashionista. Right.

And there's so many, I hate to say important, but so many different pieces through the years that were either made for us or made for her or I ended up being allowed to keep the only sample and so we started keeping, because you don't keep everything

What does the archive look like? It looks like a closet but it's got cedar paneling Like how big? It depends. We took part of our storage area that we used to call the dungeon and cedar paneled it. Wow, that's awesome You know, and you put in shelves and you have to, like, fold, like, the bead and stuff a certain way so that it doesn't stretch.

But literally, we were, because I moved houses, so we were cleaning everything out and trying to decide, like, what's worth keeping. And literally, there was a shirt that was, like, this and had, like, three little straps across the back. And I swear to God, right now, it would be, like, this on me. One boob. One boob cover. When was I ever that small? Oh, jeez. I mean, it would look like a child size.

actually this leads me into my next question because um i've watched the documentary and i've read the books and i i do know that your mom kept everything she was like crazy about that um and so you know what what do you do with everything like that's a lot of history like well i mean can we open a museum like what are we doing well i've sold a lot but like all the jokes and all the cards people referring to we've digitized everything i still have the actual major card catalog we have a lot of stuff just sort of preserved

until I do know what I want to do with it even though it's been four years now so okay everybody wants the card catalog everybody wants the physical card catalog every museum and I keep thinking okay I'm ready to do this

and then do you remember the scene the last scene of the original Raiders of the Lost Ark and it's a huge warehouse and the Ark is in just like a crate and they slide it in the thing and it's that tracking shot all the way back yeah like i am so terrified that that's what's going to become of the joke file and like i can't because to me it's such like a living it's like a it's like a breathing living thing and i also know how pissed my mom would be because there would be no view and it would just be that would be it yeah she's

like really i worked my whole life to end up in an apartment with no view right like no no you know And I'm constantly looking up and looking for lightning. Yeah. Wow. Wow. This is incredible. So we have little by little. We did, obviously, a major sale when we did the big Christie sale.

I've donated a lot of her gowns to charities for auctions, you know, the LBGT community for different, you know, auction items or donations. So, you know, little by little. Well, I was going to ask you because I know this is like a little bit. And by the way, a lot of it was crap. Was she a hoarder? We like to call her a maximalist. Oh. I like that.

Rich people hoarding. Yeah. Wow. Maximalist. That is awesome. That's a good term. We're like at that age where, you know, my friend has like lost one of her parents and it's like, I just, you know, you just wonder like what to like, how, like any advice you

can give to like us women in their thirties and forties that are starting to have to do this kind of thing. Like, it's like, no one ever tells you what that's going to be. Going through everything is just horrible. What I've told my friends is do a first pass. Yeah. Okay? And do not feel like you have to get rid of a certain amount of stuff.

Then wait, like, another month and do another pass. Yeah. And you just have to sort of take your time through it because, you know, the first week you're like, I can never let go of this pen. And a month later you're like, why do I have this pen? Right. Totally. You know?

And you kind of have to just sort of work your way through it. But have you guys heard about this? It's called, I think it's in Sweden, where every year older people go. Is it in Sweden? It's got a specific name. Yes. It's called the death. Or it's called Swedish cleaning.

It's got a very specific. My mom just did this with her mom. Where you're supposed to go through all of your stuff like once a year or once every two years and start giving away all your things while you're alive. alive yep oh i guess it's called swedish death cleaning yes cleaning like you do it personally yes for yourself so then you're not leaving your children with a bunch of that shit right and it's that you want them to enjoy whatever it is while you're alive or you want them to and they say that it it's supposed to be like you know help your kids or whoever when you're gone because you've

already sort of dispersed of everything sorry i didn't mean to get to a morbid place but i have some you know what shivari chairs are those gold chairs yeah my mom had how many we had 32 because she had huge parties in her apartment and eventually it just bought them she just it was cheaper to buy them and just keep them so i'm getting rid of a bunch of shivari chairs great if anybody's interested if anyone needs some chairs for banquets maybe yeah i mean i mean you could have called me i would have given it damn it damn it damn it no i think there's like a rental business i think we might need those in here i think we need them for our show you might i might have to send you guys four chairs oh my god we'll take them gladly yeah we got these at walmart but

anyway so by the way it's true it's like my mom lived a life so where she entertained so much yeah at one point it's like just forget it buy them i love them yeah that's amazing um i say that to my dad though i'm like give me your money now so you can watch me enjoy it and what is his reaction he's like actually it's not a bad idea because that way you'll stop asking me yeah we didn't go casket shopping at the same time dad oh my god i'm just so morbid oh my god you did that sabrina's dad made her go oh casket shopping how many years ago it was a few years ago and i went i was like let's go holy shit no thank you this is a whole other podcast sabrina it had to be like 10 years ago what did he choose he was like he started picking out all this stuff this

whole lunches we're gonna do this so we're gonna do that it's like no we're not you're gonna be dead and you won't even know oh yeah oh my god she takes out a fan open that door kelty we'll get some air circulation okay on this on this happy conversation when we come back unless it's gonna fix your life oh my god that is that is yeah okay this is ask the lady gang so we have she's going to tell you okay so we have our listeners

writing questions and we give them pretty bad advice oh by the way I am all about oh can I plug my website yes

well we're going to but yes again maybe this is the best place to do it yeah let's do it what's your website MelissaRivers.com yeah

creative but okay so I have a thing on my website I'm just relaunching it we're like doing a soft launch cute not quite ready

but hopefully in the next week or two oh I'll post about it but I have a thing on there called Dear Diary cute

which is all about it has a warning on it that it's basically my inside voice is escaping and then i also have a ask mel yeah and i say i like giving advice but i cannot guarantee that it's good or helpful that's exactly how we are okay good so i'm good this is a warm-up this is a warm-up crazy questions well hopefully you guys will send me questions i mean we have so many oh yeah and also while you're saying that i'm gonna say it again at the end but you have such a beautiful instagram i could when we ran out of time i couldn't even get to like your decor and your fashion and like i just want to come over and eat tea on your comforter like drink tea but anyway you guys can follow melissa at melissa rivers official

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be with you 24 7 365 days a year so you're protected no matter what multitask right now quote your car insurance at progressive.com and join the over 29 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates national average 12-month savings of $698 by new customers surveyed who save with Progressive between June 2021 and May 2022. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. Without the fans, there is none of this. Wednesday, August 9th. I'm so honored to be here. America's biggest super fans meet their superstar idols and compete for a once-in-a-lifetime prize. that is correct i'm gonna take them through my new records all by song you can pick a song

and we can sing it together on stage and the title of ultimate superfan it is up to you america superfan premieres wednesday august 9th on cbs and streaming on paramount plus superfan hey ladies ask the lady gang um our first question comes from little sandy which i love tabinsky she says hey ladies so did you get it little sandy yeah those are our rap names little sandy's my rap name because i love sandwiches anyway okay not the beach what oh no little sandy short for sand literally sandwiches so embarrassing from greece i am from i'm greek there's no like sandy greece oh and danny i don't know how that has to be being

greek also greece is my favorite movie so that is a really sad reference for me not to get i make lots of bizarre connections and you know what we're just going to do a segment called help jack okay that's what we need today okay she says quite a few podcasts ago i remember becca saying that sometimes if you are suspicious enough you just have to grab your boyfriend's husband's phone and look through it okay recently i took that questionable advice and snooped through my boyfriend's instagram this led me to another question i need your help on how do i confirm my boyfriend about the messages i found on his phone without letting him know i went through it i don't want him to think i'm crazy but i definitely want to bring it up okay i have

some can i have some questions um okay number one why are you having to snoop on your boyfriend's instagram and you aren't just following and watching anyway that's just a basic but the dms she wants to look at who's messaging privately oh and then she found some shit well forget you know what you owe regardless if you do it deny oh but how does she bring it up without him knowing that she went through well you've got a lot of options there um you got hacks yeah you could say do you know so and so i've i've done that one before like hey do you know you know bippity boppity-boop because i got the strangest text from her yes but what if it's like some random girl like you know who i just started following and i think is so pretty like sammy sandwich yeah and

you're like and that's the girl yeah the bikini model he's been dming low-key yeah exactly oh then what if it's like no i don't well now you've been caught in a lie and then you can accuse him of being lying and it's lying and as soon as you say you're a liar and you can back it up they're back on their heels and like in you know earthquake preparedness position what i would do i'm there under the desk like this i'm so malicious i would take a screenshot of it and then i would just say the girl sent it to you take a screenshot send it to yourself and then say that the name out and be like i found out that you had a boyfriend or a girlfriend yes oh that's good ah that's good oh yeah that's your idea over there that's a good one that's the most that or take a screenshot and

Just save it. Yep. Just in case. And hold it. Yeah. And let it fester. No, no. Just hold it.

Just hold it till it's the right moment to attack. You'll know. And, like, I am so tempted to go through my boyfriend's texts and all that. And I think to myself, what? I haven't done it. Although I haven't done it, even though I do know his code. And I keep making him, he goes, you know what my code is. It's X, Y, Z, D.

And I'm like, it is? Oh, I don't know. And, like, pretend that I never remember. That you're cool, girl. That you're cool. Two, four, three. Right. And then, like, I totally know what it is.

But I've never actually done it because I don't, you know, I have enough anger and complaints that I don't need more. That's our new motto. I have enough anger and complaints that I don't need more. That's amazing. Yeah. I don't need. That's your message.

You know, I can get angry and frustrated, like, just by him existing. Yeah. I'm also in this weird place in my life where I never thought I'd be, where it's like, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. Don't ruin how good I'm feeling. Yeah. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance.

Yeah. Exactly. Like, I just want to feel happy and not, like, I don't want to find out bad information. Right. If you snoop, you're going to find something. And that's what she knew. She snooped and she found something. And how do you bring it up?

Well, you take the screenshot. No. Send it to yourself. You start with, honey, I have something I need to talk about with you. And he goes, what? And you go, I'm pregnant. And then he goes, what? And you go, ha ha, just kidding.

I found this. That's what you do. You do like a made up bait and switch. A bait and switch. Well, that's like a river's bait and switch. I heard that it was like a thing with someone who said about coming out to their parents. They went to their parents and said, I have to, I'm dying. And they were like hysterical and crying.

And he goes, just kidding. I'm not dying. Guess what? I'm gay. That's amazing. That's kind of great. Yeah. yeah that's kind of like what i do with you guys yeah i do i go i have the worst news yeah i'm like

our person canceled you're like don't do that yeah she's like i cannot believe this happened it's the worst thing in the world yeah into it okay you also have to go from the basis that men are intrinsically stupid yeah they are they are that's just the all end all yeah i have enough anger and complaints i don't need more how do i love it it's iconic okay second question doesn't have a name she says at my job i have multiple bosses and like any human being i get along with some better than others one weekend i was out on the road and one of my bosses who i'm closer with than most sorry i keep talking so close i get so close that i'm closer with the most essentially said that i have no personality and he's never seen me happy as someone who never takes shit

unless at work i and always speaks her mind i stood there silent and dumbfounded i didn't stand up for myself like i would have because as employees at this company we get evaluated every single project and i didn't want a bad review if i said what i was really thinking which was fuck him how would you deal with the situation that is in the coming weeks i'm newish to the lady gangs or blah blah anyways how you deal with somebody first of all is he right oh my god that's some truth you can't go to can you go to hr with that you have no personality and he's never seen me happy well here's the thing can you go to hr with that i don't probably I mean you could go to HR for anything

is that like a harassment not really is he like that kind of asshole guy smile it's not so bad, smile people just unsolicited advice have you ever had cramps thank you

let me put my hand in your uterus and just put it out of my vagina let me just take these two peering knives and shove them into the middle of your back and then smile Smile. Yeah.

Pretend there's two little hands holding onto your kidneys and think that they're your fallopian tubes and they're squeezing you. Smile. It's true. Sorry I don't look so happy today. I don't like it when girls get shit for not being, like, friendly and peppy. Like, not every girl is peppy. Some girls are taskmasters. Well, especially in a professional setting, it's not your job to be, like, bubbly and happy unless you're in sales or something.

But also, does this feel like a weird hit on? Well, he's negging her. yeah it's almost like you want to say like can you make me happy i mean i never know like no that's what i'm saying it's like you know show me your personality no yeah well she should maybe ask a friend that she works with and be like you can be honest with me in this room um i'm the meanest she's the mean one oh my god i think you're the nice one are you kidding me thank you so much oh my god that shows i mean i am an actress i'm acting that shows how i am next quote no because becca is the nice one i swear to god when you said well are you boring that's

no that's something that becca always like anytime somebody's like and my friend says i'm like are you well that's like me it's like do they have a point yeah check look in see look inward but also like ask your friend be like tell me the truth you won't hurt my feelings do you find that i'm unhappy to be around because sometimes people's energy if they're unhappy it is a little like Well, if it's like a sucking succubus energy, then that's one thing. You better be careful which of your friends that you ask. Because if you don't like the answer, then you don't have a friend anymore. Like, don't ask the friend who has the private plane.

Well, no. Exactly. Or the yacht. Oh, my God. We have so much fun in the Hamptons. What do you think of my personality? Don't ask them. Be like, I love you, and I don't care what you think of me.

Let's go to the Hamptons. Exactly. Maybe ask your yes-man friend. Let's just be careful. Or a friend that's expendable. no the friend at work your work friend someone you don't like that much that you don't even see outside of work yeah so if it's like you wouldn't go to their birthday party no we wouldn't we don't go to any birthday party no and if you were invited you'd be like yes we don't how do you

feel about adult birthday parties thank you yeah come back anytime yeah no but i mean like i like my friends and i like all go out for someone's birthday and we all go out to dinner or we all what about i'm not going to a roller skating party melissa don't even ask yeah it's just like Or your birthday week. First of all, that's bullshit. The birthday month. No. Birthday month, birthday week.

There are two types of women. Women who use the term birthday week and women who don't. I don't have any women in my life who use the term birthday week, nor will I ever. It is horrible. Yeah. Horrible. By the way, first of all, the only, like, when you're young, okay. Right.

Like, great. Right. When you're in high school. But even that's pressing it. Yeah, I never do. You get, like, 16. maybe after your sweet 16 you just give it up 18 yeah 21 21 and then you're done don't bother me yeah 21 and then 40 40 sure you know but it's like you know just also don't invite me to a

birthday dinner for your birthday and make me pay for you that's to me always questionable though because like all like i have a birthday dinner coming up for one of my friends and i know we are all going to pay for ourselves and include her. Like, that to me makes sense. Did she plan it? Yeah. No. Or were you like, no, I think if you're taking your friends out for dinner,

if she, like, calls you and she's like, I want to go out for my birthday on Saturday night, and she makes the reservation, she picks where you're going, she better treat herself. Right, no. No, no, no, no, no. This is like, oh, it's her birthday, we're all going out for dinner. Yeah, if it was your idea, then I think, yeah.

In a close-knit group of friends, that's okay, too. But it's like, I've been invited to the most random birthday dinners. I don't even know you. and you end up paying well i don't go if there's not good parking well that that's kind of like my litmus test you guys are actually the same i'm sorry she didn't show her true colors but she's like literally becca's making notes she's like i don't go seriously think about like is it worth the parking hassle no that tells you right now where that friend ranks in your life that's true wow i uber everywhere and i still would be like absolutely not for most people yeah no i believe

I mean I don't like leaving my house particularly well I wouldn't want to leave your house either have you seen it on Instagram

oh my god now with Postmates and they have liquor stores that now deliver on Postmates and they have frozen yogurt

I'm gonna be like those parents the grandparents on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where like I'm just in bed for the rest of my life

my boyfriend and I had a big fight and he's like you're gonna end up alone and laying by cause I like to like hole up in my bedroom like I'm in my bedroom

I don't need to go sit in my family room like I'm happy in my bedroom he's like you're gonna end up an old lady laying in this bed by herself and i was so good i hope so i looked at my go i can't wait bye bye wait oh my god okay last question uh she says my boyfriend of six years told me

earlier this year that we were going to get engaged later this summer we've always been strong emotionally and mentally however within the last couple of months i realized that he doesn't appear to have any interest in me he does not seem to be attracted to me physically he never calls me beautiful we stopped having sex we barely even make out instead of moving forward in this relationship with him saying he was going to propose i almost feel like we took 10 steps back because of his recent actions this is the worst what are your thoughts you already broke up yeah i mean it's over he's out it's over he's he's panicked yeah and can't commit this is not your man don't try to save it not your man not your man and the timing of life is very important

it could be you don't want to have sex with your boyfriend i was just gonna say that we do talk a lot about that yeah but it should only be on your terms i'm the one who says no to you right if you're refusing me then there's something wrong yeah there's a problem there's a problem like yeah so he shouldn't be the one no it should be i'm tired we we decide when sex is boring color of the pussy well also it's like seriously can you just get your arm off my hair oh my god off my hair how could you not figure that out by now you know you like really lose it like the romance is gone when you find that you can actually roll your eyes during sex oh my god yes roll your god or when you or when you have the thoughts of like

isn't he done yet oh my god can we be done like oh yeah i want to go and watch nap fly go to sleep already i want to go watch my show oh my god i have enough anger and complaints i don't need more god i love it wait i have a question before we sign off wait does anyone else have kids no kidless that's our next podcast baby gang i bet we're gonna make money off every Every day of my life, I just think of morags dying. Like, it's just as I get older. You can hear them. I can hear them.

They're just popping. They're just like, bye. Bye. They're like molding. They're like, boop, boop. I could have been a baby, but I'm not. Boop. Boop.

That's exactly what I hear. Well, no, because I have a teenager, so. How old? You guys are going to, you're going to die since they always think they confuse you with me. My son is 17. How's that? So awful. Is he having sex?

No. He is a high school senior. we're going through well don't say that on well no I mean okay not that I'm aware of he's so cool though

not that she's aware of not that I'm aware of yeah he is he's a senior he's a senior he probably definitely is is he a punk no he's a sweetheart

but I still hate him because he's a teenager teenagers are just like I always say about teenagers they're really like a subhuman species

it's so true it's like they're not it's like they've regressed it's like reverse Darwinism for a few years yeah

oh my god it's bizarre and if he's having sex I don't know if he is and he's listening which if he's listening to Lady Gang

I'm a little bit concerned just baffled we have lots of male listeners no we don't I literally got an email from one today alright

well I said you know he said I heard Kelty on Adam Carolla she seemed interesting so I listened to Lady Gang I learned a lot about women weird

weird I was like you're gonna ask me for a picture of my feet next yeah so but my son is hilarious And we're very close And he's still a teenager

And it's just like It's a whole different It's living With like Do you remember Has anyone ever watched The original Invasion of the Body Snatchers

No Okay So the very original one They do this thing Where they Like when they see The one that's a real person They make this horrible noise

And that's what I feel like I'm living with Like it looks like my son It's not him But he's gonna turn around And go Like you know Like I'm convinced

that's what's happening in my life oh my god by the way and I have a good one and an easy one so when you guys get to that point

and it's still that bad they just but we were all that bad oh yeah 100% we were all I'm still bad so like

okay just the last story so I went online and I thought I was so cool and I bought a belt from Off-White cute it's like the cool brand

right yeah so I'm leaving a house and he says to me is that an Off-White belt I said yeah and he like rolls his eyes at me i'm like did i already miss like how could i miss the trend i just got this off moda operandi operandi which is by the way the best site ever because

you know you can use your amazon password to check out yeah you don't even think no scary that is terrifying you can check out through amazon so you don't even have to take the credit card out it's genius that's a whole step gone and i literally he looks at he goes i just got it he's like i'm like what is it i mean he goes well and i'm like what does that mean he goes aren't you a little old for off-white ouch and i'm like uh no and he goes okay i admit it i just really wanted off-white belt can i have your belt no you don't get to insult me and then take my belt exactly you don't get to insult me

like when he lost my travel pillow you used to do that to your mom all the time he lost my favorite travel pillow anyway that was like a big argument why do you have a travel pillow because I travel and it's actually a travel blanket oh it's an actual I was thinking of a neck blanket

no no it's a blanket and then I pictured you in economy wearing a neck pillow it's one of those in her off white belt it's fancy And then you've got the blanket inside. I spent all my money on my belt. You've got the blanket inside.

And then what I do is I use the blanket, but then I take the gross airplane pillow and shove it in the cover. So smart. So he was going on a trip, so I gave it to him. And somehow he managed to lose the... Of course. Yeah. And I got the... I brought it home.

Obviously, you did not. No. Yes, I did. No, you didn't. What have we learned? Don't give him the belt. Yeah, I'm not giving him the belt. He does not get my off-white belt.

Because you know what? I still get to wear my off-white though I am that cool still well I'm happy to be your twin in horse riding, executive producers and Getty Images we can't believe you came thank you for spending an hour with us

and everyone please go follow Melissa Rivers Official or head on over to the brand new site MelissaRivers.com you can write her your questions you can find out things you're going to link to all the shopping we need to do I'm always doing my picks

I'm always putting up good articles. We love that. I try all these products. I only put the ones up I like. Boom. And on that note, follow us at The Lady Gang. And don't forget to follow our new e-television show handle, Lady Gang TV or is it The Lady Gang TV? Lady Gang TV.

Lady Gang TV. Oh, my God. I'm so embarrassed. Okay. On that note, see you next Tuesday. Yay! Woo! Yay!

Woo! Join the Lady Gang every Tuesday at iTunes and at PodcastOne.com. That's PodcastONE.com. Thanks for listening.