LadyGang - FLASHBACK FRIDAY: Stassi Schroeder

Episode Date: April 7, 2023

Stassi Schroeder of Vanderpump Rules explains why she quit, and then rejoined the show. She's also talking about her relationship with Jax, who's sleeping with James, and if she'd ever entertain doing her own reality TV spin-off! Plus, hear her thoughts on living through Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, why she's "stalking" Kate Hudson, and why she hates the word "relevant." Original Air Date: January 19, 2016See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We have over 600 episodes of this podcast, and whether you're an OG and you've heard this episode before or you're a new listener and we're just bringing this up and you had no idea we had this person on our podcast, well, you're welcome. Small caveat here. We are an imperfect group of trio of ladies, and we've been podcasting for almost six and a half years.

If something we said in this podcast doesn't align, with Lady Gang 2020. Please give us grace. For instance, there was a period on Lady Gang where I was not into Taylor Swift. It was the reputation era. I wasn't feeling what she was begging, but now I'm like a Swifty again. And so I just don't want you to hold me to that because we're all growing and learning and our opinions change pretty much every day. Without further ado, welcome to Flashback Friday. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Fempire. That's amazing. Say that again. The Fempire. Things are about to change around here. It's time to catch up with the girl gang.

Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Honestly, guys, 2016 is amazing. I'm just saying, this year so far has been the bees McNeese. The bees McNeese? McNeese. Is that a new thing? It is new for 2016. I want to thank everyone and say hey, and thanks for joining the Fempire Podcast.

We're so excited to be here, and honestly, we're just having the time of our lives making this podcast, and it's so great that you're listening to us on podcastone.com, that you're going to iTunes, that you're leaving us a five-star review, and that you're subscribing because what's happening is that people are listening to an episode, and then three weeks later, they're like, oh, there's another one? Yes, bitches. There's one every Tuesday. You get a new episode of the FemPyre Podcast, so subscribe, and then it'll automatically

come to your podcast on your little smartphone, and it'll be awesome. And follow us on at FemPyre Podcast on Instagram because Jack has been posting redonkulous photos of her bangs, and it's amazing, and who doesn't want to see that on their feed? When everyone's taking selfies, we just post very embarrassing things about ourselves. So, on that note, we're very excited about our guest, who's coming up in a minute, minute, minute. But, Becca, what should we start with? Okay, it is time for... Good Week.

Yes, it is. Bad Week. Oh, no. Okay, to kick off Good Week, Bad Week, I'm going to start this week. I will never start. I love this. I'm looking up something on my phone currently because it's part of my Good Week, but I think I'm actually going to start with Bad Week. Oh, no.

I was wondering why you're on your phone. I'm like, Becca just doesn't care anymore. I just I've given up I'm over it I'm on tinder no I'm just kidding um okay so I promised myself I wouldn't go online and like read our reviews right oh god oh that's Kelty's job um so I got I got on there and I found myself reading some reviews and um there was one that was like a little bit upsetting to me and it was hosts are trying way too hard to be relevant oh yeah I saw that one there's a couple not great ones but i just have something to say to you kitty cat 69 that's not her name i'm protecting her identity even though i shouldn't but everybody can go find

it okay if you may be right if by relevant you mean like succeeding in this industry sure and you know what i'm sorry if you had told the 18 year old becca that by going to school for singing and dancing later on in life the only way that you could be relevant is to like make a sex tape with ray j or start a podcast i think that it's kind of rude that you are you know bagging on our hustle yeah i don't come to your office and yell at you for trying to just make a buck so please don't come into my space and you know champagne drinking yeah this girl with a shitty education has no other like tools and or skills so like yes i'm trying to be relevant and i'm sorry also i had an instagram picture that had 782 likes so who's relevant now bitches that would

be like my worst instagram picture hey jack shut up okay so that was the bone i had to pick listen guys if you want to go on there and like talk shit fine but i'm gonna bring it up on the podcast and we're gonna say your name next time and i'm gonna make fun of you what are you doing with your life huh i wish there was a link that we could like go to them yeah right okay but here's my good week okay we have some really fun fans out there who tweet us all the time i love it so much it makes getting shit talked on the internet worth it so these two girls sent me a screenshot did you guys get this what a screenshot of their conversation texting with each other oh my god wait was it their good week bad week no it was them talking about one of our episodes and how

we were talking about placenta yeah with leah michelle we were talking about eating your placenta so these girls are going back and forth they sent me the whole conversation on twitter and this one girl writes that's so nasty did you guys know it's said that if you make your significant other eat slash drink your period blood he'll be in love with you for like ever i think you just put it in their spaghetti or something oh my god wait who said wait but like who said this like a scientist no fans i know but who said i don't know someone someone's teaching them these things i don't know but i just really really appreciate i think her name is tamera and her saying she's gonna put it in their spaghetti tamera you need to write us and let

us know how this spaghetti situation turns out it's so good i mean that's disgusting but that was my good week it really really no we do have pretty much the best fans ever like the tweets and them following along oh it's amazing they're so happy everybody is as funny as us which is like that's a thing it kind of makes me sad it's rare we're funnier than everybody else but i maybe we're not really no no maybe we're not that funny okay kelty um should we ask jack about her interesting oh damn it yeah damn it you do should i go first so we end on jack i don't know no i want to get into the jack juice do you want to ask me questions what's your good week no good week bad week okay well so my good week is basically that i am not the token single girl

in the vampire anymore which i'm like i'm happy for you the main reason i'm excited about this is because these two bitches have talked about having a significant others episode and invite our boyfriends, and it'll be so cool. And then they look at me like I'm this, like, sad, depressed little, I don't know, whatever. And I thought I was going to have to bring a bottle of wine and, like, sit in a corner and chug it while you guys have your lovers here. But now, but now, I have a boy to bring. And that's all you're telling us.

Well, I was thinking I would tell how we met because the story is kind of awesome. Okay, yep. and everybody knows how obsessed I am with Tinder or was obsessed with Tinder, and we did not... Was. Past Tent, better close that account, girl. It's been closed. We did not meet on Tinder,

but if Tinder didn't exist, we would have never, like, remet. Sorry, my phone's going off. It's him. It probably is. I love you. Can't stop thinking about last night. I just ate your period blood in my spaghetti.

I'm going to try that. Well, actually, I'm not because I can't cook. okay so how did tinder help you meet okay so i met him like a year and a half ago at the bungalow has anybody been to the bungalow yes i have my favorite place debauchery on the face of this earth it makes me so happy i love going there it's just a bunch of beautiful people dressed up really nice and whatever so i met him last year because his friend was trying to tell my girlfriends that he was patrick swayze's son and showing pictures of patrick swayze on a horse on his phone was the way that he was trying to explain this okay so we're just like whatever

he invited us to his table we had some free drinks i saw the most beautiful man i've ever seen in my life and it was him it was him and but we all just like kind of hung out nothing crazy whatever we took a picture together that i did not remember taking because i usually drink like three bottles of wine at the bungalow and you know that was it it was fun we all hung out no big deal fast forward to like a month and a half ago i'm on tinder swiping around match with this guy and this guy messages me and he's like oh i'm in a cab with my friend scott he says he knows you and you're like an awesome girl and i'm like who the hell i don't know first of all everybody knows jack no jack is so i'm famous i'm so famous oh my god i can't even walk down the street you're so

relevant uh yeah good i they must have been missing me on that word of the week yeah um so he's like oh my my friend knows you he says you're awesome blah blah and i'm like i don't know who the hell this he gave me his full name i'm like i don't know who that is so i like search him on facebook and his profile pops up and i'm like oh my god this is like the hottest guy i've ever seen in my life oh my god so i was like okay tinder guy thank you for the intro i'm gonna message this guy now and scott's gonna be mine and i never messaged guys ever it was just it was you know good for you now here's a question what have you slept with him no but i don't know what is this kind of lady are you i don't know 1955 lady i'm not a lady

wow okay kind of a lady more she's more woman not yet a girl not yet a woman yeah um sounds like you had a good week anything bad about the week i don't think you get a bad week i mean i was going to talk about making a murderer for my bad week oh i know did you finish it no i'm only on episode three i mean it doesn't matter we know what happens in the end he's still in jail but it's insane and it makes me really sad and i was crying last night while i actually got the most upset i only watched the first episode and when they talked about his iq i was like and i'm done like it's almost like it's really it's hard but i have a question i know this is gonna sound really lame what's like a normal iq 120 i think it's like 120 130 i don't know

high iq is like 170 right i think so he had 70 yeah which is low i think brendan not a yeah which is like i can't right right right it's low yeah yeah yeah it's hard so he doesn't know better he doesn't know better it's it's low no it's all so effed up it's the whole thing it makes me so angry it makes me so i just wanted to go through the tv and punch all the cops and then hug his mom her mom with the little doll face and the jowls she's been frowning her whole life and so her cheeks are like in little waddles around her crown line

so sad I love you Steven I think you're innocent free Steven alright Kelty well you guys kind of came in with a light vanilla good week bad week and I'm about to throw it down so sometimes

when you're a D-list celebrity oh my god I'm just kidding wait i'll start with my good list i'll start with my good week this week i was at an award show and i wore a couture dress and i looked amazing and i ended up on one two three best dress list that's amazing because let's be honest i've been on every worst dress list that's ever been ever so that made me really happy now here's the bad part can we put those photos on the vampire instagram by the way all the bad ones yeah like the time oh no good one i'll tell you We'll put the one from like when I first moved to LA and I got invited to the HBO Big Love

premiere and I thought, oh my God, I'm so famous. I'm going to go. And I was wearing a black top shop dress and one of those fur hats. You know, when it was like, I have this picture hat with the, then you have the gloves, like the spirit hood and a heel, not a hat. That's basically like a hood. It's a hood, a spirit, a hood without a spirit hood and a stiletto, honey, as my big moment to shine.

We've come a long way, baby, but let's do the before and after Pablo Sebastian. Thank you. Thank you. Anyway, I was very excited about that. Here's the bad week. So this is what happened. I'm on the red carpet and it's raining in LA. So it's like, it's very closed and very small. And I almost got arrested because they had put up this gate between the carpet is like on one side and then all the media is on the other side. And this fire marshal, whoever you are, says that only a certain amount of people can be on the red part of the actual carpet and everyone else has to be behind the gate like we are cows at a farm. Now, it is tight, so tight packed. Like there's probably six people in my crew in a space that one person should be. not to mention it is raining and so we are six people are surrounded by 400 other crew members standing in puddles of water up to our ankles ruining my shoes holding electrical equipment and wires and batteries and all the things that can electrocute you so i call the fire marshal

over and i was like listen dude here's the thing i totally understand i understand you want me to stand behind this gate it's not gonna be good for my dress secondly it's not gonna be good for my interviews because I'm now like five foot away from everyone, but you can't honestly sit there and tell me that it is safer for me to be standing on this side where I can't move in a puddle of water with this electrical wire running through it. Like you can't tell me that's safer. And he's like, I'm not going to have to get you to leave. And I was like, Oh my God. So then dude brings out a step stool and offers his hand to me so that I can step stool up the step stool. And then in my couture gown that's probably worth more than my mortgage i had to one leg over and one

leg over over the gate to jump over to be in my position in media jail oh that's bad it's all right it was nice of him to bring a stool though i thought he was just you're gonna have to continue to stand on the stool he put you on a pedestal no it was so i just had a stool that she deserves well then i also sell kate hudson that night and kate hudson's face and i was like fuck you're so pretty it's great oh my god her face well when you're getting boned by like a 14 year old i'm sure you're going to be feeling all kinds of youth and beauty no that's the thing she had a glow nick jonas kate hudson yes what hey welcome allegedly allegedly how old is she she's like our age um older no much older she's 39 is she maybe wow hot mama at 40 ish anyway

either way she looks i'll tell you this there are two women in hollywood who look like they have had an orgasm six orgasms every time before they come to a carpet and they are kate hudson and jennifer aniston jennifer aniston looked looks so i just got fucked every time she comes to a carpet anyway all right well good job guys jackson love kelty almost got arrested and i'm about to get arrested for burning down a fan's non-fans house we're gonna find you okay what's going on this is the vampire okay guys we're back with our guest today and i'm very excited about this because we probably haven't had a guest on the vampire that is as dramatic as this has ever been stassi schroeder's here you know her best probably from vanderpump

roles, but she's got a whole lot of stuff going on. She's got her own podcast straight up with Stassi. She, um, is a fashionista. She's got a massive following on social media. And one of the things that I was concerned about inviting you to the podcast, actually, because I saw your face on the line, cause we've never met in real life. And I was like, well, she might be too pretty. Like, I'm not sure if I wanted to sit next to you. And now that I'm sitting next to you, my concerns were correct my concerns were correct um i find this very interesting so first of all hi hi i wasn't sure if i could talk about you're afraid she was mouthing to us all i wanted i just want to know if like i look like i've had six orgasms today because i haven't i don't think

any of us have it's okay no we're all looking just like a little clearly dry just a little bleak i'm like palm springs right now um here's the thing i wanted to to bring up that i found so interesting about you before we get into all of the life in Hollywood stuff is I had no idea about the hurricane Katrina story and stuff. Yeah. No idea that your family lived through this. Can you talk about that a little bit? I mean, it's kind of depressing. I mean, you know, you woke up, I woke up one day and my parents came into my room and this happens like every single year in New Orleans, your parents come in and they're like, there's a hurricane warning. We need to get out. Yeah. And nothing ever really happens. But this time we did leave and just everything

then was gone it's weird yeah it was very very weird when you say everything i mean is this is like your yearbooks your clothing your walkman your well you're not that old but anyway when you left you just you just left right thinking you're gonna come back home yes and you know it was so weird and i was like you know what maybe i'll like i don't know like take some stuff down from my shelves and like put it on the ground like oddly thinking that like the roof was gonna come off and like somehow like my train of thought wasn't there so every i put everything on the ground not realizing that no the water is going to like raise from the ground yeah like i don't know what my logic was i was like it must have been like a making of the murderer like my iq

must have been like soup no like i need to take an iq test now not thinking um well it's kind of incredible like to overcome something like that and then still keep going you know what i mean well i i always say i was really lucky that it was i was at the age that i was because you know you're when you're 16 or 17 years old you can bounce back so quickly you're not so tied to everything and you're not so young that you're kind of like traumatized by it you kind of just like roll with it you know so speaking of rolling you rolled all the way to hollywood totes so what were you doing before you became reality tv royalty i was going to college at loyola marymount and actually serving at sir yeah so this is real that was not like tv is real sometimes guys yeah

there you go on a scale of like what percentage is real um i mean it listen it's a reality show it's manipulated yes like they're it's not fake but it's not you know what i'm saying yeah i just really want to know how you dated jacks for that long i don't want to talk about it i'm so like i i just blame it on age i blame it on age and you don't even blame everything on age it's great you're like i was young and dumb yes exactly i see the appeal i mean it's it's like if you're young and dumb i understand like he's he's an attractive guy he's got some charm well listen i didn't have a show to watch to show me like what he was right like i had no idea now do you think she was living in a hole what what i have no idea like every time every person who dates him

i'm like have you not watched your boyfriend on television that's like the best thing too it's like yes it's the ultimate stalking you want to you know what i mean yeah like shit that we can't see on Instagram, it's right there. Yeah. You can see all the lows. So what did you learn? This is for all the ladies listening from that. And you did it in a very public way, but what did you learn about yourself and what did you learn about relationships moving forward? Um, God, I wouldn't, I feel like it just made me like a little more cynical to be honest. You know what I mean? Cause I'm just like, Oh, if I can, like someone can like trick me for two years, like what else can people do to me you know i guess it just made me a little tougher a little tougher for sure i love

that though that's a good honest answer it's it's kind of depressing but okay life beats you down guys so you're on the show and then you're taking a break from the show and so when that happens i know that you are going back we're going to talk about that but like how hard is it to go from you are on one of the most watched reality shows of all time as a main character then to and now i'm gonna pop back into real life um i'm gonna be honest like i really try and and live my life while we're filming the way that i i normally would so that there's no like on camera stassi and not on camera stassi or something like that oh i just referenced myself and like i referred to myself in the third person but you are like shoot me like fuck okay uh so i

don't really feel like there's that big of a difference i don't know it's it's it's been my life for so long but i'm concerned with you saying that because people you seem lovely but people say that you were like the antagonist like you were no i'm gonna tell you as a professional reality television watcher and analyzer i'm gonna tell you her role on the show and i think it's the role that i've played in much of my life so i kind of could identify so you're you might be saying harsh things but every single person is sitting there being like it's kind of true yeah i mean you're like the truth teller truth tea thanks girl you take it to truth town and you know what it's like everybody might be like oh what a bitch but in the back of their minds they're like well

she's kind of true it's kind of true like she's and everybody probably wishes they had the balls to say it that's the thing and and so i think that it wasn't necessarily an antagonist i think it was just like not afraid to speak your mind because really your observations and the way you sort of saw people for who they are was very accurate like to me as a viewer well listen i got the smart girls realizing that i'm the shit you know what i mean that's all that matters you've got the relevant girls oh can i just say i loathe that word i relevant hate i get people writing all the time on my instagram like you're just trying to be relevant i'm like who came up with this word what does that mean someone relevant like what is it even like i don't it ill it's

the word like i'm posting pictures on instagram does that make me relevant if relevant means i got paid then hell i'm trying i'm trying so hard i'm so thirsty for that sorry sorry my relevant social media life is making me bills okay um how is this double-edged sword though of these two things like you can't go whole foods people say can come on we're talking like i'm like a z-lister you know what I mean no no no no I'm on the z-list and you're not there you're not at the same parties you're definitely listen she was not at the gifting suite that we went to today that was the z-list um so what's happening you're going back I am going but you said I'm never going back I know like oh so embarrassing it was like I like see that's when this becomes a problem when

like my mouth becomes a problem because i don't filter myself and i'm like everything that i'm feeling i'm just gonna tell everyone and then my feelings change in a week and then i look like i'm bipolar like i have problems that's just because everybody else is insane and they're the ones that are like freaking out but you're like dude i just changed my mind i just changed my mind god so you're going back and lisa is your boss well not anymore not anymore yeah but she's on the show yeah so i guess she's kind of a boss yeah jinxie the dog that always has coats on because it has bad skin yeah it's like me it is true becca you're the same i wish i could wear a jacket on my face are what are you scared are you nervous what are you feeling do you have a new love interest

i've been in a relationship for two and a half years so the same guy that he doesn't want anything to do with television so it's probably no one knows who he is but um mystery man no yeah coming back was actually super scary yeah i will say and i took a like quite a few beatings like i kind of resolved that like i'm coming back they're not gonna like it you know i'm gonna go to each of them i know i'm gonna have to go to each of them individually and just kind of like just sit there and like take it you know what i mean so yeah it wasn't the most fun was that your choice to go there and and sort of work it out with each person or was it sort of like the producers being like you need to have a resolution um well i came back for the show to the show for a specific

person or a couple of people that i felt like i um i didn't handle the friendship the way that i feel like i should have and maybe i cut things off way too quickly but with coming back to the show means that you have to deal with everybody else that's around it so then you know right yeah all right hollywood heartbreak what is the moment since this has all happened in hollywood that you thought this is too hard this is too much crap this is too much drama i'm out like back home um the vanderpump rules season three reunion like last reunion tell me about when kristin had sex with jacks and it came no not even that one wait tell us tell us for those who didn't see it well i just think because all last season i was just like i'm so done with this like

i'm not this isn't my life like i don't i don't fight about this shit you know what i mean like what are you guys doing to each other and then i alienated myself on the show so then when the reunion rolled around everyone was just like waiting to pounce and it was so miserable i went home and just i was like i'm not gonna cry during the reunion and i went home and sobbed and took like a million xanax you know mixed it with some you know and uh yeah i was just like i that's when i realized like i don't want to come back like i don't want to do another season but then and then i like had a break and then you did and then i was like well you know what like i built this show like i built this yes boss lady so i'm like i i have to come in and you know stir shit up listen

everyone everyone's jobs are hard um right you're like everyone's jobs are hard so may as well just go back to that one that's kind of fun right that's so bad i'm getting paid to drink so god that's all you ever want um your ish what is your ish moment where you were in hollywood and you thought i'm the shit like this is it right now the paparazzi chase you someone was outside your house someone sent you a free pair of jeans like what's the moment where you're like hollywood um it's gonna be it's gonna be a super boring answer but like fashion week being accepted into like shows and stuff like that and like having them be like okay yes we want you to come it's like that's all i've ever wanted that's all i've ever wanted is it as fun as it looks for me because

i just love that stuff but like when i like make my friends come with me and they're just like not into it they're just like they're miserable so i love it because fashion week is kind of funny because to me i always wanted to go and it looks so glamorous and like front row at michael kors and then you go there and you're like well shit this is a warehouse and you're it's literally 10 minutes long and you go in there's so much photographers you sit the clothes come out and then you're out like it's so fast front row pick but it's interesting because it is fun but it's like man it's a grind it's a kind of a grind fashion week it's exhausting it's so tough it really is we got dressed up in fabulous clothes and people sent cars when i exhausted i sound

like an ass so tired we always sound like ass so sorry no i'm like i'm like oh my god then i had to sit front row beside heidi klum and it was like i'm just kidding that's us all the time champagne problems we're really embarrassing that's why people talk shit on us whatever That's true. That's why we're trying to be relevant. Relevant. Relevant. Hot or hungry?

You're hot. Your face is like insane. Are you starving yourself like everyone else in Hollywood? Yes. Wait. Yeah. Thank God. Thank you.

You are the first person. Everyone's like, water and air. No, I really actually like trying to eat like one meal a day. Oh my God. Me too. Me too. Thank you. I actually just had half a cookie.

It's the first thing I've eaten all day. And I was like, I did it. It sucks. It really isn't fun. It's hard to be Hollywood skinny. Yeah, and I don't like working out. I am a lazy ass. It's not fun.

So you're just like, no food then? No food. So what's your trick? My trick? Yeah, I've sort of done the whole thing where I'm like, I'm going to eat one meal a day. What meal is it for you that works? Dinner. Yeah.

I like get cracked out on coffee and stuff all day long. I do that as well. I don't want anyone to follow my... I'm not giving advice right now. everyone knows that this is a terrible idea it is a terrible terrible idea and i'm probably gonna look like i'm 80 in three years but at least she'll be in a size 25 jean yes um is there a celebrity that you sort of stalk that you follow that you love that you haven't met yet that you're like oh i can't wait till we're friends or aka making out yeah this is

you just referenced her kate hudson you kind of look like kate hudson that is so nice i have never gotten that in my life no you do you kind of look like her yeah yeah thank you guys yeah amazing yeah she's amazing right i just think she is so funny i really love when girls have like just like such good comedic timing and she seems like she's just like a fun girl to be around she seems like a girl's girl yeah her body's also like really stupid see she works out though guys did you fabletics apparently yeah she says yeah you know what's interesting she um has a new motto for 2016 with her mom why not why not why not i love it i love that too should we only eat dinner why not should we drink champagne and make a podcast why not it's like you're like a yes man

but in the new like why not i went through a phase of being a yes man i ended up really drunk i was gonna say i did it i do like specific nights i'll be a yes man and every night i blackout yeah no i like puked in so many bathrooms and then rallied like what i have to say that's just saying yes we'll get you i want to take you to an inspirational place yes oh no we don't like this place is there a do you have a mantra kate has why not but i like to write that like the goals i'm gonna have for the year and the mantra is like you're so beautiful i'm like keep your chin up on my mirror do you have a great do you have a mirror message um they make fun of me because they're jake kelsey is like way too much and becca and i are just super cynical and like

yeah yeah i see i feel like i'm more on like on their side you know like i really don't like quotes i don't like any of that like cutesy shit like i don't know it's just like it makes me feel weird so you so you're with us yeah and then it's just how about the girl we all know her we all have her on our instagram feed the girl who takes endless selfies and posts an inspirational and then the inspirational quote is the comment and i'm like girl it's the word but that's me you're describing me it's me because here's the thing okay you're probably a happier person help me right now okay social media wonders there's two things i want to do every day one is post what i wear on the show because people give me the free outfits and i want i

have to credit them secondly i want to inspire people to have like a nice life and think about what they're doing how do i do them both in one post i think you can inspire people without using some generic like lame ass inspirational no i don't write a generic today she did oprah it was really good i have to say can i see it i want to see it ask me my phone what i'm talking about is like at least with the outfit photo you're kind of being like hey girls here's a cute idea for an outfit okay that's at least like helping because you know i wear bargain basement clothing like I'm not wearing shit you can't afford I'm talking about the girls who literally like takes photos from like cleavage yeah and it's always like big boobs in your face right and there's

when you're in a string bikini and they're using facetune so everyone looks like a Kardashian and it's like so you want to show us this amazing picture that you created of yourself but you want to make it look like there's a depth there that's true but it's like literally your tits in your face it starts way in on my thing okay first of all nice outfit so love that um yeah when people write quotes like this it honestly just like makes me feel like more depressed like why are they so much happier than i am you know what i mean i'm gonna read you say the quote yeah yes is this oprah lots of people want to ride with you in the limo but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down don't forget the b emoji like what what is

Why is there a bubble emoji? Oprah's always like, this is going to tell you stuff. No? Anyway. All right, listen. Wait, Saucy, I love you because you give her just as much shit as we do. You can be in the vampire. Just kidding.

I'm leaving. You know what? You do you. You do me. No. And since I have the least amount of followers and likes, obviously what I'm doing is working. You just got to be a cynical bitch like the rest of us. I guess.

Am I supposed to be more of a dick? Yeah, but then you don't get the husband. See, it's a real – you either have a really strong social media presence or you have a husband. You can never have both. Oh, my God. I don't know which one I want more. I don't either. It's a really hard choice.

Last thing I want to ask you is what is the misconception? Like right now, you're going back on the show. So many people are talking about it. The blogs are talking about it. Clear it up. Like what is the thing you want kind of everyone to know? i mean i don't what are people saying i don't know stassi they're saying you're a bitch i'm okay with that that's fine that's that's okay like that's true yeah i mean come on it's a reality show and

you're only seeing like five minutes of like 500 hours that i filmed and it's like if i hey better to be the bitch than to be like the wallflower don't be the boring girl i'd rather be a bitch than be bland yes totally for sure that'll be my mantra someone once said to me someone once said to me you want to have everyone like you but you want to have a couple people hate you you've already used that one i think um well i'm very excited that you stopped by and you're gonna hang out i have one more question yeah go we're not done there is something that is baffling blowing my mind on this season of vanderpump rules is it the same thing that's like baffling me james yes who's sleeping with him uh i don't know i am like convinced that he is like a member of

isis like i i am convinced seriously i don't even think that's an outraged i don't think it is either i don't think anyone should be shocked by that i don't understand it i don't know what's her name lala whatever lala what yeah that's her name like she's hot yeah very beautiful very beautiful girl like i know that she's getting she could literally go to one oak and have sex with leonardo dicaprio tomorrow but like she's having sex with james listen does he have a huge penis no i think you find out i think it's a show thing okay yeah i mean i think she's like oh james is on the show she was dating he was dating kristin like let's stir some shit up like right come on you know what i mean i guess like he looks like the guy from like you know in the mask like

when he puts it on but not him but the bad guy puts it on he looks like the bad guy who just put on the mat he does he does well you know that's all i wanted to know do you need any more time i wanted to talk to you about kristin also i because i heard is there going to be a spinoff a spinoff yeah no one's told me about it i read on some blogs that people are talking about maybe a spinoff for the two of you you and kristin no one told me that the reality tv blogs no would you do one uh yeah i mean there's only you know so much longer like i can like film around a restaurant that i don't work at right you know what i mean like i just like my job yes i need to stay relevant and hovering around the restaurant like just being in like the back corners like yeah

i'm here did someone just start a fight you know what i mean like um i really appreciate also just one more thing take your time back on my personal fan meme wait when sheena did her performance a cup i think season two her pop performance on the on stage at or at sir at sir at her engagement party you're in your commentary you had a you had like a confessional where you comment you were commenting on the performance so it might not have been the engagement party okay but whatever you said i really wish i could pull quotes from the internet right now it was like the greatest grilling of reality television history like i haven't heard that wait you you i'm gonna i'm gonna pull it up okay i'm back we'll come back stassi's gonna

stick around and help us all figure out your lives for you during our ask the vampire series hey ladies funky ask the vampire all right guys welcome welcome back um this is my personal favorite favorite part of our podcast and it is called ask the vampire and it's when you users fans are tweeting in users you robots a bunch of robots are tweeting in fake questions All of our fans are tweeting in questions about their lives, and we are trying to help you with the best advice that we can give as three blondes having a podcast. Can I just say, though, it's getting almost insane the amount of people that are writing in using hashtag Ask the Fempire and writing into our Fempire on our website.

It's crazy because they all come to my phone, and I'm trying to work, and then it's just like question. Like I'm, it is making me very excited that so many people are invested and we don't have time to do all your questions, but we're picking out the best ones. So write. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like now the ante has been upped. So write some good questions guys.

Okay. So the first one is from Maria via email and she says, what is the key to achieving your dreams? Having a rich dad. Opening your. You had that one. Kelty knew. That is such a good answer.

having somebody just throw money boning the right person yeah having a sex tape or a sex tape i mean this is sick but it's true only in hollywood that is yeah that is true i would say um not giving up at the first no i would say not giving up at like the hundredth no right and i think sometimes how many times honestly in the past three weeks i've had multiple people come up to me and say i'm obsessed with the fempire podcast i had that idea with my girlfriends i had that idea i want to do a podcast with my girlfriends and no one actually put the grind in to make it happen and i think sometimes everyone has good ideas but can you actually turn an idea into a reality and make it your dream walk the walk a lot can you move to la and audition and become a famous actress can you

start a clothing line at the warped tour and then turn it into a multi-million dollar brand kelsey is insane no but like it honestly success doesn't get handed to anybody on a silver platter and i feel like some people kind of assume that that will happen and you just have to work your ass off and not give up it's like cheesy and stupid saucy do you have a rich dad well i mean define rich i guess that's why stassi's been quiet no but what's your key what's your secret you think i don't know because sometimes when people ask me that i and and i have to be reminded so hot by the way everybody wait what the hell can i see a pic i'm gonna pull up a picture it's so weird like a silver fox okay so gross um uh i sometimes feel like things were handed to me

because i love what i do so much and i forget that like no it actually is a job and i grind and like i've started a website and like i started a podcast and like i forget that it's hard work you know what i mean because you're having so much fun yeah because i love it that's the key it's like you just have to find what you love to do and then it doesn't feel like work well i feel like in order to be successful yeah you have to just like find what's so you you know what I mean like what are you good at what is like where you shine and like I guess like I shine in terms of like being cynical and people like it you know being a total bitch someone has to be that that's a good answer okay so next question is from twitter from melissa loves leah um when you're

feeling confident and someone tries to bring you down how do you handle that and stay positive and confident well i mean this is you probably i so you i get instagram comments all the time like you're fat you're ugly you're this you're that you kind of just have honey you have to be delusional you know what i mean like you have to just like convince yourself that like you are like a dime the hottest shit you know what i mean like i just have to live in delusion yeah so but i think it's also you have to understand and this is so your fourth grade you know health coach wording but anytime i've ever had anyone come at me in a negative way it's always been out of jealousy i was just gonna say that always because yeah when you're not confident when you're confident with

yourself and what you're doing people can't stand it but you don't talk shit on other people that's not true that's all no talking is different but i mean like actively going out to a stranger and like what's wrong with your brain that like you felt like i am going to take the time to type this awful comment to someone i've never met i think there's a difference between gossiping talking shit there's such a big difference and being really really cruel and malicious there is social like for sport girls commentary all the time and then there is like malicious you go after someone to make their life a living hell and those two things are very different like i'm gonna be like hit hudson but i think that's for sport which is maybe awful too i don't know

That's for sport. Listen. That's the best talking shit Back up anything. I mean, the younger me would have answered this question very differently.

You know, I had some haters in high school. I peed in their purses. However, Wow. Did you really? I did. The aim and stuff

that you had to have. I peed into a Poland Springs water bottle and then I took it and dumped it into the girl's purse. So just a whole You are terrifying.

in the bottom of her purse. You were like, were you a mean girl in high school? Oh my God. No, I wasn't a mean girl but this girl ratted me out did you make them drink your blood your period vagina blood no but like I made a really nice pasta you want some that would have been a better idea I know you know what upset me though I hope the people listening though you were brilliant it was kind

of brilliant but what upsets me the most is this was like 10 years 10 plus years ago and like I didn't get to witness the reaction of her realizing there was piss in her purse so if there was anyone at pebble brook high school in 2004 at the christmas concert and you were there in the girl's dressing room i won't say the girl's name say it don't say it don't i'm not gonna say her name however and maybe she doesn't even know i mean she might not have even known i mean you can spell or that it was urine until right now you're welcome she was like i thought my purse snitches get stitches or just pee in their purse so dark okay so that's what i did the old me what's new what's new you i'm a much more evolved person and i think that the only people's opinion i really do

care about are people who i also respect so my friends my family you know if they have something kind of like rude to say to me i'm actually going to take that into account and be like maybe i am being a cunt today however if you're like sarah from michigan who's telling me on my instagram that my face looks like a turkey like i don't really care i don't know you melissa and maybe it does you know drop the mic okay all right so renee via the fempire email says i've been sick i had my bladder removed and will need a full hysterectomy by age 30 i haven't dated anyone because i feel embarrassed how do i bring up these topics in discussions that's a good question wow first of all renee you're crazy brave yeah you know that's hard how does that work to get a

bladder removed and then like where does it probably have a colon colonoscopy bag what do you call it no that's uh do you have a catheter catheter full-time catheter then not sure she didn't give us details um hysterectomy means you won't be able to have kids probably uh okay i just feel like we should stop complaining about shit right now probably true renee really brought us back down to life real life um you know i'm gonna just say get a little deep here and i'm gonna say life sometimes hands you some very challenging things to deal with and they may seem super unfair at the time however there's a silver lining everywhere which means the people that are going to come into your life especially men are going to be incredibly quality people

that's so true yes so you know what you kind of have this automatic filter of douchebags and really great nice guys because you're not the only person going through this and there are other people i'm sure who have found love with this or more challenging situations and um you know just stay positive you're alive you have love on the horizon and i think it shouldn't stop you from trying to put yourself out there and do things because like you said it's like everybody everybody's dealing with something different and you never know what that could be with somebody and i think people are way more open-minded than you would think that they are in situations like that for sure and also you have to just be honest yeah and to bring it up is awkward but the things

that are so uncomfortable in life are always the things that after you say them you're like oh i'm so glad that is out yeah and your responses are usually the most rewarding because if you're honest like that to somebody from in the beginning and their response probably goes above and beyond what you thought then it's like but also you can't use it as a crutch for your life you know you have to go out there and and live your life and be your person and don't let that thing you know put you in a corner and make you feel a way about yourself like you have to be in spite of the challenges you can't you know you know be the person that's always like well this that's why nothing will work out for me because this happened you have to be above it you know wow those are

you some great answers i don't even know if i could follow that up like you know what wow sometimes guys you do you there's some depth there is a little depth not a lot though not not much that's as much as we can take for one episode for probably the rest of the um thank you so much for joining us you're amazing so so good make sure uh to follow stassi on all of her social media accounts which i think is at stassi schroeder yeah pretty much straight up there on twitter and instagram check out obviously you're already a podcast person duh so if you're not already listening to her podcast straight up with stassi go check it out on itunes everywhere that you get podcasts everywhere that you get podcasts yeah um check her out on vanderpump

real she's coming back to town what day is your first episode i think january 25th so it's like right around the corner we're very excited and um obviously subscribe subscribe subscribe to the fempire podcast and please tell your friends that this exists share it tweet it so we can make it massive and delicious don't forget to ham send in your ask the fempire questions using hashtag ask the fempire on instagram and twitter you can also go to fempirepodcast.com to listen to each episode look at beautiful pictures of us and also send in your questions follow at fempire podcast on instagram follow it's becca tobin new instagram name she's got how many people are upset i know People are mad.

I saw some comments. Did you change it just solely because of us? Yeah, I thought it would be funny and that I could go back, but someone stole it. Oh, no. You can't just change it. It was so dark. I'm an idiot. Follow at Jack Vanek and at Kelty Knight because clearly I need more likes on my inspirational

quotes slash fashion photos. Get over there. Make us relevant. See you next Tuesday. Make us relevant. Please, please, please. Yay! Woo!

Yay! Thanks for listening to today's episode. You can join the Girl Gang from the Fempire every Tuesday at iTunes and PodcastOne.com. That's PodcastONE.com.