LadyGang - Gary Janetti

Episode Date: May 1, 2018

Executive Producer of Will & Grace and creator of the British sitcom Vicious Gary Janetti joins the Ladies to talk about his illustrious career and plays Allegedly Wassa's Happening with "Prince George." Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and you can email Jac, Becca and Keltie at Hello [e-mail]! And thank you to today's sponsor! - Amazon = Shop using Amazon.com/shop/ladygang to keep the podcast free! - Brooklinen = Get $20 off AND free shipping when you use promo code lady at Brooklinen.com   - Felix Gray Glasses = Try a pair of Felix Gray computer glasses at FelixGrayGlasses.com/lady - From You Flowers = Get 1-dozen mixed roses for $19.99 or 2-dozen mixed roses with free vase for $29.99 at FromYouFlowers.com/lady - Lunya - Get 15% off your first purchase when you use promo code lady at Lunya.co  - Stamps.com - Go to Stamps.com, click the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage, and enter ladygang to enjoy a 4-week trial PLUS $55 postage AND a digital scaleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Ontario! Come on down to BetMGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive, The Price is Right Fortune Pick. Don't miss out! Play exciting casino games based on the iconic game show, only at BetMGM. Access to The Price is Right Fortune Pick is only available at BetMGM Casino. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGamingOntario. Hey guys, it's your lady gang, Jack Vannick, Kelty Knight, and Becca Tobin.

Thank you so much for subscribing on iTunes, and thanks for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you every single week for free. Well, what is this? Welcome to the lady gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The lady gang. Things are about to change around here.

Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to The Lady Gang. I am Becca Tobin here with Kelty Knight and Jack Vanek. Yo! Do we have a treat for you guys today? It's so exciting. I can't wait.

Kelty's high on pain meds. Hey! She is like, this is a version of Kelty I've yet to meet. I'm pretty chill, right? It's actually a way chiller version of you. But you know what I realized as I've been sitting here watching you for the past hour? We're going to know if you get hooked on pain pills. Yeah.

Yeah, because you do the loopy, Vicodin-y kind of like, yeah, yeah. She's got that glassy eye thing. Yeah, you've got a sparkle in your eye. But I like it. I'm an excellent listener on Pain Pillow. I feel like I just sit back and listen. Do you actually listen or are you just sitting there? I'm really taking in, like I'm begging what you're raking.

Are you driving yourself home tonight? No, you're driving me home. Oh, okay. Great. Well, I was actually going to say you can't drive yourself. You're really, yeah. Yeah, this is not a good look. Okay, so, and now it's time for...

good week yes it is bad week oh no i'm going first do it so here's my thought it was going to be a bad week but it's actually a good week love those love those so i have always had a female ob-gyn because that's what i'm comfortable with um call me old-fashioned but i go into my appointments you know freshly showered but i don't necessarily care about the state of my leg hair or my pubic hair or my like pedicure you know what i mean so i've been having to see a specialist for some things and it's a man and i went to see him the first time and i was and all of my girlfriends when i was talking about going i was like i cannot see a male gynecologist they all they're all like oh my god mine is like this big fat jewish man and i he's he's practically a

woman at this point like the way that we talk and yeah and you're not gonna be it's not gonna be weird you're gonna feel fine well the first time i went i stupid me didn't shave for my appointment my legs my i think i had a bull bush happening i walk in and it's a man in his mid to late 30s oh no oh no hot very attractive no that's my that's my nightmare very attractive And I was like, oh, my God. Okay, this is the worst moment of my life. He's also so funny and smart and charming and also very professional. Straight.

No, married. But I'm just thinking all he's going to remember is my hairy butthole, and that is it. Are they looking at your butthole? I mean, your butthole's right there. They're not looking at your butthole. It's vagina adjacent. You cannot miss a butthole. You've got to open it up.

But it's like it's below where they're going. He's probably not looking. what they're doing is pretty invasive so you know what so i had my second appointment today and i got ready for this appointment like it was a second date and by second date i mean that's when i usually put out i showered i took a i did a body scrub i did a leg shave i did a body oil a head to toe heels i didn't miss a thing i made sure i wore great socks because you know that's also next to their head when you're in the stirrup it's just a sock and it's exhausting and so the reason this is my i nailed it and that's why this is my good week because i felt confident a.m

with my doctor oh my god please don't make me laugh it hurts so bad that truly actually is my nightmare is a hot you can't even imagine my face when he walked in he probably thought that i was i i don't know like seeing a gut my i went white i'm sure oh color drained from my face yeah so that's my good week i nailed it today guys it was a great second date he definitely got to fourth base penetration but not to the butthole yet so you're good no my butthole was squeaky clean okay here's my bad week did i ever talk about i don't know if i've talked about this yet but zach's co-worker got something called black hairy tongue no i've heard of this but you haven't talked about what is this well this is another i'm not gonna say where he got this

from because they may be a sponsor at some point or another it's a restaurant that he got this from and it it is a bacterial something and he was eating at this restaurant twice a week oh i'm too close to the mic sorry um i feel like you can just say it just yell at me because then we were like looking at you were like what is she right then it takes 10 times longer poor jordan she's like back the mic um so he was eating there regularly at this lunch spot and he woke up one day and had literally what it sounds like a black hairy tongue google it immediately if you're driving don't black hairy tongue and it's from an establishment that i happen to like oh no i can't wait to order this i'm gonna tell you off the air and yeah you bet

your ass we're gonna take their money and sponsor them if they come on board just kidding um we'll do like a secret like depends i was gonna say hand signal to be like don't actually eat there what it sounds like my god okay this is a fungus i guess and he had to take antibiotics and it went away he's fine does it smell i i didn't ask that i don't ask that is a question i never ask anyone ever i don't want to know what anything smells like okay did you french kiss him okay so there you go that was oh that's it yeah okay i can't wait to hear i'll go okay so my good week uh this is probably only a good week for me and nobody else is going to appreciate it as much um a friend of mine his birthday is in a month and for his birthday he decided that he wanted

smash mouth to play his birthday party hey now you're an all-star get your game on so what he did for this is he sent out a tweet to smash mouth being like if i can find a piece of a different piece of merch to wear every single day for a month will you play my birthday party and they said yes so he's been on this smash mouth challenge where who knows where the hell he's found 30 pieces of smash mouth he did it like he he was wearing like random smash mouth necklaces hats he got like a like a drink tumbler and i'm like this is dedication and i really appreciate it to an obscure early 2000s band good and good for smash and are you going to that party definitely gonna go can i go yeah i don't even think i like smash mouth but you would like them

but i want to see the premise yeah yeah it's gonna be a good party and it's like you know what good for you and good for smash mouth also i make a goal you set a goal you you did it you Charge that goal. You probably spent so much money on that merch, though. Yeah. And as a really, you know, pretty huge celebrity myself, people are asking you all the time to come to their things. You know?

Yeah. I'm just kidding. You just got to be. We've been invited to two weddings. We have. But here's the thing. If someone was going to do something creative like that. It's creative.

That would intrigue me. Yeah. You'd be like, you know what? This is worth my night. Yeah. I like it. I'm into it. I know.

And they're probably going to get some press from it. Yeah. You know Smash Mouth has it. And I'm assuming it probably doesn't cost that much. Do you want to cover that? I'm in. Smash Mouth concert. I'm going to pitch it tomorrow.

Bad week. I was walking down the street the other morning. It was kind of early. Making my way downtown, walking fast. She's high. Just like snapping my way down. That is such a good song. No, no.

Vanessa Carlton? Great. Michelle Branch was better. That's a great song. Vanessa Carlton's also great. Making my way downtown and there wasn't that many people on the road because it was early. were you doing a walk of shame no i haven't done a walk of shame in months i'm wearing a sweater with a zipper neck i'm also so hot right now i'm sweating another sweater of yours on my that's

fine okay you were walking down the street not that many people on the road and i see this girl kind of like walking towards me and i need to i'm gonna smack you she was about like 50 feet away from me but the thing happened and the thing is when you're gonna approach somebody and then you both do the back and forth thing yeah you don't like you're like i'm gonna hit this person okay so i'm gonna go left and then they go left and then so you go right but this happened from no joke 50 feet away like we saw each other we locked eyes and we're like this is gonna sorry just keep going oh jordan sorry she's so distracting like really distracting oh my god we're not allowed to play more than 15 seconds of this or we're getting sued

that's it okay okay back anyway so we're like going back and forth for what seems like years and we ran into each other at the end of this how did that happen i don't know you are larry david i don't know and i'm and you know you're like getting so stressed out as they get closer and closer like what do i do okay now i'm gonna go really far left and then they go really far left and then it ended up we smashed into each other are you sweating as much as me no but i use my i think my deodorant has stopped working kelty kelty good week your good week is how you're feeling right now because i wish i was feeling that my good week is that i ordered a yellow hat a fascinator for the royal wedding from turkey it has arrived and i look good in it

and yellow is your power color well yes and it is disappointing because i wanted it to be like my power color is sunshine yellow but it's a little bit of like that Easter yellow so I'm going to have to rethink my outfit and to match. Well I was going to wear a power yellow color but I can't wear like a pale yellow hat and anyway it's going to be fine but I was just really, I don't look great in hats because

I have a five head so I was like a little nervous about how this hat would look on me but it looks cute. I'm going to be cute at the Royal Wedding. I'm ready. I'm excited to see your outfit. Me too. Thanks. Bad week. I almost died and I'm glad that we can talk about it on this podcast so Well, first of all, thank you for all your love and concern.

Most of all, I want to tell you the story of when Becca and Jack showed up at the hospital. But I was in, last week after we were podcasting, or two weeks ago, I was in a head-on collision driving home from work and totaled my car. And it was really scary. And I can laugh about it now because I'm high as fuck on Percocet. But I was in the hospital for two days and had surgery. And the funnest part about it was when Becca and Jack. Most fun part about it. is when Becca and Jack showed up

and they brought me fat burger and a diet coke which I'm not supposed to have and a whole bunch of trash magazines and then a whole bunch of like get well clothes and I just like they sat with me and they were my first friends to come visit me in the hospital and it was so nice cause you don't realize that when you're

hurting or you're hurt like if you're alone it's so much worse like you need something to take your mind off it and these bitches are the perfect amount of ridiculous to like take my mind off it so thanks for coming to the hospital guys Of course, and shout out to Weatherly. Yeah, Weatherly PR.

Weatherly PR is a company in L.A., and all of the girls, well, not all of them. I'm not going to flatter myself. A lot of them listen to the Lady Gang, and one of them had texted me after your accident, and I was like, Kelty got into this really terrible accident. She's like, what can we do? And they put together this entire bag of Wild Fox cozy clothes. And I've lived. They gave me this big Wild Fox hoodie.

It's like triple size. It goes longer than your butt. I've lived in it for the entire week. Like, I have not taken it off. It's perfect to, like, go over my big arm. And it's pretty emotional. I'm having, like, some flashbacks. Yesterday I went and drove, test drove some cars because I need a new car.

And, like, someone honked at me and I absolutely, like, freaked out. So I think, like, the first few days after it I felt kind of invincible because of the drugs. I was like, I'm fine. Like, I've got this. And now I'm starting to kind of realize, like, I don't have it. I'm in pain. I'm feeling awkward. Like, I feel like my mouth is, like, not working at the right speed.

But anyway, I'm going to be fine. I lived. The driver, it was not my fault, obviously. Oh, that's the part I want to talk about. I was following the rules. Of course, everyone knows that. I was in the right lane, both of my hands on the wheel. Ten and two.

Ten and two. And because I was at ten and two, that is when my arm got smashed up. Because it was between me and the steering wheel, and my arm went in between me and the steering wheel and got crashed. But was it between your arm and your face, you think? Do you think your arm? I just feel like sometimes airbags do more damage than if they. I think that, I don't really remember because I went unconscious, but I think my face hit the airbag because it was all these tiny little baby scrapes on it, and then I think my arm

hit the steering wheel. Wait, I thought it was that your arm got, like, crushed because it was on the steering wheel, and then the airbag smashed it, right? Probably. But it smashed between, it sandwiched between me and whatever it was, steering wheel or arm or whatever. Yeah. So I didn't, basically, they were like, here's your x-ray.

They're like, see this soupy, murky area? That was where your wrist used to be, and now we're going to build you a new one out of metal. so i'm basically a bionic i'm a bionic woman are you excited to walk through tsa and be like um excuse me sorry it's not my shoes and pins no but i do want to say um and like this will be all i say about it but you know i think i was talking to you guys on the podcast about how like i'm seven years into my relationship with chris and like there is that it's not a seven-year itch but like we're so comfortable with each other it's like you get to this point in your marriage where

you're just like best friends too and I like it's not that I forgot how much I love Chris but I think I sort of just got so accustomed to us just being around each other and then I got in this accident he was just so incredible and like the day I got home from the hospital I couldn't shower because I can't get my arm wet so he like ran a bath for me and he put me in the bathtub and he had like a washcloth and he's like washing off all the you know when you have the IVs they put all the stickers on you and the tape and like it's really gummy and hard to get off and he's like washing all the blood off me and underneath my fingernails and like i it was so i was so sad and hurt but like it was so romantic to have that person and just like really solidified that when you pick your

person for your life like yes you want them to be successful and sexy and interesting and fun and flirty and tall and like all of those things of course but like the truth is you have to find someone who's gonna love you you know like really love you and take care of you when shit hits the fan like he's been putting my hair up in ponytails because i can't put my hair up such a great you know but he's a he's a great man and like i've never really been more thankful for him because i am such a person that i do all my own shit i'm so independent we all are like we i don't need a man you know what i mean i don't need help but oh i need lots of it okay much of it yeah help me yeah i just like you know it's really sweet so um and thank you guys so much he's the sweetest

yeah he really is i love that i came to the hospital we came to the hospital jack and i and he he was trying to protect perfect am i at high on perfect his top knot for you i know he's so cute like he doesn't want to use a brush i'm like it doesn't feel right unless it's brushed into place he just wants to use his fingers i'm like no tight tight tight tight like of course i'm like giving him i'm like this one's fine but it's not exactly center you know when a top knot you can feel it yeah crazy i'm like oh my god so anyway um it's pretty nice and we're happy that you're okay me too and thank god my face is okay thank god your face is okay and thank god you didn't perish because we would be the lady gang the lady gang would retire i know not because we

do it in your honor but really because we can't keep this machine going without you no the lady gang is no let's think the lady gang is probably 70 elena 30 no 29 kelsey and then 1.5 percent yeah for sure that is not true that equal 100 yes that's why i had to rethink it 100 times you guys are ridiculous but anyway on a letter and you left out jordan and jordan okay i'm not gonna read you this whole thing jordan's in there too we get it she's above us she's definitely the funniest part about it is that do you remember when elena was leaving and we're like will i survive with elena in japan and i was like i'll never survive without her what are we gonna do like i can't run my life without her and then i almost died like yeah you know she got that text

and she probably rolled her eyes like of course this happens i have a question though if i'm driving you home you have like a lot of ptsd from bad drivers i'm a really bad driver i'm gonna try to be really good but i'm a really bad driver no i actually like it's me driving and people like honking at me and then on friday my girlfriend took me picked me up from the hospital and took me to my doctor's appointment and then she took me to get a pedicure which was like so nice after being in the hospital and you're so gross you know and um i got a little pukey in her car just you know but i drove with chris all weekend that's okay and i have a black cask so i'm a badass and i have a bedazzled oh okay one more thing please everyone i know you're already watching my

entertainment tonight but i do have like a collection of 18 colored coordinated bedazzled slings that i will be wearing and matching with my outfits every night until i get my cast off and i think it would be fun for you guys to watch okay bye i love it who's coming up prince george is here now back to the lady gang i've never seen becca as excited about a guest as she was about our guest today honestly when we got him on our calendar she was like oh my god like i've never even seen becca happy before but here she is being so happy joining us today in the studio He is a writer-producer with an Instagram to die for. We loved his work on Will & Grace, Vicious, and, of course, Family Guy, the American classic.

But we all know the real reason you're here is because of his Prince George memes. He has the most in-demand comedy account on Instagram, using baby Prince George to roast some of our faves like Meghan Markle daily, sometimes multiple times per day. And major question, will Prince George ever roast the Lady Gang, TBD? Please welcome to the Lady Gang, Gary Gennetti. Hi, guys. You're welcome. Thanks, guys. Happy to be here.

So when did you know you were a star? Start at the beginning. Just now, after that introduction. Thank you. But, yeah, no, it kind of caught on in a way that I had not obviously anticipated. No, you can't. Yeah, no, I totally didn't plan it. So what is your Hollywood life?

Obviously, we know your husband, Brad Goreski, is a major, major stylist and television host. But what was your Hollywood journey? well tell us what you like well kelty uh i've been a sitcom writer for like 20 years you know basically most of my career has been on will and grace and family guy i've been on family guy since the first episode which was actually this summer will be 20 years ago i started on it i know and then it's been yeah i've been back and forth on it so i spent a lot of time writing for family guy and then i was in london for a few years doing a show with ian mckellen and derek jack could be vicious and then kind of came back uh did some more family guy working on some other stuff and

yeah that's did you have anything to do with becca tobin being mentioned on family guy because of her new photo leak no what do you mean you were mentioned on family guy i've never felt more it was like the best week of her life so many people came out of the woodwork yeah i did a hallmark christmas no more people noticed family yeah of course you know how many people watch hallmark yeah so i there was something i forget the episode but it was around the time that the jennifer lawrence like the whole whatever nude photo thing was happening and i was i think the end of the episode or something the celebrity names were scrolling yeah oh oh you're in that yeah you're in the scroll yes that's good but it wasn't yeah no it wasn't me but you know when

i actually wrote an episode of the show a couple years ago where brian and stewie are locked in a bank vault and Stewie is he bought a Tom Brown sweater which they actually I brought in and the artist drew my Tom Brown sweater and he's kind of feeling bad because he spent you know thousands of dollars on this ridiculously priced Tom Brown sweater and then nobody of course the family guy knew who Tom Brown was except me and they were like who's Tom Brown I'm like it's fucking Tom Brown it doesn't matter if you know Stewie knows and we know who Tom Brown is so after that episode aired, Tom Brown contacted Brad to say how

that showed that he made it to his family. Everybody was so excited that he was on Family Guy. And I sent him a little still from it a sell with him wearing, Stewie wearing the Tom Brown sweater. And you know what he did? Tom Brown sent a gift to Brad. To Brad? Yeah.

Wait, this was me. How weird is that? Only to Brad, not to you? Correct. That is some bull shit. Thank you. So anyway. I have a question though. Yeah, there it is. This is going to be all gossip. the whole hour. Everybody who's wronged me, this is my opportunity.

This is therapy. We're moving you through things right now. I know. I was going to say, can Becca get a sell of her thing on Family Guy? It's really boring, though.

With your name on it going by? I'll see what I can do. Although, like, my name with Jennifer Lawrence is not a bad look. I bet I could get it for you. The company you keep,

you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean. A few texts I could get it for you. Let me tell the story of how we procured this thing,

right now i was on instagram one day and on my have you ever seen becca as excited as she is right now jack yeah except for where the housewives can go whatever how sand okay so i was scrolling on instagram one day and i found on the search maybe the search page or whatever it was this really funny prince george meme and we'll get into these and explain for those of you who are living under a rock and don't follow yet but i found this instagram and i just followed i didn't even really i didn't read your name i was just like oh my god these are golden like comedy gold And we love trolling, or I love trolling Meghan Markle here. So then I'm sitting at lunch with a mutual friend of ours, Leah Michelle, who I didn't know was a mutual friend until I was scrolling, scrolling.

And I said, Leah, you have got to follow this Instagram account. It's the best Instagram account on Instagram. And I was like, Gary Gennetti. She goes, Becca, that is Brad's husband. I know Gary. I was like, stop it. It was like she told me she knew Meryl Streep. Well, I'm really flattered.

It's great. It's so good. But I have a question. And so now your Instagram is 90% of these Prince George memes. Do you post anything that's like your own stuff? Inspirational quotes. Well, that's his material. He's writing it.

That is my life now. She's like, where are your bikini shots? I don't understand your question. Like yourself? Oh, do I ever post myself? Kind of like, what do you mean? Like something like... Like a picture of yourself.

No, never. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I don't. No, it's just memes. No, it's not just memes. It's also, there's also, I do text posts. and they're kind of I have a certain

kind of font that I use it's kind of like old timey typewriter or something so then you know people steal your posts and people do but I credited you

okay thanks do you contact them when they do kind of oh my god yes are you like troll them in the comments you know

I don't like when people steal so thank you Gary yeah it's just a thing I have I don't get really super aggressive

about it like but I I'm just kind of like hey that's not cool you know don't that's not cool i don't take other people's stuff don't take my stuff yeah simple as that i'm trying to find my favorite is when you when the comments that i know no well lisa rena loves your instagram by the way all she does is say gary she does comment on um so um i'm trying to narrow it

down it's so good but after the engagement news broke you said something along the lines of like oh great may 2018 cash bar or something like something yeah don't try to read the bag mangled it and now people listening are like that's not that funny just have them look at just look at it okay can't i read one of like your good ones well here's my question let me ask you a question at what point in your career in this were you like i think i control megan markle as prince george like where did this idea oh yeah i didn't have an idea like that it actually wasn't um at all fully formed no no not at all i personally like her so it's kind of ironic i'm like people think i don't like her i

don't know why i have no strong feelings but i i like her i think she's very pretty and very kind of modern and and i like her i it started um i just started doing the instagram just to amuse myself you know no other reason it was just kind of like around because i've been on twitter for years and i had a popular twitter account but twitter became so political and it's so completely about trump all the time and politics and it's just not fun you know it used to be a very fun place and i used to have fun there with my friends and other people you know and it was just kind of just a place to put my thoughts out and be silly so i kind of backed away from it just because you if it's not fun I don't I don't need I don't need it and I started on Instagram just kind of moved

I was like I moved my kind of stuff over there I was like let's see what it's like over here because Brad was always like you should go on Instagram I'm like another thing that I have to learn and then find you know and people on Instagram to follow I was like I don't need that but so I started kind of doing it and I started mixing it with a little bit of memes mostly texts posts and then and it was popular and people were kind of I was like oh it was kind of clicking along i like this is kind of fun i was kind of doing similar i was doing a twitter and then i saw one day these pictures of prince george it was his first day at school so this was started in september so what are we in may so it started in september when he went to his first day at school

and they released these pictures of him and i was like and i just happened to see them and i thought oh my god i love this kid looks so cute and the faces he makes are so genius and his little school uniform so i just posted like one picture of him and i don't even remember what the comment was and it got like like nothing like even less than you know got less than my normal post would be and i didn't do anything it was like weeks went by and then i did another one because i there was enough pictures and i and in my head i was thinking can i do two of these like i'm already meanwhile now i've done like 500 but then i was like can i do two and then i did a couple more and it was kind of like so i would do them occasionally just him he was like shaking

hands with the school teacher and i did one where then he's afterwards he's sniffing his half-ingers and I just put the pictures together and I was like, ew, smells like commoners or something like that. So his personality was forming but it was still very occasional and then when Meghan Markle was announced that she was marrying Prince Harry

I was like, oh, George isn't going to like this. You know, George does not like the spotlight taken off him and putting on an American who's also kind of, you know, a C-list actress kind of a thing. He wouldn't like that

and I just put them together side-by-side photos and I think the first one was something like there's one star in this family and it took off like from then I was like oh people really responded and I was like maybe I can do you know some more so it kind of happened organically yeah it just happened and then it became kind of its own thing and and I started thinking about it in a different way I started thinking about it in a bigger way kind of his universe started expanding and I and I started I started treating it, I think, not even intentionally at first, but as my own TV series, like a TV series that I'm doing on Instagram. And I think that's also why people have responded to it.

I don't think anybody's thinking in terms like this is a little show on Instagram. But that's the way I'm kind of that's the way I've kind of approach it. So on the thirst level, I mean, I'm pretty thirsty and you obviously are around celebrities all the time. So, you know, the first love in Hollywood. But, you know, Megan was so thirsty before this. Like this is the really the perfect place for her to be in the royal family. Yeah. I mean, ready to be the most famous woman in the world. Well, she you know, the irony is it's kind of, you know, and I and I feel like I like her. I don't have any – I think the fact that she was – if she was ambitious or if she kind of wanted to meet him and is interested in this and kind of like – there's nothing wrong with it.

Good for her, yeah. Yeah, I kind of think exactly good for her because it worked. She did it, and I think that there's something that to me that's quintessentially American. It's very like, look, we're all here because we have a certain amount of chutzpah. so I don't ever I appreciate that Lisa Rinna Lisa Rinna has a really great sense of humor about herself and she's a go-getter, she's a hustler

she says that, that's part of her shtick and I respect that in people I respect when people work for what it is that they get and go on out so I don't know her but she seems like an actress who's worked hard and has a lot of not great credits which have been great for me

but you know I feel like you know more power to her good for you but people think that i personally don't like her and i don't i actually don't like that i actually don't like when people misread the playfulness is george doesn't like her he doesn't like her because he's threatened by somebody else who's getting attention that he's not so whether or not the level of thirst that she has i don't know and i'm sure there is something in that but it's it you know what do you think kate thinks someone Someone asked the question the other day if you think Kate's jealous.

Do I think Kate is jealous? I would say probably a little. You know, something. It seems like she's probably going to have a little bit of an easier time. But Kate's also, if you're looking at the tears of the royal family, she's going to be the queen and her son is going to be the king. So their family is the notch above. They're good to go. yeah they're they're fine yeah they're fine but i feel like ever since megan came on the scene

kate is looking dowdy well she's been really pregnant yeah here she's been pregnant she's gonna really turn it no no no she is gonna be snatched and she is gonna wear white i'm not talking about body i'm not talking about body but like i remember when kate first came into the family and her and william were first together you were like oh this new princess she's such a breath of fresh air but megan comes in and megan's like a hurricane well megan's a whole other thing too i think kate was closer to what that was yeah you know to the you know she didn't wear stockings and she's part but she's she traveled in those circles to say you know it wasn't such a shock yeah such a stretch but you know megan is divorced she's in her mid-30s she's not even an actress

where you could be like, let's all watch her, you know, it's just kind of like the fourth lead on Suits for seven years. It's just, that sounds like a slog. Girl, I feel you. You know, that kind of thing. But I like that there's something kind of fun about it. It feels like this kind of, like you said, like this hurricane kind of coming in. But again, it's like I'm not even, well, not again.

I didn't say it the first time. I'm not a big, I'm not a royal watcher. I'm not anything. I find things fascinating where people take themselves very seriously. So I always like a British expression. And I know Brits. I love Brits. I'm an Anglophile.

I've spent a lot of time there. I love anything British. I'm very fascinated with it. So in that respect, I am. But there is something fun. They use the expression to take the piss out. Take the bit when people. And I feel like me being a little bit one step removed and being American allows me to kind of look at it in a way.

That I don't think they would feel comfortable looking at it and kind of – so it allows me to satirize it, I think, from a place where I can look at it a bit differently. That, like, it's interesting that an American person is doing this and really having fun with it in a way that a Brit isn't at all. And I think it's somehow wired into them that whether or not they agree with it or don't agree with it or are a royalist or not, that it's something that it's a tricky thing for them to satirize in a way without— Because it comes with so much baggage. And it comes with zero baggage for us. Right. You're like, whatever. Correct.

What do you and Brad think she's going to wear for the wedding? Was Brad talking about it? Is he like, she should wear this designer, she should wear this kind of thing? No, he hasn't talked about it. Because he's, like, a real gown kind of guy. Like, he puts some real beautiful gowns on people. Yeah, he hasn't really. I mean, I think she's going to look stunning, actually.

I mean, I would be. She's a beautiful woman. And I think usually she. I do find it interesting, though. I don't think she looks great a lot of the time out. Like, she doesn't put. And it's mostly the tailoring of her clothes. Yeah.

Which, like, it feels very not. Polished. Not polished enough. you know the tail it feels a little i think yeah i think her hair it looks pretty i think it's just also sometimes you're seeing you know situations where outside windy a thing you know or something like that yeah yeah i also think she's lost a shit ton of weight before this wedding so she's like swimming in her little skinny pants i'm like yeah but you know and i i feel i know i kind of i feel for it must be kind of tricky when yeah every everybody is watching the other

It's what she wanted, Gary. But you're right. I mean, look, I don't know her. But I mean, it would appear that way. She's not enough for this. Anyway. Come on. Well, I guess my thing is that when you're an A-list actress and you're on this global stage, you get everything for free.

All these clothes. Yeah, they don't get it for free, though. And you have a stylist. Royals. They have to pay for it. Right. She has to pay for it. Wait, what?

She's paying for that tailoring. But she's not paying. Why do they have to pay for it? They're not allowed, right? Yeah. The Commonwealth can't pay. Like, you can't. The British public isn't going to.

yeah oh yeah you can't gift right and then like gucci can't be like here's our new collection then by the way everybody would be gifting them all the time with everything so that you have to kind of well it's not like they're a bit short of money do we think that like at what point because this is always my question when women get with powerful men or wealthy men or whatever but but for megan at what point did she put her credit cards away her wallet she stopped taking her wallet anyway you know what I mean

when everything is just done for you now everything is free is that happened that happened the moment she probably got engaged right probably

engaged yeah I mean I'm sure it comes with a price you know that's gonna be God you have such compassion

don't be so compassionate well he has to cause he trolls her all day he has to be like extra compassionate it sounds funny it sounds so funny

that I don't want but I do I like her You know, I think also in my head, at least, you know, it's and I appreciate no, not we're friends. You know, I can appreciate that people have a hard time differentiating certain things. I've created a completely fictitious world. So I this is a world. This is a fictitious world, a universe.

So I can separate something. This is I'm writing it. Like I said, if I'm thinking of this as writing a TV show. So it's not personal. for me so I also don't think in terms of like you know oh I really like this person or I really don't like this person it's just like

they're all fictionalized so I'm not even thinking I'm not even really thinking about them other than the fact that I kind of like them because you have to like someone to troll them I like that you keep saying to troll them I don't think of it as that but I guess

you know if you looked at my phone it's pretty trolly the stuff that is you like the just the text with the typewriter that's very much you right the

again a part of you you know it's a has to be some part of you yeah yeah but it you know it's a character

yeah you know it's a character so even like Twitter it's a character I mean look you're all I'm sure being character versions of yourselves

right now when you're on this you know maybe it's a heightened version of yourself or whatever so it's that thing but so it's kind of like

I've created a character like people will send me comments or things I'd love to sit in a Starbucks with you and just tear apart everybody as they come in.

And I'm like, I don't do that. You're like, I'm by myself. That's why we invited you here, Gary. You're reading everybody and ripping everybody apart. No. Although I would watch that show. Oh, my God. You should pitch that instantly.

But I would be like, I would be such a horrible person. And that also, you have to kind of, the things that I'm doing, you know, it takes time. I'm crafting them and I'm thinking of them and every word is chosen. I don't really, off the top of my head, just, and usually that kind of stuff sounds like, you know, just terrible and not funny. Now, since you've become an Instagram icon, has your day rate gone up? Are you like, you want me to work on Family Guy? Double that salary, bitches. It's kind of, it's just, I just do it as a hobby.

It's just fun. To me, it's like doing the crossword puzzle. Your agents aren't like, he's very in demand. Have you seen the Instagram? Well, I think I'm at a place where it's not like I'm 25. Do you know what I mean? You don't need it. Yeah, it's just a side thing that's fun.

It's literally kind of like a game for me. And the fact that it became such a thing is just kind of silly. I say it became such a thing, but it has. I get recognized for it. People stop me, and I'm like, huh. You're like, I have a whole career. No, but I like it. It's kind of funny.

I get a kick out of it. People are probably waiting for your coverage of the royal baby. I know. Like, I wait for Housewives reunions. Oh, cannot wait. Do you feel pressure? A little. Today, the royal baby was born.

I know. The third baby was born today. So it was all, I woke up, and my phone was like, I can't wait. I'm just like, ugh. Can we discuss why she has to crawl out of her hospital bed with a blowout? Well, they always do that, right? If they show the baby. She's the poor thing.

But why does she have to do that? Let her live. I know. Let Kate live. It just feels like that. She is owned by the people. Yeah. Yeah.

Selling a dream. Now, does Prince George think that Meghan and Harry will stay married? Don't they have to? Does Prince George? They don't. No way. His grandparents didn't. I forgot about that.

Do I? No, he doesn't think so. He definitely doesn't think so. All right. So we're going to play. And he'll do everything he can to end it. Does he think that they're actually in love? or is this some sort of a setup?

No, he thinks it's like the talented Mr. Ripley. He thinks that she's basically kind of been plotting that she's put on this persona. Been plotting this since she was a kid, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Great. Yeah, and he's on to her. All right.

So I thought it would be really fun, since we are here with Prince George today, to do a little bit of a Allegedly What's Happening with Prince George. So Allegedly What's Happening is one of our most popular segments where we talk about sort of hot topics of the week. Okay.

Now Becca will be playing Becca Tobin. Jack will be playing Jack Vanek. I'll be playing the part of Kelty Knight. And you will be playing Gary Jannetty, the part of Prince George. Oh, I don't know. Okay. I'll try to be game, but this isn't, like... This is not his thing.

Well, I don't know if it's his thing. Okay, we'll see. If it's not, you can play as Gary Jannetty. I might be his spokesperson. Do you want to play as Gary Jannetty? You could be his spokesperson. Can I be his spokesperson? Sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll just talk about it. I love that we're, like, going into it so much. Okay. All right. First topic for Allegedly What's Happening. Tristan and Chloe. Ah.

Oh, okay. I didn't know it was going to be, like, pop culture topics. Yeah. Kardashians. Do you want to hear my theory? Do you want to hear my theory? About that? Yeah, here's my theory.

So the affairs happened, allegedly, months ago. Like October, right? You're telling me Kris Jenner wasn't feeling like her little baby wasn't getting enough press, and there wasn't enough excitement surrounding Chloe's baby and Chris's 87th grandchild and she's like, we gotta drum up some stuff

and we need team Chloe and we need everybody to be supporting her, so she held on to that little piece of TMZ nugget and she waited until the day before, I mean you guys, this doesn't happen, the day before George would agree

George would agree and George would George would have yes he would have he has mad respect for Kris Jenner get it girl

she's a genius she's completely she probably kept that from Khloe oh gosh but wasn't it okay so wasn't it TMZ had the original one

from like October right and then didn't another outlet drop another cheating thing something something

I don't remember the logistics all I know is that it was an old video and I was very confused as to why it was now coming out yeah

with them being so connected to the press and also the baby was crowning I just don't understand why this idiot doesn't think anybody is going to see it was like in public well they weren't as serious at the time right I don't know

she had to have been pregnant at that time I will tell you something about basketball players it doesn't matter if you don't even know who they are when they go into a club or a restaurant you see them they're 6'9 when you see that person their shoes are bigger than my car like you see them walk in and you're like, that's somebody.

Yeah, you know who it is. Okay, next. Moron. Ariana Grande has purple hair. Jack? I actually saw her at Coachella. I don't care. What am I supposed to say?

Is it a game? Do we have to say something or something? No, it's not a game. It's just, what do you think? I'm really happy with Ariana Grande's, you know, comeback. Not that it's really a comeback, but she used to be everywhere. She went away.

I think it was really smart of her to take a little time away. I'm also very thrilled. I don't care about the hair or whatever. I'm thrilled that she looks like she's healthier. And, yes, that does mean bigger, guys. When people say you look healthier, it means you're fatter. She's not fat. I'm not calling her fat.

She's so thin. But she was really, really scary skinny, and she is a role model for a lot of young girls. So I'm happy she came back a little bit, like, curvier. Cute. What does Prince George think of that purple hair? George loves Ariana Grande. He would. Ben Shorts loves Ariana Grande.

Yeah, he definitely would. He's a massive fan. He loves her new single. He's crazy about it. He loves her new hair. He did prefer her a little thinner. Of course he did. Yeah.

While he understands and respects that it is healthier body image for young women who are her fans, it's just visually not as pleasing for him to look at. She doesn't look like a Polly Pocket. Yeah, yeah. And that's the Ari that he prefers. The Ari. I love it. Ari.

Okay. kate hudson is pregnant with a baby girl jack has no opinion jack your answer can't be i don't care for every one of these are you happy it's a baby girl it's her third baby she's never had a girl before deep you don't care i'm happy i'm happy that she's having a girl but here's what i'm sad about i'm sad she didn't have time to grow out her hair yeah where's her hair out right now it's in an awkward place it's in that I thought I knew exactly what it was like in my mind. Yeah, because Kate Hudson's gorgeous, and she could pull that off.

She took it too far, though. You know what I mean? When people are like, you could shave your head and be beautiful. You can't shave your head and also gain 70 pounds, because she's someone who gains a lot of weight when she's pregnant. So I just am upset that she did this to herself. Do you think she should have just kept it shaved while pregnant? I don't know.

Maybe just waited to get pregnant. I don't know. Maybe it would. George doesn't know who that is. she's not his he's not famous enough I'm happy for her I'm always really happy when someone

that has multiple babies and keeps having all boys or all girls gets the opposite sex who's she married to? this guy is Danny Fujikawa is her baby daddy, she's not married it's Aaron and Sarah Foster's stepbrother, brother, they're connected

they're all family now Ben Affleck has been seen on the beach with his giant risen-from-the-ashes-phoenix tattoo at the Tobin. I haven't seen the tattoo. Oh, boy. Oh, my God. Is it a midlife crisis? Wait, is it new?

It has to be. You can get it. Let me tell you the whole story. It's his whole back. He had the tattoo. Oh, no. It was hidden. He told the press it was fake and was for a role.

Oh. Then he was recently seen on the beach on vacation with Jen Garner, and it's still there, so it's not for a role. Did he lose a bet? is a phoenix rising up from the ash can you can you google it yeah i need a visual i mean it is his wild tattoo yes and it's colorful it's primary colors so he's so embarrassed it's the bluest of the blue he's so embarrassed that he is saying it's fake but like that tattoo takes so long so also probably many sessions it's so bad and on that back oh but like you had time to think about

this and decide that it was a bad idea so many times i want to know when he got that like what was happening a while back during the divorce that's not like a while back i thought you meant like oh in his 20s no no no no this is a new thing this is this this stage of his life benna oh my god oh my god that's awful it's also just looks like a bad tattoo that's the thing but apparently the guy who did this is like a really good tattoo artist someone has told me that Becca what are your thoughts I don't even

I mean that's like a cry for help I don't know I don't know do you need help Ben like what's going on poor Ben I think he needs

yeah what does Prince George feel George feels that Ben Affleck ruined Batman oh no George feels that

he shouldn't have a better body than Batman I don't think he does I don't think not anymore remember when ben affleck was so hot when he was dating jennifer lopez so hot oh no he's tall sorry big difference yeah sorry do you two do you get him confused no i i don't get confused

but i know when somebody is getting it confused like when they think somebody like the property brothers are good looking oh no they're just tall it's true they're just off they were five seven you'd be like oh get out of here i'm usually that person but even i agree i had a girl that was a girlfriend of mine that was dating one of the property brothers and she was very good looking she's like a beautiful broadway dancer stunning and he ghosted her so hard like so hard i'm thinking they have such the one that just recently got engaged or married i don't know the difference they're twins how can you ask me which one one seems gayer than the other yeah you're right and it's the one that wasn't married yet dancing with the stars drew

Okay. Yeah, maybe. We don't know. All right, next. Rihanna has entered the world of lingerie designer. She's designing a new line of Fenty lingerie. Jack? I like everything.

Doesn't care. No, I do. I like everything Rihanna does. And I think that she would be one of those people that would make sure that it's in sizes for every girl, colors that, like, worked on every girl. Like, I think that she's very inclusive with her shit. I appreciate that. Would you pay $20 more for a crotchless panty if it had Rihanna's name on it?

I don't know how often I'm buying crotchless panties, but yes. Have you ever owned a crotchless panty? No. Have you? Yeah, it's fun. I feel like that seems weird. Have you ever had one? No.

Why don't you just pull it to the side? Why not just not wear underwear? Yeah. There's something sexy about it. Okay, well. Like your vagina being smushed into like. George is uncomfortable. George is definitely uncomfortable.

This is too. He needs earmuffs right now. George's like, Gary is like, I cannot visualize. You're like, George is fine. Gary is uncomfortable. Does George want to talk about it? Not really. George loves Rihanna.

He does. Yes, he loves Rihanna. He loves that she's doing a lingerie line. Great. Yeah, he's there for it. He's into it. Hell yeah. He's completely there for it.

I love George. You know what's going to be so upsetting when George really starts talking? I know, and he's not you. And it's not you. And what's the worst is going to be when he goes through his grade four stage where he It just says the two front teeth and braces. I don't know what I'm going to do. What are you going to do?

I don't know. Maybe you can be Prince. What's this one's name? Do we know? Not yet. No, he's not been named yet. Oh. No, are you at Becca?

I have four days or something. Are you out of your mind? I know. No, I'm not going to switch it to the other one. No, it's only George. George is going to be king. Nobody else will ever speak. I love when George called Charlotte a dumb potato.

That's the best insult. Oh, my God. Don't make me laugh. he doesn't like anybody he loves the queen but he uses her he doesn't really like the queen now

he wants her dead can you believe how long this queen is living how old is she 92 no Charles is like fuck this

he's gonna be king for two minutes and then he's gonna die and then he's gonna have a heart attack and then it's sad William's in no basically George

is just at home like this just waiting just waiting but all the royal family lives so long the queen mom lived to like 110 what

you know you know Charles is not gonna live that long no he doesn't look healthy no cause George isn't gonna let him he's sure he's gonna get him

yeah he's gonna poison him somehow oh my god this one you gotta go Mike Jessman okay Mike Jessman won too okay

um Robin Thicke's girlfriend April Love was trolled this week on Instagram because she posted a picture of her

breastfeeding in full hair and makeup and the women of the world were like how dare you breastfeed in makeup and hair what wait why are i don't get it people postpartum are upset okay i've seen it it's an ugly sight and cheers to charlie's theorem i thought she had a body situation double or like um body prosthetics for that new movie tully where she's postpartum she gained 50 pounds like for real for real Anyway, sorry to sidetrack, but that's really what postpartum looks like, is, like, sloppy. So you don't get to wash your hair.

So the moms are mad because she was going out for dinner and she was too beautiful. Well, here's the thing. I think it's bullshit that they're trolling her. She should just be able to live her life. But I think that women who, A, don't have the means to have their hair and makeup done professionally or have a nanny to allow them to take a shower. Yeah. I think that it's just they're a little bit— Sensitive.

Sensitive. And maybe they're just feeling like they're not being represented. Moms need to calm down. Moms definitely are on edge. My mom barely ever even saw us. I think years went by. She had no idea where I was, what I was doing. They didn't interact with us all that much when I was a kid in Queens.

Who took care of you? You know, they weren't, like, so fixated on us the way that parents are fixated on the kids now. Yeah, no. Yeah, we were kind of left to our own devices a lot. How many kids were in your family? Just me and my sister. Okay. What does she do?

She's a teacher. Oh, okay. What does Prince George think of breastfeeding photos on Instagram? Oh, God. He thinks that Instagram should delete them. They should be taken off of Instagram. That's offensive. Report it as inappropriate.

It's very inappropriate. Boobs. They're horrible. Jack, what do you think? I can't imagine being any person with any sort of a following trying to be a mother these days. like you cannot do anything i saw some picture somebody had posted of their baby like in a car seat but it was literally just the baby's head like really cropped photo and there are these people trolling about the type of car seat they're using and god forbid you're such a terrible parent

because there's recalls on this and stuff and it's like chill out this is not your kid or your responsibility for what's happening to it like live your own damn life but i mean if there is a recall maybe you should i don't know if it was actually a recall but it was something just talking shit on the car seat, and I'm like, but they're screaming at this mom for being a bad mom when she probably had no idea. She's not going to buy a bad car seat. P.S. We didn't even have seatbelts when I

grew up, okay? Yeah. No, they had seatbelts when you grew up. No. Totally. My dad had a 1962 Chevy. Okay, well, that was a vintage car. We definitely didn't have seatbelts. No, when I was a kid. That wasn't even the thing. You're not. Okay, two last ones. Two last ones. Zane,

our favorite one-word One Direction guy got a head tattoo. Was it of somebody else's face on his face? He just got through a breakup with Gigi Hadid. Yes. Can you Google Zayn's tattoo please, Jordan?

Where on his head? Underneath hair? No, he's a shaved head. But hair will grow over the tattoo at some point. If you want, yeah. That's not as bad. It's not on his face. It's not a teardrop. I need to see the tattoo.

Is Prince George going to get any ink? I see. Oh. But that does go down on his face. Yeah, yeah. That cannot be covered up. It's in a... Even if he grows his hair out, you're going to see it.

It's a... His temple. His sideburn. Sideburn tattoo. What is it? It's his mom. It's his mom? It just says mom.

Oh, oh, oh. That's original. Like, it's a picture of his mom. It is a face on a face. George loves it. George loves Zayn. George loves Zayn. Yeah, George loves ink.

Yeah. He loves ink. Is he going to get some ink? Yes. What's he going to get, you think? He doesn't know yet. He's a Pinterest board? Yeah.

He doesn't know yet. This is the future of tattoos. Yeah, he's got it. Maybe that. Right, mom? He doesn't know. He doesn't know. I feel like George might wear an anklet on a beach trip.

With a dolphin charm? Yes. Puka shells. Surfing with dad. I think George lives to surprise, is this kind of thing. His thing is, you don't know me, you know? It's like he really wants to kind of stand out in a crowd. He's always got to be shocking.

And be himself, yeah. And he loves Zayn and he loves One Direction. Of course. And if Zayn says that it's cool to get a head tattoo, then George is there for it, I think. I wish someone did this for me when I was a toddler, just created who I was going to be, so I could live up to that. I know, they should be f***ing thanking me. You're making him more interesting than he's ever going to be. He's going to be the worst boring kid.

What if they invite you, future king? I was at the grocery store the other day, and I saw one of the grocery store magazines, and George was on it. And I was like, why do they have a picture of George? Who said they could use that? I'm so surprised. No, he asked his mom. I'm like, that's mine. You need to trademark Prince George.

It was my first reaction. This is my IP. That's so, that's how dare they. What if in like six months we get like a TMZ report that Gary Jannetty's been institutionalized because he's had a mental break. Or he's been arrested for stalking. He's only identifying with as being Prince George. What if they stop letting you into London? Like you try to fly.

And they're like, you're not allowed. Yeah, I'm going to be there soon. You are? I know. Hello. I'm here. Royalty, hello. But, like, what if they invite you somewhere?

What if who invites me somewhere? The royal family. They're not going to. What if Megan's, like, loved the promotion you did for me? It's true. You're making her way more interesting, too. Thank you. You are.

You should. You're helping. You know, I'm definitely, it's a narrative that's running alongside the other one. But it gives it, you know, I think somebody needs to kind of just be silly about this. It's so insane also how serious it's all taken. It's so serious. If you really think about it, it's nonsense. The fact that we have a royal family and that we're saying these are royalty and princes.

It's all, it's 2018. Yeah. It's so kind of crazy that we're all still on board in this and nobody can kind of just be like, but this is ridiculous. So I think it's fun that, you know, something goes alongside it and that kind of takes the piss out. Well, I mean, people wake up at, like, 3 a.m. in the U.S. to watch the royal wedding. Oh, yeah, I know. Oh, that's so lame. Well, Princess Diana, though.

Well, Princess Diana. That's a whole other. That was a whole other thing. That was a whole other thing. No one has met that. No. No. No.

So good. Do you watch The Crown? No. Oh, jeez. Is it amazing? I tried to, but I can't get into it. What? Kelty.

Oh, my God. I have a headache. I know. I need to. You don't watch it? It's amazing. Wait, what channel is it on? The channel Netflix.

Dreaming. I'm going to have to watch it. It's brilliant. But in a few seasons, they'll get to, and I think not a few, like the next one or the one after it, Diana. Yeah, because it starts when she becomes queen, which she was Queen Elizabeth, I think at 23 or something like that, very young. Oh, wow.

Damn. But the reason I didn't watch it is because it does bore me, that whole royal whatever. The show won't bore me, even though I'm not into the royals. It won't bore you. I don't know. Are there subtitles by you available? Prince George's face just pops up in the corner

and gives a commentary what a pop up video pop up George oh my god I have a great idea I have a it might not be great it might just be okay

or terrible what if you made made a video where you're doing George's commentary like while we're watching the royal wedding

what if you took a snippet from it people have asked about like am I going to do commentary at the wedding the thing is you need to picture

you need to hear in your head what he sounds like it's you so everybody but it isn't really do you know what I'm saying like I think it would be

disappointing it's like seeing Rosemary's baby no it'd be like the honey badger it wouldn't be disappointing you don't want to I feel like it would be

amazing if it's you I do too I mean look at but he's in the wedding too so he can't be commented I'll think about it I'll think about it but I just feel like

it might be like it might ruin it all what if you just did an insta story it didn't even have to live there it could go for 24 hours and you could just do

you'd have to wake up at like 3am no I'm gonna be in London oh my god Oh, so you don't have to. Wait, so Brad's styling Meghan? No. But he's going to be there, too.

What? In London? Yeah, he's going to be in London. Because he's styling... He's not styling anybody. He's not there. He's not styling. No, he's doing commentary for E!

Oh! Great. Well, then, can you please be instastorying and just maybe... I'm going to be there, too, Gare. Are you? Yeah, if I'm fascinated, I was in the office. What are you going to be there for? For Entertainment Tonight.

Oh, cool. For the wedding? I'm doing commentary. Oh, yeah. So is Brad. So you'll be in Windsor, then. I'll be in London, not in Windsor. I'm going to be in London for two weeks, or London for a week, and then I'll be out in Slough.

Oh, Slough. Yeah. So shitty there. Okay. But that time of year, it's so beautiful, too. It's the best time, and everybody's all excited because it's warm, and it gets light, late, and then everybody's drinking out in the streets. Yeah.

Oh, that's my dream. It's super fun. All right. When we come back, Gary, the real Gary, will stand up and help us figure out our lives. and we are back do you want to help answer questions as yourself or as prince george little prince it's like a dear abby situation yeah yeah okay we're giving advice we're helping people with their lives i'll say can i say answering as gary or answering as you can deal as per question okay okay thanks double trouble okay our first question comes from sydney sydney says my boyfriend dated

this girl for about a year but was still close to her for another six months after they broke up and were hooking up but not official him and i started dating about five months after that and she would constantly call and text him our relationship was still new so obviously i didn't say anything she continued to call and text him for the next four months and she constantly stalked me and followed and unfollowed my boyfriend to try to get him to follow her back fast forward to summer my boyfriend and i broke up for literally 24 hours but within the first minute of him changing his profile picture to just him she followed him and instantly she followed him instantly and then he followed her and immediately they are texting and snapchatting i constantly stalk her now i don't

even know why because i hate her and it's not like i want to see what she's up to why am i so obsessed with stalking her and why can't she stop trying to get with my boyfriend because we've been dating for over a year damn first of all why is your boyfriend following her back question number one that's a big question big no-no that's a big no-no yeah no you can't follow your exes you cannot follow your exes there's probably some residual shit happening there because it's like go through his phone yeah why would he or like immediately follow her back when you broke up for 24 hours like you his first thought was i got i am yeah i am not a big snooper i really don't condone it unless it's a situation where it fit if it walks like a duck you know it's all there

and I think this maybe you should super sleuth this and because I do think you might find something if it quacks like a duck if it quacks isn't it if it walks

like a duck no quacks like a duck but isn't it if it walks like a duck it sounds like a duck it's a duck that's I'm gonna google this

it's probably a duck okay I mean quacks like a duck sounds better Gary what do you think Prince George Gary I think wait who was answering

we have Prince George and Gary who think that she needs to break up with him that it's just like it's not happening yeah right

you can just tell there's too much in that there's too much in that letter and also but I feel badly but you know move on move it along

the correct correct quote is if it looks like a duck swims like a duck and quacks like a duck and it's probably a duck we're both right no you were right

I said if it walks like a duck what is there no walks looks and swims but you were right that it did another thing it did things like a duck does I thought

I thought if it was it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck I think it's way off honestly if I'm gonna if I'm gonna it looks like and sounds like another thing

besides a duck. Yeah, exactly. Usually you just go down if it quacks like a duck you just shorten it to it but it is if it looks like a duck

it looks like a duck it quacks like a duck. I know because people say things wrong and then you get That's my favorite thing. And that's what reality TV has done.

It's made everybody say things wrong all the time and then people think that's the correct thing and it goes from generation to generation. So I just sit watching

Housewives watching all we screwed up all the idioms and all of our grammar and everything's a mess and now that's all become the real thing anymore.

What is like I love when the Housewives f*** up things. I like things like that. Oh, yeah. That would have been my housewife moment, but that is my favorite because they all do. They all do. And they make sure to air them all.

Yeah. They're like, star. Like in that footage. Sound bite. We did one, though, when I, because Brad had a reality show that I was on on Bravo, and I was always joking about to all the housewives who mangling in the English language, and it just drives me insane. Sometimes, you know, the incorrect grammar and the words and everything, but I, you know,

I kind of would make fun of it. And then I did it myself on the show, like a word that wasn't a word. Oh, no. And I forget the word, but it drove me insane. Nobody noticed it. I did it in an interview. And then I was like, that's not a word. It wasn't supposedly, you know, but it was almost as bad.

Or irregardless. No, it wasn't as bad as that. But it was one. But it was, to me, I was like, I did it. I'm a housewife. I was like, I am one of you. Exactly. And I was like, I will own it.

You shouldn't listen to this podcast at all. Yeah, no, but my point is I do it too. I mean, once in your whole life. I bet it's only for everybody. We've probably done it like a dozen times. Kelty loves to do a hybrid of a word. And a mispronunciation. Always.

But she's Canadian. I'm very dumb. And I think that Canadians... I'm from the country. Brad's Canadian too. I know. We'll be smart, though. I think you have different pronunciations, maybe.

Oh, yeah, you know, I'm from the... No, seriously, I'm dumb. Like, I graduated high school early. I had just enough credits. and then I went into show business. You dance on a cruise ship? I've only gotten by on my charisma, charm, uniqueness, and talent. And high kick.

And my high kick. That's all I have. I totally pretend that I'm smarter than I actually am. I do too. But you sound smart. I think you might be smart. I'm a hustler, but I'm not smart. You have to be smart to write comedy successfully.

There's all different kinds of intelligence we're talking about. all right there's there's we're all we're all intelligent in different ways we were thinking of it in a way that's very literal you know you did well in school that equals intelligence and you know it's just one part of it jack has to spell check my use of commas well i hate the incorrect use of a comma and you can also stick them most anywhere by the way you can comma you can stick them a lot of places comma i don't know you should see some of these okay well now i can't you all because i have a left-handed text and they're like the shortest you know you're in your of course and you know they're there no we would not you're your we wouldn't even be friends yeah

if you didn't know that i think i would have already just jumped that's a that's a big what's next jack next question comes from an honest yeah i hate sorry then and then then and then oh oh like oh my god i'm so much cuter than her and it's a thg and i want to put it further and farther also kill me too but that's further and farther do you know what tricky one too no further is anything that no farther is anything with distance or that's tangible and further is anything that's not right like we're not to discuss this any further but can somebody please that i've been wondering this for a very long time okay i'm going okay lie and lay oh that's how do you I don't know.

Or I lied. Or I laid. Wait, hold on. Let's ask Jordan since she has a full ride at USC. Jordan's a smart one. What's the difference? Oh, my gosh. Now that I'm saying it, I'm really self-conscious that it's going to be wrong.

But are you right? I think so. It's you lay down, L-A-Y. I'm going to lay down. And to lie, L-I-E, is like a verb. Is that your question? And you don't lie. But what about if I said lay, that's a verb.

lay lay laid i think is the let me pull is it i'm going to lie down or i'm going to lay down yeah i'm going to lie down and lie down no no you lay you lie down and you lay something else down i think oh god okay i think if it were and if it was oh it's if it were if it's so you know if it was people always say if it was if it was but it's not if it were oh how do you use whom sometimes People use him or her, right? Isn't that, you can say him or her. It's whom? To whom it may concern.

Whom, I don't know. There's something about whom. Sometimes I think people use whom just to sound smarter. They do. Usually it's whom. No, there's a real thing. By the way, usually it's whom. We've just shortened it to who.

Like, I don't know who's coming on the podcast today. I should say, I don't know. No, no, no. Who's like a past? I was wrong. I found the lay lie. Oh, shit. Tell us.

Okay, tell us. All right, okay, so you lie down on the sofa. I said the wrong thing. You L-I-E down on the sofa. No direct object. But you lay the book down on the table. L-A-Y. I was right.

There's also the expression lay down with dogs, isn't it? Or is it lie down with dogs? Lay with dogs. If you lie with dogs. Is it lie down with dogs? It's probably wrong. If you lie with dogs. We're on such a tangent, guys.

Okay. We need to go back. 800 people just turned off their podcasts. Well, if anybody wanted a grammar lesson, you're welcome. That was wrong. I listened to you. I'll turn it off, too. See you over there.

They already knew. Okay, second question comes from Anonymous. Anonymous says, my fiancé and I have recently moved into our first place before he had moved into my apartment. So they got their first place together. We were fighting a lot about decorating our place. He says my taste is too, quote unquote, girly, but his is so bland and boring. He won't compromise on anything about house decorations when I already compromised on so much, including where we live. Any ideas on how to make this work so I don't feel like I'm living in a bachelor pad?

Whenever you get a new piece of furniture, just be naked on it when he comes home. And he'll be like, I like that desk that I just fucked you on. I don't know. That's nice. Yeah. Who decorates your homes? Whom decorates yours? We have...

A decorator. No, we work together with it. And actually, we've worked with somebody, too, who's a longtime friend of mine who we kind of work with. But we have similar tastes. That's good. Yeah, we have a really good taste. We have great taste. I feel like if he can't meet you halfway, then you should not be living with him or marry him.

Like, you need someone that's like, what would make you happy, my princess queen child? Also, like, if his taste is so bland and boring, like, most men don't really care about interior decoration. Like, he should just not give a shit. Yeah, but also you don't, as a man, you don't want to live in something that's really girly, you know? In this studio? Like, in this room? Yeah, you know, you need to, it can be both. Like, it can be, a space can be.

I hate when I go if you can tell sometimes if you go to a friend's place and the woman in the relationship has really made it something that feels

so hers so he feels like like second queer eye second queer eye it's queer eye yeah I love the new queer eye

you having a queer eye here I hear that's two Anthony we can't tell you we can't tell you it's a big secret oh yeah

we can't announce it on the podcast we'll tell you after we're so we have a big secret coming I would say Is this a pick-your-battle situation?

Is this just his battle that he chooses? Or is he like this about everything? Because my husband is very opinionated, but he picks his battles, and decorating our house was one of them. So you sort of have to trick and manipulate. Please explain more of this trick and manipulation. Let me tell you my recent trickery. uh we were picking out tile new moroccan like cement tile for our entryway and there's a color

that's called mocha but it's a blush color okay if you with the naked eye you would you would name that tile blush somehow i think because they knew this would happen they are geniuses they called it mocha and we are about to have a pink floor in our home maybe is he colorblind And he's a little, maybe it looks mocha to him. Yeah, my eyes are off a little bit. Yeah, it's a little off. I'd be like, I guess it's mocha. Do you like it?

Is it so pretty? It's beautiful. That's actually the best thing for women because most men, their colors are off. It's true. So it's like they just believe whatever it's called. It's like when the sizing has changed. Certain designers use different sizing to make people feel better. Skinnier.

That's true. So smart. Yep. Okay. Do you think they're doing that to Ari right now? Changing her tags out? Yes. somebody's doing it

so she doesn't have a full blown panic attack savage two zero put a zero double zero double zero

remember when you used to buy double zeros Jesus oh yeah that was my whole life what is that like Gary we don't have

the zeros nice Brazilian sizes before I went through puberty yeah that's awesome okay our last question comes from Carrie Carrie says

this is good I recently found out that my very non-famous entrepreneur ex-boyfriend of five years purchased an instagram bot to help build his quote-unquote personal brand we haven't been together for the past two years but constantly find ourselves falling back into each other's lives and beds due to the very inconvenient fact that we travel in the same pack of friends our consistently inconsistent relationship aside and as stupid as this may sound

i feel like i just found out the person that i fell in love with died are people really this insecure how do you ladies stay grounded in the city and around people like this we don't what is even important anymore we don't know what's important is the amount of followers you have on social media i don't believe that you do not know that and a check a blue check is very important as well oh yeah i mean this is stupid it's really stupid but it's not a defining trait do you know what i mean it doesn't i don't think he the person you knew died i think he just started drinking a little too much of the

Instagram Kool-Aid. And he's trying to be successful and some people give you bad advice and they tell you that that's all it takes. And they did that article on bots.

They did. The New York Times. They uncovered them. So show him that article. Just say, hey, I was reading this interesting article about all of these celebrities

that were humiliated publicly because they had to buy followers, basically. Do you know anybody who's done this? That's weird anyway. I just thought you might want to read it.

No, you guys. One of my most savage moves of 2018. Was buying followers? No, I've never bought followers. This is why I don't have any. If I bought them, I would be, like, up with you guys. Was that my boss, we had a meeting about digital or whatever,

and then I just, like, slowly, like, sailed in that Instagram audit machine. Yes. You can put people's emails in, and there's, like, some people that I know in my life that have bought many followers. You can put many. By the way, wait. I don't know how legit that is because a mutual person that we know, that we know most of their followers are fake, doesn't come up fake. Really?

On that, yeah. Anyway. But can't you tell? But in the meeting, I was like, you know, you can tell. And then I had them, like, they got so excited, they started putting in everyone I work with's name. You can tell. I mean, you can just, if you know enough about Instagram, you can tell. You can be like, everybody that comments are, like, from India.

I feel like Prince George would condone. No, he does not. Really? No. Nothing is fake in his life. No, you have to earn every follower that you have. Watch the throt. But when he has his own Instagram.

He has his own Instagram. You're right, you're right. her sorry wait he had oh sometimes i get confused too how many followers does he have now i feel like you're like 600 000 right no almost at 300 that's no really yeah oh sorry i didn't mean to like that's a lot for him not i mean he's not wearing bikinis he's not he's you know what i mean 300 000 he's not sticking his butt out man how many does brad have 400 and change i'm gonna laugh the only reason i'm doing it is just to go past him and then i'm gonna stop and I'll be like

I'm done I'm bored have fun on your television gig I'm so bored on to the next you're on TV you're in people's

living rooms all over I'm very competitive oh my god this is amazing this is so funny I hope you can get there by London I hope you can get

there it's like race to countdown to the crown London's gonna you're gonna you're gonna crown at London I feel like you need

it's gonna be so good Sam will you help me Becca oh my god please I mean I cannot come up with anything but I will

well now that we I will cheer you on. We'll get all the Lady Gang to follow you. Actually. And this is like the perfect thing to end on. Thanks, guys. Yeah, there you go. Make note when this airs.

I know you don't care about followers, but you may get a bump from this. Yeah, see what the power of the Lady Gang is. When is it air? Tuesday. Next Tuesday. Cool. See you next Tuesday. So follow Gary Gennetti on Instagram.

Follow, like, comment, make him feel great. Help him beat his husband. Yes, yes. That's what it's about. In Instagram followers. J-E-N-E-T-T-I Correct Okay

It's great And we're gonna tweet about it We have some dum-dums out there We're gonna Instagram about it On our At the Lady Gang account too Gary thank you for coming On the show

Thanks for having me Thank you Thank you Prince George Thank you Prince George Prince George What Do you wanna tell everyone That you're gonna see us

Next Tuesday At the end of the show We say see you next Tuesday I feel like he'd be into that right See you next Tuesday Okay Perfect Yay

Woo Yay Join the Lady Gang every Tuesday at iTunes and at PodcastOne.com. That's PodcastONE.com. Thanks for listening.