LadyGang - Girls Gotta Eat

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

If both podcasts were to combine would they be Girls Gotta Gang or Ladies Gotta Eat? If it were Girls Gotta Gang, murder porn would probably be the topic of conversation for Rayna, but the real mystery would lie in the ladies trying to uncover what 50-year-old Ashley is into. And while you can’t change a man’s personality, can you change their looks? See ya wacky socks, flip flops and printed belts. Hello jorts and joggers! Check out our amazing sponsors!!! ZIVA: Use code THELADYGANG for 15% off your order at zivaus.com  European Wax Center: Visit waxcenter.com to book your reservation today and check out the new line of products — remember, your first wax is free! Starbucks: What gives YOU energy? Find YOUR Starbucks Triple Shot Energy online OR at your local store! ZocDoc: Go to Zocdoc.com/lady and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor! obé Fitness: Start your trial today at obefitness.com and use code LADYGANG to get one month free! Arrae: Use code LADYGANG for 10% off your first order at Arrae.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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to speak to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hello, hello, hello, you sexy lady secret giver. It's another week of Lady Secrets. We are collaborating on our next book, Collecting Secrets from the Community. And this week's theme is heartbreak and unrequited love. I feel like this is a personal attack that I'm reading bad this week. But if you've ever had a bad breakup and then written a book about it and sold it on Amazon

or had, you know, someone say obsessive behaviors, revenge, pathetic actions, like just the worst person that you've been in a heartbreak, you need to write us an essay at theladysecrets.com. You can submit anything, even a DM, a shameful DM situation, submit it all. It's completely anonymous. Or you can call us at 1-844-SEXYLADY. 1-844-S-X-Y-LADY. Leave us a voicemail and we are going to transcribe your worst, most cringy, terrible secrets. We can't wait to hear it. Are you driving in your car right now, listening to some podcasts? Maybe you're on a walk and you're like, God, I wish I could make a Starbucks run, but you can't. Yeah, that's why you need to always stock your fridge with the Starbucks Triple Shot Energy Drink. It's in a can. All

the Starbucks you love that's ready to drink. I keep these in my fridge and I just pop them in the front of my car when I'm going on a ride, going to listen to Lady Gang. They're offered in classic flavors and now in zero sugar four core flavors vanilla dark roast cafe mocha and caramel sugar-free dairy-free and super delicious what gives you energy find your starbucks triple shot energy online or at your local store welcome to the lady gang you're about to listen to our podcast but there is so much more our community has to offer follow us at the lady gang join our secret facebook group shop our clothing line books and find out when we're going to be in your city at theladygang.com we're so excited you're here enjoy the show well what is this

welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome to the lady gang i am becca tobin here with jack vanik and healthy night hello i have a sneeze coming oh no oh no oh no it's gone it just didn't come all right hi hi wow that's so weird i've never been able to hold in a sneeze in my life granola in my teeth oh this is it's off to a good start hello everyone if you've never listened to lady gang before more of this coming up soon i'm addicted to the granola at Whole Foods in the like fruits and vegetables like table. It's like pre-made

in a plastic clear thing. And it's the crunchy flax granola at Whole Foods. And I'm curious, I think that this is something that a lot of people have an addiction to because it's like candy. Hell yeah. I love a good granola. So yeah. My fun granola story is that last night i decided to make katie weber our friend uh a nutritionist she makes granola in her cookbook i got her new cookbook but her old cookbook had a great granola recipe the first time i made it i burned it to a crisp and chris knight being the sweet husband that he is he still ate it and it was like fucking burnt because i always do that i'm like i don't need to set a timer i'll just remember to come back she did not remember to come back oh my god last night i was like oh

I don't quite have enough coconut oil and I have way too much rolled oats, but I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna try it. Like it's going to taste the same, right? It did not taste the same. I love the winging it all the time and expecting a perfect result. I was like, Oh, this didn't really cook because it's a fucking mound Kelty. You need to lay it thinly on the, you know, idiot.

So I made that, I made that recipe in Vancouver properly and it's good. Yeah. It's good. I'm sure it's great. It should be. i'm sure it's wonderful it was wonderful all right well it is time for good week yes it is bad week oh no who would like to go first i'll go okay jack your hair so jack's hair right now is like we're recording very early by the way it's like the puff of our faces has not died down yet but it's a little better because of the time difference but um jack's hair is like giving me like fifth grade, like mall bang. It's like, it's like, um, something about Mary light sort of like she has a little cum in her hair, but we're not a hundred. It's like it was last night. So

it's like she slept on it. Yeah, for sure. Which is so crazy. Cause Jared isn't even here. Like how did it get there anyways? So my did it get there? The great mystery. My good week is Jared and I went to Vegas recently and I had been craving going to Vegas because I love playing craps so like the whole past year and a half i was like dreaming about craps it's so fun so we finally got to go and we played craps and your girl won two thousand dollars playing craps whoa what i don't even know how to play crap i don't even know what craps is craps is the one that there you stand around a table and everybody plays together which is what i love because everybody wins together so there's like a really good energy going on it's one where you throw the

dice on the table and then like you have like all your chips and stuff like that so yeah we both won jared won like a grand i won two grand i was so stoked it was so much fun so it was a great vegas trip now jack question for you are you the gambler that's like i'm up two thousand dollars i'm gonna keep playing or were you like bye i'm gonna buy a bag um did you lose that money after no i so my whole thing with gambling is i'll take two hundred dollars out like i'm very conservative with gambling and I'll play like a hundred dollars at a time. If I lose a hundred dollars, then I, I am out for the time being. So once I won all the money, I'm like, this is great. But next time I play again, I'm only playing a hundred dollars. And if I lose that, then I'm

done, which happened. And then I was out for good. Wow. I'm good at, I'm good at holding onto my, to my money. So that was my good week. My bad week was, so while we're playing craps, this group of like super hot guys like comes to the table they were on like a bachelor trip and we're all playing together and like i said with craps like everybody wins so there's this like great energy and then like you love the person that's rolling the dice because they're winning you money and like all this shit so we're playing everybody is kind of winning for like an hour but for some reason these this group of guys were like in love with jared and i thought that jared was their good luck charm even though i was the one throwing the dice and they're like four oh my

god four is our good luck charm we love thor so much this guy is the coolest guy i've ever met in my entire life going on and on about how obsessed they are with thor and i was fucking invisible like i basically like wasn't there they pushed me out of the way so they could get closer to Thor like it was a whole situation wow what is the like what is the psychology of that like it's beautiful hair like people love his hair well I mean I'm not very lucky around Jared I'm not doubting Jared's like appeal I'm questioning why like I'm sure you were half naked there's no doubt in my mind like why a group of men on a bachelor trip would would be doing that with jared when you're standing next to him that is the big mystery that i am so pissed about because

i feel like do you not see this navel i'm like hello i feel like i've made an error in like creating my monster of jerry in his glow up because now men love him he's too powerful love him it's not like he's there's all like women flocking all over him but all the men are like they think he's the coolest guy that they've ever met in their life so well he is a rock star and every guy secretly wants to be one exactly and like jack just so you know this is what the future holds for you so get ready because sticky is like top 10 the main has never been bigger they're they're crushing into stardom and you're gonna have to be like you're officially penny lane now i know it's like ready at being second rate not only does he like look like a

cool rock star like he actually is turning into a cool rock star i know i'll be ready to be ignored for the rest of my life that's fine yep yep let's just buy that metal bra you're searching for i'm trying to like really increase my sexuality and you know i love my flat chest so i'm trying to like bring more attention to it. Like, but Jack, honestly, if you come over, I'll make you that metal bra out of some tinfoil and like duct tape. You don't know how long I've been looking for it. It's just a, it's like just the, if you just took the underwire out of your bra, that's it. Oh, it is kind of chic though. I could see her wearing like the suit with just the little metal on it. Yes. Yeah. A suit. And it's like so sexual, but like nothing's really going on

anyways. I just think it's so funny when I, when you post about stuff on Instagram that you're looking for, or you want to wear in my mind, there's not one time or place or anything that that would be appropriate for me to wear. Like I don't have anywhere to go wearing something like that. I'm looking for it for a photo shoot. So that's like the real reason that I'm looking for it. But like, maybe I would wear it to you would want to do shows that I want to like, you'd wear you i i can i've i've honestly like since we started talking about it populated like five jack outfits because i'm like now as you know as the internet knows like i'm morphing into a jack you know like i i have now morphed fully like the other day i posted a picture we were

like i thought you were becca and then yesterday i posted a picture we were like i thought you were jack like kelty no one wants to be kelty not i love i'm sorry i just love that you're finally acknowledging the jack portion of this because you always say that you're trying to dressed like Becca, but I'm like, but what's the bucket hat and the not pants and the shacket that you're wearing on Instagram. And you're finally acknowledging it. No, there's a Jack. There's a, there's a Jack element to this. Um, so anyway, I, I'm very, I'm thrilled about our new bra and, uh, in about six months, I'll be wearing that. So good luck. We'll go back to this podcast. You definitely will be wearing it.

who's next i'll go unless you're winding up kelty we're not okay um my good week is that i was with i was home in atlanta with my family spending time and my niece quinn had the american girl doll like catalog and she was going through it and and she was like becca which ones did you have and i go oh i had kirsten and felicity and i was looking through the catalog and i was thinking what kind of a douchebag picks kirsten and felicity and then i'm looking at their outfits and i'm like oh my god one is a prairie girl and one is like a victorian woman and i'm like this is stemming my desire to dress like a prairie woman meets victorian woman it stems back all the way from my childhood of being drawn to the two lamest american girl dolls

wait i did not have american girl yeah didn't everybody a kid i didn't you didn't yeah are you 12 how old she was 12 at some point i was little i thought american girl was like newer and we were the cabbage patch generation no no no american girl dolls were around when i was like very little like let me see when they didn't have those in canada oh because they're american girl dolls they were like definitely a specific type of a child i never i never had one like if your dad was a lawyer you had an american yeah yeah i guess my parents were just normal people so they're like here's a stuffed animal have fun yeah they were founded in 1986 the year i was born so it was like popping when i was little also my sister was obsessed with like baby dolls which i never

got into but i was obsessed with like the girl dolls because i like dressing them but is is there a version of the doll that like isn't a cool outfit i thought they were all in lame outfits no no like samantha was the rich girl and so she was in like very upper east side like plaids and pea coats and then molly was adorable because she was in like a school girl outfit and had little spectacles there were definitely there were definitely cooler american girl dolls like i i legitimately chose the world's dorkiest american girl dolls and and those were the ones i requested my new goal in life is to get an american girl like a american girl doll that has a very similar outfit to something becca's already worn on the red carpet and give it to her as a gift

there i'll be like oh that looks exactly like the vampire's wife dress you just wore except you added extra neck you know i mean there are probably people on etsy that can create these custom outfits oh my god maybe that's my halloween costume that would be the only reason i would dress up for halloween this is a really good idea this is a really good idea everybody that was my good week when i really like got down to the psychology behind my desire to dress like i have religious constraints um my bad week is for you my bad week is that i i have gotten headaches before where they're like migraine adjacent and i've gotten a little bit nauseous from it but then I'll pop some Advil and I'm good to go. Well, I got my first raging migraine where I said to

Zach, I was like, I think I should go to the emergency room. I think I'm dying. We were at the beach with his family. I'm on the beach and all of a sudden my vision gets really squiggly. Like it looks like lightning bolts are in my vision. And I'm like, that's weird. Maybe I'm hungry. I have like naturally low blood pressure. So I have to eat like salty snacks sometimes. So like, like pounded goldfish. And then within an hour I was like laying in the bed, writhing from the pain and puking my brains out, like my brains out. So I now get migraines. So that's also super fun. Can you get Botox? You can get from migraines. Can't you? Yeah. I need to do like more research because there's all different kinds of, of migraines. And apparently the ones that start

with the vision are like ocular. So I need to see if I can get that. But I think I need to have, because Zach's mom had like prescription stuff on hand because she gets them. And I took it, it took a while to work. But like, if I hadn't had that, I don't know what I would have done. So I'm probably going to go see somebody and just have like on hand prescription medication for it.

Because it is horrific. I now understand when people are like, I can't come to your party, I have a migraine. I mean, most of the time they're lying that they have a migraine, but if they actually have a migraine, you can't go to a party. You can't do anything.

Oh, that sucks. that's so crazy and so interesting that like now yeah no like well we're all aging you know things are gonna start going awry i know this is the crazy thing is like it all well let's not go there it's so it all spirals everything's falling apart everything is bad um okay wait i love the fact that zoom cuts you off at a certain decibel that was amazing you started screaming and it cut you right off it did yeah okay go ahead um here's my good week my good week is that we um are working on lady secrets our next book and we've launched the lady secrets hotline when i sing at the one eight four four sexy lady yeah but becca has a song i forget it okay one eight four four

sexy lady something like that anyway so we've been collecting all these secrets and i we started going through them and like anything it's so rare that being a kelty your your expectation is like what am i trying to say like everything very high expectations i was like yeah and then people are going to send the craziest shit. And then like, it would be like, they did not send the craziest shit. These stories are blowing my fucking mind. Like I feel so seen and I feel like I have the most boring life of all time. But anyway, that's not my good week. The good week is, is that in the office we put up this giant poster board and like all, it's like, I have missed this since writing act like a lady. Like I live and breathe for an organized bulletin board

that has different categories. And then as a chapter comes together, we like post the thing up. And like, I like last night at 10 o'clock at night, after I showered, after I ate my Klondike bar, I came down and just turned the light on and just stared at it as a thing of beauty. And like, it just brought me calm before I went to bed. Oh my God. This makes me want to die. I know. No, of course. I'm not going to lie. Like it is pretty cool looking at it because you can kind of see the book coming together, but I do want to make a little note about this. We've gotten so many good secrets, but so many of them are so short. Like we need like a big robust secret. So when you're writing your secrets to us, like write a detail, write it like it's in

your journal. Yes. Like dear diary, your diary. I've been a naughty girl. And there's so many people cheating on their husbands. And there's so many people pooping in different places, like in boxes and bottles and hats and like people are pooping everywhere we are way more bathroom options i was telling kelty i'm like honestly if we start getting like so many we need to have a good poop chapter oh we should for sure i have one myself okay great i do too okay just happened when do i have to turn my essays in by the way like we'll listen later later. Okay. You losers are going on like writing retreats and I'm like, I'm not. So I literally just had like, uh, like an anxiety attack looking at what Kelty has accomplished. I was like, Oh my

God, I need to start. Yeah. Okay. Well, we all have a different schedule. We'll talk about the schedule, but here's my, that was my good week. So my bad week. So I'm at the DMV. I got to get my license renewed. Um, and I'm there for like two hours and I'm waiting, even though I had an appointment. I hate the DMV anyway. So I end up after my weight getting to number one on the DM, like I'm like section, like station one now serving. So I walk over and the girl's like doing my stuff and she's like, okay, is your address correct? I'm like, yeah, like everything's good. And she goes, Hmm, are you on entertainment tonight? And I was like, I was like, yeah. And she goes, Oh yeah, yeah. I know who you are. Well, I really know who you are. And I was like,

okay. You just like literally type my address into thing. And she goes, I've been following you for a long time. And I was like, oh, cool. I was like, you listen to Lady Gang? And she's like, yep, sure do. And then she's like, and like when you were dating Ryan Ross. Oh my God. I was like, oh, were you like in the emo scene? And she's like, yep. I had the haircut and I had the glasses and she's like, I did the whole thing. And we talked about it for a long time and i was like you know what this is fame when you're me no she didn't know me from entertainment tonight she didn't know me from lady gang she knew me from dating ryan ross and that is the fame i live with 14 years later that's that's the only time i've been recognized this

year i love her for keeping you humble you know i'm like oh um i really know you like How ominous is that? I know how pathetic you are, you loser. Is that considered, like, what do they say, like, fame by injection? I call it trickle-down fame. Yeah. I thought it was, like, injection because it's penis. Oh.

There's, like, some saying when people marry rich people or famous people, something by injection. Yeah. Injection. Interesting. Well, anyway. All right. We're so excited about this episode. Whoop, whoop.

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and check out the new line of products. Remember, your first wax is free. Now back to the Lady Gang. today we have the pod trade trademark that we've always wanted called ladies gotta eat or girls got a gang unsure on title so far with iconic moments like being right as my love language and features in cosmo gq l and more these two babes have become two of the most influential pod ladies out there in the space constantly pushing the envelope with episodes like four principles for infinite orgasms yes please a merch line with the perfect crop top for jack

panic uh that when i send her any email ever and she can wear it and just send a picture in return it's white and it says i literally don't care on it um please welcome to the lady gang reina and ashley of girls gotta eat hi oh my god special that is the best intro we've gotten in a while maybe ever yeah i love that girls got a gang like a non-consensual situation maybe but yeah i'm maybe ask that one out no i knew i knew it was too much that's why i started the ladies gotta eat but i then i was like you know it's too good and i'm a sucker for alliteration so first of all congratulations on all your success like hey it is as we know rare as to have you know this kind of success this kind of fan base and you people you're beloved and you kept it going for a long

fucking time so congratulations you haven't given up yet yeah not as long as you guys you guys are like the ogs i used to watch your show like it's just it's so impressive you guys have been doing for five years let's just jerk each other off yeah we're just gonna love you guys we're so happy to be here your hair's so shiny and so beautiful um so i'm gonna start with reina so in your bios which were incredible by the way you um it says that you love murder porn and this is actually when i was thinking about this this is something we've never discussed on lady gang before we have discussed almost everything from the lips of my vagina no murder porn we haven't really discussed porn no no we dropped a little i mean right as a girl i'll talk about porn and

murder porn yeah yeah let's hear it well and jack loves murder so this i felt like was right up our alley um so when i say murder porn i mean like documentaries about murder um when i'm not listening to um podcasts that are about like comedy or listening to our show repeatedly i listen to like crime junkies a lot um i really like these i like murder shows i love them i love to sit in a hotel all day long and watch any any documentary series you're my girl it's my how could you not like that it's amazing it's so funny though because i don't like scary movies like i hate them neither do i i hate horror i hate horror i don't like anything fiction i only like true stories through murder it's not for me it's not for me at all but i don't like i feel like i'm

scared enough my dad had me on like a solid diet of like law and order fvu it's like a six-year-old so i don't i don't need any more information about terrible things that are going to happen to me so um i i like porn separately but when i say murder porn i mean like documentary no a murder porn is something that you would literally go to jail for having in your possession like i thought it was like you know like that's like that's your kink like a murder fantasy film a snuff film yeah that's what it's called yeah wait what a snuff film is your turn nothing out life yeah film is yeah it's a video that uh it's an amateur video made of somebody killing somebody it's real real yeah i'm talking about like what about a sexy porn okay like go

with me for a second like a horror movie a fictional horror movie meets porn yes like yeah i get it oh my god he's in the gate he's in the yard he's coming to get me i'm like oh i'm gonna get murdered and then all of a sudden your murder is like super sexy and like you end up making out with him that's what i thought murder porn was well can we can we share this story we first of all we had we had a guest on our show andrew schultz and he says that all women we love him too he said all women kind of want to get murdered a little they like a bad boy and women were split down the middle our audience they were like kim no we don't we want to be safe and some women were like i don't know maybe a little and then we had we used to have a facebook group and

this girl said she had been talking to this guy in prison like as a kind of a nice thing writing letters to people who were incarcerated and um she started to really get to know him and he was like really you know charming and romantic and she was hoping to like maybe have a future when he got out he was telling her how what he was like in prison reading voltaire and he was like educating himself and she finally decided to look him up and he had murdered his entire family and she was just she said that took a turn it was like so ridiculous wait i'm sorry how did she find him before looking him up we didn't get the whole backstory i think it was maybe like a like a pen pal prison system i mean you can't you know do you remember the menendez brothers

they live literally in their apartment complex right next to me that's they're out they're not They're in jail for life. Yeah, they are. They just got moved to the same jail together. I had to Google this a couple of days ago for research purposes. And they got married in prison. I mean, people, no one will marry me, but they're incarcerated. Did Jodi Arias find a man while she was in prison?

I'm like, you know. I mean, Jodi Arias could talk her way out of anything. By the way, I have a true crime podcast and I need both of you on my podcast as well, because this is a conversation that like speaks to myself. also i have a murder birthday so it's july 9th is oj simpson jody arias oh and jody arias stephen avery um there's from to make a murder there's another one there's like four pretty significant famous murderers all born on july 9th and actually she murders the game i know who's the girl who's Jodi. Jodi Arias is a woman who murdered her boyfriend, but she was gorgeous, like a femme

fatale kind of a thing. And she kind of manipulated like the whole situation. Wow. I just Google it. The other one is, um, the girl, I think the Italian story, the girl that, oh, I forget her name. Um, Natalie Holloway. No, that's a Ruba. Are you talking about Amanda Knox Amanda Knox she might be the other one don't quote me on that but it's a murder birthday yeah so well I didn't think that um girls got a gang would get this dark so early but it did um so let's take it to a funny uh different topic we can dial back to porn if you want like regular porn I'll talk about that murder porn oh my god ah you're chopping off my legs but it's kind of hot i don't know it's weird okay uh ashley you love a younger man what's your situation are you are

you dating are you married i guess oh god no uh not even close um i because you like younger men yeah so i don't know how i mean when we started the podcast i was sleeping with this 24 year old Um, and then I just kind of kept doing that for the last three years. Like a lot of guys that are like, you know, seven, eight, 10 years younger than me. And I don't, I, I'm not attracted to older, really older looking men. And I really also like, like a young energy. I think we kind of have it translated to like a young energy. I mean, we're single, we're New York city girls.

You know, we talk about dating and sex for a living and I am just attracted to like a youthful energy. Like, I don't want someone that kind of feels like old and boring. not that you can, you know, be not, you can't, you can be like a fun older man, but physically I've always kind of been into guys that look a little younger. Um, but then I don't know, it's like, they just like seeking me out. Like it just kept happening. I wasn't trying to cougar on the apps or anything. And I actually had to try to finally put my, um, settings up. So, cause it was just like every 27 year old on hinge, like wanted to go out with me. But the guys that I

was dating over the past few years that have been younger, like I met them in the wild and like they were younger, but I wish that they were older. You know, it was like, I, I want a guy that's in his thirties. If I'm being honest, like I really want someone that it feels a little bit more on my level career wise and just life wise. Um, but I don't want children. I'm very set on it. Um, I don't really care about being married. I'd like to have a partner and love in my life, but you know, that kind of allows you to live a more carefree life. Like I'm not thinking like babies, I need to find a guy that's on the same page in terms of family, children, getting married, stuff like that. So I've had fun. Um, I've had pretty good luck with these younger guys that

can, I think sometimes you think like they're young, they don't know what they're doing, but no, that generation can do. Yeah. They do like a 27 year old. Yes. And they're like pretty malleable. Like they, like they're learning to like what to do. So I'm like, choke me. And they're like, okay. You know, like, they're not like, Whoa, I have never done that. Cause I'm 45 and I'm divorced. You know, like they are just, they're easy to train, I guess. And so, um, yeah, I'm still down, but like, we always say this of like, yeah, younger guys. Great. But also like, I'm not really seeking them out. And I would prefer somebody that's like a little bit closer to my age. And then, um, I don't know, I, I was in LA and I saw this really hot older guy

and I was like, Oh, this is new for me. Like I, he was like so hot. Um, I looked him up. Actually, i found him he's like in his 50s i was like i could be he's 50 he's he's 49 i think he's like an australian actor i met him at this party he's like the most beautiful man i've ever seen in real life but i was like okay maybe if i can find this like i would have gone home with him immediately done whatever like girls got a gang full blown but like i was proud of myself for finding him attractive yeah as an older guy but also like if you're saying an australian actor and he's 50 and we don't know his name we have a problem okay should i drop the name wait is it a name that we know i don't think you would say if there's an actor a man who's made his live or a man who

calls himself an actor by trade and he's 50 and we still don't know his name oh he's living on somebody's couch yes maybe he's a late life actor off the land you know he seems like he's always like scuba diving or something but he um i found his instagram he's an actor he was on like australian shows and then he was on like i found um he's he was on like a shondaland show oh wait is i know exactly who this person is brett tucker okay wasn't he on no wasn't he on um virgin river oh that show oh my god this is gonna drive me crazy okay continue oh my god he's so hot yes see he's like an imdb he's like an older paul walker yes he's got an imdb brett tucker yes he's okay first it comes up with brett tucker wife okay okay that would track

that's why you didn't want to be well um i knew there was a reason wait did you guys have like a moment yeah or did you just like you saw a hot guy so we had a little bit of a moment this is him yeah he's 50 i'm impressed 49 it says um i saw him at this party and i was in la obviously and i was just like this was like two weeks ago at this point i was like that's a beautiful man you know like i have no chance to even speak to this man but we were leaving the party and we were out on the street and he came out and we chatted with him for a little bit and he had his motorcycle helmet in his hand and we were and i love that too that's the thing i'm into and so we were getting ready to uh go to the to meet to marina del rey to go on this boat and we had an uber

coming and my best friend was like would you mind taking her it would really help us out we have a really small car coming and he's like kind of debating it and then this like full-size car rolls up it's like you know a camry and we're like busted and he was like i probably should and i don't have an extra helmet it was like this whole like awkward thing and then don't look at this i have to read you the guys this thing i pulled out it's like it's it's brett tucker it's his information about like dating relationships and it says uh marital status single girlfriend slash dating eliza taylor who he split with slash miranda lambert whoa and then it says divorced not yet oh my god wow he's hot well he's too hot this is a problem yeah he's too too hot look when

i saw him i was like he's you know just another actor you know but then when he spoke it just added another like layer of sexy so um and he was nice to us but yeah so we found him i don't think it's gonna work out i don't want i don't want too hot i want boyfriend hot i want somebody that's just like i'm attracted to maybe no one else's now i want people to look at him and be like he's so cute but i want like boyfriend hot i want your body to be comparable to mine when you take the close off i feel like i'm girlfriend hot i'm like a seven i'm fine you know that's what i want in my life this guy's too hot yeah i don't want to cheat on you in a second the secret to my entire marriage is that i met chris and he was a boyfriend not not even boyfriend hot he was like mildly good

looking and then i upgraded him he was wearing those like oval oakleys when i met him oh i hate silver on the outside maybe mirrored they weren't mirrored but they come in a mirrored yes there's a few that is mirrored and i had to fix him up so i fixed him to be boyfriend hot and now he's other people think he's hot you know i did the same thing and he's locked in you know we we love this we did an episode on it recently like kind of can you change a man and yeah we say like no and like not you know their personality and who they are at their core but you can always upgrade clothing sunglasses oh my god if you just look like you're from florida like i know the exact look the sunglasses i think it's so fun to like tell somebody like i want to take you

shopping like i think you're so hot you're gonna look so hot in this stuff um and then take them to like have a wardrobe that you want them to have so fun oh yeah i'm my boyfriend's at a point where he literally won't buy anything by himself anymore. I have to approve every single purchase. I love that. He used to wear a denim vest with patches on it. So that's where that was at before we started dating. I love a denim vest. They're back. They're never back. No, they're not. Okay. Someone is, they might be back in stores, but they're not back. They're technically back, but they are selling them an H and M right now, but that doesn't mean they're back. the only clothing the only pants that my boyfriend owns are joggers because like someone told him

once that like they look hot and then the guys in every color that's all he owns now so i look i'm gonna take him short shopping this summer i'm thinking like a blue ralph lauren j crew kind of short like a straight chubbies are cheaper and they look so good on men it's a great call on chubbies okay i love that they normalized the shorter short oh well show me a quad on a man i want to see a quad show me a quad this has been oh my god thank you for saying that hashtag free the quad okay this has been my my husband chris is six six he's a tall mother and he has been wearing board shorts this whole 10 years like a long short like just above the knee and i was like okay we need to have this conversation you have a beautiful quad and

i find it very attractive it's like murder porn for me it's like i'll lift you up i'll throw you in the dirt you're gonna use your big quads to like chuck me around so i got him a short short and he was like i can't do this i can't do this like he felt so naked but he looked so because his legs are like six feet long themselves like a fucking giselle running across the super bowl like beautiful so now i finally like i did the thing exactly i said to him oh my god these short shirts are so hot you're so hot and now he has three pairs of short shorts and he's only exclusively wearing short shorts oh damn you can't change a man free on instagram i want to check i also love like a tailored look on a man a shorter shirt looks purposeful it looks like you

did that on purpose and you pair it with just like a nice button-down white shirt does men's clothing doesn't need to be expensive go to old navy and buy this stuff oh yeah there's a fine line though before you look like you know like chad from nantucket you know like it's a belt than like a boat shoe like you really have to work out i don't mind it i don't mind it honestly yes i love like a waspy a boat you need to find i think this account is called chad tuckett actually um you would love it that's gonna be right that is like my living nightmare that is my what is your school years all combined it's like a j crew khaki and a boat shoe vineyard vines you got little whales on your shirt that's too far if there's an animal

you've you've making a left into a wrong area or on a belt like a whale on a belt i just like a white sneaker like a white adidas like um stan smith with a short i love a white converse yeah sure um what's your status are you single dating married married um yes my husband is less, less malleable than most men. So he's really set on what he likes and what he doesn't like. And luckily I'd say like 70% of what he wears is fine. There's another 30% where I'm like, it's questionable, but I'm going to pick my battles. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like he loves one teaspoon, which is that Australian brand. And it's, um, he wears like jorts from there he loves a jort some guys can pull a jort off i'm not mad at a jort i don't want like a

cargo jort from american eagle in 2001 but like a newer jort can work what is the question for you okay no we can finish the jort combo but i just want to know the length and the tightness of these shorts is above the knee he doesn't do like a long short he definitely loves showing off his legs he loves a short bathing suit um loves a short bathing suit um and he wonders why like the only people who hit on him are men it's because he's putting it out there putting out the vibes hashtag free the quad i did have a friend one of my best friends a gay man said to me because i was like why is it that men are the only people that hit on zach like he's just they flock to him every one of my guy friends that's gay is like can i can you send me a picture of

act naked it's so legitimately i've been asked like eight million times by diff all different gay men and i'm like what is it and he said it's because he's his type his archetype as a gay man it's very rare like he doesn't exist so much in their in their like oh he's like exotic he's exotic because he's like handy and kind of like oh you know i don't know the fantasy now i want see him naked yeah anytime pictures yeah he's a real zaddy i knew i knew zach was something special at becca's wedding when he came down to marry her in like a velvet loafer with no sock and i was like showing his ankles chic shit right my brother has those i love those i love this is a real choice and like balls to the walls i like i have a friend getting married this weekend and

she called me and she's like i'm gonna kill you she goes thomas her fiance is insisting on showing his ankles with a loafer with no sock at their wedding because he saw my husband do it at ours and she's like i'm so fucking mad that you approved that look because now i'm having to see it at my wedding but what's the alternative a sock and a loafer that's what i said it's more traditional it's like more traditional to have a sock and a loafer and there's good way and like chic ways to do it now right like a like a high okay right like i'm guys like they lift their pant legs up when they take those photos and they're like look at our crazy american flag socks oh my god okay i once dated a guy who's now on television who still on tv wears like a

wacky sock he's always in a way i don't like a wacky sock guy is it the is it the property brother that does the real estate oh my god he's so similar like it's scary but no brett tucker it's this guy his name is brett tucker he's australian you may not know him because you know i haven't been in anything i bet you brett tucker wears a wacky sock he seems like the kind of guy i don't know i don't have he's a bare ankle man i think he's like the worn out like brown leather loafers no sock i think he's wearing like a rusty flip-flop like i feel like he's very like you know i don't think he's purchasing new things he seems like he kind of lives off the land you know something on the road he's so hot okay i have a question okay do does he you said he's

not malleable to you telling him what to wear are you malleable to him telling you what to wear he would never dare yeah okay he would never dare but weirdly we've talked about this on the podcast before i dress like i have religious constraints normally like i love a high neck and a low like a very midi length dress so he weirdly is into the look i don't know i found that's why like a naughty role-playing all day every day like a naughty little amish girl he's like a handyman and a short short she's like a librarian right oh i want to be in on this what if you unbutton like one button he's like button it back button it back up to your nose it is true she's like a little like stupid doll i also wear things like two sizes too large like

it's just if you see like my silhouette there's something wrong like something has gone very wrong or i'm like auditioning that that is bizarre when you show any amount of we've been working with becca for six years and we still haven't seen her calves you don't know what her body looks like we don't know in the fittings we're like we don't know and she's like make it bigger make it longer make it heavier does this come in cape it's so funny every time we've done a live show, I'm like, give me the tightest jumper they make. I want it to feel like a wetsuit. Like I want everyone to see my full vagina lips, like on stage, like the tighter, the better. No, I'm going to a club for sure. Okay. We're, we're, we're running out of time.

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you really have to kill a moment sorry i'm sorry no i know we were just by china lips kelty when things go off script for kelty she literally you can feel her anxiety like permeating through the screen it's like we're not on script pretend we're going on a tangent what's gonna happen right you tried to be cool for this episode for sure i don't guys don't have a fight after this okay we can also we can feel each other's anxiety always too we always know when the other person is like gonna lose it wait that's a great question kelty can i go off script please i love when we go off script okay can you tell me what is the thing that name the thing that gives the other person the most anxiety oh my god like what do i think reina's

anxiety is yeah she's not um she's pretty chill i'm like more high strong um than her i start to like get really anxious weird on planes i was like grow up but we used to we don't sit together anymore on planes uh but we used to and she would be like i gotta keep the window shade open i'm like oh my god you're a child i can't wait to tell the next person i'm flying with he's nervous to grow up people ask me what's the key to like your relationship and we're like we don't travel we don't stay in hotels together we don't fly together oh my god i love that the next time someone reaches over when there's like a little bit of turbulence you just smack the hand i'll

put someone's window shade down in front of me or behind me i don't care why grow up i can't say it enough why is it up especially on like a red eye what are you doing that's trying to find the ufos but i think we're both just like when things just we get overwhelmed with work stuff i mean i don't um i just don't i would never describe reina as like having anxiety really yeah i don't suffer from it it's insane sometimes i think i might be a sociopath um no i think you're just like a chill happy pretty not happy-go-lucky that sounds like you're like a puppy dog um i a couple weeks ago i left something in the dryer i came over here to have a meeting with ashley i thought it was going to be like 45 you were all kind of

yeah it's just laundry yeah you had your neighbor do it I thought it was gonna be like 45 minutes and a friend of ours was here like generously giving us his time and so we were here for like two and a half hours and I was like okay I have to go home here's all these things that need to get done blah blah blah and I was like I look at Ashley I was like what and she was like I'm just vibing off of your energy you seem really not okay and I was like I'm fine like you're never in a bad mood and our friend goes I think Ashley's just kind of going off of your mood I don't know he for me right it was so stressed she just kept being like i have clothes in the washer i'm like they're not gonna be okay and then her neighbor went and got it out and like

dried it and folded it i'm like you should probably leave your laundry laying around more often because reina is like friends with all these older women in her building like oh my god she just became best friends with her neighbors like during the pandemic and they're these older women and she's always just talking about like janice and i'm like what are your but I will say the thing that like is really nice about our working relationship and we've worked together for over three and a half years at this point is that like we are we're good at a lot of things the other person isn't as strong at and so like I think when like I need an assist or she needs an assist like we have very complimentary skills and that's like really

nice like um like I fire people like when we you wouldn't see it coming yeah because they're like ashley's the main one but reyna lives to fire somebody and how's what's your secret like this is actually a great question like yeah like do you are you just like rip off the band-aid are you just like grow up and then like get out we haven't had to do it too much yeah i mean it's obviously for a reason we want to respect people's time if a relationship between us and somebody we're working with isn't working out i just like to be like super direct non-emotional facts only here's what happened here's what's gonna go on forward you know i'm sorry that didn't work out you know i don't want anybody to walk away feeling embarrassed i don't want somebody to

have like a negative experience with us um even though we fired them uh but we don't i mean ultimately we don't want to waste people's time so something's a bad fit we're gonna tell you bye but also like if you are really bad at your job i i want you to feel that energy coming from us because that's happened it's the merch company we're like you have one job it's to get the merch out or you're disrespecting some one time i told somebody what did i say i invited her to to rethink what she was saying about my business partner oh yeah we had a falling out kind of early on with somebody and reina like again she just you don't see her coming which i love that you know what you said i need you to rethink what you said i said i said i invite i said i

invite you to rethink the things that you're saying about my business partner something like that but we honestly like these are really probably those are like maybe three things we've had in this past you know three and a half years we have like long relationships we really like we don't get off on that you know we've had the same team in terms of like agent business manager uh people that we've worked with for this whole time too so just i don't want to come across like we're just like out here and people often right you know revolving door our team is a revolving door because we just feel like no one's been it like we just have really really high standards and we're like well maybe the common denominator every agency it's true i'm gonna try

But there comes a point where you're like, oh, maybe the issue is not our team. It's that we aren't good enough. Or you just have really high standards. I mean, we just, I think you kind of get to a certain level in your career and you kind of realize there are a lot of people out there that just aren't really good at their job. Everybody sucks at their job. Everyone sucks at their job. We feel like that. Including me.

Sometimes. Okay. So we have something called, quickly, we have something called open season with one of our employees, Chelsea. And Chelsea is young and she's newly single and she's like the pandemic is over and she's on the dating apps and she's like it's fucking open season out there. Like it is just like let's go. And so we like to get her to screenshot some of these interactions she's having with people online and then we read them and we discuss like what's going to happen. I think this will be perfect because you were talking about dating and all that. So she goes, uh, Jonathan, she goes, oh, oh yeah, I have a dog.

And she goes, LOL, word. What kind of dog is it? Hey, are you down for a call by the way? Easier to talk. And she goes, oops, just saw this. You like talking on the phone? She's a Gen Zer. So they don't talk on the phone at all.

And he goes, well, I prefer vibing in person, but yeah, otherwise I like talking on the phone. Would you ever talk on the phone with anyone new? I used to. hear me out. I don't want to, but I have been like voice catfished a couple of times. I went out with a guy that showed up in the fall and we had had such good banter. He was really tall and cute and he showed up and he had the voice of Michael Jackson. And I just, I say that not exaggerating. It was the like highest, most feminine voice and energy. Um, so I'm not really

down for the pre call, but I think some people are doing that more. And I'm like, if you get screwed enough with a voice you might want to do that call you got to cut your losses like you don't want to waste a whole night where you might have to sit down for dinner with somebody if you don't have like a vibe i would always do like a quick pre-call to see what their vibe their voice was like if they were like catfishing with their picture it's like you gotta get on all that but it is kind of it does throw you a little bit so i don't fault her for being like what you like to talk on the phone like it's i think people i won't let becca and jack basically call me on the phone like i don't want to talk on the phone ever like don't like my my family like everyone wants to

have a call and i'm like i don't want to call i don't want to zoom like i honestly don't even want to see you guys right now like i wish that we could just be texting this whole thing because that is what works for my life i think that we're all i i go back and forth because like in theory i like the idea that like you could just get a vibe from somebody for five minutes ten minutes um and just see like you know are they fun are they funny can they like vibe with you a little bit I've made the mistake of having a call before a date and we were on the phone for too long and then I got to the date and I was like I have nothing to say to you like blew your load on yeah but like my my first my boyfriend lives in LA so like our first like date I uh was like a

four-hour phone date and I was like oh I'm obsessed with this guy uh but that's because we couldn't meet in person if I could meet in person I'm not trying to have like a phone date with you. It just feels like I want to see how you like vibe in the world. Yeah. I think one time this was years ago, but I had a guy on dating app and I had given him my number and he called to just set up the date, which yeah, I like that. So we did a quick combo. Like, what do you, where do you want to go? Like, I, I like that. That wasn't a, like, let's get to know each other. That really was just like, let me hear your voice. Let me get your energy a little bit. And then I think you both have an opportunity to be like, no, no, no.

what about a voice memo a voice memo is like happy in between I love that idea because I'm really hung up on this voice thing it's happened to me a few times and I'm just big on voices I think in general like we probably all are we do for a living is use our voices so I I would love that I would like and sometimes if they have a video on their dating app that I can hear their voice I'm like I like get turn the volume up all the way like there's this guy that he like was playing with his dog and I was like I can hear his voice like I'm really into it so I actually love that voice memo idea okay maybe there's a new app that just voice memos but if you've texted you if you you know like it's yeah you gave somebody your number they might hit you with

the like hey so it's me from yeah whatever let's how do you feel about thursday night this place i love that whatever i love a voice memo i say i say do the voice memo i want to hear every voice sounds i want to hear like the tone the cadence i want to hear like yeah i love a man's voice so i want to hear it a lot i love loving a man yeah yeah um well this was the most fun ever we definitely ran out of time but we'll have to do this again um i want to say that to tell everyone in the lady gang that you guys are doing live shows in july yeah so exciting we're back so head on over to girls got to eat podcast.com and check out the girls and go buy they probably already sold out right we are adding a third show so we sold out um for two shows and we're going to add

a third one on saturday night july 17th hot so go get that is it in new york in philly okay we will have a new york show we just this was tough to figure out when we were going to be able to do a theater so we actually have a new york show i don't know december 5th if you really at the beacon theater in new york but that's you have the that's the first time we've announced it And you can follow the girls at girls got to eat podcast, Raina dot Greenberg, Ash Hess, and listen to the podcast every Monday,

wherever you get your podcasts. And I'm so excited for girls got a gang and this was awesome. And so I ruined the vibe. Cool. Thank you. We'll see you on our show. Hell yeah. We will.

Thanks for listening. The lady gang is produced by Alex Ingber, Steve Delameter and Jared Monaco. Make sure you subscribe, rate, and review our podcast. And if you love it, share it with your friends on social media. Like, oh my god, I just listened to Lady Gang. This episode's so great. It's why I love to listen.

And if you really want to, which we know you do, please follow us on social. At Kelty, at Becca, at Jack Vanek, and at the Lady Gang. Sign up for our newsletter at theladygang.com and join our secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday.