LadyGang - Heather McDonald Joins LadyGang - Ep29

Episode Date: June 20, 2016

Heather McDonald is super funny, loves hosting her "Juicy Scoop" podcast, and has a great explanation for why she taped her Showtime comedy special twice. She's also sharing best word of advice she ever got from friend, Kris Jenner, how she feels about Jamie Lynn Spears' comeback, and what she enjoyed most about working on E!'s Chelsea Lately TV show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's your Lady Gang, Becca Tobin, Kelty Knight, and Jack Vanek. Thanks so much for subscribing on iTunes, and thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you for free every week. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again.

The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Lady Gang. We have a very exciting show for you, but before we get into it, I'm going to do a little introduction for those of you who have not listened before. I have Kelty Knight across from me, Emmy-nominated two times. Loser. She's been nominated twice. She's lost twice.

But she is Hollywood. Can I add something to speak? Sure. Instagram aficionado. Oh, Instagram aficionado. Says who? Self-proclaimed. And her favorite activity involves cleaning out her closet while listening to the Backstreet Boys.

And to my right, Jack Vanek. She is the creator, owner, boss lady, CEO of Jack Vanek Clothing. And she's so famous, she has a sandwich named after her. That's right. It was at my friend's sandwich shop. What's the name of the sandwich shop? Jack Attack. Oh, I know the sandwich.

Jack Attack. and i am becca tobin actress unemployed actress i can't help myself i always say unemployed actress and that's the damn truth and i am um have great eyebrows have great eyebrows half jewish and i'm lactose intolerant um and i just want to say kelty wants me to beg you guys to go follow us on instagram and twitter yep and i really really want you to also because jack does a kick-ass job with it and you don't want to miss out on fun things we are the funnest group of gals in hollywood and if you haven't subscribed on itunes to this to this podcast what are you waiting for what are you waiting for go over to theladygame.com check out our website browse get

to know us look at our cute pictures but definitely go to instagram and follow us at the lady gang because we just need you to do that we want consolidation and when you listen go on itunes give us five stars tell us we're cute give us good comments anything else no that's it that's it All right, so who wants to lead us into Good Week, Bad Week? Kelty? Sure. Okay, all right. Let me start with my Good Week.

So when the Lady Gang was at Coachella, we went to the Revolve party, which was awesome. And now Revolve is carrying Jack Vanek's stuff, so that's a good week for you. But anyway, there was this company called Lock, Stock, and Barrel there, and they were hand monogramming with red felt um these bandanas for everyone and we got lady gang ones made we look so cute on instagram and i got like 1200 likes it's big deal anyway then two weeks later becca came to this podcast the week that we filmed with sofia from nasty gal wearing high-waisted black pants a white t-shirt and jeans and a jean jacket that had her name in the same writing as the lady gang um things and it said becca in blue writing and i thought oh my god becca tobin is so

cool i really want the jacket so then i low-key texted becca and i was like yo i don't want to mean crazy but like where'd you get that jacket with your name on it because i love it so much and she goes oh it was gifted to me by ann taylor and i went on the ann taylor website they don't make this so it's something super special from people that are on the b list in hollywood thing to be and taylor yeah yeah anyway it's so cute it's like my favorite jacket ever so then i went in my own closet and i thought voila i have my own denim jacket that actually fits me cute from madewell and i was like i wonder if i could take it to lock stock and barrel and don't tell our listeners where you did it because i just had a great idea we should do denim jackets for merch

and write lady gang in our okay so no one knows what that is but anyway um i took it to this company that was a secret and they put my name on my jacket in red it says kelty you can see it on my instagram i've never felt better and then today when i was getting ready to come here i've been having a hard week feeling not great about myself i put on my high-waisted jeans bought jeans a white t-shirt i even popped the collar and i want to tell you like i swag jacked your style and i'm cooler for it you know what i like it's it's flattering i i'm not the kind of girl that ever cares when people copy me i don't but i like getting i like getting credit you know what i mean credit is credit is due yeah like i love telling people when i copy them here's my bad

week hashtag it's just my face oh god so oh no i'm doing a wardrobe fitting and the head of wardrobe comes in my room and she goes um she's someone that's sort of in my inner circle and knows when i'm struggling with like weight or not feeling great or feeling like puffy or whatever because she has to try dresses on me all the time. And so she goes, how are you feeling? I said, oh, yeah, I'm feeling okay. And she goes, you know, you really shouldn't put all those fillers in your face because I found out you can have allergic reactions to them.

And I looked at her and I said, I don't put fillers in my face. And in my head I was thinking, hashtag, it's just my face. And she goes, you don't? And I said, no. And she goes, oh, oh, I'm sorry. You know, I just, my doctor told me that, you know, when people get their under eyes done or they get their cheeks done, it can cause another reaction, which can like really mess, mess you up on the inside.

It's just her face. It's just my face. So just telling everyone happens all the time, just my face. And then I had to look in the mirror and I was like, first of all, I have adult acne. And if I was going to inject anything into my face, it would be cortisone to get rid of these damn zits on my chin. also i want to i want to just this is my public service announcement for everybody okay filler and botox are two very different things yeah wait 100 no she was saying filler okay so botox we're

actually having a doctor come on yes and we're going to talk about all of this but just to clear it up botox is what is like is like the gateway to all the other things yeah but the filler is a much more extreme thing to do to your face well and the filler actually makes physical it changes your face it preserves us yes so you need to yeah you need to set the record straight with her and be like also the only needle going in my face is botox and i am not ashamed i'm not ashamed of my botox at all i also have been using retin-a for 10 years so everyone's always like why is your skin so smooth well because i've been using retin-a and i haven't gone in the sun also we've talked about this i just stop listen if you're at a boozy mimosa brunch and we're all offering

up what we've done to her face that's an appropriate time to ask people what their fillers don't just bring it up that's so rude it's hollywood though people don't know anymore what's what's like tacky and what's not my cheeks are puffy well i'm sorry good cheekbones thanks jack you're my only friend you and becca in her jean jacket i'm gonna make you feel better right now okay so my bad week is so bad oh my god i live in a really cute part of town where there's a street i'm not gonna say it because i think that's kind of weird stalkers i love your apartment by the way thanks um and you walk around it's like a very like um foot traffic-y kind of place but it's a lot of young families and there's no like ivy restaurant that there's paparazzi blah blah

whatever so i've lived here for several years in this neighborhood whatever and um i've never seen a paparazzi like never maybe once when you know like maybe once in a blue moon um so i'm walking around this area where i do all my errands all of them i and you know what we look like when we're running errands cute balls not cute i do not trash i look like garbage on garbage yeah so i am doing these errands and all of a sudden i'm walking my dog i'm holding a green juice and there's this woman just random woman and she's has a giant camera and she starts taking pictures of me what you're so famous this is my dream no but like it's so odd it's like the weirdest paparazzi encounter because she kind of looks like you know not a paparazzi usually the

paparazzi are like men and they're like you know urban like backwards hats and like sneakers and their hip she's like mom jeans tennis shoes you know so i was like is that a paparazzi is that is that a tourist like coming and like and she's like that girl has a little white dog maybe she's famous paris hilton is that you so anyways she takes these photos and i was like okay well i'm never gonna see these photos because even if paparazzi takes your photos someone still has to buy those photos for them to see the light of day and my photos are not worth anything so it's like i don't see anything unless i'm with someone more famous so i'm not worried about it whatever a couple days later i get tagged in photos of me on this street looking at the camera like

but here's the worst wait what was it on um i don't know because it just gets like people just tweeted them to me so they're somewhere they're somewhere yeah nowhere important i'm sure but i get these and i am wearing what i thought up until this moment were like my cute like high-waisted boyfriend momish jeans you know how those are in right now those like hip show me the picture right now i'm gonna we're gonna put it on instagram they don't photograph they don't photograph well and i also do the camel toe they just don't look good at all like at all and my boyfriend after showing him this photo or my fiance oops he is like always so nice to me when i'm like look how ugly i look in this he'll always be like you do not look ugly you're being crazy

you look beautiful and this one he like died laughing and he's like oh my god can we burn those jeans yet i i can never wear them again and they were expensive i got them in sweden i was so proud of myself for having scandinavian fashion they did me dirty when you see these photos it is awful we're gonna put them up on instagram can i see it please no but i think it's exciting that you out paparazzi i don't think it is do they want your ring it's kind of no one's seen your ring yet they've seen my ring weird like how did they know i have i think she just waits there because there are a lot of like actors who live around this area and they have families so they bring their kids yeah and but it's always been like a very safe place to to like do look like

we're gonna judge the photos right now she's just put out a ring for me to hold it's so amazing it's so bad okay here you go i'm also wearing like the worst top ever god can you invite me over the next time you're gonna have paparazzi i don't know that's my dream even a bad one here's the bad one that's not that bad you guys i'm gonna let our listeners judge this it don't be nice tell me it looks like you have a penis it looks like it's so it looks like you have a penis there's an eggplant emoji in that pant or if you're wearing depends that's what it also looks like not to mention like my face just looks busted like yeah but like oh my god i anyway i'm so proud of you though you're so famous i mean and we're friends yeah okay so

here's my here's my good week i may not have to be introducing myself as unemployed actress anymore oh yeah snap this is a big one what did you get i got it i got offered a job but i can't talk about it because you know until contracts are signed you're kind of screwed if you say you're gonna jinx it or yeah whatever is your contract signed it's being worked on okay hollywood moves at a very slow slow moving pace it's a slow burn um and it's it's yeah so anyways that's the thing and i was like struggling with if i was gonna share this or with or not because it's such a like personal thing your career and being an actor and having people never hire you so i was like you know what i'm not gonna like bogey like bullshit people they write us in their questions about

career struggles and like feeling whatever so i was like i'm gonna let them into what's going on in my life so yeah it's like a pretty good job oh but you can't say anything about it no but like it doesn't really i mean it's just a job like just what was the feeling though because we deal with so much rejection so what does it feel like when you get the call i get one how much money yep what do i have to do yeah how hard do i have to work uh-huh do i like who i'm working with yeah do you have to show a boob yeah i don't have to be naked oh i mean it's not it's actually now when i get those calls it's like very i'm very business about it because it's like you have you know i had my moment of being like ah glee this is amazing and like it's like fireworks

and unicorns and then you like get into the business and you're like oh my god i'm just like trying to get a freaking paycheck so congrats becca thanks guys that's great okay jack i just want to hear about it even more paparazzi in your future i'm sure doubtful take me with it take us with you i doubt it all kelsey wants it's all she wants please i'm no i'm going to new york in like two days and i'm definitely calling the paparazzi myself that's all god okay so anyways shameless desperado yeah thirsty i don't care hashtag thirsty hashtag it's just my face the best part is that when a picture finally comes out she's gonna be like i it happened i called him he showed up i looked amazing i went over and i picked the photos that i wanted to use

it was just so we had a night event we drank wine and then you'll be like i look so bad and then the picture's amazing yeah that's the worst you freaking jerk okay so my good week is our facebook group has over a thousand members in one week that's incredible one week i'm pretty dope i couldn't figure out how to get on it because you don't have a facebook i have like a um like a uh what's it called a page i don't yeah your page you can't get in the page i have to use my personal face so do i i try to get on my page too it doesn't work i need to do a person you need to be a real person can i you know what i'm gonna do alter ego i'm gonna have an alter ego none of You are going to know who it is.

Oh, and you're just going to be saying mean things about us. Yes. You're going to say like our deepest, darkest secrets. My name is going to be Virginia Slim. My fake name is Sally Prescott when I was on Match.com. Oh, what? Sally Prescott. Sally Prescott.

Don't you want to date Sally Prescott? She's so fun. No, not really. Sounds quirky. She puts out. She does put out. Anyway, Jack, thank you so much for making our Facebook group. You're welcome.

Yes. I think it's really cool. People are starting to talk about real stuff and have like their little struggles in there. And I think it's a good community to have. and i approved my mom into it today oh that's scary i went to look at the request i was like may vanik what that's great i'm like creeping on me for sure your mom is good times though she is she's super fun she's like an ultimate stalker i'll tell her like one thing and she'll be like oh my god i know everything about this person i should be in the fbi oh my god that's amazing

you're a creep um so yeah i'm really excited about it and you guys can join if you aren't in it yet we can get 2 000 members in a week um my bad week oh my bad week's good i got called out for face tuning one of my pictures online because i made your boob bigger mine and because i was making my arm smaller and it made your boob bigger wait how did they sure they knew because my boob looked bigger so it was i know it's my fault it was one of your fan pages because okay the picture that we posted with dorothy i was like smushing my arm against my body and it looked huge so i was like okay i'm gonna make it look like my normal arm looks as you know yeah so i don't have like this huge arm in the picture but then my boobs look big because i was next to you

and you're in back me so i like pulled my arm in and it pulled your boob out everybody so i'm like everybody wins out yeah and it was one of your fan pages and she's like haha at jack for photoshopping the picture of her arm my fans know this bod really well they do well and the problem was you two posted the original picture i know i felt so bad i even texted you guys both and i was like i'm photoshopping this picture you texted us after we posted it and i didn't see that it was too far up in the stream damn it i know but yeah i mean i feel badly i would have posted the fixed picture i would have too i need to look at this photo if my boob looks really it probably looks nice it does it looks nice and perky i know i was just trying to like help everybody but in general bad

weeks all around for like when you have fat arm in a picture it's unavoidable and it comes out of nowhere yeah it's really bad i'm like i can't have this on the internet i'm gonna just stare at it forever so i had to fix it but then whatever it's like kim kardashian chloe kardashian are her abs real look at that tile in the background i know one of my favorite things i was looking for face tuning and celebrities photos it's so fun it's awesome because people are so bad with friends this weekend and there's a girl that we know who like literally airbrushes her face it literally just it's just eyes and oh she probably uses the soften tool so it makes your face look like paper it's just gotten so out of hand that my friend wrote in the comment he wrote

hashtag no filter oh does she like skinify herself too yeah i mean she looks like like like an alien she doesn't even look like a person i can't even see a nose on her face i just don't understand why people do it because it's like we all know what you look like in real life i just do it if my arm looks like out of proportion to what it usually does i don't know i enjoy but also remember that that one part where you could put eyeliner in your eyes such a no-no. Do you remember that on Facetune when they would, like, add an eyeliner? I was like, no, no, you guys, this is one

step too far. Yeah, you could add the whole makeup, the whole face. Well, there we go, you guys. Okay, what's going on? Now, here's the Lady Gang. Oh, get ready, everyone, because this woman is a professional. She's one of the funniest ladies in town,

crazy popular stand-off comedian, and you might remember her from Chelsea Lately, After Lady, Lately, like a zillion TV appearances. You might be a podcast fanatic and listening to one of the most popular weekly podcasts that exist, Juicy Scoop, which Becca Tobin's your number one fan, so watch out, Heather. I have not missed an episode. And since we are currently taking suggestions for the Lady Gang Book Club, we should probably also consider her New York Times bestselling book, You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again. Welcome to the podcast, Heather McDonald. Hi.

How are you? Is there pressure because you know what this is like to host an interview at podcasts? yes but I actually I've been enjoying doing the whole podcast thing so much you know and I'm always if I'm free I love going on other people's and it's great I think it's just been it's been a really

surprisingly wonderful experience that I didn't expect and then the response to my show has been like I feel like that person that like gets the Oscar it was just a tiny film we only worked for 23 days we couldn't get the budget

I never imagined and um i didn't even know what i was doing yes and so it's like yeah so it's kind of but anyway so it's um but when we were when you started to talk about that you think you like my show um the catholic thing has been just an overwhelming theme of people that have reached out because i talked i did this whole thing serial sister it goes from episode 35 to like 50 and um and it's about my crazy sister and i come from this big irish catholic family and it just it's amazing yeah and people go oh my situation isn't that bad but i could totally relate or sometimes like my sister's great but i just like love the story and rosie o'donnell started listening i heard that and

tweeted me and she's like oh my god this is you know and then what's interesting is the thing i started this past week which is a new thing which is about like serial daters when you date like this awful person so my friend who i'm having dinner with tonight is um she started dating this guy and anyway the whole story evolves and she found out he was dating three other women at the same time wait i think i heard this did you talk about it a little we talked a little bit about it because i had i had jen alfred on so it's like i'm like i have to split this one up too i didn't mean to like these people too but there is gonna be a part two or three i don't know it's because it's because i have all the girls come in and there's so much to the story that and now i

I'm getting really good feedback of other people's stories. And there's so many similarities, whether it's a serial, like I'll probably feature serial sister stories as well, other people's and then like interview them after. And, and then also with this dating thing, it's just like, there's, there's signs of the type of guy that is this like sociopath. Oh yeah. I have an idea for what you should do. Tell me.

you should to catch a predator style the guy like set it up like a like a heist is that what it's pretty amazing how about a secret camera yeah you should be what's his face like to catch a predator after you get all these stories and then you all confront him in some crazy way well on the podcast here's the thing we didn't say his name but um we call him tard in the show so what is but i mean my dream is that someone will be listening that will somebody will meet him because he's gonna hit on some like yeah cute woman and in the south bay or you know newport beach or something and she's gonna like all of a sudden it's gonna click to her like why does this guy's story sort of sound familiar oh my god i think that was from heather

mcdonald's podcast that's my dream i just want that to happen and i want his like because he's been just doing this and dating women and borrowing money from them and not paying his rent and being that kind of person. But that lives like a pretty nice white male, you know, lifestyle paddleboarding. He's like mid forties. Ew. Gross. Ew.

Um, okay. Speaking of heartbreak. Yes. Let's get it. Let's bring it back to you. Yes. I thought we were just talking totally about me. Sorry.

Um, no, just your work. You've been in this biz for a minute. What has been the heartbreak? Like, has there been a gig, a thing, something that went down that just broke your heart and you thought, ooh, I'm out of Hollywood. I'm moving to, you know, Santa. Were you going to say Cuba? I was going to say Cuba, but like Americans can't move to Cuba.

Yeah, I mean, to be totally honest, it was this past January when I did the podcast with Theo Vaughn. And when I did that podcast, I was really honest about my own insecurities working at a job in Hollywood, which is Chelsea Lately. and they took a small portion of it like less than 30 seconds gave it to tmz and then tmz took a sentence from it made it a headline yeah and what was really screwed about it is that they put it out there and i guess they do this with big editorial magazines as well but i had never had it happen to me i had been on the side of making fun of it on chelsea lately it wasn't because

this a-hole said this one line and this time i was the a-hole because the one line was like i was scared every day working at chelsea lately meaning i was scared like i'd lose my job i was because i'm not i'm not that person that just has like balls of steel yeah so it got interpreted like i was terrified of chelsea handler like it made it sound so lame here we'd gone on the road together we'd done shows together that wasn't at all the case and if you listen to the whole podcast you would see that i said complimentary things about her that i did so the story came out saturday so i'm in denver colorado doing stand-up and i'm waiting in line to buy this coat and someone's like i start seeing these tweets and stuff and i'm like what is it and

my heart just like my stomach i was like dying and my friend's sending it to me and she's like i go just i'm not even gonna read the comments i can't even remember what the comments are gonna be i didn't really know what to do i think now i would have like immediately written a long explanation on facebook but since i had taped it literally six weeks ago i was like holy what else did i say i didn't really remember and i was like oh my god and so the the pod so the story came out saturday and the podcast wasn't available until tuesday oh no wait they gave it out to tease it yeah and by that time all these people that hated me wrote these awful things they didn't go and look up theo von and find the pod like it's over with no and i just didn't know how to react to it

And I was so scared to do any interview after that, that, that I was like, I'll just explain on my own podcast. What happened? Come out until that Thursday. So for like six days, it was horrible. And then, you know, and then she said these things that weren't true that I had told stories about her in the tabloids when Howard Stern asked her about it. I don't know why to this day, why she said that, but it wasn't true.

And, you know, since it's, it's died down. But at that time, I was like, if I had money, real money, I would just quit the business. I was like, absolutely. This is the worst week of my life. Like I, it was about two weeks of like the worst experience. And then it was like, you're on. And then the main thing was you're ungrateful. You're lame.

No one would know you or chipmunk face without the show. I mean, it was just like, and I was like, it gets so crazy. Yeah, it was really. but now like six months later I mean I feel like everything happened that way because because of that awful experience is why I literally like a week two weeks later I had a guest cancel on the show and I do the show by myself juicy scoop and I go you know what I've had this story about my crazy sister that's pretty intense where she's said awful lies about my husband and I and threatened to like ruin us and i'm all you know what i'm gonna get the story out first yeah and

i'm gonna get it from my perspective so that nobody can then later on you know who knows sell some story or hear some awful thing and i'm like and it's the one thing in my life that i wasn't on it like i didn't share i didn't really share in my books about it i didn't really joke about it in my stand-up i didn't really and it was all like surrounding you know the last couple years of both my parents dying with this whole thing and and now it's like now i feel like my audience really knows me on the flip side of that what has been your ish moment in hollywood what is the moment where you thought hot damn i came here with a dream i have done it i am the shiz i'm definitely taping my special that i did it premiered august of 2014 but they play it all

the time on showtime and it's available on netflix and i think for any stand-up that's always been like your dream and i used to watch all the specials like in my 20s with my friends and And then there was a time where I didn't do stand-up for like seven years in my 30s. I didn't do it until I – really until like about a year before Chelsea Lately. I just kind of wasn't doing it. I was like still auditioning and writing and like having babies. But I didn't really miss it because I never got to a level that I was like touring or anything. And then I started to do it again and I was like, okay, well, I don't think I'll ever have a special.

Like I just don't do it enough to get this hour together. And so then to actually have it happen, I was like, wow, this is like – this is the moment that you dreamed about that can happen. you know yeah that that was really great i mean i hope to have another i don't have plans to do another but i think i definitely could yeah and um but just to know that i had the one was like really that was totally the best were you so nervous no because i was it was being taped and i was doing it twice so the first how they do it they do it twice some people only do it once i mean it costs more to do it twice yeah did you have different audiences oh yeah okay yeah but i I went much faster

I speak fast anyway I've gotten better over the years but so when I finished the first one the director's like that was really good

but you're like you know six or seven minutes short and I was like so then I thought then I could do it again and literally

we probably used 95% from the second one thank god because I but even since I've taped it like I'm so much more

I get more and more relaxed with stand-up like I thought that's the pinnacle it'll never get better than that And like, I think my standup is totally better now than my special because it's like a type of, it's just something that you just consecutively get better at, you know, are you surprised

that Angelina Jolie doesn't have a publicist after what you went through with that one word of an interview going out to the headlines? Like it always blows my mind that she doesn't have a publicist. Like if you want to interview Angelina Jolie, you have to like literally write this email and it like goes to her like Bill Murray where he doesn't have a publicist either. I don't think, I think that that makes perfect sense. i mean i've worked with publicists and they've all been really nice but it's like again with what went down like my initial instinct was right transitioning to a funner topic please tell me

everything about chris jenner because i'm obsessed i know you're friends with her i'm obsessed with her checker floor in her house yes and i think she's the ultimate boss like people are like oh my favorite Kardashian, Kim or Khloe, Kris. Yeah. 100%. So A, how did you become friends and B, what is the advice she's given you in your life that you can pass along to us mere mortals? Well, I became

friends with her because more than a decade ago. Your sex tape leaped and she helped you with the contract? Yes. I feel like that's how anybody becomes friends with her. She booked your makeup artist for the sex tape? No. I was friends with Jillian Barbary. Oh, yeah.

And she was doing the one season only of skating with celebrities and so we went chris jenner was on skaters jillian bruce was bruce and jill were amazing with different stars with different professional skaters pull that out of the vault right now yeah and so we went to the tapings and you know i would i would see chris and all the girls and they were just like chilling eating candy and watching it and then um and then chris was gonna have like a viewing party and said told jillian she could invite her friends so we go to this other house in calabasas which wasn't the one with the checker floor no this was before her house with the white picket fence this was this other house in

calabasas and kylie and kendall were very little and so then then we just sort of became friends and then like she you know they had their baby store and my kids were babies at the time so i'd go to the store you know and then and then many years later my best friend since I was in first grade started working with Kendall and Kylie and so so we're all kind of friends together you know so it's like the girl nights and all that stuff but then I think the advice that I got from her is just you know make lemonade out of lemons and I think like this past year sort of proved oh yeah even though I don't think it was I didn't and not until like not until just recently did I I go, okay, everything did happen the way it was supposed to happen.

Very interesting though. I will say something I noticed about the Kardashians. They don't talk about other celebrities. Like when you interview them or you ask them, like they won't say, oh, I love watching the housewives or I love, they will not fuel anything that's not within the circle. Like Kim will talk about Khloe. Khloe will talk about Kendall, but they won't ever bring in a third party celebrity. I love this about them.

I think that is smart. It's so smart. Why give anybody else any more press? Give it to your own. Keep it in the fan. you know and that happened to me too when someone said what do you think you know what do you think of caitlyn jenner and i just i said i think she looks great i think people are being too hard on chris yeah like when it first happened it was like this way to attack chris somehow and i'm like why

is chris being attacked you know and why i don't get by celebrating caitlyn somehow you think and so then of course that thing came out and it was like bff says it was you know caitlyn's fault or I was like, you know, I like, I remember when like, you know, the whole thing came down with Kim getting divorced after the 72 days and they asked me cause I went to the wedding and I said, um, I respect her. I'm like, I have friends that knew as they walked down the aisle, it was wrong and they stayed 10 years and I'm like, and she's 31 years old and she wants to have kids and she probably realized I'm not going to have kids with this guy, so I'm not going to stretch

it. So if she would have stayed a year, people would have hated her less. Like, I'm like, I don't, so I say that and then, but then it's, but you know, I think I'm saying, and I do, I never heard anything negative, but then it got, I got a concern because I'm like, oh my God, I think they think the Kardashians think that I'm using our friendship to get my name in a magazine and I'm not, yeah, they're asking me and I'm saying something positive, but at the same time I'm like, it's probably just better not to comment on anything.

But then if you don't comment, they'll take your non-comment as a comment. Right. well then it's like yeah and it's really hard because especially when you have a friend that's in the limelight that's going through something they are not saying anything because they're hiding they're in hide mode right yeah and the other person is probably being very boisterous and you're trying to defend your person to be like okay i'll be the voice for you no she's great or she's happy or she's strong and then you get raked for it so it's like it's kind of a difficult thing yeah you're listening to the lady gang we want to have a little fun with you

i we've prepared something based on your podcast okay because of course heather's podcast is called juicy scoop um which you can listen to in the one hour week you're not listening to lady gang and um this is the scoop or poop quiz okay so scoop is heather approved okay poop is can't do it don't want it like think about the poop emoji okay okay here we go all right colored eyeliner scoop or poop poop like a blue eyeliner on the top like i'm wearing right now no but that's just kidding no you know what you haven't forgotten i think there's a little bit of blue underneath or something and i put brown underneath yeah but i think when it's like a like a painted light blue or a purple like a funky yeah sometimes it's like people have a funky look but it's not

for me i agree poop i think on some people it works definitely not for me poop okay scoop or poop lindsey lohan being sort of normal now scoop i'm into it i met lindsey a couple times and i think she really would like to be normal i don't know who she's going to end up with her and she's got the billionaire does she have a new billionaire she's engaged right i think so allegedly well like two years ago she was in kind of engaged a different billionaire that had kids i mean at Where is she finding these billionaires? At least she's listening to our advice. And we tell everyone to marry billionaires.

I agree. Right? Fuck it. Working is way hard. Erica Jane, oh my God. Go for it. Like, come on. Live for her.

But you know what? I don't think she's ever going to come back and be who she was because we got Emma Stone. Once we got Emma Stone, we're like, why are we chasing this redhead anymore? Like, honestly. Damn. That's gross. so i just kind of think like you know me and i honestly think she became a star because she was that kid that had a deep raspy voice you ever notice so many actresses if they have a deep

enough voice work yeah it's about their voice it's not even really their acting it's like a scratchy voice or like because it's so harman is like a model but she can play a like a you know a tough cop she has a deep voice she's like hey you know what becca you should hey asshole get in the corner yeah you know like why is that like why is it just because you have a deep voice you can be a lesbian definitely doesn't have uh the voice going for her i like jennifer anderson's voice um she's a good voice it's but it's not like a soothing like a you know she's never gonna be a cop jennifer anderson yeah i think she maybe was a cop one time she was never a cop really i don't think she could the best jennifer anderson is marley me jennifer anderson okay let's get back

to the quiz here we go scoop or poop wedge sneakers for me they're poop because i'm tall but for little people not like little like like becca tobin yeah like a little person it does look kind of cute like well like when kyle richards wears it to a sporting event because she's so little and she needs a heel but she doesn't want to wear a heel i i totally get that there's a market for it so i'm gonna say scoop it's just not for me okay because i'm tall i'm gonna say poop okay even as a short person person i just think they're so you look like you're in like a girl group i don't think they make i don't know i don't know okay i'm gonna say poop because i don't even believe in a sneaker okay um next uh scooper poop uh jamie lynn spears making a

comeback she's got a tlc show she's a country music artist jamie lynn is she is she a good country music artist i think she has some nice major major scoop one of the best memories i have from chelsea lately is the day we found out that she was pregnant 16 it was like oh my god and we actually shot this thing where everybody in the office was going crazy like oh my god and like and you remember britney didn't even believe it like someone said it to her like your sister's pregnant it's like what i mean anyways she was on zoe 101 baby she's on the disney show now the kid is like a maddie got married to somebody else not the dad yeah and she was on this zoe 101 on disney really bad actress she was not good well honestly so i mean it's amazing so she's

coming back with what she's another show she's on tlc and it's a docu-series about her comeback i think you have to have a well i think it could be i think it's a good comeback because it's like her and you know they probably you know they're those type of things like yes i promise that britney will appear a few times i mean remember living lohan oh my god but then like then you know like all of a sudden lindsey's like i'm not doing this and then like you just hear like lindsey calling like hey what's that i feel like i'm doing this yeah hold on can i tell you great lindsey lohan scoop actually yes okay so dina lohan the mom yes she always people always like what like what did you do like what's your job and she always says she was a radio city rockette she

wasn't she always says she was a radio city rockette like former rockette yeah i feel like did you do your research and she well i was a radio city rockette and there's an archive Of every Rockette that's ever been She's never been a Radio City Rockette She went to the Radio City Rockettes Summer camp when she was a kid That's incredible Wait, did nobody ever call her out on it?

Who cares enough to do the research other than Chelsea? Yeah, I guess I don't care Investigative report No, I'm just mad because it's kind of hard to be a Rockette I'm just saying auditions are pretty intense So you're a dick, Dina, for fake Rocketting That's kind of the way I feel about groundlings I don't care anymore

But when people say I was a groundling Or I was in groundlings and it's like taking one class does not mean you're a groundling yeah and i never even said i'm a groundling because technically i wasn't i was in sunday show for two years and i would always say that i was in sunday show for two years they usually don't let anyone be in that long but nobody all these people wouldn't give up their spot so there was like a bunch of us and then they cut a bunch of us and that was another thing that seemed super devastating that i think like was probably a moment a very good thing for me because i think i was so happy doing that

that i would have been i would have stayed forever just like chelsea lately like when chelsea decided she didn't want to do the show anymore like i was sad and there's been ups and downs of the year being like it being over but the same time like today i'm like no that was really good because i would have stayed forever and there was nothing more i could do there being like a writer you would have died on a panel lately yeah and then or would have been like oh now you're too old to be on e we need to you're just gonna go back be a writer we can't feature you on tv anymore like which i think was starting to happen because i was on it less towards the end so i was kind of like but i wouldn't have quit such a fun job right so it's

like sometimes those things are meant to be blessings and on that note scooper poop um people who do newborn style photo shoots with pets wait what you know how when someone has a new kitty or a puppy and they've been like wrapping them up in swaddling and like you know a new mom photo shoot where it's like a little baby that's scoop yeah be happy like that's your thing with pets but with pets. I think that's fine. Let them do it. I love it.

If you're going to brag about your kid all the time, I guess that's true. why not do, that's funny. Like, I mean, Natasha Leggero

did this photo for like one Christmas or something where she put her dog like Jesus and she was Mary. Like I, and like one time

I was Mary and Chewy was Jesus and like, I just, I think that's funny. Like to me, I think it's, I guess I'd rather see

your animal than like your busted baby. Yeah. So Scoop, Becca? Yeah. Sure. I'm totally going to do it when I get a dog.

I think it's totally cute. Scoop. Yeah. Next, scoop or poop? Yoga pants every day, all day as daily wear. I'm going to say poop on that because I think that it starts to sort of change how you live your day. Oh, deep.

Like, I think you kind of need to, like, you know, I feel, like, get dressed, put on, like, you know, some normal clothes, get out, do a couple things. You'll just, like, feel more professional, even if you're not. Okay. so poop i am a convert i used to be a scoop and now i'm a poop because i spent too many days in yoga pants and i started feeling bad about myself and i was like you know what i'm gonna put on a jean not even a heel a jean denim on my body and i did kind of feel like i could take on the world just in a jean okay yeah i feel like i just converted right now yeah because i wear yoga

pants almost every day how your transition goes i'm wearing a jean right now so i've converted i think it's also a poop i think that i agree 100 with juicy scoop like i how hard it sometimes is to find a yoga pant that doesn't eat your vagina it doesn't give you camel toe and i found i found a couple i found two lululemon but you have to ask for that it can't have the split up the can't have the middle seam can't have the middle seam they have like the one seam yeah the patch over it yeah that's really good and then um i just did flywheel and they had some pants that did not give me a camel yeah interesting i have a massive vagina so everything gives me a camel toe but it's because i have a puffy vagina outer vulva um okay anyway um last scooper poop are you guys

ready yes ready scooper poop boxer braids boxer braids french braids girls that are doing the oh they do the outside like kim yeah um here's the thing i went to like a braid tell us the a braid party or whatever and they did they did like well it's like recently it was you know it's like somebody's daughter no there's some like braid instagram and they're like they've got a million people come give a braid kids no it's for like 20 somethings and you know what it just the braid doesn't look very good on me i think braids have to be for someone really young i think you gotta be i think you gotta be under like 25 to rock you can't have braids and botox yeah good one thank you want to tweet that out that's my meme i kind of think that's kind of true like

it's true but none of my friends are doing braids like i just don't so yeah um but like on kim i think it looks really cute like when she and north both do it i think is that cute when you have a perfect face i think you can do these braids i don't have a perfect face or a good armenian like hairline as well yeah well they lasered theirs yeah they did yeah which is really smart to do if you're really hairy. If you're rich and you've got lots of time, I guess. Laser it all off. Yeah, it's very time-consuming.

Jack, boxer braids? Not on my potato face. You don't have a potato face. But I kind of feel the same. Like, I have, like, kind of a rounder, like, not a super chiseled face, and I do feel like Could it be a little bit more angular or something? Yeah, like, it's, because it's, like, tight on your face. Like, I need, like, fluffy hair.

I need my hair to cover up my face. Like, soft in this shit, yeah. um on that note heather's sticking around because she's going to help us answer our assalating questions and this woman has lived her life so she's got some good advice for you in one second okay hey ladies funky ask the lady gang all right so for this part of our podcast you're going to help us answer our listeners questions and give your best advice because you are wise beyond any of our ears all right so before we start if you guys want to go to jackvanek.com you can get 20 off your order with code lady gang and i brought you some little

presents from my clothing line awesome thank you you're welcome okay so our first question comes from leanne and she says i met a really cute guy on tinder a while ago and we chatted every day for about three weeks we talked about meeting each other multiple times and everything went really well until one day he just stopped answering i don't understand how he lost interest in me overnight why did everything go from being so awesome to absolute silence so first of all Well, it sounds to me like, again, this was a texting relationship. Text-only relationship. And that I talk about on my podcast with the three women dating the same guy, that it was

such a heavily text relationship. And I think that's a very hard thing to really understand. I mean, you can read into it. You cannot read into it. The way you build a relationship is really talking in person, preferably, but definitely on the phone. And I know the kids don't know how to talk on the phone anymore, but like you've got to start talking on the phone.

so i think forget it yeah he was probably texting with 17 people other girls and he did lose interest and you just have to let it go he doesn't want to you're not missing out the secret even met him yeah leanne i think here's the deal when i was online dating that you you have to online date and then instantly really date yeah like you can't online date forever even if you're texting with someone like first thing in the morning last thing at night all day long well that's basically That's not real. That's every catfish episode. It is.

Exactly. It's these long, intense relationships that aren't even talking on Skype. It's not even seeing the person. It's not even talking on the phone. Well, it's basically like a fantasy relationship. You can pretend that that person is the most amazing person in the world, but you don't know them if you're just texting them. So Tinder, Tinder, Tinder, and then meet.

You've got to meet with them the first week. Yes. Find someone you like and get them to go out and meet in person. Yeah. Exactly. You can't prolong that or else it gets weird. I agree. Okay.

So our next question comes from Rachel. And she says, I've been with my boyfriend for over four years, and he is a wonderful man. But recently, I feel like the spark has kind of faded. I can't tell if that's just him or just a challenge of a long-term relationship. We've talked about sharing a future together, and I can't imagine life without him. How does the Lady Gang recommend keeping the spark ignited for life? Side note, I've tried talking with him about it, and he doesn't think that we have a spark issue, which makes it hard to have him try different things with me.

Now, you just got engaged. How long were you dating before you got engaged? A year and a half. Okay. Do you know that that's the perfect amount for success? Really? In a marriage. Really?

Yes. I did something right? They've been doing new studies. I feel like... And they say that marriages last if you date for like a year or so and then get engaged. And once you get engaged, you got to get married within two years of the engagement. Don't have this like five-year engagement. Don't...

And then because what happens when people are together for a long time is the spark does die, but now they've invested four years. Yeah. They really shouldn't get married. They get married and then they're divorced in two years. And that's because it's that age. They think that they should. And they're like, I spent this time and I know this person's a good person, but the

spark is gone. And there's like a time limit on like going to the next step. Yeah. Yeah. that's actually a really good point because i was going to say the spark always fades i mean it does it's like it's the reality i've been married 16 years it does there you go but i just had an amazing uh spike in interest how what'd you do did you like take ecstasy one night somali no i um i i it's a really long story that i'll probably porn no i'm gonna probably use it

in my stand-up for sure maybe i'll share it on the podcast but i searched for an old boyfriend that wasn't on social media oh and in in finding it it really made me happy i was with my husband today your explanation of why you're happy you're with your husband which one was which when you were saying like because he didn't he want to be anonymous he didn't want to be found out that guy right and your whole stand-up act is your husband exactly so it would never worked out like so much since i've found out more about this person i'm like oh my god like i'm like i can't even imagine what my life would have been like and there's so much more to the story that i just can't get into right here because it would take too long but like the things that i

realized but yeah and you know and my friend that like helped me do the research was just like oh my god you are gonna do your husband tonight like you know and all all the reasons all the reasons why i broke up with him back when i was 20 now i remember but there was a time where i just you know i couldn't find him and i'm like if this guy was on facebook i would have seen his face i would have seen something he wrote i would have been like done yeah but because it was such a mystery i was like what is it yeah and i think um but i think that's you know so there it's it listen it's ebbs and flows you just can't let the the the ups and the downs you can't let the down go too long. You can't let it go too long without

boning. You can't let a fight go too long. Everything you just can't last too long because then it's really hard to get back into a groove. I think boning is so important and not letting it die. Not letting it die. It sucks a lot. Also, I think you really have to be friends

with your spouse and really have a good friendship and we laugh at the same stuff. Yesterday, day like we agreed to have this freaking cub scout party and then all of a sudden like an hour before the party my husband starts acting like a dick you know because it's like he's stressed out ah okay you better put this away and he's like ordering the kids around and my son's

like i didn't even want this cub scout party like i'm like well this is what we do we agree to have a party dad's a dick for about an hour and a half then he has a drink and we're glad we had the party but i'm like why do we agree to have the party so we can fight all day before the party like why are we doing this like we thought we'd make no matter how many costco dishes and how you think it's going to be easy all of a sudden everyone is just an asshole before like the party comes and you're like why did we even agree to do this like so yeah there's all that you had kids too because i feel like that really makes your stand up i mean yes i thank god i can exploit them and use thank god right i think yeah i think it's true it's you know there's a lot of single

lady comedians out there and you know they're all funny but it's it's yeah what are you doing how much can you talk about okay dating go last question all right last question comes from sarah and she says i recently moved back to my hometown after college and one night a couple of weeks ago i ended up behind an ex-boyfriend at a drive-thru he messaged me later that day and a few days later we met up kind of late at night and ended up hooking up in the back of his car good i'm so embarrassed because i've never done anything like that ever which you shouldn't be embarrassed about wait what wait it's not done what stood out to me though was that he had a condom in his pocket so should i be offended or flattered that he was pretty sure that something was going to happen

between us you should be flattered you're the queen of the blue ball but i i listen if i could go back i would screw everything i'm so horny watching the bachelorette like i and that was another thing in watching the bachelorette and fantasizing about this ex-boyfriend i don't know I became like an old, dirty man. I'm like an old, dirty man. The thing is, I'm not worried if I was to run into this guy that I'd be attracted to him because the truth is

I'm not that attracted to guys in their late 40s. I'm not. I'm married to one. I like that one. But if I'm going to screw around, it's going to be like a 22-year-old shirtless male model. Like 30. Like Justin Bieber. I watch that show and

it gets so horny off of me. You do? Yes, because it's like every guy is just like like when she went around the corner after the pool party and she just did like a toddler jump like how i love in the bachelor how they only pick girls that are small enough to be carried like a toddler you know and i mean i've never been carried by a toddler my whole life and i have bashed this franchise for so long it kills me but i you know what i am now a supporter because they are supporting little people because I'm so sick of Hollywood

and like glorifying the Gigi Hadid's who just like won the genetic lottery and they're six feet tall. I walk red carpet. It does not matter who puts me together, who dresses me, what I'm wearing doesn't matter. I will never look like Gigi Hadid or be celebrated like her because I'm a foot shorter. So thank you The Bachelor. Thank you.

This is the reason. The Gigi Hadid and that's all reality show Instagram fame. It's a time of our life. I mean she's beautiful. Her sister's beautiful. Her mom's beautiful but it is you know it's just they're just the it people i mean it was it was cindy crawford in my day it's just it just happened another tall person but when you see those statuesque beautiful it's not about tall people it's about fat people now it's about being bigger

it's about being bigger and embracing your curves and all of that i want everything but to take it back to the question i feel like this oh the girl screwing yeah first of all i think you have to have a lot of sex before you marry your person because you got to know what you like yeah and what you don't like and secondly you should feel nice that you're having sex with a responsible person yeah like at least he's not a douchebag that's like but it was her ex-boyfriend so they'd already had sex right and if they hadn't i still think good that you did it it's true and also there's something like really sexy about backseat car sex like that's fun and flirty it's so grease so it's so titanic so titanic the wind for it i yeah i don't understand what the problem is i mean

he i wonder how old he is i always want to know how old are and also let's all live in the day where we're not gonna don't worry about your number i know there's like that whole woman thing of like what's your number is it under 10 is it under five yeah you can just lie about it forever like just have sex with people learn what you like learn what you don't like and also i feel like you're young if you're having the sex in the back of a car not in like someone's house that they own yeah and so it's like just do it and have fun and make your memories i do think that if you really do like someone and you think there's potential you wait i don't care how horny you are if you could if you could control your vagina if you could just wait a date or two

yeah oh you definitely should wait a day or two it is in a guy's dna even in 2016 there that you were a bit of a challenge and it'll make him like you a little more and you'll get to know each other and the tension of knowing again with the bachelorette the fact that they couldn't kiss doing that yoga thing and then he couldn't take it anymore and he kissed her that got me hot that got me hot it's like a tension thing yeah it's like if it's so easy if you're giving up anal on the first date where do you go from there girls where do you go you know my rule was always that i didn't have sex with anyone that wasn't my official boyfriend i mean i think that's a classy way to be i know that's like doesn't apply anymore no i get it but like

first of all if you meet the one or you think this one could be a potential relationship not marriage and you want to wait a little he doesn't have to know that you screwed two people in one day in vegas why does he have to know that no he never has to know that you never tell him every day is a new day wipe the slate clean wipe your vagina clean and create who you are he doesn't have to know every day is a new day meet a guy and be like i'm sorry like i just don't i know you get it right and laugh but i gotta know you a little bit better and believe me i'm worth the weight i'm pristine i'm like super excited blue ball make out with him i love dry humping you're Now we're going to dry hump again once you do it.

Once you do it. And when you can feel that penis through the gene. It is hot. How it goes up. Yeah. And it's just, you can see it. And it's just like pushing up against you at your car. Yeah.

I mean, that's just like, why would you want to just throw that away? And also you don't have to worry about the, like, um, UTI after, you know, you never get a bladder infection. you never have to tell the guy i have an early morning appointment but it's really just to go to cvs to get that cream the itch cream that 10 day that monostat three oh my god wait before we go i have a great story about this so do i okay i gave this is god i hope no one's listening um everyone's listening i had a boyfriend once and i had a yeast infection and i had sex with him and i gave him a yeast infection on his penis that can happen it looks like herpes he had

to come to me and he was like who else are you sleeping with i was like no one and we're like what are these red bumps i can and he went to the doctor and it was a yeast infection on a penis i raised that story okay i was first dating my fiance he will die by the way i hope he's not listening i was first dating my fiance same situation and i had the little cream and i was like you know what and then he came into town like like unexpectedly and i was like i'm going to have sex like what am i gonna tell him my excuse sorry i'm a little yeasty down there like absolutely not so i was like i gotta fix this bacon bread only head and yeast is just yeast is too much of fresh dick yeah it's uh yeah you will not once you're married like you'll never get another

it's fresh dick and too much of it yeah or together new semen anyways this is getting really disgusting but you know so i'm in the shower and i'm like prepping and i'm like literally just trying to expel the monostat from inside of me and i look over and you know those squirt bottles that you put up your nose oh my god like a nasal yes nasal rinse yeah you nasal rinsed your vagina i did i used the squirt bottle like a douche that's just like a douche yeah forgot to throw it away the nasal bottle he put it up his nose he used it and i'm like that expelled yeast infection cream out of my vagina this has been a great episode becca and we're gonna end on that because there's nowhere else to go from yeast infection expelled this nope um

guys clearly heather's amazing and if you need more of her in your life which we know you do please download and listen subscribe to juicy scoop it's also on podcast one you can listen on itunes podcast one go to her website check her out find out where she's doing stand-up I will be in St. Louis Thursday, June 23rd through the 25th. I'll be in Lake Tahoe at the Loft Theater on July 3rd. I'm going to be at

Sally Tomatoes in Sonoma on July 29th. I have lots of dates. It's all HeatherMcDowland.net. I'm booking up all through the end of the year. Check it out. Make a note that I'm coming to your city. Please come and enjoy yourself.

Also, make sure to follow her on social media. at heather mcdonald's please thank you also guys follow us too at the lady gang at it's becca tobin at jack vanek at kelty knight submit your ask the lady gang questions on our website theladygang.com subscribe to our podcast leave us a five-star review and we love you so much we will see you next tuesday join the lady gang every tuesday at itunes and at podcastone.com that's podcastone.com thanks for listening