LadyGang - Heather McMahan

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

Our favorite breadwinner, Heather McMahan, joins the gang to discuss her mom's impact on her sex life, being back on diet coke, and beta blockers. Plus, Keltie's new holiday announcement and her recent trip to Cabo, Jac finding the best fake Starbucks name ever and an update on her house, and Becca's bad breath and her Facebook Marketplace smoking mistake!  Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Quince: Get your high-quality wardrobe essentials! Go to Quince.com/lady for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns! Farmacy: Drench your skin in Honey Hydration! Visit FarmacyBeauty.com and use code LADYGANG for 20% off your order! Progressive: Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive! Peloton: Find your fitness push! Head to OnePeloton.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome to lady gang i am becca tobin here with jack vanik and kelty knight another day another dollar another slay another slay queen another slay queen how's everyone doing i'm honestly can't i mean i know this is crazy but like i am preparing our end of the year episodes at the moment and like i i can't believe it's november like it's it's shocking to me i don't know where the year went

i mean i do i remember being there but no this year has gone by faster than any other year like i don't even know what happened this is what older people say is that every year gets faster and faster and i can't imagine it going any faster than it just did no yeah it's just gives me some major existential crises yes when i think about how fast i'm gonna be 80 years old i know well and I like, it's like every kind of like phase of the year where it's like, now we're in the holiday season. Yeah. And I'm like, well, I don't, I didn't get to do the things that I wanted to do. Like it, like prepping for Halloween. And I didn't get a, like, I, I missed it. I'm like, I'll do it next year. But I'm like, but then next year is a year closer to death. And it's like,

am I going to be able to do it next year? It's so dark. And I like, I want to, I'm the same way about this upcoming Christmas holiday season. I have so many Christmas decorations and my whole joy is like, Oh my God, I built and renovated this. I didn't build it, but like I renovated this beautiful house and now I can have Christmas dreams house. And I get the Balsam Hill catalog and I'm like, Oh my God, dreams. And then I'm like, do I have the energy to set up Christmas? Because no one comes here. It's just for me. Chris could care less. So I'm like, am I going to spend an entire weekend setting up Christmas and then come home from my Christmas vacation and take down christmas like i know i can hire people to do that which i should which seems like

very bratty but like i could do that but it's like maybe i just won't set it up this year which then makes me feel so dark and then i'm not hosting the parade this year which is my bad week but i'll tell you about it in a minute oh no that sucks i know anyway all right let me know okay well it's i can't wait another second it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no i'm genuinely devastated about this information what happened what happened okay well here's the good the good bad news my bad week is i am not hosting the thanksgiving day parade on cbs this year because i don't work for cbs anymore i work at nbc i'm the host of e-news so but it actually came out better than i could have imagined because not only am i just not

hosting it. They're just not doing it. CBS is not doing a parade this year. The entire show itself, the Thanksgiving spectacular on CBS is canceled. We actually knew this six months ago. It got like very quietly announced to us, but you know, it's always been NBC has always had that big spot in front of Macy's where people, the Rockettes perform and whatever. And then CBS was always, and we love them for this, but like we had this sort of other version where we were in New York city doing a version of the parade, but it wasn't like the Macy's parade. And I think there was some legalities of that over all these 20 years or whatever, but I did it for nine years. I mean, nine and into almost an entire decade. Um, I've spent every Thanksgiving in New York city. I go

to see the Rockettes, my friend, Nicole do the Rockettes and get up on Thanksgiving day and spend it doing my favorite thing which is like four hours of live tv so i'm pretty like i'm not gutted i'm excited to have the time off but i'm also really sad um because it's just been a tradition for chris and i like we go every year we stay at the same hotel and i don't know it's just gonna be weird this year what are you gonna do well that's the thing i don't know like i um i i might just stay in LA. Like I was trying to plan something and we kind of have like five days off in a row and I'm like, I'm going to go somewhere, but you know, we're going on this big trip at Christmas. I haven't, have I mentioned it to the glob ghost? Um, and so that's like,

you know, I'm spending a lot of money on that. I'm like, I'm not going to go to Hawaii for Thanksgiving. You know, I don't just like have like a traditional Thanksgiving dinner at your house. Like make like a new tradition. She doesn't have anyone to invite. No, That's not true. Even with just you and Chris. I'm going to invite Jack. Well, we'll probably like hang with his family, which I think would be nice. I might do like a Friendsgiving, but like, does anyone want to go to a Friendsgiving?

Yeah. I love Friendsgiving. I love Friendsgiving. Also, any excuse to eat Thanksgiving food? Ew. Because Christina just had a birthday party for her daughter and they had the best catering. There was a falafel sandwich there that changed my life. It had pickled something, radishes and a jalapeno on top of the falafel on a soft little like

in and out burger I was like where have I been all my life so where did this come from it sounds delicious I don't know I need to figure out where the catering because I'm not cooking but like I actually think a friendsgiving could be really nice and then everyone could see the house not that everyone wants to see the house but like you know I think it could be cute I like it anyway so that's my bad week I'm not hosting the parade um and that's crazy but my good week is is that I just got back from mexico and i'm we're considering buying a condo outside of cabo oh fun a vacation house so my really good friend kristin who is a showgirl with me in vegas she has a unit in this six unit little spot and it's not in cabo proper it's like on the other

side but there's an amman where becca got married hotel being built on this beach so you know it's beach yes and it's super like actually pretty affordable for like a investment property and we could go down there we could rent it out as an airbnb like it's been on my bucket list for a few years to like buy an investment property and we've been saving up so i'll keep you guys posted but and then like i could decorate it and does that mean i could could we stay there yes like we could go down for a lady gang long weekend and just podcast and be at the beach like that would be amazing it's it's super cute it's like walk it has its own it's like six little apartments in like a little kind of like apartment townhousey building with its own pool and then you're like

two blocks to the beach which is where i want to be because i don't want to be where the beach and the hurricanes are going to destroy me like i want to be back a little in the safe zone but i mean really if i had 20 million dollars i'd be on the beach obviously but she walks away is very it's not bad like you like can get a little golf cart or whatever but anyway i'm really excited to show it to you guys so for us have you been there yet yeah i've just went this last weekend oh fancy schmancy and i must not have been on the gram long enough this weekend you didn't see it um the water was 84 degrees and we went while watching oh my god i love a hot ocean that's cool that's so cool this for you and for us okay and what's next who's next jack um i'll go so my

good week is i was at starbucks the other day and i heard somebody use the best fake name ever that you can use at starbucks oh i was standing there and they're like drink for voldemort and i was like this is epic because it's like you know it's like the starbucks employees probably like god damn it you know voldemort and it was just like at a random starbucks and i'm like this is really everything really makes sense about this so kelty i know you use your fake name at starbucks but like do you want to start using voldemort well the reason i use joe my fake name J O is because Kelty's hard to spell. And if people are like, what? And I'm like, I'm just taking up time. So I pick something easy, like Joe, you know, but like Voldemort defeats the

purpose because that's actually another whole, like I'm getting my London fog at a later timestamp because you had to write Voldemort on the cup. So in theory, I love the idea and I think it's hilarious, but I'm a time girl. It's four in the morning. We're going on tour. I'm not waiting for you to write voldemort i'll do vo i don't know secretly in my heart it's spell voldemort if you paid me a million dollars well i was gonna say i think like our generation does know how to spell voldemort except for becca yeah it's like i never read a book or watched a movie i don't even know who voldemort is i just know you're not supposed to say it like bloody mary yeah remember it was like it's like what we say for vampire or like voldemort is like how i look in the morning

yes yes or like how i used to photoshop my pictures on myspace like no no's no features yeah it's how i prefer the flash on my photos of voldemort exactly oh my god okay so my bad week is uh we have run into yet another issue on our house oh no jack it's you know it's turning into a little bit of a money pit i don't want to admit it jared definitely doesn't want to admit it but like here we are they were so we're taking out um our wall to make like an open living space and while they were there they like went down into like where the plumbing is and it's like the the the tube that goes takes all of the sewage and all of like the poop and sludge and stuff out to the to the the street like let it drain or whatever it's like 75 calcified so we have to replace the

whole thing i want to show you what our house looks like right now i'll just do like a quick little um jack hammered just take like a little look there's holes everywhere all that's like the inside of our house oh yeah they're redoing the entire plumbing there's it's just like actually insane like our house is unrecognizable how much does it cost to redo it like entire plumbing a lot a lot a lot can i get a ballpark like 30 grand oh yeah that was happened with me in the kitchen i had to i finished the downstairs and then had to open up the whole roof it sucks well and like they're like you don't have to do it but then you're probably gonna have a slab leak in the next like five years and then they'd have to redo like after

you re-renovated your entire house they'll have to go back down in there so you know we're it's just things that i wasn't expecting oh god that sucks i'm sorry it sucks but i guess that's just like what happens when you start opening walls up home ownership home ownership is so brutal yeah my beauty my beauty light is out again so no it's okay it wasn't really working let's be honest it actually wasn't it like for some reason it just was not doing its trick today no um okay so my good week is that i have officially sold an item on facebook marketplace Oh, what was that? Whoa, you're such a mom.

Yeah, so I've been intimidated by the whole process because it is intimidating to talk to strangers and answer dumb questions like, are you a smoking household? Because quite frankly, who is these days? Yeah. Do people smoke inside their home still? I think they do.

Under the age of 80? They do? Okay, all right. Sick. Sick. So gross. So I had this rug that I used for like two months in a guest room and it just wasn't working and i listed it and i just thought if this is going to

be a headache i'm going to donate it but i'm going to give myself a week of you know doing the damn thing and i sold it to a lovely family i love it there aren't all psychos out there no well it's nice we just sold a couple pieces of furniture on facebook marketplace because we don't have any room in our garage now because now all everything is going in the garage and they were weird they were weird yeah i wasn't there thank god but jared was like he's like are they like casing our house right now like what it was very bizarre vibes but i mean they took the stuff they sold the check cleared you know what i mean yeah um my bad week is that i had to go to see an ent to do like a scope you know they'd go up your nose and down your throat to see your vocal cords because i've

just been like doing some just like nothing dramatic but just like dealing with some like vocal cord issues right like i've just been a little raspier than usual it turns out it's from the lady gang live shows and our our meet and greets where we're screaming at people for some reason when we do meet and greets we're right there with people standing but everyone's screaming at each other. Energy's high. Energy's high. So I went to go check some things out and I hadn't been to an ENT in a really long time. And I go to this gentleman, I'm already so awkward with male doctors. I don't know why, but it's so intimate. The experience that you feel like you're on a date, not that you're like attracted or they're attracted to you. It just is a very

weird, intimate, whatever. So he's scoping my throat and I realized I had just eaten a salad on my way here and in my wildest dreams i didn't think that i was gonna have to do anything where he had to like smell my actual breath but it turns out when they scope your throat you have to then sing and like make noises and they're very close it's like a very it's face to face inches away and i had the worst salad breath you could ever imagine in this man's face and that is something that I really really have nightmares about is leaving any interaction where someone was like wow that girl's breath stunk yeah right here so it was I thought about it for three days I thought about it and I have to do a follow-up and I'm actually like wondering

if I say something to him when I am there like hey so sorry about the last time I was there red onions am I right like you know but I don't know that feels awkward and then pop a list mask on no no this is texas no wow yikes i mean i'm sure he smelt it all i know but like it's just upsetting it's so upsetting i don't ever want to be the person any other thing could be okay i would have rather farted accidentally in there yeah kelty are you reading emails no i'm i'm listening i'm like farted in there and then I'm thinking about like what I rather fart or what I like I'm thinking okay I'm like I know hyper focused I'm looking right at you thinking about honestly what I'm thinking about is that

I keep trying to make an appointment to get my teeth cleaned and then they keep canceling and I'm now I'm gonna move to the valley to get my teeth cleaned but the smell that like sometimes when I'm flossing and then like some mouth like smell comes out and I'm like this is I need to have my teeth cleaned like so then I felt gross about myself and then I was like don't tell them that's disgusting. And now here I am. So that's where I was at. Okay. Well, Zach did go to the dentist, um, a very good dentist here that everyone raves about. She doesn't just do the bare minimum. You know what I mean? It's a very holistic overall, your whole body, whatever. And he came home and I have been telling him for probably seven years that it's a very important

you that you floss your teeth. It has to do with everything like your entire health. No, your mouth goes down and it affects your heart. There's all these gum disease, whatever. And I know I'm an alarmist. And he came home and he was like, wow, that dentist was so amazing. He's like, I mean, she really explained like why you really need to floss every day. And I go, this is exactly what I have been preaching and shouting from the rooftop since we've met each other. And you're now just now going to start flossing. Just now realize that flossing is pretty essential. It's pretty essential. Like if you're not flossing, it's actually, there's a problem. There's a problem. I floss every day. It just sometimes stinks.

all right well it's life no i know but i know yeah well you guys asked me what i was thinking about okay now back to the lady gang our guest today was called a budding beauty icon by l magazine a diet coke addict she's officially bread winning way more than us she's got a new hulu special and a cruise and she gets to be a real star and watch what happens live and not a bartender like me please welcome back to the lady gang heather mcmahon hey sluts how are you oh my god yes hey sluts we need this all the time let's bring sluts back let's bring sluts back it's so empowering isn't it oh it's great i love it i feel amazing um how was watch what happens live you looked amazing oh and you got to be in the normal seat yes so i've done it now a couple

times oh and yeah rubbing in him listen it's great you just kind of never know if andy's going to be warm to you or not you know like he's great but you just also he does like so many episodes a week so it's not even really on him i'm just like okay is andy does he is he gonna care today it's more of like is his soul gonna be in his body today yes and it also depends on whoever the housewife is that you're doing the the segment with because if they're also a nightmare then he's also like i've got to hold their hand we're we're all professionals and know how to just show up and make a good show so that's what you're dealing with but last last time i did it was fantastic who are you honestly ronwin from salt lake city and she's new and like actually

has money which i think helps like the broke housewives it's like no like we want the real rich ones she has palm pilot money i know she has a palm and i made the joke on the show it's like well you have palm pilot money but my husband invented the squatty potty and she's like see you get it i was like jeff did not invent anything at all god but wouldn't that be nice god i'd be nice wish i invented the squatty potty how's your diet coke um are you on the sauce you off like give us the update i'm currently right this second off the sauce but kelsey i got back on the sauce when we were doing red carpet stuff because i can't have a nice coffee in the middle of like you know doing interviews or you'll shit yourself there is no

bathroom to go to. Once you're locked on the carpet, you're there for three hours. So that's why I went to Diet Coke. I was like, I get that bump of caffeine, but I'm not going to, you know, have diarrhea running down my leg. So I've been guilted. It's a real mixed bag. Like I was off of it for 12 years. I got back on now I'm off, but tomorrow I'll probably be back on, you know, it's a real addiction. Well, in the vein of Salt Lake City, should you start doing the dirty Diet coke listen the dirty diet coke okay it's what the mormons do they have all those soda shots so they add like coconut cream uh like regular cream or they add a bunch of pumps of weird syrups i think then it defeats the purpose of drinking a diet coke because you're my dad always

said people who drink diet coke it's because they're fat and they're thirsty and i believe that no i call it playing for the tie because if i'm having a giant cheeseburger then i'm canceling it out with the day yeah yeah yeah that's a really good point yeah wow yeah yeah it's it's all psychological it's all psychological um we're i'm so excited about breadwinner you're crushed i'm so proud of you i'm so proud of you you guys are so sweet i love the lady gang y'all are y'all really are a gang of ladies supporting other ladies you know it's Do you feel like that bitch now, Heather? You know what?

I feel like that bitch for like one week while I'm doing press in New York. You know, there's 16-hour days. Everyone's interviewing you, flattering you, and now I'm back at home, and my mom was bitching at me about something, and my husband is like out pressure washing the street. You know, so no, I feel very much so like I'm back in my gated community, and no one gives a – who I am. Yes.

Balance. for breadwinner you wore this beautiful denim sort of set outfit was it custom made it was so actually um jill bream who's the head costumer um at snl she designed it with so it was originally a romper from my favorite gals over at show me your muumuu and then she's like no we need to make this into a dress so or like a skort so then they added a dress to it and we had this like giant um uh coat that was made with it and then i had this hat for like the opening cold open i mean it was pretty cool yeah it was so good if you guys need something to watch this weekend definitely check out breadwinner on hulu it's incredible and i love when you talk about fine

making more money than your husband like what a beautiful time in a relationship heather it really is um it's funny because jeff you know when i first did the material i walked off stage the first time he saw it i was like he's either gonna love it or you know serve me papers and he said this is fantastic you should have gone harder but then as when it came out of course he was so proud of me but i kept getting asked the same question in every interview they're like how does jeff feel about it how does jeff feel is jeff okay has jeff killed himself yet and i was like only only guys would feel insecure about this women have dealt with this shit forever we're just like we'll take it on the gin. So, um, no, but I mean, it's very cool. Um, but also like now, you know, as women

we're fixers, we do everything. So not only am I on the road, but then I come home and I'm like fixing shit in the house. I'm redecorating a wallpapering a bathroom. Like it never stops. I feel like when men go to work, they go to work, they come home, they're doted on and it stops. I still do work when I get home. So that's where my bitterness comes from. Well, Zach and I, my husband, we kind of go back and forth of like who earns more each year. And I'm pretty vocal about the years I'm earning more money that he's going to be my bitch at home. So I think that that is the conversation that can be happening among all couples. And you sit down and you lay it out and say, well, I guess I earned more of this money, more of this year. So you're going to

take care of every thing that has to do with this house in our lives. House husband. House husband. I mean, I told Jeff, Jeff's a great sport. And I told him a long time ago, I was like, that we have to think of this as like we're partners in a business so if I'm out doing all the things and then I come home and things still aren't done then you're not carrying your part of this partnership and you would get fired and he was like one day we were at our country club and he was like oh that makes sense that checks out did it really make sense to him I feel like it should yeah when you talk to men as if you're in a boardroom unfortunately and you're like yeah you're not carrying your percentage of this uh of this duo yeah it clicks I mean Jeff's fantastic

He, he does whatever I need, but also for the longest time, Jeff took care of me. So it's just now me having my moment where I get to beat my chest and be like, bitch, I don't need you to buy me a bag. I'm going to buy one. Goodbye. You know, it feels good. It's a beautiful feeling. It's a beautiful feeling.

Yeah. Um, I want to know about your, your, your mom is living with you. Yeah. We live with her. She lives with us. However you want to slice it. I've moved, I moved back into my childhood home during the pandemic. I thought it was just going to be like a quick, whatever, we're here for a little while.

And my mom was like, I don't really want to get, my mom was going to downsize. But my mom, when she went to go look at, you know, townhomes in Atlanta could not differentiate between downsizing and downgrading. So she was just like, you know, it would be a 5,000 square foot townhouse. She's like, oh my God, I can feel the walls caving in on me. So she's, you know, been spoiled. And so now we all live together in my childhood home. I mean, it's, it's nice. We've got a saltwater pool. It's not like we're like, you know,

tearing down walls and like making it our own. It's just, it's nice. She's like, what do you do? Yeah. But Heather, what do you do when your husband wants you to like put on a costume and wants to like have sex with you on the kitchen table? Like, so we don't have a lot of sex in common areas. So the funny thing was I was asked, It's like, where's the craziest place you have sex? I'm like, where I currently have sex every week in my own home. Because my mom is literally on the other side in, you know, another wing. She's in her wing.

She's in her wing. But still, there are times I have wilder sex when I'm on the road and when I'm on vacation. And I travel so much that Jeff travels with me that we're like two kids getting away. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I mean, and then we have two French bulldogs. So if we have sex at home, I got to, you know, put a pillow over one of the dog's faces. Yeah.

you know it's it's it's it's it's everyone's involved that's all you need to know it's a whole to do yeah and married people's sex whether your parents are in the house with you or not it's sort of the same energy you know yeah it's quiet definitely not having sex on a table speak for yourself i go to italy and i have really wild sex that's where i let my hair down oh my god i'm red wine drunk i'm smoking a cigarette afterwards that's where i really thrive oh yeah oh my god okay and i also know that um you tried pilates yes so here's the deal i love pilates but i the pilates that they do here in atlanta is not like gentle pilates it's mega reformer the laundry method why did you go to like that that's insane that's for giselle

that's where all the buckhead bettys as we call them in atlanta that's where all the fatianas go and here's the problem i may not look like it but i am an athlete and so i'm like if i'm not dripping in sweat you know i was a soul cycle uh cult cult follower for a long time so for me anything that's gentle on my body i'm like that's not doing anything but i threw out my back a year ago so my pt was like you have to do pilates again i just go full throttle i'm all or nothing i'm either like a corpse on the couch or i am running the new york city marathon with no training that's just how i will it's it's a major like psychological personality flaw for sure jack i saw you post that you were like looking for a pilates studio did you ever follow up on that

no no i mean i'm the same and i just haven't made that hump to actually doing it yet i just keep thinking about it one day it'll happen she likes pulling her audience and then never executing yes it's good for the algorithm it is i'm like give me recommendations i won't take them but it. Just let me know. Cool. I'm that way about medical advice every other day. I love to ask my audience, Hey, how do you cure eczema? What do I do about a UTI? And they send me like doctor recommendations, personal numbers, you know, their husbands can write in prescriptions for me and I just still suffer. I just sit in it. Yeah. Yeah. I get it doing that. Yeah. I love it. I think it's amazing. Um, okay. So here's my shady question of the day. It's my watch. What happens? You once

ranked donuts um with hoda on the today show and heather recently you've appeared on some other i'll call them podcasts but you know like therapist call her daddy and dear chelsea including us who do you think ranks the highest in brilliance and razzle dazzle ouch obviously the lady gang because here's the thing it's it's there's more brains there's more lady brains together so it's not just one brain i mean we have a full arsenal of brain power here yes the razzle dazzle is intense i was gonna say razzle dazzle it's i don't know if you're finding that on the other podcast no it's really discalty night is the razzle dazzle that is true jake has some razzle he has some riz oh he has a lot of riz and i and he does the whole thing

kind of stoned i'm pretty sure so he i could not perform like that like he is he's cruising um but i am i am just just want to say you guys are very casual right now i mean we couldn't even put on a a tinted moisturizer do you know where i got this hoodie do you know where i got this hoodie the brand pistachio pistachio brand sent me a sweat oh the piss like oh like actual pistachio actual pistachio like the nuts marketing team i like that sent me this hoodie no we it's so funny so my brother like um sometimes he'll like look watch on the youtube and he's like you know he's like i think it could be great if you like kind of like you know like did something and he's like you know because you guys are pretty girls you know and i'm like yeah but like you know

it's fine at least we have tattooed eyebrows that's true okay could be worse and the thing is is that when we're hot heather it doesn't affect anything no actually the videos go more more viral when we look like hot garbage and i like that people don't recognize me because you know what i'm so famous that like if people did recognize me if they were like it's kelty from the lady gang everywhere i went it would be exhausting like you know what that's like heather these girls don't like it's like i don't want to look like kelty night on e-news i want her to be a she's a completely different person that shows up i do think and heather let me know if you have an opinion on this i think we've surpassed the age

in which it's like cute and charming to go out of your house without putting yourself together yeah i my problem is because i'm a road dog i'm a road warrior i really only have two modes it's full glitter suits feathers diamonds like i'm about to walk on stage at radio city and perform or it's troll underneath the bridge telling you riddles to pass there is no in between like i realize i like especially when i get out of college i'm like i try and put outfits together like a denim. What do I wear with jeans? Like I don't have a jeans and Nike Air Force One and like a vintage tee look. It's like so embarrassing. So I feel you. It's all or nothing in every aspect of my life. Becca's actually very good at this. Like you're good at a casual outfit. I try to do

the same thing and I'm like, I somehow always it up. I'm like, what am I doing? Why do I look so bad? The only reason I can do a casual outfit is because it was the time that the only option was a legging and my vagina claustrophobia in a legging all day is so intense that I just physically couldn't do it. I mean, sweatpants have made their way into the zeitgeist, which is helping, but that's why I had to perfect a casual outfit because my vagina was so unhappy in a legging all day. Yeah, that's tough. That's tough when you have a big vag, you know? Yeah. I've actually been actively searching for underwear specifically on TikTok for like wide vaginas because i have been really diehard on a skims high-waisted thong for a really long time but

it's every day the lips are out it's like i i just need something that's gonna stay firm so that i can you know be in a legging all day i can't believe you wear a thong and a legging i just wear a legging but i know i don't have a bald puss so i i oh you need some i need something they'll come through that happened to me i was literally i was literally at bank of america i was at bank of america i was like depositing checks but i had to go into the branch for something and i it was like it's maybe like 4 p.m in the afternoon i have run errands all over town i have been to sprouts old foods all of it and i get there and i look down i could see pubic here coming through the leggings oh yeah doesn't it itch when it's like poking through you would

have thought but i'm dead inside so i felt oh yeah yeah of course that was a great way for me to end my conversation um i have to go talk to my therapist love you bye see ya when we come back heather is going to rate the other heather mcmahon's of the internet oh you're listening to the lady gang we are back with heather mcmahon who has a new hulu special breadwinner she's got a cruise you're cruising cruising we're cruising can we still apply for the cruise or is it done yes no we have we have some uh bunk still available uh the cruise is next april and it's gonna i'm bringing on other comics and it's just gonna be like themed parties every night like you can dress up as pitbull one night we're doing a master's sunday because we

set sail on master sunday so ivy league theme party yeah it's gonna be four days at sea and absolutely outrageous insane is the is the pitbull is that actually a theme like it's pitbull night yes well it's miami nights so i originated this this trend that all these young girls dress in drag i went as pitbull for halloween like five years ago and then it became this thing that i would do at all my shows i would show videos of me out and about as pitbull so now everyone's stolen the idea, but I said, let's get everybody on a cruise ship dresses pitbull. That would be fun. I love that so much. A bald cap is so great. It's so great. Just dressing in drag as a, when you're a woman dressing as a man, it's so free, you know, I really love it. Yeah. You know,

they made me do that when I was on the insider once it was when I don't watch American horror story, but everyone got to be like, there was the bearded lady. And then I was like the bald guy and they put a bald cap. And I want to actually tell you guys that it's not that fun when you have this face like I have I have the face and body for a full drag and I mean wig beautiful like when you turn me the other way it gets so hideous so quickly like I am the most ugly man that has ever existed on the planet I'm a really good looking man and I think it's because I have soft features so anytime I'm able to do male drag so easy and like people like I can really transform. I'm a community. I love that. Yeah. Even bald, even bald. Oh, even bald. I, in fact,

when I started doing Pitbull, I would have the full bald cap, like the little soul patch, you know, and have all the prosthetics on. And then I would send topless photos to my husband as Pitbull and he loved it. So I don't know what that says about him. That's actually horrendous. Okay. So Heather McMahon. So, uh, when you were coming on the show, I was like, I know what's up with Heather. Cause I've, I've seen you during award season. She's hosting for E and like so many exciting things happening and um you know it's so sad i just want to like say this very quickly so this is going to be my lunch today it's this aloha bar and i just saw on my desk this is so kelty the chaos of this is what i forgot to eat of it yesterday because i do the same thing every

day that's disgusting anyway okay long story short i was like let me just check up on heather and make sure i'm not missing anything because you know i'm a true journalist so i gotta like be prepared you know i did not realize how many other heather mcmahon's there are out in the world and they're doing incredible stuff heather so i only know of like one one gal who's really popping off and she's a real estate agent in dallas texas and she looks just like me but i would love to know who the other competition is okay one heather mcmahon is the global support director at crocs oh shit shut up yeah like post malone has post malone's number i'm sure like damn i would really like that connection heather mcmahon from crocs i need you to meet heather mcmahon and the lady

gang and send us some crocs i mean that's a collaboration and some giblets honestly heather mcmahon's all the heather mcmahon's okay heather mcmahon is also a teacher an ice skating figure skating teacher at skate canada and that's where the olympians go to a star a star is born right there wow exactly speaking of leggings you know yeah heather mcmahon is also a doctor at jefferson plastic surgery oh well i would love a discount to get something you know an upper blef i mean my god she needs to reach out yes you know that heather mcmahon like can we get like a little filler like i don't even know where jefferson plastic surgery is but like if you're listening doesn't matter yeah we would really like we're ready yes okay sorry these are so stupid this is great are you

kidding me i love this i'm gonna look at every single person now other heather mcmahon in heather mcmahon will design your bathroom at signature kitchen and bath oh listen i i'm redoing a bathroom right now i'm trying to figure out if i'm gonna wallpaper a powder room so i would really like that heather to call me i wallpapered my powder room and i regret it except people love it except that i went for the like super expensive anthropology wallpaper that's like it has little like it has little sloths like smoking and stuff like it's just i went like real chichi the rest of my house is very plain but like i went really like i went for it and then every time i go in there and i'm like i'm so cheesy so that's my opinion on wallpaper in a

powder room i think it's gonna be cool because america like architectural digest those people the rich people always have like some weird powder room with like some obscure wallpaper that's like gold foil and then when you do it in real life you're like yeah i just wanted to i i collect all this art on etsy of like fat cats sitting on toilets smoking oh my god and i just kind of want to do like an art installation of fat cats i'm taking a dump but i also agree it could the rest of my house is very italian so why would i lean into just have a random bathroom no fat cats yeah i love that i know i love it i think you should do it that's what that's what a random powder room is for is to do something wacky and then you can always take the cats down

yeah you really can and then jack jack well heather you don't know this but i only have one friend and then um so when my one friend well my my gays came over i have two friends but they come together as a couple so it counts as one and um they left me a bumper sticker in my bathroom taped to the wall underneath one of the sloths they added a second sloth um bumper sticker that says let that shit go and so when you sit down to shit you look at the sticker except that i'm like nobody poops in the powder room like right well maybe you do gays but like i i go down to the full bathroom when i want to poop i'm going to my ensuite like i'm not the powder room is for you don't want to stink it up no see what my husband does we could have somebody staying in

our guest bedroom which is right on the same like it's right outside and my husband in the morning will go down there and still shit in the the communal bathroom no like what are you claiming your territory who does this wait that's so weird so weird right actually you know what my husband kind of does the same thing he likes to poop as far away as possible he likes to go to another area of like that's not far if there's somebody staying yeah no my husband does it right next to the door yeah it's close oh that's weird it's bizarre it's okay the last heather mcmahon is a licensed clinical mental health professional well well i could really use a nice therapy session so this bitch needs to at least write me some prescriptions for SSRIs or something

please have you ever taken a beta blocker before a big show no so interesting enough I didn't even know what about beta blockers till about two months ago and I asked my doctor for prescription and I have yet to take it I have never I've never taken you don't need it no but I'm I'm sweating like what especially when we're doing red carpet stuff that is like a mind it's not gonna help with sweat no there's a different drug that stops you from sweating yeah okay well what does the beta blocker do the beta blocker takes off your nervousness so like when i had big auditions or becca was had big auditions she would take a beta blocker so that you don't your body isn't like i'm excited about this and then you like screw up like you could take the beta blocker

before the red carpet so that you weren't like so nervous but you're not nervous you're very natural at it you're not like it's like isn't it like a xanax without like yeah it doesn't make you sleepy it just takes away your like the nerves of like if you're doing a big show or you're about to film breadwinner and all the executives were in the thing and you had one shot to get it right or like you were hosting snl and you were like i don't wanna which i hope you do um you were like i don't wanna like screw this up it's too big you know you could take a baby blocker and it's just you with no nerves could i take one on like a random tuesday just to see how i feel and like just absolutely but you won't feel anything you'll just feel as if like you didn't have your cup of

coffee that day like you won't it doesn't change anything you need to be heightened to take it to bring you back down yeah okay but it doesn't bring you down it just normal normal takes away that like dread of can you do this i should have been taking beta blockers for like the last four years on tour i don't know why i just 100 it makes it like i remember when i was auditioning and i was very nervous to do my screen test for entertainment tonight and because everyone was in the building and everyone was watching it. And like, there's a thing when I get nervous that I can't read the teleprompter.

And so I was like, okay, so I took a beta block before that. And it was just me, but like I could just like read the teleprompter as if it was like a random Saturday and I was on like some shitty show. Like I wasn't like worried about it. I had this theory, I suck at auditioning.

Like I'm a great actress, but I am not a good auditioner. If it's a scene, I'm so terrible because I'm always worried about like memorizing everything. I have this theory though, that every single audition that I've ever done is just going to be played at my funeral. It's not actually, like, no casting director actually saw it, even if I was in the room.

It's just going to be played, like, the Truman show at my funeral, and everyone's going to have a laugh at my expense. I'm so convinced by that. I love that. Are you auditioning for, like, characters? Because I, I mean, this breaks my heart, but everybody knows I was on hold for Hacks, supposed to

play myself. On hold for a Cheetos commercial, supposed to play myself. Red carpet reporter. I can't even book the job as the red carpet reporter and that's what i do for a living wait a minute you as yourself and you're not booking it well we got it we might need to adjust we might need a pivot i think so they booked an instagram model to play kelty on the red carpet in a cheetos commercial with uh jay balvin wait what the yeah i'm angry for you i know it was crazy and i was like no one says who are you wearing better than me bitch yeah that okay well i'm not eating cheetos they can themselves

yeah i miss you cheetos but i'm not eating you no we're boycotting cheetos boycott anyway heather we love you you're so funny you guys go to hulu watch heather's uh doc oh my god it's a documentary documentary special documentary brand winner you can head on over to her socials right now heather mcmahon and get tickets those last few bunks to the cruise because pitbull night sounds great so fun yeah it's gonna be incredible i know you have such a busy day thank you for stopping and we will see you next tuesday lady gang is produced by podcast one with podcasting production assistance from steve delameter derrick haley editing by jared monaco and social support from collie carrera and mastermind evil genius from kelty knight

Thank you.