LadyGang - Heather Morris

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

It's time for a little Glee reunion! The ladies second favorite, Cheerio, Heather Morris, stops by to discuss her new scripted dark comedy podcast, The Bystanders, leading everyone to share the worst crime they’ve ever committed. And as someone that truly walks the walk, Heather shares her recipe for balance and success. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Total Wireless: Do amazing with your phone plan at TotalWireless.com Omnilux: Use code LADYGANG to enjoy $50 off your first purchase at omniluxled.com OR check out the link here https://bit.ly/3vLML9n  Best Fiends: Download the 5 star-rated puzzle game, Best Fiends FREE today on the App Store or Google Play European Wax Center: Visit waxcenter.com to book your reservation today and check out the new line of products — remember, your first wax is free! Hyundai: Learn about the all-new Tucson at Hyundai.com  Apostrophe: Save $15 off your first visit with a board-certified dermatologist at Apostrophe.com/lady when you use our cod e: LADYSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the Lady Gang. You're about to listen to our podcast, but there is so much more our community has to offer. Follow us at the Lady Gang, join our secret Facebook group, shop our clothing line, books, and find out when we're going to be in your city at theladygang.com. We're so excited you're here. Enjoy the show. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by the all new Hyundai Tucson, the SUV reimagined from the inside out. Learn more at hyundai.com. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang.

That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to The Lady Gang. I am Becca Tobin, here with Jack Vanek and Kelty Knight. Hello. Hello.

How is everybody? I'm doing good. Kelty, you look very pretty and very glowy. thank you so much I don't know um you probably saw it on my Instagram yesterday but I did a spa day in my bathroom yeah it was intense it was intense but I thought you know I just want everyone to know how much work it takes for me to look kind of presentable um I also have like not to say I'm so important but I have an important meeting later that I have to like look good for so I'm surprised that it wasn't on our calendar all your personal meetings all of her meetings

come up on our calendar and first and then I move them then I move them know that she's super busy with us because sometimes it's like really big meeting is it's like meet with Jeff Bezos 3 p.m and then I'll send a text in the group I'm like do we have a meeting with Jeff Bezos and it's like and Kelsey's like oh my god I'm so sorry I don't know how that happened I don't know how that happened to be on your calendar even though I have to press lady gang when I put the calendar in sorry also I have a question about your primping you did a spray the Saint Tropez I need to know about it too me too it's a mist can you tell me yeah okay do you guys follow that instagram things i bought and liked uh are you kidding me she's my friend and by friend i mean

we do yeah okay well i love that instagram because she doesn't do any sponsor pose i don't know why she's doing it if she's not getting paid but live your life um anyway so she posted about it and she was like this product's incredible so i literally ordered it because of her so she should be making commission but she's not and um so it's it's the saint tropez purity mist and it's basically okay there's a couple things at work here number one the mist that comes out when you press the pump is the finest mist i've ever seen come out of a pump not aerosol it's not aerosol it's like actual like hairspray pump you know so it's not like droplets no it is so misty that's like the L'Oreal one that I used for a while. But that's an aerosol. Oh, you're right. I get it. This is

like a pump. An actual pump mist. Yeah. Pump mist. And it's the hint. It's like very, very light and it does not clog pores. And so what I do is after I finished my whole night of like, you know, I like to put so much serum on, I do a light misting of just my chest and face. And then you wake up in the morning and you're just kind of like alive, but it's not full spray tan. i don't do my arm because my arms and stuff are getting tanned it's like the spf 50 is where i wear on my face so i never have a tan on my face but then sometimes my legs are kind of tanned so it doesn't turn your blackheads black not at all that's the thing that's the grossest thing yes well my not even blackheads it's just my no it's your pores it'll just get into my pores and i'll

have orange dots all over my face no it's really good and um isn't this sephora sale on right now so you can probably get a discount go get it well that brand is my favorite uh body tanning so i have had used their other products and i don't love them so oh really i love their body like mousse all right i hate the body mousse love your life we bought and liked i want her to come on the podcast so bad i know oh yeah that'd be great i think it's because she has like a very corporate job she makes a really good living which is why she doesn't she can come on anonymously i know, I really, I invited her to our show when we were, um, when we were doing our live shows in Texas, cause she lives down here. Um, and something came up for her, but she was going to

come. And I was like, if you come, will you come on stage and talk about some of your products? She's like, Oh, I don't think I can. We need to re-ask her about coming anonymously on the podcast. We can even change your voice if you want. I'm so annoying. I send her DMS a lot. I'm like damn it what's this thing that you talked about i forgot she must get those all the time but she's so nice and she always responds um okay well anyways we have done a big intro and now it's time for a quick little good week bad week good week yes it is bad week oh no i'll start okay um so i live in austin as i've said eight million times already but just in case you guys are new to the podcast. I am someone who I used to see the memes for target and I would kind of be not

snooty about it because I love target. I'm not like above target. I love it, but I never understood going in and getting sucked in. Like I would go for the thing I needed and I loved that, but you're not the $300 buyer. No, I'd be like, what are these women doing? They're saying that they go in for one thing and get 300. I don't get it. Well, I stand corrected. I've been to Target every other day since I've been here. I've spent an embarrassing amount of money, but it is so nice. And it's just like they have organizational stuff now where you don't even have to go to the container store. You can just get it all at Target. All the collaborations they're doing now are chic. Like McGee and Co has a whole collaboration. It's so great. This is not a

target ad but i get it i'm sucked in i'm drinking the kool-aid and it feels good uh and they have a starbucks in this one like they have in a lot of them which is like again genius genius do you think that the reason why you love target so much now is because it was such a pain in the ass to go to a target in la yes the one in the in west hollywood was like 85 late levels of a parking garage and there's nothing that stresses me out more than a vertical target like that gave me pure anxiety going into the vertical ones and you have to take an elevator to every little section i'm like vertical target i didn't know why i was stressed but you've just uncovered it well come out a sprawling target i can't wait to go on a target run in austin when we come see you come out to

b cave and we'll just go ham that's the area of town it's in okay um my my um bad week is that my PMS irritable irritability for the last two months has been like a goddamn freight train and I hate myself and everyone around me hates me too. And I don't know what to do about it. Is it just during PMS or the last two months is just straight? Oh no, it's, it's legitimately, I'll check my period tracker and I'll be like, every time it'll say in six days, you're getting your period. I'm like, Oh, of course it's in six days because I hate everybody today and every day up until I bleed. But then it's like a great release. And you're like, ah, that's why you take that big period poop. And you're like, and then all your emotions go with this. No,

that's exactly how it is. I don't have constipation in my life. I am the most regular person. So i don't know i don't know my poos here have been incredible you know what really helped me is um when candace was on the podcast the hormone expert if you haven't listened to those episodes go back and listen to them i got my hormones tested with her and now i do progesterone cream on the back of my knees i mean i don't know that's like a whole thing but it has loaded my whole issue with my fertility bullshit my body hates progesterone so maybe that's maybe my body just hates me maybe that's it sounds like yeah it's like get out of here becca rest in peace becca uh who's next jack i'll go so my good week is i got a pretty amazing dm on instagram it's from marissa and

marissa says okay so listen to this week's episode when you all said butthole about 15 times this is obviously the episode uncomfortable facts when it turned into a butthole episode uh i was paying for my groceries with the podcast pause in my airpods in my pocket somehow it started playing from my phone instead of my airpod so loud literally the moment you're all saying butthole i was so embarrassed i kept fumbling and couldn't get it to pause and the buttholes just kept on coming i was dying so embarrassing that makes for a good story like sorry marissa sorry i would love like if nobody's listened that episode yet the uncomfortable facts like please go and i would love a butthole count count someone count the buttholes we should have a wait let's all of us

right now, predict how many we think are in there. 15. Oh, 36. 37. Okay. Is this like the prices, right? Closest to, but not over. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Fine. Okay. My, um, bad week also has to do with balls. So I'm in Phoenix right now. Uh, we're staying at an Airbnb and there are so many mosquitoes here. I don't know. I never knew that mosquitoes existed in the desert in Phoenix. when it is 100 degrees out but there are so many mosquitoes they're biting me everywhere i got a mosquito bite on my face and this morning i woke up and i don't know how i don't know when but i have a mosquito bite on the inside of my fucking butt cheeks i've had that before butthole by my butthole right next to the butthole near it like an inch away from my butthole um is that because

you rarely wear underwear mitts i wear underwear all the time i don't want my skirts with the high slits oh you just hike your underwear up and i'm not wearing those right now i'm with my parents i mean who oh i have standards you know uh i've seen you in some pretty questionable parental outfit oh yeah i definitely wear them in front of my parents but because may is a cool mom they love you no matter who you what you do your whore does but how does a mosquito crawl up in your butthole do you think it was when i was sleeping like the moisture yeah they thought it was just like a refuge but it was just i squished it i guess and then it wow clap it up congrats right on my butthole um well well uh hey uh bad

week so we've moved into this new house we're about three weeks in and still not a lot of furniture not a lot of things for callie to play with like she likes to rest on a couch or whatever we don't have that so she has taken up a new hobby which is hump the fuzzy blue blanket she makes the blanket she like takes her little paws and makes it into a very conglomerate pile conglomerate is not the word dog-sized pile a dog-sized pile like she likes it to be not flat like a real like little boulder a bump she creates a bump and then she humps the out of it for like until she's out of breath like she's stop and like she's panting and i'll just come in and i'll just hear something and i'll be like what are you doing and she'll just be in a

room humping and i never thought she was that sexual because you know she was a teen mom when we got her she was only four months old and she was lactating so she already had had Oh my God. I never realized that. Yeah. She was a little baby mom. And so then we got her fixed because she wasn't fixed. And anyway, she just loves to hump. So at least one of us in this family loves to hump right now, you know? Well, is it because Orly's not around and she used to hump Orly? I know. I don't know. I think maybe she's missing Orly. What a life, you know? Ain't nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Um, good week. Okay. I, um, you know, I, you know, I like to try every, um, every like makeup thing under the sun, right? Like every product, every treatment

or whatever. I had never done the micro needling before. Um, and I, I thought this seems like it would hurt or it'd be bad. I think people are always like, how do you make your skin tighter? And it's like the cream, the whatever. I think microneedling is the one with that. I just got microneedling last week too. Yeah. Um, it's great. I've had it twice now and I didn't want to give a review on it until I felt like it actually worked. Like it wasn't just like in two days it's over like a facial, you know, but I actually think that if you had to invest money on something, I would do microneedling over like other things that I've done. Well, the thing with microneedling is you need to do a series of them. Like you're not going to

really see the results from one. You need to do like five, like once a month for like five months. And then you see like a complete change in like the texture and your pores and like all that kind of shit. My pores have shrunk massively from microneedling regularly. I need it. I've only done one all right well today on the podcast we have a fun game and we have our friend heather morris who's back and um and it's great so stick around stick around okay this next sponsor is one that i shamelessly reached out to a couple months ago because i'm such a huge fan of their stuff omni lux it's that red light mask that you've seen me wear on instagram and a lot of you ask what does it do and does it work well first of all it does work it's the first home use fda cleared

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any lines or devices activated later in the first 30-day cycle will receive only the number of days remaining in that cycle savings claim excludes taxes fees auto pay discounts and limited time pricing source competitor websites 10 2020 oh my favorite topic sexy vehicles the new hyundai tucson falls under that category and we know why so they questioned everything when they created the best tucson ever every inch of this all-new tucson has been completely reimagined resulting in an SUV loaded with available innovations, both inside and out. Let me tell you, this car is sharp. We rode around in it from the outside to the inside. Every detail they have thought of from design to technology to safety, every aspect of the new Tucson has been improved upon. So the SUV

has been completely redesigned inside and out, like I said, and it has a digital key that allows you to use your phone as a spare key, game changer, LED daytime running lights that are stylishly hidden within the front grill, making them invisible when not in use. Very chic look. and a user profiles plus 10.25-inch full-touch infotainment screen on the inside. I felt like I was in a spaceship. They are very, very good at designing cars, and this one is like no other. Hyundai, it is so good. The new Tucson, it's even better.

So go to Hyundai.com to learn more. Hyundai.com. You're listening to The Lady Gang. So we're going to get to Heather in one second, but we actually teamed up with Hyundai to show our support for small independent venues across the country. As you know, COVID has impacted so many legendary venues that we love, closing them down for over a year. And these stages have hosted some of our favorite shows like comedy, musical theater, Broadway. And it's important to us and to Hyundai that these venues remain open for future

generations and future raging for us. So the National Independent Venue Association, known as Neva was created to provide support for these venues. They started the Neva Emergency Relief Fund to provide assistance to these venues, especially those at the highest risk of going under. And that is why we partnered with SaveOurStages.com. So you can head on over to SaveOurStages.com to donate. Over the next month, we are going to have two vodcasts coming out and they are video and it's the secret project we've been working on and we wore makeup and I'm wearing like a bow in my hair and it was amazing. So we decided to do the first vodcast around broadway and to find out who like the final real roxy heart is and then um the second vodcast is

going to be rock and roll um do you say rock and roll that sounds lame anyway um it's going to be available to watch in our facebook group in our private facebook group so if you're not on the private facebook group uh make sure to get in there it's going to be on our instagram at the lady gang of the ig tv and it's going to be on live x live this thursday may 27th okay so anyway that was a lot of information but in celebration of this big thing becca wants to tell a story about me when i got in the new tucson okay so this is not planned by the way i don't even know what the story is was i there either and i'm like i it must be embarrassing but i don't remember being embarrassing so i know first of all jack this was like your favorite moment of lady gang history but

we're standing outside the ace hotel which is where one of the the vodcast that we recorded was in, which was so epic. Like it's probably the first and last time any of us will ever be asked to be on the stage at the Ace Hotel. Oh my God. Yeah. Anyways, that's not, that's beside the point. So we get to drive to these vodcasts in the new Hyundai Tucson. It's the sexy SUV. You've heard us talk about it on the podcast and we're in and we're being filmed for the vodcast so that we can have this segment to open it. It's very cool. It's like a little commercial. Yeah. We We feel very important. And not only are we getting out of this sleek vehicle, above us, there's a marquee that

says, you know, today presenting the Lady Gang by Hyundai Tucson. So it was a real deal. And of course, Kelty gets asked by our director to show herself opening and closing the back of the SUV. Well, it's a touch, which I've never used before. It was game changer. You just press your little finger to that pad and then the whole thing comes down. I feel like if you're a mother, this would be, like, game-changing.

But anyway. For sure. So, of course, Kelty takes her shining moment to film her solo shot of her showing the magic trunk opening and closing. And as Jack and I are just standing by watching her do her little segment, this big bus comes by. And we're downtown L.A. and the bus comes by and without even a moment to think about it kelty shoots her hand up in the air and smiles and waves as if they're spotting like mickey mouse at disney world like kelty felt like an actual celebrity in that moment she's like of course they're looking at me

i gotta give them a wave like it's one of those tmz buses it really felt like she has done this her whole life schlepping to their downtown jobs on the bus and kelty's with like this beautiful vehicle on the side of the road in stilettos showing its magical features and she just thinks like literally didn't skip a beat and she's the world famous celebrity that people would obviously recognize honestly i i bet you that clip i hope that they use that clip and when they're showing this whole thing because it probably looks amazing like you probably look like a fantastic commercial actor in that moment just felt like people were looking me in the eyeballs so i was like i should be friendly and wave and then also it doesn't matter like sometimes when i would be

at um the universal studios lot for work sometimes like the that trolley would drive by i would always wave i was like these people are from michigan they don't they're like and we saw celebrities on the lot like i'm like in my little stilettos i'm like they don't know what show i'm from. That's true. That's true. They probably made it up in their own mind, whoever you are anyways. Exactly. Okay. So in honor of our, um, our vodcast that's Broadway focused, I know Becca told this story, but I did want to have like one little funny Broadway joke. And so my favorite song of all times that I actually wanted to have as my audition song, but never could sing it is from rent. And it's that take me out tonight. You know that song? Oh, wow. Yes. Mimi sings it.

Mimi sings it. Okay. So if your lover was to take you out tonight. Lover? Like Jerry, Zach. I mean, I was going to, if your lover was going to take you out tonight, where do you want to go and what do you want to do? Tonight. Take her out tonight. Well, actually I would like my lover to take me out to really any restaurant in Austin because apparently now that the world's opened up again, it's impossible to get a reservation

at any decent restaurants in Austin. So that's where I would like to go magically have a reservation. Just any restaurant, please. Anywhere. If my lover were to take me out somewhere. Take me out. No, you just said that for me. I'll just use yours. okay um i mean my my biggest want with all of the closures and everything with the world is just a nice a bowling date a gross yucky bowling alley that's where i want to go what about you kelty if my lover took me out tonight i want to go to like a 10 o'clock p.m full body massage oh wow I know that sounds so sexual, but like, I haven't had a full massage since the pandemic and I love a spa. Like that's my happy place. And Chris and I used to go sometimes to like the Thai massage

and they, you know, you just get like an hour or another hour or whatever. Anyway. Um, I would love to go for like a nighttime massage and then you just get into bed and you're so warm, but right now we're sleeping in our bathroom. So it's not as sexual. I want to tell you one more thing, please, please watch the vodcast. We really like, I did the splits. I mean, we like went there. Um, and we want to say thanks again to Hyundai, uh, tune into our Broadway show from the ACE theater. What? We're so famous in Los Angeles this Thursday, May 27th. You'll be able to watch it in our private Facebook group on the lady gang, um, Instagram TV and on live X live. And don't forget the whole reason we got involved in this is to help support the amazing venues by visiting

save our stages.com to donate. All right, let's get to Heather. Our guest today last visit us in 2017 when we asked her to bring tons of dirt on becca and she was super nice and had nothing mean to say about her at all a former homecoming queen former so you think you can dance baby a queen bee backup dancer a screen actors guild winner a dance with a star shocker and of course our second favorite cheerio she's back with a new scripted podcast the bystanders starring kristin chenoweth jane lynch and ed westwork and a bunch more a comedic ed westwick ed westwick west work west work i'm also looking at this through my mic a comedian a comedic dark comedy a little bit campy sprinkled with true crime obviously we love it already please welcome

back to the lady gang our family heather morris welcome uh kelty i feel like you should be a writer for television that was like cryptic and amazing my intro i know it was she did say comedic dark comedy i think it's just dark comedy no i took that off the internet so someone else wrote it i probably did i probably screwed it up well heather i also think that you should add well what we should add to your bio is mother of two small boys because i've been sharing my house with two small boys this week we have friends staying with us because their house is being renovated what the actual is this witchcraft and how how on earth do you do this well here's how i look at it because right now they are five and seven and like you said they're terrors like

boys are just a completely different species than us and oh yeah they don't know how to clean up unless you say it three times in a row or like five. And I mean, it's super hard now, but I just always look at it like when they're 13 and 14, and this is like discussed between moms, like moms now who have boys and we're all just over, we're like at 13 years old, it will be worth it when the girls are being assholes to their moms and the boys are just doing sports and you just have to talk to them about sex you're like front-loading the hell the the hellish times of parenting oh yeah yeah you're gonna be in bliss when your boys are like mommy you're the most beautiful creature that ever walked the earth till the day they die like they're going to worship

you there's a light at the end of the tunnel for sure because there is gonna be hell for every girl mom out there oh for sure for sure so is the podcast not a comedic dark comedy well yes it absolutely is a comedic dark comedy just dark comedy is is oh because you don't have it cancels it you don't have to say it twice a dark comedic dark comedy you just say dark did you just get that i just got it just now wow that's where we're at welcome to the lady gang yeah yeah yeah yeah so it is so essentially this is a dark comedy podcast written by two female writers and directors ash lindsayan and jacqueline hales um who are my producing partners um and this story is about a a group of neighbors who discover one of their own getting

brutally murdered in their apartment complex and they do nothing about it or so you believe you come to find out much later they have more to do with it than you think oh uh so we have just an amazing cast we have Kristen Chenoweth is our lead uh Jane Lynch is our narrator Michael Hitchcock uh Oscar Nunez Ed Westwick makes a little guest appearance in it it is hysterical we're produced by Black Label Media and Believe uh for distributing and it's just like it came together so well and I never would have expected it I feel like you were meant for dark comedy yeah i absolutely is so dark comedy like it it's crazy i know and it's weird because you never know like as a comedian what your avenue is until you like discover it yeah and i've always loved dark

comedy i've always felt like i'm a little off in my humor um no one did a line reading like heather morris what do you mean really okay so like so you could give what's the line so it's the way somebody uh reads a line like a scripted line so you could have given 10 people in the cast the same line and nine of them would have said it pretty similarly like their translation their understanding of whatever the line was was like blah whatever normal then you give it to heather and she says it in a way that you're like what how is her brain work like this also how is this working because she somehow makes working how is this working it was such a common question like how on earth it's like this special sauce that you have in your performances that like if there's

something that's going to be like a little offbeat but hilarious give it to heather and like that's that's your role it's weird because look like now when i watch myself i i don't know i think i tried to steer so far from what i did before as an actor i don't want to make the same choices every single time like you know you feel like it's boring sometimes and so now i watch it i'm like what the fuck but it's so funny like so funny so weird i love it oh speaking of um dark comedy and crime uh because you're now on a you know you've entered jack vanix lane which she loves a murder podcast even though this is scripted and not true crime i love a true crime but this is this is so exciting and interesting to me like i haven't i've never listened to a scripted

crime podcast like yeah we're so into it so what i want to ask everyone here today what is the worst crime you've ever committed oh shit the worst crime you've ever committed oh i mean i shoplifted that's pretty bad yeah would you shoplift some lip glosses yes mine mine was also a shoplifting i think i told the story like in the beginning of the podcast when my cousin shoplifted a thong from jc penny and she got put into the mall jail which is the really creepy yeah they just which is just a room with a guy takes you into the room she was 13 it could never happen today but during her kleptomaniac phase um i was too scared to take anything but i did the only thing i've ever stolen is the little ball to a belly button ring i'm

taking from mall kiosk that is so weird and then i felt so bad i never i think i would do something like that too like take just the ball because you're missing your own yeah because it always fell out yeah like i mean it's a replacement you should get them for free anyways yeah it's ridiculous um when i was 16 years old my mom bought me an a cadillac escalate ext wow because she was out of her mind and she didn't realize such a small car such a small car wow um and i was just reckless i was an idiot with it and i was in the bowling alley parking lot and i backed into another car and then i left and oh as an idiot because i had to go back to pick somebody up i went back and so there are policemen there oh my god they were like excuse

scene of the crime and with your busted bumper i had nothing on mine but theirs was busted oh that's like the number one rule of crime is that you don't return to the scene once you don't return you can only the the guilty do because yeah as i've learned from jack's podcast because i listen to it a lot you do like yes i do i love your podcast it is so good thank you yeah my husband loves it too oh my god i love that yeah it's most of those like those like weirdos and crazy people like show up because they like what is it they just feel yeah they're like proud or and it's like taunting and then they just want to be connected to like people that show up for like vigils and shit like that it's but yours is almost as bad it's like dead to me where they

went to the they threw the vigil yeah like people do that all the time so weird well i lived illegally for two years in the united states so i'm just gonna like put that out there as my crime i think you can go to jail for live your life um now i'm i'm i have a green card so i think people do that though i did go to the bar when i was like 15 so yeah i had a fake id oh i had a fake id i used my sister's id so smart for a while that's definitely illegal so yeah i probably have a pretty long rap sheet if i really thought about it rap yeah i do too yeah um okay so heather i following on instagram obviously and i saw i love an inspirational quote and you had posted something is a little bit older but i saved it and so i wanted to bring it up and i wanted you to kind

of explain why it spoke to you because i really think we need a little inspiration right now so the quote said an entire sea of water can't sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship similarly the negativity of the world can't put you down unless you allow it to get inside you Oh, just a moment for that. Take a moment. It's just a moment. Let it sink in. Let it. I just feel like, I mean, just as somebody who struggled with mental health multiple times, um, at a young age, I lost my father and I dealt, uh, privately with depression and I like never went to seek help. And then growing up, you know, after glee happened, it was a, a very exciting and an also anxious time for me. Um, and both of those times I allowed the world to kind of dictate

my thoughts, my emotions, my outcomes. And I think if you just don't allow the opinions of others and you allow yourself to feel the way you feel, it's okay. And you should feel like that is valid enough wow spoken like a true boss also also easier said than done but it is a lot easier said than done it is so hard but i will say i've seen you grow in this way so so so much because i met you at the peak of the fame the craziness the a lot of opinions about everybody and you, um, and the rest of the cast. And I think that seeing you over the last 10 years, almost nine years, 10 years. Yeah. Well, um, it actually, you are someone who does walk the walk as far as living your truth and not being apologetic about your opinions and using your

voice. And I cannot say the same for myself. I am still so scared of other people's opinions and judgments. So I always admire you and your ability to do that. I think you've done a beautiful job. Yeah. I mean, as Jack said, it takes a lot of work. Like I think when I met you, I was at my lowest point in the show and it's because I allowed so many people's opinions to affect me to where i felt like literally a piece of shit like on the floor a piece of dog shit and um you know you have to get to your lowest point to realize like how you need to grow and what what you need in order to thrive and be um so i mean as hard as it is it's like we go through those times in order to be better yeah isn't it so sad though like that you would be at the height like everyone

looking in at you was like oh my god she break out so funny so beautiful incredible life like and you were at your lowest it's so interesting how those things never happen at the same time never and i i actually seek to a lot of actresses and actors who talk about that because it's very common like so many people have that um and i think like i always say there should be counselors for actors getting into the business and like becoming successful because we need advice in order to say like, you don't have to say yes to everything. Like somebody has to guide you and say like, you will completely fall from your place. If you're not smart and careful about your choices. Cause if you work too hard, you're going to crash. Well, it's such a unique position

to just to be well, number one in the entertainment industry and doing the things that you guys do. Like there's not a roadmap of what you should or should not do, how you should mentally handle a situation. And it's not like you could just go to a therapist that deals with like everybody and they can just tell you how to deal with it because the pressures and people, you know, knowing every little thing about you and judging every little thing about you, it's on a different level that a normal person with a normal job and a normal life just like could not even comprehend. Right. And you're a target for dirt bags. So you get on this hit show. Everyone knows you're making a decent living. Everyone knows that you have this crazy platform. And if you trust the

wrong, it can take one person. If you trust one person that they have the capabilities of completely ruining an experience and taking something from you that does not belong to them, but you don't know any better because nobody gives you that handbook. It's also American culture. Like as we watched in the free Britney documentary, like Americans are awful at bringing somebody up and then tearing them down. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. It's a sick, sick thing as humans, like whatever that mentality is, like we can't help ourselves and we all do it. That's the other thing that's so screwed up is like, we want to champion somebody to the point at which we can They're at the top, but then we want to get them to a place where we can tear them down.

It's so, oh my gosh, I was watching the Michael Jordan documentary and it was the same exact thing. It's like anybody that gets that big, they get that big to be literally smashed back down on the ground. It's so insane. I was going to say, I, the next thing I had written down was a very old interview. This is probably from that time. Someone was like, what's your goal?

What's your next thing? and you were like, I just want to get married and I want to have babies and like, and you did that, you know? And so you've had both of those things you've had, you know, I think whatever you were going through, you were smart enough in that moment to be like, my real purpose in life is to like have this family. Um, does it fulfill you in the way that you thought it would like, or was it more fun to be at the part of your life where you're like, I'm on a hit TV show and all these people are coming after me? I think it's a matter of balance. I think I'm somebody who like puts all my eggs in a basket and then all of a sudden I'm like, shit, I need

to like, yeah, I hate this basket. Not hate it, but like, I'm really sick of this basket and I want to change it a little bit. Um, I did that with Glee. I did that with parenting. Like I'm just an all in person. And so I'm trying to diversify my life in that way. Uh, you know, just create a balance, like not just doing all of one thing at once, not just being an actress all at once, not just being a mom all at once. Like really, like how can I make my day work as a working actress or a producer and then also be a good parent? And I mean, it's intangible, obviously. Nobody can do it. And let's throw a wife in there. Yeah, a wife. I know. It's like a full-time job.

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unlimited talk text and data plan for 25 per month one gig at high speed then 2g total wireless do amazing one month equals 30 days terms and conditions at total wireless.com you're listening to the lady gang okay so here's the game welcome back this game based on your new comedic dark comedy what's it called can you can you plug bystanders it's called the bystanders okay this game is based on heather's new podcast the bystanders it's called the real bystanders standard bystanders debate in the beginning of lady gang we like talked about is it bystander yep not bystanders it's a standard standard yeah yes the real bystander yeah it's a psychological phenomenon that when more people are around the less likely people are to do something and it's

a full you're right psychological effect that they studied based on um this woman who was brutally murdered in new york in her apartment complex and like 30 people witnessed it well you just think that somebody else is gonna do the thing something like you think somebody else is i love that you have a whiteboard ready for the game he does well this game is my child's white okay the game the real bystanders who knows more about the game i'm never gonna say it right heather was a bystander to becca in glee jack has been a bystander to the podcast version of becca so we're gonna play a game who really knows her best oh becca yeah okay question so what's gonna happen is that we all have something to write on i don't because i'm the the host um we're gonna

ask a question becca's gonna write her answer and heather and jack are gonna write their answer once we're done becca's gonna present her answer and we're gonna see if anyone gets it right uh and you win nothing okay here we go question number one becca's at the after party what is she drinking listen like jack knows everything i know nothing no no i'll be honest no no just just write it down i have mine okay oh no heather's face i don't i don't know just take a guess take a guess i don't know either to be honest with you i know the answer i don't know it's because i'm not a consistent person no i know i have like three different answers in my head for you okay i go through phases all right back to the exact name okay i don't know just say

what what are you drinking at the after party becca anything anything yeah i wrote tequila Oh, I was going to say tequila or whiskey. I wrote ranch water because of your new Austin. You know, you're both right because ranch water is made with tequila and that is what I've been drinking. I was going to say whiskey and neat as well. Yeah, I do on the rocks. I didn't. Oh, I thought it was neat. No, it's on the rocks. I'm a whiskey on the rocks as well. You are? Yes. Oh my God. I didn't drink a choice. I didn't know this either. question number two that wasn't zero points that was one point for both we both got one because i said anything and that falls under the category of anything it does

all right if becca wants to be the point giver i'm not gonna stop her it's her game all right you're gonna go get a coffee from starbucks you text becca do you want anything she says sure what's her order oh god again i go through faces i know what your order is you do you may i don't know that you've had a couple all right just make a guess come on just for the fun of this game i'll give you we're gonna learn things about becca is this way i have a question just put down your answer is i'll just do okay i don't know becca what do you want from starbucks girl if it's hot i'll do an almond milk latte if it's cold i'll do an iced matcha neither i put what did you guess heather americano with oat milk

oh how fancy sophisticated okay not that well that's kind of what i'm doing i had iced oat milk latte but then i was like i don't do oat milk why not oh it's it's high in carbs oh my god i don't know that yeah i've been drinking it my next question here we go okay becca has to choose between two doing two things that she absolutely hates one posting a sexy tiktok dance on instagram or number two posting a self-congratulations post about her new job what horrible thing no to do well she will she actually do if i have to do one of the you have to do one are you going to post a sexual dance on in our tiktok instagram or are you going to post like a uh a screenshot of the deadline article about your new job i'm gonna say i'm gonna say

it's this is tricky because i do post dance videos that's what i was thinking they're not sexy tiktok hold on actually don't talk it through what's your answer i'm gonna say i'll post a congratulatory job thing oh you're here for heather yep that's what i wrote what heather wrote i couldn't picture you like actually being serious through the whole thing just sexy tiktok video never sexy but you do you your dances that you post are sexual so that is there is a big gray area there we're like what makes something sexual and what makes and also what is a self-congratulatory post because i was not thinking posting the deadline article i was thinking becca making this long paragraph about how late she was at her job so i would just like

to say there's a big difference of my dancing versus sexy tiktok okay are we thinking sexy tiktok look up jay chenoweth look up jay chenoweth and watch her dancing and that is not what becca will do because that's very sexy. I just think you're dancing is sexual. I know you're naturally sexy, which equals a sexy Tik TOK dance. I have the same problem. So I really understand when you're this sexy, it's really hard to turn it off. Wait, Kelsey, I was out of you. I was going to ask you if you still have like your, um, your heels, like your dance heels, your ballroom. are you kidding a laduka boot it's a 400 it is my i took uh when i left radio city i took my reindeer boots and they're brown with like the black little hoof toe and then i painted them

with uh paints and i have like a fierce little black laduka boot i've got on halloween or christmas i wear them sometimes when i think i'm gonna be back on broadway as roxy hart in chicago for your husband yeah and then i also have all my ballroom heels from peep show they were so beautiful and they had those ballroom rhinestone and they were so beautiful i would like everybody to this is a sidebar because we're done talking about kelsey's dance i know i'm like dude nobody cares about your heels heather did i love talking about kelsey's dance career everyone needs to go watch season four brittany 2.0 is the name of the episode and heather and i have a dance off and it is comical because she's so good like heather was a beyonce backup dancer that is like top one percent

of like of the of the whole industry so like there's heather and like i had to go dance on a football field in long beach for about eight hours in this hot sun to do this like dance break with her. This was one of my first days on set. Yes. I feel like that was such an icebreaker because it was like, let's put everybody include, including me, like all the dancers as well in the hardest circumstance. It's so hot. It's a hard dance, like a really hard dance, really hard dance. Good luck. Have fun. Go watch it because it was, if you want to see what straight up fear looks like it's in my eyes oh my god yes yes okay last two questions choose one becca is late on time or early

i actually do know this today was not a good don't give away the secrets becca are you late on time or early on time oh yes that's what What did you say, Jack? I had on time. And then I was like, has Becca been early? I wouldn't know because I'm never early. I live on the West side, period.

Traffic is crazy today for five years. Listen, Heather got it right on time. So Heather, two points for Heather. Okay. Now, last question. That was three. That's three. No, the first one's not counting.

Okay. Three to one, three to one, three to one. Okay. Becca is so successful. that she gets to hire one member of full-time staff for her hollywood life what person does she hire full-time staff is it a stylist is it a trainer is it a chef is it a facialist is it an organizer is it an organizer driver is it a chauffeur is it a personal is it a second wife for zach a second wife um shit i like the second wife is it a nanny is it uh we don't know nanny

for myself successful aka your dog i would love a nanny for myself quite frankly that's so nice okay becca who are you hiring this is hard hands down 100 a chef oh yes put that that's what jack put what i almost put that i thought driver because i didn't know if you like to drive or not i was just i was between the two vacillating okay but now that i live in austin i don't have to really drive that much so so you're full-time in austin sure i am you golf cart around i mean i'll be back once a month in la yeah we'll see you soon um becca i have to say heather knows you best oh yep listen i don't agree with this just gonna be stalking instagram that's all don't judge the questions i'm well i am because you made them so rude yeah i feel like jack would

heather all-star bars bystander she's the most bystandery the new podcast the bystanders is coming out may ish heather is wonderful you can follow her at heather elizabeth but two r's there's two R's. There's two R's and there's two H's. Oh, Heather, come on. You gotta get your Instagram. This is the most Heather thing ever. Also, when I talk about you guys, everybody who listens to the podcast that you hear me occasionally talk about someone I know who got a flip phone, like after smartphones came out, it's Heather. It's Heather who I'm talking about. I had a Blackberry. I had a Blackberry. And I also inspired other people to get a Blackberry. You are like a whatever reverse pioneer of technology.

Is it just because you don't want to go on the internet? No, it's because I was out of my mind at the time. Now I have a, well, yeah, now I have like a stupid iPhone 6 because I just am like so lazy to get an iPhone 6. You guys, the video on my phone is just awful. I love this for you. I'm like a Silver Lake girl, but like I don't live in Silver Lake and I live like out in like the summer.

no this could not be more you this is you you are you are an iphone 6 because you just don't give a i love it i want an iphone 10 i just have two children wait is i have sorry i have a question is your iphone so old that you have green texts or are you at least blue texting oh i get blue texting okay it's only green if they don't have one okay just making sure sorry guilty heather We're so excited. Heather Elizabeth on Instagram and check out the new podcast. We'll post it when it comes out. We're so excited.

Thank you for reminiscing with us. This was so fun. Thank you. I love you. And we will see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber, Steve Delameter, and Jared Monaco. Make sure you subscribe, rate, and review our podcast.

And if you love it, share it with your friends on social media. Like, oh my God, I just listened to Lady Gang. This episode's so great. Swipe up to listen. And if you really want to, which we know you do, please follow us on social at Kelty, at Becca, at Jack Vanek, and at the Lady Gang. Sign up for our newsletter at theladygang.com and join our secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday.

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