LadyGang - Hillary Kerr

Episode Date: August 28, 2018

Badass Lady Boss and founder of Who What Wear Hillary Kerr is back in the studio to give advise on how to be your own Lady Boss and the hurdles of being a confident woman in the business world. Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and you can email Jac, Becca and Keltie at Hello [e-mail]! And thank you to today's sponsors: Amazon = Go to amazon.com/shop/ladygang to find their favorite products while keeping the podcast FREE! Hyundai = Car buying made easier is now possible with Shopper Assurance! Visit HyundaiUSA.com today   Blue Apron = Go to BlueApron.com/LadyGang to check out this week’s menu and get your first 3 meals free See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's your Lady Gang, Jack Vanek, Kelty Knight, and Becca Tobin. Thank you so much for subscribing on iTunes, and thanks for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you every single week for free. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here.

Each week we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Lady Gang, I am Becca Tobin here with Kelty Knight and Jack Vanek. Yo. And Elena. And Elena. Yes. Both? Or which one did you want me to say?

I wanted you to say Elena, obviously. Kelly. Kelly the street dog? Are you all following her? She's like 1,100 followers. Her Instagram is growing so much faster. Elena, how many followers do you have? 1,900.

1,900? Get it, girl. How many does Kelly have? 1,100. I don't understand the dog Instagram thing. I do. I love dogs. dogs. I literally only follow dogs

now. Okay. It feels weird. I don't follow a single dog. Why does that feel weird? I don't know. I don't like seeing cute dogs on Instagram. I mean, I like following accounts with like all different dogs. I don't like get attached to one. Oh, I obviously do.

You get obsessed with like the dog personalities. I follow just the animal accounts like baby animals. That's what I like. Baby animals is great. Yeah, yeah. You get a tiny meerkat. You get a baby elephant. Yes. Oh, see, I fall in love with the individual. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You would. It's weird. It's all right. Whatever. I'm just kidding. All right. Now it's time for...

Good week. Yes, it is. Bad week. Oh, no. I go first. Great. Because I never go first. Good week.

This is old, and it's been, like, in my arsenal for a minute. Are you going to answer roles? Because it's been so long. Oh, my God. It's been a long week. Hmm. Interesting. Shall we let her proceed?

I don't know. Next time you yell at me for not following the rules for some random thing, I'm going to bring this up. It's still a good week. It's just not. Not this week. Not this week. It's supposed to happen in the last seven days. She's so bad.

Gotcha. You know what? I'm not going to use it. No, just do it. Use it. You know what? You guys are so mean to me. Okay.

I'm going to use it. So I was in London for the royal wedding. This was like a really long time ago. But we all know where I went because it was fabulous. And I was staying at this hotel. I was staying at this hotel. And we are now famous enough that I'm getting recognized all the time. So this woman comes up to me outside the hotel.

And she was like, oh, my God, are you Kelty from the Lady Gang? And I was like, yeah. She's like, I love Becca. No, she was like, I love the Lady Gang, whatever. Then, fast forward, I was in Comic-Con, which was like in July, August. Recent. I can't remember when it was. More recent than the one this week.

Then I'm on the street getting into my cab, and I hear someone running down the street. Not really running. She was standing right there. And she was like, are you Kelty Knight? Is this just like a story of the different people that have noticed you? Yes, and I'm just saying. I used to have to call the paparazzi. You still do.

That's not the paparazzi. Wear a shirt that says, I am Kelty Knight. And now people like, real fame is happening. Oh, my God. You saved that to talk about? Yes. Oh, my God. okay bad week right this moment no this is my bad week when this show comes out

this is gonna be we can't okay here's the rule this is a wait no but once the show airs our own we cannot talk about fame we cannot talk about people coming up to us yeah we can't talk about we should not be talking about any of that shit anyways well she can talk about her business class flights because we're still in coach technically our contract with e is like to fly as coach you know that's true you know it's true it's true okay my bad week i am trying to be so healthy you know for the last little bit of the year i'm just kidding i said that just it's august um i'm trying to be really healthy so i've been like my new year's resolution i've been enjoying a lot of hand fruits like the hell's a hand fruit i hate that term so much i don't know

what it is like an apple a hand fruit it no a hand fruit is any fruit you can like have in your hand like any anything no a kiwi watermelon is not a hand fruit you can hold it in your hand you can but you have to cut it open i'm talking no utensils needed becomes a hand so is an orange a hand fruit or no fruit uh pear hand fruit apple hand fruit banana hand fruit kiwi not a hand fruit cancel out not a hand fruit thank you you can eat a kiwi hole that's gross because it looks like a hairy ball okay it really does anyway people must like getting into like bringing some hand fruits with me or fruits in general sorry becca tovin um i hope the story has to do with the fact that it's a hand fruit no yeah it does so what the bad the good thing about hand fruits is they come in

their own packaging you know what i mean no they don't always yeah a banana okay well the hand things don't the hand fruit that's a part of this story is a banana which comes in its own packaging no it doesn't you buy a banana oh you mean that the packaging of the banana i thought you meant like it has its own skin you don't have to put it individually packaged like you're buying it From Whole Foods, like a single banana in a plastic package. No, a banana, you don't have to like... That's not relatable, Kelty. A banana is easy to forget that you have it in your pocket, which is my bad peek.

In your pocket? I had a banana in my pocket. What the fuck? It's not hard to forget a banana in your pocket. It's huge. Yes, it is. This banana is a big coat. And I had the banana in my pocket.

And then you guys know I'm like running around for work. And there's not always a chair for me. I'm not that famous. You know what I mean? So I sit on the floor. a lot, but lately I've been like, well, this floor is gross, so I'm going to put my jacket down and I'll sit on the floor

on my jacket. I sat on my banana, and I'm talking like multiple ups and downs and ups and downs and runs and butt squats, butt squats, you know? The banana became a mashed banana in my new jacket, and when I found it, it was pretty much all the guts

were out of the skin. That's so gross. And I took it to the dry cleaner to get the banana out, but I don't think the... I said, there's a you just spit you use the thing there's a banana in this pocket i'm not excited to see you i scooped most of it out but can you pay special attention to this pocket because there was a banana in it and then i got it back from the dry cleaner and essentially there's just like still a whole ring of banana and banana has like a rank smell when it's like not being rotten yeah that's rotten is

anyway that's it goodnight thank you and goodnight that's all I got my good week is I met a girl at a bar who came up to me because of the lady gang if we're gonna start talking about that are you serious you just gave me shit for that being mine

well I'm sorry this was already planned in my head for my good week anyways her name is Hannah and she's awesome and we're like starting to talk she's like I love the lady gang blah blah blah blah and I'm actually interviewing her dad for our true crime podcast uh tomorrow because he was in a cult and it's awesome but anyways she was like yeah i've gotten like all of my girlfriends to start listening to your podcast including larry david

and i was like excuse me like wait what so apparently david has heard our podcast larry david i just had diarrhea you literally just like i just had a wet fart so she apparently is really good friends with kazzy david like she grew up with her and was talking about our podcast like when she was at larry's house or something and played part of it so larry david officially knows who we are but what did he say i don't know she didn't tell me so it's really bad he was probably like i can't listen to these bimbos for one more second did she play a regular part i don't know an emotional part or a part where you guys were talking about larry david i don't know i need to clarify because i'm gonna see her tomorrow but on the show he knows who we are on the show we need

to go we need to go to his house yeah we do should we sell him tim tams do you think larry david has one of those like aggressive gates that you can't get in or do you think we could walk right up and knock on i think we could walk i bet we could walk right up did you know he's worth almost a billion dollars yeah seinfeld yeah i know no i'm sure he doesn't you know who's like the richest person in hollywood is julia louis dreyfus and she does not have a house with a gate and when i saw that i was just mind explosion i love her okay good story anyways that was it is a great story how did you wait this long to tell us and all this happened a while ago i just kept forgetting to talk about it but it is like the best week ever

and he needs to come on our show so your your week didn't happen this week it did happen oh shit caught caught mother oh um okay so my bad week i was at whole foods the other day getting a coffee because i like ran out of k-cups and this guy in front of me ordered a green juice like from the smoothie juice bar he gets his this is riveting that he gets his juice and i have never seen somebody look like they're making love to a drink more than i have with this guy he was like licking up the straw because some of the juice kind of like trickled down the side and he was like putting the straw in his mouth like he was sucking on a dick and it was the grossest thing that i've ever seen in my entire life and i wanted to die do you think he

knows that he does that do you ever wonder when you see people like that i know when i'm eating like a savage i just don't care but that wasn't a savage it was like the sensual it was a sexual thing it was very odd i felt very uncomfortable and violated did you go out with him no he was kind of hot too but not after that that was the nastiest thing i've ever seen in my life so yeah All right. Okay. Here's my good week. I was hiking around my neighborhood, as I do, and it's very hot in L.A., as we know.

Hot. And I'm very irresponsible, and sometimes I don't bring water with me, even though it's really hot. I know. I'm not really a huge, like, water drinker in general. You know that thing we're 90% of? Yeah. You've got to get a hydro flask.

That's how I drink all my water. It's just so annoying to carry. I know. So I'm hiking, and— She doesn't have your height, Jack. It's harder for her. It is. It's way heavy.

I know. I'm so strong. on the ground your arms are just like yes so i'm hiking and i'm listening to my podcast not our podcast but i listened to like a few like i think i was listening to dax shepherd armchair expert shout out love it come on the podcast come on the podcast um and i'm listening and i'm thinking i'm so thirsty and i'm halfway only halfway through my hike so i i know that there's a long haul ahead and like a mirage in the abyss the mountain valley water delivery truck comes i love that water dry it's so good comes driving towards me the driver reaches out and hands me a cold

bottle of mountain valley water damn and i was like oh my god this is the nicest thing ever like how nice that he how fast was he going? slow like we live in like the hills so it's kind of

like I had a moment or was it just like thanks girl and then it was like you were on a Pepsi commercial did he just give it to you because you didn't have water? he just

I think he just keeps cold waters in his his like front seat the cabin of his truck and he must give them out to people hiking that's nice

and it's like the cutest thing ever and I just I just think it's the nicest thing that's happened to me in a long time I mean the bar is low but that was so nice

yeah that's a very low bar so anyways that is a nice I thought that it was, like, the nicest surprise. Here's my bad week. I am very anti-killing insects, so if I find something in my house, I try really hard to just get it outside because it makes me sad. Yeah. We have an ant infestation because apparently in L.A., when it gets hot out, they come inside to the cold.

Try to find water. And try to find water and, like, whatever. So when I tell you that we were out of town for a couple days and when we got home, there was a trail of ants from the front door up the stairs into the kitchen. Like a full-blown ant parade through the house. Thousands, maybe millions. So I'm like, what am I – what do you do in that situation? I don't know how you can get ants out of your house without killing them. So here's the thing.

We had to order this thing on Amazon and they're little ant death pools. and you put them all around the house they work like a goddamn charm but now there's just ant dead ants in little corners all over my house and it's just like what are you supposed to do but we should live amongst them no i did say a little prayer for every little pool you should have gave them a proper burial ratio of ants so don't ants only live like a day or no is that a fly i don't know oh no i'm not an insectologist i feel like you're gonna give an insect fact right for every one ant you see there's 1 000 in your house well that actually is true because i thought there was this one area in my house where there were only a couple yeah no but then i put out

the death pool and so many came out thousands oh yeah it's no joke oh but i just feel so bad R.I.P. aunties. Okay, what's coming up? What's up, killer? What's next, killer? Killer? Oh. My karma's going to be messed up.

Yeah. Okay. Whatever. Who's coming? Oh. Are you stopped? No. Hilary Kerr is here.

Now back to the Lady Gang. Our guest today is returning to the podcast because y'all, sorry, loved her. She's a pioneer of the tech media business model, a graduate of USC and NYU. She's bi-coastal, and she's written for big-name magazines like El Nylon and Teen Vogue. And she had a vision and bigger balls than most of us and dropped it all, making her own platform. Since co-creating Click Media Group, she and her partner have expanded the brand to include fashion, home decor, and beauty. Perhaps you've heard of their little babies. Who, what, where?

Birdie. Domain. Are you all right? Are you having a moment? No, I'm reading it. I'm wanting to like really. Emphasis. Yeah, emphasis.

Or maybe you've been to one of the. Well, you know what, you guys? You tried to read the intro. I don't want to mess it up. She's here and she's important to me. You did mess it up, though. I hate you. Maybe you've been to the one of 800 Target stores that carry the Who, What, Wear clothing line.

And Becca, I know that you buy those shoes, girl. I buy all of it. We talked about it, but don't talk about it. It is the intro. It is the intro still. I'll tell you in a second. You can also find her on Bookshelf. She's published two books.

Who, What, Where, Celebrity and Runway Style for Real Life, and What to Wear, Where. She's also jumped lately into the podcasting pool with her new show, Second Life, a series spotlighting women who have made major career changes. Please welcome back to the lady gang, mama now, and not secret liar about being pregnant, Hillary Kerr. How dare you lie to us, by the way. You're the second person who lied to us about it. To be fair, I don't think there was no lying. There was just lying by omission.

Yeah, yeah. I suppose. No one offered me rosé. No one's offered me rosé. That was actually, well, that's some bullshit. That's really, we're sorry. This is so unlike us. You know what?

This is very unlike us. Totally fine. But you did offer me a really amazing version of LaCroix that I have not had before. You would appreciate this because they're one of our sponsors, and so you'll appreciate that we're just like ladybosses, and we're like, no rosé that we had to buy. Here's some LaCroix. This is great. I mean, that is a wonderful sponsorship.

I'm sorry for being in the commercial. I'm sorry. I'm looking at her so beautiful. I know. Go turn your mic. Okay. Well, anyway, I have this. Welcome back.

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. I can't believe that, I mean, so much has changed in last year. You guys continue to grow and flourish. Yeah. I have an even deeper appreciation of what you have built now that I understand the pod world a little bit more. Yeah.

Whoa. It's a monster of a world. It's a monster. And have you noticed, well, we're going to. So many bad pods. everyone thinks they're like I have a microphone and a thought and that's all I need and the answer

is no that's not true I've listened to a couple of the second life's and I feel like you have a lot of Kelty Knight in you your format is so good reporters your format's so good the questions you ask are so good like I'm thinking about

the question right before you ask it like it's so it's just so good Well, thank you. You're doing a really good job. I love it. I mean, like, I love doing all of the research on people. I love trying to, like, you know, sort of draw the through line of their life about how all these things in their lives have happened.

And most importantly, I really deeply enjoy sharing stories that say, like, hey, just because you start out doing one thing doesn't mean you have to do it your whole life. I look at, like, my mom and dad, who are awesome, but my dad has been a pilot his whole life. My mother taught first grade her whole life. They legit have never done anything else and they're very happy and that is awesome. But that's also not real and that's not what most of us do. But this idea of, you know, you can – the skills that you're learning along the way are all things that you can take into a million different career paths. And that to me is exciting and empowering and, you know, sort of optimistic. I love that.

Speaking of skills, you clearly have podcast booking skills because you've had, like, no names like Jessica Alba and Mandy Moore and Lauren Codrad, who, P.S., we've all asked all three of them to come on Lady Gang. It's been a no. To be honest, it probably didn't get as far as actually asking them. I think the publicist instantly saw because we're not friends in real life. And they were like, what is this bullshit? No. So, I mean, are you friends with these? How did you get these crazy A-listers to come on the pod?

Did you send them free shoes from Who, What, Wear collection? Jolte really needs some advice. I'm sure we have. In some cases, they are people that I know personally and have for years. In some cases, it's, you know, really making a heartfelt pitch and explaining sort of the positioning and the why. Sometimes we just get lucky. We just did one most recently with Linda Wells, who was the founding editor-in-chief of Allure magazine and was the editor-in-chief for 25 years before she was rather unceremoniously fired. And now she is the chief creative officer of Revlon and creator of Flesh Beauty.

I never in a million years thought I would – like to me as an editor, she's this huge get. And it came up really last minute about something else. She was going to be in town and I pitched that off the cuff. And it's amazing. People oftentimes will say, yes, we also. They will, huh, Hilary? Yeah. Oftentimes.

But you have to keep trying. And I think that's the part of it, too. I appreciate the fact that your pod and pods like yours have helped pave the way where now people aren't so afraid to do them. I think that a lot of times, especially with publicists, it's an unknown medium to them. It's true. They get nervous about it. They don't understand it. A lot of people don't necessarily feel comfortable coming on a pod because they don't know what kind of questions they're going to be asked.

they it's one thing when they can send in their answers via email to something and they can think them through and edit yeah this you have to think on your feet not everyone is great in that medium um but you know yeah i know a lot of them that also helps i mean like so moral the story is but it's also you know a lot of times these are people who um you know we've cultivated over you know 12 years of covering them and working with their stylists and shooting them and you know so So these are long-term relationships that are sort of like a work-life hybrid. And in some cases, they're people who I don't know and have never met. You also have such like name recognition with what you created that you come with a lot of clout.

So they're like, of course, I'm going to come talk to Hilary Kerr about my career. I've been really lucky. Because she's done this. It's been – but first and foremost, I've been really lucky. I mean I still – it's like it's a pinch-me moment anytime someone says yes. So I feel you though. Booking is hard and trying to get the right mix of people. And also there are all these women who have these amazing stories, but they aren't actually second life stories necessarily.

Yeah, because you're such a focused concept. Yeah. I mean, there's a bit to it. So that's also difficult for me sometimes too, but I also like the constraint of it because I feel it's like the project runway of it all. The idea of when you have parameters that you often – it can lead to more creativity than when you have everything in the world. Well, and as a listener, people totally latch on to that and like with the structure of a podcast because there's so many podcasts out there that are just like free for all talking about bullshit. So I feel like even if it's a subconscious thing as a listener, people appreciate that. I think you kind of like knowing what you're going to get.

Not everyone does. I'm sure there are people who are like, take me on a wild ride. I don't care what this goes. I don't like that at all. Most people don't. I feel like people that even think that they do don't. As a Virgo, I appreciate structure. Me too.

She loves structure. I love it. I'm structured right now. Of those three ladies that I mentioned, Jessica and Lauren and Mandy Moore, what is one thing you learned having them on the podcast from each one of those ladies about life? So much stuff. I mean, I just – you know, the fact that – so Lauren doesn't do a ton of press. Of press ever. Zero.

She's like so normal. Which was – you know, and like has her own real life and all of that stuff. So, you know, talking to her was really amazing because, you know, it's just seeing how she really had to, like, think about the past to go back to sort of that first life. It is something that's so behind her. And it was interesting because it took her a minute sometimes to, like, remember what was going on at that point in time. But – and I actually really like that, this idea that you can be so known for something and then have nothing to do with your day-to-day anymore. And, like, that she just plowed ahead and she is so excited about opening their first little market store in Palisades. Like, genuinely excited.

And I feel like whenever I'm around anyone who has some of that, like, genuine enthusiasm, it just – it's so optimistic and it's so nice because we can all be so jaded and we're like, oh, whatever. It's so true. I mean, there are Emmys in the lobby of this building and I'm like, what? Put it on Instagram. Did you notice the Emmy in Kelty's office? she won an Emmy this year she is an Emmy award winner now still those women said no to the podcast

so I gotta change my mind something's wrong we will work on it let's workshop it today I am starting with just a picture of me and my Emmy holding your Emmy here I am Emmy award winner I want to talk about your vagina

that's for your eye contact don't be scared publicists we only talk about diarrhea and vaginas you'll be fine and then with Jessica I think one of the things that was really interesting is I didn't realize that she really saw herself as a weird kid and still sort of as an outsider.

She's so hot, even in her teens. But just no concept of that. And I also love talking to her about the fact that as an actress, you're used to so much rejection over and over and over again and how that's weirdly the most amazing training for being an entrepreneur because just thinking like I remember not long after she started Honest Company, We were talking about how she knocked on doors for a year and Jessica Alba couldn't get anyone's money. Like no one wanted to give her money.

They didn't understand. They also were like diapers, what? That's not the association, like whatever. And then with Mandy, I thought it was so interesting that she still has this pull for music, something that obviously I thought might be kind of in the past at this point. And it's been interesting since we did our pod. She's gone back in the studio. She's going back in the studio. And I don't think it had anything to do with the pod.

But I do think that sometimes when you acknowledge to yourself what you want or what you're feeling and just put it out there in the universe, it starts things in motion. I realize I think I just made a commercial for The Secret, but like a diamond necklace and you will see it tomorrow. But I do think there was really something about putting it out there in the universe. So for you saying these are women who I want on this pod to put it out there in the universe, I think that's really important. And you never know what's going to happen. Oprah. I see you, girl. We all need that.

We all need Oprah. We do. So listen, you have always been a crazy creative, a super businesswoman. There's this thing. I don't remember where we were, like if it was when we were in New York or whatever. and someone was talking about how when a man is powerful and knows what they want, they're like

their boss and they're so on top of it and like women are like, you're a bitch and we've been working on our television show and like we're executive producers on the show and there's certain things that we put our foot down about and we're like, we gotta have this and you look around the room

and everyone's like, uncomfortable with your assertiveness so I just thought like I mean, I don't think we really got into this the last time you were here, but just advice for getting what you want and owning it and being that person and, like, should we care that people are like, oh, she's so aggressive and what a bitch. No, don't care. Don't care.

Because you can't control how someone else perceives you. All you can do is ask for what you need to remain professional. I think that's, like, above and, like, that's the most important thing. But ultimately, know your worth, know your value. And the thing that I always think about when it comes to negotiations is think about like you're negotiating on behalf of your best friend and what you would be comfortable with for her. And if you like, would you feel weird standing up for her?

No, not at all. I mean, I had a private investigator for my best friend when her husband was cheating on her. Like, I'm like, so be your own advocate in that way. Like, why don't you deserve that? Right. I love that. You do.

And so it's like I talk about this all the time, this LeBron James article about self-talk in Psychology Today a few years ago about why he speaks about himself in the third person. It gives him some distance to be able to assess things. But I really think that if you can think about your negotiation as on behalf of someone else, it often makes it easier for yourself. I've never heard that before, and that is profound because that's so true. I mean, you look at your friends and you see the most amazing qualities in them and you're always the worst critic of yourself. Well, I always think it goes back to guys, right? So I remember sitting there with a girlfriend when my husband and I were dating and he had done something lame and we were talking about something in her love life. And I was like, well, you should never stand for that.

I'm like, why would you go? Like, he is an idiot. She's like, well, what's the deal with you? It's like, well, he didn't mean it like that. and I'm sure that was it was different she's like no it's not and I realized that it's sort of the same thing it's like this idea of like you should be the advocate for yourself that you are for your friends yeah I love that since you were last on the pod we've had expanded our community and we have a lot of girls talking about I'm interviewing for my dream job wish me luck wish

me luck and so I thought since you've hired so many people at so many different companies so many What are some piece of advice you give ladies where they're going into interviews and what are the mistakes that women make in interviews that you wish you could just slap them upside the head and be like, don't do that? It's astonishing how many people are unprepared. Really? Which you would think is kind of a no-brainer. That's like interviewing 101. Know the company. Know what they do.

Know what position you're interviewing for. Exactly. There have been people over the years at a variety of levels where they don't – they're not actually like fans of the company and they come in and they're not educated about the company and it's so clear. The other thing I would say – so first and foremost, do your homework. Not a big deal. Familiarize yourself. You should know that you want to work somewhere before you work there. So assuming that's not the issue, it's OK to be excited about a company.

i don't this is not a date i don't want you to play it cool i want you to be excited about this company and tell me all of the ways that you are excited about it this is a time for enthusiasm this is a time for energy you can also be real you can say like i think that you know this is a white space or that you're doing really well at this but not this you can be real about it and not just act like this company is like the best thing that's ever happened oh interesting completely But I also think that, I mean, in a polite way, I don't think that's the most effective way of communicating in a job interview. But I do think that sometimes people play it cool when they shouldn't. It's like that doesn't playing hard to get is not this is not the time for it in a job interview.

The other thing I would say is practice. A lot of times people – you can tell, especially if someone's been in a job for a while, it's kind of like dating where they're just a little rusty and they don't necessarily like have their story or their stories ready to go. I really would recommend sitting down. I think there's something about actually saying something out loud. You can think you're rehearsed. You can think you know what your answers are. You can think that you're totally prepared. But if you haven't sat there and said out loud what your answer is, that can be problematic.

I just think go in feeling as confident as you possibly can. The other thing I would say is, you know, make sure that your clothes are steamed or ironed. Not every boss is me. Not every boss will care or notice. But I feel like it's that thing where it's like if you are showing them your most professional put-together self, that is the self that probably shouldn't look like you're wearing something that you tried on four weeks ago and then threw on the bottom of your closet and then just picked up today. Yep. That happens too. So –

I love that. Also, Downy Wrinkle Release. It's amazing. It's the best. It's every travel one. Oh, my God. It's the best. Oh, my gosh.

It's so good. It's everywhere. Keep one in your car. It's like five bucks on Amazon. Totally. It's like there's a travel version in every drugstore across America. Buy one, put one in your bag or in your car, spritz yourself, you're fine. It's all true.

That whole thing. Can I just say one thing about saying it out loud? I started doing this because we've been speaking on like panels and we've been doing like these random interviews. And for me, especially like I'm just used to being sort of an actress puppet and you like say your lines you're supposed to say. And then if you're doing an interview, you're promoting that thing. So it's like I realized that I had no practice in talking about myself. Or the journey or whatever. Out of character.

Out of character. In you. Just ask me. Which is so sort of a character. But I started, before we went to New York, we had these lists of questions and I was like, it's all the ideas are there in your head. Yeah. But I started to do it in the shower and I started like forming the thoughts and really

like making a full, you know, like. A little soundbite. A little soundbite. And it makes a huge difference. And I'm not even somebody that gets nervous in those situations. So I can only imagine like just that feeling of preparedness, like just saying it out loud to yourself in the shower. It was the weirdest thing that I just have never. Because I do think there's something like if you don't get the job because you're not qualified or because you're not what they were looking for or whatever.

You can't do anything about it. That's that. Yeah. But if you don't get the job because you blew the interview. Well, the thing with job interviews is all the questions are pretty much the same. Like regardless of where you're what position you're interviewing for or where. So it's, like, you can really craft these answers that will work for, like, a million different situations. And it's, like, if you're going in for a job at a fashion company, they're not going to ask you about, like, you know, the square root of pi.

Like, you know there are not going to be certain questions on the quiz. So it's not like you have to prepare everything. Exactly. I love that. Last thing before we go to Ask the Lady Gang. I wanted to know what your biggest regret is. Oh, you mean in life or in work? Like, in work, business, like, thing that—

I'd like to hear life. Um, you know, I actually, it's kind of a twofer. So I think that in work as in life, I'm really loyal. And I think that the good side of that is loyalty. And the bad side of that is that I have held on to toxic people and toxic employees longer than necessary because I wanted to make it work. So I had a friend who was a friend growing up. We were very close for a very long time. Things happen. We just were clearly not working as friends anymore, but I couldn't let it go. I needed to fix it for so long. And I just, I kept trying and it was just not working and I was miserable. And then finally one day I was like, why am I torturing myself? I just ended

the friendship. It was really hard for me, but ultimately cathartic. And I just kept thinking to myself, like, why didn't I do this years ago? And I think the same is true when you're building a team or you have a team. There are lots of people who are really amazing. It doesn't mean that they stay amazing. And also when you realize that you've hired someone and they're not the right fit, the sooner that you make that change, the better. And it's hard firing people. Letting people go is incredibly difficult. I feel so responsible for their livelihood, for their careers, for their happiness. I, I want to figure out, Oh, it feels like a failure on my part. Like you're a bad picker. Yeah. Not only that, but like that, I couldn't get them to where I

needed them to go. And then you're changing their lives in a shitty way at that moment. Exactly. But oftentimes it's one of the best things that ever happens to them or they too are miserable. They too are not getting what they need out of me or out of our company or out of their job. So I think that that's probably – it's something I still struggle with. It's not something that I'm great at. I feel like that never gets easier. I mean, I think working on it is possible, but – and really understanding – I think

just identifying the problem earlier and being clear about it and handling it sooner, letting it drag on for years is a mistake. And I've done that in my personal life. I've done that with work, and that's something that now, having very clearly seen examples in both, I will not let that happen again. Well, I'm going to try to avoid that. Do you ladies feel like your life has been fixed? Always. Every time she's here.

You're like the wisest person that ever comes on the show. 100%. Ever. We get so many comments the first time you came in. They're like, she's just so amazing. I'm like, yeah, because we're usually talking about farting. Yeah, that's true. Amir, ladies, Amir.

When we come back, Hillary's going to help you fix your life. ask the lady gang and we're back and kelty hopefully can talk in her microphone good luck you know this part yeah we're answering our listeners most burning questions and because you're like the wisest person that has ever come on this podcast and they told me she great and we'll probably give the worst advice no this is really exciting no one's ever called me wise before so never how no because i'm like the idiot friend in my group of friends generally speaking who are your friends seriously they're not us obviously she's like you'd be like the queen like we would be like you'd be the lady yeah i would just be like little minions no i'm like

i generally i've made so many mistakes the hard way so i am often i am often that one in my group of friends i'm just saying okay our first question comes from anonymous anonymous says i've been in a relationship for three years and i'm 22 years old it's been dull and boring for a while but we live together so i haven't thought too much about the possibility of breaking up however i recently started spending a lot more time with my guy best friend and you guessed it i feel myself falling for him hard he's always pushing me to go to go be spontaneous and we're extremely similar mind you we're all in the same friend group and i was even close friends with his ex for a short period of time what the hell do i do these are the problems of 22 year olds are so wonderful

um man those are our problems no no i don't i that i feel like that stuff is so was so hard um hard just because it like consumes your whole life in a totally different way okay so first and foremost you need to move out yeah i think that is the most important thing whether it's with a roommate or on your own i think that you need to take that time for yourself you've been in a relationship for three years it's never a great idea to leapfrog right into something else you haven't processed the relationship that you're currently in and what you're going to do is you're going to drag all of that baggage into your next relationship and that's not fair for your friend think about it from your friend's perspective i understand that you feel like

there's something there and there might very well be there but if it's real it'll still be there in six months to a year when you've processed things and like been respectful to your current relationship and ended things cleanly you know when you're 22 you have no patience none do you know this will all be ignored yeah she's already sleeping with the best friend you get she's like why did i even write this question remember in like uh like 10th or 11th grade we were like it's our four week anniversary because it's like insane that you dated someone for four weeks it's insane that they've been dating for three years but here's the thing it's like i feel like her reasoning for not wanting to break up with him is because they're living together and that's never good

also we've had a couple questions like this recently where it's like oh but what about this that i can't get out of my mind it's like the grass is always greener you have to like understand that and if you ended up with him there also there's a whole new set of problems yeah it's like you never know so like what you said it's like don't jump into something you need to have some kind of a boundary with regardless of what your situation is i used to bookend which is like go from relationship to relationship to relationship and would often start one when i was leaving the other because i wanted all of my ducks in a row it was because i wasn't comfortable being alone and what i realized at a certain point was like being i was in a relationship with the next person

still thinking about the previous person i wasn't fully processed and i sat there and thought oh my god how pissed would i be if my partner was doing that to me i would be furious so why am i doing this to him i think that it's really important to take some time to like honor whatever that relationship was maybe you don't need to honor it for very long yeah maybe three months is enough who knows maybe you've already processed the the relationship and you're done with it but like take a beat be single for a second figure out who you are before you jump into something new because there's nothing worse than when you keep like it's like you're accumulating luggage and you're just dragging it into the next relationship and you never get through any of that stuff and then you

meet someone you really do like and then you have to unpack all this crap right that you've been dragging that's like from four relationships ago plus i i'm just like i'm getting anxiety thinking about all these bags i feel like i'm at the airport and it's following me it's gonna cost three hundred dollars to check all these no no spilling everywhere similar but you have way better style that's all what's next okay second question i totally get you and i'm like i wish i was like you yeah uh second question comes from confused one she says i desperately need advice my husband and i have been together for 13 years when we first got together and up until maybe two years ago neither of us wanted babies our plan has always been not to have any but now i have

mega crazy all-consuming baby fever and my husband is still a firm no what do i do i'm the one that changed the mind and i know that that's tough that is tough i have a friend who's in this exact same position oh and her husband very simply like we had dinner the other night and he said i've decided like i'm gonna do this for her it's either divorce i either lose her or i have a baby And like I you may never get your husband to to arrive there. But I will say that my friend in while they were in limbo, the woman was like, this is something that is only going to be more heartbreaking as time goes on. And if this is something that you are really you, it's all consuming and you you feel like you need this. You have to find a way to do this.

I think that that's my mom's best friend did not have children. And she to this day, like her biggest regret. was not doing that i think that if you truly feel like you are meant to be a mother and that you feel that so strongly that you do it on your own that's your answer yeah yep i i really and i have and you can do it on your own i have lots of friends who have done it on their own where the time was right but there there wasn't the partner wasn't there and they said i'm doing this on my own um would i have done that no but i wasn't so certain that i wanted kids so i mean it's different for everyone. I would say, you know, being really honest with your partner is

the most important thing. Really give them some time to get to whatever that decision is. You have spent, oftentimes by the time you bring something to your partner, you've been thinking about it for a very long time and you present it to them like this fully baked cake of an idea. Practice in the shower. But it's brand new for them. It's brand new for them and they feel like this is out of the blue. And meanwhile, you've been thinking about for six months or a year or maybe even longer and so you have to give them some time and you have to be patient but i do think that like ultimately if that is your calling if that is something that you know that you need to do that you should do that yeah and

callie's behavior during this podcast is the exact reason i will never be having children i'm just letting everyone know that right now jack what's next all right last question comes from diana Diana says, my boyfriend is invited to a wedding, and he isn't allowed to bring a plus one, a.k.a. bring me. He is very close to the bride and groom and has known both of them since high school. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half, have met with both the bride and groom, plus their families, and have always seen them at social gatherings. When he confronted the bride, she says that while she respects my boyfriend's relationship with me, she can only have a certain number of people due to her contract with the chair rental company. Weddings, man. Oh, my God.

This is your wedding thing. We can only rent 200 chairs. That's a really, really good excuse or like person to put the blame on if you don't want somebody to come. It's actually a terrible excuse. In order to stick with her number of guests, she's only letting people bring a plus one if they're living together or engaged. Is it okay to be offended?

A thousand percent you can be offended and a thousand percent so what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't change it. I mean, ultimately, I went through this, you know, I got married a year and a half ago And I am still getting comments from people who are pissed about not being invited to my wedding. I went to a wedding two weekends ago and there – I think there were probably five to ten comments from attendees who made little digs about the fact that I had not invited them to my wedding. I mean it's – people who – People want to go to weddings that bad?

It's insane. But I mean – When you're famous like Hillary, they do. No. Because I knew Jessica Alba was going to be there. You know what I mean? No, it was a tiny wedding and we paid for it ourselves and there were financial constraints around it. And I think that you just ultimately have to respect the fact that it's not your event and you can be sad, which is I think what she really is, is that she wants to be included and she's not. She's not actually angry. She feels less than. She feels excluded. And those are hard feelings to confront. But ultimately, I think if she just realized that it's about probably finances, maybe that is a little bit of a Band-Aid.

Yeah. I've had friends get married and that was sort of their rule was that if they were not engaged or married, like they just couldn't afford to have everybody's girlfriends or boyfriends. Because also if you open up the door to everybody getting a plus one, you could add 100 people to your list. Well, yeah. You're doubling your cost. That's insane. Really think about it. So we had 100 people.

That meant 50 each. which really meant 25 guests and that's nothing because of husbands and wives and all of that like it's it just and i i don't think people really think through like the hard costs and the economics and all of that and you know also have hope i have been a last minute addition more than once to like i got off the b-list more than once i cannot tell you how many times it's happened i love i'm the best b-list guest ever because i'm like i'll fill in yeah i'm gonna put me in coach yeah exactly i'm like no one will cheer a lot more loudly your vows than me i mean i'm so stoked to be here oh but you just you never know sometimes things change people fall out it is

what it is yeah don't take it personally it's usually about money yeah and i was a total dick about my wedding guest list too and there's something you can do about it it's your event zero percent so i don't care but at the same time let's acknowledge it sucks to feel left out yeah i understand i'm feeling alienated more than anything yeah yeah um thank you for being here thank you for being so cute thank you for being so inspirational during the rest of the week that you can't listen to the two lady gang episodes you can listen to second life go subscribe rate and review get her in those top podcast lists please i need some of you there already no yeah no our girls will listen they definitely will and we're so excited for you and congrats on

becoming a mom and it's okay that you lied to us that you are and follow hillary on instagram at hillary kerr very easy okay i'm matt kelty at becca at jack bannock we are the lady gang and we will see you next tuesday Join the Lady Gang every Tuesday at iTunes and at PodcastOne.com. That's PodcastONE.com. Thanks for listening.