LadyGang - Jac and Jeri, Sittin' in a Tree!

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

None other than Jeri himself, aka Jared Monaco is here alongside Jac to tell you his GWBW, talking about being in The Maine, his long friendship with Jac that turned into a beautiful romance, and they’re answering relationship Q’s! Thank you to our sponsors for keeping us going during this time! Bud Light Seltzer – Pick up a variety pack and try Bud Light Lemonade today!   Best Fiends – Download Best Fiends for free in the Apple app store or on Google Play.   LegalZoom – Go to legalzoom.com and enter co de LADYGANG for special savings.   Listen To Your Heart – The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart, Monday at 8/7 central on ABC.  Stamps.com – Go to stamps.com, click on the microphone, and enter code LADYGANG to start your 4 week trial.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Gang,

Jack and Jerry Quarantine Edition. Did you like that intro? It was fine. It was fine? How could it have been better? I feel like you need more energy. My energy is at like 20%. Jared, do you want to set the scene of how we're recording this? Because we are sharing one mic.

It might sound a little bit weird. Jack's sitting on my lap right now. Basically. I forgot to bring my mic out here, so we only have her mic right now. We're very close. We're winging it. We're basically touching faces. I kind of like it.

I made Jared a Bloody Mary to kind of take the edge off because he thinks that I'm going to grill him right now, but I'm not. it's gonna be a nice like wonderful loving chat yeah we'll see yeah how have you um been enjoying quarantine with me jared it's been fine i never thought i'd be the head chef of a household yeah we are quarantining with my parents right now so it's me my parents and jared all the people that i love the most oh my god but jared is has been the head chef because i can't cook no my parents are not the best at cooking we we knew who it was going to be yeah i knew that but don't you thrive in that position i'm learning a lot i'm learning a lot i'm ready to open a restaurant you're doing great okay so um i think that we'll just go right into it it's time for

good week yes it is bad week oh no okay good week bad week jared i told you to prepare do you have anything i forgot to prepare but i'm gonna wing it i'm gonna do mine first anyways so mine is gonna be a good week good week i'm going off script because there's so much bad shit happening in the world right now that i have two good weeks to share first good week is i found my yearbooks and my parents keep literally everything of mine from when i grew up i have all my notes i have every letter that i've written every like school assignment that i have done and i found my yearbooks from my junior and senior year of high school and they're really cringy too they're not that cringy so i was on yearbook my junior and senior year i

quit cheerleading i was like all this shit i'm gonna now control basically the history of our school so i jumped onto the yearbook staff i basically ran the yearbook i titled them after favorite my favorite emo songs and the pages that i was um in charge of i really i really just took over you could see the evolution of it too because you did multiple years right yeah so like towards the towards like the back end of it you're starting to really throw a lot of mean shit at people like the golf page was so so you it was like the most you thing i've ever seen what was that you were like yay golf look at these losers no i was basically trolling the golfers because golf is such a boring sport that i had to make some fun out of it so i was just poking fun at all the

people also i realized that somebody at my school was named mike hawk mike hawk mike hawk which is pretty much the go-to if you're gonna prank somebody and that was just he went by mike hawk this is real name he didn't even go by michael hawk or mikey hawk so genius yeah it was amazing so i did the golf page i trolled a lot of people on the golf page my the halloween page usually for a halloween page on a yearbook you know you're going to post pictures of people wearing their halloween costumes for the year but i decided instead to just take all the popular people's faces and photoshop them on to baby costumes so all of these popular like hot girls were in little buntings. And my yearbook teacher, Ms. Nusbin, shout out to her, didn't give a shit.

And it was just passed on right into the yearbook. And then on the very bottom border, there are like three actual pictures of people in their Halloween costume. So I think I did a really good job. The sass has always been there for me. That's what I've really learned. That was my good week. I really, I really thrived in high school. My other good week is, so I'm an Enneagram 7, the enthusiast. and Enneagram sevens really thrive on activities and adventure and experience. So this whole quarantine thing has been quite a learning experience for me. It's so far off from anything that I'm used to in my normal life. I'm usually going from like one thing to another. I have a million things going on. So this has taught me to slow down a lot. So where I'm finding my joy

is making activities out of nothing so and the schedule's full this guy i'm just trying to like give myself something to look forward to because i usually look forward to like doing stuff so i've created stuff out of nothing so we've had a lot of fun little experiences we had a wine and cheese night that was really cute and paint night and jared started off painting like wait a second it's okay so i grew up watching bob ross yes did you watch bob ross when you're okay so bob ross always looks like he's ruining the thing that he's painting until he's done painting it and then it's like oh my god this is a masterpiece i feel like you didn't have that sort of context when you were watching me paint so you were really nervous and then it came out as a masterpiece you

saw it's beautiful it actually did come out a lot better than i thought it would i was shocked jared jared does not have a um delicate hand i'll put that very lightly he has a very heavy hand he just goes in with everything that he's got and um it's basically like you're painting with your fist i watched the video that you took of me doing it and it looks like i'm using like a marker yeah it's a paintbrush and you're not holding it like it's like i don't know how to paint brush it's like you're holding it in your fist i don't know how to paint you did a good job so i was shocked at jared's by the way while i'm painting this you and both your parents are laughing at me it was like painting under extreme scrutiny it wasn't even like i wasn't even halfway done yet

and everyone was like oh this is horrible you you're miserable at this but you do you've told me we're both the same that we do our best at the 11th hour and under massive stress which is so bad that sucks that i have to get to that but yeah you're right i feel like i don't i don't rise to the occasion until the occasion is about to like ruin my life yeah until you're about to get like off and you're like oh wait a second right right so that's how you were with the painting but we've done we've done some mario kart we've done some cornhole games i did a i did an entire brunch for jared's belated birthday where i made a menu i just really live for these moments that i can try to turn things into something you're doing a really you're doing a great job because

if it was just me i'd like sit up in bed maybe scroll my phone for like two hours i'll hear you like clanking around in the other room and i'm like okay we're about to do something i should probably get out okay jared what's your good week or a bad week okay my good week happened last night so we've been talking about this for like what like this whole week so every time we're trying so i'll start with the fact that one of my activities that i really am trying to plan is planning meals i'm now finding joy and trying to plan specific meals so one of the meals okay so my favorite my favorite i'll say it should i just i'll say it my favorite restaurant in the world is taco bell in the world in the world i love taco like you're if you were on death row and

your very last meal would be taco crunch wrap supreme okay so here's how it goes it's like i i think it's because just being on the road for so long it's kind of it's saved my life in so many different scenarios that like i just i guess i appreciate it right um so anyways i wanted to make a crunch wrap because we can't we're definitely afraid to go anywhere anywhere right now so last night we finally got all the ingredients together to do it and we're it actually went like pretty smooth while we were making it too i was like i thought and quickly i was like wait we're ready to eat already i was doing all this stuff at the same time which for me is really overwhelming you can be to get overwhelmed yeah yeah so but we're going and it's working and then

i i flip it over on the pan and it's this beautiful like golden brown like sear on the bottom of it just like crispy and perfectly filled with all the most delicious ingredients and then was that the moment that you knew it was successful it was a flip absolutely yeah oh my god it was so good it was so good it was so good i was 100 satisfied in the crunch wraps homemade crunch wraps the homemade crunch wrap supreme and we didn't even have the taco bell sauce nope and it was still great literally just one item on the plate you didn't need anything else it was so good very proud of it um one thing that i have learned through this quarantine is i know i'm a terrible cook but i think i'm like the worst that there could ever be and i just hover over you

and probably make your yeah it's one thing to not know what you're doing in the kitchen it's a whole other level to just stand right next to all the shit that i need to use so we're working on that i'm trying to help you and then i don't know what to do but then i want to show support so i just stand there and then i end up in your way and then you get frustrated and annoyed at me oh i gotta get so mad at you it's fine though and then i don't know okay do you have a a bad week or another good week well my other good week was my was my belated birthday because you did we did that brunch and it was a it was so awesome because i woke up and you had like a menu like printed out like on gloss like like photo paper it was like fully designed and you like handed it to me and

you're like hey look it's we're doing brunch for your birthday and i was like that's the sweetest thing ever and you're like by the way you're cooking all the stuff listen i again i could have tried and it would have sucked and then i would have ruined our little rations of groceries that we had no it was really sweet so that i guess i have two good weeks that's the other one well we were supposed to go to the mountains and go like have a ski snow fun extravaganza for jared's birthday but then but yeah oh yay well i'm glad you liked it i worked with what i could which was nothing and then the only decorations that i had were four cowboy hats and we just wore cowboy hats to give you dinner it was good though because i i was walking around like the day before

that i was like hey jack what are you gonna do for my birthday do you have any plans well you know all i love to do is plan stuff i know so it's kind of fun to put you on the spot because i feel like you're never you're like always so prepared so yeah the only thing thing i can do is photoshop and there's nothing else left okay so eating well shouldn't be complicated but somehow it turns into recipes, prep, cleanup, and half your Sunday gone. Factor solves all that. These are fresh, ready-to-eat meals designed by dieticians, delivered to your door, and ready in just minutes. No prep, no cleanup, no excuses. And it's not just about convenience. You're getting real food, balanced nutrition, and zero artificial stuff. Meals that help you stay on track for

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Go to factormeals.ca and use code RESET. That's up to $90 off and free shipping, but only with the code RESET at factormeals.ca. Factor, Canada's number one meal delivery service. Stick around, and we'll be back to roast Jared. Now back to the Lady Gang. Okay, so before we start, you know that we always do an intro for our guest. Okay.

So I wrote an intro for you. Oh, great. Are you ready? No. Okay. This week's guest is the lead guitarist of your favorite emo band during your high school years, and quite possibly your favorite band of all time called The Main. He travels the world serving hot plates of rock and roll to thousands of adoring fans

at night cheering, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. He is a beefy, freckly, ginger Jesus and is the biggest sweetie pie to ever walk this earth. He can build a computer from scratch. His favorite gourmet restaurant is Taco Bell, which we've already talked about. And he won't stop asking me to French braid his hair. His claim to fame is owning a dinner plate signed by Guy Fieri and dating me. welcome to the show jared monaco aka jerry wow i'll clap for me was that good that was great

i'm clapping for you that was awesome thank you you have a wow i've i always thought it was a one-dimensional until i heard that you're not one-dimensional at all did you like your ginger jesus i do like that you know we've been going for that for a while well we've been going for it and then we thought that jared was going to cut his hair and then things happened and now your hair is longer than mine i had plans before this whole thing shut down to go get a haircut but i'm liking the ginger jesus hair it's getting better it's getting better two things about that one jared is the most freckly person that i've ever met in my entire life so the other night when we were bored we decided to i i drew maybe like a one by one inch circle on your arm and

counted the freckles in that circle to kind of get an idea of how many freckles total you had on your body how many were there like 110 110 freckles in a one by one yeah circle i mean yeah i have a lot i just i'm so used to it that i don't even really think about it but and that wasn't even in a very like high freckle uh area of your arm no like right there that well there's too many those freckles just all fuse into one yeah okay so the first question i'm going to ask you a series of questions are you ready yes okay the first question um that everybody wants to know is what is the origin of the name jerry okay all right so we went to uh my guitar tech adam's wedding in in seattle yeah this was september of 2000 this is pretty soon after we

started dating it was like right after we started yeah so we went up to seattle and in the airport there was uh what am i what was it beecher's cheese yeah so we got like a sandwich in the airport and the woman had spelled my name j well she called jerry to come get the sandwich which happens all the time you give them jared and they always give you jared they always say jerry but this particular woman wrote j-e-r-i and for whatever reason you thought that was the funniest shit you'd ever heard and i am still still dealing with this like what two years later now it just it's non-stop but now the name jerry has kind of it's come to you and it is i embrace it like when i feel like it i embrace it like there's there's a version of you that's like a jerry i love how

much my mom hates it it's the funniest thing in the world i mean it's not a good name she's like if i wanted to call him that i would i would have named him that i like it it's a sweet joke but I think it's good. You have gotten like Starbucks orders and like random. Oh, yeah. I love that now because when I – because it's happened a couple times since then where they'll spell it with J-E-R-I. And you probably know that it's like a low-key fan. Yeah.

Or they just like really pick up that Jerry is like your given name. I think it's a vibe I put out. It's my face, I think. No, and, yeah, the best part about that, though, is that as mad as I get when it happens, I'm like, oh, I got to text this to Jack. I got to show Jack. I don't know. It makes me happy. It's really funny.

It is pretty funny. It's like a low-key troll. Okay, so that's the origin of the Jerry story. Another question is the origin of us. Okay. So will you tell your version of how we met, and then we need to kind of, like, tell the story of how we reconnected. Okay. so we met because i mean my band started in 2007 when did you start doing your brand it was like

2008 yeah so either way we had a couple mutual friends in la because i just started to come out to la to record and to like have label meetings and stuff and the details are a little bit fuzzy but i pretty sure the first night that we met we were at and if anybody out there knows what bar i'm talking about i say this all the time it's so you describe it it had red velvet walls and there were like it was kind of dim like chandeliers and it was two levels or two stories and i can't remember the name of it but i'm absolutely positive that's the place where i ran into you it was like 2007 and it was probably one of the first times i'd ever really been in la like on business especially but yeah um and then i think for a little bit there we were like running

in the same circle for a bit and then warp tour happened and at this point we're already like acquaintances right like we knew each other and so regardless of how i wanted to approach you i probably just look like a pirate every day and then uh we did it the next year too you did 09 right and that's when we hung out like a lot we were hanging out like like every night i remember i think rocket was on it and some of our friends yeah and so the way it would work is at the end of the night everybody would pack their stuff up and then you'd have like lawn chairs out and everybody would kind of be hanging out so that's like we probably spent most nights hanging out on that tour i think we spent like every night yeah we hung out like the whole time yeah and

the thing about warp tour too is like you what i was doing i had my own brand on the tour so i was selling merch out of my tent and i'd be at my tent all day and then when jared wasn't doing anything he would like come over to my tent bring a beer he'd hang out with me yeah chat about everything It's basically just a really long garage sale. Yes. Two-month-long garage sale. No, it was fun. And those were, like, really kind of the early years of everything that we both ended up doing.

So I remember a lot about it. And I remember being, like, really tired but really excited to see you and being, like, that's kind of, like, a thing that you could look forward to at the end of the day is go and, like, hang out. Well, and the way that I describe it too is like Warped Tour is this very specific experience that you have with like a collective of 500 different people. But it's an experience that you don't have anywhere else in life. So I feel like you make these bonds with people that you wouldn't make in normal life. And it's just such an intense two months where you spend so much more time with people than you would if you were friends with them for years. and you like i don't know you really connect with people in a very very deep different special way well jared and i were like really we're like best friends yeah i mean we're

very very close just because we spent all those all those days doing kind of the same thing it's like you said it's it's like bonding with somebody can we tell the story of how you reached out to me and what was happening on your well you say what was happening on your end i'll say what was happening on my end of this day okay so i so by so we we're best friends by the way we had traveled the world together yeah we even did like europe like there was warp tour uk and europe that you were on our bus i lived on jared's bus it was it's the worst bus worst bus we've ever been we've been to australia together we've done all these tours together but um and then you know things kind of fizzled because somebody had a girlfriend and it wasn't a good situation yeah

How dare I? Okay. So the day that I hit you up, it was Ventura. It was the Ventura date of the 2018 Warped Tour. Which was the last Warped Tour ever. Final Warped Tour. So I think one of my buddies, maybe it was Tim or somebody had like, they're like, oh, we're in LA. Is Jack coming? And it kind of like triggered this like light bulb. It was like, I think I had been single for like several months at this point. Yeah. and i hadn't really been obviously i hadn't really been like trying to date at all i just been kind of on warped having fun and then uh this sounds like all i do is go on warp tour ridiculous it's not i promise this is not my whole life when i talk about any of my past i was like you know this story also starts on warp tour um no so anyways i tim or some one of the guys i i

i can't say who now but um which by the way we hadn't talked in probably like four years five years the last time we had talked it was when i was at uh uh davey waynes yeah he was like a block away from my apartment asking me to come meet up with him i was and i was like hey what are you doing come come meet me and you were like absolutely not i was like okay um and so this was five years after that and i was in the back lounge of the bus and someone was like yeah they like someone was like is jack coming to ventura and i was like i don't you know i don't know i maybe i was like also odd that you're asking me that like you know but you know i am curious and so they were like dude you should text her i was like yeah i should definitely text her and then i

was like oh what do i text her and then it turned into like five of my friends sitting there being like oh say this say this what about this and then finally i was like no i got it and i was like you never got it though no well i beg to differ oh that's true i mean so so i go what did i say okay i go um hey a little birdie told me that you're coming to warp tour tomorrow because it's still or was it the next day yeah i was like you're coming to work tomorrow it was on sunday this was on a friday okay and warped was on a sunday but i was like someone a little birdie told me you're coming to ventura um you know is this true or whatever and i think you said like no i'm not or i wasn't planning on it no because i wasn't then i was like yeah yeah no i

know i think it was like my it was kind of my like decoy right i was like yeah yeah i knew you weren't coming but like do you want to come you should come see me yeah and then okay so by the way as all this is happening my friends are like what did she say what did she say and then everybody is just like sitting in the background so now there's like seven people like around me and everyone's like i got a message back and so everybody freaks out right and they're like what'd she say and i was like i was like uh she said she asked oh you asked me if i was single that was like your follow-up question yeah you were like are you coming to warp a little bird told me you're coming to warp tour i was like no i'm not and you're like yeah yeah i know you're

not but you totally and then my follow-up question was are you single because i mean jared there's always been something with us always yeah so it's like if i'm gonna see you again what's the point because i'm gonna just run away at the end of the night because i'm we'll have like a really intense conversation jared will freak out and run away and then i'll be pissed that's usually how would go so so yeah so i you said are you single and then i said um yeah because i was and every it was like tense in the back after i sent that they're like holy shit they're like she's asking if you're single like what and so then it got like real tense and then i and then the three dots showed up and and everybody was like holy shit like and then you sent back i think

you sent back like oh my god or holy shit i said oh boy oh boy yeah all caps oh boy and everybody just went bananas like the whole back lounge like lost their shit and i was like holy and then and then i was like wait then i called you nope that's what i'm getting okay so you said oh boy all caps and then in the middle of all of us freaking out and like they're like yelling and doing you know just doing guy shit yeah um as this is all happening my phone starts ringing and it's you and i was like oh what do i do like go obviously go answer your phone so i like ran off the bus and you know my favorite thing is because i remember it from that phone call and then the next few phone calls that we had because i would always just randomly call you because i

have always had this like safety comfortableness with you right i usually don't call people right But with you, I'd just, like, ring you up, and every time you'd answer the phone, I could feel your nerves. Oh, my gosh. Like, from that phone call, I knew now that you're with all your guys, and you answer the phone, you're like, hello. I just ran away from a room of guys going, let's fucking go. Like, everybody's, like, freaking out. And so, like, I'm trying to shake off those nerves, and then I'm outside, and there's, like, raging parties happening, like, all around me because it's warm. Right, right, right.

late at night and i'm like trying to find a quiet place to answer the phone and then and then now i'm like overplaying it i'm like being like i don't want you're acting like you're just like uh i'm just like hanging out whatever um hello uh i'm just chilling um hello um no and it was it was funny because like i i knew like i right there i was like okay she's definitely coming whether or not she's gonna hang out with me at all while she's here at least you're coming and so um i saw it totally different than you saw it though which is really funny to me because to you you're like just some dude is like hitting me up again no well because the thing was it's like we hadn't talked in so long so i kind of

forgot i didn't forget because there's always like been something between me and you but i didn't imagine that it would amount to anything other than like a day of fun i'm like whatever this is my way in it's fine i'll go and get drunk and whatever and then when i came and we hung out well we hung out in the beginning of the day and then i think i left to hang out with some other people and you texted me and you're like are you gonna come back did i say that yeah i got clingy i don't remember doing that yeah okay but then i came back and then we made out all night and then the rest is history it's awesome oh also i almost didn't get you in yep i remember i i forgot yeah so you were coming on sunday and saturday so it was ventura so it was definitely

the busiest date of the whole run saturday you had to turn in your guest list by a certain time right and i just totally spaced it it was kind of a busier day for us and like i just forgot to put in the guest list right so sunday morning rolls around and you're texting me like like 10 a.m like hey we're getting ready to come out there and i'm like oh shit and so i go to tanner our tour manager i'm like hey um i forgot to put jack on i need her plus one he was like dude i can't he's like we're out of spots and so then i go into like full panic like full panic and i was like keep like totally playing it cool with you on the other end i had to go beg taking back sunday yeah to get to get but luckily there were a couple bands out that had spots but i was just like

frantic scrambling trying to what would have happened i would have i wouldn't have come we wouldn't have reconnected this is what we're saying when the pressure is on that's right 11th hour you pulled through it i go knocking on doors that's what i did last moment okay so the next question that somebody asked that's kind of uh relevant to this is somebody wanted to know what our first date was so this is the first date can we get away from warp tour for once it was on it was in florida oh the sweaty this is funny though this is like our origin story podcast because we're now like 30 minutes into it it's just gonna be your origin story all right whatever so the thing about me and jared is we were so close and knew so much about each other but our lives kind

of lived within the confines of tour yeah we only really hung out when we were touring and we were at a show even like we've been all around the world together but it was always within these certain confines yeah so after the first the reconnection at ventura warp tour we started talking again and you invited me out to i mean we were like religiously texting each other for the rest of the tour i still had like three weeks left out on the road oh yeah no i mean ever since that day it was done it was just like you and i were just we're just going we're just talking non-stop i was calling you a bunch and you stopped getting so nervous every time you'd jump on the phone i got better and then you were like hey um why don't i just come see you at the end of the run because

i think we were ending or one of the and yeah i think florida was where it was going to wrap up and it was like going to be cool because we both had spent so many years on the tour and that's where they're going to kind of do the final show final thing yeah it was very a full full circle by the way neither one of us gave a shit about that last show like remember it was like oh yeah it was more of an excuse to be like hey you should come out yeah so well and i wanted to like live my glory days like i do have such a connection to that part of my life as you do that's where so much of our bond comes from so anyways you came out to florida and i think was it orlando was like it was orlando so we had we had a date out there where we played kind of

early because you never know what time your band is going to play until that day no you could wake up with the worst hangover of your life at 10 a.m and kevin lyman would be like you're playing at 11 get your ass up puke on stage so we had a one of those dates we played early like like 1 or 2 p.m and we had all this time afterwards and we were like hey we should let's go to a bar like let's go out and do something and so it was the first time literally the first time that you and i had ever left the festival grounds to go do something together of anything alone and i was nervous I was sweaty. I mean, we were in Florida, so give me a break.

But you were so sweaty. I remember you put a windbreaker on. Yeah. And I was like, why are you doing that? It's so hot outside. What's wrong with you? And then I started to just sweat. Yeah.

And I'm realizing now it's not because I was hot. I was a little bit on edge. I was nervous. You were so nervous just to leave that bubble and go experience a normal life. But we went to a really cool speakeasy type of a bar. Yeah. And I think once you – No, it got worse there.

We walked in and, like, everybody was dressed, like, super fancy. And I'm in my, like – I'm covered in, like, dirt. It's been, like, a whole six weeks of just sunburn and, like, sweat and sunscreen in my hair. It's just gross, right? Yeah. And we walk into this place. I'm like, oh, shit. I'm like, I can't hang.

Like, I don't even – I feel like I've been in prison. like i feel like i just got out of jail yeah and now i have to act normal in like a nice place and like trying to impress a gal yeah and so i was like uh i have to go to the bathroom and i just bailed and i'm like in the bathroom like splashing water on my face and it was just like it wasn't like i will i will give you that it was like mostly you mostly nerves but it was a lot of it was just like i had been and i don't know if you can attest to this but like when you're on that run like you start to get so wrapped up in like the day-to-day routine that like once you break it like so that was a whole other almost like snowball within yourself yeah but i pulled i

pulled myself out of the tailspin i went and like splashed water on my face and i came out and you were like so cool about it you were like not not being like because you're like you're like when you stub your tail and someone's like dude are you okay yeah you weren't doing that i wasn't bringing attention to the fact that you were nervous and it was like that made me feel really great and then i we were able to kind of get through that and then like the night just got better and better and better from there yeah we ended up at that like arcade bar that was yeah we're playing video games playing mario kart it was so fun and i was like okay this is fucking awesome yeah so yeah it was like ripping off the band-aid into into real life and now look

at us you're listening to the lady gang okay and we're back so i'm foregoing as lady gang sorry kelty night i'm just going off script all right i'm gonna go to a more um let's do a thoughtful question what keeps your relationship strong while we're both so we're long distance now we're gonna move in together soon yeah but as of right now we're long distance and we also travel a lot separately for our separate jobs so we're like double long distance so we got a question asking what um how we keep our relationship strong through right well we just did that it was brutal i just did that month in europe where we're in different time zones like five weeks um i think the best thing that you can do is communicate yeah and be and have like a routine

and be like you know we might not be texting or calling each other all day but like at least something in the morning to be like how's your day starting you know and then at least something at night to be like how did everything go and a lot of times you're going to get the same answer from somebody especially i mean even if we were together we'd have the same answer probably right yeah but just doing that and having that routine of like morning and night that thing those are those it doesn't matter if you're working regular nine to five or what those are the moments that everybody usually has together so it's like at least trying to keep that as as some sort of norm and i know it's not a great substitute but you know then there's trying to face time and stuff

and and it was really europe was tough i had a i had a hard time keeping it is hard and i mean i have to say i think a lot of it isn't really the things that you do through long distance i think it's the relationship that you have with each other i think our relationship has been so stable and strong that it is what it is that we're doing it long distance and also i think it helps that both of us have done long distance relationships before so we both kind of right it's not like either of us are jumping into something new that we've we're used to being around our partner 24 7 like we've both all of my relationships have been long distance my serious ones right so i'm used to it you're used to it your 10-year relationship was long distance so yeah i think

having the expectations of knowing how to deal with it has been easy but then also for me that what's made it different than my past relationships is the stability and love and just knowing that my partner is there for me and right there's no anxiety with it right it's a bummer that i'm not with you but there's not any like wondering what you're doing or like why aren't you telling me like suspiciousness or that's such bullshit i once you if you can get if that even exists in your relationship you're never going to be able to have a long distance thing even if it's temporary like well long distance can't work if you're suspicious of your partner absolutely you know so it's like first off establishing like trust like that goes so far i mean in any relationship

But if it does come to a point where you're not going to be seeing each other for extended periods of time, like if there's any sort of jealousy or suspicion, that shit just gets amplified and blown out of proportion. And so especially somebody that's in a band. Oh, my God. Yeah. But it's me. All you do is just think about me every day, all day, every day and just text me all the time. Well, this is going to kind of flow over into the next question. Which is, what's the sweetest thing that each of us has done for each other?

And I'll answer first because it kind of goes into what we're talking about. Okay. I think the sweetest thing that you have ever done for me is when your love language is very much words of affirmation. I think that you give it and receive it very well. Jared is like the most incredible communicator with his feelings. he's very soft and has a lot of feelings and is not afraid to express them which I especially when we first started dating needed it so bad so the sweetest thing you've ever done for me is when we started dating I think I was in a good place mentally but I really needed reassurance and I

needed stability and I needed constant like just reassurance of knowing that my person was there for me and wasn't going to bail right and every night you said the most thoughtful incredible things to me even when i would just fall asleep and never respond to them you still said all the time i'd be like paragraphs of shit tap tap is anybody out there it'd be like it'd be like is this thing on but it would be like paragraphs of like the sweetest most thoughtful words that i've ever that anybody has ever told me and i know because i know you that they weren't bullshit like that it was coming from the heart of course and even though i didn't respond half the time because i fell asleep like that is what i needed to build um onto a relationship that would actually

last right well yeah i i was coming from a place of knowing your story of where what kind of relationship you were in prior to this and like i know that there was like a definitely a trust thing that i was gonna have to break down and overcome so that was like i mean and i even when we're warped to her again but even when we were on that warped and before i even saw you again i was like this is very important that i like start establishing this now because i could tell there was like as soon as you started telling me about like you know how your last relationship ended and all this stuff i was like okay this is obviously thing number one that we have to work gone um well also i think that there's some stuff with our past too where it's like you had bailed

on the friendship side of it too where it's like well and i knew i was in a bad bad place with that too i knew it was going to be like you know i i had the disadvantage there because i did i totally bailed on you and i felt horrible about that you know and like it's one of those things where i felt like the amount of work that was required like the amount of work i had to put into this i knew would be worth it because i knew that me and you were so compatible in a lot of ways where it was like it was like i just needed to lay it out very black and white very plainly like what my goals were you know at least between the two of us yeah um and it worked it did work and i i feel like that coming from any other partner or any other potential partner would

have been overbearing and a lot yeah and something i didn't i don't know it would have been a lot but from you it's like exactly what i needed to get to the point where i felt comfortable and safe around somebody so i think that's the sweetest thing that you've ever done for me so thank you wow wow um all right well this is this is tough because you're like um you're like one of those people who like continuously does really thoughtful you're like really good at doing thoughtful things so like i don't really want to pick like a gift or like one of those things i think i think for you one of the sweetest things that you continuously do for me is like the idea of continued space from each other when we're together is a big deal i know we spend a lot

of time apart but i feel like you don't you don't like uh punish me for the fact that like we have to be apart sometimes like when we're together like i'm a night owl right like you like to go to bed at like 10 p.m so like i'll lay with you for a little bit and then you'll fall asleep and be like okay i'm gonna go do my thing i'm gonna be up for another like two three hours i'm gonna work on music i'm gonna just maybe around for a little bit like whatever i stay up late and you don't have it's not like this weird thing like oh your schedule's getting off like you see how i operate as an individual like how i am and you're totally cool about it okay cool whatever i'm not used to that yeah you know there were times in the past where it was like i felt like i was like

being selfish for wanting to have like some time for myself at the end of the day and you're super duper understanding of all that stuff which makes me feel very like okay like me and you have our time together like all the time all day long like we spend all day with each other and it's like it's really nice to to have a little bit of space even though where we spend a lot of time apart it keeps it so that we don't binge each other when we are together right like it totally puts that cushion there where it's like instead of like when i see you it's like oh my god if we're not hanging out like it's the end of the world like no it's more of like having that just a little bit of like separation yeah is really important well i think

that also goes back to the fact that you and you and i both know that we need our personal time for sure like we both love to be around each other but like you said it's like just because we're around each other doesn't mean we need to be around each other 24 7 like i need my own personal space in the morning too and i also need it at night because i can barely fall asleep with somebody in the bed next to me so it is a perfect balance of you knowing when to like cuddle me and you knowing when to leave no and that's why and there's no like offense taken no to either of us to if either of us are like i gotta have my personal space like you're working on music i'm not going to talk to you i think that's why that is it's a sweet gesture because my my

personality is that of somebody who would be if you were like no like i'm going to bed stay here i would just do it yeah but i would i don't want to do it but you would do it but i would do it yeah you know so like it's a really nice way to be like oh go do your thing yeah that's it means a lot like at the end of the day it's a really sweet gesture to me so oh that is not where i thought that was going to go space oh i like that yeah well where i thought it was going to go is maybe you're going to like point out one of my amazing gifts that i've given you and then i would talk about how we're so opposite about so many but there's so many of those there's so many right yeah should we end this with the story about um the get one of the christmas presents that you

gave me oh like a bad one do you know the one shit okay should we okay so see i don't think that my love language is gift giving but i think that i'm a really thoughtful gift giver to people that i absolutely love like i think i'm a very creative most of the things i make but they're not janky like stupid gifts i think i make like pretty thoughtful gifts you ever watch parks and right yeah you're leslie no you are you are the person who zeroes in on the exact thing that fits a certain person and you're really good at like giving them the perfect gift like you're just good at that thank you yeah sure but it's really fucking frustrating when i'm trying to like everything's a competition to me like if you're gonna do something super thoughtful like i have

to try to beat it and i always get up yeah but i again i don't i'm not looking for that i don't think i am a my love language my receiving love language i don't think is gift giving like i don't thrive off of right gifts um but this is the last christmas two christmases ago oh shit jared and i exchanged gifts i went overboard and they're all super thoughtful artistic amazing gifts that's the picture frame and then jared also super thoughtful he gave me he gave me a bunch of great gifts but they weren't number one i don't want a gift that's something that i have to put up in my apartment because i curate my apartment in a certain way where i have all the things that fit perfectly together

they've been very thoughtfully placed and you're already losing people right now what you're already losing people because you're so specific there's a lot of people out there oh that'd be nice i would like that you're losing people right now but go ahead keep going well okay i don't like pictures in my apartment i don't want photos i don't like pictures of anything i have like art and stuff like that but no pictures but anyways for christmas jared gave me this really cute picture of us and this really cute frame yeah go ahead now that i'm hearing it I get it. Okay, keep going.

And I appreciated the gift, but again, I don't... This is before I think you really understood that about, like, my space, right? Right. No, I definitely had an idea. Well, the thing... Well, yeah. No, come on. I knew.

I knew this was definitely me rolling the dice, but... So he rolled the dice. He gave me this really... It was such a cute picture of us. Lupe had taken all those photos of us at Gable's wedding. At the wedding where Jerry's name came to be. really really good photos they're adorable they're really cute couple photos jared gave it to me in this this frame that was like a rose gold kind of geometric frame doesn't really fit my aesthetic

i knew yeah and i knew that but i just i need basically hold on basically the idea was i wanted to present the photo in a way where it was like not just handing you a series of pictures i didn't know how to do that it was so sweet i was gonna like it now that i think about it i should have like commission like some sort of like renaissance style like i could have done the renaissance style yeah whatever so the frame is where it ended up right which i knew i knew it was a gamble right go ahead so anyways fast forward like a month and i was doing a big clean out of my apartment and in this big clean out i would try to inconspicuously throw out this frame because it wasn't gonna fit in my and it wasn't like a super expensive it wasn't like i was throwing

away a super expensive thing but anyways i threw away the frame and i put it in this cardboard box to be put into the recyclable thing but then jared just so happened to visit california that day and he was helping me clear my recyclables jack gets more packages than anybody i've ever met so every time i show up to her apartment there's a mountain of boxes that i have to break down and take out the recycle i just do this every time i show up so i'm breaking everything down and i'm walking out to the trash chute where the recycles go and i look down in this thing and it's the framed photo no it's just the frame it's just the frame but like i thought the photo was in it so i like had a freak out and i came back in i was like oh are there any other presents that i've

gotten you that you want me to go throw away right now for you it was just like i was like you look what you did yeah yeah so i did not mean for that to happen but it's like getting your nose rubbed and it's like when you're in your shit yeah whatever but what i did do is jared one night that we were playing darts yeah you had written on the back of the sweetest no on the back of a receipt and it was like it was like dear jacqueline i'll always be better at everything than you including loving you and it was the sweetest no ever and i saved that and i framed that in a frame that matches my decor and it's next to my it's it's on my bedside table where that frame would have lived right so i replaced it was on our score for the game right

where i beat you yeah yeah yeah so that was really sweet but you know i don't know what the moral of the story is i'm sorry no you shouldn't be the moral of the story is that everybody is different Everybody has their own set of things that they value, and I just had – I'm honestly, like, relearning those things. It's like you don't like to put photos up in your apartment. Sure, it's weird, but that's how you are. They really ruin the vibe. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.

Well, we learned a lot about each other. We did. So I forget how we end these podcasts. Thank you, Jerry, for being the best guest I've ever had. Wow. And the best partner. And I love you. I love you, too.

See you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening, and make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcasts. We have new episodes of Lady Gang every Tuesday and Thursday. Follow us on social media at TheLadyGang. Follow us personally at Kelty, most importantly, at Becca, and at Jack Bannock. The Lady Gang Network is produced by Will Sterling, Steve Delamater, Kirsten Woodward, and Elizabeth Begwet. Thanks for rating and reviewing wherever you get your podcasts and tune in for new episodes every single week.