LadyGang - Jamie Lee

Episode Date: August 28, 2017

Comedian, author of Weddiculous and wedding expert of Lady Gang Your Life Jamie Lee brings her experience getting married to the studio as the Ladies take a good hard look at the wonderful and inane details of the wedding experience. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's your Lady Gang, Jack Vanek, Kelty Knight, and Becca Tobin. Thank you so much for subscribing on iTunes, and thanks for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you every single week for free. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang.

Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. hello hello hello hollywood's hottest girl posse i am the gg across from me is bella and i don't want to be bella i want to be kendall okay you can be kendall and you can be bella i don't want to be bella why bella is beautiful i don't know really i think she's pretty i mean she bought her face and it was a good purchase i would like to buy a new face i wouldn't be me too girl call me okay uh i'm becca tobin actress uh bella hadid enthusiast and blogger at the ladygang.com

across from me kelty knight and i love my sister kylie oh my god you're so you're an idiot she likes to role play and she is an entertainment journalist she's on every red carpet she interviews george clooney and julia roberts and all those cool people um to my right jack vanek clothing designer of jack vanek.com hey um and she used to be a myspace it girl yes i still am a myspace it girl is there myspace no no remember she told the story about how all her photos got taken down so they rebooted it and then it went away again yeah my fun fact for this week shoot is that i was a competitive gymnast what did you not know this can you can you do the tumbles i can still do back handsprings really what yeah because you're small no it's

because i'm gifted back handsprings i it's because i am gifted and i'm an athlete wow yeah i did competitive gymnastics and i like got medals i was i wore a long sleeve bedazzled leotard yes i did yeah i did you know that's what stunted your growth no it didn't 100 percent short or the fact that every one of my family's short they didn't do gymnastics i don't think it stunts your growth unless you're like an olympian and your boobie growth yeah your boobies don't grow okay well i think there's like that might also a million i like there's so much evidence against your theory i think their growth is stunted and their boobies are stunted because when they're in those years of that we're all normally going through puberty they're working

out so hard and they're like building up all this muscle and not eating and they delay their periods because yeah like none of the girls i did gymnastics with got their periods until not enough fat on you yeah no body fat i mean i'm similar now um okay what is your fun fact my fun fact is my first crush in life was the green power ranger you've used that before you're running out of fun facts about yourself because i never write them down i guess you're not fun i'm not fun that's her fun fact that she's not fun okay um my fun fact is that But, oh, God, am I fun? No, no, no.

I got this. I got this. I got this. I live two houses down from a skating rink. And when I was in grade – Roller skating? No, ice skating. Right now?

No, like when I was a kid. Oh. And when I was in grade five, I went on a skate date. A skate date? Ice skating? That's a fun fact. I went with Darren from my jazz class. Okay.

Like jazz dancing? Yeah. Is Darren a homosexual? I don't know what Darren does now, but he had a white Club Monaco t-shirt that he wore in jazz class and on our skate date, and I thought it was pretty hot. Did you check the label, or did it say Club Monaco across? I'm sure it said Club Monaco across. Wow, Darren.

Hey. That's pretty cool. I bet Darren dates boys. Anyway, that's all I got. I like skate dates. Okay, it's time for... Good week. Yes, it is.

Bad week. Oh, no. I'm going to start. Yep. Do it. Yep. Okay. Bad week.

Very simple. I get bikini waxes. I don't look forward to them. They're not fun. And it's taken me years and years and years to find like the place that's convenient as well as the wax that's good and the waxer that you vibe with. My waxer left. Oh, no.

Yeah. What do you do now? Get lasered. I'm so angry. I am so upset. She didn't leave a note. she didn't call wait she didn't tell you she was she didn't even tell me where they went did she give up waxing did your vagina make her quitter job maybe maybe she might have moved to

a nearby place it's so upsetting i'm surprised she didn't have like a forward like i know also find me at one time like i felt like we were so close that she even like i guess every month they get a free wax that they can give away she hooked me up with the free wax that's nice she's like i'm gonna let you use my free wax this month like we were friends she's gone apparently not you gotta find a new waxer it's upsetting that is upsetting it is awkward like when someone sees your vag for the first time like it's nice to i just like she was fast she was easy like she had we like i like when people talk to me during a while i need to be distracted yeah yeah and sometimes i just i yeah okay so that was my bad week it's pretty bad my good week is that

i have one of the many benefits of being married do you want to hear about it lower taxes nope oh bomb ass health insurance i am officially an adult because i got seriously psyched to find out because we compared because through the um screen actors guild i can also get a pretty pretty good insurance It's like for me, it's not bad for me. It's not bad. Um, and then it, but it, and it's good. And like the coverage is good, whatever.

But my husband works in the medical field and it is bomb. Like I'm pretty sure I could get a nose job covered. No, um, my husband's, uh, health insurance covers. If you want to transition from woman to man, the whole thing. Incredible. Isn't that incredible? Yeah. Covers any of that.

And it also covers IVF. Okay. That's good. Oh, that's amazing. I need to check on the IVF. That should be something. That angers me that it's not covered across the board. Don't even get me freaking started.

Okay. All right. That was mine. Wasn't that nice and brief? It was brief. I'm brief. Okay. I'll go.

So for my good week, I'm just going to shout out our Facebook group because it is the shit and we have almost- I love them. 8 000 members and we have so many like off groups yeah it's crazy yeah like like lady gang mommies and lady gang weddings and fitness and there's a politics group and the bachelor group barf what i'm not the bachelor group are you oh my god it's add me guys there's like workout groups there's all these different groups but my favorite group is is a secret spy group that a couple of the girls from the lady gang started and all they do is number one they're petty as hell and it's

amazing and they just like take like different drama that's happening from all these different groups and just analyze it and talk shit and it's amazing oh my gosh that's right up our eye when you said spy i thought it's the type of thing where if someone has like a private instagram account and you're like i would need to see them i need to follow them oh they would do they'd be the person to like yeah okay so they can like go and like do some recon yeah because there's been like a couple couple instances in our facebook group where like shit's gone awry yeah and these girls have like gone how many are they investigated there's like 20 girls oh my god and so i'm in it and they and i never post anything but i'll like like different comments so they know that i'm

lurking oh i love the lady gang group i know it like brightens my life when i go on the facebook everyone's amazing everyone's amazing and if you're not um in our facebook group what you do is you go to facebook and then you search the lady gang lady gang all one word and then it'll come up group and it'll say closed group and then you click on closed group and then we will maybe admit you and unfortunately i know we have guy listeners and we love love love our guy listeners but i'm sorry it's a place for women we talk about vaginas and sex and we had to kick out some guys we had to kick out some we're so we're sorry all the guys there are some guys in there well to be more specific if you're home if you're a heterosexual male you're out you're out and

We're really sorry that we're discriminating. We're probably going to get a lawsuit against us, and, like, I'm very sorry. We're being sexist. We are. But we're talking about, like, personal, you know, issues that girls don't want to, like, you know, they don't feel comfortable, you know, whatever. Yeah. Okay.

But it's the best group ever. So we're ready for it. So you're not in it. Bye. Bye. So my bad week is I never realized how much I love TSA PreCheck. Oh, it's amazing. It's the jam.

Until it just doesn't show up on my boarding pass. Oh, it's the end of the world. That's my biggest fear. So the other day I was flying and I was like running late and I'm like running through trying to go through security and I like go to go through the pre-check line and the lady's like, nope, go through the regular line. So I'm like, oh God. And I'm like to go back and like get it.

There's like so many people on the line. And I was also flying Southwest, which is like a nightmare. So I'm like waiting through the line, the normal commoners line at LAX, which is a nightmare. People like aren't even in line. And they're, like, sitting on the ground. Their shoes are off. Like, it's gross. It's like Skid Row.

It really is. People have tents. So I'm, like, going through. And the lady in front of me is going so damn slow. I can't. So slow. It's making me angry. And I'm, like, oh, my God.

Come on, lady. Like, I'm late. Whatever. And then she goes, like, put her bag through and sort of, like, leans over and then turns to me and then throws up. What? On the ground at my feet. No.

and it touched my toes that's why you should not be flying with an open-toed shoe just on the offshoot chance that somebody throws 100 you need full feet coverage you do i actually have a rule first of all i don't want to like that's disgusting but like i do have a rule i don't want to see your toes or your armpits at an airport or on an airplane there's nothing wear a tank top don't want to see your toes there's also that curve episode where like Larry flies with a guy and he's wearing shorts and he's like, I don't want to look at your legs. I wore shorts once and it was a major mistake.

It's disgusting. You stick to the seat that's sticky and you don't know what's sticky from. Is it poop? And like we've all left a snail trail on a seat before. Have we all? Yes. And they don't really clean those seats. No.

I clean mine. You can only imagine how much discharge is on your thighs. Disgusting. Anyway, I'm sorry. That's disgusting. Yeah. It was so, yeah. um first of all i'm gonna start with my good week so i was having a conversation with my mother

who if you can imagine is a lot like me as a mom and we had like a 45 minute conversation about why rules are important and why they cannot be broken ever and it was like pretty much the highlight of my year because i always felt like where did i get this weird need for rules and why am i so crazy and then when canadians love rules when i talked to her i was like oh my god we're the same and you're right like when there's a stop sign you should stop and like when it's your turn your boarding group you should board and like i agree with that one don't steal things and like i just it made me so happy so thanks mom even though i told you as a rule do not listen to this podcast so if you're listening to this you're breaking a rule this is the first time you've realized

you're like your mom no i knew i was like my mom in a lot of ways but like that was just having like someone pat me on the back and be like you're you you've been right all along rules are important it felt defining okay um here's my bad week so my husband chris gets a facebook or instant mess or instagram message i can't remember what because i was so shocked from an old girlfriend and i have now been reminded that you dated people before me which is already revolting um and she has cross-sectioned a photo of me and her and sent it to him and said oh my god you really must have a type are we the same or what and this girl was a hideous beast can i see the pic no i didn't save it oh i threw up on your toes what's her name i have no idea i don't want to know and i don't

care and also tell you or did you find no he showed it to me he was like look at this and i was like, what? She's also a psycho. Who the hell does that? But I guess he does have something in common. Cause you would totally do that. I would not do that. I bet you put a picture of Jack and yourself together and sent it to Voldemort. I bet you did. And never. Oh my God. That's crazy. I think it's really like your age. Here's the thing. Chris was like a seven and then I fixed him up to a 10 and now all those bitches want back at him because he's successful and he dresses well and he's a nice guy and they see him like and he's tall he's tall and he's sexy and he's just he's a total catch but when i met him he was like a little bit of a band nerd and like i have fixed

him up into the stud muffin he is and now all these ladies are coming out of the woodwork like oh i see them on instant really missed out yeah you did and he's mine so get the hell away from Mop, mop, mop. Ooh. Mop. Zing. Okay, guys, guess what? The lady box is officially sold out.

Yeah, we said it was going to happen, and then it did. So hopefully you got your cute little manicured nails on one, and they are now in the mail on their way to you. Make sure that when you open your lady boxes, take pictures wearing your hair towel and your mask and all that stuff. Tag us at the Lady Gang using hashtag Lady Box so we can repost your beautiful pictures. And we want to give a quick thanks to our sponsors. To our sponsors.

okay first of all the most important jack bannock thank you for your adorable wine glass you're welcome we have a lady gang exclusive product so thank you to us um elf cosmetics and they gave us this amazing bubble mask that makes you look like you just got so many injections in your face um but you didn't uh nude lip oil which i put on every five seconds baby foot my personal favorite i have the softest feet in the whole world right now muesli which is where you can get all of your beauty needs they gave us this beautiful under eye mask uh knock knock our gratitude journal amazing um amica which is dry shampoo and the dry conditioner spray i know you guys are going to be stocking up on that after you run out of yours because you probably already

used it all because it's great the best kopari uh one of our longtime friends kopari they gave us the sheer coconut oil it is the bomb put it everywhere put it inside of you whatever you want congratulate don't put it inside you uh congratulations on getting your lady box and we are cooking up something great for holiday what's coming healthy um coming up we have a very funny guest who's going to talk about weddings i'm so excited you're listening to the lady gang welcome back um our guest today jamie lee is one of the hottest female comedians in america she was a semi-finalist on last comic standing and she's a regular on girl code she's done stand-up sets on conan john oliver's new york stand-up show and the pete holm show

uh now she's set to host her own show on true tv called 10 things and she has a brand new book which i read that is hilarious called wedelic wedlicious ridiculous ridiculous i mean i read it but i was like i don't know how to say this word it looks like wedelicious ridiculous and it looks at the insanity which is wedding planning so basically becca and her gonna bond over becca's a newly married woman and she totally gets it so welcome to the lady gang jamie hi guys first of all we have to get right to the important stuff working with jerry seinfeld tell us everything oh my god yeah that was actually like my first job in comedy i was i was a writer's assistant on this show that was on nbc for like five minutes called the marriage ref yes i remember

yeah actually i shouldn't say five minutes but i was i only worked on the first season so it fell very quick but um yeah i it was just me and i was like in his office just as like a lowly assistant and uh his office overlooked central park and he had all this like porsche memorabilia on the walls and like it was just very intimidating it was literally just him and like three other legendary comedy writers and me who had been doing comedy for like five seconds how did you get that job yeah it was actually really crazy i i was working at comedy central and i had just quit my day job there and then john mulaney was working i believe at snl at the time and he had heard i had quit my job and then like recommended me for this and it was how cool really cool but also like

very intimidating because I'm not like the fastest typist typer and I think that 90% of that job is just being like very quick at note-taking and I felt a lot of pressure to be a stenographer and I was not did you happen to know that all those years later you would meet the Jack Vanek who watches Seinfeld every night before she goes to bed religiously do you really I have to if I don't then my whole routine to go to bed is off and I can't fall asleep. Oh, I love that. I watch Seinfeld for two hours and then I turn on Curb on my iPad to fall asleep. Oh, nice.

That's so funny because I feel like neither of those shows are relaxing at all. Like they're both just like anxious Jewish people. I know. It's just Larry David's voice just like lulls me to sleep. Can I tell you, he, I'm obsessed with Curb Your Enthusiasm and the other night I was at this stand-up show. I will not tell you, tell a story about how you had sex with Larry David because that's our dream.

Okay. he um okay well i was at the show that's not what happened but i was at the show and it was like a really small show it was actually in um it was in the hollywood improv lab which is this tiny club kind of like it almost feels like a jazz club or something but it's just like bar off of the main room of the hollywood improv and i was on this show and it was like really calm like i was just in the back of the room like looking at my phone not thinking anything and right before i went up i looked to my right and larry david is sitting there with like his hot girlfriend or whoever she is i don't know what we hate this story so we had a hot piece with him i know what

i don't know who she was but she was like like on him you know protege i mean how old was she i would say i'm gonna say 38 okay but hot 38 hot 38 and he was just sitting there and i was like what is he doing here like i just was shocked that anyone would be at the show like i was barely there like i was super checked out until this moment yeah and yeah and then i went up and all i was definitely like hamming it up because i knew he was in the room like i was doing my material like let me work on curve yes and also i like shoehorned in like four jewish jokes that i did not plan on telling because i was like okay i think this will speak to him yeah and then when i got off stage he was there like still with his girlfriend i was like okay well he didn't walk out

during my set so like at least that take a selfie with him i didn't i was gonna like say so to resume i was gonna say something to him how was i well i actually had a whole plan in my mind i was like i'm definitely gonna go up and talk to him um after this next person set so i was sitting in the back kind of like being polite for the next person and then he got up and left during their set and i was like okay well at least that didn't happen i have a question yes why do you think there are so many jewish comedians that's a great question um i think because we just have like a law i mean i don't consider well do i consider myself a jewish comedian i don't know if i do i just feel like i am jewish but i am a comedian also i think it's just you're not identifying

okay yeah um because i think that there are there is like a circuit like a jewish circuit comedy yeah and i'm not in that crew like i'm not like in the cat skills like performing for like i'm not at like the dirty dancing summer where my parents go yeah right right um i think it's just because we have like a lot of like neurotic energy and cynicism so just like that's just like built into our nature i also find that like in our culture people are really good at laughing at tragedy totally and that just trickles down to laughing at everything totally like joking about everything i think that's yeah i think that's that's accurate for sure yeah yeah i think that makes a good comedian for sure who's the biggest dink in comedy dink or dick i love the

word dink oh no it's my new word that's amazing like who's the best like who's the person that you're like oh my god i met oprah and she's amazing dink means best yeah no but dink means bad oh okay like let's start like personally who's the best who's like like is amy schumer cool is like um that christy elia whatever his name is like is he cool or is he like a whore like everyone says that's so funny who's cool who's cool i don't know i feel like everyone's kind of cool just because i feel like if you do if you do stand up you kind of have a bond with the other people who do stand up in this weird way where like even if you don't know each other that well you still kind of get each other over this thing who's a dink is there any dinks i'm trying to

think of a dink she's not gonna throw someone under the bus right now i mean i can't say names i oh wait i do have a fun dink story actually so i'm not gonna name names but i am in a writer's room right now we were talking about this guy who um he's always been really about like branding like his like his personal brand comedian yes like he'll like give out like bumper stickers and like he's very into like schmoozing and networking in this way where he puts that i feel like before anything else he's gonna write it and she's gonna wait see if she no interesting guess though but um is he even a comedian anymore dink she guessed dink yeah well okay so this guy we were like we were talking about him in the writer's room that i'm in right

now and we're like oh my god he's like he's just like he just tries so hard and all this stuff and then on my way over here it was like like the gods were listening i i was about to pull i stopped at a stop sign i was about to go through and then this guy on a bicycle like kind of like went in front of my car and it was him it was the dink and i was like oh my god that's everywhere and he was like being a dink like what are you doing like throwing out bumper stickers like the stop signs don't apply to you like you have to stop someone's gonna hit your bike yeah i was like oh man i know i want to know i mean i know i mean i did make a bumper sticker for the lady gang but whatever that's true actually i did hand it out i was like really into my branding but actually i made that

but i want to know what your favorite stand-up special is to watch um i know exactly what it would be well the one that i'm currently obsessed with is um aren't you embarrassed by sebastian maniscalco i haven't seen it okay he's writing it down oh my god he's like a dream he is super animated and almost like i would say he he's almost like a parody of himself at this point like he knows why he's funny and he's very he does a lot of act outs his some of his jokes are super broad um to the point where you're like like everyone's thought of this stuff but there's something about he's like this italian guy from the midwest and he just he is hot and he just like knows who he is and there's something about like what's his name his name sebastian meniscalco and

he's actually been around for a long time and i feel like just within the last two years he's just kind of like exploded and he plays like huge theaters now and yeah he's you know he's hot when i put in his i start putting his name and the second one is sebastian meniscalco wife creeps are searching is he married can i make out with him after the show he's married to like of this like cool artist yeah a visual artist oh i know who he is let me see let me see okay yeah yeah let me see the picture um he's great never seen him before yeah okay i'm a big fan i know who he is what is the hardest thing about life in hollywood for you oh um probably uh i have a i like struggle with boredom i get bored really easily and i feel like i'm sometimes too anxious

to live in los angeles because it's very chill and so i think that's my biggest thing jamie okay we'll talk about it should we make a list of things we need to do today it's cold what should we make a list of things we need to accomplish i mean fill up fill up my schedule i just need i need like something to do yeah hour to hour nothing more than four empty hours to watch housewives i don't like it i don't like it i have like weird like we should rearrange the are you an only child no okay because i think yeah i am and i sometimes think that's why i get like lonely and bored but i feel like as a as an only child you should like that's your normal like you would think so but instead i'm like i need to like schedule like time with people i'm

an only child and i feel the same way do you yeah oh that's nice yeah because you don't want to day drink a lot yeah that's how you get through it hell yeah it's a little wine i'm like this is somebody it's wine my friend my friend wine yeah what has been your ish moment the moment where you thought i am ish i've made it i'm not a dink i'm ish oh my god not a dink and not a dink am and it or am ish um god i don't even know i feel like anytime something good happens i just am always like but is it good and then i like talk myself out of how i need to try that's me too you guys are kindred sisters we're just jewish yeah i talk yourself out of the happiness i have like two seconds of like killing it and then i'm back to just like but am i killing it hard enough

so it's like a when's your birthday march 15th happy birthday almost okay not even not really almost well i mean it's january it's gonna be march it's coming up i just ripped that away thanks nope take that back away um who the last thing before we play our game i want to ask you is comedy world like bachelor where like it's incestuous and everyone's like hooking up with everyone else in the hot tub and stuff yes i think so i mean there's like two camps there's the camp that's like i will never hook up with a comedian and then there's the camp that's like so what like we work together we like the same stuff we're both into like things being funny why wouldn't we hook up if you date a comedian is it like who can make a funnier joke that feels like

war yeah i think it could well i married a comedian not not a stand-up well he does stand up but i think we we both start like i started in stand-up and he started in sort of like the improv like ucb scene so i feel like we have enough differences to where there's not like this feeling of like competition but i have dated stand-ups and it literally is a nightmare after a When you have sex, do you ever get super passionate or is it always ha-ha? Honestly, I have to, like, make – I have to, like, tell my husband, like, you can't make jokes right now. Like, we have to, like, shut each other down because otherwise it's, like, literally the least sexy thing ever. So you're, like, talking and joking while you're having sex.

Yeah, he'll make jokes sometimes and I'm like, you – like, I was like, I know the inclination because I have it too, but you have to fight it right now because, like, we have to not always be on. Like, that's gross. it's gross if we're naked and making jokes like you have to stop that's amazing i recently got a note on my you did not where's your note what was the note i've never gotten a note sometimes i just like like silliness like leads to it yeah sure like a tickle no like really like ridiculous like not not funny at all but like not serious enough i just i recently got a note that it needs to be more serious my approach interesting like a note from zach yeah how did he give it to you on a paper like a report card like no because you're laying doggy style a plus we were laying seriousness

b minus we were laying there and i was like spread take your pants off like almost like just like you know yeah and he's like could you do that in a more like i don't know serious not like you're totally joking like take your pants off that's cute though chris would be so happy if i initiated sex except take your pants off you'd be like bravo and that's what i said i was like i'm initiating sex you should not care how it's done right thank you yeah you could be pushing them off of you yeah it's true exactly like a normal married couple i have a headache i have a stomach ache i'm on my period anyway on that note we're going to talk about um jamie's book and we're going to play a fun

quiz where you're going to learn a lot about us when we come back great okay what's going on now here's the lady gang and we are back okay so let's talk about the book um it features you on the cover in a wedding dress looking insane what it medically ridiculous it's like ridiculous i know exactly what it is i can't say it that's why i lose all the enemies at least i said your name correctly you did if it's not on a teleprompter she can't i need a pronouncer for everything like i really am like funny ridiculous okay so talk to me about ridiculous and where it came from um well basically i got engaged and i felt like all of the books that were or all the magazines and sites that were available to new brides they were all

just like super serious like everything was just like the dress the day the appetizers like everything is just so blown out of proportion and i was like there's not one resource for new brides that's like somewhat funny and like serious and like talking about how like getting married is actually like really hard and like sometimes your engagement isn't just like a gorgeous like fantasy for a year it can be really hard with like merging families and power struggles and you know just like becoming a solidified couple and i was like there just needs to be a book that's like really funny and honest and so i was like determined to be the one to write it i was like there is a hole in the bookshelves right now and like i must fill it it's the perfect book to

give your girlfriend when she gets engaged or like at her bridal shower that she can like read either pre-wedding or she can like read on her honeymoon and be like, exactly. Yeah. That's kind of, that's kind of what I was going for. I mean, I definitely wrote the book. Like I was, I was actually writing it while I was getting married. So that was a big thing. I was like, I want to make sure I'm capturing all this as it's happening versus like sitting down later to reflect and then write it. So like all the emotions and thoughts in there are like very much from when I was going through it. I feel like I really like try to bottle that weird energy, but, um, yeah, I wrote it like as a bride to brides but then i also realize everyone's been to weddings and if you

have any thoughts about weddings which most people have a ton of opinions on them whether they're favorable or unfavorable like you need you need to be able to talk about them because they are ridiculous like they are literally ridiculous and no one's really addressing them it's always just like put on this tiara like pretend but jamie are they ridiculous they are ridiculous okay i want to say what is one thing you would tell girls like we just had a whole bunch at christmas of our lady and girls get engaged like what is one thing you would tell them that you learned now after the fact about wedding planning let's see one thing oh if i had to pick one thing um probably that you hmm why is it so hard to answer one i guess like

the biggest thing probably would be well two things one is that everyone at your wedding or maybe not everybody but a lot of people at your wedding are like going to talk shit about you like it's just true no matter what you do no matter how perfect it is no matter how much alcohol you have like flowing freely throughout the night no matter how much how easy it is to get food no matter how much food or how delicious the food like people are going to find something they hate because there's just something cathartic about talking shit about weddings and like i think that if you can tell yourself that you'll feel less pressure on yourself because there's just no amount of being detail oriented that is going to stop people from actually talking shit. Like it's

literally impossible. Becca, what did you learn? What's one thing? I mean, that's very true. There were people bitching at my wedding, like to me about the wedding. So I have some high maintenance friends though. Uh, Oh my God. There's so many things. I mean, the other day I was talking to a girl who's getting married and I was like the getting ready process like everybody's like make it perfect and make it like that have these people around you and all have a moment and blah blah like the reality of it is is you're just getting ready yeah and like don't make it so big you know because I was sitting there being like is this right is this environment right what am I feeling and I'm like I'm just getting I mean just hang out be a normal human like

and if you need a moment like i took a moment like you know a minute before i walked down the aisle and i maybe some people need more but that's like really all i needed and i wish that i had just like relaxed and not been so worked up about like who am i inviting to get ready with me and like it was just did you have a bunch of people around no i just had like people stopping by and like you know my mom and my sister and like my sister's kids and i think that like it was almost like people told me to put too much focus when in reality, I just wish that I could have just relaxed and not been worrying. Yeah. Like I'm just here. Right. Cause then it like puts you in this weird headspace that you're like, if this is not the perfect environment, if I'm not feeling

like super great about this, the whole day is shot. Like, yeah, there are a lot of moments throughout. I mean, it's, it is just a normal day in a lot of ways. And I think like there's this pressure for every single moment of the day to be like the best it could ever be and I think that like any day that is a good day there's going to be like really fun moments and there's going to be moments where you're like anxious or tired or bored or happy or like it's just it's going to ebb and flow because that's like the nature of being alive and I think what you were saying is really true like you are supposed to create this environment around you while you're having makeup put on but you have makeup put on you for like three hours and it's forever it's

kind of tedious and like then there's supposed to be this big moment of like getting into your dress and i was like i've tried on my dress like four times prior to this getting into it a fifth time is not it doesn't feel as special as everyone builds it up to be yeah you're like you and your dress are well acquainted at this point you hope so are you taking notes yes are you engaged no okay but you know soon soon um okay let's play a game okay i'm so glad i can pronounce this properly okay this is called wedding bliss okay or ridiculous okay so if it's wedding bliss if we vote yes okay and it's ridiculous if we hate this idea okay is everyone ready yes okay number one princess dress um wedding bliss if it's uh indoor ballroom winter wedding very specific

because if it's outdoors and you have like a foofy tent on it just doesn't go with like chill vineyard wedding bliss if it's vera wang wedding bliss if you're carrie bradshaw in sex in the city just watch that last night oh or whatever too 15 but every other time ridiculous and i really wish people would like not do the pucker satin don't do it it's not good on anyone i don't like that um i will say yeah wedding bus if it's like a winter appropriate wedding right right right it's yeah not for me so a tiara ridiculous absolutely unacceptable deeply unless you're like 15 100 unless it's your quinceanera your what quinceanera yeah that's what i mean quinceanera quinceanera yeah

i think that's the wedding when you're having a quinceanera or ridiculous ridiculous horrid ridiculous like no like no i also say ridiculous unless it's like your birth i mean a tiara is what princess is still in 2017 like what royalty actually still wears to represent being royal like you are not right you're not you're not it's not a fun accessory it's only acceptable if it costs a dollar and came from party city and it's your bachelorette it's not acceptable okay giving out a favor wedding bliss or ridiculous it's just kind of whatever no that's actually what you don't know about me jamie is that i love rules okay wedding bliss because i think it's nice to just like treat your guests as much as you can and

give them as much stuff to take home because they traveled really far for you usually usually sometimes they don't depends on the wedding but becca they spent money to be there i mean i did it but i did when you did what was your favor she gave a little soul society for stoles and like i thought that was a welcome box what did you give isn't that at the same thing no a welcome box is different pita friendly yeah it was a welcome box oh my god a favor is like when you get almonds at the end i literally gave out knots yeah wait what i gave out oh i was a welcome box okay the favor a favor i mean at the end of the night like we brought out like the chicken fingers and fries and that's food skewers but that that's not take it with you and like pack it in your

suitcase home oh people brought it back with them to their rooms give me an example of a gift a favor is like when it has like a little like scott and jack and it's like a little white box and you open it up and has some like pink almonds okay or like a tiny candle right i mean now that you're putting it into perspective it definitely is ridiculous but i i do think that i did give out um like candy coated pecans because my uh one of my bridesmaids it's like her specialty she makes them for like every event okay and i was like okay if you know how to do this and you're like volunteering i'm gonna let you yeah but why do you have to do a welcome gift and a favor i feel like that favor is just bullshit i feel like you do one or the other yeah right i just hate

having junk so anything i'm gonna throw away i hate junk that'll be don't like this okay sex on your wedding night oh ridiculous I find it I think it's I talk about the book I'm very like opinionated I mean I did it but I think the pressure to do it is crazy like I think that like you're gonna have sex with this person for the rest of your life and also like you're tired after your wedding so like if it happens cool but if you don't have the energy don't beat yourself up I don't want to brag but I also think ridiculous okay but I think because I went into it being like we're not making this a thing like if we're tired if we're drunk if we're whatever like it's not happening yeah i had the best wedding night sex no you did not i did but i think it's because

you didn't have we were like whatever yeah and that feels better than like gotta go put my lingerie on like i had i don't even know what i was wearing under my dress like ugly commando like nude underwear like my grandmother spank yeah and like we did it good so it was wedding pressure yeah you relieve the pressure jack um yeah you have sex she's gonna have a bath at her wedding in public yeah like you'll have sex behind the cake yeah gross so wedding bliss okay wedding i said ridiculous and i did not have sex on my wedding night shocker but i did have sex the next day that's good it was like we were so tired we had an early flight for a honeymoon so it was like we got home at two in the morning we got up at six to go on our flight we flew all day and then

we got to the cayman islands and it was like pow pow oh that's good that's good yeah and i also have like 700 people in my house okay um matching bridesmaids dresses uh wedding bliss because it makes it easy for the bride i was in i just want to be clear i was in camp everyone wear what they want um but ultimately i ended up picking the same thing for everybody because i think it just got even more complicated when i was like let's pick a color and then everyone chooses their dress within that and i think it just made it harder so i was at a wedding when people did that and it was like supposed to be like um champagne and blue and then one girl had like a hot pink dress and i was like i don't know if they got the right memo like your color choice

was weird it looks pretty but i think it if you need to relieve stress i think it's easy to just kind of pick something that everyone likes and then just have them buy it but i'm also going to say whether ridiculous because i hate bridesmaids okay being one hate having them the end ditto we use a site called azazi and they do they have every color under the sun and every cut under the on and we did like an empire like tight on top but then like flowing and it really did look nice on everybody i am well aware that everyone could like throw their dresses away the next day for sure they're never gonna wear them again literally never i hate that when they're like and it's so cute you can wear it again no i can't no you can get it hemmed and make it short and wear it to a

cocktail party like no no i will not be doing that you can literally bury it in a grave and no one will know why do you feel so guilty getting rid of them i every time i get rid of them i'm like it's it feels bad like i feel like my friends are like you know they're watching you what lasts longer you take you longer to the wedding like do they stay together long enough for you to or do you throw it out after they break up all the dresses i have they're still together okay oh same first look seeing each other before you walk down the aisle um i actually well i'm gonna say it's ridiculous but i did do it so this is you you're like i hate everything but i did it yeah because i understand i can argue each way and i feel like the first look is great for pictures

and the main thing is um if you are taking some pictures beforehand you miss less of the wedding yeah so i think that's the trade-off i think it's really thrilling to like see each other for the first time walking down the aisle but then do realize that like that time that you weren't spending taking photos is gonna go like cut into the party time ridiculous i say ridiculous i like put up a real fight to not have to do it i really did not want to do it what's the point of doing it because like remember the cocktail hour at my wedding that went on for like a year it's because we were taking photos and if you didn't if we didn't have to like if we saw each other before the wedding then you go straight from the ceremony to like drinks to dinner like

you don't stop the flow. Yeah. And I really, yeah. I mean, I understand that, but like the only thing I was looking forward to for my wedding was like seeing each other for the first time walking down the aisle. Like I could have done that and then had no wedding after that, which I wish I had. Um, and yeah, so that for me was like a big one, but I understand why people don't do it. Okay. Very last one. And this is going to be very Jack Vanek of us wearing red to a wedding. okay by the way i asked becca like 15 times if i could wear red she did i can but hold on let's just can we get with the rules please wait wait wearing red as a guest so they say that you're not allowed to wear white red or black to read because i feel like you're the only person that's

ever said that the internet said no i've seen it ever just white or wedding bliss um wearing red wedding bliss it's fine i unless you know that the bride i guess is wearing red because in some cultures that's common yeah maybe then maybe that's why they rule yeah i think that's the only time but if you know they're wearing your facts back up they're wearing right white i think it's totally acceptable to wear any color other than white everyone knows red is the slutty color everyone knows that the girl in the red dress is like slutty everyone knows no actually i'm going to justify this because i had two friends wear red dresses to my wedding including jack it was a winter wedding oh and they were in gowns yeah i think when i think of like the girl in the

red dress it's like a summer wedding in like a bodycon like tight you know what i mean i never heard that my my brother-in-law's girlfriend wore like what you just said a bodycon red dress and i i never noticed it but yeah i guess you're right yeah what a whore it sends a girl oh my god that's so funny i would never a bodycon short dress to any wedding just sounds or anywhere except if you're on the insider everyday reporting uh entertainment oh my god i love it when i wear a bodycon short dress in the middle of winter hopefully it's strapless with a stiletto with a platform gross um when we come back we are going to have jamie stick around and answer some of our ask the lady gang questions hey ladies ask the lady gang and we are back handing me the torch

kelty yes i am um before we start ask the lady gang if you guys want 20 off jack vanek whoa whoa i can't pronounce anything today either jackvanek.com use code lady gang and get your sass on yeah yo um okay so for this part of the podcast you're gonna help us give some advice to our listeners okay and by advice we mean it can be bad yeah great our advice is 20 good maybe and like 80 horrible oh fun yeah okay yeah okay i can get on board okay so our first question comes from nicole and she says my husband and i have been married for a little over a year i'm 27 and he's 29 we're both strong educated and have success in our careers but it bothers me that he makes more money than i do i can't always splurge on those louboutins and this is where

he usually pipes in and says i got it babe half of me is like damn i want those shoes and the other half is like i want to buy those shoes for myself so lady should i or should i not take the shoes from my husband take take the shoes girl take them shoes wait what i'll take the shoes girl send the shoes to us i literally thought she was going to say like and he makes more money and he won't let me have them yeah then i'd be like oh but he sounds like a pretty good guy he's trying to provide you with your frivolous buyings throw away your sign from the march because i know you went oh my god i love you and get yourself in those louboutins and don't feel badly wait but real quick louboutins are i have a pair and they're uncomfortably uncomfortable get jimmy

choose don't that's true buy louboutins yes they and they scuff immediately one where they won't be read on the bottom they're a scam luba scam but like i just nicole i mean gratitude the attitude should be gratitude okay right right like i have some friends who work their asses off and their husbands do too and the husbands actually make less money and the girls are like why can't i just be with a man who makes more money than me like i know you should be thinking this is the dream yeah he sounds good ali trademark yeah her stand-up where she's pregnant and she's like guys who ever messed it up for women yeah and you want equal rights like i don't want a job i don't want to have to get a job like it's the best i don't want to work no more i'm

that's her whole thing hell yeah it's amazing it's so good i have to listen it's you have to watch that special it's so funny okay our next question comes from anonymous she says my boyfriend recently asked if after we're married if we will add each other's fingerprint to our phones so that you can get in from the lock screen he said that he thinks it's weird for married couples to have locks on their phones i don't have anything to hide from him and i don't care if he uses my phone but this made me feel uncomfortable knowing that he would even feel the need to snoop through my things makes me feel like he doesn't trust me what are your thoughts am i overreacting um also what does it have to do with being married it's not like you like get

married and you like exchange rings and fingerprints like if you're in a relationship yeah it's like if you're in a relationship like and he wants to just talk about like i don't know first of all why does he care i i don't know this whole thing's weird that's weird it's weird um i do know the code to my husband's phone and i could get in there if i wanted to and i have um snoop well when we first started dating i had some real deep-seated like issues so i used to go through his blackberry all the time now he has an iphone it's a little different um one time when i got my new iphone they upgraded from the four letter or four number passcode to the six do you remember when that happened yeah and i had to add two extra numbers and then chris tried to get into my phone and he

couldn't he's like what's happening and he was upset so i feel like he probably does snoop the only thing he's gonna see is like you know i am very famous now and so on my facebook page quite often there are like messages from like people i may have dated in high school being like so proud of you kelts you're so beautiful and then we have like a little chat like that's about it why are you okay that's a whole different story that's all so i think you can have each other's code i scott and i have each other's fingerprints on our phone no you don't of course of course of course they do you also share a toothbrush just sick out you're the grossest do you wash your mouth out with mouthwash and then spit it in his mouth so he can use it do you guys

share toilet paper do you guys share do you nibble up your food and then put it in his mouth like a mama bird fingerprints like that's insane to me i think it's a little much right yeah i think it's a little just get the code i think code is different it's easier to put the fingerprint on it i yeah it's not your phone but then but i also don't i don't think it's a big deal because i would never snoop through his phone and i know he would never snoop through my phone or would he but that's the thing i'm like i wouldn't even think to ask for the fingerprint on my husband's phone because i'm like we don't really i mean we go on each other's phones but our passcode is i mean i'll even i don't care it's it's always all fives like that's for both of us so i'm just like

it's all five make sure you steal jamie's purse at the next game yeah and there's nothing to see i don't know yeah i think that if you like make it an issue if you make it an issue that's when it becomes weird my question for you anonymous is are you a shady mofo who doesn't give him your code yeah or won't let him like when he's like why is this even a conversation yeah are you shady are you shady anonymous there might be something there you know like you need to be might need to be a little more open with your phone like willy-nilly like hand them your phone while you're driving and be like hey will you text that person back my code's five five five five order us a pizza on my dominoes yeah like if you're a weirdo who like won't let him even like

touch your phone or you're scared of him holding it because that other side piece is gonna text you while he's holding it pps how embarrassing it is when your significant other does go through your phone and you're like oh find that picture of like our dog or whatever it's in my camera roll and then they see the like no and then they see the 500 selfies you took to get your good selfie that is the worst because like sometimes i'm like just checking myself out and i'm like you're because i did that through my mom's phone once and i was like it's so embarrassing that my mom is like taking selfie anyway okay next question that is embarrassing that is that's happened to me um okay our last question comes from juliet juliet says kelty mentioned on a

recent episode that she was re-falling in love with her husband so famous what i was hoping she could share some tips on that i still love my husband and want to be in my marriage don't get me wrong but would love to have that can't wait to rush home and see you feeling again let's not get kid ourselves you're not gonna get that can't wait to get home yeah i want to firstly stay i said i was falling in love with my husband again i did not say i was like i can't wait to rush home i think what happened is that like you were talking about about your book everyone expects like you meet you fall in love and like the first three months of falling in love which we've talked about are like the cocaine months we're like everything is amazing you're

so perfect and then real life kicks in and you're like wait am i gonna clean up your socks the rest of my life and chris and i had this like kind of gnarly time right before our wedding where i was like i don't know if you're the person for me like we had like a real meltdown and then we got married and then i spent the whole first year of our marriage being like am i good at this am i gonna succeed at this like am i okay are we doing marriage right like am i good wife and then i got busy at work and like only in year now four have i been able to like sit back and be like wow we have a good relationship you're an incredible man i'm so lucky like how this there's the fear is gone and you kind of like can almost give yourself more to the person than we could in our first year

marriage or like when we're dating so that's really it i also like might be taking like a small dose of prozac so like that also has changed and like that might have something to do with it good night i think it might be like an analogy to the whole like having sex on your wedding night when there's so much pressure in the beginning of a marriage you're just trying so hard to be to have it be successful and to not fail that you're kind of missing out just on your genuine connection together and everyone's like you're newlyweds you're newlyweds period and you're probably fighting like normal and yeah and like i i was in a similar situation like the months leading up to our wedding, I was like, this is so like, this is not fun. Like we were not at our

best. Neither of us were. And like, I think the first year of marriage can just kind of be like finding your footing. And I think the outside expects it to be like, it's so blissful, isn't it? And you're like, is it? I don't know. Is this normal? Like there's just, there's a lot of standards you feel, you feel put on you that you're like, am I upholding these? Yeah. Do you know how I fall in love with my husband? You say, take your pants off. that and not re-fall in love i mean we've been married two months i like haven't fallen out of love yet so don't worry but like when i need to like not even need but like not on purpose but it does make me feel better when i see other girls shitty boyfriends or shitty husbands yeah and i'm

like that's right i got a good one like when you see or like your or your single friend who's just like like desperately searching and just like so sad and lonely and i'm like got him got him and he doesn't suck you know like because some of those guys suck so sometimes i'll like scroll through instagram and like look at like sometimes i'll look at how douchey some girls boyfriends are you know like that's super fun i'm like at least my husband's not trying to sell things on instagram you know like could be worse could be worse um okay well on that note we loved having you you're a very funny lady where can people find all your hahas oh yes uh i'm at the jamie lee on twitter and at really jamie lee on instagram and uh if they want to come see you

do some cons yes you can go to so my website right now um it's wediculousbook.com and that also feeds into my regular tour dates and everything so yeah it's w-e-d-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s book.com and it's a hilarious book and we have very good news we're going to be giving away a copy of jamie's book on our instagram so make sure you're following us at the lady gang make sure you're following us at the lady gang on instagram follow us personally as well it's becca tobin at jack vanek at kelty knight um make sure you go pick up jamie's book it really is hilarious and it's a perfect gift to give like your bestie when she's getting married she will appreciate you so much um guys go to the lady gang.com read our blog subscribe to our newsletter

Send us submissions, write us, ask the Lady Gang questions. And we love you so much. And also, see you next Tuesday. Yay! Join the Lady Gang every Tuesday at iTunes and at podcastone.com. That's podcastone.com. Thanks for listening.