LadyGang - Jamie Lynn Sigler Returns!

Episode Date: May 5, 2026

She's back and she came with EVERYTHING. Jamie-Lynn Sigler returns to the LadyGang to talk about her brand new book! From living openly with MS, to her honest conversation about plastic surgery, to the very exciting topic of dating some of the hottest guys on the planet, Jamie-Lynn is giving us the full story, unfiltered and unforgettable!We have spring deals for YOU!!Nutrafol: Take hair growth off of the to-do list! Visit Nutrafol.com to get 25% off the Fullest Hair Kit (that’s supplements PLUS hair serum duo AND free self-care gifts)!LadyGang is sponsored by BetterHelp! Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/ladygangDirecTV: Get over 60 channels, Disney+, Hulu, and HBO Max ALL IN ONE PACK for $34.99 a month at DirecTV.com/genrepacksProgressive: Looking to save on car insurance? Cruise on over to Progressive.comClean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein powders at CleanSimpleEats.comMacy's: Refresh your spring wardrobe! Remember to shop at Macy.com OR in-store!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek.

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Lady Gang. I'm Becca Tobin here with Jack Vanek and Kelty Knight. Hello. Hi, ladies. Hello. This is an exciting time. Ooh.

Well, it's an exciting time because, do you remember, I'm going to take us back, a million years ago when we did our very first ever live show at the EW Pop Fest. Second live show. Wait, was that the second? No. I think that was the first time we ever did. That was second. Oh, my God. That was our first show.

And Jamie was our guest, and she had beautiful braids in her hair. That's like what I remember from that day. I know. I see that those pictures come up on my timeline every once in a while. And it's just so funny. I was wearing a Naked for Love and Lemons dress. Yeah. Oh, remember that brand?

Do they still, are they still around? Yeah. They have a Western thing out right now for festival season. Oh, fun. Yeah. Remember when we cared about festival season? I know. Wow.

That was like a lifetime ago. Even I'm over it. Oh, God. And you know that's bad. I know. Well. Pigs are flying. It's time for.

Good week. Yes, it is. Bad week. Oh no. Um, I'll go. Go ahead. My bad week is that I am so sick of, uh, doing ads on Instagram. I don't even get ads on Instagram. So lucky you. Here's why. Okay. Instagram is, they have it out for me and everyone else. Yeah. I have done a few Instagram ads for this one brand. That's wonderful. I genuinely use it. I genuinely like it. I feel like what I did on And the ad was like really authentic and organic. When I tell you that when I sent over the,

what's it called? Impressions. Analytics. Analytics. I had a story go up 17 minutes, a slide go up 17 minutes before the actual ad started of something else. And I'll just say the story,

and I'll be really transparent here. The story had 50,000 people see it. The ad went down to 7,000 people. Ouch. 17 minutes difference. And then I did it a second time because I was like, I'm just going to do this

because I feel terrible with that. It had to have been a glitch of some kind. I'll just give you a freebie and I'll go do it the next week. Almost the exact same thing. It's so messed up. It's so messed up. Even if you're not posting an ad,

but like even if I'm trying to be like, here's my art, not even selling it, just showing it. Anything that's supposed to like, that's, I don't know. I did hear that if you put a link on it, it's automatically shoved back in the algorithm because they don't want you to send people. Putting a link there is sending people off of the app. But even when I don't, even if it's like a reel and I'm just like, here's my new painting, it's like no views. Weird. It's very weird. For everybody. That sucks. So I don't know if I'm going to have to sell my

house or what's going to happen. I'm just kidding. Yeah, shit's rough. But I feel terrible. Luckily, we have this podcast that nobody's shadow banning us on and it just goes to everybody's whatever downloads. No, it's so true. I think and I actually did find out this is happening to everybody because I ended up like connecting with our manager and I said, I don't know. I don't know what to do right now. Like I feel like now I'm just stealing money from a brand and like not being able to deliver what it is that we should be able to deliver to them. And she's like, this is happening. Instagram and TikTok and all that is really a bummer right now. So, hey, we're back to being awesome on podcast. Yeah, here we are.

You know, and honestly, like all of us, all the influencers, we had a good for a while, guys. Yeah, we had a good run. It was a really good being overpaid for a long time. for a long time. For sure. And it was amazing. And now it's over. It's over. It's like my TV hosting career. Like you used to be able to be a TV host and only have one job. And now I have nine. It's all over. It's everything. It's done. Everything for everyone. Except maybe art, Jack. I mean, that's a good, this is good. Except for when I post it, it doesn't get any views. True. So who knows? Okay. My good week is just very simple. Obviously, Jamie is one of my best friend. She's coming on the show when your best friend writes a book. And I talked about this

with you, Kelty, a little bit when we touched on your book and we'll get into it more later. But you know, it's always really hard when somebody puts their heart and soul into something and then they send it to you. And then you know that you have to devote so many hours to reading the thing. And more often than not, it's not the best thing you've ever read, right? It's like, great. Well, we're just mere mortals, Becca. We're just mere mortals. You are. I read Jamie's book in two days. I stayed up till two o'clock in the morning one night because I seriously couldn't put it down. And it's even weirder because I know and I've heard some of these stories already. So I should be like not that excited about doing it. But the

thing that's crazy, and I'm going to ask her about this when we talk to her, I'm curious for everybody who reads it. I throughout that book. And then when I finished it, I was like, I feel like inspired to be a better person. Genuinely. She talks a lot about, you know, the overarching theme of the book is, you know, her as Jamie Lynn Sigler. She's a star on TV. She's still a star. She's an icon household name, dated all these hot, famous guys, had all the red carpets, did Maxim, like all the things, the shiny things. And you get a peek behind the curtain and you see so much of her life was crumbling behind all of this beautiful facade. And I think that women, we have a lot of girl on girl, uh, crime because I think people justify bullying and talking shit

about other women is because we think we're punching up. Cause I'm never talking shit about a woman who has it on paper worse than me. Very rarely. It's always the woman who's had, who looks like she has a better career, who looks like she has a better, beautiful house, beautiful clothes, fun life, vacations, all the things. And then you realize when you read this book that that person most likely has their own shit that they're struggling with. So then when you think bad things about that person, you actually have more compassion and like more understanding and empathy for another woman and the shit that we have gone through just as women in general. And that shiny stuff has become such a distraction and such a justification to want to

tear other another woman down so now when I go to have a bad thought about a woman I'm like oh shit I can't even have it it's not there anymore yeah no that's so that's so crazy but this book it's like the whole thing I just can't wait to talk to her about it yay I'm so I will not become a better person but I well your book is the opposite not really well no it's weirdly there are similarities because it's not you're not telling people to be the best the best person but you're telling people to like get to be the best well no be their authentic selves well yeah to be yeah exactly advocate for themselves stand up for themselves that doesn't mean necessarily being an asshole to other people that's true it's a different kind of enlightenment oh yes okay

Jacqueline I'll go so my my good week and bad week are the same thing so we recently had Vanessa Marin the sex sex expert on the podcast now she told us a lot of different things about you know how to rev up your sex life. And unfortunately, my husband, Jared edits our podcast. So he listened to all of the information that she gave. One of the pieces of information was to be having sex way more than you're having sex. And another one was like, she's like, you need to kiss for six seconds and embrace for this and this and that. So Jared's like editing our podcast and he comes out and he's like I just learned a lot and he's like I think we need to be having more sex and I was like god damn and I knew it I knew when she was talking I'm like I know exactly

how Jared's gonna react I know he like comes out of the room he's like there it is there's more sex he's like I think we need to be connected more and and he's like when I want to have sex with you I just want to be connect because you know how she said that yes she's like when they when they're trying to have sex. They just want connection. He's like, I just think we should be connecting more. And I'm like, I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Oh, wait. So that's a good bad week. I mean, it's bad for me because I'm like, I think that we're having quite a lot more. Have you been doing more sex? I'm asking like Borat. No. Are you doing more sex? You be doing sex? Well, he's gone. Number one. So definitely not. But yeah, it was he he was very excited.

out the prospect though. You're so funny. Okay. So my good week is that I also listened to the Vanessa episodes of the podcast and I am having more sex and it like literally reframed my brain. Like I really needed Vanessa to give me a wake up call at my lazy marriage. And the thing that stuck out to me was to just try something new, do something different. And I've been doing that. And honestly, my relationship is better. I'm sorry. I don't want to say like, you know, I, I played like it is better. Her point of having just like a more easy sex. Yeah. Makes it really makes sense where it's like have more quickies, have more things where it doesn't have to be a whole planned out. Yes. Sorry. Nipple tassel four hour extravaganza. God. Because then you're like

dreading it. But if it's something that's like easy, you don't have to think about that. Like I really did resonate with that. Yes. OK. My bad week is did I tell you my Michelle Randolph story yet? No. OK. This is a little old. Sorry. It's not old, but like it's a story. My bad week that I really wanted to tell you. And then I got busy after Oscars and I didn't tell you. But basically I, I was at the, this is Actor Awards. I was at the Actor Awards and Michelle Randolph is amazing. She's in Landman or whatever. And she's in all these shows.

She's kind of having, she's dating Glenn Powell, allegedly, or maybe that's confirmed now. Yeah, I think so. And she's beautiful, right? But she's like having her breakout year. Like this is her breakout moment. And I was at the Actor Awards and it's like the end of the carpet. I've been out there for six hours. I am exhausted.

and she walks by me and the publicist is like, we're not doing press. And I was like, so angry about it. And she keeps walking by and I turned to my producer and I go, she is not famous enough to be saying no. And then the next person in her entourage looks up. It was her mother. Oh no.

And you know, that family's super close. Her sister was on The Bachelorette. Yeah, of course. like i'm such a cunt why can't i just shut my mouth like first of all i believe in what i'm saying like you're in your breakout year and you're a fashionista and you're beautiful and like we're at the actors awards like michelle should be doing press i'm sorry she should be doing more than like just stopping it out like this is her time to go yeah and jennifer lawrence maybe that was good feedback that they took and they're like well i hope that her mom was like

then, and I was like more publicists in Hollywood hating me. I met what I said. I just should have been a little more classy about it. And sometimes I just can't stop myself. So you wanted them to hear. You wanted them to hear. I didn't want her to hear her mom to hear. Oh my God. I maybe wanted the publicist to get the vibe that I was feeling. Somebody to hear you for sure. Okay. On that note, when we come back, Jamie will be here to talk about her life. now back to the lady gang okay gang we have someone in our studio today who has been living out loud in the most beautiful brave and badass way for her whole life and we're so here for it we first fell in love with her as meadow soprano the mob boss's daughter who somehow made us all

want to be her best friend but here's the thing about this woman she has been caring so much more throughout her life than any of us ever knew diagnosed with ms at just 20 years old she spent 15 years hiding it, terrified it would cost her everything that she worked for. And then she's now finally decided to own her whole story. Lately, she's been very busy starring on Grey's Anatomy, playing a doctor with MS, which is huge. She's a mom, a wife, an advocate, and honestly, just someone who makes Becca Tobin's life better and all of ours better and making us feel like it's okay to be a whole complicated, messy human being. And now she's giving us all the behind the seen stories, the fame, the fear, diagnosis, heartbreak, dating tons of hot guys in her new

memoir. And so it is, A Memoir of Acceptance and Hope, which is out May 5th. She turned her secrets into superpower. Please welcome the gorgeous, gracious, the truly unstoppable friend of the Lady Gang, Jamie Lynn Ziegler to the podcast. Welcome back. Thank you. What a beautiful intro. Hello. We'll get back into the hot guys dating. I'll print that and frame it for my kids. Perfect. Thank you so much. We want to talk about the book, but before we started, we're talking about the difference between Kelty and Jamie. So Jamie does not want to know any of her pre-order numbers. She has told her publisher. So why? Why is that? Well, I know myself and I know that I will feel like pressure for an expectation of a performance. And I also truly

feel like I poured my heart and soul into this book. And my reasoning for writing it initially was for myself, for my own healing, for me feeling like I've done so much work. I've done so much soul searching. I have finally held by such a beautiful community in my life where I feel brave enough and have the perspective enough to sort of have this reckoning and go back through my life and so this was initially for me and my own sort of healing and coming off a moment of probably the worst thing I ever went through when my son was really sick a few years ago and then now it's become this thing where it's what I wish for anyone who's reading it that they would have this opportunity for themselves and feel less alone in those moments when you're

on the floor and you're crying and you feel hopeless and you feel helpless and you don't know what is next. And so because I have such an attachment to that, having a performance then and feeling like if it does well or not, like I don't want anything to take away from the preciousness and the pride that I already feel in the book. Does that make sense? So I think like having to think about numbers will like taint that, I feel. That's very beautiful. And I know that Kelty does not feel the same way. Well, OK. On the other side. Yeah. First of all, I'm not saying this is the right way. No, no, no. I think it's it's so beautiful. But at the same time, I would say that the book is exactly what you said.

I mean, it's phenomenal. Like it's phenomenal. And yeah, you know, after I read it, I wrote you a beautiful email. I mean, it's phenomenal. So in my eyes, the book deserves, it's like you're being the Becca Tobin right now of books, which is you're so talented.

It's so good. but you really hate the self-promotion about it. You don't want to go and wear a bright color on a red carpet. You want to wear black. You just want to wear your black boxy suit. And you want to just like, you want just the work to speak for itself. You guys are the same person. The problem is, is that we live in 2026 where the whole world is very loud. And in my eyes, this book deserves all the lists, the awards, the recognition. It deserves to touch everyone. And so for me, I'm like, well, why wouldn't you want to know? Because here's the thing. You might already be in a position where you're based on who you are and that this had a long pre-order and

your popularity. You might already be sitting pretty. And then you could take the pressure off yourself and just be like, oh, cool. I did the work. It's done already. Written in the stars, this is a pretty good number for pre-orders like sit back now if you're not close you could go to your team and say hey I don't feel like this book is where it needs to be at what else can we do so that it gets the recognition it deserves because it does deserve to be yeah I know but then I don't you know you bitches that don't care about like awards and like things like that you're just so strange to me. Well, I also feel like it's a book that will find the hands that it needs to be in, right? And I think that's the beautiful part about books is there, it can be such word

of mouth. It can take you back to like another time where even it's like, what are you reading lately? Oh my God, read this. Or a friend is in a difficult moment and like, you know what? I read this book and I think this would help you. So I think also it's not about the first week. It's about just like what it does beyond and truly the reaction that I have gotten from people like you and the people that I'm closest to that obviously always their opinion matters most or should has been everything I've ever wanted it to be. So I feel like I won already. I feel like I I'm it's the thing I'm most proud of of anything I've ever done. Truly. I mean, aside from like my humans that I help create but like other than that I feel I feel like it it's the only time in

my life work-wise where I'm like I I can put my hands up and feel like I I did it I did it I did exactly what I wanted to do how I wanted to do it my editor literally had to rip it from my hands at a certain point though where she's like you can't touch it anymore because I'm sure you know like you you constantly feel like you can tinker through it but I do feel so satisfied that but I will do the work I you're gonna I promise you I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna wear red one time okay I'm not gonna be in all black although I have a really good black dress for GMA that's perfect GMA is serious like that that's right serious Otharo. Okay. Becca, take it away. Okay. Well, I did open up Good Week, Bad Week that we just

recorded before you got here, where I got like, I think it was 10 pages in. And it's the part, I was sitting on a plane. It's the part where you're talking about, you had this experience as a young child, a young girl who was very naturally gifted. And you were given these lead roles in these big shows. And it wasn't something that you necessarily wanted because you were in a position of being really worried that being in that position, you were going to be disliked or in like all any girl ever wants to be is that in that position, it's almost like so crazy to see the perspective of the girl who's been given the thing when all of us are the girls that are just clawing our ways to try to get the thing. And your perspective was like, I just wanted

to be liked by everybody. I didn't want to give anybody any more reason to dislike me. And it just sets us up for the entire book to really understand that this feeling is so universal. It does not matter if you are on the cover of People Magazine 17 times. It does not matter that you were at the SAG Awards 50 times. It's literally so universal that we just want to be liked and we want to be accepted. And reading the story of you who has been on top of the world, according to all of us and what we've seen and to see the battle that you were going through the entire time, not with just MS, with personal relationships, with the relationship you had with yourself. And it gave me a compassion for every single woman that I have never had in my entire

life. I swear to God, I have always been the girl that's been so scrappy and I've just been trying so hard my whole life to get to the top of the mountain that any girl on the top of it has appeared to have it so easy that I didn't have any compassion for that person. And I had no problem talking shit about that girl. And I had no problem being happy when she failed. And this is me being so honest, but it's crazy to see. I think that you don't have to be an actress to understand this concept, whether it's like the woman in your neighborhood, who's driving the nice car, who has this beautiful family, whose husband's rich, who has this great career. Suddenly you start looking at every single person around you and thinking, I don't know what's going

on, but I can assure you it's not what I'm seeing. And it also takes away a lot of the pressure and comparison or the stress that I have to try to get to that said point or the top of that mountain. Do you think that that beginning part of being the lead so early and having the thing that all the girls wanted was the moment that you became this human? Because you've been like this you've always been the girl that refuses to talk shit you refuse to tear anybody down you refuse to celebrate when somebody falls and it's a really crazy perspective that has never really wavered for you was it that moment um well first of all I think it's very I don't think that you are how you paint yourself to be at like one dimensional like that I mean but I also appreciate

I'm talking about me at my worst, you know? Yeah, but I respect you being very honest and open about that. I think I came out of the womb like this. I think I came in with some ancestral trauma, whatever you want to call it, in my DNA of just being afraid. I came in, I had a lot of guilt as a young girl. My mom is a political refugee from Cuba, had a very difficult upbringing, a lot of trauma in her and my grandmother's life. And I was constantly, my dad grew up very poor and not like, I loved my, they were great grandparents, but weren't necessarily great parents. And, you know, I was constantly reminded

of that, of my privilege and how lucky we were and that our life wasn't like their life. And while I understand the intention that was being put on me and presented to my brothers and I, I, and they are very different than me. I internalize it like, oh my God, I don't deserve this like you only deserve things when you go through hard things so when things then came easy to me where I decided I wanted to sing and dance and act and next thing you know I'm Annie and I'm Dorothy and I'm this like it was so overwhelming because it then my mom was like well listen people are going to be jealous so you have to wear this little evil eye talisman in your underwear to protect you from the evil eyes and God will punish you so the whole world felt so scary to me but

when I was on stage it once I was in the moment it was like where I could be somebody else and like not I so I think that's what attached me to being a young performer was like it was my escape from my own little hell that truly I created for myself because I mean was there a couple little bitches in the theater that probably didn't like me yeah but like it was never it was never traumatic it was never anything that bad I think I was liked I think I did have a lot of friends but I never I never believed it I and I always believed when I left a room everyone was going to talk shit about me and I think that's probably why I'm a little bit like I would never do that to anybody else because I know so much what it's like to feel like if that was happening to you

and how heartbreaking that is, if that makes, if that answers your question. It does. Maybe I just wasn't bullied enough as a child. But I mean, the thing was, I wasn't either. I would bully myself. Right. You know, and then unfortunately, fortunately or unfortunately, like I, at 16 years old, I'm like catapulted onto this like huge show with all these huge people. I'm so green. I don't even know how I showed up to with my hair blown out and makeup my first day of on set like not even thinking that I was special enough to get ready for filming and so like put me then in that arena

like with as vulnerable as I was it was just it was a bad recipe that I'm but I'm also one that I'm sure a lot of people have been through like a lot of people like in my position or that we that we watch in movies or television shows like like you're saying you don't know the vulnerabilities and the insecurities that are being you know layered under the beautiful hair and makeup all the time and it was also a really savage time I mean people are we have the trolls now but it was also a really savage time where people were relentless and rude to your face about how you looked and how you were. And so, um, it was, it was a, it was a messy, bumpy, rough ride for sure. I couldn't believe while reading the book, how much of during the

Sopranos you were like very much struggling, not just post MS diagnosis, just always feeling like you didn't deserve to be there. That's so crazy. Also, I want to say we're like, not one of us is a stranger to plastic surgery in any way and all that stuff. Yeah. The thing that shocked me is that, you know, right at the beginning of the book, Jamie is talking about essentially it was your first season or the pilot. And then you went away, you got hired and then you went away and like developed an eating disorder, got a nose job or something like whatever. And then came back to the series and they were like, what the did Jamie do to her face? And you think you're pursuing this perfection. And they were actually, no, we want like that girl back. Talk us through

that. That was such a revelation because I feel like we know a lot of your story. And the fact that you were like, had you admitted that before? No, I felt such shame and embarrassment around that. I mean, like, it was obvious and like people would speculate and they did at the time. But I was like, so embarrassed. How old were you? You were like 17? I was 16. I was 16 years old. What What was your mom thinking? Well, here's what happened. So, you know, we shot the pilot and I was definitely heavier than I had ever been. I was on birth control for the first time for regular periods, whatever, blah, blah,

blah. I had gained like 10 or 15 pounds. I was perfect for the Italian little chub they wanted on the show at the time. I had my thick Long Island accent. I, you know, I was what looked like a, you know, a chubby Italian girl. and then when I watched the pilot a screening of it I was so taken back by how I didn't look like anyone on any of the shows that I like to watch on television like Beverly Hills 90210 Dawson's Creek I'm like oh my god I'm so fat I'm so ugly like I don't belong this is like and I'm again

I'm a 16 year old girl. Like what? You know, it's a very normal reaction seeing myself on a big screen. I had just done community theater before that. So everything was so small and contained and simple. And in so at the same time, my first boyfriend, who I lost my virginity to, who I was convinced I was going to marry, like broke up with me. And it was a time when everyone started talking about calories and looking at the back of a package and talking about fat free this and fat free that and wanting to look hot in a bikini. So I followed suit and I found that I was really good at losing weight. And I hit it the way I hit everything else. I would wake up at four o'clock in the morning and exercise for two hours before anybody would know in my house. And I would

constantly be counting calories. And next thing you know, I'm like, wow, Jamie looks good. Wow, Sigler looks hot. And I'm like getting all of this, you know, positive feedback until I took it too far. And I was, I think I went down to like 82 pounds. Oh my God. And at that point, it was clearly a problem. And my parents were seeking to get me help. And while I was trying to recover and during this time, then find out Sopranos is going to be a full show. We're going to get picked up, do a season, but I still had a couple of months away. Um, I would, I would beg my parents to still let me do some physical activity. So I would walk. So I wanted to walk around my neighborhood and whenever I would get far enough away I would run because I just wanted

to burn the calories whatever I was still deeply in my eating disorder and in one of my runs I tripped and I fell and I bruised my whole face I cut my whole face I got this cut in my nose and in a panic my mom was like she's about to be on camera like we need to we don't know if this damages let's not go to a regular doctor let's go to a plastic surgeon to check this out oh Oh, and this plastic surgeon says, you know, well, she might have a little scar there. But what I can do is, you know, her nose protrudes downwards a lot. So I can just take a little bit off the tip and no one would know. And and I'm coming off hating how I looked on screen.

I'm like, great. This is great. I'll put some weight back on. My nose will look a little bit better and it will be perfect. My nose did not look a little bit better. It looked completely different. And so, yeah, I did you like it? Did you like the nose? No, no, I didn't like any. I didn't like my body. I didn't like my nose. I didn't like I mean, it's what I've got now. So I got to like you never got it redone. No, I've never touched it since. okay what an unethical doctor I mean he's he's you know he's looking at a 16 year old

Jewish girl from Long Island I'm sure I was like I'll do it I've seen 10 of them that day already right so so yeah I had to walk into my technically my first day of work back to the show I think I had gained 10 pounds so at that point right that's a lot but I'm still 93 94 pounds I'm still a lot smaller than the 130 I was when I shot the pilot whoa a different nose my mom was with me because I was a minor thank god but I almost got fired I almost got replaced I don't blame them I wasn't mad at anyone but myself and I think unfortunately that set the tone for me then for the rest of the series of just like being a problem being nobody really like me I shouldn't be here I always make mistakes because what else happened to me I got Lyme's disease I got married

I got divorced and of course I was going to hide the MS because I'm going to tell them now I have a degenerative disease like it was just unfortunately so clouded and such a tremendously traumatic time for me and then on top of it now I'm dealing with people commenting on my weight on my face on my choices so yeah I mean you'd think being on Sopranos for 10 years would have been the most fun and look there were more there moments of fun absolutely but it was also a really difficult time and I think it's why I'm so close with Rob for me is because I latched on to him so hard during that time because he was my safe place and he was he gave it to me straight he always did, but it was, he accepted me. He loved me. And I, I felt very comforted by his presence

all the time during that unfortunate 10 years. But you talk a lot about how, how you call him Jim. We know him as James Gandolfini, uh, the late great. He, the entire time saw you in this way. and you tell the most beautiful stories of him like looking at you and telling you that you did such a good job. He said, you're good. Like he told you you're good. And like as an actor to be told by a brilliant actor that's older, that's been around to look you in the eye and say you're good is like eight million compliments in one. And he also like advocated for you so much on that set. He did. I think he's, he, it's one of the magical parts about him was, I mean, it was such a, I mean, he's spoken, he spoke openly before his death of how difficult it was to play Tony

Soprano and like how it like literally drove him crazy and ruined his life in very many ways. But he, I was obviously so closed off and he just couldn't ever, like he was respectful, but he knew that I was hiding something all the time so and and all I ever needed was like every once in a while like his giant hand like cupping my face and being like good job girl or like a hand on the shoulder being like I know like he I remember him whispering in my ear and I like I know you're going through something and you're gonna tell me one day and I'm like yeah yeah and I did I had a moment I write about in the book where I had it's when um I think it's season five when he Tony's in a coma and Meadow has this moment where she's calling him back and she's please daddy don't

leave us whatever and for whatever reason after they yell cut it was like a dam was broken and I just because at that point I was going through my divorce nobody knew the MS was starting to really present itself in my life and I just bawled on the floor and everyone kind of left me there because they just were like it's you know an actor having a moment I guess and then when I stayed back when it was like everyone broke for lunch and I was walking down like a lonely hospital hallway And there he was right behind me, pulled me into a room. And that's when I told him I had MS. Oh, my God.

Yeah. So he's always like, he was just magic. Like, he just knew, he just knew the right times and the right ways. He was so respectful of, and never forceful. But, like, you know, I had found out later he was, once I had told him he was donating all the time money to MS research. and like would never need anybody to know that you know what I mean he's just he was the best and I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world that have got to spend the time with him I mean let alone act with him but spend the time with that man and just be around him

um it's the greatest tragedy that we don't have him here anymore it is okay I want to make of such a hard turn that's sorry in true Kelty style because I I would be a miss and I would be not serving the pop culture girlies um and the fantasies you know people like this podcast because jack and i dated their celebrity crush you know 20 years ago let's let's be honest your friend becca tobin is fine but like it's really about the rose vest the lord she does have a good list um the lore i want to i want to talk about the era of jamie lynn sigler where you are literally pouncing the hottest men, not pouncing, bouncing. What is it like to be that bitch that you're like? I was never that bitch. Oh my God. Yeah, you were. But you had only, you had. I'm a witch.

I'll tell you what I am. I'm not a bitch. I'm a witch. Tell us more. I don't, I, I just, I've never given this guy's name. I'm not going to give it, but you can try to figure it out. it was the year 2001 it was when trl was like you know everything i lived on 56 and broadway like seconds away from trl and i remember like being in my new little apartment like i don't know what i was doing in my living room because i didn't have a phone so like you know whatever and trl was on and i see a boy band and they're in new york and they're definitely it was not like cliche it was not the cliche and I looked at one guy and I'm like he's so cute I would like love to meet him that night I go down to a random bar in the west village with a friend and who's the first person

I bump into that night him oh my god together oh I ended up dating for like I don't know three months or so something middle so that was honestly like I think that's like my only like like that's that was at the time like that like he's not top tier now but like back then like whoa like that was like a that was like a get and I kept it quiet and I wish I did it I wish I shouted it from the I feel like I know who this is and I feel like yeah you do on the podcast you have I think oh no that list got you know who this is no Becca this is oh sorry sorry no I know No, she doesn't want to tell. Different band, not that band.

There's only two. She's not going to tell. Oh, I know. Oh, okay. Wow. Okay. Comment below if you think you know. And I found it so fancy.

He like flew me out to LA. I went to the recording session with them one time. I remember being like, like I would have, like two years ago, I was in like my bedroom on Long Island, like, you know, trying to do like cold hearted snake video and look hot and cool, like, tripping around my room, and here I am now in this guy's hotel room. Did he know who you were? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The show, I think, has, was, we were filming our third season at the time.

Oh, so you were that bitch, too. Celebrity couple. Correct. Power couple. Correct. Not quite, though. Then, but by the way, you remember him, like, going in the bathroom of the hotel room, like, screaming at the girlfriend that he had at the time, me not knowing he had, like, a full-blown

girlfriend. Nice. Mm-hmm. Classic. And then me thinking, like, oh, I guess this is what Hollywood is. I will be the side piece. Yeah. Okay.

Fine. Oh, my God. You're listening to The Lady Gang. Okay. I have one last question. I want to know, I am feeling a little bit uneasy about, it's far away, but like my book coming out because there's like a lot of secrets and a lot of stuff. and like I know that I'm wondering if you're feeling uneasy at all about that you don't feel

I'm so relieved because you can never take it back now like all this stuff that you're sharing in this book and there's a lot yeah it's like now that's your story forever like that doesn't freak you out no I'm so relieved to not carry it alone anymore I'm so relieved to not carry the shame that because I think when we keep secrets they turn into shame you know what I mean I think that the longer you keep them, they reform in your subconscious as these negative things. And they're just human. Like, of course I wasn't perfect. I don't have it figured all out now. I'm still going to stumble along. But what I've been able to do in the process is just like have such compassion for my humanness and knowing that I was just always trying to do the best I could.

That's all anybody's trying to do. Unless you're like a straight up asshole who's like, you know, there's there's exceptions to everything but like for the most part that's all we're ever trying to do so yes I am so relieved to have people know that I was on the floor cutting myself as a cry for help because I've held that story alone for so long and I'm like now what that girl can receive the love and be seen the way she deserved to and that's again my wish for anyone reading it is that they can feel seen and give themselves a compassion and love in those moments where you have just felt so unworthy of all of that, you know? And so I feel lighter. I feel more confident and I feel more like even Rob. So Rob just read my book and he called me the other day and he's like,

I feel like you finally know who you are. And I was like, I know, because I think I'm just letting go of all of this stuff that I felt so embarrassed by that I didn't deserve to feel embarrassed by, you know? It's really remarkable to see that, you know, if you were to meet you now as you and the people that have just first met you, like here in Austin, you are this little wise sage. Like you're the person that gives the best advice. You are just so otherworldly. And I think to be able to know that you weren't, you say you were born a certain way, but to also see that there were these, this other woman existed before you came along. And it was the girl who got married young who put up with a lot who got stepped on treated like shit took it and

blamed herself for it the girl like this I think a lot of us could never see if you're in that position in your life right now to be able to look at you and say there's another way to take this and there's another woman to become at the end of this because the marriage that whole piece of it is such a crazy story of just like your age, his age, the things that he, you know, I don't I know that this is like a tough thing. And that was probably the most sensitive thing to write about for you. But to be able to have people see that you this person sitting in front of us were the woman who was accepting that and believing she deserved it. And I think that there are women who are there right now who think I'll just always be this girl. I'll always be this girl that feels

like shit about myself I'll never feel good enough I'll never x y and z do you think there's a moment where that shifted for you like I I want to know because I think the whole book kind of takes us through but yeah I mean it wasn't overnight I think it's like I really I really tried to be conscious of taking you on the journey of the kind of like curiosity I had and willingness at the bottom to be like, I can't stay here. And that there, it was a lot of work. It was a lot of years. It was a lot of trial and error. There were times where I'm like, I got it. I'm in a groove and nope, I'm not, you know, like, whoops, nevermind. But I think what the main overall thing that sort of carried me through to whoever I am today is just acceptance and like accepting those

parts of me accepting and working with that that those insecurities working with this voice like what it has allowed me to do is connect to others see others have compassion and empathy for others and then be able to feel like oh this is also kind like now this advocacy and this way of speaking is kind of also my superpower because I see you I get it I know that voice I know that girl she still lives in here. She's just been given attention and love and care. And so it's not so much that I've changed. I think it's more that I've softened around who I am and just had more acceptance around this voice and knowing that, and for anyone, like if you hear a voice, it's not you. There is a, it's separate from you. And there's a way where you can allow it to be there. And

there's a way where you can allow it to say, I'm not listening to you right now, but it takes work and there's a million different ways to get there. You know, it's, I don't have the specific roadmap. Mine, like I said, was very messy. And I think only up until two years ago, because people used to ask me like, do you want to write a book? You want to write a book? And I would always have like a hard no, like absolutely not. It's not what I'm interested in. I even had a psychic once tell me like, nothing will change for you in your life until you write a book. And I was like, you tell me if I'm going to heal from MS and tell me if I'm going to be a TV star again. Like I, it's like all I wanted to know. And I was so mad. And when I was doing press for the podcast, I have messy

and I was speaking openly. My literary agent at my agency called me and was like, Hey, listen, I'm listening to your interviews. You really sound ready to go certain places. Do you think you'd like to write a book. And I was like, yes. Like it was like this full body yes. But I was like, wait, let me see. So that night I put my kids to bed. I smoked a joint. I got in front of my laptop and this letter to my younger self poured out of me. And it was like it all of a sudden I knew what the book was going to be. And it was basically like nothing about your life is what you envisioned but what if I told you that you're a number one show in the world you got diagnosed with MS you went through a divorce where a bunch of money was gone like this this this this

and you're in a disabled body you walk with a cane but you're the happiest and most confident you've ever been like basically like I've got you you've got this and you love yourself finally and you believe in yourself finally. And so that moment allowed me to know what the book and the message and the sort of intention behind writing a memoir would be. It wasn't because I needed attention. It was because I know that there's a million other women like me that have felt this way about themselves and been in these moments. And it then it was just kind of like it just hit the ground running. It was, it was one of the more effortless things in my life. And I think sometimes, you know, working hard gets things absolutely. And I've, I've had results from that,

but there's also something to said when things just line up really perfectly and you just kind of go with that flow. And that's what this whole book process was for me was just really going with the flow. Well, and I, I think just as you're talking, I think that with, with having a child almost dying. It was a rebirth for another part of you. And that part in the book is really stunning. Just talking us through what you're going through and then also where that led you and the realizations that you made about your entire life in those precious moments of not knowing whether your son was going to make it. Yeah. You know, I mean, you know, we were all we were all together on this like annual 4th of July trip that we do at our girlfriend Joanna's

house and I was really trying to like I'm sitting with my laptop being like all right I'm writing this book like what's my way in like what's the how am I starting this like how am I grabbing the audience like where do I begin because I was like I want to write this myself I've got this I'm doing this and I truly was like I don't know what is going to happen and then two weeks later my son gets violently ill and is in the hospital and, you know, almost died. And that whole experience and then coming out of it, it did. It almost solidified and like locked in the full perspective that I needed to write the book. And so understanding why like the book begins and ends with Bo, who is my soulmate, who literally is like my clone in every which way,

giving me the lessons and giving me the wisdom from, you know, imagine like your 10-year-old kid, like literally telling you everything that you have been working hard to believe and know and trust about the world, God, the universe, whatever. It was like all the lessons I was going to talk about learning through the book. Now my kid is being like, this is real. this is this is true. This is who you are. He almost like gave me the last puzzle piece that I needed to be able to write the book was that experience, which is great. And everything and I say everything that I've been through in my life, I know made me the woman that I needed to be also in that moment, the mom that he needed to, you know, get him through. Well, the book is

amazing. Please, even though Jamie doesn't care, I do care. I care. It's out May 5th. And so it is a memoir of acceptance and hope is out now. You can get it wherever you get your books, but you know, we love bookshop.org because that supports our favorite indie booksellers. And we will be screaming from the rooftop. We're so proud of you. God, we've been in the lady gang together now for over a decade. So congratulations. I know. And thanks for taking such good care of our Becca. And we will see you next Tuesday. Lady Gang is hosted and produced by Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek with social media support from Kali Carrera, audio and video editing from Jared Monaco, and additional support from Steve Delameter and Podcast One.

Thank you.