LadyGang - Jenny Mollen

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

Actress, NYT Bestselling author, and podcaster, Jenny Mollen is stopping by as the first in-person guest in two years and quite possibly the LadyGangs 4th member. And while she didn’t bring the ladies a Dictator Lunch, she’s bringing the humor and revealing the success behind her and Jason Biggs' marriage and how she’s achieved so much success in her career. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Freshly: Get $80 off your first FOUR orders when you go to Freshly.com/lady  Brooklinen: Use code "LADY20" for $20 off your purchase of $100+ at Brooklinen.com  Sambucol: Get 15% off your next order of $9.99 or more at SambucolUSA.com and use code "LADY" Prose: Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order at Prose.com/ladygang  Coors Light: Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Drizly or Instacart by going to coorslight.com/lady  Squarespace: Go to SquareSpace.com/lady for a free trial, and use code "LADY" to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain! Redecor: Download Redecor for FREE on the App Store or Google Play Store!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As you know, ladies give back and this year we have partnered with Children's Hospital Los Angeles Make March Matter. It's a special month-long fundraising campaign that takes place right in our neighborhood to support Children's Hospital Los Angeles, which is a non-profit pediatric hospital that's ranked among the top five in the nation. More children receive care from Children's Hospital LA than anywhere else in our region and we need to help them make sure they can provide all their patients with the same world-class medical care. That is why for the entire month of March. The Lady Gang is raising awareness by donating 20% of our proceeds from our store to the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. So visit shop.theladygang.com to give

back. And we have some super cute items that are up to 60% off right now in our warehouse sale. And so make March matter with us. Thank you. Today's episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by Samba Call. So let's talk about health for a minute because there's nothing more important than taking care of yourself. I think that we can all agree, you know, as we get older and we feel our body's kind of crumbling into oblivion that we really need to take care of our bodies. If you're not feeling your best, you just can't be your best in all aspects of your life. So Sambacol helps you feel your best by supporting your immune system with premium black elderberry. Sambacol is the original black elderberry brand. So I know that I'm getting the immune support that I can

really trust. So I take one or two Sambacol gummies every morning to help make sure that I can keep doing what I need to do that day. And I love the gummies because they are delicious. They're like my little morning treat, I take them with my coffee to get my day started off right. So you can help support your entire family's immune system with Sambacol. Get 15% off your next order of $9.99 or more at SambacolUSA.com and use code LADY. That's 15% off your next order of $9.99 or more with code LADY at SambacolUSA.com. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Lady Gang.

I am Becca Tobin here with Jack Vanek and Kelty Knight and someone that we've been stalking for many, many, many years. It's like King Jesus is here. And in the flesh. We never record in person. We're always Zooming with people. We haven't had a guest in person since before COVID. Yep, you're our first. guys i'm so flattered honestly you're so cute in real life it's like actually annoying with your denim on denim okay do we want to introduce her yeah so you all follow her already

on instagram um so we don't normally have good week bad week with the guests but we felt like we can't let it's like the funniest person on final right we can't give her a guest star when she's deserving of a series reg. She's a series regular. That's right. So it's time for... Good week. Yes, it is.

Bad week. Oh, no. I think I'm going to just, like, break the ice. Okay, great. Because I think it's appropriate. Yes. And now that... Okay.

I have been trying to take on a lot of Kelty's ways. Like, I wanted to adopt a lot of your, you know, go get them attitude and a little bit of the shameless stuff that she does in her life. And, um, she's always saying to me, like, if I ha if I were you, if I could take over your body, if I could have done that, you would have been Jennifer Lawrence. I believe it. Yeah. But I just don't, I can't operate like that. And so I did something recently. I was channeling Kelty. Great. And this has to do with Jenny. jenny you wrote your own wikipedia page

of course okay are you on wikipedia we've contributed obviously i'm like you missed something you've gone and edited of course you ever like you should probably not have your wikipedia i don't have it back in the day like the only it's all you have wikipedia was all on you like nobody added to it you had to like do you check to make sure nobody's like talking shit in there sometimes people are like colleen is a stripper and i was like she was on a topless show okay i want to die okay so jenny posted on november 16th her article from what was this from what is this hollywood hollywood reporter jenny mullen's city of likes to be developed as tv series by nacelle nacelle and sony pictures sony you know them no big deal you're familiar

so i was like my normal thing as me would be a double click and then something like congratulations this is incredible like so deserved whatever but then i was like what would kelty do what would kelty do and i did something that i went back to this four times and almost deleted my own comment, but you can't. Yes, you can. You can? On Instagram? Yeah.

Yeah, that trash button, baby. I just read it and I'm already sweating. Okay. Oh my God, I love you. I'm so upset. I love you. Okay. And Allie back here, my friend Allie is dying.

She's just giggling. She's like the least impressed with me of anyone on earth. So even hearing this, she's like, what is this bullshit? No, I want to set the scene. Allie is sitting in a Sherpa restoration hardware poof. Callie has taken her on as the pride mom and she's wearing a Skims long

cardigan coat in the same poof as the restoration poof. She belongs here. She's never leaving. Allie, you're here forever. Welcome to your new home. Callie has both paws on thighs being like and I'm regal as f***. It is incredible. Okay, Becca, did you find the

comment? Yeah, it's here. It says, fine, comma, I'll do it. With the emoji of the hard eyes oh my god amazing who are you that's so gross i love it this sounds like the text that i used to send when i would take an ambien and i'd wake up the next morning being like oh my god what have i done unsend that text i felt like i needed to send a handwritten apology are you kidding to be like i am so sorry that i am what i think i think i read it and

thought it that is so funny honestly i thought it was gonna be way worse than that yeah i did think it was gonna be someone like myself that it can't get worse than that but what i see as a as a thing in both of you is that you've been beat the up yes by the audition process different ways of dealing with it no but i but i'm the shelter dog who cowers in the corner and shakes and you're the one that bites people like kids you don't like me i'll show you how much you don't like me i like maul my new owner hey becca i'm proud of you though honestly i'm proud of you that is amazing let me tell you something when her becca she's here you didn't scare her away yeah you didn't scare away when she was doing turner and hooch on disney and she was doing all this

national press she was staying at my house because she'd like literally come from anyway i had her in the corner i like set up the lights i was like you look amazing you need a like a pussy bow top like you're so respectable you're an actress and i she was like i don't know if i can do this and i'm like in a fucking amazon leopard baby doll dress and my like slippers and i'm like you're amazing you've got this you're the bitch amazing psycho she's psychotic becca's so talented she doesn't even know okay so that was my bad week oh that was your bad week yeah i mean obviously it was an admission um my good week is obviously that jenny's here but also i blacked out last night i know i saw it still looks so good oh i mean i have like teenage acne um i browned out

because i have vague memories of of the night so i went to dinner with my friend taylor who just recently had a newborn baby and it was like his first dad night out and we were drinking chartreuse which is like the most disgusting liqueur you could ever imagine but i am like i am a sheep and i just did it what is chartreuse what is it from sounds like apparently it was like something that monks deliver is it from a grape i don't know it tasted like it could have been okay um but we woke up this morning and i just remembered how like making videos like videos of the night whatever when we got back to the hotel room come here and so i had a video this morning in my phone of my friend taylor falling oh my god what is your voice yeah wait is he a dancer yeah we we

met each other doing high school musical oh wait hold on this is too long i will put this on instagram for people to see but oh my god oh my god that's amazing wow honestly i'm jealous i was kind of pissed when you left me to go stay at a hotel but now i feel like you had fun so i had a great time there's this pic there's a video of me dancing and then dropping into a jazz split and like falling on the floor and i really i didn't have any shame when like i didn't have that like wake up at 6 a.m and that feeling that you fucked up or you said something wrong or you like i anxiety anxiety yeah and i didn't have any and i think it's the first time in a decade that i didn't have anxiety from drinking it might be like a turning point does it mean i can do it

again yeah really get get after it yeah welcome to the dark side welcome to the dark side okay i'll go next my good week i was recently at the foot doctor because i'm an elder and i was sitting at dr levine's office and i looked up at his are you filming yourself right now no i'm looking i how dare you i would never i'm looking at his wall of products and i see urea cream and i was like, huh. So I'm waiting for it to come in. I pull it down and it's like urea. And then I Google what urea is and it's urine. And I feel like I have been telling people since 2003, when I was a rocket, that if you get a fucking infection or a blister on your foot, all you need to do is pee on yourself and let it dry and sleep in it overnight. And that blister will be gone. And

And now Dr. Levine is selling a urine cream for $69. I don't know. Anyone's. I thought you were going to. It's his urine. And I said to him, it's Adam Levine's urine. That wouldn't heal anything. That would literally like get you more infected.

It'd be like, man, pop song, here we go. No, I thought you were going to say it was the cream that I just discovered, which is a cream that you can get on, you know, that website like FaceRx, rx where you can get like mucin mucili is that like a snail hydrol cream no it's to bleach your privates i and i might do it because i seems like something you shouldn't do at your own house okay my bad week um i was recently um since my career is like the hottest it's ever been uh hosting a holiday dog series you were hosting a holiday dog series this just happened you guys have already seen it it was a big deal on the cw it was a series about great dogs

my career is so good it's really i'm really thriving anyway so i'm i'm at i'm on the beach i'm doing my stand-ups about amazing dogs and i'm already feeling like what the am i doing my career like i'm turning 40 i'm officially dead like i'm just gonna do dog shows for the rest of my life this is awful and i felt like okay well at least like everyone on the beach is like what's happening over there because they have like the big scrimmy things and like they're blocking the light for me or whatever and the director's like huh and he's looking at me and he's looking he's looking at me he walks up to me and he literally went on the top of my head and plucked out a gray hair no that was ruining the shot oh no and i was like oh and he's like yeah it just stands up and

you can really see it. And I was like, that's rude. Anyway. Oh my God. I wanted everyone to know that I'm old. Okay. Jack. Okay. So my career has never been hotter. You're welcome. Year of the dog. You know what? I think the dog show suits you. You know what? You know, what else suits me hosting the golden globes. So my good week is, and this is embarrassing because i just did a good week recently about a spray tan i'm a little bit addicted to spray tans it's her one thing we don't like about her as i am so ghostly white and it makes me very insecure so anytime i'm doing anything i'm like i need a spray tan so i was doing a photo shoot recently it was on a monday and i needed a spray tan on a sunday my girl only works tuesday to

thursday of course so i was texting her on the side because we're friends we text whatever yeah you see her twice a week you should be friends and i texted her i was like girl this is an emergency i need to get spray tanned this weekend she's like well i'm going to malibu wines on sunday so i don't know how much i'll be drinking she texts me at like 7 p.m she's like i'm blacked out drunk but i will spray tan you if you come and pick me up from my house and like drive me to the spray tan place and i was like i'm desperate this sounds like something jenny might get herself yeah i could see myself i was like is this worth it absolutely yes yes so i go and i pick my girl up from her house i drive to the spray tan salon she opens up the door she is

up oh my god gives me a full spray tan i'm really really nervous about it because i'm like i she is waving the thing around she's going close and then far i woke up the next morning with like the best spray tint of my entire life you're a bronze goddess she texted me she's like how is it i was like honestly and she didn't make me pay for it because she's like i'm not gonna make you pay for it when i'm blacked out i would have made you pay double yeah 100 she's specialty she offered me a beer or a drink of beers while she was tanning me it was amazing good for you i just don't know why like lady gang is now in its seventh year yeah on year one becca told us about the l'oreal sun list that you can get for 7.99 at cbs like i don't understand why you never got on

that it's not the same it is absolutely the same it doesn't get the pigment she prefers which is hold on let me just give you a visual i'm usually not that bad hold on it's only okay what's your good week that's my good week okay what's your best spray tan i've ever had okay my bad week is i was recently coming back from the desert hot driving back from like palm springs area and i go to stop at a gas station we're filling up are you okay no i'm just saying like That's what you would do. That's what you would do. You have to pee.

I stopped at a, we're stopping at a gas station. We're like getting gas. So the car in front of us was this old, was this old like Cadillac kind of a car or whatever. This guy comes out. He opens up the trunk of his car. Dead body. Pulls out a glass jar, a massive glass jar. Pickles.

Full of hard boiled eggs. Out of his trunk? And then takes a hard boiled egg. I would do that. pops it in his mouth a warm puts the jar it was hot as in the desert puts the jar of the hot hard boiled eggs back in his trunk jack when you need protein you need protein i would do that i will eat i do not discriminate against food that's temperatures nothing really no you would eat a hot hard desert egg yeah yeah for sure i when i do them at my house sometimes i don't wait for

them to cool but this is a cool that's gotten hot it's probably not that's true that's true okay and re-hit it okay so for the second time ever in lady gang history we've invited one of our guests to good week bad week here we go okay don't disappoint so good week i feel like was last night it was pretty amazing i have i do this elf thing with my kids it's not by choice somebody gifted me these elves like an elf on a shelf an elf on a shelf and now it's just i can't stop it and my son expects the elves nightly to perform for him uh so i you know knew i was leaving town and i'm very competitive with jason just on every level i love it not just career wise also as as parents were very competitive and so i knew that with me leaving town i was

leaving him with elf on a shelf duties yeah so i'm like this last night of me here as elf on a shelf has to be so far superior to the elf on a shelf that he's about to do sure that i'm gonna go out of my way to make this magical yeah so i'm wandering through union square and i come upon this like chocolatier who's in the like vionox like the christmas market that's in union square and he's making like chocolate molds of like nuts and bolts and screws and whatever so i'm like oh chocolate nuts and bolts interesting i'm like i'll take two then i go straight to the hardware store to match the chocolate bolts to real nuts and bolts then i hide the chocolate bolts right and go home to my four-year-old and i'm like oh look what i found today these little nuts and bolts

i'm like do you want them and he's playing with them he thinks they're cool and i'm like oh you should give them to the elves just see if they'll do anything funny with them then my seven-year-old comes home and i blame the four-year-old i'm like lazlo wants to see if the elves will do anything to his nuts and bolts tonight so leave those next to the elves kids go to sleep they wake up in the morning they've become chocolate wow good luck wow and i'm out that's incredible that is the extreme i will go to to one up my husband i love it honestly it's incredible what the kids do when they were you were they awake when you oh yeah oh i made sure of it are you feeling like you want to go check uh their minds were blown which is amazing i was so happy but now you really jason

Cause they're going to be like, Hey dad, we're going to leave this out and see if they turn this. I can't wait. Oh my God. Amazing. I can't wait for tonight guys. I'm literally giddy. First of all, this is the longest episode of Lady Gang.

We have got to go. When we come back more with Jenny. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by Freshly. It is so hard to find a fast pre-cooked meal that is not frozen solid or, you know, highly processed. And that is why we love Freshly. No one wants to spend an hour cooking dinner after a rough day, a crazy commute. You get home, maybe your kids are super hungry, your husband's hungry, you're hungry.

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That's P-R-O-S-E.com slash Lady Gang for your free in-depth hair care consultation and 15% off. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by Squarespace. I absolutely love Squarespace. It is HowWeRunTheLadyGang.com. What's so cool is it really can help you build and grow your business online. So not only is it super easy, like Instagram filter easy to put together a beautiful, beautiful

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i am and live fast die hot both incredible reads she's also the author of city of likes which isn't even out yet and is already being turned into a damn tv series she writes a stand-in column for Parents magazine and is a reoccurring co-host on The Wendy Williams Show and regularly appears on GMA, The Today Show, and Rachel Ray. She's also an actress. She's appeared in Wilfred, Suits, this is a good story, CSI New York, Crash, the WB series

Angel, and she played a reoccurring character in the third season of HBO's Girls. And now she's joining the podcast game. The Third Wheel podcast launches in January on Podcast One. Welcome to our dysfunctional family, baby. She's hot. She drove all the way to the valley from Encino. And I confirm

that she... Encino is the valley. I know, isn't that right next to each other yeah live your life let me continue and i can confirm she did not bring me one of her fancy lunch boxes from her dictator lunches instagram handle what the please welcome to the lady gang jenny mullen guys you've done a lot in your life damn are you exhausted i'm so tired guys i'm hanging on by a thread i mean it's like just when you're like you know what i think i'll write a novel and then turn it into a tv show but also launch a podcast and make a babble cheese with googly eyes for my child what's that babble oh my god i don't know what you're trying to say little baby bell cheese is like the red and she takes off the middle so

it has a mouth and then she puts googly eyes it's insanity and i love that you did that you do and did call your son the dictator he is the dictator and now that i've sort of i'm trying to do some more stuff with dictator lunches everybody keeps saying like are you sure for a brand the the word dictator isn't off-putting i'm like well it's just the truth and moms understand that moms today get it yeah yeah well i know what everyone's wondering if they follow you on instagram i wondered for so many years what your kids looked like because you cover their faces i was like is she covering their faces because they're unattractive kids i feel like jenny would be somebody to know if her kids were not attractive enough for the gram so that was my theory that was my theory for a little bit

but then something crazy happened i was leaving a hotel downtown i was in new york i think i was in soho and at this point we were only instagram like acquaintances and um and then i i walk out and i i see her and like a psychopath and i never do this i was like jenny oh my god and she turns so gross i'm stalker but i didn't feel weird about it because we share tom link in common mutual friend okay okay and so you know who she is so it's not we like hate the same people so yeah and it's the same people they hate too we're all yeah yeah we're connected yeah you can't be in a podcast unless you hate the same people yeah yeah it would it would implode yeah we would have already broken up seven years into it you have to have all the same enemies yeah and know where

the bodies are buried it's true genius so so with jenny is her son and i was like you're like your and i'm not kidding you're cute i was like that's one of the most beautiful children i've ever seen in my life and i was like why would you not show yeah you have like a really i don't i haven't seen the other one to show him so cute he's so cute is that why you're scared well i honestly people won't believe your brand will be off they won't believe your life is hard they won't believe in the dictatorship but no you know it honestly comes from i think being a child of the 80s and watching too many after school specials and i i have so much anxiety in general i'm afraid for people to see my kid and then steal it yeah yes and also i feel like i don't want him to know that

instagram exists like he doesn't he's said the word instagram now now that he's in second grade a couple times and i'm like what what are you talking and i just play dumb i don't know what he's talking about but you know i don't want him to be at the park in new york city and somebody to be like oh that's that's sid that's jenny's kid right that scares that's well that's me terrifying that's why my sister yeah my sister was saying she's like i was so weirded out there's a blogger mommy blogger that she follows and she was walking down the street saw a nanny with a child and she knew that that was the child of this blogger and she was like that would be so easy for someone to just kidnap them scares me to death yeah yeah and i do i really don't understand it

baffles my mind while you know some of these like way higher profile people like are just advertising their kids all the time it's crazy it scares me and i also don't want him to come to me one day and be like mom why are there like 60 000 googleable nudes of me or for him to like grow up and be like you know what this really fucked me up thank you for plastering me on instagram yeah you're like them up for another reason yeah like from your own 100 from your parenting like the rest of us 90s children not from instagram i still exploit him for my comedy and my writing but i really don't want to show his face yeah i love it that's fair both of them but they're so cute but i'll show you pictures of them before yeah oh my gosh so take me so i've

read both of your books you're so great do you want to know something actually i have to tell you guys sometimes i'll send jason pictures screen grabs and i'll like put like brad pitt or somebody else in like a two frame or, and then it'll be like Sid or Laszlo on the other side to see, to be like, look at this genetics. Look at the DNA. Can you even, are you the father? Yeah. I do appreciate that.

Unbelievable. Really? You're so trying to find a picture of your dad. I feel like you post him a lot. There was one that was like extra, extra steamy. Oh yeah. He was probably topless. He never wears clothes.

Is he LA? is he european oh an arizona man loves the sun he's like a sports he's a mcconaughey he's actually afraid of the sun he lathers in sunscreen that's probably why he's so hot but like yeah so he he has perfect you know ashkenazi like porcelain skin and um and he has like abs at 76 gross that's insane this isn't a shirtless one let me see i need a shirtless okay well very cute full head of brown hair. So I, I, I'm going to, uh, I want to quote you back yourself, uh, that I loved from your book. I like you just the way I am. And I had it. So when I knew you were coming on, I went into my Kindle and I went into my highlighted passages from your books, like

things that spoke to me. And then I'm so embarrassed that this is what spoke to me, but this is the best paragraph that I've ever heard. And I wish we could be this cool. Okay. she says in this book i need everyone to love me my feelings of inadequacy and lack of parental attachment have made me one of those six sick bitches who can't tolerate being ignored my parents say all the right things when they're pretending to listen to me but the truth is they are more like cats they accidentally had a litter of kittens and then emotionally moved on to whatever ball of yarn rolled past their line of sight when self-obsessed people breed they make empty people like me who spend the rest of their time on earth trying to gain the love and approval

they didn't get as children didn't get as children this doesn't excuse my behavior it's just to say if my parents had actually noticed me i probably wouldn't care so much about whether everyone else on the planet adored me unfortunately i'm a bottomless pit of need that actually that actually is miss kelty that is her oh my god take me to the church jenny empty children empty that is so funny like thank god for you because you identify with that that really but this is like no one in hollywood or really in the whole world wants to admit this because even when you are that person who's like i need the attention i need the thing you're supposed to downplay it and act like you're cool like you're like i'm just posting this picture because i just want you to know what's

going on with me like you know it's just oh it's just being like here's all my childhood trauma and so has there ever been a time where you're like uh-oh too much i've shared too much of me the world now owns my innermost thoughts and i can't pull it back yes yeah for sure there and it's mostly stuff with the kids i mean i think there have been times and now i think it's different when i first started out and i was just tweeting into oblivion it didn't feel like there were consequences for my actions one twitter it was a different world you could say anything and actually sure the more sort of brazen you were the more you were rewarded for it 100 as a woman especially um and so i would just say like fucking anything you know and people even girlfriends

around me would you know bitch about stuff and i'd be like oh there's a tweet in that you know and just like shoot it off because nobody was listening and then all of a sudden i felt like there was this shift where i couldn't get away with as much yeah and it did start to sort of take a toll when um you know after i i feel like after well first i was like i got in so much trouble because i was posting about you know sid's birth and you know what that was that whole journey now everybody does it but at the time it was like on gma it's like oversharing can you believe yourself she just showed herself getting an epidural you know what i mean but back then And so then my response, because I was like indignant about it and also in the throes

of my postpartum haze, I was like, I posted a picture of my placenta, which was like the most grotesque thing you'd ever seen. And I remember writing, I don't know if this is oversharing, but I think my placenta looks really young and hot in this photo. And it was like, just like Howie Mandel, who was actually my doctor's name, holding this like bloody blob of a placenta. And yeah, so like at that point I was like... them i'm gonna say whatever i want yeah but then um when real things started to happen

with the kids you know there have been times where i'm like i regret putting that out there i regret that like when you google me you can find out that i dropped sid on his head you know like that really kills me because it's so i have so much guilt about it we were playing and he fell in the kitchen and he fractured his skull and it was it was a really scary three two and a half days for me um and like so traumatic and at the time i'm like i want to share this because i feel like if i only share the good things that i'm lying to people and i want other moms to know that like i am going through this shit you might be too yeah um but for me it like took i don't know i just hate seeing it so there are things now where i'm like i don't want to share that

but i'll tell you actually fun stuff okay weird stuff but thank god you are sharing because i mean it's like i'm so sorry for you that that sucks and that like that you have to relive that trauma every time you're like what did my picture look like on the red carpet tonight you know like that sucks but also like thank god for people like you you know like because no because it is happening to everybody and nobody's talking about it like the amount of people having kids and like f***ing them up somehow and being like they have to act like they're not you can't tell your parents the grandmas and grandpas will be mad your friends are gonna everyone's judging you. So I love that for you. Yeah, it's true. I had a miscarriage during the quarantine. Nobody

knows that. I just, but like, I didn't care. I mean, I know that sounds terrible, but I have two healthy kids and it was this thing called a blighted ovum where there's like nothing in the sack. So I was just like a psychopath and nauseous for maybe, I don't know, a month. And then we had to fly back and we had to like go you know do i had to have a dnc during the pandemic in new york which was gnarly but i'm like i don't need to share you know there were so many people at the time sharing these crazy harrowing stories of miscarriage and losing actual babies and i'm like i don't need to like put that in the world it just doesn't even i think that's the thing though it's like i feel like we're kind of going back into like the middle where everybody felt like

they had to share every part of their life but like you don't have to you can choose to decide what you want to put out there and whatever it is, is fine because people will connect with it, but it's also nobody's right. Or like, yeah, not everybody. And now I also feel very guilty about one of the topics I wanted to talk to you about. Don't cause I don't care. I mean, she doesn't actually feel guilty. I would say everything, you know, it's just, it's only about right. Sometimes this clickbait just gets out of control these days. This is clicky. So when you google you um the thing that came up for me was jenny and jason are having more sex in quarantine oh that was a funny one it's brought us closer and i was like i think everyone i know

got divorced i could not hate chris knight more into quarantine like if i hear your voice one more time on a goddamn zoom from the other room it is over did you really have more sex well i was having so i mean i was having not a lot of sex before so the up was like because yeah so it was like it was a tick up for me which means like maybe i was having sex once a month yeah versus don't come near me okay you know what i like this i'm a workaholic you know so for me like i don't think about physical touch and you know on my podcast i talk about love languages like the five love languages how do you show love how do you receive love and jason always says like he's like physical touch is one jenny it really is and it's the one i always forget when i'm

interviewing people i'm like there's a fifth like i can't remember but for me i don't think to like right touch other humans except my children don't want to like swallow right right right well so yeah i did actually like get around to having sex because jason had me trapped in a house and i probably got pregnant like the one time i had sex well this is what i'm like i was like damn because i was a little bit like oh really like i'm happy you share everything but like i didn't need the good stuff but now i feel bad because you had no oh my god don't feel bad no thank god i don't have a third kid you guys like thank god oh my god well i would really be do you want more children no okay i'm so done do you ever watch the celebrity like world and think

why are people not tying the tubes like i just saw there's like some article about some they don't really touch it's more of a vasectomy and the tubes for the ladies the vasectomy but i'm like if you are cheating on your wife that actively and having that much sex with people you're not supposed to like i would get a vasectomy absolutely you don't have a well because their wives probably want more kids and also men are stupid they're not stupid what about in new york when i was pregnant with laszlo i was like you're gonna tie my tubes when you take him out yeah and jason flipped out and was like we need to have a conversation about this and it ended in me like pregnant jumping from a moving cab being like it's my body i mean so oh shit

honestly valid no i mean i don't know don't make that decision yet you're you're pregnant you don't know necessarily i don't know but here's the advice my mom gave she said never tie your tubes have your husband do the vasectomy because if he ever leaves you yes then the chances of him procreating with someone else and you having to have half siblings with some monster stepmother that's true and share you know whatever's left of their money with like some other demon children that weren't hers that's true i love that becca that's becca tobin in a nutshell for you she's like we're gonna think ahead we're gonna problem solve in trouble becca look on the dark side tobin here at lady gang but i also like the idea because my ob was like well it lowers your risk for i

think ovarian cancer really yeah and at that point i'm like what else can you take out yeah i want to be like one of those watermelons they use to put a fruit salad yeah yeah like do i really need two kidneys like someone needs this let's just you know what other odds can i like i agree speaking of shit i wrote a note on my notes here famous guy free shit so i saw something that you had written and you were like it's bullshit because jason gets so much free stuff yeah and like i don't get the free stuff but i feel like that has changed yes that was at the beginning of our relationship i really resented jason's fame on every level when i first met him i love that it was like the thing that i hated the most about him because first of all i was like 26 years 27

years old and i went from feeling like when i walked into a room i was feeling hot to like nobody saw me i was invisible i was just jason biggs is plus one yeah and i'm like what is happening to my life it also like when you're a workaholic and when you have ambition and drive and maybe those things like haven't come to fruition yet for you the things that you want being with somebody famous is the worst thing you could do to yourself because you're tortured on a daily basis you all you do is compare yourself to where they're at um yeah it was horrible he got so much free shit and just better treatment in general i mean he would go to nail salons and they're like would you like a seat here how about here you want a free massage i mean it's just

anything you can imagine and i'm like he is such he's one of those celebrities too that will always be recognized yes it's like yeah you know what i mean because it was during it was during that time before like there were social media and all like the bullshitty like fake celebrities like that's a celebrity everybody stars oh yeah yeah and then okay so i have a question for you and i pre-gamed this with jack you were not here yet is it ever weird when you're having sex and then Do you ever picture the pie scene from the movie? She's never been asked this before. Have you been asked this before?

I've never been asked this actually. Really? I haven't. Um, I don't know. You know, I didn't see the movies until I was married to him. Oh my God.

Because I was like a theater major. I'm like, Oh, lowbrow. I didn't have any interest. And then one day he's like, you should watch it because like it did pay for our house. You're like,

it's what I'm known for. I knew who Jason was. I was like, Jason Biggs. you know because the i the reason we got set up was this producer oh you had it was a yeah how did you guys it was a blind date we were both auditioning for this kate hudson movie my best friend's girl and the the a guy who repped wait didn't you get that i was in it yes yeah at the time good job no but i i was trying to get the lizzie caplan role and at the time the the guy

who repped the writer was trying to date my sister so he was just a manager manager but he happened to have some clout i guess he had access to the audition tapes and he said do you want to see the girls that you're up against and like i mean as you guys know like that never happens in hollywood no it's the only time it's ever happened and i'm just thinking like yeah do do i ever like send me the codes my dream right so i'm watching these girls and it was a small circle of us at that point you know i knew i knew pretty much who i was up against yeah and i'm like let's just see what this bitch can do you know what i mean and watching it and it was so revelatory because you're like oh she's doing nothing that different and but then it starts to dawn on you

like how arbitrary holly was hollywood is and you're like oh yeah wait i thought that they would be like going in and giving like a meryl street performance yeah and that barely was annoying but then he said there's two guys we're choosing between one is jason biggs and one is this other guy who do you think did a better read and before i even watched the tapes i was like jason biggs he's like famous i'm not famous like of course i obviously i'm rooting for the underdog yeah because i'm just projecting all over it and then i watched the tapes and jason gave i i still say arguably one of the best performances of his career was like better than it even was in the movie and i'm like oh my god you have i'm it's him

stan corrected i you know he's actually quite talented um and i might be in love with him but yeah you need to give it to him so then a few weeks went by we had both gone back in for like the director and what i still knew nothing yeah but then my sister called and she said would you go out on a double date with jason and me and doug and at the time i'm like i don't want to date an actor but i do want to be in that movie oh yeah it sounds like it's free sushi okay i'm in oh that's incredible i love that yeah then we both went we kind of started we like went on one date but i'm like he's not the one you know i was like he's sweet but no yeah again because i was like annoyed that he was famous right i didn't want to be with him and then that's why yes well

so then he gets the job he got the role in the movie i went back to hating him of course because i hadn't heard and then i found out i was doing the film too we were in boston together for three months and is that when you found out later holy shit then it went really fast yeah once you said yes yeah wow it was weird that's so cool it's so fucking cute it is cute you know it was a wild time we were like definitely not in the place to be making life choices so you're like you know let's get married yeah let's just get married so i know we all feel like we are on all the time Life is getting busier. There's sports, there's events, there's weddings, there's all of these responsibilities. And sometimes you just need to hit reset. And I did it this past weekend

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Tell me about City of Likes. Oh my God. Because we can't read it. Yes. We don't know what it is. Yeah. So wait, so this is your first novel. It's my first novel.

And it took me three years to write. Wow. I thought I was going to, you know, I remember going into this agent in New York and he sat me down and he's like, well, your last two books did okay. And I was like, well, what do you mean they did? Okay. He's like, yeah. I said, you know, I made the times list.

He's like, so he's like, that doesn't mean anything. And I said, oh, okay. He's like, well, so do you want to know, do you want to tell me what you want to do next? Or do you want me to tell you what I think you should do? Oh, wow. I mean, but he's like a, he's like a big agent. So I kind of felt like, all right, he's an expert. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me what you like. Honestly, tell me, I'll do that. Yeah. Tell me what you think I should do. And he said, I think you have

a voice for fiction. I think you should try to write fiction. And I left just reeling. I mean, I didn't think I, I was like, Oh, that guy's in. I mean, I don't even know what that meeting was about. And I left and I thought about it and I went and I wrote the proposal for what I thought would be a third memoir. And I was so bored by it because I was writing for parents magazine at the time, I was doing a lot of mom stuff and it just didn't, it wasn't getting at like the core of what I wanted to talk about, which was this idea of if you're trying to show people what a good mom you are on Instagram and you're trying to prove to the world, like how good you are at this, how good are you really? And that just was stuck in my head and I couldn't let go of it. And I knew that I wanted

to talk about this weird world of influencing that like i had suddenly found myself in and just like the dark side of it yeah and the addiction that's like so inherent and so that was kind of the beginning of the novel and so i kind of just i went for it and it sucked for a while it wasn't good i didn't know how to like really tell the story correctly because i had never had to write something so long yeah i mean how do you do that it was so hard i mean honestly we bawled out on our next book we're like we barely wrote it oh my god yes like let's write a couple short essays yes all in a day totally when you're used to writing short formats it's so easy i don't know yeah writing a novel i don't know hard i had severe anxiety watching you go places to write

on instagram because i just was like so much pressure i could never like i would have probably been institutionalized if i had the responsibility to write a novel and nobody was really watching me i wish i had somebody saying like jenny you better turn this in right because i had to write it before i could sell it yeah which my other two books i sold based on your on your following and whatever yeah yeah yeah so i had to write it before i sold it and literally you guys i i put i submit i put it out for submission probably two years ago and pulled the submission because it like it wasn't ready oh my gosh and that was like a whole like hell and i mean the whole journey has been so daunting it's been it's been the child that i've been pregnant with for see that's why i don't

I'm not going to have this baby. No, no. I don't need another. This is my third kid. Will you ever say who the characters in your book are, like, loosely based on? I think you'll be able to tell. Great. I'm so excited.

Okay, cute. Then you also sold the TV series. Yes. So I gave Sony a two chapters. Can we just, like, hold on. Just take that for a moment. Oh, my God. Let that sizzle.

Are you Tony Robbins? Yes, I am. Cole Walker. I didn't go to the Tony Robbins and come back to the Lady Gang being like, I walked on coals. that's you like live that like you you said you struggled with it and like didn't think it was good and now here you are like just i hope that you yes amazing are you able to a little bit i mean it is sort of like i think i've always been driven by just um failure yeah failure drives me and the more people tell me no just the more i kind of like bear down i can't accept defeat

you are kelty did that resonate really hard with you yeah and now i'm gonna write that i can't take it it's like i will just come at it people are like you look like a horse on television your face is your forehead is way too big and then i'm like you know what i'm gonna do slick my hair back bitches you haven't seen a forehead that is nine inches long yet meanwhile jack and i read one bad thing about ourselves and i'm like gonna crawl into a hole yeah i'm like i actually think i'm done with all the entertainment industry or if i get a job offer that's like if the tone of voice from my agents isn't excited enough i'm usually like oh you don't think i deserve this either that's so crazy i'm just gonna i'm a foul and i'm like i should quit that's so interesting and i'm

like here's my emmys that i won they're daytime tv emmys but i will still call myself an emmy and one of them is in the drawer upstairs because there's not enough room on my with the book that i wrote it's so foreign to be that type of person like to be fueled i love being fueled by failure oh my god what were your parents like did they love you no you just read this no i think and i had dyslexia as a kid and i always felt like i wasn't smart and i felt like i couldn't do it and i just felt like everything was always a struggle so for me it's like hearing no doesn't phase me yeah and also being an actress for as many years as i was an actress i just feel like like i'm the best at a job interview because i'm like there's nothing you can do you can't hurt me

i've been like carved out and getting run over by like a million cars there's like nothing to be done at this point i'm just gonna keep going it's kind of a sweet way to live though yeah i mean it's crazy but like you guys come on the side no i mean it must be nice you know you're just i would love to wake up one day and be able to be that way bring it but i'm not you don't like this podcast cool you exactly i'm like then you have terrible taste i don't know what yeah you really do our reviews on itunes and it's like awful all people think we are as vapid they're not wrong but i don't want to be reminded of that constantly loves it oh that well no because you think yeah i am you think you're pretty great i am great you're welcome i won't read reviews

that's interesting yeah that's a difference that's a big difference yeah i'm a sucker for punishment well i also do learn from it i have to say she takes a note i do i like to take a note so i was a rockette many years ago okay and they would come before like if you did six shows a day at radio city they'd come with like the legal pad of notes and be like healthy your eyes were not looking at the mezzanine during the 12 days of christmas oh my god in act one like you you know you like whatever anyway so i'm like i'm really good at taking out when these girls are like please don't take a painkiller and then write a business email i'm like okay i won't ever do that again you know like you have to live your life anyway yes okay sorry this is not about me

this is about you jenny is it you but i am curious like why because i don't meet a lot of people that have this you guys have it yeah it's i know why my i can unpack mine i know so my brother's bipolar okay and he was not diagnosed until his 20s so i lived my whole life with an older brother who was just fucking awful okay like mean like i had to hide in my closet like okay and my brother was so catonic like there was just so much going on yes that the only way that i could get love from the people around me and my parents was by being perfect and achieving so like the only time the rexic i know it's like a weird thing i know no i mean i i mean once he's weird i have a weird food i have like a deep food thing like okay tell her about your bachelor interview she was on the

yeah i was on the bachelor i got kicked off on like the second night which is she has the most iconic exit of all time i mean i was iconic i can't spend five minutes with brad she's amazing and i have a hair chain do you remember when people were wearing like chain headbands like it was like kind of a thing where they would like hang down show one shoulder she's like i think i said something to him that was offensive wait did what did he ever tell you what what happened it was about his tie it was about his tie yeah because it was lilac purple of course a lilac purple tie when you're trying to seduce women just saying oh my god anyway long story short when i went on the bachelor they did this

psychology test where they like lock you in the sheraton lax for like five days and they test you and this woman was like they give you valtrex right yeah they can't have a cold sore this woman is like this woman's like this is just so wild you know in all of my years of being a psychologist old as she's like i've never seen anyone that cares about food less than you and i was like i've trained myself so deeply yeah that goes deep interesting she has a relationship with food that is the most unique of anybody it's what is this food doesn't equal love to you no food is like you got to survive she really but she's to live yeah but it's not even like she doesn't nourish her body she doesn't care like she'll eat like a snickers and a klondike

and a diet coke and binge on that and then nothing i can't believe i'm alive right now jenny that's fast but then you do care because you get the colonics because i'm always on a journey i'm always on a journey to like get it together extreme she also can't have fun like everything is like doing something that's gonna like further her yeah do you have fun let's turn this around This is not the Kelty Night Podcast. Do you have fun? It's hard. Yeah, it is hard.

I'm a three. I'm a three enneagram. Me too. I have the sacred enneagram right above you. You understand. So, I mean, do I need to even say any more to you? When's the last time that you fully belly laughed and it wasn't an achievement? So, I belly laughed.

I was actually just rereading Casey Rose Wilson, her book. And I was on the plane actually coming here. and she said that her kid wanted to play make-believe with her and he's like i'm gonna pretend that i just collected all of your amazon packages at the store and i'm gonna pretend that i can hold them all because i mean i don't know you've ordered so many who knows if i can actually she's like wait he's pretending to act to hold my like fake amazon packages like what am i raising this kid to be and that kind of like set you over the edge i had to send jason a screen grab because jason's an amazon whore so oh my god i wanted him to see that that's my husband but that did kill

me but that was you know but no to act and i was reading it because i'm interviewing her so it was work yeah shit i know it's dark for us i see you it's so hard let's talk about the podcast before we wrap third wheel podcast so you have been approached for years about doing something and now this is finally it yeah so jason and i thought about doing something together for a long time we did a serious show on radio andy that just basically there was no format you guys it was just me and jason would get into a fight weekly on air that is the format baby weird and like finally they came was it like we were like today we're gonna talk about artichokes and then you'd fight about it or just your random shit just unpacking like what are we gonna do today because jason

always since i'm the writer of the like he's like babe what's planned what did you come up with and i'm like today we're gonna talk to this girl shut the kale up i just want to know like what her life is like someone i follow on instagram and then we'd get into like this massive fight he'd say something i'd say something and then by the end of it i think andy called us and was like maybe you guys should just do once a month you know because jason's still you know because because Jason has had this crazy career path. He's like, you don't f***ing once a month me. I don't once a month.

Like a slow f***ing. Go f*** yourself, Andy Cohen. Welcome to the dark side. Exactly. But he's transferring over to more serious stuff now, right? Yeah, I just saw this movie he did the other day that was so heavy. I saw something of him. He was like in a trench coat.

And I was like, I'm sorry. I don't know this man. Yes. What is it? Is he on CSI right now? It's like a crime show. I love how you don't know. She literally turned around her friend.

My friend Allie, I was like, is he on CSI? I get annoyed because like when you have an actor husband, the benefit is like most of the time they're free to be your assistant. He's one of those actors that like doesn't know what to do with himself when he's not like being told what to do by a director. He's on CSI Miami? I don't think so. Is he?

I don't know. Honestly, I'm like free to kill his life. I have no idea. Your guess is as good as mine. Okay. But he's not around to do my errands. I know he's wearing a trench coat. Then he's working on something, and then I get mad.

He runs your errands for you? Oh, my God. He drove me to the airport this morning, you guys. I saw the text. He's like... What? His call? He texted on Instagram.

His call was 10 a.m., and he was like, baby, I'll take you. My call's not till 10. Oh. That's my love for someone to take you. Were you at LAX? Thank God he's not a three enneagram. Can you imagine? What is he?

Nine. He's like a seven or a six. Oh, Jack's a seven. I'm a seven. Yeah. He's like... Becca's a three, but she doesn't feel it. Yeah.

I'm a three. she's like a dark three my interest are you a three cuss are you a three cuss i don't actually know where i fall did we know did we find that out i don't know you can be kind of a wing my madness is all internalized yeah she's like happening inside but she'll never tell you about it got it interesting she wants all the things i want but she's like too cool to tell you incorrect i don't want your pursuit for fame is unmatchable unmatched you guys this will have happened this will have been here wait are you going to where were you when i lived in l.a are you going to me are you going to women and entertainment next week are you in town for

this no hollywood reporter i'm going to austria okay oh my god jenny's my one of my best friends is the catering director at the hyatt century city i'm dying stop stop it he was like what is happening he was like do you want to come he's like oh i'm doing the hollywood reporter women and entertainment and i was like bitch can you get me in and he called the hollywood porters like i would like my friend to be at my table because you know the hyatt gets one table at every event the golden globes or whatever so i'm gonna walk the red carpet like the hollywood reporter invited me i'm probably gonna rent something from albright it might be gucci i'm gonna look so amazing unbelievable how did she get in here and then they'll be like oh my god

jennifer aniston and i'm gonna be like no shame are you gonna sit at the catering table i'm gonna sit at the fucking hyatt table and be like jen great job you were great on the morning show like i don't give a i love this you might be there that's amazing you probably get really i'm actually doing the catering you're like but i'm also doing the prolon fast next week so that i'm not even going to be able to eat the catering you're doing prolon again prolon it's awful anyway okay jenny jenny's who can write you we've always said that if there's someone who could like encapsulate her like it would be the most incredible character yeah i've ever seen in your life yes I mean, if you want to be best friends.

I need to write you in a show that you can star in. Yes. I'm a terrible actress. She's a terrible actress. In fact. How is this possible? Jenny, this is not about me. But, okay, on the Thanksgiving Day Parade that I host on CBS this week, I really want to be Roxy Hart on Broadway.

So I made the director record me sitting in my parade outfit singing Roxy Hart to send to the director. I have the video. Can I have the video before I leave? I am blown away. you're like next level but i actually need this to happen because i honestly we will be so rich well i try to so i try to describe kelsey like as a person and i'm like she's so unbelievable that you just like can't do it she's this big special snowflake that like but you'd have to get the most incredible actress that you've ever like it has to be like a meryl streep because

it has to be performed perfectly like you are very tough well see look at this you know what's going on in my head did you expect that turn i didn't that was a turn we didn't see coming okay wait so wait wait so city of likes i'm back to you what's the show about this is kelty's favorite podcast though the show i mean is this my new demo reel yes well the show are you freaking are you freaked out about the show no you're thinking for me is this who's writing it me but the thing for me is this guy's like i i don't come from the book world i came from la right so like i came from like the tv film side and so i don't believe anything is ever real right la doesn't matter like so they said i'm

gonna have a show that doesn't mean anything right that you could never see for me i like it that it for me honestly and you'll relate to this the win is just having it in hollywood reporter yeah i don't give a babe like the win is making everyone else see it and think it's happening babe i don't oh this is crazy talk about it this is insane which one what like there's doesn't even matter i am working on a show right now the episode just came out i'm working on a show i sold the show to cbs but nobody knows about it because they fired me and then i went back and sold a show to them because i'm that spiteful i love that um so anyway i sold a show to them but like literally they're like what's the show and like everyone's like what's the set

look like what's the font like who are we booking and i'm like through the zoom i'm like when are we announcing right like when can my headshot be on variety that i can clip and put on instagram i'm like if the show ever goes fine because can i get a article on variety thank you because you know that how ephemeral this world this yeah it's so stupid jenny stuff isn't real but then why does that get you guys like that's my question like but then why because it gets a new show on disney plus like a massive series and she's like oh here it is like one instagram story i'm like excuse me that's what a whole month of content oh my god mind that there's the why there's the close like how are we collecting accomplishments we love it like how the f**k do you didn't do the

full page grab the close-up the just you the highlight of your name and the article like this was at least six stories my god that don't you feel that way about books because for me that's why i want that's why i went to books because i felt like nobody can change this yeah it's exactly what i wanted to say i'm the master of my own universe i'm directing every scene in here i'm playing every role because i'm literally providing the dialogue and so and now it's just this tangible concrete realization of like what was in my head the the tv show will never be that for me like even if it does become some something and like god you know how that is yeah probably won't nope don't say that but i don't even care when it does because i'm not invested in it which

feels also like such power yeah you know when i sit on those like when i sold the first show to abc and i remember jamie tarsus who loved jamie tarsus jamie was like a mega female producer in hollywood and she passed away this year i was sad um but she's legend legend and i'll never forget when jamie called me and said jenny um the show isn't gonna go and jamie was like you could feel that she was so disappointed and i'm like okay bye you know because for me i was like i already have to win i already have the book like you guys can't take that away from me and unlike with acting i don't have to watch somebody else do that role for me i'm like you'll never have my material goodbye so i don't know do you feel that way with your books

does it or no well there here's where you guys are different kelty is a scam i have no actual talent no no you are full of rockette i can't even know she's not a good dancer no stop it honestly i had the right body like i had the right body like i have the right torso to leg ratio but like i was literally a rocket and on the god mic linda haberman bless your soul would come on and she'd be like you know there's a pickup in that time step wing like you know when you do a wing and tap you're supposed to wing back in i was just like she just was like on the surface it looks like i'm a rocket yeah yeah i was the worst rocket i wasn't the worst she just worked really hard and wore that bodysuit bitch

that yellow crush velvet bodysuit like you weren't telling me i was not doing this job four auditions later i feel like when you and i auditioned with each other a lot in new york like in our oh jenny will love this story this is incredible it sounds like maybe honestly this is an episode of the kelty show i know don't call it the kelty show but call it like something else she's telling our editor right now don't call it the kelty show is that what you're doing i'm telling okay the people listening okay so kelty and i used to audition against each other in new york all the time all the time becca's so talented it's annoying no oh my god that's so what what kind of auditions for broadway okay whoa so we were going in for legally blonde when

it was on broadway okay going in for like one of the first replacement roles and we all danced and she's in i a sophie like a short short short short and a part of the worst hair extensions that you've ever seen in your life pulling it up for you but the most in that room you would have thought she was like j-lo and we were the backup dancers like the energy she brought into the room was so aggressive and i was like i don't know her but she's some she's insane she goes in front of me she makes it through all the dance cuts and then down to like 10 of us and we go one at a time into the room and sing like 16 bars of a poppy or musical theater song yeah so everybody has their songs like some people do like kelly clarkson and some people do like carrie underwood

kelty goes in i just want you to i just want you to like take this for a moment oh my god are you kidding she's showing her picture oh my god circa 2000 with a bleep with that box dyed hair and that is bleached extension baby. The hair was only this long, but she was down to the tit. Okay. Okay. So she goes in the room and all these girls can sing.

If you're auditioning to be on, on Broadway in a musical, like you'd think someone who care, like who doesn't sing or carry a tune would be like, you know what? This may be not, it's not for me. You know,

maybe I should just be the Nick city dancer and live my life and be cute. Well, she went in that room and the walls are paper thin. and everyone just stops like stops their tracks and all you hear coming from the room is hey mickey you're so fine but she has replaced the name mickey with the director of the play's no name no jerry you're so fine you're so fine jerry mitchell and no yeah yeah oh yeah and every single person is standing outside and they're like i don't know what to do now what the to do And then she walks out of the room, the most confident thing you've ever seen.

And knocked it out of the park. And she's like, I nailed it. But meanwhile, in that audition. I love you. Jerry. Jerry stopped. Now I'm taking two tequilas in. Jerry stopped me.

And he goes, Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey. He goes, thank God you're so pretty. It's not for you. Stop it. And then I walked up. And I didn't want those bitches to know that I got cut. I crushed it. OK.

Unbelievable. Oh, my God. Listen, Jenny, we have been waiting to sit in a room with you. Can I just say that? I have been waiting to sit in a room with you guys. You're an icon. It's a famous... Honestly, I didn't know about...

I mean, sure, I watched a movie in the 90s, but you're Jenny. I fucking love your books. You're so incredible. Jack drove from Venice. That's so for you. I won't fucking miss this. I actually am missing my fifth wedding anniversary. Yep.

She stayed in town. Stayed in town. I am so beyond grateful, flattered, humbled. That's so amazing. What you have done with your persona, I know it's like heartbreaking in some ways, but has been so freeing. Oh, thank you. For the human beings of the planet. For the human beings of the planet.

It's so sweet. Listen, everyone is being like, I just drink water. Yeah. it's well it's and i think what it is too is the litmus test for me is if my sister and i yes agree on hating the same person so we'll be we'll we'll discover someone on instagram and and be like this she seems cool and her brand is cool but inevitably you end up starts to grate yes yes grating i've never muted you i've never and my sister and i both like when i told her i was coming here she was like that's the most exciting person you've had this whole time

and i promise you our girls will love you way more than if we ever had we could literally jennifer aniston on i mean i mean okay yes but like i just love your realism i think you're just amazing so listen we are going to get behind city of likes it's going to be a best download even though apparently it doesn't matter it's going to be a bestseller i want the book to know That's another thing. I don't want you to feel this way. I want the book to make the list. But I know it's so hard.

Don't all your books make the list? But nonfiction is so different. Yeah, it's different. You have to sell like 80,000 books. Well, we're so excited for you. And we're most excited that we get to now go to the Church of Jenny every single week on the Third Wheel Podcast on Podcast One, wherever you get your podcasts. We're going to hear her and Jason fight.

Jason's going to be on it? I cannot wait. Well, we did one the other night. Actually, Ari, my producer, it's funny. every time he comes to these he leaves with some weird epiphany because he's watching other people other relationships every time and he was one night he goes home he's like i think i have to do hallucinogenic mushrooms and then he's like maybe i'm drinking too much is that what the chelsea handler episode it no it was the justin bartha one he was and he's like i maybe i need

therapy and you know so every time i feel like i'm just like mind him every one of these is different and every time he leaves with a new realization about himself i love that but it's an interesting assortment of couples very eclectic group can't wait i'm so excited for you all right everyone go pre-order the book right this minute or we'll get you okay you can follow two of jenny's instagram accounts jenny mullen and also dictatorship lunches nope dictator lunches i live in a dictatorship we're so excited to have you there's so many things we didn't get too you're gonna have to come back after the show launches so kind thank you and we will see you next tuesday thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared

monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's a great swipe up to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at the lady gang.com and Join our secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday.