LadyGang - Jonathan Van Ness

Episode Date: May 8, 2018

Queer Eye's fabulous grooming expert and host of the Gay of Thrones podcast Jonathan Van Ness fills in for the first-ever Beccaless episode! Keltie tells the tale about her horrible car accident while, with way too many f-bombs, Jonathan talks about the crazy casting call for the iconic show's revival. Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and you can email Jac, Becca and Keltie at Hello [e-mail]! And thank you to today's sponsor! - Amazon = Shop using Amazon.com/shop/ladygang to keep the podcast free! - Beach Body = Get a free trial membership when you text LADYGANG to 303030  - Blue Apron = Get $30 off your first order when you go to BlueApron.com/ladygang  - From You Flowers = Get 1-dozen mixed roses for $19.99 or 2-dozen mixed roses with a free vase for $29.99 at FromYouFlowers.com/lady  - StoryWorth = Visit storyworth.com/lady and get $20 off when you subscribe  - ZipRecruiter = Go to ziprecruiter.com/gang to post jobs for freeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's your Lady Gang, Jack Vanek, Kelty Knight, and Becca Tobin. Thank you so much for subscribing on iTunes, and thanks for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you every single week for free. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang.

Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Gang. Normally this would be Becca. It's our first sad podcast we have ever done without Becca Tobin. I can't believe it, really. This seems weird, Jack.

It's like me and you and some bitchiness. And then there's just a very big missing piece. Deeping hole. I know, but Becca is, of course, up in Canada. She's shooting her movie right now. So good week. Becca got a job after all these years. Bad week.

We're really missing her, and we don't really know what to do with our lives. But here's the reason why. We have been trying to get our guest today on our podcast for many, many months because we have been obsessed with his show and his personality and himself. And he's now so busy in superstardom. This was literally the only day we could get him. And so we had to Hunger Games. We had to take what we can get. We had to decide who do we love more, our guest or Becca.

And it's Jonathan. You might have thought we'd pick Becca, but sorry, Becca. Just so you know, we've been doing our podcast for two and a half years, and we've never not all been here together. Oh, my God. This is the first episode. We cancel all the time. We're like, if not all of us can be here, like, I'm sorry, Beyonce, you're not going to be able to be on the podcast. And Becca's like, I think I can't be there.

We can't cancel. We'll never get him again. He's so busy. Such a start. So let me introduce our guest today, and then we're going to include him on Good Week, Bad Week. Our guests today give us fierceness and realness. Honey! On the new Queer Eye, he started his career as an assistant at Sally Hershberger.

and moved on to the hilarious Emmy-nominated Game of Thrones recap web series Gay of Thrones. Whether he was shaving a man, trimming some hair, or crying on screen, he became an instant icon and hair goals for people everywhere. With over 800,000 Instagram followers, a successful podcast, and a second season of Queer Eye on its way, the next stop on his tour to Hollywood is superstardom. Please welcome to the Lady Gang, Jonathan Van Ness. Welcome! Oh my god, thanks so much for having me.

Also, I feel some pressure to fill these golden shoes. I know. The pressure's on. The pressure's real. I don't want to jizz you out, but this is real. No, I came to play. I have my fourth coffee for today. I'm so ready.

You're tweaking out? You're ready to go. I'm so ready. Okay. On that note, then, it is time for... Good week. Yes, it is. Bad week.

Oh, no. Who's going to go first? I kind of want you to go first because I'm dying to know what's going on. like does your people know that you are currently in this do we want yes okay yeah yes so we know gorgeous sling she's getting new york realness yes well listen she has many more gorgeous slings than this that are bedazzled and colored yes everything well that was going to be my good week so it's fine it's fine so as we all know a couple weeks ago i was in a near-death experience head-on collision oh my god has everyone already heard about it and i'm just like late no yeah i'll

give you the cole's notes in case you aren't listening to every episode which you should be Obviously I am, but I have a short-term memory loss. Yeah, that's what it is. I was too in a head-on collision and forgot about the last episode or two. I was driving home from work after podcasting. I drove a Mini Cooper. A woman made an illegal turn. Now, I love rules.

And when you break the rules, I was holding my hands 10 and 2. And when you hold your hands 10 and 2 and then someone hits you head-on, your body crumples into like a mush-mosh. And basically the doctor's like, your arm is slush. We need to rebuild it from – so I got unconscious. I went to the hospital You were unconscious And then you woke up In the ambulance

Husband Blood I woke up outside the accident Like I donked And then I came to And I had blood coming down Thank god My face is fine

She didn't even have a scratch On her face at all My face looks Amazing So face is good I mean the pain pills And stuff are making me A little puffy

Which I'm disappointed at For spring You look good now though Yeah I don't see a puffiness I don't see I see youthful glow I see

I see beautiful face I see giving spring I see coming into summer thank you so anyway I've been kind of did you scream at her right out of the car no because I thought I killed her do we cuss here

I thought I killed her because no one came out of her car was she unconscious too well she was in her driver's side but she had to crawl across because it was such a bad accident that her car and my car were totaled sort of together two become one like the Spice Girls song and she couldn't open her door so she had to crawl

over her seat So she made an illegal left You were going straight And you just T-boned her ass But it was totally her fault Because she made the illegal L Totally her fault And she didn't even get hurt

Did she? Not really, no Which is a miracle Because you probably ran right into her Ran right into her door Her door But she was driving like a big mom car You know what I mean?

I was driving Was she like I'm so sorry Did you guys even talk? We didn't talk But I was like I mean in that moment I was fairly Canadian

Where I was just worried That I killed the woman You're Canadian? Yeah I love Canadians No I was like Is everyone okay? She was just apologizing

Do you need to go to the hospital? Like, do you need to go to the hospital? Like, I was like, do you need to go to the hospital? We're calling 911. Like, I just got out of the car and started screaming, we need help. We need help. And all the people on Ventura came out of the restaurants and everyone was helping me. And it was so amazing.

And can I just tell you that she texted us, like, right after she got in this accident. It was, we were just finishing podcasting at night. She texted us being like, car accident hospital. Then we come to find out that she thought that she took a limo to the hospital. and when she was at the hospital she was making all the doctors do dance offs and then was trying to find me a boyfriend all after she shattered her arm

and her arm was shattered so we have a new bionic arm under here 12 weeks in the sling everything yeah and here's the greatest thing so last week I'll just tell this story quickly Elena took me to the doctor last week and I had to get my cast off and a new cast put on and I'm like Elena

did you like scratch your arm a lot no because I follow the rules they were like do not stick anything down this cast No chopsticks, no straws. They're like, it will get infected. And I was like, that's okay. Are you itchy? I follow the rules, Jonathan.

Of course I was, but I follow the rules. But when you took the cast off, you were like, oh, let me just get a good itch in. No, I got sick. I started throwing up. I had like PTSD. Why? When they took the cast off, you just started puking? Yeah.

Well, I feel like it's like with all the constriction and stuff, it makes you feel sick. She just like, I think it finally- Cried? You started crying? It like hit her because she like saw it. And it was all different looking? It looks great. It looks great.

It's not mangled. It's just emotional. What about your stitches on it? I haven't seen it yet because it's under a pad. Oh. But anyway, point being, Elena took me to the doctor and I was like, Elena, get ready because my surgeon, Dr. Raven, is hot. Dr. Raven is so hot.

Wait, his name is Raven? Yeah, Dr. Raven. That was supposed to be mining. He was like, he's so hot, you're going to die. Like, he's just so hot. And so we go in the room and then he walks in and I look at Elena and I was like, wait, not hot at all. Wait, he's not hot?

No. He's kind of muscly. Well, he's a doctor, so that's, like, 10 points. But other than that, no offense. I hope you're not listening, Dr. Aiden. Is it because you're on so many pain pills that you thought he was hot? Yes. Is he young and tall?

Yes. Wait, what the hell? How come you haven't told me about him? No, you don't want him because it was a mistake. He wasn't hot. When we walked into the room, they have, like, a giant photo of, like, all the doctors that, like, work there. And she's like, oh, those are the, like, hot doctors.

And I look at them and I'm like, I don't see a single hot doctor. You are just so hopped up on adrenaline and drugs that you're like, everybody's hot. Yeah, totally. Okay, so good week. Good week. Mary Hart, the icon from Entertainment Tonight, I found out this week that she broke her wrist when she was the host of Entertainment Tonight. And so the wardrobe team at E.T. came in and dropped off like 25 Mary Hart slings. So I feel like I'm now a part of the world.

They are all bedazzled. they are all like pink green leopard with red like one has like a gold cord on it like a corded craft moment and i'm so excited about it and i've been wearing them and matching my dresses and so people have been like oh my god kelty so i've renamed spring it's called sling spring and today while we're podcasting in my comfort sling it's like your sports bra yeah it's like comfort she's real new york but i do have like a bling that one i actually should put on you're probably disappointed okay i'm not disappointed oh i love your look i love your look okay so good week good week many slings no this is not your good week oh she has a double good week you guys i can't break

the rules you have why can't we were breaking so many rules today i'm here i won't let you get through a sentence let's just make our own rules anyway okay so that was actually my bad week bad week i'm still in a sling bad week i'm still in a sling but i'm wearing kind of fabulous slings I'm breaking the rules. Oh, you have a better week. My good week is that, good week, yesterday, please call me by my legal full name, Emmy Award winning Kelty Knight. She won an Emmy yesterday.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, so just to let you know, like how she describes herself is two-time Emmy losing Kelty Knight. So it has changed everything. I, too, am an Emmy-nominated actress. An Emmy loser.

Which I really like. I've never said that. That's not my brand, that you can own that for you, and now you're an Emmy winner. I'm an Emmy-nominated actress, is what I like to say. Right. So congratulations. Thank you. Are you really?

Yeah. For what? For my web series. Oh, my God. Congrats. Rude. Kind of. Is it a daytime Emmy?

No, it was like creative art. Creative art. There's so many Emmys. People are like, oh, my God, I was trying to watch you on TV. I was like, honey, the daytime Emmys are not on time. Nobody watches it. We won Best Entertainment News Show, which ET has won like five times before. But because I've moved over from my old show to ET, I'm now on the winning team.

Cute. And I get to have my own Emmy, and I picked it up today at work. And I held it and it was so heavy And then I was like, ow, everything hurts But it's like holding the Emmy I can't be exercising right now So anyway, I'm so excited and I do appreciate All the Lady Gang members that reached out to me

That said you have to change your bio now on your social media Did you change it? Not yet because I only have my left hand I will, I'm going to get to it Also she can't write, so anytime she's trying to sign something It looks like a child But like, yeah My good week was not as good as that

Obviously, because I don't think anything can beat that my good week was that i saw yodel boy do you guys know yodel boy oh i heard in concert oh he played stagecoach it was amazing he yodeled and had his own song and he was playing during the headliner of stagecoach i'm like it is insane how the internet has power because it's like they turn this obscure little boy into like a huge artist and now he's number one and he's huge and i love Wait, he played while Garth Brooks was playing? Florida Georgia Line. They brought him up and, like, stopped their set to let him have a set within their set.

I love those guys. It was insane. Yeah, it was so cute. And the best part about it is there's this girl, Kelsey Ballerini. Do you know her? Love. Love her. Peter Pan.

Yeah. Love. So good. And she had the cutest outfit on. But I guess she saw that he was at the festival. My friend works for her. And she's like, oh, my God, I got to go meet him. Got to go meet him.

She goes to meet him. And she's like, I'm such a huge fan. Like, this is so awesome. And he goes to her, he goes, who are you? No. Yeah. Double guns in the air. Too cool for school.

Too cool for Kelsey Ballerini. Perfect for Hollywood. I know. I'm like, he's going to be a monster now. I accidentally did that to Olivia. Newton John. No. Mun.

No. The Victoria's Secret model who's super famous. Olivia. Polaroid. No, not Polaroid. No, no. She's really major. She's really fierce.

Maybe her first name isn't Olivia. No, maybe we're perceiving it as Olivia and I'm messing everything up. She would know. She knows all the Victoria's Secret models. Yeah, there's no Victoria's Secret model named Olivia. Is she blonde? Let me text Tan really quick. Let me know.

Is she blonde? No, no, she wasn't. Is it? Mom, I can't talk right now. I'm doing a podcast. I'm so sorry. I have to call you back. Okay, bye.

I'm sorry. I couldn't decline that because she'll freak out. She'll think you're dead. Yeah, but I said I don't have to do your week again. Tell me everything. Okay. Bad week. He's going to work on his.

He'll figure it out. Bad week. Okay, bad week. i was on a date with this guy that i actually like which is shocking to me and he was like taking me out to like a fancy restaurant we get to the restaurant there's like the hostess there that's gonna seat us right and so she's like oh what's your name blah blah she goes to sit us down and then she turns and looks at me and she's like what's your name and i was like jack and she goes from the lady gang and i was like oh my god this is the best moment ever he's gonna think i'm so

cool he's gonna think i have fans so i start like trying to talk to her i'm like oh yeah like are you in the facebook group like have you listened to like this episode like blah blah try to talk to her and she starts looking at me like i'm she doesn't know what to say and she's like what the hell and then i look at my date and he was like busting up laughing because what he did he did this on purpose he did this where they have special requests when they have like a reservation he's like ask this girl about her podcast and like this mother made me feel like i was so cool and he did it just to be a dick wow yeah god and now you fell in love with him because of that i know i'm like god this is all i've ever wanted it's just somebody to like bring

me down a few notches oh my god yeah i don't like that i kind of love it i hope that you're not the well my auntie always taught me that in every relationship there's someone who like loves more and it needs to be the man i can't i from now on have can't be the one who loves more oh i can't either because i always am yeah and i always am the one who loves more and i just can't i just i need to be like the pretty one who's like adored and like not loving you so much more and this guy already feels like and like the other thing my mom always says is what is that you really want like your man to be like or whoever to be really like for you like very like for you right so like is he already for you if he's already like setting up as a practical joke on your first date like

like you know what i mean it wasn't a first date this was like a fifth date fifth date but no but this is like our rapport is we just make fun of each other like we just love that yeah but i jack makes bad decisions so i feel like she loves that but she shouldn't love that you have to take me seriously or i'll freak out yeah like as far as like a man you know what i mean yeah like no we do feeling we that's like all part of like i i get very turned on by that like the banter it's like sexy but i'm just like this mother okay so sorry to put you on the spot Good week, bad week. What's today?

Monday. Oh, my God. Oh, so this is from last week. It can be, like, anything recent. It can be anything recent. We're not going to, like, cut you off in seven days. I interviewed my idol, Triple Axel Bay, Mariah Nagasu. Oh, yeah.

That was really major. I cried. I cried more. I laughed. Wait, why do you love her so much? Is this for your podcast? Mm-hmm. I just love her a lot because, like, her story of how she came onto the Olympic team this

year is just really, really interesting. And I just, she won nationals as a 14 year old in 2008 and then got fourth in the Olympics in 2010, then had like a hard couple of years, like went through puberty, like totally changed her body. It's hard to do triple axels when you have hips. And she wasn't doing triple axels then anyhow, but basically in 2014, she had like an iffy season and then, uh, but she still got third at nationals, which technically should have put her on the Olympic team.

The, like the national figure skating association was like, you know what? even though you got third. You're not it. We weren't loving, you know, your performance with the last colors, even though you're a former national champion and you got fourth last time, which she was, like, the highest, like,

getting, like, American in 2010. Right. But they were like, yeah, so not this time. So sorry, we're going to give it to this other person who is also an amazing skater and was a two-time defending national champion. And she just had a bad performance. Her name's Ashley Wagner,

and she's really good. Yeah, and she didn't get picked this year. And so that did happen. But I think it's very interesting that as a um you know 20 year old after not making the team like most people would have like after getting fourth in the olympics and not making the team would have been like okay you know i'm done bye like i'm done totally what does she do she's like i've never really tried a chocolate a triple axel in competition even though i've been skating for half my life let's just do that and i mean no

one has done that in competition well malasada had done it in competition but no american had done it since tanya harding which is insane i think that's so amazing that this girl because like and i compared it very stupidly in my podcast like me learning how to do a back handspring but it's the only thing that i can really like but like i never thought that i would be able to do that like on the gym floor when i was trying to try out for cheerleading a little and so i know the feeling of like thinking like i'm never gonna be able to do that and she did it at the olympics and she did it at nationals it's so crazy did it at nationals there was always a fan of hers and knew of hers and liked her but at nationals this year because if she would have won nationals

this year that would have been the longest time because that means she would have won an 08 and then 18 20 years 10 years but yeah i'm high yeah but so she got second though which is you know um but i just think that's amazing i just love her story just think she's so amazing and i had like a olympic bronze medal around my neck this week like i'm such an olympic stan like i love it yeah just like having her tell me that story like in real life like no one's ever made me cry in that podcast before um so how are you getting people to come on the podcast you're just like emailing i email well i've been dming her i was like please see me like i love you so much please see me like that was that was like back in the olympics which i also told her that story right

i was like for the high i was like you know my olympic story is you acknowledging me right which is the story that i want to tell but not you winning a bronze medal let's talk about you mess i was like i want to know i was on my couch and you messaged me where were you i remember the exact time it's a bad week yeah so then my bad week would be like i don't know my life is like so cute right now um oh this is good yeah this is actually really good so there's this really hot guy who's in a thruple or he's in a couple okay and they keep trying to like because i'm really intimacy starved right now because i'm like don't really have time to date and i'm like can we just like cuddle like i don't really want you to like bang me i just

like want to cuddle with our tops off and like yeah yeah watch telly and like watch like like order post me it's like i don't really want you to like bang me i just like can we just like i just like she's like intimacy starved because my whole life is changing so much and like yeah yeah can i just lay on your chest who can you trust yeah so there's exactly so there's this like really hot zaddy who's in a couple and they for the longest time i thought that they were weirdly trying to like use me as like a thing between them like in a jelly way oh but then i was like oh i think you're just being sensitive i think they just want to hang so then i was just like busy and busy and busy and like in new york and not here so then like i ran into them

and they were like let's hang so sunday and like i have no free time like the opposite of free time So I had like two hours between things yesterday Where I was like Because I saw them at the gym and I was like Let's hang on Sunday And so this mother f***er Is like come over and we'll hang at three So I'm like okay cute

So I had all these other friends I was like let's do this let's do that And I don't know these people that well And I would have much rather hung with my real friends But the idea of having my gorgeous Intimacy starvation quenched By these two big muscle daddies I felt just too gorgeous to turn down.

Right, yeah. And so, and especially because it was, like, literally, like, gorgeous, like, hot tub and catch up on RuPaul's Drag Race. Like, it couldn't have been any more, like, gay, cute, sisterly. Like, let me just lay on my chest and let me just, like, lay on this gorgeous little chest and, like, we'll be on our way. So then, like, he confirms the time and then I, like, was recording my podcast all day and then, like, I was like, okay, cute, like, let me know, I'll be over.

And he's like, sorry, like, the other one is, like, doing this and that and blah, blah. And he's like, I'll let you know if plans change. and i was like and i was like this is why my best friend patty always tells me like whenever i tell her about them she's like don't f*** with throuples because they're always full of shit and she's like rich ones which these ones are she was like rich throuples are even worse because yeah yeah and i was like you know what having your cake and eating too and you know what you're both probably on f***ing roids and i hope they're listening to this because you can't be that muscly and old old and so

you know I just feel like I shouldn't give these old old muscle queens my f***ing time and it's kind of like I can't remember who sings it right off the top of my head right now but it's something about oh her the artist her like H period E period R period who I love who doesn't show her face

she's like Wilson from Home Improvement but you know but not like but not but yeah I don't even know what that means I mean I do but like no I know So I feel like her kind of is like that because she won't show her face because it's like fiercer.

But she was like, you know, I'm in this song at free. She's like, you know, I'm really not loving that I told you I was free and I'm really was not. So I like it was fine. I caught up on Westworld. I like had like I had my little like cute girlfriends come over. It was fine. But I was like, you old roided out.

How old are we talking? Not that old. I'm just saying it because I'm feeling hateful. And they deprived me of their double hairy chests. And I just feel like, I'm fun. And why don't, like, I don't understand. Like, why did you not more thoroughly suss out the situation with your boyfriend? What could you be more busy doing, really?

The problem is now you're going to fall into the category of Hollywood, where people are going to want to snuggle you just to get a selfie with you. Can we just snuggle now and selfie later? No, because now people are going to want to be around you. I'm very sorry. but then they don't even want to do they like hit you up on social media and stuff and now they're scared

no they're just shitty no I honestly just think they're like a shitty couple who at the end of the day isn't quite satisfied with each other obviously cause they keep poking around and then one of them gets threatened it's like a whole thing but I'm not privy to that part of the conversation but I was more of just like let's just be friends and let me lay my

big gay head on your big gay chest and watch f***ing Westworld is that asking so much? it's not that much But also, I learned in my podcast by Dr. Stan Taken, who invented this type of therapy that I love called pack therapy, which is the psychobiological approach to couples therapy. And he taught me that at the end of the day, we're bipedal people and primary relationships don't enjoy being threatened, which is why he doesn't believe or counsel for throuples or open relationships because he doesn't believe that they work. So really, I know better. I already know that.

You do. And in the words of RuPaul, who was here, and he told us, if they ain't paying your bills, pay those bitches no mind. No, pay them bees no mind. Pay those bees no mind. Wait, so what? If they ain't paying your bills, pay those bees no mind. Which is essentially how they did me. That's true.

Yeah. All right. So I think we need a little bit more compassion in this world. When we come back, we're going to talk all about Jonathan's rise to fame and also what hairstyle he would give his worst enemy. okay what's going on now here's the lady gang all right we're back i also just have to say really quick i feel really bad for calling like for like um age and steroid shaming them they're probably really nice people it's sure i'm just really bitter that they throw my two hours like if i ever got to sit beside beyonce i would be like beyonce let's have a three-way you're fine

i'll be like who bit you but who you're fine but when i'm on the lady gang podcast i'm like beyonce can you not like i know all i do is talk shit i'm even looking back at taylor swift being like you're not so bad after the beyonce of it all anyway okay yeah okay but the other thing is is that i also realized that i had a nervous breakdown in the very elevator that like the infamous beyonce elevator thing happened i just learned the fight yep yeah where was it it was in for the boom boom room in labain at the top of that standard in new york i was having i was having a moment on a sunday on a sunday because i well it's kind of in the rise to fame thing it was like the first one that i'd really gone out when like i really should can't now in that way and i got super

overwhelmed and i was like double fisting champagnes like for an hour oh no and then i had like six in an hour and then i was like wait you are my soulmate i think but then i had like it was too much attention just too many people so i was like oh my god i have to leave and then this like couple got in a fight at the front of the elevator so i was like this is my moment to get out of here so i jumped in front of the line and got in the elevator to get down when at the last minute right as the door was about to shut i'm gonna get this story out so fast you're gonna be so proud of me this crazed fan jumped in the elevator and started like double filming me like he had somehow two phones like he'd have one he had two and he was filming us with one and taking

pictures with the other and it made me champagne sob like i had to put my head between my knees because i was so stressed out with how many people were in my face that it made me cry and then i was like oh my god you only have 16 floors to like ugly cry this out before there's a line downstairs and they're all gonna know you too yeah so i know so i just like ugly cried and ugly cried like let it wail which point the crazed fan was like oh my god are you okay and i was like just held up my fingers that can be minute but like doubled over and then i stood up like when i felt it coming to an end like the first floor and then i like stood up and wiped off my face and i was totally normal and it was such an exercise of like if you feel it just let

it out really fast and you'll be okay let it out really really really fast there's a weird thing i will say there there becomes a point in your life when you're doing things and you become mildly successful and like everyone's on your team they're like go get it kelty you've got we've always believed in you but then when you hit a level that is like what you're feeling now or i think what i felt when i started working on television all of those people who were supporting you only two of them actually want you to be happy now they want you to fail so that you can come back to their level of being a normal human being and it's really scary for people they they want to say that they want you to be successful and they want your dreams to come true but it's very few

and far between the people who mean it and you just need to wrap yourself in those people and really there's a reason why celebrities and people like this make these little circles around them and don't really come out of them because it is like aggressive you know listen we love it like we i we love it when lady and comes up to us and they're like oh my god we listen to show or whatever and like i always love being recognized in public but there is something about you sharing your life with people and them thinking that they really know you oh yeah that is a trip well like in this case at this place like i had every time i had been to a bar like i would like just say like yes to selfies yeah people and like that was like and it becomes a meet and greet up until the yeah

and but that was like okay up until point that was this was like a month and a half ago and this was like the first time that like i went and then once i said yes to one person like i kind of got trapped in a corner just like a floodgates are open no into into the point where once i was like oh my god i'm just gonna run to the restroom like people got like no people got like upset yeah and then people were like following me yeah and then there was like oh my god and then like from that i like ran into this guy who would like totally like just freshly like hurt my feelings also and like a really like weird vulnerable new york way and so like i looked up and like he was right there oh no and and like and that's when like the elevator opened and i was like oh my god like this is your

chance just run away like just like run out and then as soon as i did so this was before the champagne spiral that you had no that was the champagne spiral because i've been like just i just kept drinking champagne like in the corner because once i realized that like once you said yes to one person and every because then it's like right when i said yes to that first person like everyone in this entire place which was packed shoulder to shoulder it's like no it was literally like the walking dead yeah oh my god like a noise gets made and everyone like turned over was like it is him oh no and then what happened was is after they would do like that's what you're talking about like but see i didn't know any of these people they were never like in

someone who i would have considered like had supported me because they were all people i didn't know but it was the first time where people like came up and take a picture and then like as soon as they took the picture would turn around and be like he's like kind of a dick or he's like way not as cute in real life or like yes whatever like they would just like say uncensored crazy things like directly in earshot of me where i could like hear like what people who like how they talk about you with if they don't know you or care about you or like when people come up and take a picture of you not even like with you they just like people were coming up and taking pictures of me like like at dinner but this was like all it would be so i was just like i just was like

I understand that is not okay to do like it's you know I think that it's a weird thing because it used to be like back in the day an autograph and you'd have to like have your book or like have your sharpie but now like a selfie is the currency of Hollywood and everyone wants to like you know and it's it's I'm also not complaining because it is like a lifelong moment of like it is exciting and it is like cool but like when you're doing like the reality of like at least right now in the season of like oh like going out to get a drink with your friend or like with your girlfriends like on a Sunday is like it's not like that's not what it's gonna feel like no yeah but it's funny George Clooney always said you know I people don't want to hear me complain

so I don't and that's like a it's a hard thing because it's like you don't want your celebrities to have any kinds of struggle like I remember some of my girlfriends were like when I first started on TV my job was amazing and like I got the great job but I was getting up at 3 45 in the morning and like it wrecked me i was like a disaster of a human i gained 20 pounds like just that schedule killed me and i would try to say to my close friends like oh i'm just dying here and they're like well this is what you wanted you know what i mean you bought into it yeah this is what you wanted you got the job a million girls would kill to be you and you're just like every single level whether you're god or you're us like or you know whatever everyone has their good weeks

and bad weeks like that's the truth so what do you say now if somebody wants to take a selfie with you when i'm out like so this is like i actually i do have like a new like little thing that i do in my head yeah well and in real life so like in real life like i always say yes like if i'm like at the mall or like whatever but i just i'm like i just learned like don't stop moving because that's when it becomes a thing so i'm just like walk with me act like you know me like and then if they're like what i'm like walk with me act like you know me yeah and then like and then and then like just ask and they're like can you stop for a second i'm like nope like just get the camera out like we're doing a walking selfie yeah like let's do this that's so smart and then like and

then that's like doesn't become a thing yeah but now my thing at the bar is is I just am like over the bar anymore well no like I have gone a few times like and I just don't do it in the bar now so like when someone comes at the bar and I'm just like here's the thing I was like I'm totally just like having fun with my friends tonight but I'll totally chat like you can chat like how's your day like let's chat because I am down to chat I just don't need tagged Instagram photos of me getting drunker and drunker and drunker and like less clothes and less clothes and less clothes um it's just like not so I just now when I'm at the bar I just say no unless I'm about to leave and i know i can leave and then i'll do like a couple yeah because it just is gonna it's yeah

but it also like literally feels it makes me not feel safe yeah because like once you a flash comes out like no it did like i don't like it so i just now when i'm at the bar and i know that i'm like not leaving a general vicinity yeah i just i'm like no yeah because i'm here like because i just don't do it so but i'm not mean about it i'm just like i'm with my brother no but that's totally valid well and you're gonna talk to people too so it's not like you're like a dick and you're like no and get away from me you peasant yeah now my brain just stopped no i was gonna ask did you always feel like when you were little baby you know hair guy and starting up in this business like you've always had this personality that's always been something had people said you should

be on tv you should have a show like before all this career and how did you get involved i can't imagine that you had like an acting agent did you like how did no how did they find you um it started with gay of thrones that's like how i started like getting on camera which was like a total accident um but do you have a beard like what no no no no um how i got a foot in the door to talk to the people who casted queer eye and the creators of queer i was because of gay of thrones yeah um and then once i did the audition um you were probably the first one picked i think yeah i don't know i don't know about any of that um but um i would say that doing gay of thrones because i've done it for like five years and i have like a different comedian and like a salon

chair every week for 10 weeks straight and we like you know write and produce and like i watch game of thrones with you know the director and who's amazing aaron gibson and the in our team and and because i work with like so many different comedians of so many different types um i think it's like really like it's made my brain learn how to like work really fast and it's made me learn how to like learn lines forget lines improv do things really really quickly not get too attached to like how things need to turn out and being comfortable on the fly but then like being able to do scripted stuff too yeah and so going into that audition when i looked around and saw everyone because i mean queer i was the first audition i ever booked like i've been doing stuff for five

years and like have auditioned so many times for so many things really oh so you had been like trying not like well i mean trying for like i mean for like the three guest spots that are written for a obvious gay guy a year yes yes like but i mean like the guest like roles like on this or that or whatever and not only that but like selling tv shows like i right have had like two shows that i um one was the makeover show and one was kind of like a news recap show both of which had like either shopping deals or serious traction with the studio where i thought that they were going to be sold or thought that they were going to be done and doing a thing like long before i did queer eye yeah and had and i've been in many positions where like i was in final rounds

for talking about for doing this thing or that thing or whatever and then it didn't happen or they go with someone else or whatever uh heartbreaking totally heartbreaking but going into queer i was interesting because once i did like the first interview and then i did this like uh televised or not televised but like you know interview on camera that gets turned into like a sizzle that gets sent to these people and they're like okay we like you we're gonna bring you into this thing of like 80 people for five spots it's it's like a weekend long chemistry audition of like all these guys and it was like you know we really want to see your personality we really want to see you mingle and like a little and so i go to this first like drink night and there's

like just wall-to-wall gay men like beautiful diverse gay men wall-to-wall and all of us had these like name tags with like our like the color of your category was on it's like grooming was yellow and you could see all the other new year competitions and they wanted you to mingle and really get along with each other and i'm just watching it was like watching mean girls like i was like oh yeah oh my god were people like getting in clicks and stuff very much and it interesting because all the categories were kind of like almost going with each other which was really yeah which was interesting like it was almost like we were like oh my god you're grooming on me me too like let's talk let's become friends yeah which in retrospect was probably not smart

for anyone but what i did what was so i mean i wasn't like anti-social but i was very much like seeing that first night and i was like this is like literally an unscripted audition like if this is the job you want and the second that i read the log line of like turning red states pink one makeover at a time i was like you were born to do this like yeah i come from a cornfield i got chased around pitchforks my whole life like you were meant to do this like this and i loved that show so much i was like and i'm so down for a rebrand of like whatever a metrosexual is um so like let's i was so in but i was like oh my god i'm like literally going to like slay all these gays like all of us want the same job oh my god and so i was like you're gonna have to kind

of like sit back and let these people like spin their wheels because yeah you could really easily just like go out too hard too fast and like you just like really need to save your energy and i really it was like the smartest most like intuitive like three days i've ever had because like in retrospect i really feel like i obviously like i booked it but like i very much could like see people like spinning their wheels freaking out getting in their head like doing the wrong thing and i just was like just stay calm like stay in your own lane like don't think about other people's things like don't freak out about these things like i was just really present and i like booked that job yeah but i think sometimes things are just right when they're right you know what i

mean it's like you gotta thank all the now all the things that you didn't get and you cried about and you're like it's never gonna happen for me those things are all blessings because like if you had been if you had been whatever hokey smoky bokey on whatever you wouldn't be such a breath of fresh air now and you probably wouldn't have taken it as seriously and like done the things that you did no that's what i mean like i could have only learned how to book that if like every failure that i ever had like i needed to experience everything that i did in the order that i did it right to be able to like get to where i am yeah are you an introvert by the way i think i'm an introverted extrovert that's how i am too yeah because i like love to entertain i love to like

be around people but then like at the end of the day like i have to be alone well even like talking about you're like saving your energy i'm like the only introverts do that yeah interesting um one hair question what hairstyle would you give your worst enemy one of the lady gangs wanted to know Probably like, um, no, no worse. Like I would do a, like a real Lisa Renna shag, like really, really, really like at the height of summer, like on someone who had really thick, thick hair and just give them the thickest, fullest bang on that shag. There's so much hair in the face.

What color though? Um, well, I just like wanted to be the most uncomfortable as possible. so it's just always like you can never really really really in your face and maybe like a bleach and tone like let's just fry that shit out just all the high maintenance just all the breakage all the overlap no no no no no like piss yellow like just chicken fat canary big bird bleach and tone i can see it now i can see it now just no violet on the radar just just blaring yellow like yellow yeah oh all right when we come back we're gonna get curious with jonathan now back to the lady gang okay we're back we have a little quiz for you

based on your podcast which we love i've recently started listening i love the episode with anthony that's a really good one i just love him i he i slept on anthony i'm not gonna lie anthony so i said it right i was gonna say i was like well you slept on him because that's not his name who is that i slept on him i watched all the shows and i followed my people on instagram that i needed to follow and then i did not follow him because i was like i didn't know i hate cooking and i hate food and i'm not into it the whole season i watched the whole season i was like i like you i'm a fan of you but not enough of a fan to follow you like a jonathan or bobby you know what i mean or a tan like i wasn't feeling like i needed to have a personal connection with

you only one you didn't follow yes i'm shocked me too he was the first one his social game is so good. I know, but I'm the opposite of everyone. Because he's so hot. But I hate cooking. I slept on him a little bit. I think it's also like, he's a really good writer, and like his captions are funny and entertaining, and he's like really good at food, and I really like his

stories. Yeah, he has good stories. Also, I'm on his stories and feed sometimes, so like that's also fun. But then I listen to him on the podcast, and I was like when he was speaking all those languages, I was like I've made an error. I've made an error in my ways. I do want a personal relationship with him, so I had to have a follow.

Now I'm a full follower. Full five follow. Full five. Oh my God, a full five follow. I love that. Right? A full five follow. If you're a real fan,

you follow all five. That's the only way to do it. A full five. You can't pick and choose favorites. I guess not. Okay, so here we go. Based on your podcast. Anyway, if you haven't listened

to Jonathan's podcast, it's called Getting Curious. You can listen to it exactly where you listen to Lady Gang and it's very, very cute. And it's a little like serious tone but I think some of the things you talk about are great.

Like there's things that you talk about that we would never talk about on lady gang and you do it in such a refreshing way it like makes it for the masses thank you it's a really good show thank you it's a very much work okay so first of all first question getting curious how you made your first dollar uh you're gonna answer this too jack um uh i taught uh gymnastics god what it was my first tour old navy actually too that's a lie i briefed legal cases for my auntie when i was like 11 what does that mean she taught this like law class and she

needed to like go through she needs someone like go through the internet like when it was like barely the internet and like find basically like legal cases that were like just filed away in like the illinois like bar and then like paraphrase them at 11 yes i was really in the current events in the news and we were in the i made a little company for her and it was called legal finders shut up that is so cute did you come like with your briefcase and a little suit a little manila folder and i would just like work in my mom's office and i loved it so cute it was so fun oh my god i can't even think like somebody my age could do that no i couldn't do that not 11 year old i feel like i wonder if my mom has that shit somewhere it was like really cute like in the

hindsight i was like very cute that's adorable she's probably like he's going places okay last thing i binge watched jack um actually probably queer eye cute you're welcome that's mine too and rupaul's drag race uh all stars oh that was really good that was a great one changela you were robbed honey she was really robbed and i do officially feel that and i also feel like what i would say to anyone who has rupaul's ear um as far as drag race goes i'm really over like i'm ready for her to send them home again yes like i don't think that if like this isn't america's drag queens electing drag queens next top model right like yeah rupaul's the queen yes i need you to wear the crown i don't like it when you know what because it's a little thing

that rhymes with like traducers right no i know i i think it's a bad mistake i don't like it when they bring back the old people to vote them up because it's so malicious and it's like oh yeah it brings up the worst it's just all vengeful and when he's like may the best woman win that's not true that's not the best woman that's the woman that's popular woman that didn't have to vote anyone else off win yeah and that's bullshit it's bullshit like this i am so over it i need rupaul to fix this and she and i just feel like to like do you think nikki minaj would have a competition show and not decide no like do you think beyonce would let the contestants no and also when you win the crown like you're the winner but you're not really the winner because

rupaul didn't pick you no and you're like you're a miscongeniality like not to take anything away from trixie because i do love trixie i like trixie i've worked with trixie i love trixie she's fine but she's great she's not a winner in my eyes but yeah and also like i just feel like another thing that is like story-wise from all stars and this is actually like i had to take a break to the point where like i'm not current on the current season because i was so put off by this the current season i'm not into i actually i think that you're the descent on x i think most people are really obsessed i don't even know who i'm cheering for miss cracker is who all the children want i'm feeling asia o'hara but okay see i love how like neither of us are caught up

but we still have our opinions no i'm caught up oh you are i just don't have like a horse in the race like i was very i when eureka was on the old season i was very much a eureka fan and now she's on this season and i'm like i'm not feeling you anymore i don't have a broken knee that whole controversy i'm not feeling sir jeff so i just want to roll pause right crazy but for the two people of the lady game that do watch we'll do a new podcast called gay of rupaul's director do a recap okay moving on sorry what did you binge watch last well i guess like real technically it would have been handmaid's tale because like the two episodes came out at once and i wait is it good it's you watch season one yeah yeah there it's really crap i feel both handmaid's tale and

westworld are really getting straight up into that whole like game of thrones season seven like it's like we're moving quickly now yes they're not giving us some they're giving us cheeseburgers like they're not giving us crumbs it's like here's a double bacon thick applewood smoked ass bacon plot point for you i'm so excited to watch it one thing i'm really good at day drinking the first thing that came to my mind was um sucking dick okay and one thing i'm epically bad at huh one thing you're epically epically bad at i'm pretending to be into getting fucked when i'm over it oh well i got so sexy on that on the both those questions

jack um that i'm bad at yeah she's like nothing no i have many things that i'm bad at uh uh probably mine might be the same yeah i'm a really bad faker we had a situation this weekend where we had to like go back to an email and be like we're really good at faking it and i was like no we're not no i'm terrible i'm like also i am like so adamant about never faking an orgasm like if you're not good at what you're doing i'm not gonna like blow your ego up and reward you like that no absolutely not yeah you'll know you'll know i'm well i'm epically bad at um breaking the rules and lying like i'm a terrible liar like you can see it on my face like when i'm like like i so maybe you're not into so maybe you're not good at i'm a no i'm horrible at

faking it i can't fake it yeah like i'm like listen that means we're honest guys we're just honest people i looked at my husband this weekend i was like i'm not having sex with you because i just got in this car accident he's like i would never touch you and i'm like good like i can't I'm really going another way where I'd be like I almost died worship my puss puss be careful of my arm

put your arm to the side you need to eat my puss puss and kiss her and blow on her this is what I'd say to him you need to be like she's been so happy that you're here and you're okay little baby girl

what accent is this I think we just found the reason the throuple doesn't want you over. Literally, the throuple was like, we weren't totally into having you over until we heard your sexy voice. He's like, I'm trying to have phone sex. Everybody's like, what is happening right now?

I don't like it when you talk like that. Don't say more sex, boys. Last one before we go to ask the lady gang. Three qualities that got me where I am today. oh i think you should go first god i hate not being able to think i love like non-sequitur but i love like where your eyes are in your face i know she's a special heart face well i like like where your eyes are in your face really like yeah i always thought my eyes were too close to each other i actually i love this the exact i don't know how to say that without being weird but yeah

i love the exact distance between your eyes but like with my glasses on or no before you had your glass on, but I like them with your glass on, too. I think you have, like, a very, very pretty, like, eyeballs on your face. Aw, thank you. Look at what Jack is wearing, by the way. Can we just, like, stand up? Show John what you have. It's really, like, Kylie, I feel like.

Yes. Yeah, you're just really, like, Kylie right now. Ooh. Like a Fila jacket. Love. Listen, I love the athleisure trend because I can pretty much dress in pajamas. I'm like, you just have, like, stormies, just, like, it's, like, with the nanny. Yeah.

It's, like, totally fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. My baby's somewhere else, I'm sure. Yeah, it's totally fine. what are your three things um uh where i got my own today um i don't know you go first ability to deal with rejection that's really no retentiveness and list making okay so all like type a things yeah i guess i'll say perseverance um a little bit of mine is luck

like i won't lie i was in like the right place at the right time when i started my business and sense of humor. Cute. My ability to disassociate. That's a big one. I would say moving between failures quickly is a good one.

Dealing with rejection is good. Everybody has to have that. You're wrong and I'm going to prove it to you next week! Yes, and then also probably just like my I think I'm a really hard worker. like my work ethic yeah it's true you can't get where you are without being a hard worker all right when we come back johnson's gonna fix your life hey ladies ask the lady gang we're back and we're back we're gonna have so many bleeps in this episode sorry no i've said f word so many times

today okay so for this part of the podcast we have our listeners writing questions and we're gonna give them some questionable good advice maybe maybe good okay our first question comes from Dawson's Dawson Creek Dawson's Creek does this have to do with Dawson's Creek no that's just the name she put all right it's been so we ruined lives in the beginning of the podcast people with the real full names and we like people got in trouble and then people like were like I heard the boss was listening to the podcast or the boyfriend or something now we get like a lot of anonymous we've actually had people write and being like can you actually take this out of the episode yeah well it's too late so millions of people have heard it sorry okay so dawson creek

says should i tell my girlfriend that she's my first and i cheated on her with a dude okay so this is complicated i've been with my girlfriend for six years both 27 female they're both 27 oh these are two girls okay she's been with a girlfriend for six years and she was my first quote-unquote but does not know recently and unfortunately i cheated on her with a dude i hate myself it is the worst i know please don't tell me about it should i tell her the truth which is that i wanted to experiment with the guy before committing to a lifelong lesbian relationship with her or continue on as usual i feel horrible for cheating and i really hate myself but almost feel like it was necessary to figure out my life and sexuality what should i do i feel like that's a

really tricky thing yeah it's kind of like for who like who like right are you do you want to tell her because you want to clear your own conscious like is this a decision that you made and it's one that you need to live with or something because like why are you giving this problem to her or do you not want to proceed because like don't you want a relationship it's like built on like trust and if you're not feeling that going into it because you know that you're carrying this thing i do think that like if it was necessary for you to experiment in that way then the correct thing to do would have been to have had that discussion prior to that yeah and if maybe if you weren't comfortable having that conversation with her we were scared of like

rejection or scared of like what she was going to think if you brought that to her like maybe you there is a need to consider like if you're with the right person period right because like you were keeping all that shame and that worry inside yeah but maybe not i don't know but i i think honesty is the best policy but do it with the energy because you're trying to like you know heal your relationship and where you're going together not because you're trying to like absolve yourself of guilt right and like the feelings feeling that way and like wanting to experiment and feeling like you're gonna get trapped out like there's nothing wrong with it it does come down to honesty like she should have probably said something to

her partner and maybe her yeah she's young yeah she's figuring it out how old is she 27 yeah but 27 she's been with the girl for six years so she's been most of her adult life she's been with the girl her whole entire 20s which i think is such a transformational time for so many major no it is and it's like like regardless of if you're with a girl or a guy it's like people have these kind of feelings any like anyways in a like a serious relationship that's maybe going towards marriage so like it's normal however i mean if it was me i'd have to i'd have to tell her yeah it's not good to go on with that i also feel really rude for saying back to her question to you like we can explore like what age is too young to talk about by saying like i don't need to like oh my

god anyways kelty shut up i'm so concerned with my the amount of boob sweat i have right now it's okay it's a safe place i know it's so hot in here but like also the drugs are making me so hot you have a hair tie do you want me to put your hair up no i have to go to work still it'd be the best ponytail she's ever gotten i know my husband's i have a i have questions about my hair by the way okay let's ask him we're back to no but we can get back to the questions now back to the question at hand anxiety girls next anxiety girl anxiety girl says it's not even hot in here by the way like i don't even have boobs how do you boob sweat i don't know just like here like i'll get under there it's also gonna make you hotter

girl just relax let me ban you okay anxiety girl says i've recently moved in with my boyfriend of four years last october we're each other's first serious relationship so we've always kind of moved at a slow pace because we're still learning a lot of things but it doesn't say i'm more of a home body and he likes to go outside more i can honestly say that i'm the clingier one but recently i've noticed that he's been out a lot and when he comes home he's tired so we don't really spend that much quality time together which is okay okay is it but i can't help it but i think that i bore him and he doesn't like coming home to me and maybe i'm not the kind of person he needs i'm not sure if i want to bring it up because i don't want him to think i don't

want him to go do his thing but it's really starting to bother me i know i have anxiety issues but am i just being crazy do i bring it up or not this is my life story i'm boring i'm a homebody i love to be home she needs to read the language of love yes if i love that book because it sounds to me like she's a quality time and touch person yeah and it sounds like that's not how he needs to receive and give love it sounds like he's probably more of an acts of service yep because he likes to go out a lot and like maybe verbal or something yeah I'm very much you, girl. I want to take our tops off.

I want to cuddle. Like, let's watch Chopped. Let's make food. Yeah. Yes. Like, why do we got to go see everyone? I do feel like the bar is for single people. Like, why are you trying to go fuck?

Yeah. Let's be honest. Yeah. Why are you trying to go dick down some bitch you met on Tinder? Thank you. At the fucking bar. You fucking dick. You know what I mean?

Stay your ass at home. I'm willing for you to put it in my fucking ass. Like, how dare you? What else could you want? Like, literally. Like, what is wrong with these people? Why is it so bad for her? I know.

Poor girl. No, but we've talked about this before because I'm a very much, like, I love to go do things, do activities. Death loves to be out. It's always, like, a vent. Like, I love doing stuff, regardless of what it is. And I, I'm single, but, like, my future partner is going to have to be the same type of a person because I wouldn't be able to date a homebody.

I'd get two-star crazy. Like, if you met a six-foot-three, muscly, gorgeous, you know, just got done playing football, but also as a doctor, I think you'd turn into a homebody real quick. She'd be like, let's go play cornhole and day drink. Really? It's who Jack is. I just, like, love to cuddle. Me too.

I love to be at home. No, I love, like, I love quality time and being at home as well. However, if it was, if this roles were reversed and I was dating her and she, number one, now you feel like you're boring him. So you're probably, like, putting off really insecure clingy vibes, which is going to make him, like, go even further away. That's true. Like, sometimes it just doesn't vibe with the type of a personality.

Maybe your guys' nervous systems aren't. Yeah, aren't aligned. Also, you should read, actually, actually, both of these girls should read Wired for Love by Stan Taken, that guy who I was talking about. Is this the guy you had on your podcast? Yeah. Does Jack need to read it? I need to read it.

Well, it's an audio book called Wired for Love, but then he wrote Wired for Love, Wired for Dating. Oh, no, I'm sorry. The audio book is called This is Your Brain on Love. Oh, I love that. And the written book is Wired for Love and then Wired for Dating. And they're all essentially similar subject matter, but it basically talks like the chemical reactions that happen in your brain when you're falling in love with someone. Because there's like these five chemicals that our brain makes, especially towards the beginning, which is vasopressin, testosterone, endorphin, estrogen, and adrenaline.

So like, and even men and women both make the testosterone and the estrogen thing. So it's like, it's this very intoxicating cocktail of drugs that your brain makes you literally, it's mother nature's way of making you get hooked on someone. Right. And then when you leave, the brain goes and withdraw. And that's why you get, like, want to see them because you want to get that hit of things. And then there's, like, the nurture thing, which is all, like, how you were brought up with your parents. So it's, like, how you get into attachment bonding, which is kind of the language of love thing. Right.

So it's, like, sometimes nervous systems just don't go together. Like, it could be, unfortunately, that because she is more of a homebody, she deals with some, you know, generalized anxiety. She likes to stay at home. Like, that's where she feels more safe. This guy does not feel safe at home for whatever reason. the way he was brought up maybe at home was chaotic for him or he really felt more safe getting out of home so those nervous systems just may not match up and as much as you love the person once you've kind of discovered that over 10 11 12 months which according to stan it usually happens

around a year when you are kind of like oh like people you always break up at a year yeah if you make it past the year you're fine well no then there's this other thing at two years which that's where the chemicals typically really in nature once a man has gotten a woman pregnant and this is like chemically speaking usually about two years later is when the vasopressin and the testosterone stop being produced as much and that's usually when like i always used to say that that's like when people uh start or stop sending the representative because like you've been sending the representative for two years and after two years that's where you really see who they are and and biologically that is it's meant for the man to kind of after two years be like

i'm good on you i seeded you yeah i'm gonna go spread that seed with like my next lady so chemically because so many of my friends have babies and then when their baby's two years old they get divorced that is such a thing and so what stan says is that lust happens from across the room less happens like i see you you see me it's quick and it's fleeting let's love happens like right in the eye so it is able to like come back like you can come back from that two-year thing but it might not be the same intensity but it's more interesting and long-lasting whatever he's so interesting that that whole idea of like and he really believes that like the like we always think the grass is greener but a lot of times like everyone is a burden everyone sucks like

he believes that really long-lasting relationship or as he calls secure functioning relationship is like i am agreeing to be your burden and i will do things for you that like you wouldn't do for anyone else and you agree to be mine i agree to be yours because essentially like you're gonna put up with the bullshit of each other no one else will put up with yeah yeah wired for love it's called that's the written one and then wired for dating everybody's gonna buy this now it's really good it's very interesting okay last question comes from i'm so sorry oh my god no that was so interesting i'm gonna literally go buy the book right now well not right now after we're done okay last question is long comes from molly molly says hey ladies i wanted to write in

and ask about how to defriend a guy when i just don't want to be friends with him anymore even though from his perspective he doesn't think the friendship between us is bad i've only been friends with him for a little under a year and i've gotten to hang out with him in person less than five times a few months ago i wanted to go to a live event and he was the only person who was willing to go with me since he lived far away he crashed at my place on the couch for two nights so that he didn't have to drive to the concert there and back in one day while staying with me i noticed he puts his arm around me invades my personal space while sitting next to me and a few other things that i just found odd since that time has passed he has messaged me wanting to video chat

or see me in person i just respond that i'm busy at the moment or have to do have things to do to get back out of the situation to be honest we don't talk that much probably once or twice a month at the most he's helped me through a few issues and i've had as him however oh my god and his this is so we can make this really easy i want to fuck you and yes he wants to fuck you according to aaron gibson host of throwing shade and the director of gay of thrones and like my very long time friend she's been teaching me this lesson lately if the answer is no like if the answer is no so in the case the answer is no to this friendship yes you aren't explaining shit honey we aren't responding to the messages you just press delete right like when i get these

emails and like my people pleaser is like i really want to i wish i could be there but like my schedule is booked i can't gum like it's like my may is gone june's fucking gone july's fucking booked the answer is no i don't have time and you don't even need to tell them no you just swipe delete like delete the email yeah delete the text message stop responding to him you don't owe him anything she doesn't owe him anything your people pleaser is running him up girl

just stop f***ing responding like he's not your boyfriend they're like no you don't have to say anything to justify any of your feelings towards this random fair weather friend

that you hung out with once just no twice remember in the quickie like a couple weeks ago in one of our quickie episodes my mere message was you can be a kind

wonderful person and still say no and that is the truth it's so true you got to like this is not your person this is a waste of f***ing time no and it's like

you don't even like him so it's not like you've had any sort of a relationship he's just some random And no offense, but to you, writer person, the length at which you went in that message to explain that situation in the first place lets me know, homegirl to homegirl, your people pleaser that lives inside of you is running amok in your life. She's in your driver's seat and what you need to say to her is, girl, I see why you are so concerned that everyone thinks of you a certain way. But here's the thing.

We're perfectly lovely women. I'm going to need you to get up out of the driver's seat. i your higher self i'm coming into the driver's seat you people please are are going to get in the back seat because you're making us like facetime facebook message dump well and the thing is it's like this obviously oh my god i just tried to clap it was so you just missed it i tried to do it i tried to do a clap because that was so inspirational i feel like i'm okay yeah i want to write that out as a poster no it's so good no the thing is it's like you're taking so much energy to focus on this situation like you need

to focus that energy on yourself and making yourself happy because it's like this is the dumbest thing ever like just don't respond and stuff but like yeah because really the question that you're asking is like how do i get out of it looking good still or no but really it's like i have this part that's so uncomfortable with saying that like i don't want to be in this situation yeah like when really like you just don't don't respond don't be yeah literally don't respond love you girl love you thanks for listening okay so um we know we're we're gonna be able to watch you on the new season of queer i'm actually not on the new season it's really weird i know that people thought i was but i'm not so you it's because nobody liked you on the

first season it was just so you were so like low energy yeah it was like this is weird no i will be on i was just so excited and um i heard from my sources that that's gonna be sometime in june in june july so it's gonna be before the summer that we get season two i don't know who told you that yeah is that true i don't know you can't tell us anyway that's just what i heard in tv world but usually i get the wrong information that's why that's why i only won one emmy out of three okay um but please if you haven't already gone and binged all of queer i do um but go right now as you turn to your next podcast and make your next podcast jonathan's podcast getting curious you can find it on apple spotify uh anywhere that podcasts are subscribe to

it it is a wonderful thing to listen to when you're not listening to lady gang is there anything else you want to pitch up you have so many instagram followers i feel like we don't we already all are following you on instagram jbn how did you get that did you have to pull some strings i didn't people did somebody did someone the team yeah the team did because gay of thrones wasn't going to work anymore. Oh, was he? Did he use to be a game fan? Yeah.

Yeah. That worked when it worked. Like time to change. Yeah, that worked when it worked and then it stopped working. Yes. And you can go on Instagram to see all of the workout versus.

Yeah. Like Anthony versus you workout moments. Oh, it's so never, it's very in conjunction with we work out together. I know, but like who can, you know. No, his body's very much more beautiful than mine always will be.

You're like, no, no, no, no, no. He's better. You know what's really funny about that is I posted this shirtless pic a while ago and all of these people were commenting like, oh, I see your... Because it was right after Anthony's Hanes thing. Yeah.

And all these people were like, oh, you're really jealous of his... I was like, I've definitely been posting shirtless body positivity pictures like forever. Ever? Yeah. Anthony's also like literally my best friend.

Like one of my best friends. Like I really want him to fly. Like I'd be super glue in those angel wings back there. But, like, I really want to be the one beneath his wings, so there's so not a competitive bone in my body with him at all. Also, I'm not blind. So that's another thing. That's it. This is the hard thing.

You guys like each other so much that now everyone's going to try to tear you apart like they're Spice Girls. Like, who's going to be Jerry Halliwell? I do have to say, like, the cutest thing ever is your guys' comments on each other's Instagrams. Like, it is so cute. And it's interesting because we just recently announced that we are going into a production on our TV series with E! And one of the things that we had when we started it was, like, we don't want to fight with each other. Like, we can't ever have us on camera saying mean things about each other because that's not who we are. We don't.

We support each other. And I think you guys actually were the people that were, like, like Queer Eye. Like, they love each other. They all are friends and they don't, like, it doesn't have to be Housewife pulling out your hair. And I love that about your show. it's very inspirational like as a group of people because it's hard to work

in a group a lot of times with people because you always like clash in some sense so it's very nice to like watch you guys we love you congratulations

thank you for coming and you guys can follow us at the Lady Gang at Becca who's not here Becca we miss you come back we miss you at Jack Vanek

at Kelty and we will see you next Tuesday that was so sad just the two of us yay yay yay

join the Lady Gang every Tuesday at iTunes and at podcastone.com. That's podcastone.com. Thanks for listening.