LadyGang - Just Us - Lookin Back at our 21’

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

Where did the year go?! Becca moved to Austin, Jac’s engaged and #sexymature was discovered! The ladies found out they were chuegy and that Brad Pitt may actually drive a car with his name on the license plate. Plus, find out what they are leaving behind in 2021 Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Canva: Get a FREE 45-day extended trial at Canva.me/lady  obé Fitness: Use code LADYGANG to get a WHOLE MONTH FREE at obefitness.com  ThirdLove: Feeling is believing! Get 20% off your first order at ThirdLove.com/ladygang  Zenbusiness: Get your business off the ground for as low as $49 at Zenbusiness.com/lady  Rothys: Get $20 off your first purchase at Rothys.com/ladygang with extended returns and exchanges through the holidays! Chinet: Learn how to spruce up your next gathering at MyChinet.com  Total Wireless: Learn how to do amazing with YOUR wireless plan at TotalWireless.com  Scream for Ice Cream Again: Learn how to sweeten up your sex life at screamforicecreamagain.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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slash pages slash lady gang for your own period care and get 15 off with code lady gang do amazing with total wireless get an unlimited talk text and data plan for 25 per month one gig at high speed then 2g total wireless do amazing a month equals 30 days terms and conditions at total wireless.com well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome to lady gang i am becca tobin here with jack vanik and kelty knight i thought for a second you were about to rip off your headphones and go to the bathroom like the old days and that would be would not be the first

time it really felt like that was gonna happen you know what it still might okay well uh i would like to kick this off uh because it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no so you know a couple weeks ago i talked about having a famous follower yeah yes me and jess alba still i still haven't heard from her it's totally fine yeah she's a it's rude very busy doesn't she know that when you follow somebody you need to send like an obligatory dm yeah say hello well i get i'm nervous because i want to like send her something but then it feels like what if she doesn't know she's following me and that will raise flags then she'll unfollow you exactly that's happened to me before no yeah with like brands i'll be like oh my god thank you so much

for the follow i'd love to work together and then it's like unfollow no because i think and i don't i don't mean this that this is what happened to you but sometimes people have the bots that like follow people yeah like automatically yeah and then we'll unfollow them if they don't follow back if they don't follow back followed back so you're still and she's still following you yeah and spend a little bit of time so i think it's the real deal okay well i don't want to brag but i have another famous follower oh my god nobody follows me jesus christ well it's not on the social media that you would expect but you know my in our investing app public right yeah it's like social media yeah investing yeah yeah and i don't know how i have no idea how i even

uncovered this yes but there's someone following me on this app who is famous what is it nelly great great guess why i'm figuring it's gonna be one of those people that's like was famous in the 90s and made some money and invested in an app okay who michael bolton with no way i would have never guessed that that would have been my last guess yeah let me pull it up for you i hope he's still following time love and tenderness know how to use it isn't michael bolton like 80 years old oh my god no michael bolton michael bolton is like 60 i think michael bolton can still hit it no i know i watched him in that stupid dating show that came on after the bachelor oh damn it did he unfollow you he doesn't follow me anymore wow oh he's 68 wow i thought he

was like i thought he was a great grandparent on 3-1-21 he said music's my jam but i'm relatively new to this investing thing what are some companies you're watching in the music and entertainment space wait he definitely didn't no no on his on his feed oh that's i'm just telling you what he's doing um okay well just get a long hair or short hair short hair oh the new michael new michael bolton do you remember he was with nickel at sheridan in when she was doing the desperate housewives phase like dating her yeah they were together i remember that i think still i think he had like a love affair with nancy odell because i remember one time i interviewed him for et and i don't know why everyone was talking about that i don't know what it was oh like he

really loved her and i was like yeah well who didn't he was with nicolette sheridan they were like a really hot couple i know it was michael bolton hot when he was younger look he's hot yeah it's pretty no he's hot he's hot in person he's kevin he's a little kevin costa that looks like kevin costa yes are you sure that's not kevin costa right yes okay i'm just making sure i'm thinking of the right guy he sings time love and tenderness come on you're so young okay anyway what's your bad week well i guess it's that michael bolton unfollowed me damn it what did i do did i trigger him i don't think did you invest in too much crypto he's definitely not even running that account that somebody is like he got a paid paid to do that and somebody else is doing it for him

so i wouldn't be that offended it's really dark well i'm sorry jack next at least i still have jess you and jess i can't wait for her to unfollow you when she realizes okay my good week is you know cryptocurrency no i've never heard of it before sure do um there is a new cryptocurrency called vanik no the vanik coin no it's are you trademarked it's spelt v-a-n-e-c-k so it's not exactly my last name but like i feel like we should all make this a thing and have the vanik coin take off and then we can all be rich did you invest in it already no i don't know i don't have any crypto i don't know how i have no idea it really stresses me out like don't i can't even start about nfts but like everything in the crypto world now you can buy crypto uh real estate so you

can buy fake real estate in the multiverse or whatever yeah but i'm gonna make jared invest in some vanik uh vanik coin this is my marriage in a nutshell this morning i was getting set up to podcast and i was like hey chris can i borrow your computer charger because i need two for my setup and he was like sure um and i'm sitting across the desk and he goes oh i'm going to the basketball game tonight. I was like, I said, Oh, at the new crypto station. And he goes, Ooh, let me check on how our crypto is doing. And then proceeded to look at his crypto app for like 15 minutes and never got me the charger. And I was like, I need to move on with my life. Can I get a fucking charger? Does he have a lot of crypto? I think, I don't know what he does. I made him a

deal. He's really into investing. I made him a deal that I could spend as much money as I wanted on my kitchen renovation. And he could have a chunk of money to invest in all his stupid investments so we invested in like some hedge fund and all i was like i don't even know where he put it but i was like enjoy your life i was like i will be getting full marble that i will definitely ruin with soy sauce the minute i start to make a stir fry you are i'm not sure yet wait you cannot have real marble i know you have you cannot seep in yeah seeps in you'll put like one lemon on that counter and you're oh you can't do that you can't do it no no no no anyway all right invest in vanik bitcoin okay coin or whatever i don't know how they think i don't know what they

do wow my bad week is i got a really uh nice diss in a dm oh dark from a lady um i just posted a video of me watching tv like i don't remember what it was this was a few days ago and the dm just said your nails are your nails gross me out so bad i'm so sorry that's the only thing she's ever sent me hannah and i didn't even have anything about my nails in my story what would show me the story what was it of well i can't honestly your nails are immaculate like i would be freaked out because i do think it was me watching the bachelorette i think with the extra long nails i always feel like there's a little bit of poop under there and so it probably is but there's a little bit of poop everywhere i know if you really want to you have them you keep your nails immaculate

so i believe that you're poop free i think i mean i'm probably you know they're literally our poop particles on your face right now i know but like i have very short nails and i have more dirt under my fingernails than you do and you have very long nails i try to keep them clean you know but hannah god i'm so glad it's my turn because i have been waiting to tell you guys this for three freaking weeks okay okay oh my god i'm so excited okay do you remember on halloween when I saw the guy with the B pit license plate. And I was like, I swear to God, it's Brad Pitt. We called Chris shell Chris shells. Cause there's a house for sale at the top of my street. Jason confirmed that Brad Pitt did not see that house. I live on a dead end street. I was like, there's

no reason that Brad Pitt would be driving to my house. And then we put it out on the podcast and everyone was like, there's no way it's really bad pit in the thing we put on the podcast. A lady Ganger sent me this article to Reddit. Little known fact up until recently, Brad Pitt had been driving a black U S SUV with a low profile license plate B pit. And it's even a lesser known fact about how it came about. So allegedly Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, and Peter Berg were all playing text them, hold them at Texas, hold them at Clooney's Lake Como getaway in italy and clooney and pitt were down to the last two clooney went all in pitt called where uh sorry i'm trying to like read the okay so anyway i don't know anything about this but

someone lost a bet someone lost a bet on there how about this instead george says winner takes the pot loser drives around with a license plate bearing their own name for a year fuck you george I'm in says Brad Pitt and he lost. And so he has been driving. It was Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt is driving a matte black, looks like a Range Rover with a license plate that says be pit. It was Brad Pitt in a Batman mask on my street. Wow. Doesn't Don Cheadle live up here? Oh my God. And Samuel L. Jackson lives up here. There you go. I think I, well, I actually, I don't know if Samuel L. Jackson, I saw him once on a walk, so he could have just been coming over to the valley to enjoy the trees but like usually like go on a hike near your house right yeah i mean if

you're walking up through the streets yeah i bet he was going to don cheeto's house if he lives in the valley don does don now reddit tell me this does don cheeto live in the high valley um anyway i was so excited to tell you guys that it was brad pitt what a full circle moment for your story full circle good week i was streets of sherman oaks are star studded you guys he looked so much like brad pitt i bet you he has like a girlfriend up here you think yeah i mean why would he be coming to a house it's only residential where he lives he's not going to a business he's in a mask so he's going to be social he's not in a business to a party he's going to a party and maybe like an eyes wide shut party you know so sexy oh my god maybe it was the sex party that i went to

where you have to wear a mask yeah on halloween a halloween sex party allegedly brad pitt was driving well i didn't go on halloween to the sex party but i went do you think he was wearing the mask to like be discreet be discreet license like listen it happened i love this in a flash it happened in a flash but i swear to god he looked me in the eye and his eyes said yeah it's me in a batman mask like i swear to god give you like a look he looked right at my face a look not a look but like a look like i looked at the license plate i looked at him and i swear to god his eyes were like it's brad pitt behind this batman mask like i felt it okay here's my bad week so you know how we always talk about how i'm a tornado of life yeah i had ultimate tornado i'm glad we're here

the house is fine i just want to tell everyone that everything's okay so i got home from this big trip to new york chris had been in new york for a month i'd been there for two weeks and we have taken we've bitten off as they say more than we can chew with this house we got a big old house in the Valley. And we really need like someone who knows how to run a house to help us with the house. Like it's just too much. Chris is not handy. I'm all over the place. It gets just too much house. So I get home, the pool guy, we do have a pool guy. He hasn't come for like a month. The entire pool is full of leaves there. I guess there was like wind storms in LA, like it was crazy. So the, and it's half empty. So I definitely have a leak in my pool and the pool is half empty.

And I was like, well, this is crazy. Like, okay. So I put on, I turned this lever that like refills the pool. And then I'm like, okay, I'm going to feed the lettuce girl. I'm going to like take the garbage out. I'm going to wash Callie. Like I start doing all that stuff after being away for a while that I start unpacking. And then I forgot about it. So then like five hours later, I come downstairs here in the lady gang office to get my Sunday night, like do my work, do my whatever. The entire room is flooded. I opened the door to the, so the lady gang office has a back door. That's not my door of my house and a big steep staircase that goes up. So like people can enter and they don't have to come through the house. The entire carpet is flooded. It's

full of water. I used every towel, every Branklet in my house, Blanklet, Blanket in my house to sop up the water. And I overflowed the pool so much that it was then leaking down the side of my house. And the worst part about it was that it was so full that it just had to keep leaking until it was empty enough that it stopped leaking. So Chris and I are out there. We've just flown at like six in the morning getting buckets and emptying the pool buckets baby every plant in my yard got some chlorinated water this week we'll see if they live like i was throwing water over we filled up the hot tub with the pool water i'm like okay the coyotes can have a drink out here like it was crazy anyway it's hard to be a homeowner that's why i said to jack literally

this morning we were talking i was like don't ever get a house like it's awful it's so much work oh i won't be able to so it's fine don't worry all right wow that's it brad pitt is real wow We just went for a ride. We went for a ride in the Brad Pitt wagon. So the holidays can be hectic, stressful, or downright uncomfortable. And I mean, uncomfortable in many ways, not just those jeans that are a little too tight, but like when your grandmother's asking you for the fourth time about your love life, or if you had a little too much champagne at the work party, let's give the gift of

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in the lady gang so this year was crazy i have so much information about the things that happen in lady game this year but overall lady it was crazy this year because you moved to austin in january it's a full year of remote lady gangness we had one show covid is still raging on yes jack got engaged um you had a new house i mean there's just been a lot going on so i just want to talk about some of the best things that happened this year to us. So the best thing in the history of that happened in 2021 was the invention of sexy mature, obviously. I mean, without a doubt, that's the number one thing when people are like, what happened in the world? Did JLo and Ben get back together? It wasn't the invention. It was the discovery,

the discovery of sexy mature. Thank goodness for your stupid app. I mean, I feel so seen and it's so funny because there's a woman who works for lady gang named julia who helps us with like our e-commerce and at the store and so she was helping us like write copy um for the clothes and we have the sexy mature sweater dress so she was like what's the tagline for this dress she's like sexy and mature and i was like julia the only people that know about sexy mature like the general population doesn't understand so when they see it they're like that's such a weird way to describe something yeah we maybe we should have thought about this if we're trying to go like outward with the lady getting clothes because we keep it too we keep it so insular

like like insular into that insular um yeah because somebody might look at that the name of that dress and be like ew yeah totally that's what i was thinking and i was like wait i've made it do you notice the names of anything you buy sometimes i don't ever i love i mean nail polish paint colors maybe but yeah sometimes yeah but it is a sexy mature dress it's sexy and mature so it has like a nice like conservative but like show a little skin neckline exactly like collarbone the other thing we did this year which was very important is we discovered how choogy we were yes that was at the beginning of the year or we weren't no that's true we were we were that was that quiz that we took was also like two months ago it wasn't the beginning of the year no that

was a way long that was like February I thought it was when we're all together it was we've only been together like two times three times Becca was here in LA I'm telling you it was when Turner Hooch came out and you were doing press yep remember when Tamara when she went on Tamron Hall and I was like yeah and I made you cookies I still had an oven I don't even have an oven I went to the store yesterday to buy cookies for you to make fresh baked cookies because I know you love them and then I was like literally in the aisle talking to myself I was like what am I doing I don't have an oven I only have a microwave you need a air fryer toaster oven Ooh, an air fryer, yeah.

That one that I purchased this year. Great, great purchase. Ooh! Mm-mm-mm. I love an air fryer. I don't have one. So we started the year with Meredith Marks. Okay.

She was our first celebrity of the year. You know what is so crazy? I went back to look at all of our guests this year. I'm like, everything seems like it's so long ago. Uh-huh. Like years ago. I know. It's crazy.

We really didn't have very many celebrities on this year. We didn't? The booking was terrible. Who did that? wasn't it guilty yeah it was awful um no but we had we had we did a lot of episodes just us which i kind of love yeah and people seem to love it but we had meredith marks we had lisa barlow chelsea handler hello well yeah chelsea handler is like the best guest of yeah i didn't need anybody else 2021 of probably of lady gang of lady yeah let's just put it out there um we had

lala kent give him the lala pre-breakup with her guy and we had theresa caputo yeah yep who did the reading which was amazing um we had tasha love tasha and that was great tasha is no longer with her man i know well i never always follow bachelor until unless we meet them and yeah what do you know what do you think i knew because what well because i go on the subreddit every night before i go to bed and the bachelor subreddit knows when a breakup is going to happen weeks before it happens because these people pick up on the tiniest little things like what just that like they weren't he didn't like comment the way that he used to they'll pick up on like these little like behavior things that people have and they're like social media is kind of bullshit unless it's

somebody's like behavior that they've been doing for i would be good at this i think it's great they're like little detectives i was able to spot two people that i follow this year who were going through divorces way before yeah way before can we pick up one still hasn't even been confirmed but i think that's my new job you know if you ever want to get into the bachelor just get into that subreddit and you can really put your skills to the test i cannot but yeah they know before it happened which is weird because they ran that they ran a marathon together like a week before they announced their divorce. They never got married or whatever. They committed to that marathon and probably trained together. They knew they had to do it. And it was like a huge PR thing.

Like everybody was like taking pictures of them. So I'm sure that they had to be like, okay, we need to look happy, but you can't look happy running a marathon. That seems terrible. I actually, when I was in New York recently, I was like, should I run a marathon? Oh God, you would never survive you would never survive my hips i can barely do a hike my hips are like oh my god you can't no that's literally why people train for marathons because you can't just like do it right that just seems like do is running even fun not really no it hurts my knees no i agree what's cool about this year of the episodes is that we got meredith and lisa really before salt lake city got so good on housewives like i just want to use this opportunity and segue to tell everyone that

Uh, yours truly appears in the new Hulu documentary, uh, about Jen Shaw. Wait, you do? I'm watching it. When are you watching it? I just randomly put it on. You haven't got to my part yet. Are you like, why are you on it? Do you have a talking part?

I, well, I mean, I speak, they used a clip of my interview with them from ET in the documentary. I got so many tags. I asked them what's I asked Jen Shaw, what's the most she ever spent on a party? And she says $80,000. Oh, wait, I did see that part. That was me. i must have not been watching the tv oh my god i actually remember that quote specifically it's like in the beginning yeah yeah i'm wearing the blue outfit i've been like right over you didn't

even realize it was your partner no my partner oh jesus that's so dark because your voice is like white noise to us yeah i actually like turn tune it out you're like oh no anyway do you want to have a guess on what was the number one episode of our year like the most listened to it's not who you gonna think it's not chelsea handler nope it's got to be a reality person think is it a reality person yes is it a housewife yes we only had two jen shaw i mean um was it meredith marks yes number one episode of the year number two allegedly we're sexy mature see people love powerful powerful title god it really was allegedly we're sexy mature it takes everything you love about lady gang allegedly what's happening and sexy mature came together we

really need to trademark that sexy mature you probably can't there's no way somebody has trademarked that nobody wants it you don't think no all right well let's get into it i'll do a little um third was sex with emily and monica padman great remember we had monica yeah we're so happy did you forget that no no i was happy i wasn't stoked that she didn't post about it she knows as a podcaster what that means to us and it felt shitty oh it really hurts my feelings when people don't post especially because we do so much work inside to make you a beautiful classy ass like cool thing to post it's so easy when we tag you a million times to just repost you don't even have to put the link just to repost yeah yeah you know wow becca's and listen

I feel the shade. Do you still listen to, or have you gone off that show? No, no, no. I still listen, but I have really been binging smart lists instead. It wasn't because of Monica, but I really didn't help. You're going over to the other side, going to the other side. No, I'm doing both. They still do an incredible job. And, and let's be honest, if anybody understands that things can, you can be so busy that you forget to do certain things. That is me. So she very well could have just slipped her mind. I know she's running that entire empire pretty much on her own, but you know, it's just within the podcasting community, there's an understanding. There is an unspoken world. You scratch my back. I scratch yours. Yes. Unspoken rule. Dark rule.

okay so here's my question for each of you and me how did you grow and change in 2021 jack um i think i've been a little bit nicer to myself oh i love that for you um like with like body image stuff i think i've grown a little bit in the sense where i'm not letting things bother me and get under my skin as much as i used to an example would be um i did this photo shoot recently and we sent the photos off to a retoucher the photos came back and the retoucher like completely retouched my face the shape of my face the shape yes like in a way where it was a picture of me looking straight forward so it was like not an angle or anything to the point where like my eyes aren't at the same level like one of my eyes is higher than the other like moved my eyes

to the to the same place like made my nose smaller made my lips bigger like changed the shape of my face and if I was at like any other point in my life I would have spiraled like it would have sent me into a shame spiral but like I took it and I was like okay I'm not gonna let this bother me I'm gonna like detach myself from like letting this like really get under my skin but that's something that would have literally like sent me over the edge seeing that like somebody else looking at my face being like this is what i think is wrong with your face and this is what i would change to make you more attractive basically yeah it was uh that interesting i put the pictures on top of each other in photoshop and like i went back and forth and back and forth

oh god and i was like well because i was like i look completely different i was like i don't think this is what i look like well here i think this is the opposite i love that like when my photo got over retouched i was like i'm so beautiful like i literally like this so interesting how it can affect you differently well because i was like this is who i've always supposed to be this is what i see when i look in the mirror like thank god the rest of the world can now see it well i have like i have like body dysmorphia with my face like i don't know what i look like and i think i look like a melting monster when i look at myself in pictures i look at myself in the mirror and i'm like i i look okay and then i'll see a picture of myself and i'm like i'm the most

person in the entire world it's not true yeah so then but seeing somebody else like change things about my face because i'm like you're changing this because you think this looks better it is like that's not great for somebody that is like going through like issues with their own like self-image um but i didn't like i took a moment and i was like okay yeah like if i can let this take me one way or the other and i kind of like paused and i didn't let it ruin my wow so i thought that was like i love that that's huge that's amazing i love that that's your what's happening to you before you get married because then you can actually like enjoy your wedding and enjoy the wedding photos and like not be so self-conscious the whole time like you're

going to be able to like really thrive i'll still hate them but that's okay live your life i'm not letting it like it's i can still not be happy but about it you know what i mean but not let it like ruin my day i think that that's where it's like the kind of like body neutrality yeah set of just being like i don't have to love myself but i can kind of just i mean i'd love you to love yourself but you know i love that for you i look at i now do this thing where i look at little old ladies and i think it didn't matter no it didn't matter for you did you spend your life worrying about the way you looked because right now you just look like a little old lady and that's great and that's beautiful i'm like and you're lucky you're alive yeah when i get to the point of being a

little old lady god willing i hope that i didn't spend my whole fucking life obsessing over the things that really didn't matter. Yeah, 100%. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by a very happy Mr. Chris Knight. That's right. Rothy's is a sponsor of Lady Gang and I just got him a brand new pair of white sneakers. And the reason they're so great, and I love mine, is that everything at Rothy's you can just put in the washing machine, hello, and you can just do the washing machine and they're brand new again. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com slash lady gang with extended returns and exchanges through the holidays. The other day he was like, are Rothy's really that good? And I was like, Oh my God, it's been years. I've been

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a 30-day cycle for shared family data plans begins on the day of the first line or device is activated. Any lines or devices activated later in the first 30-day cycle will receive only the number of days remaining in that cycle. Savings claim excludes taxes, fees, auto pay discounts, and limited time pricing. Source competitor websites, April 2021. You're listening to The Lady Gang. How did you grow and change this year, Becca? Well, I recently came to a realization. Two major things changed in my life. I obviously became medicated for anxiety and depression. But within that journey, someone recently said something to me in the last couple months that has changed everything about the way that I exist. so i used to go through all these med like meditations or if i ever had an intention or

a goal or whatever it was always to be more present to be more present and i just didn't know how to really do that like i just didn't really know how to be present but someone recently said anxiety is thinking into the future depression is thinking about the past and like there's a really neutral mindset that comes with being present and i think me trying to take a hold of my anxiety, like kind of the byproduct of me trying to not be anxious. Cause I'm reminding myself, well, you're going into the future. You're here right now has actually really helped me and been a gift of like being in the moment right now, if that makes any sense at all. So by forcing myself to be like, you're thinking too far, I'm like, Oh my God, this is what people mean when

they say to be present. It's not like, it's not being anxious about everything that's coming. Right. That makes sense. Yeah. The other change that I had was I no longer feel a desperation to prove myself, um, in my acting. Oh, because I got a really great job and I loved every moment of it. I was so grateful. But before getting that specific job, I was like really desperate to prove it to myself and to other people that I could work again. that you weren't like a one hit wonder or whatever exactly so I did that thing and it was wonderful and amazing but I also kind of feel like all right you know it was great I would do it again but I don't feel I have this completely new mindset about my acting career I love that because it's like as you're doing having these other ventures and doing other things too you can take whatever your acting career is now for what it is yeah it's like you can make good money doing it you can like explore your craft but it doesn't have to be you're living for the next

no type of a thing and you're out there doing a bunch of other shit that is honestly more important than acting anyways exactly and acting it like scratches the itch that i'll always have which is like the little kid who like to sing and dance and whatever and i know that i'm always going to want to go back to that but it's but for the reason the right reasons because i just want to do that again it's not because i worry that i'm never going to be able to get that next good job granted turner and hooch was not glee yeah but in a lifetime usually people don't get that twice i just wanted to at least get the next job again to prove like to like whatever that is whatever that represents it's really stupid and superficial but now i kind of feel like okay i love that

there's so few if you think about actors and actresses like there's so few other than like a meryl streep who get to have like multiple crazy ass like even the friends especially tv actors right like oh yeah it's like joey from friends is on man with a plan or whatever that show you know what i mean yeah i mean jennifer aniston obviously but that's like she's but she went on to be a movie star like she didn't even do another tv another hit tv show right so it's it's so interesting. I'm so excited for you. That's a great realization. Yeah. I think so too. I'm like, thank you. I'm almost 36 years old. It's so annoying that this is when I'm figuring things out. But this is when people figure shit out. Nobody figures shit out in

their twenties. Like thirties are like, hopefully, hopefully you start figuring it out in your thirties. As a woman about to turn forties. Um, actually that's, I think what I learned about myself this year. So I have dreaded this year because my birthday is in a January, January birthday. So I'm always so motivated January 1st. And then my birthday comes and I get super depressed because it's like, I have two new year flips over in one month. Like it's a new year and then it's a new age. And I turned 39 this year and I just felt like it's over. Like kind of similar to you, Becca. I was like, it's over the best Kelty has been. Um, I'm just going to now fade into the oblivion of my life and be unimportant. And like, I was really depressed about it. And

just the aging process of, it's not so much getting old because I feel like I do. I feel like I look beautiful for my age and I like myself. Like, I know that's like, I'm not supposed to say that but i do like i i'm happy but i was just dreading this age i was like it's over i've just been programmed by society to be like wow she looks good for her age yeah she looks good uh she's still killing it in a bikini at 40 like it's like you're not allowed to exist but it's been an interesting mesh of two feelings because i'm dreading turning 40 but i also am feeling the most centered that I have in my whole life. So it's like, I know that I'm maybe my best self at this moment, but also like all of society is telling me, this is, you're bad. Like you're a

rotten banana. Yeah. Let's make banana bread anyway. So I think what happened this year is that I had so many, um, I would say like medical emergencies, but like I had so many people in my life, whether it was friends or family be ill or sick or be struggling in some way, truly with their bodies not just like mentally like with their bodies like things were happening and it was like as if I know the universe does not well maybe we're in a simulation I'm not sure but I know the universe is not sending me shit just to like for me personally to learn a lesson but having everyone around me physically in their bodies be ill it's serving you yeah yes I went and saw my 92 year old grandmother who has an amputated leg and like I it was just a bunch of

things that I started the year dreading 40 and I'm literally ending the year thinking I'm so honored to turn 40. Like I'm so excited that I can squat, hike, love, run, health, haven't had like a serious injury. You know, like I I'm healthy. I like myself. I like my body. I like my husband. I like my friends. I like my life. Like what an honor it is to turn 40 healthy, you know, healthy and vibrant and whether my career or anything else is where I want it to be. Of course, I'm always going to wish for something more, but like, instead of looking at 40 as like it's over, I'm looking at it like what an honor to get old. Like you said, like what an honor that i've been able to get that i've lived yeah you know i don't know well and it's like i wouldn't

trade the mindset that i was in in my 20s for that body that face that anything yeah i really genuinely don't i was not happy no i was surviving i was having like good and bad like but i was not in my soul thriving like i don't think you know how to thrive at that age no well your brain is literally still developing yeah so it is kind of jack always comes in with the brain development your brain doesn't fully develop until you're 26 so to think that you're doing anything fully before that like you're not you don't have a fully formed brain it's so true so yeah i mean i think that it's hopefully we can all end up in like a mindset especially that you're talking about healthy. Like, and there was another question I think for this episode where I don't like,

what are you bringing into 2022? And like, my answer was going to be like, I'm being very proactive about my health because I think that's what COVID kind of like the lesson I learned from COVID is to like, you need to take care of yourself. Cause if you don't have your health, you don't have anything. So whether that's like, I'm taking my vitamins every morning, like I'm making sure that my gyno appointments are on time because you know, everybody has HPV and you've got to go every six months to like, I was having these like crazy heart palpitations and I'm like, I need to go into the doctor. Like I got to figure out what's going on. And I have like really bad anemia that I like never knew about that I'm finally starting to

take care of. And it's like those little things turn into big things if you don't take care of them. So it's like, if you don't have your health, you can't experience any of these other good things that life has to offer you. It's easier to look in the mirror because obviously I've done a ton of like stuff to my face and I feel like my face is lovely, but like the neck, there's really nothing you can do we talk i talk about it with rebecca all the time she's like go look at all the actresses like in the black and white era movies like they always had a shadow like or a scarf like with their faces stayed great and because they would like tape them back you know there's like there's nothing to do about your neck and i was like she's like it's turtlenecks

and lighting bitch and i was like okay but when i get up in the morning and i look at my neck and i'm like yeah this is this is gonna be a problem like this is gonna drive you nuts for the rest of your life i'm like well thank god do you know how many head rolls i've done at a party do you know how many dance rocket you know like moves i've done do you know how many how many hours i've spent talking like my neck has held up my giant brain for 40 years like be a little more thankful for your neck yeah be nice to your neck yeah even though who does it offend nobody nobody and nobody's thinking about it or notice literally no one's that's a big lesson i've learned in my 30s is like everybody's too far obsessed with their themselves and has their own

head up their own ass nobody notices the little things that you're obsessing about and also if they did nobody gives a i've never looked at a lady a lady another girl and like that had cellulite and being like oh ew and like focused on somebody else's cellulite the way that i focus on my own i'm like i literally like oh great it's a woman with a body like i've never noticed nor cared nor did it change my opinion about anything. So I think that's a big realization. Hopefully a lot of minute women learn as they get older, that like with your physical body, like nobody cares. Nobody cares. Um, I did want to ask you, what are you, what are you leaving in 2021, which you already said, and what are you like not taking into 2022?

What are we not taking in? Like what bullshit are you leaving? I mean, I guess we kind of just talked about it. That's kind of, yeah. I'm just, I'm like, I'm leaving the, I think this whole conversation has just been a reminder of, it really doesn't matter about anything other than how, granted it sounds selfish, but it's like, how am I feeling about this thing? What do I want to be doing about this thing? And, and there are times when you have to put yourself out and this is like a constant battle that Zach and I have actually as a couple is I was raised, we're both raised in the South. There's a very specific type of person who's raised in the South. And a lot of the time they're lovely people. And it's like, love your neighbor and go out of your way to

bring a casserole and say yes to any favor that's asked of you. Like if you say no, you're the biggest dick and no one will let you forget it. So you're raised to go out of your way to do all this stuff, but it's a very unhealthy thing for a woman. I think for men, it's wonderful. And Zach is the guy that you call that will come to pick you up on the side of the road with a broken down car. Like he's amazing. But as, as a woman, it, it's really hard to stop the people pleasing and stop doing all of these things for everyone else. But at the end of the day, the self-preservation is so important. Like I can't be a good person to anybody if I'm not taking care of myself and I can't take care of myself if I'm beating myself for being a loser when, you know what I mean?

it's like that sort of a thing. It's like, really, how do I feel about things? How do, what do I want to do about things? Well, it's like putting your oxygen mask on first. Like, that's how, like, you really do need to think about life. Cause you also can't be good to anybody else or do anything fully if you're not taking care of yourself and being the best version of yourself to put out there for the people that you love in your life. And a lot of women, like your biggest fear is to walk away from a situation and not be liked. A hundred percent. You know, that's not my biggest fear, but No, it's definitely not your, and I envy that about you.

It's a nice way to live. It's a nice, uh, like, no, cause it literally like, it like destroys people. Yeah. The people pleasing. Oh my God. One of my, one of my good friends, it's definitely fueled by a lot of like trauma in her childhood, but like she is an over people pleaser to the point where like she literally like destroys herself doing it because she cares so much about being accepted and being like liked

that it's, it's a huge problem. and like if you like me or not it doesn't affect my life that's the other thing that's crazy that i the realization that takes so long to get to yeah like i'm not affected like it does not actually change my life or you know like for me it's very insular it's like is chris happy are my parents okay like as my family are we okay like is lady gang good like you know like just those little things that even with friendship and stuff, like so many of my friends now have kids, right? Like we're just at that, like, I mean, and some of my friends have like 12 year olds, which is mind blowing, but they're very busy in their lives, you know? And I understand

that I'm not the friend that people are calling to talk about mom shit with, because when you complain to me about being a mom, I'm just like, cool. I slept till 10. Like I'm the worst. Like I'm a, I'm the memory of what your life used to be. And so like, it's, it's kind of weird sometimes in my friendships because people are definitely at a different stage in their life, but it's like, I'm good at not being that person for you. And like, I'm not offended that you don't call me. And I hope you're not offended that I can see you're in child land. And like, I'm also not reaching out because I'm in my land. But that also doesn't make you any less of a friend. And a good friend should know, you know, you have different friends do different things for you.

Exactly. But I'm just like the whole people pleasing or like doing things because you have to do them is just, we're out. We're leaving that in 2021. 2022 is about like keeping the stuff that works for you and creating your life around a healthy universe for yourself. well and there is i think it's a good thing to end on something like this there is a really good like inspirational quote which i usually hate but it's like if you're living a life where everybody loves you you're not living authentically enough oh yeah i just saw that save it on instagram bitch yeah but it's true it's like you're definitely molding yourself on anna roses yeah exactly that's why we all saw it she she loves an inspirational quote um but yeah i think that that's like a good thing to take into 2022 i'm really proud at what we accomplished this year and i love you both so much and we weren't nope we'll see you next we'll see you

next tuesday love you too thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's so great swipe up to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at theladygang.com and join our secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday.