LadyGang - Keltie Is a Godmother Now (Or, Introducing the GM)

Episode Date: September 29, 2026

Becca asked Keltie to be Meyer's godmother, and Keltie has some questions. Namely: what does a godmother actually do? Nobody in this group is baptizing anyone, so the girls set out to define the job themselves — with a lot of help from the LADYGANG community, who sent in godmother stories that range from hilarious to genuinely moving. By the end there's a new title, a yearly gift tradition, and a job description Keltie can live with. Plus: the yap challenge, why everyone is now selling a course about selling courses, and a plea to bring back being a little bit embarrassed of yourself.TONIGHT: THE PINK PAJAMA PARTY - 6PM PT / 9PM ET. We're celebrating the documentary The Pink Pill - aka, why is there a pill for their sex drive and not ours? Stream live in The LadyGang Facebook group or via your secret link if you were able to snag a seat!We have fall deals for YOU!Function Health: Check your brain and health! Join at functionhealth.com/ladygang and use code LADYGANG25 for a $25 credit!K18: Take care of your scalp! Shop at Sephora or get 10% off your first purchase at k18hair.com with code [LADYGANG]Klarna: Need a smarter everyday money partner? Learn more at Klarna.comClean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein powder at CleanSimpleEats.comNuna Baby: Visit Nunababy.com or head to your local Nordstrom!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, what is this? Welcome to the lady gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The lady gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse. Keltie Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vannick.

Hello, hello, hello. I am Becca Tobin. Welcome to Lady. Oh, my God. I'm so tired. Hello. You guys know who we are. And this is your first episode.

Don't listen to it because I have three brains. and this is not my best showing. But hi, welcome to the Lady Game. Yeah, this won't be our best yet. We're trying. It's going to be pretty good, though, because I have a big update for you guys. Oh, okay.

Well, let's hop in. All right. It's time for. Good week. Yes, it is. Bad week. Oh, no. Okay.

So mine is the reason I have the inability to do a proper intro. I'm going to be able to not, I'm not going to have word recall for the next. probably three years. It's really just so unfortunate. I'm grateful that I finally have my second child here. I was not privy to the difference between a term baby and a premature baby. And let me just say that this is the fussyest mother baby that has ever been in my presence. She is extremely temperamental. She is not a sleeper.

And colicky. I don't ask if she is colicky. Yes, yes, yes, thank you for asking. It is a hellish experience. And it feels weird complaining because it's like, oh, all you want is a baby. And somebody listening who still doesn't have their baby and wants a baby is probably really pissed at me. So trigger warning, I'm going to be bitching about a baby right now. And I'm still does not take away from the gratitude I feel for having said baby.

And I am even more bummed out because I had a conversation with a sleep expert. And apparently this baby is she may be two months old at this point, but developmentally, she's only what her due date is. So she's only a couple weeks old, which means she can't be sleep trained until the end of December. Oh. Uh-huh. Because develop... Happy New Year.

Happy New Year. For anybody listening, she was born July 19th. Mm-hmm. Ford was eight to ten weeks old when we were getting full night's sleep. So this is going to be a different experience. And it's just... It's not... There's no sugar-coating it aside from she's adorable.

I love her, obviously, yada, yada, yada. Like, this goes without saying. But sleep is so important. I'm not 25. I'm 40. I'm perimenopausal. I need sleep. I'm not getting sleep. And apparently I can't get sleep until the new year because developmentally, she is in incapable of self-soothing. So there's no point in attempting to get her to that place until said date. How were you doing your night feedings, like between you and Zach? We have like a decent system going, but every once in a mile I have a meltdown. I think the most helpful thing to do, this is just my opinion, if you have a partner who's not a deadbeat that's actually going to help you, the best way to do it, my opinion is separating it into not like you do this feeding, you do this feeding, you do this feeding, you do this feeding, because there's the time in between that the baby is sometimes not sleeping. So you're still on duty. So we're doing these like five hour shifts. Yeah. So like until 2.30 in the morning,

I'm on duty. So whether she's sleeping, eating, crying, whatever, that's me at till 2.30 in the morning. And then he takes over. And then obviously I get to sleep a little bit. But I have another kid to wake up for. So yeah. Yeah. So there's no good week here. Here I am. I like literally don't understand. I mean, women are superheroes obviously. But it is so crazy for anybody that has more than one kid. Because like I can't imagine how hard it is just with the one. And then. to then have a new baby and then a toddler. It's like, what the hell? Yeah. I think he's a toddler, but like, you know what I mean. Yeah. No, it's funny. Do you guys remember when Kevin Frazier came on and he was like yelling at me about how going

from two, from one to two babies is so much harder than going from zero to one? Yeah. Yeah. It's a different hard. So like, nothing will ever be the same as going from zero to one. Just the overall change in your entire life and like the now you have a responsibility that that's bigger than anything you've ever had. And you cannot, there's no, like, clocking out ever again. So that, to me, is still a different, a bigger adjustment. But yes, it's like the manpower,

the energy, the sleep deprivation, like all those things are much harder from one to two. So it's, it's all hard. Hey, spoiler. Kids are hard. For anybody who thought it wasn't. Well, I had a little not viral. I like to say viral if I get more than, 300 views on a TikTok. That is technically viral on TikTok these days. Thank you so much. But no, so

someone tagged me in this Reddit thread, Becca, it may be very calming for you to read, you know, I'm not on Reddit as much as I want to be. But there's a Reddit thread and the thread is called something like regretful moms.

Oh, I saw you post about this. It's actually, it's kind of sad, but it's really funny. of like the shit of like, you didn't tell me. Yeah, you didn't tell me this. Earthwise mothers, you did not tell me about this specific, crazy-ass shit that was going to happen. And it's, anyway, people are like, no, if you're on the fence about having kids, just go on

to regretful mothers. Wow, yeah. I mean, live your life. It's the thing. Okay. Jacqueline. Okay, so my good week is, if anybody out there is in a slump in their relationship. I have a big tip for you. You need to start writing a romance novel about your

relationship. I don't even know how to explain. Not that Jared and I are in a slump at all. We're doing great. But like there is, I'm writing a book, a fictionalized book about the beginning of our relationship on Warp Tour, yada, yada, yada. But like there is doing something for me. Like I've smut. It's first hand smut. I've been telling him it's emotional smut. Because like, Like it's, because this way, it's actually, I don't think it's going to be that smutty, but like very emotional smutty. And it's just like so fun to like romanticize these parts of your life and make them so intense and nostalgic and everything. Like I, it's really, really doing something for me. And I'm like looking at Jared differently.

And I just love it. I'm like, I want to live inside it all the time. Wow. Maybe Zach needs to write a book about our lives because we could really. capture the magic again. I'm about to kill him. Well, that's good. I understand that because also like your memory of something is always way better than the reality. Yes. I'm like actually, I bet when this was happening, I was like crying my eyes out. And like I felt so insecure and so shitty. And I was mad at so many people. But like I'm going back and I'm like, hmm, like what's the most flowery way that I can

write this? This is similar to me watching Ashley I on Housewives of Rhode Island because she and Jared, her husband, are just in the same shit that we're all in at this point. But she gets to go back and watch her on The Bachelor or whatever the show was a Bachelor in Paradise that she lost her mother in mind over this man. Like she can go back and see an actual representation of the insanity that this man, the love for this man, the lust for this man caused her. And that's kind of what you're doing, Jack. Like maybe we should all do this. This is what I'm saying. I'm like, it doesn't even have to be true. Just take like little nuggets of truth and then rewrite your own story. And then that is the key to life is a lie. It's like romanticizing motherhood.

Maybe that's what I should do about motherhood. Is at the end of the day, just journal all the beautiful things and then I'll wake up the next day and think that that's what actually happened. There is something to this. It's 2.30 in the morning, I have a colicky baby. And yet Zach's abs and the way he smelt as I rolled away from him to grab my colicky baby reminded me of musk. Our days in Big Sur together. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Well, it's like, you know, memories aren't really real. I mean, it depends on what you think. But like, memories are so subjective anyways and you make so much shit up to fill in the blanks anyways, you might as well just recreate it for yourself, you know? Right. You're in reality. Save relationships. Anyways, you should try it.

Anybody. Okay, so my bad week is, you know, I'm obsessed with my aura ring. So I've been wearing my aura ring. Love it so much. Not a sponsor. Not a fucking sponsor. A lot of airtime on Lady Gang. We've talked shit on it.

So anyways, I'm like, I do like this like yoga nightly stretch every night and I'm doing it. And I was like, wait, where the fuck is my horror ring? I know I've been wearing it all afternoon. I put it on after I showered. So I lose it somewhere. Jared and I completely throw our living room upside down because I haven't been anywhere. I've just been sitting on the couch and doing my little yoga and we ate dinner. It is nowhere to be found.

I'm going so far as to go trash diving in our trash and we had tuna that night. So I have like tuna hands trying to find my goddamn aura ring. It is nowhere to be found. Jared finally figures that you can do this like little Bluetooth test with it to find out where it is. And you can find it within 10 feet of you. So we're like walking upstairs. He's like it's disconnected. He walks over here.

He's like, okay, no, we're getting colder. So we're trying to find it. We come into this like two foot area of our living room. I'm like, it's not here. I've looked under the couch, in between the couches. And I'm like, well, where the, could it be? It's in your tits. No, I'm like, where could it be in my like, because my prenatal like vitamins are there?

I'm like, is it in the prenatal bottle or something? Last resort, I go to open it up. It is sitting in a, in my prenatal bottle inside the bottle. When you went to get the prenatals out, it fell off your hand. But this doesn't fall off my hand. I've worn this drunk in Vegas a million times. And then I go to reopen the bottle. There is no world in which my finger came even close to the bottle.

It was the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. It was like a magic trick the way that it got into that bottle. But I found it. Maybe the universe is telling you that before you have a baby, you need to stop wearing a f***ing or a ring. I can't. Because you're not going to get any sleep. No, you're not going to get any sleep.

You can't. You of all people, no. No, ma'am. I don't obsess in a bad way about it. I don't like, yet. But you're in control. Once my body starts going wrong. This is the thing.

Is that changing? You're going to be like, my heart rate is so high. Something's wrong. And it'll just be like, no, babe. I feel like you're growing a person inside of you. But I'd be like, no, I'm dying. I do hate when it says I have major signs of strain after I've drank. I'm like major.

Major sounds like I'm dying. I feel like I'm dying. But it really sounds like I'm like because what's worse than major? that's the worse it could be. You might be right. You might just feel so aggressive. You can't. Especially if you're super sick,

if you're super sick and nauseous the first trimester and like you're just barely hanging on by a thread, you do not need the reminder on some app that you're also hanging by a thread. You need to be, this is placebo babe. We got to be in placebo mode where you're like, I'm great. I'm good. I'm good.

We'll see. I'm going to wear it until something goes wrong. And then. Okay. But promise you'll take it off once you have that baby. Oh, yeah. Maybe. We'll see. If I had an aura ring right now, it would be so dark. Oh, yeah.

Weir, weir, weir. You're ready to score is negative five. Yeah. And right now I'm going off of vibes, okay? We're going off of vibes. Hot vibes. You're right. You're right. You're right. Okay. Talty. Well, my bad week is, you know, you guys are dealing with regular world stuff. I'm going to deal with fabulosity and bugs as I like to live. So, as you guys know, I recently redid my office.

And as part of that, my friend Jody designed it. And you guys haven't been to the house, but I had the most beautiful sheepskin rug. It was 10 by 10. And I got it on a Facebook marketplace, which sounds gross. But a guy took it to the dry cleaner and I bought it for the dry cleaner. He like restores old rugs. So I know Becca's face is already. It was perfectly clean.

It was gorgeous, gorgeous. And because I was obsessed with buying all like reused things for this. Anyway, it was so thick that it felt like you were like, like hopping onto a mattress. It was very furry and it just, it was the vibe was so right. So I was sitting two days ago and I'm working, working, working. And I have an ant infestation in my house right now just because of the rains in L.A. They're all coming inside. Down came a spider in the water spout. Out came the sun and the ants came inside. So I kind of started feeling shit on my ankles and I was like, these ants like they're everywhere. Like I just

know they're crawling on me and it's just become like part of my life. And so I'm like, huh, huh. And I had noticed a few weeks ago that like some tuffs of the sheepskin had been pulling up from the rug. And I was like, God damn it. This rug's already getting wrecked. This is so knowing. I'm like, why does that happen? That's so strange. I was like, I don't know. Maybe they're vacuuming it too hard. But I was like, it's a rug. You should be able to vacuum it. Like, so weird. So then I'm sitting here and I look down and no, no, there's like a moth. slash termite floating around on my foot. And I was like, huh.

So then I go down and I look in the rug. Oh, I'm talking the moth central built a hive. What? The layers of the rug. And the reason the tufts of rug are coming out is because they ate all of the hair, the base of the rug, it's like a holes in a sweater, if you will. So I'm looking and then I was like, huh. So the more I dig in, there are probably 17 million.

tiny black moths. And I look at, I squish one. I go to chat, GPT. I was like, what the f is this? And I was like, can I spray it away? And they're like, well, the only thing you can do is roll up the rug and put it in the freezer. And I was like, well, this is a 10 by 10.

This is not being rolled up. Then they're like, or you can vacuum it. I start vacuuming it. The bugs are flying up around me in like a tornado of bugs. No. And as I'm vacuuming it, the tufts are just coming up and you're just seeing the hive. And I was like, well, this is, so then what I was like, I cannot move my desk. It's too heavy. Chris comes home tomorrow. So I just close the door, left moth central in the office.

And then yesterday when Chris got home, we had to cut up my rug and roll it up and now it's at the trash. And I have no rug. I have no vibe. And I will be buying something that's made a polyester offrugsUSA.com or something. I'm very sad about it. It was disgusting. Was it an actual moth? What was The insect. They said that it was, they said that, hold on, I'll tell you what it was. They said, is it still, is it still in my history here? Bug and sheepskin rug. Okay.

It said that it was a, it's telling me how to get rid of them. Sorry. It's a closed moth. It's the teletile signs are their small, uniform, pale, tough band, no pattering. Combined with the sheep's, the moth doesn't eat anything. The mothballs with, right? Larvae do the damage. By the time you're seeing adults flying around, eggs are already laid all over the wood. It was so gross. It was disgusting. Okay, that's my bad week. My good week is,

oh, this is what I've been waiting to tell you guys. Oh, yes, please, the tease. We finally have closure to the celebrity that hates me drama. Oh, my God. I know you've been waiting for it. So do not clip this, Callie. This cannot be anywhere on the internet because we already have too many guests in the Facebook group. It has gone viral in the Facebook group. I have posted about this podcast, about the events we're doing, Lady World, my book. Nobody is commenting on any of my posts except the 900 posts that are saying, who is Kelty Talk? Who hates Kelty?

Who did Kelty piss off four years ago? There's so many guesses. Some of them are right. Some of them are wrong. I can't think people got it right. We gave zero context. People got it right almost immediately. I don't understand how.

I think it's obvious with context clues. It's not. Well, anyway, so I will never say because I respect to this person too much. And I did feel very badly about it. Even though, anyway, okay, so long story short, if you don't know, a celebrity hated me, I found out about it. I had to get rid of my whole team because we were all interconnected. And it's been very horrible on my heart. And I've been feeling two things, very, very guilty, but also very upset that I didn't get a chance to apologize. guys. So can I just ever, because I've seen a lot of comments being like, if I didn't hear the first part of the story, I need to know a little bit more about. Yes. Okay. And Instagram, the celebrity posted an Instagram post. Kelti posted something very sassy. Just stupid. Just stupid. Like it was dumb. It was a throwaway comment. It was a nothing thing. It was a nothing. And I found out that for four years, well, then I went to a poll. I found out the celebrity is upset. I went to apologize. I was blocked. Then I found out that for four years, my team that was her team, has been sort of not the most responsive, most on my team they could have been because this person was mad at me and they're much bigger celebrity and also like they're really good friends. Well, they make them more money. Well, they make them more money. They make them more money.

They're very good friends because they make them more money. Absolutely. That is. This is business, baby. This is not Hollywood friends. Yeah. This is not show friendsness. Show friends. So then I was torn as to what to do because I felt like I personally really wanted to apologize to this person, but how do I get to them? I can't DM them.

I'm blocked. I didn't want to have to send an email through their publicist because then the publicist would read it. And honestly, I didn't even, not that I don't trust the publicist, but like, I don't even know if it would get to the person. Do you know what I mean? There was like no real way. And so then I was talking to you guys and I was talking to you guys and I was talking

to Justin Sylvester and he was like, you absolutely do not bring this up. First of all, it was four years ago. This person doesn't even remember why they hate you. You're actually just reminding them that they hate you because they're probably over it now. But something in my heart, guys, something in my heart made me feel like, no, this person's, not that they're not over it, but also that like, I like them enough that I did think we had a special Hollywood friendship, not a friendship, but like a mutual respect. And I just needed to say my piece.

I needed to clear the air. I wasn't going to let them hate me forever. I was going to hit them. I'm writing the letter. I'm doing my thing. So I devised a plan. So I got the person's address, which is super shady business. But Chris Knight felt that finding someone's email address was more personal finding an address.

Because if you're a big celebrity, they've shot Archlectual Digit. Architectural Architectural Digest. They've had people at their house. Like it's not that hard to find a celebrity's address. It was very easy for me, to be honest with you. So then I came up with this idea that I was going to write a handwritten letter, but I did some shady shit with it. I wrote the handwritten letter and then I waxed sealed it.

So that if the housekeeper, if whoever finds it, they couldn't open it and throw it away, it could only be opened by the person. Got it. So then I got Kristen, who's from Petal and Flo. She's my florist. She's a lady ganger. She's my florist in LA. I was like, you have a, this is a big responsibility. I need your large bouquet is $100. I need a three times large. I need a $300 like the nicest bouquet I can get. Super beautiful. I need a calligraphified envelope that you do so beautifully.

And then I need you to come to my house. I need to pick up this letter and I put a letter in and then go to Beverly Hills and drop off this celebrity thing. She's like, I'm on it. Got it. So we, do it. And this was like two or three weeks ago, the drop off happened. She's like confirmed, dropped it off. The eagle has landed. And then I let it go because I was like, I mean, I'm not going to say that I didn't think about it. I definitely every three or four days, I'd be like, I wonder if they got it. I wonder if they read it. I wonder if they are even home. And I still follow this celebrity on the lady gang account. So I would go on the lady gang account be like, are they in Japan? Are they in Europe? Are they, you know, are they back home?

They were home, I think. And anyway, I was like, I just don't, I wonder if I'll ever hear anything. Well, yesterday. Sitting in my backyard, I got the most beautiful, heartfelt, wonderful text message from this celebrity. I couldn't have asked for a better response, forgiveness, explanation of, of why they sort of overreacted in this moment, love. And I'm so glad that I followed my heart to just apologize in a very real way. The celebrity basically was like, your note, I've been thinking about it nonstop.

It made me emotional because a couple things. Number one, I realize that no one who has wronged me has ever apologized correctly. And it meant so much to me. Like, people say they're sorry, but are they? Like, it was so thoughtful the way you wrote about it. So that was one. Number two, here's what's going on in my life at the time and why I was so extra sensitive. And this celebrity said, this is a me issue. I literally was blocking and hating anyone

who was saying anything about me at this time because I was like, go for yourself to everyone. Like I was just blowing up my life. And then third, I'm so glad like this meant so much to me because I have always had a very hot, a warm spot for you in my heart. And, I know that I look so confident and like I always know what I'm doing. But the truth is when I would see you on the red carpets, I would always be so happy to see you and come over to you and interview you because I knew you did care about me and you would calm my nerves because I knew I could just be normal around you. And like it was just so thoughtful and lovely. And the slate is clean. I just wrote back, thank you for accepting my apology, you know, like I.

And basically the celebrity ended it by saying, there's so much more I want to say, I'm sure the next time I'll see you, I'll just run up to you hug and cry. Like, it was so lovely. Okay. So, great. We're done. Okay. That's nice and everything. But like, at what point was she going to let the team know that they could stop punishing you?

So I think it's two things. Okay. So it's trickle down. And this is something that happens a lot in friendship. So I think this is a good conversation to have. This was trickle-down punishment. So my mind's eye, in my soul, what I think was when this happened, this person was very upset and complained to their friend, also team member.

I don't even know if knew that we had the same team. That wouldn't like, because I know for Chris, Chris is very quiet to his clients, especially his big clients about even having other clients. But do you think that your comment was bad enough? for her to just randomly be complaining to her? Well, she explained at the time it was an overreact. They explained at the time that it was an overreaction for sure, based on other things going on in their life.

So I think they complained to the mutual friend, team member, and we're like, this bitch, she can go for yourself. I was so good to her. I always interviewed with her. I gave her all these exclusives. She can f*** right off. And team member took that as Bible forever and never let it go. Now, person, celebrity, I think over the years was like, oh, wow, I really like overreacted and kind of forgot about it or whatever.

I don't think celebrity ever said to team member, you better fucking crush that person. I think it was an implied crushing. Like the way that we hate people that you guys hate, like when I was like, oh, this person did me wrong, well, Becca and Jack have to automatically hate them, the way you do in a friend group, you know? That's all fine and dandy. But like if the person you're telling me, it's just, it's not, it's not friends. It's like business, it's money, it's livelihood. And it's really like, it's not like, hey, give her a dirty look next time you see her. Or just like hate her in the group chat.

I don't think celebrity told team to fuck me. I think team just. Right. I think the celebrity, listen, celebrities are stunted. They are self-absorbed. They are little petulant children, most of them. and the world revolves around them. They do you.

Nobody's expecting anything from you. She doesn't know you anything. You don't know her or anything. It's like it is what it is. Yeah. Team member, a person who is responsible for not only her livelihood to a certain extent is also for you too. So that team member shouldn't have been a petty little bitch and heard that and then let that affect the business that they had with you and how they went on to do. And we know for a fact this person was.

doing things that now in hindsight, you're realizing it was a reaction to this person's upset with you. And that is not celebrity's fault. This is... It's a bummer. It's definitely a disappointment. It's been a very hard lesson for me to learn. So that person should send you some other flowers with an apology note, but you don't actually,

when you get it, you're going to do nothing and you're not going to write them a nice text. You know, I was wondering how Celebrity got my phone number. I'm assuming it's from team member. Obviously. So I was wondering, like, would team member reach out? But I don't think they will. And honestly, I'm ready to put this whole thing to bed. I did feel so bad about it.

And I just want it to be over. And I actually, you know what? I'm going to turn it around. I actually am, now I'm disappointed about commissioning for four years on this, but I want to say something. Sometimes when you have a breakup, in hindsight, it's the best thing ever. Because now I'm meeting with all these people about a new team. And I met with this guy last week that was like, well, did you, did you guys like, did you ever think about meeting with blah, blah, blah, this company? Because basically all they do is like big festivals.

and I don't think they have any female ones, but you should just have them do everything for Lady World and do lady worlds all over, and you don't have to do anything. And they could, you know, but they do this and this and this. And I was like, no one's ever offered me that.

And they're like, well, what about like, what if you made an umbrella and you pitch all these shows that you're doing under this umbrella? And like, you could like just, and like speaking, like, oh, you don't have a speaking agent? That's crazy.

Like you were doing all this speaking with Marshalls. Who does that? And you're like, you just do it yourself on an email? Like, it's just been, nice to like, listen, I don't know who I'm going to sign with on new team, but it's, it's maybe the best thing that happened to me because there's all this new energy. And it's made me realize that I don't think a big agency, even though it's so sexy to be like, oh, I'm with CIA or whatever. Like, I don't think a big agency is the best move for me. I think

having like a personalized manager who's just living, breathing, commissioning off what we create together is probably the best move for me. So I want to thank team member for the, weird way of getting me out of the team having a team and I can now move on to my new team. I'm so thankful for it all. I'm holding grudge for you. No, I know you are and that's why you're a good friend because I can't hold a grunt. It'll drive me. It'll break my heart. She has closed the door, but the door will always be open in our minds. And I am such a grudge holder, as you guys know. Because we're about to have, it's about to be the 20 year anniversary of my panicking. at the disco vmAs where I dance for panic at the disco. It's the 20 year anniversary of all of the

the biggest grudge of my life, which I don't even have that grudge anymore, but it's so fun to hold on to a grudge and just have a little something to hold on to. And so like, I have enough grudges that I'm holding on to and I just, you know. Yeah. No, I'm proud of you. I'm happy you had that kind of closure with this person. Do you think that's so nice? And it also, I always thought this person was great, even though they are a flawed human, for sure, as we all are. But I was like, it's just not, it doesn't make sense. Speak for yourself. I, I just, it didn't make, the reaction didn't make sense. I was like something's off here. So anyway, that's it. Excited for me. I'm free. The case is closed. Night night, night. Now I'm back to having zero celebrities hating me.

We'll see how long that lasts. As far as we know. next step becca decides if i am officially the godmother this week's shower thoughts presented by clorna as you know i am very invested in all of us being rich and really figuring out our money and that's why i'm so excited that we parted with clarna for a segment that i am calling the fine print of being an adult basically when and i think this is really important when all the big stuff in your life is handled the insurance your health, your money, then you can like stop and be the Lady Gang podcast

and just talk and think about the most mundane stuff that's ever existed on the planet. Well, first of all, I want to say this. Why do we park in a driveway and we drive on a parkway? Wait, so it should be called. Yeah. You park in a driveway. Mm-hmm.

Come park in my driveway. You drive on a parkway. And then you're like, hey, it's off the Long Island Parkway. I feel like that's the age-old question. Isn't that crazy? But that anyway, that's not my question. My question is, is it innate in our cells and our beings to have a junk drawer? Like, how did the junk drawer become something that it doesn't matter who you are, what socioeconomic life you live, if you're the most, even the girls from the container store or whatever have the, like everyone in their house has a junk drawer. And I believe the junk drawer chooses itself. Like the junk drawer, you don't go into a kitchen being like, this is going to be the junk drawer. The junk drawer, it chooses itself. Self appointed.

Yeah. And it makes itself. And then why in the junk drawer does everyone have the same junk? Yes. Yep. It's staples. It's twist ties. Shapstick.

It's a measuring tape. It's one of those really long lighters. Yeah. It's some old batteries. Gum. Yeah. Old gum. Old gum.

A screwdriver. A screwdriver. A screw. driver that is like bit off at the end. Scotch tape. A couple screws from an IKEA project you made once that you're like, oh, and like those little dibby dabs, they're plastic. They go on the bottom of chairs. Oh, yeah. Those are in mine. I just put them in today. Wow. Like it's weird. It's like of all the things that make us different in life. And they're never organized. Even if you try to organize it,

it always becomes an absolute mess. Because you're like it's just it's like, it's like, even with the little things, you're like, oh, I'll put all the clips here. And then all of a sudden something, and it's one instruction manual for a vacuum that you still can't use properly. Yeah. Well, it's like a miscellaneous thing. So even if you're organizing your whole home, everything has a place when you're so organized. Like makeup goes in the makeup drawer, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then there is always something that kind of doesn't, it's in a category of all on its own.

It's like us. It's miscellaneous. It's us. So we are the junk drawer of podcasts. Where do my ping pong balls go? Right. There's no like bin in my closet that says ping pong balls. So I guess it's going in this junk drawer.

Do any of you own a ping pong ball? I do for beer pong. But I'm like, it's definitely not going with my sports equipment that I don't have. It's going in the junk drawer. Yes. Yes. So anyway, guys, you only have the mental space to fight with a parkway and your own little ping pong ball drawer.

Klarna handles the money part so that my brain, when I'm thinking about junk drawers and like their significance, it doesn't have to think about my. money. Get your money sorted with Klarna so you can think about anything else. And anything else this week is zip ties. Clarna spelled K-L-A-R-N-A. Here's some fun stuff. C-A resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California finance law license N-M-L-S-13-3-1-N-N-N-A-Balance account required to be eligible for cashback points, limitations, terms, and conditions apply. Let's talk about your scalp. Is it oily, itchy? Maybe your hair gets greasy or limb between wash days. Mine does. Or maybe you get that buildup that most dry shampoos leave behind. Let's talk about K-18, a

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So check your brain health the way we do. Function provides 160 lab tests for $1 a day and member pricing on advanced imaging. Join functionhealth.com slash ladygang and use code Ladygang 25 for $25 for $25 credit. Now back to the Lady Gang. It's so funny, I posted a TikTok and my friend Marissa, who's a men's groomer but makeup artist too. She was like, I'm very concerned about how hard you're beating your face with your brushes. And I was like, everything I do is like at a 100. I can't.

It's all hard. So how many different TikToks did you make from that one makeup look? like probably 27. I'm doing the Yap Challenge. What do you explain to me what the Jap challenge is? Dude, I almost got sucked into the Yap challenge to it. I was like, no, no, no, no. Not getting me. Listen, the entire internet is now just people selling courses to teach you how to sell courses. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yep. So we're just, we're in a, we're in a tripod. We're in a lady gang. It's like me being like, Jack, by my course. Bermuda Triangle. Well, it's, it's literally just.

kind of like an MLM, but there's like no, there's no top person making all the money. But like, yeah. There's no convention with like Neo performing at the opening ceremony. It's just the MLM light. You can't win a car. No. No, I made a promise myself I would take the summer off and just like really enjoy myself. And then on September 1st, bam, I would start doing what I need to do for my relevancy and deals and staying, you know, so. So I basically sat down to do my makeup and then just started, I had all these prompts made for myself of things that I had seen that I wanted to talk about. And I just made them.

They're doing pretty good. So I also have tried to do, you didn't buy the course, did you? It's like $300. No, no, no. I know what it is. Yeah, yeah, same. Get on and talk every day. Okay.

So I also tried to do the same thing. And I realized something very important about myself. I am not, I'm not natural at all. trying to talk to a camera in front of me. Like, I feel like I'm natural in situations like this, but when I put a camera in it's like, I can't do that. I can't just like put the camera up and be like, just, yeah. It'll come off so naturally.

I like overthink everything. And then it takes me three hours to record something for 30 seconds. I'm like this. Well, I don't think it's really a natural skill set that like most people have that were born in our generation. I think like, I think Gen Z is they were born at it. Yeah, they were born with the camera in their face and wanting to be YouTube stars. I, the other day, was sent something kind of in the same vein.

This is not directed towards you, Kelty, but somebody sent me something about a guy that we know who's now doing like, he's like a shaman, right? And he's like really letting his freak fly fly. And he used to be pretty hot, normal musician, like, you know, bowl, bangable. And now he's doing like crystals and healing and all the things. not to say that that's not, but like, to me, my personal preference, probably not. It's niche. And I just, and I just said, I really miss the days where people were embarrassed to be themselves. Oh, no.

We need to bring back shame. I keep saying this. I'm like, it's getting too far. We got to bring it back. Yeah. Like, let your people, your inner circle can see these things. Like, that's okay. That you can be a little goofy, a little quirky.

But why does the, why? Why are we really just letting it all out? And I have to say, like, lady gang, we used to be groundbreaking because we would talk about everything. We were so candid. It was a way to really like unite women. It's gone too far, you guys. It's so way too far.

Now when people are mysterious, I'm like, that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. That's the hottest thing I've ever seen. I don't know what you're thinking. Oh, my God. Tell me more. No, because then you can just like place whatever you, you can project whatever you want onto the person. And then they become this like ethereal, untouchable subject.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I'm all about that. And if I could go back and start my keltying again, I would be that girl because I think it's actually cooler. But now I'm too far down the lawn now. I'm yapping. You're also giving the people what they want. And be like, you've never seen my kitchen.

You know what I mean? I mean, even Morgan Stewart's letting people see your kitchen. It's like it's the reason I don't blame anybody. anybody who's monetizing from social media, you kind of have to let everybody in. It's just how you make money. You don't make money being mysterious. I just, I wish it was like the everyday people

that just keep it in your pants, you know? It's like Chris Knight. Like people are so enthralled with Chris because he gets thousands of friend requests a year and accepts one. Yeah. He's like, oh, this guy, I went on this trip to Nepal wish. Should I accept him?

No. I'm like, damn. me like he's so crazy about like just no one knowing him it's it's actually so hot it international man of mystery yeah truly like right now i don't know if this is like a real thing or not but okay this like sierra miller is doing the emmys with e and i've worked i worked with her at the met gala and got to know her a little bit and then i was like who are we going to date next you need you know i was trying to evil genius her said you need a PR relationship and then i went to Jay Balvin's birthday party in New York

and he's friends with Shibuzi who I had interviewed before but never really knew and then I saw Shibuzi at this party I don't know his real name and he was so like fun and just like good time guy obviously was a party but I was like wait he's tall he's hot like he's country

like man and he's single and I was like wait you should hang out with Shibuzi she's like I don't know if I want to date a famous person I was like yeah yeah you do then the next thing I know she's in his music video Then she's posting her dancing with the star stuff, and he's commenting like, you're going to win. So there's obviously something going on behind the scenes that I'm not seeing. I will get all the tea very soon.

They would literally be the hottest couple in the entire world. Like, I want this to happen so bad. But Shibuzzi's a very like, he's public. You know what I mean? I do want for her for her longstanding life to be the star of the relationship. But I think it could be a little Beyonce-JZ moment. I think she can still be a star. I think that they're different types of people.

They're indifferent. it would be one thing if she was a singer or he was a reality star. Like, they've got their lanes. And I think that they could work together and have their stars equally as bright. And I think she needs a famous person to stay famous. Because it's, unless you're Dolly Parton and you are the world's most famous person, most talented, like all the things. She had her Carl, the behind the scenes mystery man, because Dolly herself was such a, such a star and was always going to be in the zeitgeist because of her. skill set and just her experience. Not to say that Sierra is not talented, but like she's talented

for being herself, which is a really hard thing to hold on to relevancy in this day and age where everybody is getting famous for just being themselves. So I think she needs somebody who is actually super famous, who is maybe in some sort of the arts, whether it's an actor, actor, musician, whatever, because it gives them more sparkle. Yeah. And she really, So good in that music video. Oh, I like, I die. But she's also like one of those girls that gives me hope because she is a transitional beauty. I mean, she's gorgeous, right?

But like, okay, there's two types of people. There's like the supermodels that like when you see them in rehearsal, the Victoria's Secret show or like Sierra at rehearsal, she's very pretty. You're like, you're pretty. And then when you get in the outfit and the hair and the makeup and you just become this smoke shows of all, like, it's almost like she, like, puts on a persona. She like, it's like me on the right carpet. I'm like, I put Kelty Knight on and like, like, Kelty Knight on. And she's like, eh. And like, you know what I mean? Like, I put her on and I was like, yeah. Like, I'm going to slag.

Yeah. She has range. Yeah. She's range. Speaking of range. Speaking of range. Because it's like, when we get glam, we just kind of look like a little bit better than ourselves. Yeah, I don't look. I'm like, I'm like, I'm kind of pissed what I put on makeup. I was like, I'm like, I look a little better. I don't look. look different in like a cool way. I really envy people like that. Yeah. It's fun when you like start seeing it happen in the mirror because I'll be like,

oh, there I am. And I'm like, ugh. And then like they, whatever they work the magic. And then I start seeing Kelty Knight come out in the mirror. And I was like, oh, there she is. I'm so beautiful. I do not feel that way of makeup on. There she is.

Okay. Speaking of Kelty Night, we importante. Speaking of myself. Speaking of myself. I'm feeling so stressed about being a. godmother. So I have dedicated this entire episode to having the lady gang be my emotional support, Godantees of my godmothering of your child, Becca. Jack, this is also going to help you decide if you want me to godmother your child, which I don't think you do because I'm very annoying. And I'll be

too intense for you. But I just want to say, as the world knows, I was incredibly shocked and taken back. thought you were joking, think you might still be joking, but then I was like, you know what? Here's the craziest thing about me. I've only been a bridesmaid one time. Really? Nobody wants me to, and I have lots of friends because I was bridesmaids for my friend Katie's first wedding. That's it, made of honor.

And then I've never been a bridesmaid again because Emily got married and Becca and and I were like trolls and we're like, we don't want to wear mint green dresses and be your southern bridesmaids. Did she come to the wedding and be fun? She never asked. She knew. She knew. She had too many people. She's like Southern. They've got seven and a hundred people. I was like, I'm good to not be on this list. Like I just want to come have fun. And then no one else has ever asked me. And that's fine. But I was like, because I was going to turn it back and be like, I'm not ready to be a godmother. It feels like too much of a commitment. But then I was like, no, Kelsey, your feelings are hurt when people aren't asking you to be a bridesmaid. So, you know, and I also have wondered over the years why other people haven't asked me to be their godmother. Right. You know, I do have, I think, the necessary skills, except then when I did a deep dive, I realized I don't actually know what a godmother does. Like, I think it's just being a rich aunt, but more. No. It's actually, this is, you know, I'm glad that we're talking about this because it's like we need a different term for it. Like, we need a contract. First of all, we need a decision here, Becca. Like, what's on me and what's not on me? I was going to say, Kelty made a Facebook post about this and we'll go through it a bit, but I was blown away. at the things that godmothers do.

I was like, oh, I thought it was like a, just like a funny thing that, like, you just say somebody is and then that's it. Right. Like if, if you Google what a godmother does, it's spiritual guidance, vow to help raise the child in a Christian faith and teach some Christian values. Anyways, ceremony, participation up the altar of the baptism, ongoing prayer, and for the child's wellbeing, moral development. Okay, here's the thing.

We have to come up with something. It's not a godmother, but it's a. something because obviously I'm not a religious person this child's not being baptized but it's like it's the guidance part that I love it's the um you know they say when kids reach a certain age the most important people that are around them are actually the friends of the parents it's the adults in your kids life that they feel comfortable going to when they're too afraid to come to you with something so that's sort of how I see it it's this role model this person that is like remains close with them when they can and takes the time to sort of like get to know the child

so that later in the child's life that this is another person like they have in their tribe when maybe it's not a job for mom or dad. And it's also, yeah, it's sort of like the fun auntie. Yeah. And you are already a godmother, correct? I am and we would we would laugh that like the Jewish godmother of Francesca, my friends John and Joey's daughter. But we don't do, did actually go to the baptism, but that was like the only religious duty that happened. So we have to define our own godmother, whatever that is. I also thought that a godmother is like the person that would take care of your kids if you died. For some people, they do that as well. But for me, I don't want that actually.

We have way too many family members who would be very devastated to find out that our child was being sent to Sherman Oaks. What a blow. What a blow. For all the ants. Don't worry about you, sister or mom. It's Kelty. The girl who's never changed a diaper in her life. Yeah.

Yeah. No, don't you worry. Okay. All right. So I asked the lady gang, how can Kelty be a good godmother to Kelty's or to Becca's baby? And Nikki said always help with the birthday parties. I don't think that can be on my list.

She's not doing that. Well, it's also like a lot of. these comments were people that definitely lived near the mom. Right. Like it's people that were like in the same city where it's like Kelty can't be no. But like Becca doesn't even want to do a birthday party, although she did surprise us by like doing some themed birthday parties. Like I'll go to the birthday party. I'll come. Ish. Like every five years I'll pop in. But I'll send an obnoxious gift. Like one time I sent my nephews that Katie's kids like one of those ride on mowers that's like $500. And like they didn't have room for that in their house. I mean. I'm pretty sure they sold it on Craigslist. But I'm going to be, like, I'll send that. Yeah.

When they want a PlayStation. Yes. Okay. Miranda said, I attended church until I was a teenager. My godmother was a friend of my mom's and involved in our church. She attended birthday parties when I was a kid and always gave me an ornament collection for Christmas. She didn't have any responsibilities. Could we decide now?

This I like. Is there a thing? Because you don't have a Christmas, are you doing Christmas tree? I think you hate Christmas trees. I mean, Zach, you know Zach. He loves a Christmas tree. Right. So I could do an ornament or do you remember precious moments?

Did you guys have the precious moments girls? It was like the little porcelain dolls and you got one every year on your birthday. Like one, two, three, four, five. Don't you dare. Okay. Are you sure Meyer doesn't want precious moments? Chotchke. No, but you should come up with something cute like that, like a yearly thing, a birthday thing.

Okay. Let me think about this. The Christmas ornament is cute. cute. It's like what you're manifesting for her year or something could be cute or something that represents her year. Yes. Or, you know, that could be really cute. Okay, here's an idea. What about if it's just a glamour shot of godmother every year that she's alive? So like it'll be one of those like dated, you know, you're supposed to put like your wedding photo or like your vacation photo, but it's just like 2006 and it's just me from the red carpet at E. And then like 2027 is like me and my

Sweatpants. I actually think this might be my idea. And you can hide them in the back. It'll be iconic. Perfect. Perfect. I can't wait. Okay. Morgan says, I think the biggest thing is just being a safe space for her to bounce things off before she goes to her parents. But make sure she understands that she has to tell her parents when she's ready. You don't keep secrets. My goddaughter will come to me a thing she wants to discuss with her parents first so I can help her find the best way to have that conversation. At the end of the day, just teach you to lead with her heart. Leading with your heart will never bring you the wrong answer. Morgan, can you? You mean my god, Morgan. Morgan. I love that. That's great. Wow. That's cute.

I could see myself being good at that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes. It's like she wants to drink or have sex or go on a trip and she doesn't know how to tell you because you're old and stodgy. Yeah. She needs to come to like cool.

GM, Godmother. GM. Wait. GM. You're the GM. Yes. Godmother. Wow.

She's the GM. She's the GM. She's the GM. child? I sure will. Will you be the godmother? I don't know. Yeah, that can be us. So it's like not about God. It's just I'm a general manager. I love it. That's so perfect for you. I love it. Here's a shower thought for you. Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? You would think we'd have different words for those things, right? And I'm able to think about this because all the things that used to take up my mental real estate, like my money, is handled thanks to our friends at Klarna.

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trust, check out nunababababey.com or head to your local Nordstrom to check it out. That's Nuna, nuna, nuna baby.com. Everywhere I go, someone says, as you age, you know, you need to eat more protein. But as we all know, I love to have four drinks at all times. Sometimes it's hard to get enough protein and also finding the right protein powder is very tough. A lot of them are very chalky and disgusting. And that is why we're excited to tell you about Clean Simple eats, a protein powder that we love. And by the way, they have the best protein water. which makes it even easier to get your protein and the flavor is delicious. Kelty's Mini Gridge is stocked.

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I'm just telling you what I have learned from this brand. There's no artificial colors, no sweeteners, no ingredients. Clean Simple Eats is undeniably clean, 100% delicious. Shop the best tasting protein powder at Clean SimpleEats.com. You're listening to the lady gang. Okay, Emily says, I'm the godmother to my brother's daughter. So far, I've taken the role of babysitter. Going to church with them, being there for when they need it, helping an emergency.

She's probably not. Visiting on weekends, absolutely not. Spoiling with gifts, maybe. She's my little bestie. If I were to pass away anytime soon, she would receive my designer handbag collection. I imagine my role will get bigger. She gets older. But right now, we're just having fun and helping her teach right from wrong. My husband and I don't have kids of our own, so we pour into our nieces nephew and God children. Cute. Cute. I do envision. Yeah, and I do envision this, well, because Jack's going to have a daughter also. And I envision a week at Aunt Kelty's. So, like, every summer, we can come to and have our own fun, but then maybe we're for like two nights. You might not be invited.

Right. And maybe for two nights, we leave them with the GM. And then you get to do take them to get their nails done, all the fun, like, girly things. So cute. That's, that would be really cute. Because also you're going to be in California, which is going to be so exciting for my little Texas country bumpkin daughter. Yeah. Yes.

I agree. And maybe I'll be in Mallorca. I don't know. Majorca? My York? Myorka. Wherever I'm going to be. No, I do want to say I have made a rule to myself.

I will admire to my will, but only when she learns how to say my name. Great. Great. That's my rule. The nieces and nephews, when they can say couty, it's couty. They get at it. Cute. Couty?

Because you know I couldn't say my L's until I was like in fourth grade. So I called myself couty. That's cute. Okay. Tabitha says, I have two God kiddos, and basically it's just a mama with the ability to spoil them and their parents can't say shit. Great. I like Tabitha's a name. I love that name.

Yeah, that's true name. Did you have any other backup names for Meyer that you didn't share? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you share them? Well, Zach's grandmother was Goldie, and so that was going to be one, but there's a lot of Goldies now. It's a very popular name. That one. And then her middle name is June.

and if it weren't so common now, we probably would have done that for first name. Those are the ones, nothing else. It was all family names. I would sometimes come to the table with a non-family name, and Zach would be like, it's a dumb name.

I hate that name. So, like, I loved, I loved Bernadette. Call her buddy? Yes, and that is like the cutest name to me. Very cute. And then there's something else. I'll think of it. They're all random, very random.

There's no theme, just something that felt, It looks nice in my heart. Myers the best, though. Yeah, for sure. Alexandra said, it's a great gig, Kelty. She said, I love my godmother. She was from the perspective of being a goddaughter.

She celebrates me, cheers me on, has offered me career advice, money advice. She'd take me on little weekend trips. I celebrate her on Mother's Day and her birthday. I hope to treat her with things in the future as I established my life. I'm getting married in a few weeks, thinking of her asking her to do a reading. I have a great relationship with my mom. It wasn't meant to sound like I like my godmother more, but it's very different. It's a big responsibility.

And I'm sometimes shocked by the bad choices I've made as a young adult, but she's very helpful. And like a therapist. That's sweet. Some people take this role so seriously. It really blows my mind. It's really cute. It is. Well, this is interesting.

Jasmine, I don't want to skip over this. She said, kind of not the norm situation, but sometimes being a good godparent is also about being there for the parents. Back in 2017, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and the first thing my godmother did was fly out and my godmothers did was fly out and shifts across the country to help me care for her, coordinate doctors appointments, keep things functioning like bills, groceries, just life in general. I was 21 at the time and my brother was 13, so it was a rough time in our lives when she passed. But part of it, what made it bearable is the fact that during our visits, they had made sure that all the affairs were in order, ensured that I didn't have to have all those conversations with my mom

on her way to passing. But they stepped in and took the burden of that. And I think I was able to spend more time just being with my mom. Oh, that's what sweet. I would be great at that, the GM. You would. I'm a great crisis manager. You really are.

I hope that doesn't ever happen to you. But if something like that happened, I would be. You'd be great. And I'm the perfect person because I'm not going to have any kids of my own that are like going to be doing things so I can fly in for a week. I'm going to be retired, obviously. You know what else you can help me do as a godmother is that when I'm a grandmother, I am not going to want to take care of my grandkids.

Like it's not, doesn't seem fun to me. So you can come with me and we can like make it like a fun thing. Like babies. Like baby grandma gang. Okay. Like babysitters club. Scenic Lobster. My oldest goddress 19.

Her mom, my aunt was always terrible of booking birthday parties. They would always put a deposit down somewhere cool a couple months in advance and not tell them. And then a couple weeks before her birthday. Aunt would always panic that nothing was booked and I would tell her, don't worry about it. We're going here. That's great. Hilarious. That's a real type A.

She said she was a competitive dance and I never missed a dance competition. Cute. Very cute. This is cute. Anonymous said, My godmother is just there. She makes a big deal out of all my little win. She celebrates me. I called her every first day of school

from kindergarten all the way through college. Even now, she hangs on my every word when I talk to her about my work or my life. She wants what's best for me, gives me advice, and she's not afraid to put me in my place if I mess up. She wants to spend time with me, and it means everything to me. She makes me feel important. Oh, that's all you want.

That's a good one. That's so sweet. That's so sweet. That I can do too, because you're going to be busy, because, you know, Ford will be busy. You're going to be running, you're running a household. You maybe don't have time to, like, like, the way I was underneath Jack's wedding dress, getting her ready for her wedding and, like, wanting her to add a boob pads so badly to her corset.

and then her putting it in because I was yelling at her, and then her ripping it out secretly without me knowing. Like, I could do that. That kind of thing. You're really good at that. It would be really cute if, like, Jack and I, this is, like, when the girls are older. But if we, like, did a first day of school shopping trip,

like you were, I remember being a young girl, and that trip to the Gap Kids. It was insane. You went to Gap Kids. You're so lucky. Yeah. You're so rich. You're rich.

I went to Winners, which is, like, T.J. Max, but okay. Yeah. My sister and I would go. to Gap Kids and we would have like our budget for the school year. But the most important try on was like what we were going to wear at the first day of school. And that was the most exciting day of my life. We'd have lunch. Oh my God. We'd go try things on. I would annoy the fuck out of my sister. Because all I did was dance in the fitting room. Like when I put something on that I liked, I'd like dance in the mirror. And she's like, you're the most annoying person on planet Earth. But that would be so fun if we did a L.A. trip for the girls' first days of school outfits. I love it. You guys are really, depending on me being financially stable and not blowing all my money. You will be. You will be. I think you can buy Gap kids outfits.

I think so. We can go to old maybe, you know. Yeah. They don't care. True. Becca Meyer's going to care. Okay. This is actually really cute.

Katie said, we got our, and I want to know what you think, because this is jewelry adjacent. And you know, Becca is picky about jewelry. We got our goddaughter. Also, thank you to the lady gang. Like, honestly, we've gone from talking about blow jobs to like, this is the best advice. It really did warm my heart. It's sweet. There was a blowjob post in the Facebook group yesterday.

So those conversations are still happening. We haven't lost our edge. Yeah. Okay, we got our goddaughter a charm brulet from Pandora and got her charms for big milestones like birthdays when she was baptized, family trip to the beach. That way she could hold something that showed where she was and we're cheering her on every step of the way in the different stages

like when she loved witches or Minnie Mouse. And now because of some adult, egos, she's not our goddaughter anymore. Found a mermaid charm I got yesterday and bald for an hour. Glad you're taking this so seriously. It's so worth it. Just never let shitty adult behavior ruin the whole thing. Oh, that took a turn. Oh, my God. I was going to say, you love a charm bracelet. That would be so cute. That is cute. I think it would be so cute. You know, I, this is why I wanted to include this one. It's an interesting thing. So my niece, Kaylee, is now 13. And, you know, when I was so excited to have her as a niece. And I might have jeweled her too early.

Yes. Like I, you know, I got her like the little baby gold bracelet. And then when she turned 10 double digits, I got her like a little diamond pendant thing. And like it just feels like she's into like shitty paperclip earrings from Hot Topic. Like she doesn't have, I don't know. So it's like the charm bracelet seems like a good idea, but maybe that's something you get at 13. Like I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely like a preemptive. Pre-teen kind of a thing. Mm-hmm. She was jazz, but she didn't understand that.

Like, she understood, but she wasn't like... Right. She lives in Burbank. She doesn't care about diamonds, you know? Yeah. Meyer might care about diamonds. She should. It's in her blood.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Last one. Lauren, in true lady gang fashion. Probably not normal godmother duties, but I have been tasked with getting my godchild drunk for the first time and take care of them, as well as helping them learn to roll a joint. I do not take this task lightly.

Okay. Hilarious. Okay. Don't you dare. So, okay, so just like an overview, Becca. Expectations of the GM. Expectations. Not a whole lot in the beginning.

You know, this is a very easy. You provided her with some lovely books, which actually was so sweet because you got this book for her before the passing of Dolly Parton, but you got her the Dolly Parton kids book, which is so sweet. Did you notice that?

some of them, I didn't write my name. I used my punch. You probably haven't noticed yet. But when you're reading on the first page, some of them came from me, but I used my from the library of Kelty Night embossed punch. That's cute. Gancy, fancy. Yeah, I think in the beginning it's not a whole lot. And then as she gets older, you could come out for like if you're bored and you want to come for a trip and come for a birthday party. She does have a great birthday. It's July. Like, as opposed to Ford who has the worst. I need to know her exactly. birthday. I realized I didn't have it written down. July 19th. And so she's what? She's a Capricorn. She's a cancer. Okay. Good. Cancer's are deeply feeling, deeply sensitive beings, which also you might

have to help me with because I am not and I am not going to do well with a lot of big feelings. Oh. Yeah, you will. You've dealt with us for a long time. We've trained you. She's like barely. And grudgingly. And the little girls have big feelings too. It's crazy. It's so, it's even already, I'm like, oh, my God, oh my God. Ford I could like manhandle and like put him around the house. And if I, if he's sleeping on my arm, I could reach over and grab my phone. If I make one little movement, she's like, eh. It's so dramatic.

The drama is palpable. It's already started. Oh my God. It's insane. So true. And then later, I think that we do our once a year trip to come see you. Yep. Have a little swim, have a little fun, do a little manicure, pedicure. And on those trips, you just start to build a rapport and then you have maybe a breakfast without me or something.

Those experiences that she can talk freely without me being there and, you know, be great. Okay. Well, I don't take this role lightly. And I love that we came up with GM. That's what I'm wanting myself. The GM. The GM. It's so good. Tell Zach. Okay. The GM of MJ. Oh my God. So cute. MJ's GM. MJ's GM.

Okay. Love you guys. Love you, baby Meyer. And this was really fun and really made my heart sore. And I'm not going to die alone. So we weren't here for a long time, but we were here for a good time. A GM time. Lady Gang is hosted and produced by Kelty Night, Beckettobin, and Jack Vanek with social media support from Callie Carrera,

audio and video editing from Jared Monaco, and additional support from Steve Delen meter and podcast one. Lady gang, it's Kelty. I would love to see you on my book tour this fall. It's going to be a really cool, intimate chat. I'm going to do celebrity moderators, music in some cities. I'm going to do a little self-help talk. And then we're going to do a personal emotive writing session.

I just think it's going to be really special. If you've come to a lady gang show before, it's probably going to be a little less chaotic, a little more like getting yourself together before the new year. Tickets are 35 bucks and they include a signed copy of my new book, the FM theory. I'm hitting Atlanta, Washington, Boston, Philadelphia, Chicago, New York City, Toronto, Canada, Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Austin, and Dallas. And I would love to see you. Tickets are available now at Fembook.com. It's 35 bucks. Come out and see me for the night. It would really mean a lot to me to see some of my lady gang girls there. FMbook.com and I'll see there, lady gang.