LadyGang - Keltie Is Annoying (One Star)

Episode Date: October 8, 2026

Keltie made the mistake of reading the reviews, and one listener summed her up in four words: "Keltie is annoying," one star. Becca has a message for anyone trying to tone-police her after 10 years of LadyGang. Keltie and Becca EACH have a message for Bravo and the girls get into why men love ponytails so much. Plus, Keltie discovers that part of chapter five is missing from the printed book (which happens to be the ADHD chapter) AND she shares how Summer House's Ciara Miller made time to interview her at her LA book event!We have fall deals for YOU!K18: Shop at Sephora or get 10% off your first purchase at k18hair.com with code LADYGANGMerit Beauty: Get Merit Beauty's Signature Makeup Bag FREE with your first order at MeritBeauty.comClean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein powder at CleanSimpleEats.comKlarna: Need a smarter everyday money partner? Learn more at Klarna.comNuna Baby: Visit Nunababy.com or head to your local Nordstrom!Progressive: Trying to save on car insurance? Head to Progressive.com today!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Podcast One presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood Girl Posse with Lady Gang Quicky. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vannick. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Lady Gang Quicky. I'm Becca here with Jack and Kelsey. Hello. Hi. When do you think?

Well, first of all, I want to say something to, you know, I did the thing that you're not supposed to do, which I read the comment. comments. And I want to say very sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. To, where is my person who said something to me about me? Whatever, your name is. Who said Kelty. The review was just Kelty. One star. Is annoying. That was the whole review. Wait on our podcast? On the app on the podcast store. Oh, no. Yeah. I mean, there's lots of bad reviews. So I'm not like. You know, I'm not dying on that. No. You know how I don't read my DMs from people that I don't follow?

Yeah. And they used to live in this little land that I just didn't open. Somehow Instagram shows me now, like they've mixed in those people into my regular DMs with friends. Really? Yes. Yours does that too? Kelty? No, I don't know. Okay.

So I have gotten now two, one former Lady Ganger, because she let me know she's departed. And then another one who does still listen, I believe, but gave me this like nitpicky note about like something that I said that was like could be taken offensively or like was insensitive. And I just have to say like if it's not, you know, racist, homophobic, hateful, like don't come to my house and tell me how to talk, you know? Like don't listen to the podcast if you want to give me like little notes about how I need to be more sensitive about X, Y, and Z.

I'm not a sensitive person. I don't cater to sensitive people. Welcome to the lady gang. It's been 10 years. My name is Becca Tobin. I don't give a. If you're offended. I was going to say, it's not like you've really changed your stride here.

And you've been the same person since the beginning. Exactly. So it's like, don't come to my dinner party at my house that I'm hosting with my friends as the guest. and nitpick the way in which I talk about whatever the thing is. And people are just hypersensitive, but I just think, like, I've listened to a million things where something has said that has rubbed me the wrong way

or something has said that I don't share the same opinion. Whatever the thing is, I don't go out of my way to then contact the person who said it because it's a podcast. It's a pariscial relationship. It ain't my friend. It ain't my sister. Like, let's all move on.

Well, and then you forget about it right away because you're busy and you have other shit to do. It's not something that lingers in your mind for days on end and angers you so much that you're going to go DM a celebrity. To do. Let me DM Amy Poehler today. Can't forget, in between me keeping a kid alive, let me let her know I don't like the way she talked about this.

Like, can I, I need to say something. It's going to kill me if I don't get this out. I literally saw Kelty while you were talking. It looked like she was going to burst. I know. You look so beautiful in a ponytail, Kitty Wild. Are you kidding me? I am so greased up.

Becca. It's your Ariana Grande era. Your cheekbones right now, you look like you're 25. It's the light that I have. No, listen, take the comp. You need to be wearing more ponytail. Carolyn Beset Kennedy, a pony, and then just do for a favor, could you just wrap it into a slick back little bun?

Morgan Stewart's style just right now so we can just see what it looks like. A little ballerina. Just a little ballerina. Like a lot of those supermodels wear that. I mean, no, it's the pony. The pony because your hair is long and it's, I mean, it is. No, Chris Knight loves a pony, which is sad. I had a bobfish. I think men do love ponytails because they think that they can grab it. And I think because most men are purves and it's like the closest thing to pig tails, but they can't admit that they like pig tails. Yeah. You look beautiful. Oh my God. Keep it coming. Jesus. What about me? Come into my DMs. Come to my DMs and tell me this. Jack, you look like you're going on tour with the Grateful Dead.

Thank you. Thank you. In the way that I, in the same way I am. Well, anyway, you look beautiful. Thank you. But what were you about to burst about to say? You were sharing a grievance. You know, I'm just wondering when bravo. is going to get the memo that when I go to a Bravo your verse event, you need to be putting a mic on me. Okay?

I now am famous twice for being in a scene and that's all I can get on Bravo. What's the second scene? What's the other one? Well, it just happened. You know, Jeff Lewis has his show

and I go on his radio show. I'm considered what they call a chump, which I don't appreciate, but that's fine. No, that means that people like you. You're a fan favorite. Well, yeah. You're like a round table person, but. Yeah, I'm like in, he has like his group of like 25 radio co-hosts.

And they're like the chumps, like the lady gang, the chumps. And we come on and it's like all these different people. And I very much like the serious, the way they do their like live shows. It's like so fun. And anyway, so he had an event. And so the back story is that I know everything's interconnected. So there's a chump named Doug. And Doug is kind of like a roly-poly elder man who is like a character actor who's just like so jolly.

And he's actually really good friends with my gaze, Dwayne and Joe. And I've known Doug for years. When Dwayne and Joe got married, Doug officiated the wedding and Chris and I were best men and made of honor. So like I there's a Doug trifecta. Is Doug really a character actor? What does he do for a living? He like he literally is like the guy that will be like, I don't know. He's a kind of roly polley.

I don't know how to describe him. Like in a fun, in a really fun. That's probably not the way he wants to be. What's his last name so I can look him up? Budin, like B-U-D-I-N. Will you look him up and give us his I-M-B? Yeah. Well, I tell this story.

Anyway, so Doug. So Doug is, for years, I've been going to barbecues at Dway. in Joe's house and they're like, oh, you know, Doug, he does that Jeff Lewis thing. And like, I don't know why, but I, before I was on Jeff Lewis's show, I wasn't in his world. Like, I never watched the original flipping out. Like, I missed that part of Bravo. So I'd be like, oh, yeah, he does this radio show with this guy. Like, I didn't know who it was. And then when I started working on E, obviously being at NBC and stuff, like I started getting into that and Jeff asked us to come to the show. And now Justin and I do it a lot. Anyway, did you find any credits for Doug? Oh, I was just looking

in his pictures. Yeah, let me get the credits. But do you get it? He's like kind of roly-poli. Anyway. Yeah. Wait. I'll get the credits. He's like jolly. Yeah. He's like he's bald. He's like Newman. He's like Newman and Seinfeld. Yeah. Very, very Newman-esque. He was on modern family, two broke girls. But these are like one episode, two episodes. Yeah. Yeah. He's like that guy. Yeah. Bones one episode. He would be like the, you know, the principal or whatever. Anyway. Yeah. Okay. So I. So Jeff does these chump mixers, which you know I don't like to leave the house. But in order to stay in the chump world and doing the radio show, you have to go to these mixers because that's how you like meet the other chumps. Anyway, so he has a new show called Still Flipping Out on Bravo.

And a year ago, this is before I cut bangs, it was like last winter. He was like, come to this chump mixer. And I was like, great. I brought my friend Marissa with me. and we went and I saw Doug and I was so happy. But what I didn't realize was that Jeff had a boy, he is a boyfriend, a new boyfriend, and he was there for the first time.

And so, you know, the new episode of still flipping out airs. And like, you know, when you go to these Bravo events, I'm like, they're filming a show. I'm just going to be in the background. Well, we know how that worked out when I admitted my facelift to a Doreet. Well, I'm literally no mic. I don't even have a lash on, guys.

I'm just like, I got to go so I can like keep this radio gig. And I walk up to Jeff and I was like, oh my God, hey, like we're here. Great. And I, and he's like, is this, is this, is this your guy? And I say something like, oh, my God, he's so cute together. And then Marissa says, oh, you guys kind of look alike. And he's like, well, tie's black. And it was like became this, like, it was really funny. Because they look like, they're like the same facial structure and they're the exact same height and they're the same like kind of dress up look and anyway, I know what she meant, but anyway, it got in the show, but we don't have mics on. So like, yet again, I, there was no other chump adjacent person making great television.

Like, when the fuck is Bravo going to wake up and realize that I'm a mastermind at personality, authenticity, and creating moments? All right. I want to take time to do a little segment that I've started called Things That Make Us Go Gray. I cannot believe we are at this point in Lady Gang where we are talking about gray hair. Like, we're Granny Gang, guys. I know. We always joked about it.

We're like, we'll be doing it until we're the Granny Gang. And then somehow that came a lot faster than I think that any of us expected. It's really snuck up on me. It really snuck up on us, right? It does. It's wild. So there's like so many things that make us go gray. I mean, group chats, when people are like just following us.

up and I'm like, I know, I'm busy. Booking a ticket on an airline and then them going back to rebook that ticket and the airlines like, you didn't book this ticket through the airline directly. You booked it through something so you don't actually have the right to do that. I'm trying to get my parents when they're locked out of their email address back in. Anyway. Children. Premature hair aging is generally accelerated by stress, chemical services, environment, lifestyle.

And we're so excited because K-18 now has one-nightly step, and you can get ahead of all of it. It is called Future IQ. It starts reversing hair age in three months for 19,000 more hairs, 70% fewer grays, plus an improved scalp barrier. What's making you go gray right now, Becca? Sleep deprivation. Classic. Classic newborn vibes. you know, just little sleep, tension in the home because nobody's sleeping.

And a four and a half year old is the little cherry on top. So I'm, I'm fighting gray like a saber tooth tiger. Is like your relationship with Zach like just off the rails because you have two children and you're so tired? Are you guys like kind of good? I'll just say that we started a couple's therapy a month ago. So that'll tell you, you know. Honey. I'm sorry.

In a good way. It's like more of like get ahead of it. It's like a preventative situation. But we started to see some things where we thought we know ourselves at this point. We've been married 10 years. Like we see where the train is headed. Let's do a little redirection. And we need help with that.

So we're on the upswing. You're literally the therapy version of future IQ, which is like we can see where this is heading. We're going to be gray and stressed out. So let's start now by putting this little dropper in our head. head every night so that we can help our scout barrier. Jack, what's making you go gray? You're not gray yet. No, I've noticed a few grays, unfortunately. Mine is kind of what my future will be by looking at what Becca is saying right now. So it's like, you know, I don't know. I feel like I don't have enough hours and minutes in the day to do any of the things that I do now. So I can't imagine what it will be like

adding a baby to the mix at some time soon. So I don't really get it. And then also, So the fact that I'm going to be going through perimenopause and having a child probably at the same time. So that's not fair for women. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be a tough. It's going to be tough. Do you guys know that I actually have my first gray hair saved in a journal?

Yes. I do remember this. I think I've talked about this. But yeah, I found my first gray hair and I plucked it and I taped it into my journal. And it's just so funny because it was like, ha, ha, ha, ha. my first gray hair and now I'm like no I can make a wig when was it from how old were you oh I was young I started going gray like I mean little sprouty gray is like early 30s damn I will say my temples I do think have gotten less gray since using this product yeah we've been doing it for like three months now right yeah more

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Let's hear it. So I agree, Kelty. You are TV gold. And, you know, it just goes to show that whoever's in charge over there doesn't know what they're doing. And this is another reason. I heard through the grapevine that there's a new show coming. And it's in that, like, I don't know if they're calling it a housewives, like part of the franchise. Well, they have like girls, lies, chives and Texas wives or something.

Right. And like, let me just, let me just, this is a two-parter. Number one, I am an original housewives viewer. OG. OG. I don't want to see Mormon wives style television. I don't watch Mormon wives because I don't like that type of television. I want classy ladies that are not like getting drunk and sloppy and making out with each other.

They weren't even getting drunk. Exactly. I have heard that that's what's coming down the pipeline with this Texas show. That's number one. Number two, this reminds me because you know hunting wives on Netflix with some a hit because Malin Ackerman and Brittany, is it Britney Snow? Yeah, Britney Snow. Yeah, yeah.

They like, they're two beautiful women and like the show's great. There's a murder. There's a blah, blah, blah. And it's, and to me, Bravo was like looking for that in a reality form. Sure. But this is where they got it wrong, okay? Because I've heard through the grapevine that there's some like making out among the ladies. Listen, no shame.

Go do what you want to do. But they're like married to men and I think this is all part of like getting attention, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. somebody recently in the business, Instagram or storied or something or threaded a thing saying, since, what's the hockey love story? Oh,

heated rivalry. Since heated rivalry, all these big networks have greenlit like three shows about hockey. Yeah. And they said, BTW, that show was not about hockey. It was about a gay love story.

It's a gay love story. So to me, I'm like, hunting wives is not about two hot girls making out, okay? It's, there's a murder. There's also, I want to see hot girls making out with beautiful lighting, beautiful actresses, beautiful costumes, beautiful positioning, directing, whatever. I don't want. I'm so annoyed that Bravo is throwing us gross scraps because they're trying to be like housewife or hunting wives in real life, which good luck.

or like Mormon wives where they're soft swinging and being sloppy. Like I don't want that. I want countesses and I want being designer. I want Giovanni. I want townhouses on the Upper East Side. I don't want this bullshit. Yeah. See, I unfortunately do want the bullshit.

So there is definitely. But you're not a Bravo girl. I mean, I'm not a housewife girl. I like the trashier. Bravo shows, but that's trashier. But I loved Mormon wives. Like, I like the trash because it makes me feel good about myself. Mm.

But I do understand your perspective where it's like they could have maybe brought in another housewife situation and we had some classy ladies that are still crazy. They could have had me and my friends. Exactly. But we weren't making out with each other. And we weren't, you know. Maybe you got to start being gross. No.

And just to like put it in perspective. There was a season of Beverly Hill, not Beverly Hills, O.C. And I texted Heather Dubrow and I was like, oh, you look so beautiful. And she's like, yeah. And she's like, she said something to me. And this is not a dig at La Jansse because I think La Jans does an amazing job. And she just did an amazing show in Paris for that like mid-level girl. Like we know the Love Shek fancies, the La Jans, like those brand stodd, those brands are like, they're never going to be Chanel.

They're never going to be Gucci. They're great. They're just not couture. amazing, but they are not that, right? And she was just like, I just didn't feel like spending the money this year. So I'm honestly wearing mostly La Jans. And I was like, hey, that's great for that brand. But I'm like, Heather, you have a job.

And that is to wear one of a kind shit you got in Paris that we cannot afford. Like, it's the Erica Jane. Even when Erica Jane on Beverly Hills is broke and her ass is getting sued off, she's giving us a vinyl custom Marco Marco that no one else can. have an ass. You know what I mean? It's like Jack Vanek at her wedding. Like Jack Vanek,

I, we cannot have her at her rehearsal dinner in like a fucking slip dress. No, she's in a fission hat and a platform shoe. Like, she's a scene queen. She's, she knows what she needs to do for this show, okay?

Yeah. She understood the assignment. She understood the assignment. Like, I am not, you know, I just, it's like Aaron Leachie on New York. Like, thank God she's got great confessional looks because this season is not great. But it's like, now I'm wearing six dress shirts in a row as my outfit because of her. Like, give me something. I know.

Give us something. Don't give us garbage. I was wearing a Chanel jacket. I got in Paris to the chump mixer, okay? Okay. I sat next to Shannon Bador and I was like... Is she a chump? She's a chump.

There's like Crystal Minkoff. There's like different House YVy people adjacent. Like Meredith Marks is a chump. Like all those people. There's like a really funny BTS that Joey Zalzig took and he's also a chump. He's like an influencer. I love him. But it was like me and Shannon Badoor and Joey.

And I'm like two out of three of these people had a facelift this year. Anyway. It's just fun to be out there. Anyway, Bravo, put a mic on your girl. Like, she's ready. I mean, yeah, this is their biggest failure. It's not seeing the potential in you. Okay, I have a...

Sorry, I have one more thing. But now I'm just thinking about Malibu Girl 28 on the Apple thing saying I'm annoying because I'm talking so much. Who cares? Jack, do you have a story? No. I don't.

Okay. I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you a story. I might cry. Uh-oh. This is very near and dear to my heart. But I want to tell this story because it shows how much I've grown in the past year and how I have grown over the decade that you guys have known me. I want to take you back to perfectionist Kelty. Kelty who would cry if the spreadsheet was wrong, if someone was two minutes late, if the file was encrypted, if she didn't make the New York Times left on the side of the street in Atlanta. It was dark. I want you to think about her for a minute. Like I just really think about her. And then think about me in the booth recording my audiobook. I'm recording, I'm recording. And I'm literally like, I'm recording the audiobook. And my

audiobook producer is like, wow, you're really good at this. And I was like, you say that to all the girls. And she goes, no, you're really great. And they're like, we're so far ahead. We're going to cancel your recording on Friday because you're doing so great. She's like, the way you're talking and telling the stories are so great. And then I got, now, the iPad that I'm reading off of is the final printed. It's an iPad, but it's the final printed version of the book. Oh, so scared. Oh, you should be terrified. When you write a book, when you write the book, you do so many drafts and they're like a Google Doc. And then you do your final book, a thing. And then they do what's called a line edit, which the line edit is when the person who actually knows how to speak English goes through and is like, hey, that's not a word. Hey, like that doesn't make sense. Like, where's your period? Yeah, exactly. I can't imagine how many of those there were in your book, Kelty. So many. And some of them,

they let me keep. They're like, we don't think this is a word, but we know what you're trying to mean. Stylistic. Like I was like, three did like three-ish or stuff like that. Anyway, okay, so then you do the line. Then they do like the arc version and then they do a final layout version. So there's, I mean, there's so many. edits and there's so many chances to catch a mistake. I just want to put that there. So I'm in the booth and I'm like, I took my Adderall. I'm like, laser. Do you want lunch? I was like, no, I want to keep reading. And I'm like, do you want hot tea? I'm like, I've got my diet Coke from 7.11. I got a big, big gulp, you know, extra big gulp. I'm just cruising, right? Now that I got the right prescription of my glasses, I can really see. Like, I am cruising through this audio

book. And then I get to chapter five. And chapter five begins with, but, and I was like, huh, guys, I got to be honest with you. I think we have the wrong version of the book. And they're like, what do you mean? I was like, well, no one would, there's half of this chapter is missing. And they're like, what do you mean? I was like, well, no one would, it says, but my brain wasn't working anymore. I was like, there was a whole part about like, I'm known for being so K-type and being able to do 100 things at one time and being so quick to respond to everyone and, like, can get shit done. But my brain, my magic was broken is like what the chapter's about, you know? And they're like, oh, God, she goes back and she goes, oh, I'm looking at the arc version.

No, it's not there either. So then I take a moment to open the hardcover, printed, ready to be sent off to the retailer's version. Guys, we got a little bit of a problem. It starts with butt. Just a little bit of chapter five is missing. How much, like one paragraph or like pages? It's like two paragraphs. It really sets up the scene.

So basically it's the entire chapter of me getting like diagnosed with ADHD. And I'm basically, it's like the whole setup of me saying, this is why like my brain is so magical, all of these things. And like, I've been this person. It's my secret sauce. But my magic was broken and I started melting down. I was forgetting things. I couldn't remember things.

I think this is appropriate for the ADHD chapter. I know. I was like, I also think that maybe people will be like, oh, I'm getting what she's trying to do here, you know? Just being dropped into the mania. Yeah, yeah. It's not making sense, but maybe that's like what she meant. It's symbolic.

How did this happen? Well, I skimmed the book. Yeah. But did everybody else skim it too? It was in, so the lady, the woman doing my audiobook, she's like going back through all the versions. And she's like, oh, I see it here. It was in four versions ago.

And somehow when they copy and paste it over this, the version to like, whatever next version, that piece got dropped. And then because it's not. like when you're reading it, you're just like reading it. You know what I mean? And then it wasn't until I was reading it out loud that it was so blatantly missing. And I think any editor, I mean, listen, should the editor have been like who would start a paragraph of a new chapter? Couldn't they just put this into AI and AI would have caught this in four seconds? Well, no, I don't think it would have, Becca, because the writing is correct. The, like, AI doesn't know your soul.

It doesn't know that my brain is great. It doesn't know that there's... But I wonder if you could put in like a bunch of different versions to AI. Like here's this version. Here's this one. Like what are we missing? I know. Here's a shower thought for you.

Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? You would think we'd have different words for those things, right? And I'm able to think about this because all the things that used to take up my mental real estate, like my money, is handled. Thanks to our friends at Klarna. Klarna is your smarter, everyday money partner built on a simple. idea. Money should work with people, not against them. Everything's in one place. So if you want to get better with handling your money, it starts with choosing the tools that are right for you. Get your money started with Klarna. So you can think about other things like the word inflammable. Learn more at

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I'm not a scientist. I'm just telling you what I have learned from this brand. There's no artificial colors, no sweeteners, no ingredients. Clean Simple Eats is undeniably clean, 100% delicious. Shop the best tasting protein powder at Clean SimpleEats.com. The Lady Gang. Anyway, I, and here's the thing. This is where the growth comes.

You're fine. Is that I was like, well, we already printed all these books. I mean, there's nothing you can do about it. I know, but normally Kelty would be spiraling and I would have to have a full cry about it. I would have to go to McDonald's and have like an ice. scream. I would like cry, cry, cry. And then I would get to the place. Yeah. There's nothing we can do about this. It just is what it is. But I didn't even spiral. I am so chill. I looked at it and I laughed and I thought, well, I can record the proper paragraph for the audiobook. So let's put that in. And if

you'd want to know what you're missing, I was like, I will also use this to my, what? You can. You could do like a golden ticket thing where you print out what's missing and you go around America and you put in a post-it to little books and then whoever gets the golden post-it gets to do something really fun with you. Becca, have you been reading the Femm theory? Because I have. I feel like your evil genius is on. Are you doing that? Literally in the next moment, I was like, well, okay, so the audiobook we can fix, the Kindle version we can fix. That's easy. I'm going to use this. I'm going to use this as selling. Like, I'm going to use this. I'm going to put it on Instagram or do a sad TikTok about the time that I, my ADHD was so bad, I skipped over

missing a whole paragraph in my book. This is content, baby. And I'm good, I was like, because I was thinking, well, what if they went back? What if? And. at the printer, they went back into the book and they put a little postcard with the missing paragraph in each book or like a sticker or something. And I was like, they're never going to do that. That is so much work and you got to like go to the certain page. But you know how when you go to a Broadway show and like the understudies in and there's a little paper in it and they're like the role of Kitty Wild will be played by Jack Vannock tonight, I think when I go to all the targets and the books a million, I'm going to like print out like you said, Becca, like a postcard. And I would be like,

hi, I can't fix all the books, but I want you to know, I touched this book. I was here. I want you to, like, here's the missing piece of chapter five. Yeah. You know? It's like, or you could do like different versions. It's like a choose your own adventure. And then like they mean different things. Oh. I still vote that you do, that you're Kelty Wonka and you do special treats. Surprise and delights. Surprise and delight. No one's delighted about this. And like, to be honest, guys, I didn't even email the publisher to yet. Well, you know what the good thing is? The fact that nobody caught it means nobody reading is probably going to catch it either. You know, like if none of your editors, you're going to

say that nobody's reading it. Nobody's going to read the book at all. No, like, if nobody caught it going through doing all of your passes, it obviously makes enough sense that like a normal reader would probably just be like, oh, okay, like whatever. Or Jack was on to something when she's like, Choose You're an Adventure. You could have readers submit what they think it should be. And then you select the best ones at each reading. Honestly, yes. That's actually amazing.

You let them say what they think it was going to be. I mean, you gave a little bit away here, which is actually good. Because it's like you're giving them a little bit to work off of. But then they've got to bring you something. And then you'll do a reading. It's just so me. Like I just, it's no matter what I do,

I cannot get away from myself. You know what I mean? Like if this is a simulation, it does not matter how un-keldy, I try to Kelty myself and unravel myself. Like, I will always, I will always 10%. I will always 10%.

Well, Kilty, they say that the universe throws the same thing at you in different versions until you learn the lesson. I think that you've just like leveled up your life because they threw this and the lessons get bigger and bigger and bigger. Like the letdowns and the whatever. So for you, your lesson in this lifetime, one of them is probably to accept what happens and if there's nothing you can do to change it not to like torture yourself over it. And this is a pretty like large scale that the universe served you and you've, you've shifted. So I think moving forward, because you've proven to the universe that you can handle this and you're changed, they're not going to throw these things at you anymore. I'm going to be 5% Kelty.

I mean, this could be big. Skim even faster. Well, yeah, like normally I would write a really scathing, insane thing. un-punctuated email with 75 people ced. We entitle it, we have a problem, urgent. And it would be like, what are we going to do? Take them off the presses. And then I would like blame everyone else.

But I'm like, at the end of the day, I got the final say on the book. Like I, they sent it to me. Yeah. And they were like, you have 30 days to look at this. And I could not sign off on it. I could not bring my body to like actually. finalized the book. It was too scary. And so I ignored it until like four days before it was due. And then I read it at night and like, you know, oops. I should have locked. I should have like,

you know, so it's at the end of the day, it's my fault. But even when it was my fault for like picking the wrong indie stores on lady secrets, I still blamed Diana the like chairwoman of Penguin Random House. Like, you know what I mean? Like I still wrote her that horrible email. And then this time I couldn't get a book deal there, so I wonder why that is. She blamed the indie bookstore. I was going to say she also blamed the poor man who fell down this plate of stairs at the indie bookstore. Yeah, I was mad. If you don't know the lore, I was really mad because there was an indie bookstore that did not report like our 500 books. We went and did like our only bookstore signing at this indie bookstore. Yeah. And they didn't report the books to the New York Times on the right date

because her husband fell down the stairs. And I wrote an email as like, that's not my problem. And she said that was the reason why we didn't make the New York Times list, which I don't think it was. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. Well, you're involved. Congratulations. Congrats, Kelty. I'm proud of you.

I feel good inside. I, whatever. And Sierra is at your L.A. book. I know. She's interviewing you. That is so nice. I just saw that. That's so nice.

I know. And she really doesn't have to do that. And, yeah. Can I tell you a quick story about her? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Sierra's on Summer House, obviously.

She's having a moment. She's in her It Girl moment. And I asked her to do the New York show. And she was like, oh, I'd love to. Amazing. Reach out to this person, blah, blah, blah. And then it's the finale night of Dancing with the Stars. And she was like, well, if I make it that far and I was like,

no, they're going to want, like, everyone to come back. You know what I mean? So you're not going to be available. And then I saw her at the VMAs and she came up to me and she was like, I am so sorry that I can't do your book thing. Are there any other dates I could do? And I was like, well, I'm not going to fly you to Boston. You know what I mean? Even though I would.

And then I just was like, well, L.A. is like after, but you're going to be back in New York. And she was like, no, I'm staying in L.A. and literally made L.A. happen. Like, it's so cool when people are lovely. They're not getting paid. I'm like going to give them some glam money, but like she does not have to do that, you know? And I just, it's just so nice. And I just love it when people meet their moment. It reminds me of Ariana Maddox.

Like when people have their breakout moment and they still are cool. Like, because sometimes people have their breakout moment and then they turn into motherfingers. Yeah. Like all the people around them get in their brain and start being like, you're so fabulous. You can't do those things. Like hard to get to. I'm pub, less. Like, she was just like, yeah, no, we'll do it.

That's so nice. I know. Okay, anyway, this is a Kelty rant, and I am healed, I am healthy, I'm loved. Exactly. Farewell, bitches. Lady Gang is hosted and produced by Kelty Knight, Beckettobin, and Jack Vanek with social media support from Collie Carrera, audio and video editing from Jared Monaco, and additional support from Steve Delameter and Podcast One.

Lady Gang, it's Kelty. I would love to see you on my book tour this fall. It's going to be a really cool, intimate chat. I'm going to do celebrity moderators, music in some cities. I'm going to do a little self-help talk. And then we're going to do a personal emotive writing session. I just think it's going to be really special. If you've come to a lady gang show before, it's probably going to be a little less chaotic, a little more like getting yourself together before the new year. Tickets are 35 bucks and they include a signed copy of my new book, The FM Theory. I'm hitting Atlanta. Washington, Boston, Philadelphia, Chicago, New York City, Toronto, Canada, Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Austin, and Dallas. And I would love to see you. Tickets are available now at Fembrook.com. It's 35 bucks. Come out and see me for the night. It would really mean a lot to me to see some of my lady gang girls there. FMbook.com and I'll see you there, lady gang.