LadyGang - Keltie is Sad, a Baby for Jac + 10,000 steps for Becca!

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

Keltie opens up about navigating her ADHD diagnosis and Adderall, plus a much-needed caffeine cleanse. Becca shares her 30-day 10,000-step challenge (with a thousand-dollar penalty and one genuinely terrifying nighttime neighborhood sprint). Jac gives an honest, vulnerable update on her upcoming embryo transfer, the appointments, the progesterone shots, and the wild out-of-body feeling of it all. Then Keltie gets vulnerable about feeling burnt out on Hollywood, a soul-filling weekend in the mountains surrounded by kids, and what purpose and joy can look like with or without children. Plus: the saga of the "Hollywood burgers" that will go down in LadyGang history.We have deals for YOU!!Hers: Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/ladygang for personalized, affordable care that gets YOU.Macys: Check out the Molly Rogers x On 34th collab RIGHT NOW at Macys.com or in-store!Clean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein powders at CleanSimpleEats.comProgressive: Looking to save on car insurance? Cruise on over to Progressive.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome what did you just do i got a straw and bottle vanilla cold brew okay that's a step up from the Celsius? Are you also drinking a Celsius? I already had my Celsius, but I've been up since like six, so. How much caffeine do you drink a day? I also thought you being on medication, new meds, means you don't have to do that to yourself anymore.

Yes. Thank you so much for bringing this up. I am not taking my ADHD medicine every day. I actually am going to figure out what that is. So right now, hello, everyone. Welcome to Lady Gang. Since you haven't read my book yet, I have ADHD, which I think probably everyone knows, but I did get officially judged. And now I take Adderall. And the option was like an extended release Adderall, which I'm thinking about playing with, which is like you take it every day and it's just your normal but I gotta be honest so right now I'm taking Adderall when I need to focus like if I have a big red carpet if I have a big day of work like because it is like it really is crack and I I don't know I haven't explored it yet with my doctor about being on it all the time

but it is it's like kind of intense I don't know it's probably also not the best for your body. Well, I also think that people who like when I take an Adderall, that's what I would describe it as. And I don't have ADHD, so I don't I'm not prescribed it. I get it on, you know, from my friends. But I feel like people with really bad ADHD, they take it and it really brings them down. It doesn't feel like crack. So maybe you do need the extended release, which is less crack. It's no, I crack is the wrong word for it. It's, um, it's like a sense of calm and it also makes me very emotional. Like it makes me want to intense. No, like it makes me want to text everyone that I love, which I don't actually think is a bad thing. But when I, when I

take it, I'm very sensitive and I'm very calm and I can just work, work, work. And like, I am thinking about other people's feelings a lot and my own feelings. Like I want to call Chris. I want to FaceTime with him. I want to like be around other people. And so it's actually unbeneficial to me because there isn't an, I don't know if anyone has any tips for me. There is a part of it that is really wonderful because it turns my brain off and I can just write an email and I can just look at a spreadsheet and I can just read the document and I can talk to someone and I'm like, I am so focused in that moment. I'm really having a conversation with you, but there is, there's something about being in that state that at the end of the day, I find exhausting. I don't know.

Like I, I get to the end of the day and I'm like, like, and maybe it's like exhausting to be a good person. I don't know. I'm not hyper. Like I want to dance at a club in Ibiza or like crack is not the right word. It's like a type of crack for me. It's like actually the opposite. It turns my brain calm. But it's like I'm dark in there. Yeah. You're like, I mean, I actually have to feel my feelings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to figure it out. But anyway, it might not be the exact right thing for you. I do think I need to have a caffeine cleanse. I mean, the fact that You're drinking Celsius and then also more caffeine after that, and it's not even 8.30 in the morning. That's a lot.

Probably on an empty stomach because it is 8.30 in the morning. You probably haven't had any food. You're burning a hole through your stomach. And your heart. Yeah. You know what we could do, Kelty? And actually, this will bring me into my good week. So I think this is going to be helpful.

It's time for... Good week. Yes, it is. Bad week. Oh, no. You know, I'm doing my 30-day 10,000-step challenge with my friend. Yeah. It's sweeping the nation now that we've posted about it.

It's really a big thing. So if you didn't hear a couple weeks ago, we each have to, we committed to doing 10,000 steps for 30 days. And whoever fails has to pay the other person $1,000. Crazy. And we're going until it ends. So even if at 30 days we've both done it, we're continuing on until somebody fails. And we share each other's fitness app. information. So it's great. I highly recommend it. And you pick a number where it's not going

to bankrupt you if you lose it, but it's motivating enough for you every day to think, I don't want to give over $1,000. I'm just going to find the time to do this walk. Yeah. So with mine, I find that it's much easier when you're doing something like this to add on, gradually add on some other challenges for yourself, and then you have it in a log. so it's very bujo like we talked about but it's kind of just kicking off the top of the anthill because then you're really committed it's hard to do your 10 000 steps on day four and then go eat mcdonald's so it's really having a positive impact on everything and you i have alcohol on one of

mine and it doesn't mean i can't have alcohol ever it means i want to see more non-alcohol days down the line than I see alcohol days. So you could do that with caffeine. And I track how many drinks. So I'll say one glass of wine, two cocktails, because it's just, I don't know. I think you should try it because you do like tracking shit. A hundred percent. And I agree with you one thousand percent that when I wake up and I go to my Pilates reformer first thing in the morning, it sets the tone for the whole day. Yeah. You don't Pilates reformer and then go get your McDonald's Diet Coke. You get your McDonald's Diet Coke when you're sad. You know what I mean? And it really does set it. And I do feel a little lost because I have scaled back my Bujo this year

because I wanted to be less judgmental to myself. But I do. Perhaps there's time for a Bujo 2.0. I think you can reframe it too, which is not I'm punishing myself to be better or stronger or healthier. It's I'm giving myself the gift of commitment. So committing to yourself. And that's sort of what why I started it because with another baby coming, I know what happens when a new baby comes. And on Baby Gang, we actually had this therapist come on and she was saying, before women have babies that I work with, I like to say to them, what are three things that you wanna keep after having this baby? What are the three things in your life

that are really important for you to protect when you have a baby? And one of mine is staying active. And so it's really, some people's, it's one-on-one time with friends. So you commit to a coffee every two weeks with your favorite person. For some people, it's reality TV.

So it's just a really nice thing. And it's a reframing of the brain of saying life is hard. Life sucks. Why don't I give myself a really nice gift that down the line I'm really grateful for myself for doing. So that's that. My bad week is that the other day, I'm so committed to my fitness that I didn't get my 10,000 steps yet. And it was eight o'clock at night. And I had to go for a walk in my neighborhood, a walk slash sprint, because there was a thunderstorm coming that I could see in the distance. and I have I had somebody in the neighborhood I have a neighbor that's creeping me out and I don't know what it is and I find that this person drives around a lot in the evenings and it's weird for my neighborhood and I don't maybe that's how this person winds down maybe like a baby like they have to drive him around? There is an occasional baby there. And so I did think. Not an occasional baby. Because, you know, sometimes you have to like the only way to get the baby to sleep is to drive him around. Yes. Yes. I thought that that might be the case, but it is so it's it's

just so anyways, I started because it's dark and the thunderstorm is coming. Then I see this person and I think I actually could profile this person as someone who kills people and puts them in their basement and I saw the tail like I saw them leave and come back and then leave and come back and I started to work myself up into a tizzy and so I thought I'm gonna jump into bushes like I'm gonna be if I see this these taillights coming behind me again and I did and I started sprinting up the hill like I've never run faster in my life and I got to my house and I thought I just acted out a seen from a horror movie. The adrenaline, my cortisol, I must have been, that was not a beneficial walk for me. I must have been, it was a dump of adrenaline. I burned a lot of calories

doing that scary run. For sure. But it was psychotic. And so now I'm really committed to getting it done earlier in the day, you know? Maybe you should invest in a walking pad. I have a walking pad and i walk two miles every morning first time or first thing when i wake up here's walking here's it's walking here's my issue right now i don't so my apple watch is glitching it's old as my aura ring i don't have anymore i um and so i only have my phone to track my steps and if you're on equipment it's a little bit harder for it to be accurate manually yeah so um and then your friend can think that you're lying if you're adding them all at once. That's the problem. I did take a picture of the treadmill when I did one of my half walks on it. And I just, you know,

hopefully it's on our system. So. Well, there's like my mom, when she was worked in a high school, they always had challenges like that, but it was like, you know, 5,000 steps or whatever. And people would do the craziest shit. And it's like, this is just for a walk. They'd like do this, like with their hand and shake their hand a bunch of times. And it's just go for the damn walk. It's true. I thought of that too. I thought if I get really, really desperate, do I put this on Ford? Like, do I have him carry my phone around and run around? No, I'm like, I'm not going to cheat. That's cheating myself. Yeah. Okay. Who's next? I'll go. So my good week is I had my initial consultation with CCRM about my embryo transfer

coming up um we're officially gonna do it in October and it's crazy because that's in like four months um but it's it's nuts because of Jared's schedule we're like we have to figure out like what exact day we're trying to do this on because he's going on tour in November obviously I want him to be there for it and then be there for the important you know different appointments. So it's crazy. Like I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience because I'm like, I'm actually talking. I still feel like a teen mom and I'm 39 years old. Like this doesn't feel like something that I should actually be doing. So when I was talking to her, I'm like, wow, this doesn't feel like me. Like, what are you, we're like looking at the different embryos

and their different ratings and like which one that they'd probably do. And I'm like, it's wild. Can I ask a dumb childless wonder question? Sure, please. Does an embryo transfer always work or do sometimes, even if you have a good healthy embryo and you put it in, sometimes your body will be like, nah. Well, the embryos are tested, but they're not tested for everything. And so there are times where you transfer an embryo and it actually takes, it's in the uterus, but then the body picks up on something that might be wrong with embryo. and it does like release it um but if you like they have percentages of of what the percentage of it taking is yeah like two of mine i have like two that are like 72 two that are like 63 or

something like that like a 55 and then like a 33 chance so obviously they're going to take the highest one strongest healthiest embryo um to do you have to do your progesterone shots in your butt? So the way that, yes, I'm going to, um, the way she said that you could either do it like natural or medicated. Um, I like being in control of everything that I can. So like, I'm going to do the medicated and then you can, you, you can have more accuracy with the day that you're going to do it. Cause of course it's like, of course with Jared's schedule, it's like, he's going to be gone with when my period would come naturally, he would be gone the exact day that you would do the transfer. So like, we're trying to figure out how to do it. Um, but yeah,

I'm going to do the progesterone shots. That's so exciting, Jack. They suck. So be prepared. The progesterone shots is the worst part of this entire experience. Nice. It's a very long needle. Just be prepared.

Really do your hot compress. Worse than the egg shots? A million times worse. Why? Does it hurt? It gets very sore. And you have to inject yourself all the way till the second trimester. So it is a lot.

But but granted, putting it in initially, it's like, you know, when you get like one of those B12 shots in your ass. Yeah, it's not really that bad. It's just that the area that you inject will get very sore and and it will probably get swollen and it'll probably be a while before the swelling goes away. Do not freak out. Oh, it's like I have a little BBL. Kind of. Yeah. well is it like because like when you do like the trigger shot when you freeze your eggs you have to do on your butt like that and it's that super long needle yeah yeah and the only

reason it sucks so bad is because you have to do it so many times in the same area so it's just the your body starts to really feel the effects of like just just the physical to touch it is tender whatever I mean I'm being dramatic it's not the end of the world people do way harder things but just be prepared. Don't freak out that you might need to do a little like hot compressing, a little massage and blah, blah, blah. And if Jared can't be there for the transfer, it's really anticlimactic. I know, but you know me. Like I need to make everything like an event. Yeah. I know it. Well, so I went in yesterday for the liquid ultrasound. I forget what it's called. Yeah, where they fill up your uterus. They fill up your uterus. Well, one, they do like a histogram

or something? I forget what it's called. I literally, so the doctor was like, okay, well, just like call on the first day of your next period and then we'll bring you in for yada, yada, yada. And I'm like, I thought that they were going to do a blood draw. So like I get there yesterday and they're like, okay, we're going to do this whole thing. One of the things that they did was like a mock like transfer. So they like stick the thing up your cervix to make sure it can get into your uterus. So they did that. And then they stick a catheter up there and then fill a balloon up with water and then do like a ultrasound

to just make sure that your uterus looks good for the transfer. So, and in mine, because I'm at the end of my period, they either found a blood clot or a polyp, but my doctor needs to call me today and let me know what it is. But there is like something in there.

So I hope it's not a polyp because then they have to put you under and remove it. But I've had too many things done to my stomach already. Being a woman is just being brutal. sometimes. Isn't it so stupid? Dude, it was so funny too, because we were there for the appointment last week. And she's like, yeah. And then Jared, there's some more like screener diseases that have come out since the last time that we were the carrier screeners. So she's like, if you want to do that, like we can, you know, draw some more blood. And she's like, Jared, let me, you might be

able to do it today. And Jared was like, I don't, I don't know if I'm prepared to give blood today. Like, sack up, Jared. He's like, it's like, men are such wimps. It's so funny. Like, he's like, I don't know if I can, I need to, like, mentally prepare for this. I'm like, this is. Oh, my God. It's so funny.

These men, these men. These men. Well, this is exciting. Yeah. A new member of the baby gang coming soon. So that'll be summer of next year. Yeah. So if we do, if everything goes well, obviously, and it sticks and stuff,

the if we start around my period in october it'd be early august when's the due date of yours august 26th okay so they'd be around the same time a year later yeah so cute so we'll see i'll keep everybody updated um and then so my nobody message her nobody message her asking how it went or like for are you are you pregnant questions because people are psycho and they're gonna count you know, 10 days from your whatever transfer. And then they're going to be sending. Don't ask questions. If she wants to offer the information, she will offer the information. Don't ask her if she's pregnant, people. Yeah, I know. Well, because as of now, it's like I'm like, I'll document it. I'll talk about it. I feel fine now about that. I don't know how I will feel actually

in the moment about what I want to share. So, yeah, whatever I'm sharing, I'm sharing. And if I'm not sharing something, don't ask. So my bad week is, okay, remember last week, when my good week and bad week were both things that I had talked about already, we have talked about on the podcast. And I like some sort of like early onset, like Alzheimer's going on. So that afternoon was when I did this appointment at CCRM. And like I said, I went in there, I felt like I was having this like out of body experience. Like I felt very fuzzy. And I'm like, it must just be because I'm like, this is a new experience, yada, yada, yada. I walk into the office and the doctor was like, oh my gosh, Jack, good to see you. Like the last time I saw you was two years ago. And my

doctor that did the egg retrieval is gone. So this is a new doctor. And so I was like, I've met you before. I was like, I haven't been here in the last two years. Like the last time I was here was in 2020 when I did my, the embryos. And then she was like, yeah, you know, we met when we were talking about this and this and that. I'm like, I do not remember meeting this doctor. And then it finally hit me that I went in there to talk about endometriosis. And then they had really red flagged the gigantic fibroid that was in my uterus. So I had met her for that. And then she was talking about all this other stuff and asking me questions. I'm like, I cannot, why can't I remember anything? I'm like, something is happening to me. Like, I think I'm losing my mind. And then

I went home and I'm on the SIBO antibiotic for my SIBO right now. And the biggest side effect is like intense brain fog. I'm like, that's, this is what's happening. I, and I'm like, that's, I was really excited. Cause I'm like, I think I might have to go see a neurologist because I can't remember anything, but it's from my SIBO medication because you know, nothing, nothing can be going correctly in this body of mine it is weird when your brain fogs like that yes because it's like you really i'm like something is wrong with me and now you know someone's name and you're like kendra kendra kendra but like it's right on the tip of your tongue and you're like i've used this name a thousand times like where is it why is my brain pulling up songs from sublime in 1998

998 high school car and not like the contact I need at this moment. I want to have some sort of expert on for this because I think a lot of people are panicking. I even couldn't remember the last four digits of my social security number the other day because I'm like, I was trying to, I was my, I was thinking of my Delta SkyMiles number. It's really more important. It's like the same thing. I it took me it took me a minute. And so I do I do want someone to come on. Have I talked about this? That's a really good way to start this. My best friend from childhood is a neurologist. And I called her a couple years ago because I was having this experience where, OK, so we're talking, we're talking, we're talking in two hours. I could be having lunch with a friend and I, and they could be talking about an embryo transfer. And I would be like, wait a second. Somebody else I know just told me and it's going to come to me.

So I, that was my biggest thing where it was really freaking scary. And I called her and she said, a lot of it is that humans are not capable of multitasking and our phones are constantly breaking our attention. Have I talked about this? No, I know, but that makes sense. Yeah. So say we're talking and you're telling me a story. Kelty's telling me something about Callie, something blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. My phone dings. It takes my attention.

It doesn't even mean I have to pick it up, but my brain has then clocked out of that conversation and into this one. And when you break the chain like that, it's much harder to form a memory. So that's why at dinners, you should just put your phone away. You shouldn't even be able to see it light up.

at, you know, any time you can really have it out of eyesight when you're connecting with people is better because I did find that mine improved a little bit after I did that. I need a neurologist. It's so true. Chris Knight is telling me the same story 15 times. And I was like, bitch, look up from your phone. Like, what the hell? No, I was going to say I need a neurologist to come on and tell me why I can't remember so much of my childhood like I have so many like but I never had anything like because it wasn't traumatic that's why they say the more traumatic your childhood the more memories you've created and the less traumatic the less you create so that's why you had the perfect childhood so clearly you

have absolutely no memory my mom would be like remember when we did this I was like no but you know I think a lot of it too is it's like because I never had a sibling so it's like I never had like these demarcation lines. We never moved. My parents are still in the house that they've been in since I was born. So it's like, we've never had these like big events when I was younger to kind of be like, Oh, remember life before this or remember life after this. But I'm like, I really, my memory is so, so bad. So bad. Yeah. We need a neurologist to come on. And I do think, I mean, obviously a lot of it, like screens are ruining everybody's lives, but our lives. That's why you should only listen to podcasts. All right. We're going to take a quick

break. When we come back, I'm going to complain. Now back to the Lady Gang. Okay. We're back. Welcome back to Lady Gang. I am in a bad spot. I'm in a bad spot. I'm having a sad summer. I think I'm done with Hollywood. I think I'm ready. I always had this this mind frame and this thing that Chris and I, since we met, had this idea called Freedom 45, which was we worked so hard. I saved all my money. I invested my money. And I have always been like, you know, sometimes when you set up a retirement account, they're like, oh, we're going to set it for 60 because that's like when a normal person retires. I always have had mine set at 45 45 because I was like, I'm going to have freedom 45. Like I know I watched, especially early in my

hosting career, I watched so many women just kind of like get aged out and get pushed out unceremoniously, you know, cause like can't have an old lady on TV. And I was like, I don't ever want to be that person that's like gets fired from the big job and then goes and like has to revert back to like some shitty job just to like pay the bills, you know? So I've been really careful about that. I'm going to be 45 in January, everyone, which is insane. And I just, I am such a strong person and I know that I'm a good person. I know that I'm a fucked up person, but like, I also know that my intentions are good and I keep getting hit with like the thing that I think I'm doing or I just, I just don't know how much more of the like overcoming the rejection and the

deafness of Hollywood I have in me. And I, if you asked me in my twenties, if you asked me in my thirties, I would be like, I love this shit. I'm in it. I'm a psycho. I can handle it. I don't get down with the rejection. I don't get down with people not liking me. And I don't know if I'm becoming a sensitive dinosaur or not, but like, I, I just, I just really am at my wits end. And so this weekend, Chris and I went to the mountains. Um, and we had this little like cousins camp, which is like his brother and his cousins and all their kids. And there was probably like eight or nine kids there ranging from walking in diapers, whatever age that is to my niece, Kaylee, who's 14. And I was so depressed because I was like, Oh, I have stepped up so badly by not having

children. I have nothing like after Hollywood life, I have just Chris and I'm with this like little, one of these, one of our little nieces Libby was like just the most magical girl. I'm so excited for you guys to have girls. She would just be like, I was telling her about like, oh, Callie, my dog's name is Callie. And she was like, oh, and I was like, she's named Callie because Callie is how you say street. And she was found on the street in Mexico. And she like looks up at me with these little bangs and this little cute baby face. And she goes, she must have been really lonely on the street. Oh, sweet baby. And the whole weekend, I was just, there were so many kids there. I was surrounded by so many kids and like,

we're walking through the forest and we're playing board games and we're eating pasta. And like the sense of wonder that comes around with like being around these kids. I was just like, I was like, I really loved it. And we had such a good weekend. I didn't turn my phone on. Like, I didn't take a picture. We went on the boat. Like it was, and Chris and I have not seen each other in like months. Right. So this was like really nice for us. We went on a big hike together just with Callie. Like it was amazing. We're driving down the mountain to come back to LA. And I was like, okay, well, all right. So when we get home, you got to shower, you got to pack because he was leaving the next day. Like we were home for eight hours or whatever.

And he just looked at me and he goes, man, our lives are so toxic. He's like, our lives are so toxic. And he's like, that was such a great trip. Like to, he's like, you roll down the windows and he's like, take a breath of this, like the last fresh air we have. And he's like, we have to go back to our toxic lives. And he's just like the world we live in, the things that we deal with, the things that we care about, the things that are important, the way people treat us is so toxic. And he's like, just think of it like being around family for three days straight and being around these children that are so innocent, that just are like so excited when you play in Candyland with them and no makeup, no outfits, no and Hermes Birkins,

like just that. I just everything is so toxic. And I know that some of it is my fault. because I feed into it or like I get angry and then I try to be righteous in some way. But like, I just, I really, I just am like sad. You didn't do anything wrong. You, I'm sorry, you're sad. I hate that you're feeling this way. And it's just a moment to just remember these feelings are very temporary, but it's important to pay attention to them. And you are, you can find meaning and purpose again and beauty in the world without having to raise a kid that shits themselves at school. Like, I just need you to know that you have a very special and you do you have a very special little soul in there. And, you know, our friend Emily that was just in town,

I talked to her separately. And she said to me, she goes, I just can't get over how a her son is autistic. He's nonverbal autistic. She said, A, the connection that Kelty had with my son, but B, more than anything, the fact that my friend who doesn't have children, who doesn't know what it's like to have children was the most accommodating and open and warm place for us to land. And so that is not how a lot of childless people exist. There's still a lot of people that are like, get and that's okay to live. Yes. But you can figure out what it is that's missing from your life. And it doesn't necessarily have to be in the bucket of having a child. Like there's a lot of purpose. And also, it's not too late for you to have a child, you could adopt a child.

You know, I don't know if that's something that you are considering or whatever consider. I mean, in the meantime, would you like to be my daughter's godmother? Not emotionally ready for that. You can absolutely be my daughter's godmother. I can't think of anybody better. Jack and I have actually talked about this on the side. Sometimes it's joking that we want our daughters to have your Chanel bags, but oftentimes... I know, it's like Kelsey might have to be my daughter's godmother too.

You can definitely be mine. And we can decide once Jack's pregnant, we can really we can really fight over this down. But please, like I, I would love nothing more. I always just feel like I'm trying to spare my childless friends from being around children. and like I would love nothing more than for us to go on a beach vacation and have our kids there and have you be a humongous part of these little people's lives like you have more value sometimes than even the mother of a child does I mean they said that once girls reach a certain age children but specifically girls well especially girls that the people most important to have around your teenagers are your friends. So your friends are the people that they're going to go to to say the things that they're too afraid to say to us. And they're the people that they are going to look up to and going to get advice from. And they're not going to think it's stupid because

you just roll your eyes when your parents tell you what to do. But when your cool aunt or godmother is telling you what to do, you really take it seriously. So this is not the end Kelty night. This is the beginning of you noticing what's sparking joy for you. And it's achievable. Thank you very much. You're listening to The Lady Gang. It's weird because it's a different spark. And like, you know, I just, man, oh, man.

I, it's like, even when I'm working, so I'm working like with Alta, the app. that I invested in and like I do a lot of meetings with them and emails and I'm like oh so you can like just write an email and you can just do great work and people are like thank you this is amazing like there's just something about the underbelly of Hollywood and like I know I'm in like book selling mode right now and like tour selling mode and like it's just like you constantly have to be like like me like me like me like me like what I'm doing like what I'm doing and and it is hard on my soul at this moment and I just man oh man I um and I think also because Chris is working so hard and traveling everywhere that I'm like just mostly alone which is fine but it's like I just

man I feel like Phoebe Dobson there's gotta be more to life like I just yeah I gotta I gotta to figure that out. But I am doing a lot of like things like I'm knitting. Good. You know, I think anyway, I'm like the strongest, meanest, nicest, most sensitive bitch in the world. And I keep doing these things that are bitchy. And then I get really sad when people are like, you're a bitch. And I was like, ah, what? I'm so nice. But like, you know, I talked to my friend yesterday and she was like, yeah, I don't think those people are going to like really want to be friends with you in the future. And I was like, yeah, am I okay? Like, I just, well, it's like Kelty, you also like your entire life, you've put so much energy and weight into these things that

never love you back. Right. With like Hollywood, it's like, you're just like pouring yourself into things and it's, and you get these kind of like immediate bursts of serotonin that are probably satisfying to you, but they don't last and they don't like really affect you in the way that like maybe some of these more meaningful moments do yeah and like becca said like it doesn't have to be a kid it can be like i mean being in the mountains and it's like a lifestyle change and it's a atmospheric thing but also it's like number one like becca said it's not too late if you actually wanted to introduce a child into your life somehow some way like you're still young you're still really young to be able to do something like that but i think it's like the

difference between you pouring yourself into the cesspool underbelly disgustingness of hollywood getting nothing and then like pouring a little bit of yourself into something that is a child that like all they want to do is look back at you like you're the moon and the stars you know what I mean like I think that that is like the difference of feeling of how something like affects your soul and it's like there are different ways to kind of find that in your life but it's like I totally think that that's what you have lacked for a long time and that you do find value in it it's not like you're a robot and you're like this is giving me nothing yeah no no no for sure and yeah I think I think that I think that I can be super auntie like I don't think that Chris

and I will have children to be honest with you but I think I can like make I can really make it a focus to be like a really great aunt and make plans and make time and like be that person because it's clearly feeding my soul in a way that, um, it hasn't been in the past. Um, that was my good week that I went to the mountains. Sorry. That was like a little tangent-y. Um, and my bad week was that I like, I felt a little sad about Chris and I's toxic, um, feeling, but my real bad week is as you guys are like, you know, it's not too late for you. Just remember this. So what, how we did the family sort of thing is that we had a spreadsheet and every single couple like parents was responsible to cook one meal and clean up on one meal and I was freaking out about this because

as you know I'm not a cook and I was like can we post mates to the mountain no I have to like prepare meals so I picked burgers because I'm a good griller and I we get there and this is how I know Chris and I can't have kids because we almost fought over like the meatballs so we get there and like you know okay so as you know I don't eat meat I don't cook meat and I have never like really yeah so we get there and normally if I have people at my house and I'm making burgers I'll buy like the Costco pre-made like burgers where you just put them on but whoever did the shopping just got like the vats of like beef and they were like yeah you got to make the burgers and so everyone's out at the lake and I'm gonna make the burgers and Chris looks at me like how

do we make a burger? And I was like, I don't fucking know. And I was like, I've seen my mom do this. You make it into a little ball and then you like press it flat. So we did that and we laid them out and then we went out to cook them. But the thing is, is that I made them like what I thought would be like a proper burger size. And then when they cook down, they turned into a meatball size. And so it was so funny because my sister-in-law Frankie, she, she gets back from the pool and she's like, Oh my God, it's so nice to not have to cook. This is amazing. It smells amazing. Cause like the meatballs are on the grill. And then Chris brings in the first tray meatballs and Frankie comes out with a fucking Ziploc of meat. And she's like, when I bought

this meat, I meant you had to like literally make all of it. And she's grabs them. She starts throwing giant hunks of meat on the barbecue. I've never been more embarrassed in my life. because it was like 18 people and they were like healthy. So I had to walk in and I was like, oh, I don't, I see no one is eating the Hollywood burgers. Why do you want these big burgers? Like I was so embarrassed. Cute. Yeah. I was like, oh, you don't want these. This is, and like people are putting three Hollywood burgers on one bun. Anyway, I've never been more embarrassed in my life, which is like Chris and I were clueless. Like we just really, I just said next time, can I just pay for everything? Yeah. Well, I mean, you know where your value lies. Yeah. Yeah. I was

like, I'll pay for the boats. I'll pay for whatever. Like, don't make me cook. And then Frankie was like, I feel so bad. Like, you don't have kids. And then also, like, you've never cooked for 18 people before. And I was like, no, I haven't. Like, I don't know how to do that. Well, I also wouldn't be able to do that. And I have a child. Me neither. Sticking my hand in the meat to make a ball of meat it's gross out of like it's under your nails

oh god and I'm like why is it squiggly like it looks like ramen noodles I'm like I know that meat doesn't come like that like

what is this oh my god I can't handle meat it makes me want to barf yeah well anyway Kelty

I'm happy you opened up to us I'm sad that you're sad ish but also yeah but also even when you have kids you can hit slumps where you're like what the am I doing with my life so it's not like this magic cure-all and that's always what I want to tell people that don't have children that couldn't have children that decided not to have

children it's not like this whole new world is just beautiful and rainbows and butterflies and whatever. Life is life and it's really hard and you choose your heart and you also choose your joy and it doesn't always have to be children, meaning the joy. No, for sure. And I know that I get as an auntie, I get the cutest moments. Yes. You get the highlights. I get the highlights. You get all the cuteness. And like when baby is crying on the boat because it's hot and you've been on the boat for too long and they're freaking the out because you can't let them jump in the water i'm chilling i'm like where's my diet cocktail yeah there you go exactly well you can help me on my recruit i'm trying to brainwash ford into loving a musical theater

so that i don't have to go sit at hot baseball games in texas so my god you could also help me try to indoctrinate him indoctrinate him into the arts oh my god that is i will tell as a child Who has loved trucks since they came out of the womb? I don't know that we're going to get a musical theater boy out of him. But he's pretty typical boy's boy. Yeah, he's pretty. He's a Zack Martin. He's like a quintessential stereotypical boy.

Yeah. Well, then, Kelty, you can come on down to Austin and watch some baseball games with me. No, thank you. I actually pass on that. Thank you so much. Anyway, the next time we talk, I will have bangs. Bye. Bye.

Lady Gang is hosted and produced by Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek, with social media support from Kali Carrera, audio and video editing from Jared Monaco, and additional support from Steve Delameter and Podcast One. Sonnet Insurance wants to know, what would you do with an extra hour in your day and more money in your pocket? With Sonnet, you can quote and buy home and auto insurance online or over the phone. your choice on your time whatever works best for you and canadian university and college alumni could save over two thousand dollars a year that's real money back where it belongs save time save money save yourself from the way insurance used to be get your quote at sonnet.ca switch save simple

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