LadyGang - Keltie’s Mom

Episode Date: March 2, 2021

In true Keltie fashion, Sheila makes her debut appearance on the podcast with an entire list of notes and a whole lot of never before heard stories. She’s the stage mom we all need, the only woman that can bring out Keltie’s sensitive soul and the person teaching us all that “failures can’t break you.” Plus, Tequila Shiela likes a marg just as much as her daughter. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! CHLA Make March Matter: The Make March Matter campaign supports Children’s Hospital Los Angeles–a nonprofit pediatric hospital ranked among the top 5 in the nation on U.S. News & World Report’s prestigious Honor Roll of children’s hospitals. Check out ways in which you can make a difference this March! makemarchmatter.org   Total Wireless: Get an unlimited talk, text and data plan for $25 per month. 1 gig at high speed, then 2G. Terms and conditions at TotalWireless.com  Nutrafol: Grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and enter code LADY to save 20% off your first month’s subscription. Plus FREE shipping on EVERY order! ThirdLove: Go to ThirdLove.com/ladygang to find your perfect-fitting bra and get 20% off your first purchase! Let Jordan Harbinger blow your mind on The Jordan Harbinger Show - available wherever you listen to podcasts!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

All right, Lady Gang community, I am calling on you because it is one of my favorite times of year, the Make March Matter campaign for Children's Hospital Los Angeles. It is such a special place. It's a nonprofit pediatric hospital ranked among the top five in the nation on U.S. News and World Report's prestigious honor roll of children's hospitals. So Make March Matter is a campaign to raise $1 million or more during the month of March through a variety of fundraising efforts in support of programs and services at CHLA that create hope and build a healthier future for children.

So basically what you do is you make a purchase, make a donation, or participate in an event. And for a complete list of participating businesses like the Lady Gang and others, visit MakeMarchMatter.org. Support the businesses that support Children's Hospital LA. Lady Gang is making a contribution and raising awareness surrounding the campaign for the entire month of March. Will you do the same and will you join us? And if you're going to do that, why don't you share on social media and use hashtag MakeMarchMatter and the handle is at MakeMarchMatter.

Let's spread the word and let's get this hospital lots and lots of money for Make March Matter because they make so many families healthier and happier every year. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Lady Gang. I am Becca Tobin here with Jack Vanek and Kelty Knight. Hello, Mom. Hello, Mom and Dad. Hello. We all know from the title that my mom is on, and this will be a podcast. I hope the first podcast you're ever listening to, Mom, Dad, Mom's friends, Dad's friends.

Oh, geez. Welcome to the podcast. Okay. talking about my sex life. Well, stay tuned. All right. It's time for good week. Yes, it is bad week. Oh no. I'm going to kick it off because it has to do with your mom. I have a lot of anxiety about your mom being here because I feel like the school bully who's been bullying the same person all school year. And then their mom comes to have lunch with them. And then you have to sit at the table and look them in the eye and pretend you haven't been

bullying their kid all school year. And so I'm super, super anxious. Oh my God. Sheila's going to be very upset with me if she isn't already. So that's my bad week. Um, but my good week is I have really mastered the art of cooking and baking. I think, you know, jealous I've gotten into a routine. There's only a few things I've been able to make. I've really been crushing overnight oats, which I know is neither cooking nor baking. It's just putting overnight things into a mason jar. Yeah. But I'm really good at it. It's more of a file transfer, but yeah. It's a pour. I've been getting really good and I'm just, I'm proud of myself because I thought that one day my kids would go to school and I'd get a call from the teachers and they'd say,

you know, your kid's been eating McDonald's for four months and they look like they have been. They, they're green. This color of the skin is green and they, um, can't focus in class because you're not nourishing your children. But now you can make them, you can, you can do a five. They can have overnight oats. Great. Okay. Ready for motherhood. Overnight oats are very tasty. They're so good. Right. If they're right. Can I tell my, just for the people out there who want to do it, it's really easy. Equal parts, oats, equal parts, almond milk. And then I do a cinnamon roll one where i do cinnamon vanilla extract and any sweetener of your choice you're welcome wow so simple i could do it you could okay okay who's next i'll go i know kelty was

opening her mouth to go no it's good um my good week is i got an espresso machine for christmas nespresso or expresso nespresso george it is a coffee game changer i didn't realize what i was missing out before the nespresso the best they had it froths itself even with a black coffee i got the see-through mugs so i can look at my like crema on the top it is a delight in a 10 month period of depression so that is my good week i highly recommend it and they're pretty cheap they're like 150 bucks yeah and then you don't have to spend a bunch of money at starbucks they are good they're good my bad week and it's a good week but a bad week is jared is now editing our podcast and welcome to the team welcome to the team jerry he's not oh he has his thumbs up

which is great that's that's a great great thing thumbs up the bad week part of it is now i really need to watch what i'm saying oh shit because we all kind of i think that we talk in the podcast like nobody will ever be listening definitely not definitely not our partners this is a conflict of interest i never even thought about it i just but you know redacted jerry's off the team i mean jared knows that i have an obsession with machine gun kelly so it's it's fine i probably won't watch what i say because i'll forget about it but you know of course it's also always there this is why jerry is the one because you're supposed to be with somebody who doesn't hold it against you or give a shit yeah the only times that he'll be upset are when you're talking shit about him

just from my personal experience i also would double down on that no publicly talking shit on your partner got it got it got it okay thank you for coming to my ted talk okay um good week i also have a new purchase which i'm very excited about worms i got worms for my compost and it is game changing however we need a redo on the packaging i ordered my worms they arrived i got them in a bag and i figured oh they'll be in this like linen bag but then also like in plastic right like they're not just gonna have the worms in a box in a bag but of course they do they don't go in plastic they need oxygen they would die so it's just like this bag of worms anyway so i dumped the worms and i was like go at it eat that banana peel worm and then a lady ganger on instagram said

oh did you rehydrate your worms so first of all trader bills or wherever the i got these worms you need to include a how-to sheet in your packaging because no one told me i needed to dehydrate my worms i guess they dehydrate dehydrate them before they ship them and then you have to rehydrate them before they eat anyway sorry they dehydrate the living worm yeah they like i don't i don't know they get dehydrated and you have to rehydrate anyway so i'm not sure i don't know they didn't put instructions in you like google how to rehydrate a worm since then i haven't gotten new worms so i thought well i do have a pretty you know tangy compost i feel like there's enough moisture in here for these worms so anyway i haven't seen any worms moving since i added them

i'll keep you updated but i was excited about my worms let me tell you how you rehydrate worms you put the dried worms in a suitable container we just dropped a handful into the bottom of a plastic tub and then what so for at least 30 minutes oh just 30 minutes literally throw them in water oh don't they drown i don't get this i'm very i know it's harder to be i'm just i'm just shocked that they dehydrate a worm without it dying i know it's kind of like those those sponges you used to get when you're a kid and then you'd put them in the water and they'd grow yeah exactly in the shape of a dinosaur you'd have those for us it's like bro you're kelty anyway oh my god that'd be so good that is kind of cute um my bad week is that i you know i'm back

now california closed everything down again so i'm back to covid nails and like i just i you know i really got into doing my own dip and then and then things opened and i went back to the manicurist and I was like, this is such a luxury. Like, I just love having my nails done. I don't feel right unless they're done. And now I'm back to it. I'm like, I can't dip again. Like it just wasn't that great. You know, it's so good. And then I got, my friend Thea was like, you got to get these nail stickers. It's like a gel manicure that you stick on. And she shows me hers and they're beautiful. And I was like, oh shit, I can do a sticker. Stickers are what I love. So I go on Amazon and I order all my nail stickers and I got them and I, they were on three days and

they looked good for like maybe the first 30 minutes and then the corners started peeling up so i just have terrible nails and i'm so annoyed i know that people have beautiful natural nails and it's just like covid i need a manicure that's all i don't want to brag what but i've been getting them because i'm in vancouver and i have been holding on i got a manicure the day before everything closed down because i had a hunch it was going to close down i've been holding on to this manicure for six weeks and it still looks pretty good. Does your, do your nails just not grow? That is not six weeks of growth. Clear. You can't tell they're they're grown. My nails grow super fast. It's just a clear Manny hard gel. It's the secret. I'm telling you hard gel

called hard gel. There's a difference between, yeah, it's like between gel and acrylic. It's somewhere in the middle so it's hard but it doesn't peel off like gel okay on that note my mom's gonna be here cool she was waiting here we go do amazing with total wireless because when you move to total wireless you can get an unlimited plan with incredible devices now with nationwide 5g available in 2700 plus cities capable device and sim required get our best deal ever with an unlimited talk text and data plan for 25 per month per line for four lines with 100 gigs of shared high-speed data, and then 2G, which means you can listen to a lot of Lady Gang podcasts,

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way you understand the world this acclaimed podcast has something for everyone from explorers to filmmakers astronauts political experts hostage negotiators and even the co-founder of the fire festival jordan harbinger has you covered right now go to jordanharbinger.com subscribe for all the latest updates for lady gang fans i recommend his interview with renowned designer steve madden or his conversation with the Oscar-winning heartthrob Matthew McConaughey or one of his recent Feedback Friday episodes, Should a Cheater Get a Second Chance? Each episode is loaded with incredible stories and practical insight

that will change your life. Make sure to check out the Jordan Harbinger Show. That's H-A-R-B-I-N-G-E-R on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podcast One, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Now back to the Lady Gang. All right, so today is the first episode in maybe 350 episodes where I don't have a, um, like a big introduction prepared. And it's because episodes, my mom and my mom gets the worst of me at all things in my life. So I'm an overachiever

who seems like she has her shit together. And then I go home and I'm in my pajamas and I'm like the most disgusting, the least, the most slothy. And so I had dreams for the last like two weeks. I'm like, mom's coming on the podcast. I'm going to write this whole bio about how, you know, when we were kids, she went to night school to get her master's in education and how she got her first degree at university while like helping her mom through cancer and losing her mom and has been a part of like teacher of the year awards in Canada. And like, is a part of, you know, these female societies and is such like a groundbreaking friend. And anyway, I had all these things I was going to write mom, but in typical Kelty fashion, you're getting absolutely

nothing so welcome to the podcast my mom Sheila the icon icon yay well imperfect um Kelty slash Sheila I have notes oh yes you came with receipts no you did not you made notes I didn't even tell you what the questions are I know what kind of notes are these you know it is really hard to make notes when you don't know what the questions are going to be did you did you think about what the questions could be and the notes are on those are they general notes about kelty or what are the notes yeah both general notes about kelty things i remember things that you know maybe she has not taken the time although i i can't think there's one thing about kelty's life that the entire world does not know but i may have a secret or two

that comes up that she has not mentioned to everyone in general. Yeah, I'm terrified. But let's just start Sheila page one. Well, first of all, can you talk about yourself? You were born in 52. You grew up in the 60s, 70s. You had crazy long hair. You had very good style. You got married in the living room to my dad. You guys have been married 46 years? Yeah, 44. 44 years. And you're an icon. You're a show mother without being a show mother. Yeah, I suppose all of that, right? I mean, I kind of figured like I've done it all. I've had a fabulous career. I've had a fabulous family. I've had a fabulous marriage. I've lived in the best country in the world. I've managed to gather around me some fabulous women i've been a member of several really awesome

groups of strong powerful women and um you that's just been sort of the way it's been my proudest things of course are my children uh the source of most mostly all joy but some despair as all parenting goes. Yeah. I asked, I asked my mom once, so we talked about this on the podcast, but a couple of years ago we had this sponsor story worth and we had them again this, this Christmas. And I gave you the story worth book and you wrote the book of Sheila. And I've talked about this as like one of the most meaningful gifts I've ever given. And as all these stories about us growing up and my mom's life that I didn't know, and it's this beautiful collection of things. And I learned so much. And after she wrote it, I asked my mom, I was like, what is it

like to be like my mom like the the sheila to kelty you know like you must be so this think of the dread and embarrassment and anxiety that jack and becca feel on a daily basis not knowing like what kelty's gonna do next and like times it past like a million as a mom right you were not a surprise because you've been dramatic as hell it's moment one starting with your birth because i had had a cesarean with matt and with you i had a natural birth and those days it was very very undone you didn't have that so we had like 16 doctors in the room watching you come into the world oh my god you just came in with an audience and you have never stopped with the audience since then that makes sense moving on into uh kindergarten when you were performing

she was the one chosen to stand up on the stage at the concert and saying i guess i'll just eat worms yes so hilarious um and all the way to our famous tequila sheila story uh which maybe is something you haven't mentioned kelty was always so dramatic and i was at home i was going to go on the field trip. I was working in her school because I was at home with the kids. And I knew all the teachers, of course, and I was going to go on the field trip on Monday. And Ken and I had been out on Saturday night. And I had fairly drank an awful lot of tequila. And so Kelty blows in to where all the teachers are standing when she's in grade one, with her little hands on her hips, just as proud as anything, and says, Mrs. Lair, my mom is not going to go on the field trip today

because she is sick. But my daddy said, don't you worry your head, little Kelty Colleen. Tequila Sheila will be up and around any moment now. Well, the teachers absolutely died. I mean, it was a story I'd run into people 25 and 30 years later, and they'd say, well, Tequila Sheila. How are you doing now? Is this did this nickname where you coined this nickname from that weekend? And have you held on to it? She's held on to it. Okay, good. Because it's sad to say, Jack. I've made it my my life's work to hang on to this. It's an incredible nickname. I wish I had it all the way up to our 39th anniversary when in Mexico, when I told the guy bringing my margaritas to put a little tequila in this, please, which he did. And then I missed dinner

completely. Honestly, that's the only way to drink tequila. You're doing it right. Yes. Anyway, I know that Sheila has notes, but I'd like to open the floor to Becca and Jack to ask a Kelty question. Get in the mind of Kelty. Please do. Jack, you want to go first? oh man um I guess what did you think like when Kelty was a kid what did you imagine her to either what do you think that her profession would have been when she grew up or like how did you imagine that she would be as an adult and is it exactly what you thought or is it completely different there was never any doubt that Kelty was special we all knew that everyone thinks that about their

kids mom like literally not true no it's not the jack vanek fan club well that's my mom did not think i was special so no you're absolutely wrong you know what kelty every everyone who ever met you thought that you just had this spark and um i i mean you were what three years old and i i find you sitting in your room and you're not doing anything and you've just got your little hands on your face and you're just sort of staring off into the distance and i think oh my gosh what's wrong the kid is having some sort of a seizure or something and she looks up at me and she says i said what are you doing captain she's well i'm just using my mind oh i thought to myself well holy frick world terrifying three years old world domination that's some evil genius shit i

would be like is the is the devil inside of my child right now honestly and she was yeah and my mind this was just her but you know um when you ask about kelty is exactly what i thought think she was going to be because she has always known exactly what she wanted um she had this thing, or she's always done this thing in her life, that I would call retreat, repeat procedure. And this is how Kelty approached all things when she didn't get the answer she wanted, when she didn't get the outcome she wanted. It was never fighting, it was never yelling, it was never upset. It was retreat. And then repeat, she came back at you only this time, she had a better plan can i tell the story of the car when you wanted when you were 16 kelty and

wanted to take the car and go out to that party i have no idea what this story is now because i've told you yeah i don't remember this at all um she was 16 driving the hundred dollar beater car her dad had had bought her and came to us one time and said i want to go to this party that's like 40 or 50 miles away at this town outside in canada we've talked about those bush parties right yes yes you had to go outside light a campfire in the middle of a field and it was a party i would never do that again you couldn't pay me to go to a bush party but this thing is like 40 miles away she wants to take the car and her best friend katie and go and it's going to be overnight and what she approaches us with this and within one second her dad says absolutely not there is no way you're

going to do that so with kelty no fighting no arguing no complaining she just goes away so she comes back the next day better prepared to fight the battle to get the outcome she wants and she says here's the thing all my life i have done what i'm supposed to do building trust drama i have never skipped school i haven't been picked up by the police i have followed all your rules i haven't broken curfew and the first time that I want to do something that is outside your zone of control all that trust doesn't work for anything I don't understand it's not fair I've worked my whole life to build up trust and now when I need that trust you're just going to say no and we did just what you're doing Becca we just looked at each other we shake our heads and said fine yeah you're going

I guess you're right. Wow. What a little psycho. That was Kelty. It's like, it's psychological warfare. Absolutely. And knew what she wanted and always got the outcome she wanted. It just was a matter of time, right? Where do you think she gets this drive from? Was there a moment that the light bulb went off and she saw someone succeeding and was like, I want that? Or was she born with it? Yeah, I think she was born with it because Kelty always told us, I mean, people would say to me, how can you let her go off and do that? How can you let her move to New York when she's 18? She has no money. She has no people. And I always said to people, you know, the thing is, she didn't really ask us. She announced it. It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

to the welcome to the lady gang she didn't ask she just said I'm moving to New York and she told me that when she was in grade eight oh my god holy moly so um you know there were not many surprises um I mean do you remember Kelty when you wanted to go to Shelly's dance studio and I said no first of all because it was really really expensive and I knew Shelly and Shelly was a really really tough tough teacher and I said to Kelty nope all grade seven nope you can't go you can't go it's too soon it's too early and she kept asking me so grade eight yep okay I said Shelly's is like this studio that was really good in the city and then I was at this I was at this Sherwood Park School of Dance, which was like, it was like homegrown. Okay. So anyway.

So I said, listen, I will move you over to Shelly's, but I am telling you, you will never get in the car after dance class and be crying because it was too hard or because Shelly was yelling at you. And she would get in the car and she'd say, mom, I had such a fabulous night. Shelly yelled at me in the entire time. I feel so special. Oh, wow. I feel so alive. That's incredible. I do think that's a secret of my success though, is that when people yell at me or hate me, it's like a driving factor in my success. It doesn't knock me down at all. It's kind of like no publicity is bad publicity, but it's like no interaction is bad interaction for you it's all great Kelty is the queen of take the note wow and I think that that has been a if

there's any driving factor I think the fact that she's been a dancer and from the get-go Jack she was taking a note nobody ever said you're perfect they said you're perfect but never wear purple again you know you were perfect but your feet oh my god fix them but fix that eyebrow fix that eyebrow, right? Dye your hair, do something. And she always took that note. And so she never got knocked down. Kelty, have you talked about the, when you auditioned for the Rockettes? I think so. I don't know. Multiple times. The three times? Yeah. Not many people do that. It's so interesting. And did she tell you though, that the second time they told her you're too short, don't come back? No. I forgot. And that's something you can't fix.

oh my goodness well kelty can who goes back when the best most prestigious dance company in the world tells you you're too short don't come back and audition for us again and you've been there the second time and you show up the third time only this time they recognize you and you say i'm gonna dance taller and you put your hair up in a big bun oh who does that i'm gonna dance Are you kidding me? That's the kind of resilience that Kelty has had. Okay. So I have two things I want to ask you on the podcast. One, since we're in show business, how has it been to be a show mom, not a show mom, because you're kind of iconic because you were never the show mom that was like in it being like, my daughter's the best. She's going to win this

trophy. Like you've never been that show mom, but you're also incredibly honest with me. So you're definitely the one that will text me and be like, you need to spray tan. Like, you know what I mean? Like you're, you're harsh in sometimes like your honesty, you're like me in that way. You don't have, I need a Sheila. Yeah. And no, I think it's what, it's my secret sauce is that my mom is not a yes man. My mom will tell me when something isn't great, which is like criticism. Right. But how is that for you? Are you, cause you, I assume you're scared of me. I feel like you're scared of me a little bit. Well, scared of you in what way? I don't know. Are you? I don't think I think I'm scared of you right now. It all started when she was sitting there when she was

three. I'm using my mind to dominate. I'd be scared of you too. You know, it's been very interesting to uh be a stage mom with you kelty because as you say uh truly when kelty says i was never the best she totally is telling the truth she was not the star she was not the front line she was just in there wanting it harder and more and better uh than anybody else she had a work ethic and a desire that just didn't stop. And so I wanted that for her as well. But she also has a very sensitive soul. And it was very, to tell her what she needed to know without breaking her heart was always my life work I had to encourage her and make her understand that yes you can have anything you can go for it you can get it but here's a couple of things that you might want

to think about right so that was all because I mean yeah she's tough but she has a really soft heart and she can crack and has to then go away somewhere and glue herself back together before she comes out to face the masses. Right. She's so, that's such a great, no, that's such, first of all, you guys, Kelty's crying. So she does have a sensitive soul. Apparently Sheila's the only one who can bring it out. I'm just kidding. We know this about Kelty. I feel like that description is so first of all hearing your the way that you've dealt with her it makes it so clear of why she is the way she is right um but also it's such a great description of just who she is in general and how she became that way well and also i feel like you're exactly the type of mom

that somebody like kelty needs yeah where if like kelty if you had my mom you it was sweet jesus She would have just coddled me into like a ball. I would have never left the house. No, no, not at all. Like you needed that tough love and that almost like realistic approach where it's like, this is life. This is the way it's going to knock you down. I'm here to support you and help you improve rather than being like, you're the best person in the world. Like, I think that that has made you such an incredible human through that type of a parenting. yeah thank you jack you know it was it's true kelty uh from the time she was very small had such big ideas kelty was not a one box kind of a person boy she had big ideas she was going

to start january 1 planning her birthday party at four years old and we were doing loot bags and cakes. And, and she had the whole ball of wax. And I needed her to understand that you have to have failures, but that they can't break you. And I wanted her to understand that fine, this is fabulous, you're going to have these kind of lofty goals, then nothing is not doable. So that was number one. Yes, Kelty, you can do it. And I believed in her from the get go. But you also have to be able to get yourself up after you've been knocked down because the world is a really tough place. So I wanted to teach her how to handle mean girls and how to be able to overcome overcome all of those things that are, people are going to put in, in her as an obstacle

for all sorts of their own personal reasons. Right. So, and then my second, that's so beautiful, mama. I love you, hon. Okay. So the other thing is I was, so, you know, I never talked about my first husband really until the book and then wrote this essay about it. And mom read like one of the first versions of the book and helped me edit my stuff. And, um, anyway, so I never really talked about it. And then since we talked about it in the book, I've like talked about it more and more, but I can't imagine that. Like, what the mom? Like, why? That's very funny because my very same words were what the Kelty you're 21. What are you doing? marrying a stranger off a ship are you crazy did you like sit her down and have this conversation

like please don't do this or what was the you just kind of they just are like they were in the wake of my earthquake yeah you know what that was probably one of the times uh the scariest times for us seriously because this eruption happened uh and again we were just along for the ride um i have to say how much i love chris knight i just want to put that right out there right now kelty's first wedding uh was probably one of the worst experiences of my entire life and it was unbelievable I can't imagine how she felt and I guess I can't imagine because here I was an educated mother a career a family and this whole scenario shattered me to the core I was phoning home from the inside of Kelty's closet crying when I was there getting her ready

to be married it was so um the fact that she's managed to uh come out of that and have the wherewithal to have a manifested list of things that she needed in the perfect man or the new yeah perfect but it's interesting because i was so there was like a period of my 20s when i was really scared of failing and i it wasn't that i was scared of failing for me because i knew i would get onto the next, but I was scared of like everyone at home knowing that like this thing that I had been like, I'm doing this. It's going to be great. It was like a disaster, you know, like, and I was really ashamed of that. And I remember when I called my parents to be like, we're splitting up. I'm getting, I'm leaving him. They were like, cool. They were so happy.

I remember that time so well. And I remember Kelty's dad saying to her on the phone. And of course, you know, we're just ordinary people. And when you get married on this level of a wedding in New York City, and you're ordering Greyhound buses to take people to churches and, and places where I mean, it was costly. Oh, my goodness. So that was one thing. And I think Kelty when she had to tell us that, oh, yeah, not gonna work. I'm leaving. I remember two things. What I said to her and what ken said to her and i will tell you what ken said first he said peanut nobody should live unhappy you pack your things and you go and we'll worry about everything else after i said to her i can't believe you don't want to take some of that beautiful crate and barrel

glass you've got. Oh, yes. And I did. And I said, can't you get it? Yes. Wow. Can't you get it? She said, I'm only taking one suitcase, mom. I said, can't you get a second suitcase and pack some of that beautiful glass? You're going to need all that. Oh my God. Mom, love you. Okay. When we come back, mom's going to fix your life. Wait, I have one more question. Okay. If there's a piece of advice that you've given Kelty over the years, but hasn't necessarily taken it? Or is there a piece of advice you now want to give her? What is the most important thing you hope she takes or, you know? She's looking at her notes. No, I think that Kelty has taken almost all of the advice I'd given her, but I need to continue telling her to be gentle with herself because she

is her own worst critic she is her own worst enemy uh the world will be kinder to her than kelty in the deep darkness of the dark of the night my mind it's true it's so true yep i think you've been better at it kelty though or you've been working on that at least working at it yeah i've been working at it yeah yeah the note has well and you know what makes a difference is having a really good support system it's really hard to do that when you feel like you're kind alone in the world. But when you've got a strong spouse and you've got a great home life and you've surrounded yourself with some fabulous, strong, like-minded women, it's a little bit easier to get past that despair. So true. All right. So Kelsey, you just, you need more friends. I think

that that's, that will be a note that will never be taken. That's a no, you do not. And that's, If one thing I know as an aging woman, pare down the friendship, pare down ones that don't matter, have just a few that really count because too many, too much work, too much drama. Spreading yourself too thin for people that don't deserve it. Yeah, for sure. Okay. We need to talk about third love.

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program so much and it's definitely helped me which you can see on my instagram neutral ask the lady gang you ready i am ready i'm loved i'm excited okay our first question comes from mckenzie she says i'm 24 and recently divorced my ex-husband left me out of nowhere right before our first anniversary. It was a very public and unexpected, and my ex-mother-in-law even helped him fill out the papers and helped him leave me. I love myself and I know my worth, so the fact that my ex cheated doesn't make me stop wanting to find a loving relationship in the future. Is it bad that I don't want to give my time to anyone who doesn't seem like the quote-unquote whole package, or should I just chill and go on a bunch of dates when coronavirus is over, she says.

wow that's quite a story for someone who's only 24 I think the very best thing that you can do at this point in your life is not go on a bunch of dates I think the last thing you need is to date you need to maybe go on dates with yourself you need to find other things to do you need to strengthen your own relationships with other people. But I think you need to spend, I always think, and I don't know, because I haven't had a breakup marriage. But I think that it is absolutely crucial to spend time with yourself. And how long that is, is individual for everyone. But I think no, don't date, just hang with yourself, figure out and get back on you know strengthen that feeling that you have about yourself and I think

too if she's 24 years old that's such like an integral part of your life that if you've been with this guy for so long you probably don't even know who you are without him and like what actually makes you you so that is such good advice to kind of figure that out and if you do go on dates kind of think of them as just having fun rather than like trying to find your next husband it's like you jack after you went through your bad breakup you were like i'll just date anyone well that's it i was gonna say i went on so many dates but then i also was very fucked up so like i didn't really do the right thing but i think that it is good to also go out there and see that there are other men that aren't your that aren't your asshole husband because you just know oh i do think so

but i do think that um because you're only 24 that's so young i think you've got to figure out who you are so that when you make your next pick, you're making it on a, from a point of strength in your own womanhood, in your own power, uh, rather than just becoming who the guy wants you to be, which is so easy to do when you're young. Good one. Yeah. Yes. Okay. Next question comes from anxious b i'm a 23 year old 23 year old canadian who dreams larger than life kelty i have already moved from eastern canada to west canada and i'm now thinking about heading south to california i've never visited the states but i know la would be the place for me i'm a fashion photographer looking to work with recognizable clients i keep debating if i should follow my gut

feeling and dream life or if i should move to vancouver and keep it safe what advice and reassurance can you give? Ooh, this is Kelty adjacent. I feel like. Yeah. I mean, Becca, you did the same thing. You were in New York when you were really young, like just going for it. Yeah. Well, I'm going to give like advice. That's not really like people advice. It's business advice, but being in Vancouver right now and working right now, I actually think that starting in Vancouver, starting to make a business in Vancouver is sort of a great place to build your portfolio because there are a lot of notable people up here myself included um just you know becca i was going to say exactly the same thing i don't think it's an either or situation yeah but

i think that los angeles is one of the hardest places to break in and i don't think you're going to be um stacking the deck in your favor if you show up there without a portfolio without some stuff behind you right canada is a kinder country vancouver is a happening place for that business and i think that it would be much wiser to make that move to vancouver spend some time there and then like you say build a portfolio build some clients and make the move at the right time because i'm sure as kelty has said uh talent is just such a small part of it it's timing that is huge a little bit of luck yes you make your own luck but um timing is huge and to show up in a great big metropolis expecting to make it without anything backing you is just a lose-lose

and there's a reason i mean la eats people alive like every single day because everybody has that thought in their mind where they're like i'm gonna move to la and it'll be so easy and it's really not so like you said i think it is a great it's like a stepping stone yeah i'm not so sure that a nice canadian person whether you're well moved or not i don't think you can really understand the cutthroatness of an la lifestyle wait can i give a little more advice for this photographer yes so you should do your race if you come to vancouver do your research see what shows are shooting here and see what people are what shows people are on and then you dm people people love free things and people who are on TV also love free attention. So you DM them and you

say, I'm and photos of themselves. So you say, I'm, you know, I would love to extend a complimentary photo shoot. I can make it really easy for you. Uh, you know, let me know that happens all the time. And if you're persistent and 10 people might say no, and one person might say yes, but that's all it takes one. Yes. And also write Becca and get your photo shoot going. Well, and you never know. I mean, we have dealt with it and have had people reach out to us. It's like, just because somebody seems like too big of a thing to catch doesn't mean that they are like, no, there are smaller people that'll be like, you're not worth my time. And then there might be an A-list actress that's like, I need some new pictures. So you're just like, you never know. I love that. Okay. Last question comes from the Spanish chick. She says my relationship with my mother is at a breaking point and I don't know what to do. we recently were on the phone and I hung up on her because she was being verbally abusive to me I felt guilty for hanging up so I called her back the next day and apologized but I was met with hostility yelling and anger where she told me I needed her more than she needed me I know her

reactions and anger stems from her lack of power over me and not feeling like I need her anymore she wants to have a close relationship with me but I don't know if I should cut my mother out of my life completely or if I should just continue the cycle of chaos I do love her with all of my heart so any and all advice is appreciated to madre muy mal that's a hard one yeah uh because first of all uh we all know that family can be toxic and just because their family doesn't mean that we don't have to take them out of our lives if they are so toxic that it isn't good for anybody uh having said that nobody should ever cut their mother out completely uh you need your mother but you do need to set boundaries so i would suggest starting to set boundaries

if she's willing maybe getting some counseling uh maybe writing letters instead of meeting on the phone or face to face writing down your feelings um but i i definitely think you shouldn't stop and just throw your relationship to the side you have to continue trying with boundaries and recognizing that not all people are in our lives forever yeah it's a tough one it is tough when it's you and your mom for sure Yeah. It's hard to get to a place in your life where you are an adult and you see the flaws of your parents and everybody has flaws and everybody's parents have flaws, but it's all, you know, it's all relative. So I can't imagine how hard that would be to be an adult and love your

mother. And also you do need your mother. I think everybody feels that, that need, whether she's nice to you or not, it's, it's your mom. She'll always be your mom, but yeah, it's setting boundaries and saying, I won't engage. If you want to be hurtful and you want to be abusive to me, I can't engage. I'm protecting myself. Of course. And I feel like, um, I think that therapy for you, for her is the most important thing. Like whether or not mom ever gets help. It's like, if you had someone on your team that you're each week talking to and you're working out your next response, you're walking through like where the, how it's triggering you and you can kind of like get your plan, then when you have to deal with her, at least until you get

over this hump, you have like a plan and you have someone on your side. So you're not trying to like just figure it out. And then you're also not trying to bombard your significant other, your friends with this like very intimate, emotional relationship that probably they don't have the bandwidth to like help you through. That's my thought. Totally true. But not, and not to continue going down this vortex of this incredibly toxic abuse of kinds of uh conversations you're right kelty that's an excellent idea um all right well on this on that note mom has a private instagram so you can't follow her but you can't follow me at kelty oh my god and um and you can follow at jack vanek and at becca and the lady gang and i'm so happy you came on mom you did

such a good job she's wearing a black turtleneck a sassy earring a nice glass she has a professional sounding i hope we got through your notes if you didn't if the girls like this episode maybe you can come back and do your other half of your notes yes you know what i i didn't even look at my notes i was just so uh very privileged to talk about kelty and of course as both your moms know we are so proud of you girls we love you to the moon and back uh we think you are doing such uh fabulous things in the world for girls for women and i know that uh we we just want the best for all of you no thank you and we know that there's there's no limit as to how much good you can do thank you certainly no limit with kelty's brain

yeah we will see you next Tuesday that feels inappropriate thanks for listening the Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber Will Sterling, Steve Delameter and Jared Monaco

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