LadyGang - Kimberly Perry

Episode Date: September 24, 2019

The Band Perry's Kimberly Perry joins the LadyGang to talk about her new music, inspiration behind her most popular song, and her transition from Country into Pop music. Plus, she's helping answer some of your questions! Shout out to today's sponsors! Butcher Box - New members get ground beef for LIFE plus $20 off your first box by going to butcherbox.com/lady or enter code LADY at checkout. Daily Harvest - Get $25 off your first box by going to dailyharvest.com and enter promo code LADY. Prive Revaux - Get 15% off your first order at priverevaux.com and use promo code LADYGANG15. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, the following podcast is a Lady Gang Network and Podcast One production, which means it's going to be awesome. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here.

Each week we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Gang. I'm Becca Tobin here with Jack Vanek and Kelty Knight. night. Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday. I've never seen somebody so happy about Tuesday before. It's a big day. Me either. Texty Tuesday. Oh, remember that? I'm just kidding. That was mine, wasn't it? I don't remember. I don't know. Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? I think that we should just say that about everything. Who fucking cares? Who fucking cares? That's

like when I used to go shopping with my best friend Erica when we lived in New York and we like we're making no money on Broadway and we go to Barney's I don't know why and we would just be so bitter the whole time we were there because everything's so expensive and like one one day the saleswoman came walking by me and she's like hey can I help you with anything and I go yeah how much for this piece of shit so now Erica and I every time we're shopping we're like yeah how much for this piece of shit and the woman's face was this fucking shitty Gucci bag yeah like horrified yeah it's like a zimmerman dress she's like uh i believe it's 800 i'm like of course it is i like walk trash guess who's out of business now barney's it is they went bankrupt babe that

doesn't mean they're out of business whatever yeah that's not the same they're still gonna be around though right yeah that just means they if they did chapter 11 they cleared their day and then they don't have to pay anybody and then they can still be in business that is the best idea can someone chapter 11 i know can't wait to get chapter 11 all right okay well and that And on that, it's time for, oh, Jesus. Good week. Yes, it is. Bad week.

Oh, no. Who wants to start? I'll go. My good week. It has been a while, but I have a new Lady Gang dictionary term. God damn it. I have a Lady Gang dictionary term. Hopefully it's not the same.

I hope it's the same. My term is sadgetty. Is that yours? Nope. Spaghetti? Spaghetti? Sadgetty is when one eats spaghetti all alone while also being sad and depressed. i can't think of a like sadder like visual i'll use it in a sentence how was dinner last night

i had sad getty it's genius it's pretty good i have like a sad witch instead of a sad sad witch it's like the lady in the tramp like i picture the lady in the tramp and then like they kiss at the end but it's just you by yourself with like a little bit of spastic sauce and then the end of the thing comes like kind of like flailing out of your mouth and gets on your white t-shirt it and stains it and like it's never the same that's sad getty do you guys have a thing i have this thing i could i could actually shed a tear like cry when i'm at a restaurant or a place to eat or a cafeteria or something and i see someone eating alone really even if i eat alone a lot choice i love to eat alone i eat alone today for lunch at the sandwich place no at flower child oh

i get so sad thinking about like what if this person doesn't want to be alone what if i what if they're lonely and they have no friends at all in their whole life and that's all that they're doing what's happening oh okay callie's just so cute callie's just oh that's adorable yeah hi she knows i won't give her attention so it's a terrible mom okay so it's just me cool I mean, do you eat alone? You don't ever go out to eat, ever. Oh, if I can help it, but I do eat alone. Yeah.

I don't think eating alone is weird, like at home. No, I eat alone out. You do? I almost usually eat alone. What's the last restaurant you went to? I literally was in London and went and ate Indian food and waited in line for 45 minutes for this, like, amazing Indian place that was going to be so good and ate by myself. When?

I cannot imagine. Like, three weeks. In the summer. This summer. In the summer. when did i go to london last whenever i last restaurant you went to not not alone you could be with other people oh the last restaurant oh i went to a place uh when i was in toronto with renee who works on extra and we went and to this place called something it was like thai food

but super healthy and it was delicious there was like a deep fried broccoli that doesn't sound my I can't even imagine. Fried food gives me gas. I love when people mistake vegan for healthy because fried broccoli is not healthy. It wasn't fried. It was like pan fried. Oh, in like a sesame oil. Go f*** yourself, Jack.

Orly. Why is everyone judging me so hard? I'm not judging you. It felt like you were always judging me. Your life is like efficiency. So like the idea of you in a restaurant like luxuriating is like against every grain of your being. not new kelty killing that kelty 4.0 no enjoying a meal if she could have it like a feeding tube i would she would i would you know what i would have a feeding tube six days a week and then one

day a week enjoy snacking like i do like to go out for a meal but no you don't not every day and when you're an adult you have to feed yourself three times a day that's true i i love feeding myself three times a day too and always at a restaurant you don't get to the place like at the end of the day where you're like oh my god it's almost dinner time i'm so excited yes yesterday i worked very late and i had leftover indian food from the weekend and i was like i can't wait to go home and warm this up in the micro and eat this panang i can't believe you like indian food i love it i feel like you don't like anything that's like a real food well when it's when indian food is a great vegetarian option that is true right all

the curries all the curries and the sauces and you mix with a little rice i don't do the naan i love race i love non okay anyway okay my bad week is so back to the show your good week was sad getty my bad week is so i've been trying to like manifest things you know i made my manifest list and like i try to think good thoughts and like bring it into like real life but i only seem to be able to manifest like negative bad things so i've been working a lot at this restaurant called rose cafe by my apartment even for saying you've been working a lot i was like damn it's not that dire we just got a paycheck are you okay so anyways i've taken up a side job uh being a waitress for the first time in my life now i've been working you'd be so bad

this is why i tip so well when i like go out to eat because i'm like i could never do your job it's so bad oh i'd get fired in a nanosecond yeah it would be even even a shorter reign than your 24 hours at old navy i lasted three weeks thank you 18 days i think that's two weeks but whatever okay so I've been working at Rose Cafe a lot Rose Cafe is in Venice and the other morning I was thinking about the fact that I've dated pretty much everybody in Venice it's weird that I haven't run into anybody that I've dated especially at Rose it's like a you know a happening spot I was in the shower and I'm like oh it's so weird especially this guy Travis like he lives right by Rose Cafe it's it's kind of odd that I've just never run into him Travis then I'm

at rose cafe he is a boy i'm at rose cafe doing my work i look up who's two feet in front of me travis like an hour after i was like thinking about him we make eye contact and then i look away and then i pretended like i never saw him and then i thought about how weird is it that i have had sex with this individual he has been inside me and i was just two feet away from him and pretended like I didn't know who he was. Well, I think it probably says a lot about me. Yeah. What about him?

He didn't say hi. I'm just joking. But you know, it's like when you see people that you've dated that you don't want to talk to and you pretend they don't exist, it's such an odd thing to do. And I just did it. I've been in a deep ex-boyfriend K-hole. Like you've been stalking her?

Two different ex-boyfriends reached out to me this week. Who? How you doing? What? My high school ex-boyfriend, Kevin Duff, who lives in a van, was like, hey, saw you're in San Diego. I'm driving down to Ensenada's. That's where I teach wiffle ball or something.

I was like, okay. And then a guy that I dated, I can't remember exactly when. I was a rockette. He was Canadian. Do you think that these cute guys come out of the woodwork since your surgery with Dr. Diamond? Yeah, kind of. oh maybe his time they're really liking my neck his time op had brought up a photo of my butt

oh my god from when we were hiking and he texted me the picture of my butt and he's like still got it and i was like i am married that is weird kind of hot though i felt like i felt like you know what wish wish wish chris knight would tell me i was pretty because look at the effect it's having right now from a stranger that i knew 10 years ago they only knew if they only knew so true i don't no one reaches out to me because you would never reply well no i've changed my phone number so many times i'm thinking about another change really uh-huh why i love changing my phone number it's it's actually a good move is exhilarating i fucking love it i think i might do it today actually oh my god what's a good week a bad week do you need a new phone for a new phone

number no they can change it on your phone oh that's tight i think i'm doing it do it let me tell you something i just love that i can get to you but you can't get to me that's nice i can save all my contacts so if i need to text you i will but but you can't get to me but hopefully you don't have anything important to tell me because you can't reach me right it's not going to be important i also didn't change my address when i moved i only told the people i wanted to hear from where i was going that's great that's pretty smart somebody's gonna get some such annoying mail it's so true catalogs coming for you i recently had to like go to my old house and steal boxes off the stairs because they were mine and no one's living in the house yet and i think it's illegal

but it had my name on it it was mine illegal what's her good week bad week look she's freaking out no i'm not no i'm not i fully enjoyed that story i waited for you to finish it okay number one my bad week is the office is going to be coming off netflix netflix and shortly but guess what's coming on seinfeld it is yes in 2021 all of it two years but it's coming what i wonder what is what what decides what comes on and off they paid 500 million dollars to get seinfeld no yes i mean that's smart jerry seinfeld is so freaking rich they're so rich larry davis worth like almost a billion dollars yeah it's unreal okay i'm done what's your good week that i said it seinfeld is coming on netflix her bad week his office is gone good week seinfeld on i was so brisk i barely

caught it and i am paying attention i'm very present um okay well i have a new word let me grab my phone but that's not as good as sad getty it's kind of good um but it you know what it's not a competition sad which i just which is good too ew nothing is sadder than this you know someone eating a sandwich why i feel like a sandwich is a fast meal no it's weird it's it's sadder somebody eating a sandwich alone than somebody having like a four-course meal alone why i don't like the thought i don't know i have something weird it's triggering for me okay we've used this before the word is celt down but now we've no but listen someone took the time to make an official like dictionary definition okay celt down you did when no this wasn't me

it was a girl in a facebook group celt down when your type a personality causes you to spiral inspired by the queen of type a ladies kelty knight example the disorganization of that meeting caused me to have a major kelt down that's pretty good yeah should we use that definition for our book we i think it's in oh yeah that's a good idea the new definition okay um i had a major faux paw as my bad week okay faux faux faux faux paw i had an accidental meat eating oh i've done that when i was vegetarian oh so i had lunch with my friend in toronto and she ordered the baked eggs and they looked a delicious and i was like i'm gonna order the baked eggs for the next day's breakfast so i ordered them and i'm eating away eating away and

i was like i love when you do this i was like wait a second this is too good i was like this isn't tomato sauce this is meat sauce and it was delicious and it was pretty good and i was eating eating and then i looked at my producer i was like is this meat and i was this this is not meat these are sun-dried tomatoes and then he tasted he was like that's definitely meat so i had an accidental meat eating and meat is delicious did your stomach explode no but i see nobody's does it doesn't it's like that's an old that's not true when i cut certain things out of my diet and revisit them again like dairy meat though or dairy i've never cut meat out for longer than like a day i don't think meat's the problem i think it isn't the problem meat doesn't like

make people like shit their pants it's like the dairy but like i would think that your stomach would freak out well i had two forkfuls let's but mine didn't when i ate meat for the first time in like eight years i was fine yeah most people i'm not back on the meat i'm letting everyone know that i'm not but how good was it but i hadn't it's been the last time better than not meat no uh the last time i had an accidental meat eating was like i think in 2007 and i had an accidental bacon and a mac and cheese in the south i had an accidental eight pork spring rolls in china shit and i did i thought they were veggie and i'm like ew wow this is the best chinese meal i've ever had and then my friend after i finished all eight of them she's like i can't believe you

decided to eat meat for the first time in china it's probably anyway yeah all right all right well when we come back she's here kimberly perry okay what's going on now here's the lady gang our guest today is the star lead singer of the band perry their songs are either topping the charts being certified platinum or making you cry on your way to work in the car not saying that i've done that but i've definitely done that they've sold over 13 million singles have 1.75 plus plus plus billion streams that's a lot of streams and five number one songs their new singles the good life and night swim are out now and they're making us feel those feelings anyways she's hot she can sing she's a grammy award winner please welcome to the podcast kimberly perry

welcome can you just live with me every day and like can we start the day like that every day she's the best hype woman no i i need to tell you something i slept a little bit because you're so sweet i slept on your hotness and this last music video is i think it's not night swim the good life it's a little wet hair it's a little black right am i thinking the right which is a new thing for I mean, every time I gain weight, yeah, I'm like, I want to just gain weight because my boobs are like the place that I lose weight first. So I was like, let me just eat a lot of sugar for this one. Wear a high-waisted pant. You know what I mean?

Yeah, you can't see anything down there. It's the perfect combo. No, it's real cute. You're really, mm-mm-mm. Okay, so country to pop. Have you felt happy? Have you felt fulfilled? The pop world is hard.

There's more booty shorts. More booty shorts. There's more hair extensions. it's a whole new world I like booty shorts and hair extensions which is really the only reason that we switched yeah um no you know what it's funny um right when we started to make music that didn't have as many banjos on it we did this thing that I actually I won't call it a regret I just feel like it was heavy-handed um we said you know this is us making pop music and we defined it and really it's like the world has changed so much there's no genre it's like genre fluid like

you can literally be whatever so i actually because we mix so much into our sound and because i still actually like banjos i just i wish that in one sense that we hadn't over defined it because i don't really call it pop music either it's just sort of like band peri music and getting to that place where it's like let's just be our truest self if we want to put a synth on it let's do it if not let's put a banjo on it but so many other country artists are doing that too where it's like that has muddled itself so much anyways where even like a country song sounds like a pop song like sung with an accent it's so beautiful and like casey musgraves can wear valentino like that was not the same situation four years ago and i'm really excited to see the genre grow but

even more than that like the world grow around it and really be focused on the great stuff that comes from country well because all you hot bitches came out in your cute dresses and everyone couldn't look at country music the same way let me tell you this when we put out our first single y'all I look back at my first red carpet what were you I did my own hair and makeup like do you know what it was for it was CMT awards maybe 2011 and I did have on a Dolce and Gabbana dress that I did pay for myself because we had a song on the radio but I did my own hair and makeup it was it was so funny but then like you know freaking gorgeous Maren Morris comes out like from the like dress to the wait is it this short little baby um no that was even like

professional hair and makeup here before i was gonna say i was like this looks like you did your own hair and makeup i said i was gonna say you look amazing it's blatantly obvious when you find it and is it black yes that's it i did my own hair and makeup let me see i mean i love it honestly someone this looks like someone could have given you this look like that's fierce oh yeah is your hair naturally like this um not now because I've done way too much blonde since then like platinum so it is fried right now but this is how I tried to get my hair to look like isn't it yeah like that's all I just want like a big lion hair so I'm jealous oh my god no I still think you look cute I do too how old were you when you guys started like at that point at that point um I would have

probably been how old am i now i would have been probably 25 here's my question there's always a song when it comes out that becomes like the band's song like oh god i love them for that song your song is about dying young even young death and it's like like i mean you you have so many good songs but that's the one that's the song did you think it was going to be the one it's a special song. I knew it was special. Um, but it was actually the first song that I had written all by myself. So when I grew up, I was like very self-conscious about wanting to have somebody else write with me. I was like, Oh, I can't do this by myself. Like I need, I need some assistance. And so I remember that was the first song that I kind of had like halfway done and I

played it for my mom and she's like, ah, you need to finish that one by yourself. And I was like, no, no, no, no. I'm going to like go and take it to Nashville. Like I'm going to get it done with a professional songwriter she's like uh-uh i'm telling you go up to your bedroom like write that song by yourself oh my god and so um and i did and i was really really grateful you know that she saw it probably first before i did and do you sing it as your encore every night you know what we put it right in the middle of the set okay really that's what are the choices of that why do you do that because we had it as the encore and it's so sad and i was like this is not a weird way i like to end on high yeah yeah if people aren't literally like hanging from the

rafters at the end of the show it's been a failed night yeah failed experiment yeah we just sort of address it sing it all together and then move on like let's uh but people are like it's just such a weird phenomenon because you're at the concert and then you play it and you turn to your friend you're like i love this song about young death it's crazy though because it's like there's always a different mood some nights you can tell like people are dealing with loss yeah sure and so we sing it different but then some nights they're there just to party on the song and it just is more like oh this reminded me of ninth grade or because it's still like a sing it can be like a sing-along nursery rhyme right but like i wrote it in appalachia over in east tennessee and like

they have the creepiest like bluegrass nursery rhymes that they sing there all the time like actually the song was inspired by this one that i heard where this girl was like this young girl and she ended up drowning in a river and she floated downstream and this man found her which sounds so creepy um but he basically took her little body and made a fiddle oh my god out of her hair and her bones and that is a bluegrass nursery rhyme from appalachia that i heard before writing this song but to be honest all nursery rhymes are creepy so are grim's fairy tales oh yeah those are the sleeping beauty the real sleeping beauty they're dark as yeah dark have you thought about solo career life um because it's your brothers yes and no in the

sense that like they're so the best though because reed is like he has the best taste with sounds like actual gets in the track and like goes kimberly that's very uncool but let me make it cool for you um and then neil is apparently like a lyricist that i didn't even know that he was It's just, like, burgeoned over the past couple years. It is crazy. I'm like, are you really a rap artist by nature? I think he is. Okay.

Your calling is still coming. You're going to keep them. Definitely. For now. If they'll keep me. They'll definitely keep me. You all have a great dynamic, too. Like, from what I remember, it's, like, a really sweet thing.

You can tell that nobody's really, like, competing. It's, like, all really supportive. And why would you not, like, take yourself out of that if you have, like, such a good relationship? I just really want to leave the lady gang, so I'm just seeing how solo life is. Great. Best of luck. Bye. Bye.

Enjoy. I love it. Okay. Who is your most famous friend? My most famous friend? Like that we would know. That's a good question. Okay.

I have to gush. That we would know. I have to gush because this is like within the past 24 hours. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, good. New friends. So Lana Del Rey.

I am like a massive fan. Okay. And so we had, like, a mutual friend, and I was talking to this friend, and I was like, I need some, like, female artist friends. They're very hard to make sometimes, female artist friends. There's so few of us, P.S., but then it's like we're all in different places. And this buddy of mine was like, well, you know, how about I just connect you guys and see what happens? So I literally got to speak with her last night, and I was just, like, basically gushed for an hour and felt like such a fangirl. But I adore who she is and what she does and her entire artistry.

So I'm pretty stoked about it. That's cool. I'm very excited. Very cool. Did you guys talk on the phone or how do people get connected? Did you talk on the phone? Like high school. I know.

I was like, I feel like this. Wait, how do you answer the phone? I was just like, hello. Hey, Lon. So without girl. But it was very special. And yeah, I did feel like I was like, okay, I feel like I'm in ninth grade and the boy that I like is calling me.

Your crush is calling you. That's so cute. that I've liked for like five years I loved him during all middle school yeah it's finally calling me um what like celeb do you want to collaborate with the most that's a fantastic question okay Kanye West like I know I see it I just I love him he is my spirit animal um Tyler the creator I'm so in love with I like this oh my gosh like I just any artist that sort of is never beholden to like anybody else's rules and they're not afraid to like let every project be its own thing and yeah um they reinvent all the time it's just like they have no rules which

is basically why i love them yeah i'm just trying to live my life without any rules see i never really saw you as that much of a what do you call it rebel rebel rebellious you know shit word so rebellion you know but it's tricky because it's like we have such an amazing fan family and they're so patient with us you know as we're always playing around with our identity um but it's also important to me that we remember where we've come from and our very first steps into music too so that's something we've talked about a lot it's like how do we how do you embrace everything that you're becoming but always like never leave exactly who you are like how do you balance those two things even like as a woman but like also as an artist you know from the outside

looking in here's what i love i love a song i do not like it when my people are happy i talk about with my husband all the time i don't want you to be happy megan trainer is so happy right now it's not not good for music it's not good for the songs i like sadness in my music there's beauty and sadness you know what i mean like i like kanye because he's always struggling with something it's not always his relationship but he always seems like he's just having a hard time like yeah i was gonna say just that's what i like because that's what i can relate to i don't need a song I only need Pharrell's happy, and the rest of it, I'm out. I'm with you.

You don't need 15 happies. No, I only need one happy. Okay, so obviously new songs on the horizon, very personal. How do you deal with the look in your life and being able to put that stuff out there? If we're talking about, like, The Good Life, which was, like, probably the most hyper-honest song I've ever put out, and usually we like to do a lot of things, like, in metaphor,

Or were you just kind of, like, going for the specific? Sure, sure. Yeah. Didn't do that. Didn't do it. But also felt like, both from my experience, but those who are going through it themselves, who I can only imagine, like, were very similarly feeling about that environment, it just felt like the right thing to do.

Yeah. So I prepared a game for us. Amazing. We love country music. Beck actually would like to launch her country music star by opening. Right here. come on she's ready

please okay so this is for all of us so basically there are some very famous like couples in country music

that are like unbreakable we are going to insert ourselves into like the thruple so who would you like to thruple with oh okay

okay so here's the choices are you ready you already know no I just feel very easy okay Keith Urban

and Nicole Kidman Tim and Faith hot Carrie Underwood to mike fisher i love sports guy garth and trisha who's your choice obviously faith and tim like easy i went to see them what was their most recent tour they have the like heart to heart love to love soul to soul yeah and i was like god damn like the passion and like the sexual energy from both of them yeah there's a lot of energy they both look amazing still something's happening

in their home and i want to know what it is jacqueline i agree oh it's tim and faith for you yeah god 100 she said it all i need more of a reason can you explain this is a podcast we use your words already said my reason same as mine okay um wait kim did not say i was actually gonna do you gave me options i was gonna say tim and faith um because i got to tour with tim early on and like faith was out there and she did this one first of all like i grew up such a fan like still am yeah she's a wild one with an angel's face she's a woman child and a state of grace oh my god when she was three years canadian please forgive her sorry i also enjoyed faith okay but i remember um i mean we were baby baby artists right like maybe two songs on the radio and there was

this moment where we came back to our bus we've been like working out or something and came back to our bus and faith had picked wild strawberries oh my god put them in this beautiful bowl and wrote us like a little love letter and left them in our bus and i was like i want her to be my mom she's like the gwyneth paltrow country amazing yeah they both i've ever heard who was actually who was the most gracious person to you guys when you first came up honestly like tim for sure because he gave us our first like extended tour um we got to open for him and but then also like he would celebrate everybody's birthday on the road i remember he gave us like this wild like cash bonus at the end i'm like we're like the baby baby baby act out here like it was just

always very supportive and um he's been super gracious anytime we had like a question about okay business management like give us your advice he's always down to like pour into the younger generation artists and so sweet but then he's like still this generation artist like i know it's still His body fat percentage is so low. So wait, you don't want to know who I'm going to throuple with? I don't care. It's going to be boring. I am interested in Keith Urban.

I am too. Well, I was going to say that. I'm interested in Keith. He just seems like such a nice guy. Yeah. He told me that he loves a cheese sandwich, and I love cheese. Just a straight cheese sandwich. Straight up cheese sandwich.

Just cheese and bread? Like one time I was interviewing him, and we went so far down the cheese sandwich that I was like, we can't air this. No one in America wants to know about your cheese sandwich left. I think people do. I also would pick Tim and Faith. Okay. When we come back, Kim's going to fix your life.

Now back to the Lady Gang. All right. And we're back. You ready to fix some girls' lives? Let's do it. She did say that she's a bad advice giver, and so are we. So this might be like. Get ready to wreck your life.

Don't we do it with full heart? We do. I mean, we care. We just aren't that smart. Hey, ladies. Okay. Ask the Lady Gang. Okay.

first question comes from missing the dick sand she says which the dick sand is like when you like end up really falling for a guy and you get so stuck in the dick sand you're just like stuck so she says like many my previous relationships have been with the toxic toxic assholes who give you all the feels now that i'm getting older i feel like i should get away from the roller coaster of emotions that come along with trying to fix the manipulative yet oh so charming douchebags that make you fall and fall into their dick sand so i jumped into the arms of a man who loves everything about me even the me with my morning breath and makeup running down my face when i cry is super supportive and makes me feel safe he's

tall ambitious outgoing and kind which would probably be most girls dream but he doesn't give me those insane i want to you now never stop talking you always want to be around you butterflies that I had in previous relationships obviously yeah no shit because he's a good guy I was wondering were those butterflies really the manifestation of my insecurities and fear of losing those boys yes or is there something missing for me in this relationship this relationship is more of a slow burn rather than the flames like my past or is just more or is this just more of an adult relationship that I should stop being so dramatic that's a really good question actually because I struggle with this because I'm like I actually think you can

have both right i mean it's like i feel like it's like you can be excited and then it can still mature but i still feel like you have to have you have to have some attraction something but i was it you that was talking about butterflies there was something i'm gonna totally botch it but on oprah like a gajillion years ago she had some really smart person on that you're gonna totally I warned you, but she was saying that she was like the feeling, the physical feeling of butterflies is actually your instincts when you're feeling unsafe. Really? Yes.

So like unsure, unsafe, unsafe is like your fight or flight. The instability of being like, oh, he makes me feel these butterflies. But that's because you like don't fully have him. Because you think he's so great and then you might lose him. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like an actual security feeling that you should feel in a marriage or a relationship, but you probably don't because you have don't let it last yeah i think that's so smart i did not

know that see i'm learning yep but i will say i still have moments with my husband like i joke all the time that like we don't have those like oh my god butterfly obsessed whatever want to jump your bones but i think it's important like after a couple years that you still have those like glimpses or those moments like you go through life and it can be very mundane like you should still be able to have a little bit of that feeling of like oh my god that's why i fell in love with you or like yes i do actually want to take your clothes off today versus like every other day where i just could live without you like you got to have a little a little bit but i think that what she is talking about is those two differences where she's deep and she was saying she's dated

all these like toxic manipulative probably narcissistic maybe sociopathic assholes which i have also and i wasn't just talking about myself but it when you find a good one yeah it might seem boring in comparison but it is just that stability that like maybe he's not gonna another girl in front of you right kind of thing unless you ask him to okay next question which i which i wouldn't i don't even want to have sex with my husband okay here we go okay just kidding just kidding next yeah sorry chris next time from Stella says I have been in an amazing loving marriage for about four years now but it's starting to lack excitement and interest this is the same question I know what are ways that we can get the

mystery and spark do we want to we're skipping that okay there is no mystery you've been married for four years get used to the yeah sex toys yeah get a vibrator okay third question is from breakup blues I recently broke up with my boyfriend after realizing it was becoming a toxic situation that i should no longer be in i've gone through the breakup blues before but this one has been hitting me very hard i'm heartbroken even though i know it was the right thing to do and i'm wondering if you have some self-care tips for what i can do now to try and mend my heart get back out there you know what i'm gonna bring up what breakup calendar worked for me worked for me and you yeah okay here's what you do girl oh god you get a calendar this is not me okay so everyone

knows you get a calendar and then on every day of the calendar you write something that you despised about this person not anything you liked about them like the things that drive drove you crazy like sometimes when he would leave pee on the seat or whatever else it could be small it could be big his mom was a nightmare whatever it is and then every day you can get through without texting him or stalking him on instagram you cross it off and when you can get to the end of 30 full days you have been cleansed my girl you have been i did that i did this for my last breakup it was good i did i made her do it because once you when you go through a breakup and you're missing somebody you always you tend to think about what you miss about them and how great that they were and you

forget about the fact that they're a total douchebag yeah so that's a way to like really meditate on these like terrible qualities and then you have one a day you're like today is today is he has a bad relationship always yeah what do you not own bleach why are your socks so gross why are you wearing socks with holes in them we are grown-ups you know yeah chris has some socks that are questionable okay and does um that's not my advice because i don't really i think that you act like they're dead and you move on well that too you can do both i did both if i know you have one day to think about yeah you have one day to think about all the horrible things about them and then you literally act

like it's not even an option of going back they don't exist anymore. Block them on Instagram. They're not breathing. They're gone. Well, you guys go follow Kim. That's not English. Go follow Kim at the Kimberly Perry and

alright, well that's the end of the show. We will see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening and make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast. We have new episodes of Lady Gang every tuesday and thursday follow us on social media at the lady gang uh follow us personally at kelty most importantly at becca and at jack vanek and we will see you next tuesday