LadyGang - LG Presents Black Girls Texting: Rachel Lindsay Spills the Bachelor Tea

Episode Date: February 24, 2021

New to the LadyGang Network, Black Girls Texting chat with the incredible Rachel Lindsay. If you don't know, Rachel made history as the first African-American lead in the Bachelor franchise where she found love and met her husband Bryan Abasolo. They talk all things Bachelor, the infamous interview with Chris Harrison, interracial dating, and if Rachel would ever consider hosting the show. Tune in to get the full story! Listen to more Black Girls Texting: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/black-girls-texting/id1386360696  Follow @blackgirlstextingSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, Lady Gang. We've got a super special episode of our newest show, Black Girls Texting for you. We hope you enjoy it. And after, please make sure to go subscribe, rate, and review. Happy listening. all right welcome back to another episode of black girls texting it's me shag day easy hands some of y'all really thought that was my last name that's embarrassing glenn pogue the bedside brat and chelsea pinky hello ladies we are back again with another episode of black girls well that was fun i love i love bringing in the show it really it really brings me joy i mean you're doing a great job i mean i just like to to bring the energy uh even

when it's falsified because i'm sad but i want to know what is going on with you ladies i haven't really spoken to you guys so i want to know what you are leaving on read what you're replying to the juiciness in your lives because the group chat has been a little quiet on red or reply yeah well i'll go so one thing i'm leaving on red is electronics and the fact that they're not all waterproof by 2021 i spilled a full cup of tequila soda and a splash of lime on my computer and it is currently flipped upside down i'm trying to figure out how i can scam apple and not let them know that it's water damage allegedly and right right that was not recorded it um so yeah I'm pissed I don't understand why computers aren't waterproof like obviously people are drinking wine and typing

out stories like duh why aren't they waterproof by now and I am replying to Naomi Osaka winning the Australian Open she's just a gem like I'm obsessed with her of course we all love Serena and I don't even want to do the comparison thing but I am so proud that there's another young woman coming up who is doing the damn thing um I'm also laughing out loud at the fact that she you know at the end of her winning she asked the woman she played against Jennifer Brady she was like do you like being called Jennifer or Jenny the woman says Jenny and she calls her Jennifer anyways I don't know if it was shade or a mistake but I'm here for it either way shout out to Naomi i love her i was trying to figure that out too i was like because she just said

jennifer or whatever one and then she said the other thing and i was like is she being shitty on purpose i thought it was like an edit then i was like well maybe she just made a mistake she's nervous but it was i know it was probably nerves she's such a sweetie such a sweetie but that she even took the moment in this the middle of her speech in this fucking like stadium to pause and clarify the girl's name it's kind of nice kind of but the girl also looks so tight they were like they were like it was in this moment and they like screenshotted her face of when the n-word was floating around in her brain fucking twitter did you see like the butterflies that were like landing all over naomi osaka while she was playing it was so gorgeous

literally gorgeous and she just like took a moment and just like gracefully lifted them off her body and let them fly away i'm just obsessed and i know she like technically represents japan but like she always makes it very clear that she's also haitian she at the last competition she had all the mass of all these um murdered black human beings and she was like saying their names like i'm obsessed with her so shout out to naomi fucking stand her down um speaking of black history makers um i'm gonna leave i'm going to not leave on red i'm going to reply to miss erica hart's series of black people telling black history that she's doing it is in fucking credible um erica hart has joined us on our show she also did a live show with us we love we love her um

go check out the series that she's doing um there have been amazing topics this one that i watched was on texturism um there's one on um colorism there was one on um trans spirituality like so many different topics every single day and it's all told through the lens of different experts essentially how did i miss this my instagram algorithm is racist i think she's like low-key shadow banter um it's so fire so fire um and then i'm going to leave on red these recent spikes in um hate crimes against asian folk which we saw a lot right like just after um covid really started to spread and i think was definitely um charged up by our former prez saying so many ignorant things stepping up onto podiums right um and i was reading a couple things like this whole like

our whole geopolitical sphere is designed so that we just look at asia in a bad light for a multitude of reasons um but there's just been spikes in literally like physical attacks in um cities all over the country in chinatowns all over the country um and i read this interesting article in eater that was saying that as folks are trying to show that they're like standing in solidarity with Asian communities. They're like going to Chinatown and like ordering food and saying like, keep Chinatown alive, support your, your communities. But all we're really doing is ultimately like using these, these spaces, these communities and these people for consumption, um, and not like really being allies and supporting them. Um, which is, which

was interesting for me to think about in terms of the ways Black folk need support and how we've often been consumed um so I just bring that up because there's lots of like overlap in our struggles in many ways and you know I ride for my Asian brethren. Glenn's back to tapping when she gets very passionate but um yeah I have also been seeing a lot of conversation around kind of dismantling this rhetoric around the model minority and um the racism in the Asian community towards black folks so like I think now is a perfect time to have these conversations because if we want to be allies for one another we also need to not be racist towards one another right really and I'm so glad you brought that up Sade because I and I'm gonna be you know this is a podcast and we're

honest and open I was having mixed feelings I was like should I post anything about this like because I don't always feel supported on the other side um I ultimately did post something about it because obviously it's wrong and I'm just going to stand in my truth and believing that it's wrong. But I'm so glad you brought that up. This needs to be, it needs to go both ways. We need to have allyship and support each other. And that's the only way you beat white supremacy. We can't do it, you know, in little vacuums. So hopefully people wake up. Yeah, I totally agree. I do think that like, it's important that we just support each other across the board because we're not each other's enemy ultimately. And now that you said that,

both of y'all bring this up a note for the future we should bring on some asian ladies at some point and have a conversation yes yes i have many in mind and yeah i really like that glenn send the email right now sis because i'm like that would be an amazing episode um yeah we can have some real talk real talk like really get into it i am going to start with my red it's very short and breathe um go to hell Ted Cruz like literally go to hell um and and burn he is the worst like literally don't understand how he could get worse you know like because he consistently shows his ass like week after week and then in the midst of this crisis in Texas your boy dips down to Cancun And then says he was just taking his girls because they had the week off.

And I'm like, that is not a good excuse. Like your girls, nobody needs to be going anywhere. Number one, Mexico that you talk so badly about. Now you're fleeing to Mexico with your family because there's no running water. Well, I'm sure his community had running water and they had everything good to go. But it's just so disgusting and so disappointing. it's like very frustrating to see that we pay taxes we you know do all these things and the government is allegedly supposed to take care of us but then you have to have go fund me's and you

have to have celebrity and you have to have us as a community helping other Americans when something like this happens it literally does not make any sense to me and I'm gonna get off my soapbox but I definitely do want to have conversations around the way we look at capitalism and socialism because everything that we're doing right now in supporting one another and community is essentially socialism. So I don't understand why people have such a problem with it. And the whole reason that a lot of Texans have issues with their power grids is because there was this capitalist desire to literally separate the lines between Texas. It's, it's, it's absurd. And, and, and wait, you brought up GoFundMe. So I just want to read this tweet real fast. Yes, please.

Um, millions of, yeah, millions of Americans are struggling to pay for life's essentials right now. Every day we see fundraisers for rent, utilities, and even groceries, but GoFundMe was never made to be a source of support for basic needs and it can never replace the, and it can never be a replacement for robust federal relief. So the way how I feel is it's beautiful that people are getting together and doing this and that's all good and dandy but what the f is the point of our government if we have to do this our damn selves and we're paying taxes and then i have to come out my pocket my pocket it's crazy it's wild chris what are you applying to shot a oh sorry were you gonna well i'm just gonna say if if folks still um do feel so inclined and if you're

in the position to and are able to give um friend of the pod darkest hue on instagram that's darkest dot hue has been putting together um tons of slides of resources of um not resources i'm sorry she like put together kind of like a database of black folks that are in need of help right now um with their cash apps and venmo information on there so if you can give if you're in a position to give go check out her page yes we love to see it we love to see it she's really doing the work that oh my gosh maybe the government should be doing a concept a concept anywho um I am replying to a really fun weekend that I had I am smitten with a certain person that like it's so funny because he was like are you going to talk about me on the podcast and I

was like probably and he was like okay well don't specify my profession so I was like okay I'll say you're a cyclist because at the moment there was this man like biking near me so um I met this cyclist and I think he's really cute and I had some fun and I was like wow I like getting you know back out there flexing that muscle and my sex appeal so I'm replying to that for all you ladies who may have been in a tumultuous crazy relationship had a whirlwind breakup um you too can get back out there and I'm here to inspire you today yeah Shada it's funny you said that because my my best friend visited me and she's a single gal and you guys know my mom she always gives unsolicited advice yes so my mom we love it my mom was basically like you have one life to live

I'm not saying be crazy and be so risky, but you need to experience things and you need to go outside and you need to talk to people and you need to put yourself out there because if not, your life is going to pass you by and you're going to have a bunch of what ifs. So yeah. And putting yourself out there is so key because like I'm doing things now that I would never do like the way I like communicate. And I'm super blunt and honest about my thoughts or my feelings, which typically I'd be like, oh, you can't, you can't say that.

you can't like show your hand I'm practicing vulnerability hashtag Brene Brown hashtag Brene Brown we love to see it but I'm super excited to talk about our upcoming guests but first I want to know is anyone's hotline bling is that how it goes yes I can't even do do do do is that how it goes no girl that's not it but what's it what's what's happening no just very foolishly very quick very dumb um this little uh rendezvous that i had in ghana like two summers ago that i don't think i've ever talked about in detail on this show but do not say your hat line is blinging from that man oh it is always blinging from him are you kidding me still yes all the time are you guys kidding but um he recently tagged me in a photograph of him and videos of him in the gym like running on

the treadmill lifting weights and sweating bullets that's me and three other women oh it's a call to action crazy i love to see it i was trying to get you on the compound in the community just like just in case you forgot i'm in here getting these gains i'm upset and these three other young ladies i'm literally going to do that he tagged me in his own damn pictures i never heard of it before it's iconic and now i'm gonna go post a story and you know like tag people behind the picture and they're gonna be like what i fucking dare you i will i absolutely will i already have people in mind let's go my good sis that's a black girl doing shit okay so our black girl doing shit this week is none other than the gorgeous rachel lindsey rachel lindsey currently

works as a correspondent with Extra, as well as co-hosting amazing podcasts such as The Bachelor Happy Hour and The Ringer's Higher Learning with Van Lathan, which highlights Black culture, politics, and sports. She also co-hosts Ghosted, Love Gone Missing on MTV, Sis is Booked, and Busy. In 2020, she created her monthly blog, Honestly Rage, where she delves into love, life, career, friendships, social issues, and everything in between, very much like our own group chat. If y'all do not know, Rachel made history as the first African-American lead in the Bachelor franchise, where she found love and met her hubby, Brian Abasolo, on the show. I hope I'm saying his last name correctly, your last name correctly. And on top of all of that, she's an attorney, a proud member of the Delta Sigma Theta sorority, an ambassador for the College Football Playoff Foundation, and a supporter of Paw Works.

if this isn't a black girl doing shit i do not know what is and without further ado please welcome rachel lindsey to the group chat we're so excited thank you i'm excited to be here thank you so much for having me you stay busy i was like oh oh i have to do the bridge version of your bio but we love to see it because that's what black girls doing shit are all about so we're gonna play a little game a little icebreaker i know you's a married woman so i hope you're down to play this is this is a a clean version for a married woman's version of f kill mary give us a dirty version well because we're black girls texting we're going to do dm save block okay so if you would slide in his dms it's like you're cute but it's like whatever

it's this it's the equivalent of an f okay if you save their number at least for me when i finally save your number i know it's real that means i like you because i'd just be having all types of area codes texting me i don't know who's who and if you're going to block and that is the equivalent of you know they're getting the chop okay correct so these all have a little theme to them because i love a theme i do a weekly trivia so i think i'm rather clever and listeners play along extra points if you can guess the theme of all the men's so first round of dm save block is drake asap rocky and hassan jamil who is that saudi arabian wealthy prince man i know what you're doing you see me wait is that the one rihanna was with correct

brian i can't tell y'all how many people when rihanna and him were together they thought it was brian and i they're like is this y'all i was like that's kind of amazing that is i could see that though okay i oof okay i'm gonna block drake sorry drake drake i'm going to dm hassan is that his name yes and i'm going to save asap interesting choice i know but you know what to each his own to each his own i switched it up these men have all been seen allegedly dated the gorgeous rihanna uh next up dm save block travis scott travis barker tristan thompson oh gosh this is a tough one all right i'm gonna say travis scott i'm gonna dm

uh barker hmm and i'm gonna block tristan thompson that i can support easiest block right there we're all aligned i can guess this theme please tell us chelsea what's what's the theme kardashian lovers kardashian lovers ding ding ding ding ding yes mr barker has allegedly been with uh courtney i'm into that i'm here for that a little bad boy she likes bad boys okay i know you like football so i think you're gonna get this one dm save block mark sanchez eric decker daryl revis girl me googling these people like who are they what do they look like New York Jets correct and they were all Jets at one time so um okay Revis who was it Decker and Sanchez I'm saving Decker absolutely I am

blocking Sanchez absolutely Revis oh I love it I'm on the same page if you're known as for a butt fumble I gotta block you I can't be affiliated with that my name can't be attached to it can we just say at one point I almost got a Mrs. Sanchez like custom jersey and then like everything went to shit and I was so glad that I never got but like the Jets aren't good don't be rude we've we've had our moments where it's not a good look right now like a Cowboys fan I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan right it's few and far between when I go to the bar and I meet cute boys I'm like I'm a Jets fan you know I'm a good loyal woman come on actually a really good line exactly oh my gosh well I'm so glad you played with us that was you know a little we like to play games we like to

break the ice loosen you up before we get into the tea so I am personally a huge fan of The Bachelor but I only started watching because of you and now I'm into like all of it the paradises all the drama but I would love to know like how do you think your role as the first Black lead on the show has changed the franchise if at all you know it's funny because someone sent this the other day where they were like the the day I was announced was like right around Valentine's Day four years ago and then around that same day you get what's happening with Chris Harrison where he stepped aside I didn't put that together so it's crazy how that turned out and I'm saying that because when I decided to say yes four years ago around Valentine's Day I never thought that I would be

where I am right now that's just in life that's including being married and that's also including like what's happening right now in the franchise and just kind of like the role I've played in it when I the reason I ultimately said yes was because I wanted to represent myself as a Black woman to this audience who hadn't seen someone like this in this role and I felt like I could do it well I knew that that's what I wanted to do and then I was hoping that by example that it would open the door for other people to get their opportunity their happy ending um their love story or to showcase just who they are and that didn't happen I really thought just by doing it I'd be the first to open the door and then that was like okay you can see that this can work and everybody else

will follow suit I was shocked that after me it went right back to business as usual when it comes to The Bachelor and it was extremely disappointing and over the years I would be interviewed about something I've always been outspoken I was raised to stand up for myself and be that way so I would constantly speak out about the need for diversity and inclusion and things are staying the same I spoke out at the way they handed handled my finale versus Becca's right after me and how they you know casted me or made me look like an angry black female with certain words that were said to me when I was sitting on stage I've always been outspoken but it was in 2020 when it was like man with everything that's going on I think we all were like what am I what am I attached to that's

not right and I don't want it I don't want to be attached to it anymore so for me it was the franchise and that's why I spoke out and said I don't want to be a part of this anymore you know what's the point this was my purpose my purpose isn't being fulfilled so I don't want this anymore and I was shocked at like the reaction that it had and you know then we saw that they casted Matt James then we've had Tayshia they made an apology I said oh my role I always felt like my role was bigger than me I was more than just a reality tv star I was a first which you don't have a lot of firsts these days so I said I wanted to make sure that I really I really do what what I say I'm going to do and I want to hold true to that even through these years later

but you know even though they took steps and I feel like maybe we got a little complacent because we saw changes we had never seen before as you see with what's happened this month there still has to be change things still need to you know it's not over yet and I think it's a reminder to all of us and especially for me myself is don't get complacent don't think that the work is done just because some changes have been made so I really feel my role is to open the doors for other people and seeing if you've been following everything that's been going on seeing the women from matt james's season come together and put out a statement saying we don't want this we don't stand for this you've never seen anything like this before and i feel like that's what that's it

like i almost feel like you don't you don't need me anymore because you have these women who have come together in unity nobody did that for me during my season i haven't seen none of the seasons thereafter. These women did that on their own. I didn't solicit them to do that at all. Then it had a domino effect from the men from Clarenta season doing the same thing. And I feel like, okay, this was, this was what my role was supposed to be to make other people of color feel comfortable enough to step out and be fearless and stand against injustice. Absolutely. And I really appreciate like you jumping right in because I know it's a hot topic. And I almost want to take Chris and his statements. Like I want him to not be the focus. I want people to just really focus on how

problematic his behavior is and the behavior that it incites around how we treat Black women in conversations from microaggressions to people just outright being aggressive. I'd love to know how you're handling that and I loved that all the women came together and they posted that was super beautiful but I can only imagine kind of like the burden you have to bear and people trying to make you out as this angry black woman when in reality people are saying crazy things to you it's wild you know and I talked a little bit about this on my higher learning podcast but I said a lot of people, there were some people who were disappointed at the way that I handled that interview and they wanted more from me. And I needed to explain why I was the way that I was. And when I talked on

higher learning, I said, because people of color are not given the benefit of the doubt. I have to be damn near perfect to not ruffle any feathers. So I said, I'm going to sit here. I'm going to do my job. I'm going to ask the question. I might poke a little bit because I would do that with anybody who was um the interviewee and and I'm just gonna sit here let him let it being Chris at this point talk and say what he wants to say and you know well I was shocked at the things that were said sorry I was shocked the things that were said were actually said in public and you know it's even with me behaving and there were I want I want to give credit to people who were saying you know like the way you handled yourself the professionalism you know not reacting is great

but it is amazing how many people just take a stroll through my comment section oh we did oh I have are calling me a racist and a bully and um saying I'm hateful and I'm promoting cancel culture never have I said Chris Harrison should be fired never have I said he should be canceled all I've called for is accountability, which he called for himself in the two apologies that he issued thereafter. So I just, I think that this is, sorry, it's never this bad. I think that this is what people really need to see is that if you break down my actions and what I did, and then you see the reaction that people have towards it, that's what people of color go through you're not given the benefit of the doubt you're constantly blamed it must be something you

did it's your fault because how could this poor girl have done anything I get he was a good man how dare you do this no one is looking all this compassion and this grace and these words that are being thrown out that people want for one side it's not being reciprocated to the other side that is something that we are taught at a very young age you know how it is growing up you're taught you got to work twice as hard for half as much that is ingrained in you it's instilled in you so you know for moments like this it's hard it's a heavy burden but I also feel like I've groomed for this I'm made for this and and it's that motivation when I see those comments when I see some of like the illogical things people say honestly all it does is light a fire under

me and motivate motivate me anymore if if people think by talking to me like that that I'm going to run away and hide you don't you you really haven't been paying attention to what I do because if anything I'm just like thanks thanks for the encouragement and the motivation there was a really dope piece um I want to say speak Patrice is her Instagram name and I don't know if you read it um we can send it to you after but she talked about the language around how Chris often would say girl she's a girl she's a girl and that and the terms grace like everything you spoke up and how that's not afforded to black women a week or two ago a nine year old was pepper sprayed by the police a nine year and was a nine-year-old black girl and was

not treated like a girl but when white women white people do things you see the language twist and language is so important in these moments like oh well she was just a young girl but we're not afforded that like we get hyper sexualized and we get uh adultification which we've talked about on the podcast in the past like the minute you are five six seven years old and it's crazy yeah it is crazy i also saw like this tweet and it it sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying honestly and it said i don't think black women in corporate america receive enough credit for not knocking when their colleagues do in fact, but it's so true. And I, you know, when I, when I see moments like that, or I see the reaction that people have, I'm like, I don't

know if they'll ever get it until you, you walk, you know, 10 steps in our shoes. You don't understand how our identity is almost predetermined or our personality before we even walk in the door you know you assume exactly how we're going to be and the way that we are because as i keep saying we aren't given the benefit of the doubt um it's just amazing to me and i guess i shouldn't be that surprised because if our country is split down the middle then why wouldn't bachelor nation be split down the middle as well it is truly half and half with the support that I'm getting versus the people you know trying to you know the things that they're accusing me of they are literally being themselves when if you roll the tape and if you actually check facts I really didn't do

anything here but my job yo the man hung himself out to dry he was just talking he just went and it's so interesting and maybe i'm reaching but i'm kind of looking at this this instance is like a metaphor for a lot of these larger conversations we have about change and race in this country like i think a lot of this backlash that some of these bachelor viewers are having is because they're so protective of this show and how it's how it's operated for so long and how it's sort of upheld whiteness and it's like why is this getting ruffled we want what we've always known chris harrison's not going to be the host anymore i don't like this i don't like change so then people are just getting pissed off like and this is the same type of anger we see in lots of other

spaces in our society where people are pissed that that their comfort that the thing that they've always known and they've always come to can't continue on because it's problematic because it's not right yeah speaking of which if offered the position would you be the new host of the bachelor honestly I can't even I can't even go there because one Chris has only said that he's stepping aside and and to my knowledge that's all that I know is that he's not doing the finale it's hard for me to even think about being the host because a lot of things in a lot of ways bachelor nation has changed my life in the best way possible but at the same time it's really toxic and it's really really tough and i don't know if i want to subject myself to that um people

are already i don't know if i want to play into the the whole line of thinking that people think i did this to get chris harrison's job and it's so it's so wild when i went to do the bachelor i never thought i was going to be the bachelorette because it hadn't been done like this shit had never been done before why would i said i'm gonna be the first you know go in thinking like that yeah I went to go have an interview with a person to recap last night's episode and I thought you know what today's the day I'm gonna try to take your job what how would I even think and think like that but that's the kind of stuff that people say about me so for me you know I I really don't know I don't know if that's something that's for me honestly I could see them not having one at all

like should Chris decide to say I don't want to do this at all or I'm gonna leave my time is up I could see them not doing it I mean pre-quarantine barely in the show anyway I think that they could do narration bring in a past contestant but for me I don't know and because it's so 50 50 on how people feel about me I don't even really think they would offer it I just don't know I just don't think that's for me I think you'd be a great host me too yeah I don't and then could I talk like this I don't want to be muzzled at the same time freedom to say you know what how I feel and to you know demand change and speak out I couldn't do that the same way if I was the host but then you know on the flip side if I was then I could

also be I'd be a person in power who could say hey we need to do this hey we need to do this because that's what I keep preaching more than anything more than having a host replacement it's you got to have somebody in power who's a person who's a person of color who gets it who understands it because as we're seeing time and time again even with the lead you're still not getting it because we're seeing things happen that shouldn't right with that um a lot of folks are assuming that matt chooses a white partner um which i think one of you guys sent an article that he's kind of like upset by that i'm not gonna lie i kind of assumed it too nothing wrong with it i started off it started off with him like pre-cursing the whole event like i don't want

people to pressure me into picking someone of a certain rate like he set himself up for that for that i think he even just said a certain person he didn't even like really say it yeah i mean i was outspoken about that about chris a black man was explaining to a white man what it meant to be black wrong and then people said rachel should have been in it wrong you can't keep having me in to have the black talks it just should have been matt james in an itm where you know like the where he's talking to a producer just talking about what this moment means to him and the significance of it not explaining to crit it just it was it's it set Matt up for failure I told Matt the same thing and I and I'm going to ask you guys a question because a lot of people do assume that

they think they know what Matt's going to do and I'm curious do you think that because of what other leads of color myself included have done because I didn't choose a black man Tayshia didn't choose a black man therefore matt james isn't going to choose a black woman you're over here segwaying into our next question but um i'm not gonna lie it wasn't necessarily because of what um i've seen in the past i think it oh this is gonna sound we know that he is he gives off a little bit of like a broey vibe so i kind of associated that with that being what he's comfortable with but then at the same time I was like well I can't put that on him like let's see what happens but these types of things are so I feel for you I feel for Matt because at the end of the day

you're under a magnifying glass no matter what you do if he picks a black girl oh he just picked her because he had to be with a black girl if he picks a white girl oh of course if he picks someone who's biracial oh he's just caught you know like what what's a man to do it's also so weird when you're black it's like you speak for everyone black and i'm like matt james is a particular type of person like not every black man is relating to magic like we we talk about this all all the time like blackness is not one thing and so like this show is like he is the black bachelor like let's see what he's gonna do he's he's just matt james actually i think that i was just i think that was something that was really powerful or potentially powerful about

what he was trying to communicate in that moment is that he wanted the freedom to be Matt James to pick whoever he wanted to pick but definitely the way it all came out left a bad taste in my mouth and I can't lie like there was this one moment and I watched the show off and on I think the girl's name is is her name Chelsea the one with the short haircut yeah she came out and said something like I want to make history with you like you're making history as a first black bachelor maybe we can make history together and I was like damn I think that she said that maybe I'm putting that maybe I think so and I was like damn that could be like very historic like how amazing could it be to witness like a black couple come out of this show iconic guys I can solve this

problem and Matt can just date me and then there's no there's no issue you know maybe he didn't find love on the show and he was like oh I was listening to the podcast the single girl Sade listen I'm just putting it out there into the universe manifestation maybe Rachel can help I can I can put in a word, you know, I will see. We'll see what goes down this season. But maybe I could say something. You know, I on one hand, I will say as black women, we always know when they're not into us. Okay. Now, correct. There is no science behind it. There's I can't point you to a specific thing, but we know it's within us. We know. So I understand what you're feeling when you watch Matt, because we know when they're not necessarily for us. On the other hand, I'm very defensive over Matt. Matt and I are not the same. And maybe that's something that really bothers me, too, just because Matt, Tasha and I are not alike. The only thing we have in common is that we were all on the same show and we're of color, truly.

And I hate getting people think Tasha's like me or I'm like Tasha or Matt or vice versa, because we're all very, very different. But what I do feel for Matt is that people met you for the first time this way. So for me, you met me on Nick's season. He's white. So you think I like white men. Then you see me go through my season and I pick Brian. So you think I like, I mean, Brian's Latin, but he looks white. So, you know, you think I like white men.

And I think that I used to get so defensive about that because if you knew me before, I never had really dated outside of my race and so you fight you find yourself constantly trying to prove that like oh this I'm more than just what you're seeing on tv but nobody wants to give you that and so I think we see a lot of Matt doing that as well like he constantly feels like almost like I got a black friend wait I know but I dated these black women because nobody wants to give him the bit of right feel for him on that which is why um you know I'm very I'm protective over him I also feel like there's another sensitivity right so like when a black woman goes with a white guy it might be like okay yes sis like do your thing but when a black guy goes with a white woman it's

like you couldn't find a black girl like it's it's just like an extra level of definitely I don't know what it is but I'll tell you why black women aren't adored we're not appreciated the social caste system in this country we're at the bottom so when a white man who's at the top chooses a black woman people are like go ahead sis good for you you know he chose you I think that's kind of how people look at it versus when you see a black man go after a different race you think they're trying to have their trophy or you know like they feel like they won that at least that used to be the sentiment that I would get from my black male friends who did date outside of their race you know it was like a prize almost I'm not saying everyone's like that but right

it's complicated I also want to just like really quickly go back to the conversation we were having about Chris earlier because Demario Jackson recently said like no one really had his back when his whole situation was happening do you think culturally like the tide has changed like now people are more quote-unquote woke and willing to speak up about things Demario is different I you know I Demario may be right Demario I I don't know all the details of what went down with that I do remember him being very critical of Chris like he was when no one else was he was but at the same time he was so critical of me in the media and would tell lies about me that for me I was very dismissive on what he had to say um I do think I think people

feel more um empowered to speak out now because they have the ear and the eye of everyone whereas before you we were people have been saying these things just nobody was paying attention now that they are you feel a little bit more protected like you can and maybe you won't um maybe suffer the same fate as you would have when people were looking at things through the lens of 2018 come on now because if i hear woke again i might actually scratch my eyes out we should almost play like the dictionary game instead of dm blocks they were like black people don't even say that oh my god it was so cringe i was like counting how many times he said it and i was like oh my gosh on a lighter note we would just love to know what you've learned through this whole

journey is there any advice you would like to share with our listener maybe someone who's had their back against the wall people coming for them like how you stay positive and see the light at the end of the tunnel I loved your very unbothered Instagram post by the way I was like yes please look away um you know for me for how I do stay positive it's like a small circle of people I've trust who knew me before all of this some new friends but who get me who don't judge me who check me who are there from to listen to me understand me um family and friends that really helps brian helps tremendously and meditation which is what you saw me doing meditating like that's real that's how i center myself that's how i refocus i really i did it before but i really

got into it during quarantine um and that always keeps me grounded and helps me get back to what it is that i'm trying to do as far as what i've learned that's a great question i mean i've always i've always been outspoken but i haven't always been fearless and when i decided to do the bachelorette that was me kind of stepping outside of my box i always did what i was supposed to do i was like i'm gonna go to this school i'm gonna major in this i'm gonna go to law school and i'm gonna be a lawyer and i'm gonna work to being a partner and I stayed on that track but I didn't really feel fulfilled in my career and I was too scared you know tell my dad or someone else hey I want to do something different this doesn't really

fulfill me so I just stayed along doing what I was told kind of living the life someone else someone else wanted me to live and when I decided to say yes to the bachelor that was me stepping out of that box that was me freeing myself and I never looked back and I always go back to that moment when I said no at first to the bachelor and then I ended up saying yes and I go back to my why of why I said yes and that and never looking back since and and continuing to not act out of fear has taken me to places that I never thought that I would go things that I never thought that I would have an impact that I never thought that I would be able to make and that is because i have not operated from fear and i look back at what i've accomplished between 2016 to now

and i never would have done it if i was operating from a place of fear so i guess what to answer your question what i've learned is you know like just to to act on to to do what i can't remember who said this to me if i read it or whatever but it's like you pose the question what would you do if you weren't scared like what would you do if you had all the money in the world I feel like that's what I'm doing I'm not acting in a place of what can happen and part of it is just because I can't help myself right I don't know how to be anything but black and so when people are like how do you speak out it's because I'm black I'm not I'm not an I had someone in bachelor nation asked me I won't name them I will ask me are you what should I call you an activist

no I'm not an activist I'm black and I cannot help and watch help but see what's happening and not want to speak out against it and it's because I've put that fear behind me sometimes I do get scared but then I go back to that place in 2016 sitting in my office of kind of at a crossroads of okay I said no but what if I did this and what if I had stayed in this place. So that's really what I've learned throughout all of this. Oh my God. That's so powerful. Thank you for that. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I've always been a fan from afar, but you really are amazing and very, very grateful because you're doing the work and, you know, I think you have the eyes and the audience of the people who need to hear. So I am just sending

positive vibes your way keep those haters blocked and blessed and the people who are open to learning should definitely tune in to hear what you have to say thank you so much wait a second is it bad I don't like to block people because I want people to see how nasty people are oh well I'm here for it ghost them not don't block them ghost them ghost them yeah I'm like look at just look and see what hate looks like what you're me no no no it's not common but you don't turn those comments off i let them live give them strength give them the rope let them hang themselves seriously oh lord well thank you so much for joining us we are so so happy that we were able to have you and have this open discourse it's was amazing thank you guys so much for having me and love what you're

doing thank you is there any any sneak peeks any any you we we know you said you don't know about being the host but what else you have up your sleeve well let's just say there's a there's some things that i haven't you know i i i'm in your ear in a podcast i'm on your tv screen um with extra ghosted um but maybe you know maybe you'll be reading something okay we love to see it i'm over here like okay you can hear you can watch we are we are thinking about starting a book club so let us know oh yeah that'd be great yes you're right chelsea oh my gosh well i told you what it was by you saying the club i mean said reading something two and two together yes i get you know like have my own column or

something I just gave it away when she did the book a little sex in the city you can do it all we love to see it keep keep doing what you're doing and you deserve all your flowers and thank you for stepping into the group chat and spilling a little tea at that yes and thanks for helping Sade and Matt James and their love story thank you for bringing it back thank you for bringing it back chelsea hashtag black love hashtag matt what's good bye or what would you do this week it's short and sweet um this is anonymous well it's a dm but i won't say her handle um but she says hey ladies love the show and congrats on all your accomplishments i'm so impressed with how you all have nine to five jobs but are also following your passions

of being podcasters i have a great job and i love my team but i really want to pursue my dream of being a photographer the challenge is juggling building my portfolio while working how did you guys get started and stay committed any advice is much appreciated keep killing it thank you darling um anybody want to tackle this just do it like nike that's all i got just do it just do it not like Nike you got to use your weekends even like as a writer I have no days off you just got to be ready to have no days off and find every single moment that you can to to squeeze in the other work and if your goal is to like leave your full-time job eventually and be a full-time photographer then also put in the work um like on networking and making contacts finding gigs and

putting yourself in a position to be able to walk away and have like contacts and contracts to rely on? Contacts and contracts. My advice is totally different. You can do both. Just don't really do your day job. I feel like people do way too much work at work. It's unnecessary. There are a lot of people of a different hue out here doing the bare minimum and getting praise. and you don't need to do all of that nobody said you have to be twice as good are they gonna fire you I doubt it so just go in there clickety clack and then be like I gotta go and go take your pictures you have a lot of doctor's appointments coming up you do you don't know it yet but you do you have um a lot you don't feel well it's a pandemic you you need breaks for your mental

help. And in all those breaks, go take photos, go do you and a clock in at nine and leave at four 30. Good luck, sis. That's good advice too, actually. Clocking at nine 30. All right. That was another episode of Black Girls Texting. Charles Pinky, Glenn Pogue, where can the people find us? What should they be doing? follow us on instagram at black girls texting email us at hello at black girls texting our individual handles are chelsea pinky that's me bed style brat that's glenny and shawty are we sharing yours today no it's okay you can find me if you can spell it okay good luck bye thanks again for listening to black girls texting make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever

you listen and subscribe so you never miss an episode oh and don't forget to text every group chat you're in and tell them to check us out follow your girls at black girls texting and we'll see you next week bye Bye.