LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: A Deplorable Proust Questionnaire

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

Keltie got a deal on a bunch of magazine subscriptions and inspiration struck: The Proust Questionnaire! Happiness, fears, what we deplore in ourselves and others, there’s so much to learn thanks to Keltie’s magazine bargain bundle!   Shout out to these great sponsors! Lola – For 30% off your first month’s subscription, visit mylola.com and enter ladygang when you subscribe. Hubble Contacts – Get 30 contacts for just one dollar at hubblecontacts.com.   FOCL – Go to focl.com and use code LADYGANG for 15% off your first order.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

it's time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek let's make this quick hello hello hello welcome to lady and quickie i am becca here with jack and kelty i'm very excited about today's show you are you want to jump right in kelty well no what i was gonna say is that i have done something that i haven't done in many years which is i resubscribed to all my favorite magazines oh so you're physically getting magazines in the mail it's so fun yeah i was paperless for a long time and i was like i'm not gonna do that and it's like a waste of money and i'm gonna cut back and then i realized that the magazines are so desperate for subscribers

that you're really helping out the small for like fifty dollars i got five magazine subscriptors I subscribed to Harper's, Vogue, InStyle, and Elle for $50. For the whole year? For the whole year. And I got a free tote bag at each one. Oh, everybody needs an extra tote bag. Everyone does. But the reason that I wanted to resubscribe is that I've been feeling very stagnant, the right word?

Yeah. Uninspired? Uninspired in my creativity for both jobs. and i think in my mind that sometimes the online writers of the world um the culture of that is like a lot of young people and you can kind of in a way throw up anything and i don't want to yeah i don't want to discount the work that they're doing but it's a lot of just copying other things from other sites and it's some of them are sloppy and whatever and i feel like a magazine they still do really take the time to do a beautiful layout and think of really cool

headers be a lot more thoughtful it yeah well and it's not they're not trying to grab somebody with clickbait right it's like it has to be like something you know yeah so I decided to get all these magazines and I'm gonna have them monthly and now I can look through and get I and get ideas and also ideas for like fashion and I don't know so I'm very excited about it And one of the things that I saw was in, I can't even remember, I don't even know what magazine this was. It's a Tom Ford interview. It looks like Harper's. Yeah, I think it's Harper's.

It was a Tom Ford interview, and they do, like, the Prowse questionnaire. Right. So I ripped it out, and I was like, you know what we should do on Lady Gang? The Prowse questionnaire. Ooh. So I'm excited. I didn't prep answers, and Jack did. I did.

You did? Yeah. Okay. So I sent it to the ladies, and because a lot of times when I do these things, their answer is like, you need to think about this and i was like no no no new year new me you're giving you time to think about it i didn't do it now i did do it and now you're gonna have to think about it but jack i normally am the one that doesn't mind doing off the cuff yeah jack has some time to think about it yeah so we're gonna go through this and i think that this is a questionnaire allegedly that's

quite famous that like a lot of people have done and the my favorite murder girls might have done it in their book it's like bonus episode or something i haven't read it um anyway so here we go. Proust questionnaire. What is your idea of perfect happiness? So I had to think about that one. And I think in general, my idea of happiness is freedom. Oh, so whether that be financial freedom, like physical freedom, emotional freedom, just any idea of freedom. Wow. wow that's really deep um i would say mine is contentment so the ability to feel it is impossible which is why we're never going to be happy no no um contentment with like every aspect of my life like not necessarily on a high high or a low low just feeling like really good because

i do find in like all those chapter or in those little like parts of my areas of my life where i'm feeling content is when i'm the happiest oh i love that yeah for me i think my perfect happiness involves nature i cannot calm down when i'm in the real world at all right there's just too much stimulation and my brain is always like creating and making lists on my head when i'm in nature and i'm away from all of that whether it be like hiking in the redwoods or like even hiking on a saturday or going on one of these trips and being like in the middle of nowhere that's when i feel the most in tune with my real self and the most happy this isn't a joke question but is that like adhd probably your inability to sort of like but i feel like that's how just us as a

society is to become i think kelty's more sensitive to um stimulation than we are yeah like if there's a lot going on like you need to be like closed off from everything like in the middle of nowhere to actually be able to focus there's a part of me that thinks there's something weird and i've thought this many times i've never been tested for it but i'm very super super highly sensitive to any noise that's so like chris will be um like cooking and he'll have the hockey game on and like i like to watch hockey and i think it's fine but if it's not the main focus i just hear the guy being like like it's like really hard for me or if you're on a plane and the person next to you is chewing it's like i have to have headphones like any kind of extra music when

i'm at the spa and if the music is like weird it's like like i just i'm very sensitive to too many conversations going on anyway like when we wanted to wind down in the middle of the day the funniest story exactly when kelty and i were sharing uh a hotel room so i'm like okay wind down let's just put on i don't know judge judy or something you know mindless in the background And Kelty's like, no, I need silence. I'm like, we're just going to sit in bed next to each other in silence for an hour? What the hell? Yeah.

And I did. And you were a good friend. And I felt very uncomfortable. Kelty does like silence. Yeah. I bet it is because you have something where you get distracted. It's overstimulation. Yeah.

Absolutely. It's really hard for me. Like even in the office, like Chelsea and Alex. Alex doesn't like, do you like music? You do. Okay. Alex and Chelsea like to play music during the day. And when I'm trying to like work, sometimes it's good because Chelsea's good playlists

that are like kind of Bon Iver or whatever. So it's kind of like, what are you saying? I don't know what you're singing about or whatever. He doesn't know either. Oh my God. Have you ever listened to Bon Iver or looked at Bon Iver's lyrics? Oh yeah. No.

They make no sense. One of them was a song I walked down the aisle to and we have it printed and framed like in our house, the album. Oh my God. And it's like, this could be devil's music or it could be the most romantic song ever. We've never been able to figure out. So I was like, I kind of like it. Wait, how about...

Have I talked about when I first smoked weed one of the first times and then I listened to this Bon Iver song and I rewrote the lyrics? Yes, actually, yes. To what I thought that they would be. They're so good. I'm like, you can have it for free because your lyrics make no fucking sense. You can do that to our wedding song. Yes, can I? Oh, my God.

She is grace. She is beautiful. Oh, my God. I totally will. Great. All right. Next question. What is your greatest fear?

My greatest fear? I'm not afraid. So I don't know if this is like a fear thing. Like if you're afraid of snakes. Well, yeah. I mean, I have two answers like that, too. Yes. Snakes is definitely number one.

It is? Of things I'm afraid of. Oh. Yes. My greatest fear, like, my general greatest fear is everybody that I know dying. And that is what I freak out about when I smoke weed at night. Yeah. Yeah.

Is my existential crisis. My stupid fear is feet. Oh, my God. You're such an idiot. My, like, snakes are my weird fear. Oh, my God. Phobia. um and uh my biggest like life is would be regret like I fear regretting not doing something or

seeing something or whatever my greatest that's really good thank you my greatest fear is um rides oh my god rides do you not do any rides I have only been on two rides in my whole well okay I've been on three rides this is insane a baby roller coaster didn't you go on the teacups at disneyland that's not the kind of ride i'm talking about a roller coaster you just opened something up that like we're going to take you to universal studios why there's no right like real rides there yes there are universal studios yes like roller coasters yeah there's like the simpsons ride that's not a real ride well what rides are you afraid i'm thinking about like a loop-de-loop Like a Six Flags loop-de-loop or like Superman.

I went to Six Flags and I had to do an interview there. And I was like, it's so loud here. Oh, it is loud. I hate a ride. I hate. So I've been on a baby roller coaster. There's a thing in Edmonton at the West Edmonton Mall called the Drop of Doom. And in like fifth grade, I wanted to be cool.

So I went on it. And essentially it like takes you to the top and then slowly puts you and then sits you at the top for like way longer than they should. And then it just, you go down. That's like the Tower of Terror. That's like my dream. so I did that I survived fine

and then I went on the Star Wars Galaxy's Edge just recently at Disneyland and it was so traumatizing

that I cried after and it's not even a roller coaster you don't go upside down you just like you're in this car with a seatbelt on like there's not even

a harness on you and you just kind of like sometimes you go backwards and it lifts you up and down oh it's like the Harry Potter it's like the California Dreaming or whatever that ride is

where it just sits you there and it's like kind of it just moves you When you see a screen But there's one section Where they have a film In front of you And it's like

You're dropping out of the sky Like you're coming from space Onto a planet Can we go do a ride with you And it was I want to do Like Montezuma's Revenge At Knott's Berry Farm

That's like Terrorizing She would have a stroke I wouldn't be able to make it I could not be more opposite On my 30th birthday Christina took me To Disneyland

I think I've talked about this before With John Stamos John Stamos And they were like Oh we're gonna go on What's it called The space one Space Mountain

Space Mountain, that is your nightmare. Space Mountain as a kid. They're like, we're going to do Space Mountain. And I was like, oh, well, I don't like roller coasters or rides. Like, what is it? And they're like, no, it's kind of like, this is what they said to me. It's like a small world, but it's space. No, it's not.

That's what they told me. Christina, you're a liar. No, Space Mountain's a legit roller coaster. And so I went on it, and I, that's my fourth ride I've been on. I can't even, I still think about Space Mountain because I also read an article about Space Mountain that when they turn the lights on. you're very close to how small it is and you can get decapitated well that's my biggest fear is being there being and getting decapitated every time i'm on that thing even though i love it i'm like i could get decapitated one little screw could come loose yeah out i just remember when

i was a kid number one when i was a kid i was very small and i loved roller coasters so much that my mom used to stuff my shoes with toilet paper so i'd be tall they love you i love you so much i remember going on space mountain i always thought that my mom was going to fall out of it Because it is kind of scary as a kid. It's scary as an adult. I did it recently. I was like, oh my God. But it's scary as an adult because you probably know how Ricky is.

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check out figs head to where figs.com and use code figs ca for 15 off your first order that's where figs.com code figs ca biggest fear all right when we come back who do we admire the lady gang all right we're back next question which living person do you most admire who's yours um i had my mom oh well i don't really honestly i don't really admire like any celebrities or anything like i don't admire anyone but myself well i admire my mom and this is why because my mom was a stay-at-home mom she was like a housewife but she still wore the pants in her relationship with my dad and i think she unintentionally kind of taught me how to be i guess like kind of a feminist and an independent strong woman not by like sitting me down being

like you need to do this and this and that but just because how she lived her life with my dad and i've just kind of realized that recently and i've taken that into my relationship that i have now i've never done it in the past but how to just live my life as a strong woman wow i do you have yours who's yours uh i don't have a good one but i want to do celebrities so i'm gonna say paula abdul are you kidding me i love paula abdul because no dream was too big for paula she was a lowly lakers dancer like i was a knicks dancer they're not lowly they work hard no i know they work hard but it's a crappy job and there's been hundreds of nba dancers through the years that have not gone on to superstardom and i love that she in her career with pop she

leaned into what she was good at she was tap dancing the videos and like really dancing and it was amazing and then she won an american idol and people were really hard on her like at first she was a sweetheart and then everyone else was like are you addicted to medication like they were really mean to her and she she never like really let it get her down i it may be because she was on pills i don't know like cool but they never let her she never got down and she just kept being paula she kept wearing her ridiculous outfits doing her like motivational instagrams and like living her best life she was the best part of american idol they have tried to recreate the paula randy you know but they never could paula is just so special and i just i think i

just love her resilience in her career okay i do really like her as a um a role model for you i do too i think it really makes sense it's so on brand okay mine is not like who i most admire but i do have a recent coming around to a person that i very much admire now that i used to think was all an act so kristin bell is someone who was very triggering for me in the beginning because a lot of the time you see a lot of these starlets come out and they do a lot of good out in the world for attention and publicity right like they're and and it's like you can kind of sniff it out and so now which is so crappy because i'm like who cares what the intention is they are doing something good and they're using their fame right platform for a good thing so like that's my stupid

hang up yeah so um but it's also there's there's celebrities out there who i've seen be very cruel to other humans and yet they're out in the world preaching kindness so they don't walk the walk so that is why it is a little triggering and they get all this well and it's self-serving it's self-serving and they get a lot of credit for being like incredible people and then you find out that they're dicks like one very famous talk show host gets a lot of credit for being very kind And I hear from people who work with her that she's the opposite of crime. Nightmare, yeah. Okay, so Kristen Bell is someone who, like, you know, seemingly has it all.

And she probably is closest person on the planet to having it all. Yeah. And so, like, you'd want to be a little bit of a hater when you start seeing her do all the good in the world and the posting of all the things and the raising monies and the crowdfunding and the blah, blah, blah, blah. She was the one that got the paparazzi to not take children. The children, right? She was the one that. Of her own kids?

yeah television shows of all kids no longer they cover won't cover like we will not put video or pictures of someone's children up unless they take them to a red carpet so if they take their kid to the frozen premiere and it's like channing tatum and his daughter right then you can say he came out and here's the video whatever but if is it a law it's not a law but it was like an agreement she really fought for she went around to all the shows and she was like it's like really hard on my children that you keep following us when we're trying to go to the grocery store. It's dangerous. Yeah, it is dangerous. And a lot of

celebrities don't want their kids' faces shown and stuff. Your kids could get kidnapped so much easier. People are there if they are recognizable. So she was like the head of that. She changed it for everyone. Then like the paparazzi aren't as motivated to get pictures of your kid because they know they can't sell them to as many outlets. They're not going to make money off it.

They're worthless. That's so cool. It's cool. So anyways, I just recently, I think like, I don't know what it was that really like made me turn it around but i really it's probably because it's a relentless fight that she's been doing it's not like to promote a movie it's not to promote herself it's really like a very consistent thing and if you go on her instagram it's like she really doesn't care about protecting her brand and like she'll post a picture in an ugly cardigan with no makeup on to support like dress for success right right right you know what i mean

where like most celebrities be like i am not doing that i'm gonna get i need full glam and i need to blah, blah, blah. Not that the cardigan's ugly, but like, it's certainly not something she's actually wearing, but it's like, or maybe she is, who knows? But I do admire it. I think that she's somebody who is grateful for the opportunity she's been given and she's doing a lot of really good, good stuff with it. I like that. And I used to talk smack, so I'm sorry. There you go. I really like that kid thing. That's like such a cool thing that is probably very dangerous for a lot of celebrities yeah and i mean it's like the the issue was of course is that for television especially the thing that rates the highest is celebrities their children and weddings yeah you

know so it really was something where these photographers were making a ton of money yeah all right last thing before we go what is the trait i love this one what's the trait you most deplore in yourself oh my god i think i just said it judging judgmental um i'm really judgmental too yeah everybody is it's so hard it's also like comes from insecurity i think like the more um social media like i actually feel like i was a pretty secure human and woman up until a moving to LA that took me down a bunch of notches from New York and being put on a TV show and on red carpets and being judged for like the way that you look and what weight you are. There's literally websites that are like, how much does each celebrity weigh?

Like that's disgusting. Um, so like, I, I think I've become more insecure. And then with the social media aspect of it, I've become more judgmental because when you're insecure, it feels better to judge someone else that seemingly has a better situation than you do. right and you're only seeing like a point point point zero one percent i haven't i we talked about my new rule that i and i started to break last night with jack yeah such a bummer it's hard not to judge people on social media i'm not gonna judge anybody that i actually haven't met in person and had an and even if i've had an exchange it has to be like i have to know them more you need to know before i talk shit about you before judging i need to really i have to know that you

up for real yeah um i think the quality that i hate myself is deplore is the word isn't deplore a yes but use the word of the proust question oh deplore myself um probably my like in a work situation my scatterbrainedness um i'm very bad at staying on top of things and i do things at the very last minute um and then also i'm really hard on myself like i will beat myself up over the dumbest shit for five years like what i don't think i've seen you do this because it's all in here but i want an example of like times that you like when you're hard on yourself um there was like okay there was one time on lady gang tv that i don't even that whole time doesn't count because we all hated ourselves I know but there's just this is just

one situation that I'm thinking of kidding that I Kelty and I had like a little tiff that lasted for five seconds I don't even remember that Kelty forgot about that night and I beat myself up for it for months yeah because I felt so embarrassed and Kelty didn't even remember it we're trying to start a segment and everybody was like talking and it was the segment that I kind of led and i tried to start getting people together and you're like you said you're like jack why can't you command a room or something and i'm like oh i did oh yeah i remember that now yeah and then i beat myself up over it for i well then i cried that day and then i beat myself up over it for like a month because i felt so bad this is also part of not having siblings what like yeah because

no i think it's hard for you actually harbors those interactions i think hollywood for an only child is really extra hard. And for a person that doesn't want to be in Hollywood. Yeah, yeah. When you're not even striving. When I got shoved into it and I didn't want to be there. Yeah. Both of those things. It's so true. Well, I'm really sorry, Jack. And you can command a room.

I don't want to. I know. I'm like, this is my nightmare. I don't want to command a room. I don't want to be the center of attention. The thing that I deplore in myself, I have so many. Like, the list is so long. We could do an entire episode on that. But I'm going to just I hate about myself I'm just gonna why didn't we write why wasn't that the title of the title of

this oh god incredible can the title of this episode be called deplorable yeah um is my lack of patience I have no patience we know yeah she's literally looking at us right now with daggers because she wants this to end I I do I need to point out a time that somebody had emailed us i know about something every time and or and it was something that i had to do and kelty had texted me eight minutes after this to the dot eight minutes after we got the email she's like jack have you read the email yet have you responded but it's been eight minutes but let me say because of the scatterbrainedness she's preparing for the inevitable which is 80 days could go by and you but at least so it's like what do you do in that i thought it's true i think a

better way is the delivery yeah so it's like hey jack i just want to flagging for you or bumping whatever whatever it is like hey flagging this for you because i know you don't check your email but yes i do not on my time just sometimes i forget to respond i always check it oh that's yeah it's dark dark yeah in everything i do though it's like i like harassed chris to propose to me because i couldn't god i couldn't be chill i remember like you should have put a bing on it I mean, I remember at our wedding, it was like very similar to you, Becca. It was like 10 o'clock and I was like, all right, this has got to be over. I'm like, mom, I'm calling you an Uber.

Like, why? Oh my God. It doesn't have to be over. You kicked your mom out of your own wedding? I was like, everyone needs to start going home. Oh my God. Because I wanted it to be over because I was like on to the next thing. I'm like, oh, now I'm thinking about my flight tomorrow, my honeymoon.

Like I just, like I can never just calm the hell down. So I'm trying to get better at that, but it is very annoying. And I've been like this my whole life. Like, I remember one of my high school boyfriends. I was like, we should be boyfriend and girlfriend. He was like, just be patient. Just be patient. Oh, my God.

I don't really like you. Then he wrote me. I know. Then he wrote me out the lyrics to I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith. Oh, my God. Left it in my locker. Who left it in my locker? Aerosmith, huh?

Do you think that subliminally he was like, she looks like Stephen Taylor? My dear Stephen, I don't want to close my eyes. All right. On that note, we have so much more Prowse. We're going to do this again. Yeah, this is fun. I like it. Me too.

You're so great. Not here for a long time. We're here for a good time. Thanks for listening, and make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcasts. We have new episodes of Lady Gang every Tuesday and Thursday. Follow us on social media at TheLadyGang. Follow us personally at Kelty, most importantly, at Becca, and at Jack Vanek. The Lady Gang Network is produced by Will Sterling, Steve Delamater, Kirsten Woodward, and Elizabeth Baquette.

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