LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: A New Year Wish to the Gang

Episode Date: January 2, 2020

It's officially 2020 and we're singing our favorite New Year's sea shanty, Old Man's Eye! But most importantly, things we hope our girls get in this new year! Shout out to this episode's sponsors! Zola – Sign up at zola.com/ladygang and use code PAPER30 to get 30% off your invites and paper order. Third Love – Get 15% off your first order at thirdlove.com/ladygang .    Stamps.com – Get a 4 week trial and digital scale plus free shipping by clicking on the microphone at stamps.com and entering code LADYGANG.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

it's time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek let's make this quick hello hello hello and welcome to the lady gang quickie i'm becca here with jack and kelty happy new year to you happy i knew i couldn't jump in after like i was about to be like happy new year and then she was you can't jumped right she i can't that's her cue no i can't believe she even allows you to do the intro i can't either like that i can i can't i love it but you only let her talk for five seconds before now it's your show i know i just want to say this what is your favorite new year's song is it tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999 versus old man's eye

what's old man's eye what's that how does afternoon i don't think that's the lyric If I'm thinking what you're thinking, I don't think it's an old man's eye. Isn't it an old man's eye? From Love Actually? Yeah. It's not saying... That's not old man's eye. What is it called?

Doesn't he say an old man's eye? Oh, my God. This is going to be like the meme of when somebody's like, when people on a podcast are thinking of trivia and I'm standing there screaming it at home. Is it old man's eye? Old enzyme? Or enzyme? Like stomach enzyme?

Old man's eye. Old man's eye. Old man's eye. old man's eye what is the old man's new year's there's no way that a song is called old man's eye just comes up with an old man's eye on google images no old oh auld lang syne no yeah that sounds wait wait a second let me see old man's let's see if this is it's out lane is this out lane sign this is it old man it's called old ling sign okay what does that mean i don't know it's

close enough it's a scottish poem great old man's eye is not that's the name of this podcast you just thought that that was the new year's song she's like what's your favorite new year's song you're so fucking crazy that is so funny i need to get in your brain you guys i thought i've always thought it was old man's there's they're like it's supposed to be a new year like refreshing like a new eye there's nothing like not like a young man's eye like a baby eye that hasn't even focused oh my god like a fetus eye it's like an old man's eye it's like cataracts the way you commit to things is just so special here's the thing though she does in a way where she's very believable

i know i have to really well you know that's another telltale sign of a psychopath it's somebody that believes her own lies but she didn't know she was lying she's very mistaken I just literally thought it was Old Man's Eye. I'm sorry that I've always been alone without friends on New Year's. Oh, my God. Listening to Old Man's Eye. It just got so dark. Oh, it just got so dark.

Okay, well. So Prince then. So Prince, yeah, 1999. I can't think of a single other New Year's song. I don't listen. Happy New Year to you. Actually, that's not true. That's Merry Christmas.

No, it's Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday. Yes, idiots. Old Man's Eye to you. What did you guys do for New Year's Eve? I can't see shit because my eye is old. I was on a boat. Oh, no.

I'm on a boat in the Seychelles. Shouldn't you still be on a boat right now? I'm on a boat in the Seychelles, and I hope you're enjoying my Instagrams and my cute body. Work so hard for it. I think I might mute you. I probably already did by this point. Did you guys mute me? By this point in the Seychelles.

I have accidentally muted Becca before, so don't put it past me. No, you blocked me. I accidentally blocked you. But one of my favorite pastimes is our ramblings on the Instagram. What do you mean our ramblings? It's just a special place where we communicate. What? Like us to each other?

Yeah. Like when you post something and I'm like, Jack, why are you wearing a full shirt? Oh, yeah. Like you mean trolling each other. You really troll us on Instagram. I troll y'all. Oh, my God. I take my old man's eye and I troll you.

I only recently started trolling. It's fun. Yeah. Because unlike me, Kelsey responds to every message. So you can really get her attention that way. The trolling is great. Sometimes I get her easier on Instagram than in text. Yeah.

I can reach you quicker. I stopped replying to everyone. On Instagram? I would hope so. Now you just let the comments build on their own. I just let them build on their own. You don't supplement. You know what I think a real pussy move is?

What? I don't think we're supposed to say that anymore. You know what a real scrotum move is? Tell me. I think that when people disable comments Nope I'm not Either you disable every comment on Instagram

You're just a person that doesn't like comments You mean specific photos What about when it's like the limited comments That's like Julia Roberts She only accepts comments from her friends Oh that's kind of cool I want to tell you Julia I'm so mad at you But usually people limited comment things that are like

Controversial and they've gotten a lot of shit for Yeah or disable the comments I'm like, if I'm going to comment on how beautiful your dress is on a Monday, I better be able to tell you you're full of shit on a Tuesday. Wow. Yeah. I think it's lame. Yeah.

Recently, a celebrity did this. Was it? What picture was it? He posted something, a controversial picture, and it was weird because there were no comments on it, but every other photo on his Instagram, there were comments. You know. So it's either a free forum or it's closed. Yes.

That's what's up. It's an open invitation or it's invitation only. Done. You tell them. When we come back, we have a New Year's gift to you ladies. Do we? Yep. The Lady Gang.

And we're back. So, in going along with the theme of the new year and the brilliance that we have brought to your lives for this many moments, this is called our New Year's Wish to the Gang. Okay. Do you have, like, a script? Yeah, I do. Oh, okay. Because I prepare. Okay.

Thank you. Whoa. Okay. No, it's 2020. I'm cool. Kelty 4.0. I'm cool. I'm cool.

oh my god oh man that should be your mantra like when you meditate that we have a kelty 4.0 like have i ever referred to myself as becca 2.0 i haven't even had a 2.0 too much yeah no you know the only person that can do it is tanya and like she she does it through like her phases in life yeah i do like that it's cute well she's but only on two what i'm on four no she's on three she's on tanya 3.0 oh good for tanya so what you're saying is tanya who's not your like podcast partner can have a 3.0 but your friend kelty can have a 4.0 we're just not sure what the point oh yeah what's your 4.0 there haven't been really many different versions yes there absolutely have it's just kelty thinking she's chill and then it's she's not she's the same person she's been

for five years i got a new jumpsuit yeah i noticed kelty did say this is her 2020 jumpsuit Really? Yep. Oh, my God. It's new, fresh. Good to know. Where is it from? Current Elliott.

Oh, that's expensive. I got it at the Net-A-Porter Cyber Monday sale. Good for you. Nice. Okay. Things we hope our girls get this year. Lane. Yeah.

Get that. Get that good sex. Get that dick. All you single girls. Get that dick. Get that dick. That's the best scene that Paul Rudd's ever done in his life. What?

You know where that's from? I have, like, I'm so good. In Wanderlust. Oh. He's like, he's high and he's looking in the mirror. Oh, my God. So good. I'm going to get you with my dick.

And you know that was all improv. Improv. All improv. It's the greatest. So awkward. I hope that you get the confidence to stay committed to making positive changes in your life. Okay. I hope our girls go and ask for a raise.

All of them? That deserve it. I was going to say. I guarantee a lot of them. Only the girls that deserve it have the confidence to go and ask for a raise. I hope you get the hair color of your dreams out of their Pinterest. You pinned it. You went to the hair.

We see it in the Facebook group all the time. Girls are like, here's what I went with. Here's what I got. It's not the same. Like me. Literally me. Yeah, exactly. I hope you get good hair color.

I hope you guys don't get a f***ed up haircut like I did. I wish you a UTI free year. I hope you all have non-toxic relationships. Oh, that's a good one. I hope that you are removing toxic boyfriends or toxic friends because life's too short. This is a great thing. Toxic things we want our girls to let go of. Yeah.

Any people pleasing. Any fuckboy that you're wasting too much time on. Yes. I think that we should all be nicer to our bodies. I looked back at my bujo from this year and one of the things that I really noticed is i spent a lot of time harassing myself about your body working out or eating right or eating but that happens when you're marking down every single thing that you eat and every time you work out but that's you're kind of like being very hard on yourself but i think in general people

are pretty hard on their bodies yeah yeah whether they bujo it or not that's true and i remember seeing this meme it was like look down at your belly and say thank you to your belly and like these are our bodies we're living in them so it's like i think step off the scales and just stop being like as nutty and just go buy your jeans like do your jeans fit are they getting too tight are you feeling uncomfortable when you're sitting down then it's time to take a walk you know what i mean best thing i ever did is stop weighing myself yeah i think yeah it's hard any toxic things you want to let go of um toxic no not that you want to let go of um what the girls self-destructive behavior texting no more masochism also get off of instagram i'm gonna

say it to probably everybody listening let's all cut the amount of time we're on social media in half i've really done that i've posted a lot less recently actively trying hi orly orly wants you to get the fuck off social media and stop posting stories about her sorry um okay um jack do you have a lesson that you want our ladies to learn this year a lesson yeah i don't know do you you were first well i have things that i would like to learn this year calligraphy ballroom dance no i know they're not lessons but i would like to calligraphy ballroom dancing and french yeah those are on my list ballroom dancing yeah oh my god i love well i used to go to the salsa club in las vegas and i love so salsa i love to have a guy salsa with me and like spin me around

but I would like to take a lesson. It's maybe something I'm going to do for myself. Wow. So I think you should learn something new this year. One of my girlfriends is a swing dancer. Yeah. And I am blown away at how many people swing dance. I'm like, she goes to these little swing dance gatherings.

There's probably a hundred people there. People do it. I just feel like nobody does. It's weird. It's so weird. I'm going to like it. I mean, it's good for you. Do your thing.

Do you. You do you. I think it's a little bit much to ask people to learn something new. What lessons would you like our girls to learn this year? You don't have to be friends with your family. You don't have to. Are you projecting on me? No, I don't know.

I'm trying to. Okay, next question. Okay, what bad habits would you like to trade for good? For our girls? i would like everyone to stop comparing themselves to other people and instead show gratitude for what you've got going on yep acknowledge yourself and what you've done unless you are a piece of shit person then maybe continue to compare that is like a fine yeah you know if you're a shitty person the thing is most shitty people like are the most confident

they are and the biggest assholes like think that their shit don't stink it's okay they usually end of blown well karma yeah karma comes and bites people okay here's a bad habit i i think that i wish for you to change in this year ladies and gentlemen is you should be impeccable with your word so if you're gonna come to my birthday party not that i would have one respond to the evite you should say if you say you're coming you should come if you say you're not coming fine don't come but like do the thing that you said you're going to do walk the walk LA is very flaky and it gets me down sometimes when people are like flaky town yeah walk the walk like I'm not flaky because I'm like I didn't even open the evite I will is the definition I will open the evite for not no the

definition of flaky is like yeah I'll definitely be there can't wait and then even that afternoon you're like hey what time's everyone getting there and then after you're like where's Jane she never came I think it's yeah I think it's it's a toss-up they're both flaky they're both flaky um i think another thing that girls and guys can do is not overexert yourself and say yes to all of the things and then miss out on maybe the important things yeah oh so um okay uh do you have a favorite these are now just two questions we're not oh do you have a personal wish you would like to give the lady game girls the same questions in different words they are okay well we can move on i wanted to well my next note said thank you for an incredible year it's been a we've had

a lot of support yeah the lady gang um yeah i mean thank you continue to show up please because kelty's gonna go postal if we don't hit a new york times bestseller list no and i do think that yeah meeting all our gals this year we met more people this year than we've ever met it's true so and everybody's so cool it still surprises me all the time it really surprises me and the facebook group is so poppin so poppin like the girls when they're talking and the funny things they bring up and like their funny lives like the things that they share in there is just they're just so funny and i do have to say from the facebook group i'm in some other facebook groups they're dumpster fires they're fucking crazy our girls are so cool and like moderators really keep

the moderators keep it on lock we've only had a few small dumpster fires literal fires literal people lighting lady boxes on fire but i've seen like some questions where girls are really asking for advice and our girls generally have very good heads on their shoulders and give the advice that i feel like i would give as somebody that i think has an okay head on my shoulders yeah we're usually i feel like it's like all over the place and that people yell at each other and then it starts a huge fight right our girls our girls are rad it's so cool that's why we have to stop focusing on getting the number higher in the facebook group because we've got he's determined to get it to 30 000 no i'm hold on hold it on i'm not trying to get the group higher i'm trying to get the

group bigger that's what i meant it's a higher number it's not no no it's not just the number it's everyone invites someone that they think would be great in this group you just want to have everybody share the love yeah like i think with that comes dumpster fires but so far no yeah but we can't force it no i'm not forcing it i thought it would be a cool reminder during the lady when we had the lady gang day to just be like hey this a group exists like think about your lives like only 200 new people came in yeah like think about your lives is there someone who could use this group yeah no that's a better way than like we're trying to hit blah blah blah no it's not i don't want just to make the number i want the group to be even more fabulous and it's

always good to get like i'm new to this group and i'm feeling so lost in my small town like i love that i love that too yeah i love our guild yeah i mean if we wanted 100 million people on our facebook group we could definitely have them totally um okay favorite fan memory oh god there's so many probably when i was a celebrity in north carolina wait what no was it north carolina was it north carolina that i said that i was there with jared i thought you were in charleston oh it was no i don't remember raleigh i don't remember i was somewhere in the south and randomly on tour with jared in like a small not a small town but like a regular whatever town and i have never had more awesome girls come up to me at once that's that will never happen

again never say never yeah why why are you going into 2020 with that attitude i don't know it was just crazy i'm like like the amount normally compared to the amount that one day yeah was there's a very vast difference this next level it was next level so weird it's my 20 year high reunion this year it is are you going i'm thinking of course of course you are oh jesus i can't even imagine it's because this is going to be like the seychelles you're prepping for six months no yeah i don't need to are you throwing it i don't need to um my favorite fan memory is that the la show when that sweet lady ganger came dressed in the k-type costume what was the costume she had like the wife beater that had k-type and then had the like dictionary definition and then like a bow

and her hair was so cute. Can we circle back to what you're going to do for your story? What am I going to do? Nothing. She just goes to show everybody how successful she is. Yeah, like, what's your prep? My prep? Okay. Well, honestly. You know, I'm, this is going to be rich, okay?

You're acting like, oh. She's been thinking about it for the last, like, three years. No, I haven't. No, I haven't. I thought very hard about my tenure, and then I would I threw the 15 year myself and only four people came yeah because who needs to go to a 15 year high school i know it was well here's the thing i never get four people yeah it was so bad but

the the reason it was i threw it on may long weekend which was a mistake but in canada okay so 20 years the reason i like these reunion is because you got an emmy are you gonna bring your on me with you no she's two the callie stop pumping her the reason that i like these reunions is i never get up to shore park it's an excuse for me to go home and my best friend katie lives in winnipeg and it's excuse for her to go home and this year was on my manifest list so your whole family is not an excuse to go home but my family comes to la all the time so there's no reason for me to go back to shore park and when i'm there i always run into like my old dance friends and there's like a large part of people that i'm not good enough friends with that i would

like bring them to stay with me in LA. Anyway, I'm not talking about this during the new year's wish episode. I'm just saying it's my 20 year high school union. Have I thought about what I might wear? Sure. What are you going to wear? Have I,

have I pinned a Pinterest board about hair looks inspiration? You have not. I'm just kidding. Did I think this morning as my hair was floating in the wind, I will continue to grow my hair out for the reunion. Yes, I did. Fine.

I thought about it a little, but like, as if you're not, you're obsessed. I'm definitely not growing. Your hair out is abnormal. It is getting really long though. Thank you.

It's making me miss my old hair. oh 2020 it's not that long it's not it's longer than you've ever had my hair was that long last week before i cut it i know it'll probably be it'll like beat me up do you think i should just torture you and grow my hair out see how long let's see from your hair being literally up to my ears 2.5 inches below your ears and mine being let's see how quickly mine grows yeah i'm not gonna cut it okay does your hair does not grow it doesn't grow no has this the longest you've ever had it it's because it's not the longest it's definitely the thickest because i've been taking all that hair vitamin you guys we have to go okay but i love you happy new year lady gang

we're so excited to go into 2020 with you orly's insane right now really doing orly the dog is on becca's lap with its head all the way up the ceiling just allowing with her eye closed just allowing to be pet uh-huh she's like take me home okay no but really we love you guys happy new year thank you for all the support can get this year bitches yeah get after it go get it after it okay we weren't here for a long time we're here for a good one old man's eye time with you oh my god okay good night bye thanks for listening and make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast we have new episodes of lady gang every tuesday and thursday follow us on social media at the lady gang uh follow us personally at kelty most importantly at becca and at jack

The Lady Gang Network is produced by Will Sterling, Steve Delamater, Kirsten Woodward, and Elizabeth Begwet. Thanks for rating and reviewing them wherever you get your podcasts and tune in for new episodes every single week.