LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: A Quick Quarantine Check In

Episode Date: April 16, 2020

We’re still at home. Not together. But that doesn’t mean we can’t find a way to podcast together! What kind of content are we watching and creating? Would Keltie have been a good interior designer for Matt Nathanson? Why do the homes of the Backstreet Boys look creepy? So many things to find out while we quarantine together…apart! La Croix – Find out more at lacroixwater.com.  Personna – Go to amazon.com/personna and use code GOODW EEK for 25% off your first order. FOCL – Go to focl.com and use code LADYGANG for 15% off your first order.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

it's time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek let's make this quick hello hello hello and welcome to the lady gang our very first zoom lady gang podcast and you guys it took us 46 minutes to achieve this this mediocrity oh my god you guys first of all hi it's becca jack and kelty here hi i am like i was almost defeated and then we really pulled through hopefully this doesn't get deleted before it comes out i don't know fingers crossed i like have tears in my eyes and i'm laughing at the same time because like i know there's so much worse stuff happening in the world. But like when your headphones don't work properly and you're

sitting in a closet trying to just be with the gang and it's not working, it's like a very emotional and very fragile right now. It's so, it's so hard. Everything's hard. Everything's hard. And none of us know anything about technology or like computer programs or equipment set up. We're really screwed. Someone referred to themselves as a something millennial like an elderly millennial oh and that's what we are because people assume that millennials all have like they grew up in tech and all that stuff like we didn't we had like AOL instant messenger towards the end of our brain development like that's all I know how to use I know how to write a really fire away message and then that's as far as my technology use goes we're the elders of the

millennial i literally like um have just had so many breakdowns about technology um this week and i had to have like such a big cry that chris has now like is fully scared of me like he will come in the room and he'll like sneak around the corner and he'll look at me like is she gonna have a meltdown like the amount of cameras and microphones and then like one of my friends at work was like oh yeah yeah dog you gotta you gotta get this microphone it's wireless it's gonna sound so great i got it i literally tried to make it work for three hours finally got on the phone with the company in australia and they were like oh yeah it's not compatible with iphones you can't use it at all and i was like i just wasted three hours of my life and 199 dollars yeah well i just want

to cry also can i just talk a little shit about what you're doing from home right now what her like the world doesn't need entertainment television right now like i don't need to know what all the celebrities are doing during quarantine and it makes me mad that they're taking away lady gang time that you could be spending on your other business and making you report from your kitchen about what like gwyneth paltrow is doing on her daily walks the thing is there's no news so what the are people talking about there's no rivalries there's nothing happening like there's no controversy all it is is celebrities talking from their mansions it's true but i am loving one of here's the thing i you know how i bujo we're gonna get to your

bujo in a minute jack but so i made like an april mood chart to like see what my moods would be and they're like it's like i'm so happy i'm so sad whatever anyway so you're like documenting your moods yeah like you put a colored board for april it's you're documenting kelty's mood yeah yeah it's just my my april moods and like everything is terrible and life is like a dumpster fire but um one of the things that has really been giving me peace at this difficult time is seeing the inside of celebrities homes yes yes that is actually yeah what what the is going on with the Backstreet Boys oh wait that's what I messaged you I messaged Kelsey a screenshot when they did that live concert they did that like um I heart rate what

was it some stupid thing yeah yeah and um Brian from the Backstreet Boys pops on and he's like in it looks like a Vegas sex dungeon and there's like red red drapery and like pendant lights and it just looks like it looks like my rich friends in middle school's dad's man caves you know what i mean it was so aggressive and then i was like i thought that whole show was so funny because i was like oh there's tim mcgraw like hanging out singing a song by his pool that looks like the four seasons and i was like i have a beautiful house so i'm not complaining about like my quarantine life but i'm like is this the time you should be showing off your one-of-a-kind chair ellen i'm not sure it is no my question is because through the backstreet boys concert

did aj have the sexualness that he did in real life did it translate through zoom no no he was sitting on a piano bench and i think his kids like play-doh kitchen was behind him it was and i was like really brings it back down yeah you can't be doing like a sexual hip thrust like honestly quarantine AJ I'm falling right out of love like I was so in love and then quarantine AJ he is also has a soul patch like it's just so many mistakes Kelsey he's always had a soul patch we've just looked past it yeah now that I can't see him from his hips down and his body doing humps I don't want any this is the this is what happens you guys have to know this you dated a rock star but for like the split second that I dated a musician I was like I only am attracted

to you when you're doing what you're doing and you're wearing your thing and you're wearing your garb and then you it's like I guess when men fall in love with strippers they're like I only want to see you as that and then I don't want to see you home with your zit cream when the musician put on his normal sweats I was disgusted well that's like when Kelty and I fell in love with our mutual ex and we are only attracted to him when he was wearing a vest full of roses and then when he took the rose vest off then it was like ew who are you exactly yeah the weirdest things are becoming famous during corona like people's appetite for content is so bizarre no it is it is bizarre it's bizarre yeah but it's like when you have absolutely

nothing to do, your bar for what is entertaining is just automatically going to be lower. So you could put any garbage on Instagram except Instagram Live. No one wants an Instagram Live. Nobody needs another Instagram Live, Kelty. People hate Instagram Lives. And there's someone that I follow on Instagram. It's not Kelty. And she's been doing them so much. And it's like making me very turned off from her as a person even though i really like her i think everyone needs to chill the out unless you're doing something like a workout class no that's like no that's helpful you can like not watch it's not like it's not like us sitting here in the closet being like hey guys what's happening what are we doing the workout is nice because it's

like giving them a free thing if they want it well if they want to work out along with the person but i don't want to watch your workout well no one's doing a workout live no they're doing it to do the workout wait but i have a question we did lives the first week of quarantine i think that we hit it when it was hot and i think that everyone needs to back off the thing is people are asking me to be in their lives i'm not gonna say no no stop saying i would i would i think you can do one live and then just like you know let it go before you like jump the shark on your own instagram and then just retire that's like brad bucks they they retired at their peak and then everybody is just like what's happening leave them wanting more okay no but no one wanted any

to begin with no not at all you're just hoping that you give them enough samples and they become into like wait i'm really into you and i'm like you just realized that yeah um what are you guys watching this feels like instagram live now get me out of here well i thank you for asking um i've been taking spanish lessons and i'm on well because i've really been watching anything i've been uh watching a lot of shows and listening to the radio so i can start to immerse myself in the spanish language and uh it's been going great thanks for asking the radio yeah because if you listen to the language you can pick up the words you know like dia which is day well yeah and today i learned today i learned how to say i'm bad

oh el toy mall mall and the reason i know it's mall is because darth maul is bad in star wars and mall is how you say i'm bad mall are you gonna start dirty talking in spanish to chris no it's it's too hard to even say hello do you want something to eat um so i mean i eventually sure i hope that i'm so immersed in this um but one of the things that's been helping me is i go in the facebook group i know this is so boring but i go in the facebook group and i write a message in spanish to everyone and then everyone that speaks spanish speaks to me back in spanish and i've been practicing responding to them it's pretty good i've not done one thing productive in my entire time so if you guys are listening and you haven't either you also don't have to

learn a language no i haven't either and honestly i know you mentioned the bujo before but i bought a journal to start bujoing because that's how fucking bored i was and i lasted like three days so i haven't i haven't filled out my hydration calendar bullshit i haven't filled out my steps i haven't filled out my grateful page i haven't done shit so it's not like such a good role jack The intention was there, but, like, the personality type of being a bullet journaler is not. I just can't do anything productive unless it comes with a paycheck. Like, even reading books right now is hard for me. If someone was like, hey, I'll give you $100 to read this book, I'd do it.

I get it. And no paychecks are coming. No. No paychecks are coming. The paychecks are gone. But what's been interesting is that I've had days like that, too, guys. Like I'm not always productive. I, there have been days where I've been so low and so depressed by this whole thing that

I've just looked at the wall. The other day I went for a walk in the morning and I had three cupcakes before like 8 30 AM. Like there's, I'm just don't want to make everyone feel bad. Like I'm over here, like really winning the world. Like I've taken five Spanish sessions, lessons, and I haven't worked out in like five days. Like I, I refuse to work out and I'm like giving my adrenals a break. So I'm like, you know what?

like i'm just not working out like get i'm just i can't yeah i haven't even done tiktoks if i was really trying to be proactive you would be getting a new tiktok and ig live for an hour every day with my routine my skincare you were doing that for a while and then i feel like your normal job came back and it's like of your your need to be seen yeah and now i'm back being seen by millions on tv every night so i don't need like eat ig live my 300 people that show up you know oh my god you're such an idiot there's nothing worse than when you're on ig live and you see how many people well even people with like millions of followers have four like four thousand people on their lives so i'm like nobody watches anybody's lives let alone somebody

you guys any of our stature i went to the matt nathanson live he's been doing one every wednesday where he plays like three songs he's gonna play songs off the new album so of course I tuned in because I'm so excited about the new album and I tuned in and then I saw the inside of his house and I was like oh god I don't know if I can listen to you anymore like when someone I want to love has that color of wall that's very specific I'm like nope it would have never worked out with us you love a green wall it's kind of like looking at somebody's underwear choice that doesn't match your vibe i'm gonna say something i think this is i mean i'm gonna get in trouble i think that women dictate what the house looks like so i think that if matt nathanson had married

you he would have a beautiful home i mean i'm sure some women just don't care yeah you know and then the kind the cat came in and i was like oh god you're thin cat person like i can't be having a litter box up in my life i mean it wasn't going to work out for many reasons but but that was like your last hope that you're holding on to my last hope that he was going to be husband number three you know and it really flew out the window i'm sorry kelty for your loss but a difficult time stop wasting your nights on a mattress that doesn't get you experience the most comfortable mattress in the world the sleep number smart bed at the touch of a button you can personalize your comfort

choose firmer or softer adjust cooler to warmer and right now save up to twenty five hundred dollars during our massive labor day event hurry into your local sleep number store today because we have your number it's been a really difficult time thank you for the thank you for that the lady gang um jack how's it been quarantining with your parents no actually jack i have been worried about you why because i'm good at being home like i'm i'm going a little wheezy but i'm fine i know becca's good at being home too like are you okay how are you it's been hard you know i'm like i'm always wanting to do like a thousand different things at once a jacktivity i i want a jacktivity i've been trying to create jacktivities out of nothing

to really just like have something to look forward to um it's been it's been not the best but it's okay i'm with my parents have been some of those activities um well i created like a birthday brunch for jared i had a wine and paint and cheese night where i made a cheese board that was very cute it was delicious um we have my cornhole boards outside so we've been playing cornhole i've been trying to make something out of nothing it's okay it happens have you been wearing just mostly sweatpants or have you put like a crop top skirt on at all there's been no crop tops i haven't done my hair my makeup i haven't worn anything other than a sweat in four weeks good for you has anybody well yeah every friday you have every friday i do it because

we have um zoom cocktail hour so i'll do a full-blown like hair makeup and outfit and it actually feels nice i think i need to do that we've been having like a friday cocktail hour too with my friends and i think i need to yeah we call it fancy friday cute that's cute a zoom cocktail hour sounds like my worst nightmare why you can just sit there and chill and watch people talk and drink it's great well what my friend has been doing my friend kendra is she lives in san Francisco and all of them have their favorite bars in San Francisco so every hour one of them takes the lead and DJs for an hour for like the theme of that bar so her bar DJ is like early 2000s like alternative music so she sat there had like a smoke machine in her apartment and lights

and all this shit and she DJed for an hour everybody just turns on her one her zoom's the only one with sound and everybody just dances I can't get into those like DJ sets and like those types of things like i don't want to hear your music i only do when it's early 2000s music i don't want to hear a bummer grind i hate i hate an early 2000s music i can't believe that early 2000s is the prime music of our generation prime 90 90s alternative into early 2000s alternative is the best genre of music take me from soundgarden to jessica simpson he's irresistible i mean it's like fun for a minute and then i sort of it makes me just sad i'm like because you're old well because it's like it reminds me of my parents when my dad used to

make me listen to like guns and roses and like guns and roses isn't that genre of his generation i don't think guns and roses is of your dad's generation that's our generation no it's not are you kidding me well my dad would listen to like my dad would listen to like when it was the early 2000s he'd be jamming out to like 80s rock and it would just be like oh my god like journey and shit and i'm like i am sad for you no so your idea of early 2000s music is not what early 2000s music was no i'm saying no i'm saying it reminds me of when old people listen to the music of their generation so like now our version of journey is jessica simpson and it just bums me out, is what I'm saying. It makes

me feel like we're old people listening to the music of our generation, and I want to move forward. We are. That's why it makes me sad. It reminds me of how old I am. You don't have to yell. We're in a closet on a headphone. It's okay. Calm down. You guys just didn't

understand what I was saying. I didn't mean to offend you. Although sometimes the other day, I've been cooking a lot, and I put on Vanessa Carlton, early 2000s Vanessa Carlton, and I was like, ooh, and then I was like, I am old right now. That's what I'm saying.

It bums me out. It brings you back, but it's like nostalgic in a nice way. No. Okay. Well, this is, we're done you guys. I'm glad we had a quarantine check-in with our girls to see how they are and see how we are, which is not great. It was mostly just seeing how we were.

Yeah. Basically. It was like when I had Chris on the podcast, I'm like, we're going to get to know about you. What do you think of me? yeah it was a lot that was exactly what it was it was amazing i was like uh this is a horrible podcast anyway um i think well we'll see how this does we'll see if if you guys hate it we won't do go from the closet anymore but if you really want us while we're in our nuttiest like we'll

do more of these you know we have is time right now all we have is time not really we're about to be recording an audiobook so yeah do you think i'm nervous i'm scared about fumbling over my words because you know when i get nervous when i'm reading something all i do is fumble and fumble and fumble it's gonna take a long time just start over but also and i think what makes a good audiobook is when you tell stories in between the stories like when you're like and then you have a cry like if you listen to jessica if you listen to jessica simpson we're not going on script i probably will and you won't be able to stop me no no no no no no way am i ever doing that no it's not off script a whole other story but you can add in a little ha or like a cry yeah

you can we can do whatever you want if you fake cry in the lady gang audiobook i quit knowing kelty too she'll like fake cry during a chapter of course you will something you should not be crying about of course it'll be the wrong place it'll be about your plastic surgery yeah it'll it'll just be so inappropriate and i just can't stand for that yeah well look on your own okay i won't fake cry but i am excited about the audiobook i think it's gonna be amazing It took us 46 minutes to set up this Zoom podcast. It's going to be a disaster. And we're each going to be by ourselves trying to set this shit up.

There's no way. We're all in this. I need a support group. Yeah. It's going to be rocky. We need to hire a Lady Gang IT girl. Yeah. But here's my question.

I actually had a great idea, and I'm going to bring this up to you as our final thought for this quickie. do you think that now we've all been in quarantine for like 20 days so we're all safe should we be quarantining together well no no no because apparently if you've been getting any outside food any deliveries any anything then you've compromised the like quarantine so actually no no we shouldn't we should be away from each other forever i also looked into an underground bunker and we could do that kelty you can't hide from a virus yeah you can't you can't run away from a virus it'll find you underground well what how are we gonna eat what are we gonna eat no it has food the food it has somebody else's doomsday bunker

they said that the sales are way up on bunkers no shit wait you can't just buy a bunker yes i thought you don't have to build your own someone has already built it and is selling oh well actually um there are a lot of celebrities who have bunkers in their homes yeah like underneath there's actually a really really expensive house in my friend's neighborhood and they bought the house and it was the most beautiful house ever and then they started all this construction on the foundation of the house and they kept saying that they were just adding a man cave to the basement and we're like no way they're spending 10 million dollars to add a man cave it's gonna be a bunker and it was a bunker yeah rich people man rich people they like tore

up a 20 million dollar house to add their bunker some people need their bunkers laughing now guess who's laughing now i know except not really because again you are just as safe in your house as you are in a bunker from invisible particles well that's the thing i bet none of these people are actually staying in their bunkers right now they're living in their mansion bunkers are not for viruses bunkers are for like you know war nuclear weapons yeah nuclear weapons and like i don't know alien invasions tight which is probably what's going to happen next the whole thing's a shit show earth is a shit show you know what this is the time that it would be very alien it's a very good time for them to just announce that aliens are real and they live among us

nobody would be surprised by anything right now right they're like oh cool like there's a virus a pandemic and by the way we lied about aliens at 1951 they've been around this whole time you an idiot and here's george he's i feel like it would just be a too big of a leap for me to go from believing in a virus that's scientifically proven to an alien i don't think so i don't think so i think this is the time if any if that dr fasusi or whatever his name is comes out If Ali Fedotowsky comes out and tells me that aliens are real, then they're real. Oh, my God. Listen, they are real and the government's been hiding them from us.

But now is the time to expose them. I like that you think is that is do you think the government is really hiding aliens from us? Yes. Okay. All right. Cool. It's so weird what people choose to believe. i'm not surprised that jack believes in aliens at all i think it's ignorant to not believe in

aliens that we're the only living things i don't think that they're here though i think that they're on other planets like other things we know less about the depths of our ocean than we do about distant galaxies this is really weird good night okay we miss you guys so much and i actually miss talking to you guys so i know i miss you i know you don't miss me but i miss you and we're not here for a long time we're here for a weird one we're here for a mildly okay time and i'm kevin frazier thanks for listening and make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast we have new episodes of lady gang every tuesday and thursday follow us on social media at the lady gang uh follow us personally at kelty most importantly at becca and at jack

bannock the lady gang network is produced by will sterling steve delamater kirsten woodward and elizabeth beckway thanks for rating and reviewing wherever you get your podcasts and tune in for new episodes every single week