LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: A Trippy Quickie

Episode Date: June 18, 2020

Today we’re talking about Becca’s magical mystery tour. Aka drugs. Hear her fantastic journey through mushrooms and a few warnings about ayahuasca if you’re going to travel down that spiritual road. Thanks to this episode's sponsor! Caldrea - Get free shipping on orders of $50 or more when you shop online at caldrea.com.   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's time for a quickie. Podcast one presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Lady Gang Quickie. I am Becca here with Jack and Kelty, and I just gave myself a bomb manicure. What are you doing your manicure with?

Olive and June. it's this company that has like all non-toxic products is it just regular nail polish yeah I haven't it's one of those girls that can do a regular nail polish which not for me my cuticles are disgusting they have this cuticle oil that is next level I'm telling you my cuticles at the beginning of quarantine were brutal and this stuff is insane it's their cuticle serum, wild cactus flower, olive and June, not sponsored. I don't like my cuticle picking is because of anxiety, but it keeps you from picking because it's not dry. Like it never gets dry enough to pick. I'll figure it out. It's so good where there's a will, there's a way to

pick your, okay, fine. Then always be a loser. Okay. All right. Now we need to talk about something very important. We talked a little bit about this on skinny confidential, but I am so interested in it that I thought we deserved a quickie. Becca, doing drugs. Can you explain everything about it? And then I will interject with my questions. Okay. So there is this, let's see, there's this shaman who works and he's a medical doctor and he works with a bunch of plants to work on plant therapy with people. So mushrooms, ayahuasca, you name it, there's a ton of different properties and plants that can take us to places, whatever, inside ourselves, inside our brains, whatever. So he has all of these facilitators that work beneath him that train to be able to take people

on what they call a journey. What the journey is, is you can do it in groups, you can do it single, You could do it with couples. So Zach and I decided we wanted to take a journey. We have friends that have done it. We know a bunch of people actually who have done it with these specific people. And it's a night where they come over or you go to their house and they basically talk to you about what is it that's like, what are you stuck with? What's an intention going into this journey that you want to change or whatever? So they come over and they give you all of these different personalized formulations of plants to get you to where you need to be as far as like open your heart, open your mind, whatever. And then towards the end of the night,

they give you a chocolate that is ayahuasca and mushrooms. So it's not like your typical ayahuasca journey like Chelsea Handler did on her Netflix special in Peru, where it's just straight ayahuasca where you like shit your brains out and barf everywhere and you purge the whole time. And then you like hallucinate and you see a lot of people I know who have done ayahuasca say they're like saw their lives as a movie in their head flash really quickly. And you're sort of not in control of where you're taken psychologically. So this is actually like a more grounding experience. And I guess the way that they make it, you are more in control of where you want to take it. So if you start to like, and they're guiding you the whole time, they're like sort of

talking you through it or you're talking with your spouse or whoever you're there with. Like it's a very, I don't know, like group type environment. So you're never like scared of what's happening. And if you start to go down a road that they think isn't going to serve you, they can kind of be like, just don't go there. Let's go here. And they sort of like redirect your thoughts. So it's very productive and really cathartic. So I, wait, I have a question. Sorry. I, when I was younger, went through this whole phase where I like went down a deep rabbit hole on ayahuasca because I thought that I was going to go to Peru and do the whole thing. So for like a normal ayahuasca trip, it's so intense. And people, like you said, they're shitting their

brains out. They're puking. It's called purging. Yeah. And one of my friends did it and literally said that she was in the universe and then she like saw her dead mother as one of the stars and then she spoke to god and like all this so if you're doing it the way that you did it it's less it's way it's way more grounded and there can be hallucinations like if you like something you have any i didn't have any really um and i did zach i don't think zach did either. But a lot of it too is like if you take it and you are a little more solitary and you kind of close your eyes, I think that sort of allows you to have the hallucinations. But it's not like this thing where like I've never – I love mushrooms, psychedelic mushrooms, but I've

never eaten enough to the point of hallucinating to like where my college roommate would eat mushrooms and she would literally think that her bed was like a pirate ship and there were like flying monkeys. So I never, ever enjoyed that type of hallucinating. I like it when it's just more grounded. So it was sort of like an intense mushroom trip without hallucinations. So you just feel like your ego is completely stripped away. There is no ability to censor yourself or care really what anybody thinks. You just sort of like, if it comes to you, they'll tell you to just say it because there's a reason it's coming out. And what's interesting is that at the end of my journey, the end of the night, I actually did start throwing up. But she's like, I think that

it was sort of like you had a lot to purge and release. And that was sort of like your body's way of doing it. And what was weird is I wasn't freaked out at all throwing up. I was nauseous but it was a weird, like cathartic purge. Like I almost knew that like my body just needed to do it. All right. When we come back, more drugs with Becca. The lady gang. Okay. We're back. I have a question for you. I have so many questions, but so you have had some trauma in your past year? And then you've also had like big traumas in the past decade. Do you think the purge, is it like for things that have recently happened or when you're doing this, can you purge like things that were older or how does it work? It just depends on the person. I mean, everybody

has stuff to excavate, like that they haven't fully, I think gone, like been able to process. Yeah. So it's like, if you think intuitively, everybody knows, I think to a certain extent, if you're holding onto something, whether it's 10 years ago or like a year ago, you know. And so when you're like in that place, some people have had incredible tragedies and they've processed them enough to where they'll do this work and they don't even touch on it. It's stuff that's, other stuff. So it's like, it's so specific to each person that it's, it's so, it's just so interesting. Like everyone gets something out of it. And a lot of the time, sometimes people aren't even doing it to get over trauma. Like a lot of people are doing it to like learn how to be more

present in their lives or learn how to get rid of more negativity and welcome positive things. And And also just like the heart openers are what they normally give you when it's your first journey. And that's because, I mean, that's really what a lot of us just have to work on if you're just kind of better and you like love yourself and love other people and are a little bit more accepting and a little more empathetic, then a lot of things fall into place. And what was it like going through it with Zach? Because you're someone that goes to therapy, so you're always on this constant mission

to kind of like redo yourself and work through your stuff. Is he, or was this like, whoa for him? No. I mean, he's so interesting because he is so down for whatever, even if it's not something he like subscribes to in a way. And so I've always been the person in our life that's just a little bit more like woo-woo, a little more unconventional. Like my therapist is a spiritual therapist. Like she's like, it's a very specific type of therapy. And like, he's never ever like been skeptical of it. He's always been super accepting. And so when I said that I wanted to do this, he's like, he's known that I've wanted to do this for a really long time. And he's like, yeah, I'll do it with you. Like, it's so funny to me because there's no way that somebody could

get me to do something this drastic. If I wasn't something I really wanted to do, I'm like, so you're going to do like a crazy drug with me just because I want to do it. But it was cool because he, I don't know, it kind of, it kind of like, it really bonded, really bonded us like in a major way. I have a question. So you, you know, you're saying that some people do go and do this journey to kind of move through trauma. And so when you're doing it and you know that you're going to have to kind of confront these really dark things in your life, was the experience scary? And were you scared going into it? Because as somebody who tries to like avoid all scary confrontation, I think if I was going to do that myself, I would be like fucking terrified.

Yeah. Like the fear of the unknown of like what it could bring up is really scary to me. Yeah. So I had enough people in my life that had done it, who I trust, who told me there's no way that there's no way you're going to have a bad experience. That's what I've heard too. Yeah. And so that, cause I never was somebody that even wanted to do regular ayahuasca. Like I did not want to go through, I don't want to see dark and sad and scary. Like I'm like life's scary enough. So I, even if there's something that like you think you're going to touch it on going into it, that's sad, it's not like you're experiencing it again all over. It's just processing things and going a little more into your consciousness to be able to say, oh, this is why I handled it

this way. And this is what I'm still doing in my life that's keeping me from opening up. For me in particular, it was an experience where I had after, after Matt passed away, I had a lot of people who were trying to get at me and like get information because there's a, there's a weird thing that happens when something tragic happens. And it's like, there are types of people that want to be close to the tragedy and the drama to be able to like have a piece of it because they want to be able to run away from the experience and tell other friends like, oh, I was with her and let me tell you what happened because people use information as like, as currency sometimes in those situations. And so I had so many experiences during that time where number one, I was on a TV

show. And so it was a public thing that was happening where people found out that were close to me before I was even able to tell them because TMZ got a call from the hotel that he had passed away in. So it was just a really fucked up exploitative way to go through something so traumatic. And then people close to me, there were people close to me who made up stories about how I was handling things. I won't get specific about it, but I was so hurt by someone taking something so awful that was happening to me and using it for their own benefit. And so I, from that point on, I was like, well, I'm not going to give anyone anything. You're not going to get a piece of me because I don't trust that you're not going to handle this in the way that I think it should be

handled. So that was probably, and that was like six years ago. And from that point on, I really have never opened up to people when I'm going through a hard time because I just have this old habit of like really not trusting that people aren't going to use it against me. Wow. There you go. There's your quickie. No, I mean, it makes sense. But even in your marriage, like you would do that too? No, I think the reason that Zach and I actually worked out, which is a lot of people would like question the timing of our, of our like whole entire relationship was he and I had known each other, like very acquaintance, not even really friends for so many years. And then, um, six months after Matt passed away, I was reintroduced to him

socially and it was a really slow burn, but he knew, he knew immediately when Matt had passed away. And so he knew immediately when he saw me six months later, like what I was going through. I mean, and it was very apparent in how I was like functioning in the world, but like he, so he and I started off with, um, like there was no way to keep it a secret. Like it was like, this is what it is. And if I'm going to have a relationship with you, if I'm going to eventually be intimate with you. Like I was so raw at that point that there was absolutely no hiding that vulnerability. And I also think that he was like the, one of the only people who during that time I opened up to a lot, like in that grieving process, which seems super fucked up, like from

an outsider. But at the same time, I think that I couldn't have had a healthy relationship post-Matt if it wasn't somebody who could have been close enough to the experience to understand me. Well, and in retrospect, it's like the timing of that is so interesting because of how you've like closed yourself off after that whole experience within time that if you had met somebody further along in your life, you might've been like so closed off that you wouldn't have been able to make like a functioning relationship happen either. Yeah, there's no way. I mean, I haven't even been able to really make friendships since that happened. Like I really sort of like shut the gates and was like, this is it. Thank you. I mean, just now this year has been the time where I've made other really close female friendships because I am just more trusting. And also like I realized that it's not my business if somebody wants to go tell my business. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, whatever, who cares? Like, it's just because the stakes aren't so high. I'm like, great, cool. Go, go talk about me. Like, and also nobody's really talking about me anymore. So it's like really, really useful. You know what I mean? Like I'm not on a fucking hit TV show. There's no paparazzi outside my house when something bad happens. So

it's like, it's a different world. It's a different life now. Sorry. I have one more question before we leave. So for somebody that is not into psychedelics and like, hasn't done mushrooms, like maybe kind of smokes weed or doesn't like, do you recommend that experience to somebody that's kind of inexperienced within the whole realm? Yeah. Like I've done mushrooms once. I've done no mushrooms. I can barely smoke weed. Like how would I fare? Here's what I'll say, like the facilitator who she, she does this whole thing. Like when I, on my first conversation with her, I said to her, I was like, I'm a little worried because sometimes when I smoke weed, it can take a really, really bad turn. And she's like, I do not smoke weed. I hate smoking weed.

I've never smoked weed. And, but I will say that I think that the reason I had less anxiety going into this experience was because I had had over the last year or year or more, I've had more recreational use with mushrooms and I've been micro dosing them. So it's like, it's all about really, really small quantities and just taking it really slow. But there are some really crazy these studies about how mushrooms are helping in the areas of like postpartum and PTSD, chronic depression. Like it does sort of open up neuropathways in your brain that you otherwise couldn't get to. So I would say if there's anything I would, this experience, maybe not for everybody, but I do think that if you know somebody who is like knowledgeable enough in microdosing mushrooms,

it's, it's amazing what it can do. So maybe we, soon they're going to be like completely regulated and legal. So, um, I think we should have a magic mushroom lady gang product. That's all I'm saying. Ooh, I can see the branding on this. Um, okay. Well, listen, Becca, I love you. and that was so awesome. That was so cool. But I think both of you would really benefit from this. Again, I can't smoke weed anymore. No, I can't either. And I haven't since doing this because I really just don't want to. Interesting. I'll put it in the boo-jo. Put it in the boo-jo. Put it in the boo-jo. Okay. Well, I can't wait till we can all be together again and see you in person. But we were not here for a long time. We were here... Wait,

you got to do it together. We weren't here for a long time. We are here for a good time. Thanks for listening, and make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcasts. We have new episodes of Lady Gang every Tuesday and Thursday. Follow us on social media at TheLadyGang. Follow us personally at Kelty, most importantly, at Becca, and at Jack Bannock. The Lady Gang Network is produced by Will Sterling, Steve Delamater, Kirsten Woodward, and Elizabeth Begwet. Thanks for rating and reviewing wherever you get your podcasts, and tune in for new episodes every single week.