LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: ADULT PLEASURES

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

Getting older sucks; our bodies ache, our hangovers last longer, and our Botox budget increases yearly. However, there are some damn good things about being an adult, and we are celebrating them and calling them ADULT PLEASURES. The little things like not leaving the house, naps, and Brussels sprouts are little gifts from the old age and we need to start looking on the bright side of waking up on the old side!  Check out our holiday deals!!! Skims: Go to Skims.com and get free shipping on orders over $75! Select "podcast" in the survey and select LADYGANG from the dropdown menu! Loft: Use code LADYGANG at Loft.com to get $25 off your full price purchase! Huggies: Get your baby’s butt into Huggies best fitting diaper! Huggies Little Movers. We got you, baby. Take a brief survey at PodcastStudy.com and be one of the first 150 people to get a $10 amazon gift card!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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it's time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek let's make this quick hello hello hello welcome to lady and quickie i'm becca here with jack and kelty good day good day good day to you my stomach just made that crazy noise when like you maybe have to fart but you're holding it in but then it like makes the fart inside your stomach inside fart yeah it's an inside fart it was very loud it was so loud each other being like earthquake i know we never thought it was a spider-man meme we're like you you you who did it it was me who did it it was me how's it going um i'm doing really good thanks for asking can i tell

a funny story yeah on my way in here we're at the podcast one studios which are very beautiful and it's in a building that's very beautiful the lobby is like pristine and gorgeous and whatever before we got here this might not be what this is my theory i go to the front desk and it's like this clean white marble surface and i'm checking in at security and the security guard comes out and she's like just like doing my stuff and then she looks over at one side of the desk and she goes somebody spilled coffee all over this surface and didn't even wipe it up like how rude and it was a lot of coffee and in my mind i was like that was a thousand percent kelty no it was me did you spill coffee too i have tea and i got it after i already can't you tell by the top of

my thing i spilt it and then i panicked because there was no napkins anywhere and i ran to the cafe to go get napkins but then by the time i came down i was getting ushered up to the thing i did clean it up but i needed more napkins than i wait you had already cleaned it yes oh wow you better apologize to tammy on the way out i was just lucky that the coffee didn't actually spill onto the equipment because it just spilt onto like the side of the desk. But I tried my best in the time that I had with the napkins that I was given. But you had more time. Well, I was, I was panicked because I needed to get up here. I was late. It was a whole thing. I didn't know what to do. You're scared of me. Scared of the wrath of Kelty. Wow. I thought for sure it was

Kelty. It was me. I am a disgusting, like, yeah. Her calling card is like leaving remnants of things behind. Yeah. No, I mean, listen, I'm an honest person. I could have blamed it on Kelty. proud of you. Thank you for not blaming me. I'm proud of you for being honest. I'm not proud of what you did. I'm not proud of what I did either. So the topic of today's episode is adult pleasures. So every time I saw it on the calendar, I was like thinking about it was like porn. I know. Well then, yes, I have something to say about this too, but go ahead. No, no. So adult pleasures is, I feel like I got the idea from a Tik TOK or something, but then I Googled adult pleasures on TikTok and it's just how vibrators work. No, literally I was like, cause you said you had us

prep and email and you're like, it's a TikTok trend. So I was like, okay, well I'll go get some inspo on TikTok. Yeah. And everything is just about sex. So I'm like, where did you find this? I have no idea. I actually now was thinking I possibly originated it. I think I originated when we went to TJ Maxx. Yes. When we were leaving, I don't know where we were coming. Oh, a make up Christina's wedding in Orange County. Yep. Me, you, Chris and Zach all rode from Orange County back to LA together. And we were like, we have some time to kill. Let's grab some like a bite to eat. And then this like weird strip mall or whatever. And Kelty was like, Oh my God, there's a TJ Maxx. And it's going to be trifecta. It was a Marshall's TJ Maxx. Yes. You were so

excited. And you were like, and you screamed out the window adult pleasures. Yeah. And Zach was like that's so it sounds so creepy when she says that this is a perfect new hashtag because you know it's like sexy mature but like there's all the other posts along with your adult pleasures are going to be like soft core porn on instagram yes it's perfect like so an adult pleasure is so christina and i we you know she is a mom of two now and we have leaned into our stanley mugs it was her birthday right and so like in our 20s what did we get each other for birthdays like we got each other Betsy Johnson earrings and then later on we got each other Jason Mraz records and then later on we you know went to the spa and for her birthday this year I found a snack tray

that sits on top of your Stanley mug oh and it goes around so you can have like pretzels and chips and then also be on the couch with your Stanley mug and then they had a little Stanley mug straw stopper that is a little stanley mug oh that's cute so it like goes on the straw and i was like this is an adult pleasure like i'm so excited to give it to her we get it we're squealing we put the little plastic stanley mug stopper on the stanley mug adult pleasures oh my god wow that's not really what i was thinking i don't understand the snack around the stanley mug concept well like you fill your stanley mug with your water for me it's like a lot of iced tea or whatever and then you want to go sit on the couch and watch tv is it like a little but like who needs to hold the

stanley mug like a passy like just we put it on adults do it's just like adults do it's for people like healthy and you're at the game you're at the big game what game and who's allowing a stanley mug into a game not that kind of game you're like a kid's soccer game oh i was thinking about like a football or you could just hold a bag of chips like a normal person you could but It's more fun to have an adult pleasure. Okay, I'm yumming your yuck. I'm yucking your yum. I'm sorry.

I get it. It's the same people that like miniatures. Oh, yeah. You know? Yeah. It's not the same at all. Kind of. Kind of.

It's a miniature Stanley mug on the Stanley mug. Yeah, that's true. And you're squealing, so I'm so excited about it. Okay, I'm going to give you a couple examples, and then we'll get into your adult pleasures. A really good vacuum cleaner. Yeah. Like when you are a child or in your twenties, you're like, I don't care the thought of how good my vacuum cleaner is and it taking the dander from deep in the grain of my carpets

and pulling it out. And then like being so thrilled that when, when you're vacuuming and you just do one pass and everything in the trail is gone. Oh, it's so nice. I feel like you're going to church right now. It is. It's so satisfying. I just did a clean out under my oven.

Oh, God. It was so pleasurable. I can't even explain it. I kept throughout the day when I had done it, like looking underneath and observing how clean it was, just looking at my work. Like I did this. It was so satisfying. Well, one of mine. Because it's nasty.

One of mine I had on my list was getting a car wash. I'm like, that is something I never really cared about when I was younger. But having a nice car wash and you're looking under the seats and in the little crevices and everything is nice, no crumbs. I'm like, Zach hates that I won't go to a car wash. Why? I just find it to be a time suck. Do you wash your own car? No.

Do you just don't do anything? I wait until Zach sees it and thinks it's disgusting and takes it. Oh. My car is so nasty right now because I did spill coffee all over all my controls that my reverse button won't even press down. it's like gummy i have to like really strike it but i'm getting a new car anyway so oh that's she just waits for it to get so can i pitch you on the new hyundai kona is it great it's did you see what it looks like yeah i thought of you the whole time i drove it it is a beautiful vehicle really let me pull it up oh this is i'll do it for a later date what nothing okay my next one

is brussels sprouts an adult pleasure when you're a kid there was not when my mom was like you better sit here and eat these brussel sprouts and i was like no and now a brussel sprout is a delicacy if you get it right with the balsamic and they're like a little bit burnt well brussel sprouts never used to be a thing same thing with kale like they you know that like the biggest distributor distributor of kale until like 10 years ago was pizza hut and they used it as like the thing that they put underneath their salad bar like they never even used to eat it it was Just for like a garnish. So kale has, it's the same thing as Brussels sprouts.

Same with Brussels sprouts. What did they use those for? Well, I just don't know. I just don't think people eat Brussels sprouts the way that we eat them today. Interesting. I think they. Nobody was doing a balsamic glaze and some goat cheese. No, you're right, you're right, you're right.

Who invented that? I want to meet that person. I want to shake their hand. My thing is broccoli. Broccoli is my favorite vegetable. I love broccoli. I love it. And maybe one of my favorite foods.

Me too. And I don't know why it got such bad rep when we were younger. Because it sort of tastes like a fart. I love it. But I could eat, like, you know those broccoli bags that you steam in the microwave? Oh, yeah. Steamed broccoli is the best. That was my girl dinner.

Is it girl lunch or girl dinner? Girl dinner. I have a mortifying story about that, too, but I'm going to save that for good week, bad week. Girl dinner. Girl dinner. Girl dinner. That used to be my girl dinner.

I would steam broccoli, then I would pull it out, and then I would put a ton of cheese on it. Yes. Me, too. And, like, a spray butter, because, God, I love spray butter. i love i can't believe it's not butter what the day is that my girlfriend's like canola oil and salt isn't it better better than that isn't it just better well no because you can't spray a butter yeah i can't spray butter i guess you could you melt it and whatever whatever you know

the day i was at my friend sarah's house in new york city when we were next city dancers and she realized that it had 60 calories per three sprays instead of 60 calories per whole bottle was like such a sad dick you know we're gonna be weighed every week to be nicks and dancers she's like what do you mean it's 60 calories she's like spraying that shit it is calteen bar yeah it's crazy okay the lady gang um receiving clothes as gifts is an adult pleasure depends on the clothing i would say maybe not clothing but a pajamas to me like a good pajama you don't want anyone to buy you clothes no no no or a nice candle as an adult pleasure yeah expensive candle yeah you know who just had the coolest thing ever this is a real adult pleasure

elena our elena had one of those candle warmers what is that it looks like a really chic desk lamp and you turn it on and it heats the candle so you don't actually have to light the candle in order for the aromas of the candle to fill the room. So it heats the wax with the light or whatever and then just disperses. I feel like my mom got those from Avon when we were like... Yeah, I'm sure it's like a remix of an...

Yeah, MLM. I'm sure, but hers was very chic and she got it on Amazon. I messaged her. I was like, where'd you get this? I need this adult pleasure. I need this adult pleasure. We should do an Amazon list, a gift guide. that's just called adult pleasures. I love this. Um, okay, Jack, what's some adult pleasures?

Um, what is it? Well, this isn't like a thing, but an adult pleasure to me is when you had plans with somebody and then they cancel before you cancel because you wanted to cancel, but then you felt bad and then they canceled. Like that is pleasure to me. So good. my one that i recently discovered was after going out to a dinner or a thing anytime i have to go out of my house when the sun is down it feel it makes me feel dirty and grimy when i get home and so i get in the shower even if i just wash my hair two hours before to go to this dinner i will wash my hair i will wash my whole body and it's almost like i'm cleansing myself of the energy that I took in at that thing from people and then I like do my whole I do a very luxurious

shower yeah to get into bed and I am like this is a spa this is the greatest feeling ever I had showers on mine just showers and showers because like when you're a kid you never want to shower and I'm like I take two showers a day minimum because I'm the same like every time I go to bed I want to be like a little baby seal and then I also had on my list is getting into bed with fresh sheets oh pleasure nothing you just showered and exfoliated and moisturized and then getting into like nice warm clean sheets nothing better also when you finish something i finish a body wash a shampoo like some sort of product in the shower and you get to take that and throw that away you feel like you like empties empties it's like even though i know it means i have to spend

more money and buy the new thing. I'm just, I don't know. It's like such a good feeling. Empties are an adult pleasure too, because it's like you were good with your money. You actually enjoyed something so much that you want to buy it again. It's like you feel productive and feel like you're financially responsible. I've never felt more like I made it in life than when I finished a lip sleeping mask. I was like, hold the phone. Well, then I was like, are they testing on animals i need to do some research because i think they might be but i could i finished my lip sleeping mask and i was like you know because when you buy a lip sleeping mask you're like what kind of person am i like am i someone it's just a glorified it's a bomb bomb it's fine i don't

think there's anything sleepy in there no but my museum but like you know when you're at sephora and you're like what kind of person am i yeah like i know i'm a trash human and i know i'm like what spray tan am i using like what makeup and you buy the nice makeup but you know i've never finished a charlotte tilbury palette in my life well the bronze and glow yeah but not like the eyelash i i make up because i don't even wear eye makeup most of the time you know but like when i was like i'm gonna be the kind of person that has a bedtime routine and i you know i put my silk pillowcase on i read my book and i and i put my lip sleeping mask on and my eye nighttime night night eye and then like some cuticle oil like i am so good at taking care

myself i felt so proud when i finished that lip sleeping mask it was like the same as getting an emmy i swear to god i thought you're gonna say enema that too that too that's an adult when i had the fucking enema was it an enema at your house the little yeah didn't you squeeze yours is just water up it's the bulb yeah you did the bulb or you did my can that hangs on the shower no oh what a reusable one yeah they have yeah i have a new one um because i tried to do the coffee enema um which is great by the way and it would work for you that's not where my poop sits my poop sits at the top of my stomach you don't even know i this is not a pooping podcast we're gonna i need to have a digesting expert on that's not how your insides work but anyway you need to

hydrate them and then it's anyway i sorry go ahead back to your enema i'm hanging i'm hung up on literally you hanging up so you have it you have a can it's like a paint can and you fill it you have to boil the coffee. It's special coffee. And then you boil it like a soup. And then when it cools down, you put it in the can and then you hang it like on a coat rack and then you put it up your butt. How often are you enemaing? Well, I don't often, and I honestly actually use that bucket mostly to water my plants downstairs. That's what I was thinking of it being like a plant watering can. But, um, you know, I enema when I, you can feel you need it and I haven't needed a while because i'm using slippery gogo from dr s my nutritionist and and changed my diet

a lot so i'm actually much better than i was so really it's a water congrats thank you well yeah the little bulb enema for me was a real adult pleasure yes yeah um cereal for dinner is an adult pleasure god cereal is underrated i do not have it enough what a great soup it's such a good soup i love it it's pretty good it's good they just banned a few cereals from the united states i'm like debbie downer since you became a mom you know all the toxic things no it's the people i follow on instagram it's like you gotta stop following them i know it is helpful though because it's like frost is it not for us i like to live in ignorance i guess the only i guess it's it's not that helpful because it's like i'm not here eating bowls and bowls and bowls of any of these

things so like it's not gonna affect you it's not gonna moderation is key true moderation is key um learning a new language so i had to take two years of french in school and i hated my i can't even tell you what i said to him in the hallway it was the meanest and i got you guys i got um if you can believe this i got what's it called when you get kicked out of school suspended or i got suspect two-day in-school suspension where they put you in the cell um or the cubicle the cubicle thing Becca's like I know very well my name is carved into because I told off my French teacher

because I was an A honor student and I had a 42% in French some brains are not just meant to learn new languages languages are hard to learn after a certain age but it's an adult pleasure because learning Spanish has been one of the funnest things in my life and I used my French when we went

to your wedding and I had a fast talk French book and I remembered a lot of my French because I can read a lot of French just because in Canada the signs are in French and English so I was like oh go that way you know anyway adult pleasure I wouldn't know anymore the fact that I bought myself for Christmas a whole house organization by a professional that is nice is it really like what if you like organizing is it it's it's the next level because what it is is even if you think you're even if you're good at organizing it's actually even more valuable because

they come in and they create systems and they, they put together the most beautiful containers, shelves, blah, blah, blah. So like you, I didn't even know that my kitchen could have, could have these things, these like pockets of things for things and special. Cause you know, sometimes it's just like one big open space. So then they come in and create like little spaces within the big spaces, which is what I cannot do. And nor do I want to go like walk around measuring things and making sure so that to me is like it if Zach had pulled up with a new car in the driveway with like a bow on it for Christmas it would have been less thrilling to me than this experience of organizing my entire house every drawer every closet every room

everything you know I did I followed the home edit system when I did my bathroom and it's the it's kept my whole bathroom my bathrooms are usually like just stuff everywhere it's kept my whole bathroom. What is their system? It's like a specific thing. It's like spaces for everything. Yeah. So it's like skincare is here. Body care is here. Pins, baubles, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. You know, amazing. Okay. Um, other things. Oh, last one. People thinking that you're younger than you are. Oh, you know, when you were like 19 and people were like, what are you like 16? And you're like, no bitch, I'm 22. But you weren't. Yeah. Now when people are like, you're definitely in your thirties. I'm like, Oh my God, thank you so much. That is an adult pleasure.

Nothing makes me happier than that. But then I don't really believe people. You think they're lying? Well, I don't know. Cause I tell people they look young when they don't, you don't, I've gotten some crazy ones. Like I remember 17. No, there's this kid at the airport, a guy who wasn't a kid. Cause he was working at like the wine shop when my mom and I went to Europe and he looked at my ID. He's like, I thought you were 23. And I was like, 23. that's so nice that's the nicest thing but i'm like he has to be lying that's 13 years younger than i am you do look young but it also could have been the outfit you're wearing sometimes you dress like a toddler at the airport but i do i do do that on purpose too to look young i'm like

a 36 year old couldn't possibly could never dress like this could never dress like this troll or act like this it's true and be buying nine bottles of wine no one could ever handle that hangover that has to be a college student well lady gang we want to know what your adult pleasures are Yeah. So if you're watching this on YouTube or video, leave us a comment, tell us what your adult pleasures are. Um, send us an Instagram and we want to, we're going to post the best ones, but I think this is an amazing new hashtag because someone did write me. If I have to hear sexy mature one more time, I'm going to, you mean on the podcast on the live? Yeah. They're like, please stop talking about it. I'm like, okay. So it was just one person. So it's like, you know,

if more people want me to stop saying sexy mature, then please write me a mean email. but now you know I think Adult Pleasures will take over for this new season I am excited about it okay we weren't here

for a long time we're here for a pleasurable time ooh Adult Pleasure thanks for listening The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber

Will Sterling Steve Delameter and Jared Monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends

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