LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Allegedly Wassa Happening is Weird Shit

Episode Date: October 15, 2020

Things are certainly about to get weird around here. Would yo ever marry a tree? Should Jac have made a a viral chip-sandwich Tik Tok? How much would you charge to rate a man's package? Plus, fast food hacks that may change your life. Healist: Head to www.healistnaturals.com/LadyGang to sign up and get your free sample today! Ritual: Visit www.ritual.com/ladygang to get 10% off during your first three months! Rothys: Check out all the amazing shoes and bags available right now at www.rothys.com/ladygang See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to The Lady Gang. I am back here with Jack and Kelty.

Hello. Welcome to Weird News with The Lady Gang. This is a new quickie segment because one of my favorite things that we have not done with Lady Gang in a while is weird news. And it has been so popular in the past. And the truth is, is that the news is horrific. Like everything is bad. And then the celebrity news is pretty boring because it's like- It's just everyone who's pregnant. That's it. It's pregnancies and births. Right. That's it. And what happens is like even the fashion, like I look at all the galleries online, it's just like everyone's in a mask. It's like everyone's

hair's long and has lots of roots. Like it's just not a glamorous time in Hollywood. So I was very, very, except for Becca and her new Dr. Diamond face. She looks amazing. I do. Bitch. So there's so much great weird shit happening during COVID that I was like, this is absolutely insane. And so this first one is for you, Jack. Yes. There is a woman and her name is Maddie Goetz and she basically got super viral famous off being Jack Vanek. What does that mean? She does food videos and she basically did a burger like Jack video. So she takes the burger, she gets sauce on the side. This is how Maddie eats her burger. Sauce on the side, you take some of the fries, you stick them in the sandwich normally, like where chip would go or whatever. And then the dips are on

the side. You dip it in the sauce and then you dip the sauced side of burger in the potato chips and eat it. And that's how she does her burger. And I feel like this is so close to the Jack sandwich that all this time you've been avoiding TikTok, you could have been famous for jacking the burger. So she puts fries in the burger and then also chips. So it's like a double potato surprise yes double potatoes that would make my psoriasis flare up like nothing else on this planet so many nightshades yeah 4.6 million views of this burger eating i mean to be honest there's so much shit that goes viral on tiktok that this is something that deserved to go viral so i applaud this bitch and i'm really pissed that i didn't think of it first because the only viral video

I've had is writing the Stoos yes on a piece of paper. So I could have used something with a little bit more substance. Yes. That's why we know TikTok is just meaningless. Okay. Next story. Ready for this? Ready. Okay. So a factory has been caught washing, recycling, and reselling over 300 000 used condoms to unsuspecting members of the public this is why i don't use condoms that is so devastating the owner of the factory said that she had been where are they finding that ride the condoms before selling them to unsuspecting members of the public sorry where are they finding these used condoms? Yes. Where do you get them? It did not say in the article, but we could launch a lady gang investigates on this topic. This seems like an investigative topic

because I am confused about that. So you're using them in the comfort of your own home, probably throwing them into the trash. So then are people going through your trash to find your condoms? Or is there like a condom recycling mart where she's giving you 10 cents when you bring back a condom? Well, this is going to be like the Coke can holders. Like now everybody's going to need to cut their condoms in half after they use them so that they don't get resold to the public. What if there's leftover? I didn't know where you're going there with the Coke can. I was like, the Coke can, what? The plastic on the Coke can. What if there's extra stuff on the condoms that they don't get off all the way? That's why they're washing them, Jack, silly. But that they don't get

off all the way. It seems like they were doing a good job. Residue. I'm sure it's pretty easy to clean with the right chemicals and it probably makes it less potent, the rubber. Yeah, it's probably like cutting holes through the rubber. It's bad on all levels. And what if you are getting a condom where like a crazy person has put a hole in it, you know, poked the hole in the condom? Are they inspecting them? No, I don't know. Quality control? I don't know if there's like a quality control. Are there returns? We don't know. So many things. It's very exciting. Okay, I'm very excited to announce that the mom of two in the UK, Kate Cunningham, who married a tree, has celebrated her first wedding anniversary with the tree. And she admitted that her 15-year-old son is a little embarrassed.

A little? i need to she changed her name from kate cunningham to kate elder because she married an elder tree oh my god is this as a joke is she doing it for a joke no she's serious she loves this if she's sexually attracted to the tree that's my one biggest i don't know if there's any rub nation on a tree but honestly would you rather have a man or a tree because there are some aspects where you rub yourself against something and it feels great there's no world i've never done a tree a tree very splinters in your private areas not on a beautiful alder they're so silky i i did google her she has very carol baskin vibes just for anybody wondering um the photo

shoot is very colorful yeah she looks happy you know she's wearing a lot of beaded bracelets she loves this tree i mean listen there's so many shitty men out there the tree county can't be as shitty as all the travises out there you know would you rather travis or tree jack tree becca travis i'm picking tree too so tree wins when we come back hi i'm barbara aka your nursing educator on instagram i'm a registered nurse and i make content that's all about helping nursing students thrive. One of the first and easiest things I tell nursing students, if you haven't already done so, upgrade your scrubs to figs. Out with these stiff boxy scrubs, in with the ridiculously comfy well-designed figs that were specifically designed with us in mind. They're

super soft, lightweight, and breathable with four-way stretch and moisture wicking fabric that keeps up during long shifts. Pockets are exactly where you need them, the fit feels modern and tailored, and they hold their shape wash after wash. Whether you're in class, at clinical, or working the floor you deserve scrubs that work as hard as you do go to where figs.com and use code figs ca for 15 off your first order that's where figs.com code figs ca back i'm going to teach you how to save money the lady gang all right we're back there's a woman on instagram who i've discovered her name is l well she goes by l brookso and she basically gave the greatest McDonald's hack of all time. So, you know, when you really want a frappuccino or an expensive

Starbucks drink and with all the adding and latte and supersizing it, it turns out to be like $8 and you're like, wow. And then all the money managers were like, give up your Starbucks every day and you can get a house or we'll let it go. All those rules. Okay. So here's what she hacks. You go to McDonald's, you order a vanilla milkshake. It is $2.99. Then you get a shot of espresso, which they'll give you, like McCafe, $0.99. It's $4. You put them together, Frappuccino. Boom. Wow. $2.99. But like- It's not exactly a Frappuccino. It's ice cream. It's a delicious- That's a coffee milkshake. It's a delicious treat. It's a coffee milkshake. I mean, it does sound delicious. I would go get that right now. I don't know that McDonald's served

espresso shots. I think it's like they have the ability to, but it's like off menu. Oh, it's like a secret menu. All the girls in the lady gang check it out and see what it's like. But also I was just thinking how delicious it would be if you got their big McCafe and then you got a milkshake and you half, half like split with friends. So each of you took half the coffee and half the milkshake. I feel like that is delicious and I'd love to try it with one of you soon. That's going to go against my entire life where I've been like, I'm not an ice cream

person. Like I just don't crave it. I'm not an ice cream person. But then every time I have a milkshake, I'm like, I love ice cream. but I cannot, I cannot become the person that quote loves ice cream. I had a milkshake last night. Cookies and cream milkshake from Shake Shack. Delicious. Yep. Oh, cookies and cream Shake Shack from, it's the greatest one that they make. Unbelievable. I once drank a huge McDonald's vanilla milkshake on the way to dance at a bar mitzvah on Long Island in early 2000.

did you have the shits i had explosive diarrhea the entire bar mitzvah and i kept getting in trouble for going to the bathroom i thought they thought i was being lazy which obviously if you know me i would never be at the performance um but i would be like doing a grapevine and like shitting my pants the whole oh my god wow jona i am i want a milkshake now okay so good yeah do Wait, do you guys eat In-N-Out? Have you had their new spicy nuggets? They're amazing. Yeah, they're so good.

Are you kidding me? Oh. Zach and I get in, not In-N-Out, get Shake Shack like once a week usually. So do I. I've discovered that I can have a, like I need a burger once a week. Not I can have. Yes. I need one once a week.

And the craving always comes back. And it's usually a Shake Shack. Shake Shack. When they sponsored our tour, like I would, they would bring those, they would bring all the shaker. The platter. And like I would, nine times out of 10, I would eat one and a half to two burgers every single time. Well, because they are smaller. They're smaller than an In-N-Out. So you could have two

and we are eating those at like 10 AM. It's true. Oh, also hot tip that I shared with Kelty yesterday. The Impossible Whopper is the only burger I've ever eaten where I felt like it was filling enough to eat without fries. Oh, I also theory. Okay. Well, I can't, I have to have a fry. No, just, just simply for like your satiation, whatever. Like I'm also the impossible. They have an impossible breakfast sandwich now at Starbucks. That is the best breakfast sandwich I've ever had in my entire life. It is so good. So good. Maybe we need impossible to come on as our sponsor. impossible whopper maybe that should be our sponsor burger king this is getting so after this conversation there's an off menu hold up there's also a

secret off menu item at taco bell that everybody's supposed to be trying they have a like vegan taco which is like a mushroom concoction and apparently it's really lit what do you how do you order it the vegan taco just like you do with any kind of Secret menu. You say- But what's it called? I think the vegan taco. I don't know. We can probably Google this too. Hold, please. In the meantime, I'll let everyone know a big story. So this is another UK story. Over in the UK, there's a man who's been called Britain's dullest man. And his name's Kevin Bershkaford.

Okay. And he started something called the Roundabout Appreciation Society, and he's just unveiled the International Roundabout of the Year. Do you know what a roundabout is? No. Graphic circle? Oh, yes. So he goes around the world and he looks for junction perfection.

That's his J-O-B. And once a year, he names the International Roundabout of the Year. And I feel like this is proof that there is someone for everyone. Is this an actual job that he gets paid for, or is he just self-describing himself as this thing, and he's doing it as like a hobby? I was unable to find the financial records of the Roundabout Appreciation Society, but yes, I feel like this is something that would take quite a long time. He's been at it for 17 years.

Wow. wow is he married has he found his his perfect roundabout wife or husband i don't know everything about everything jack so i don't know i just i have so many questions i know did you find it becca no i can't find anything it's that secret wow okay so someone go and try becca go try today um we just did a cleanse so okay i'll do it i would shit my brains out if i had taco bell right now. My bowels are sensitive. Sensitive. Okay. There's a woman who is charging. She's a sex educator and lifestyle person. She's charging $28 to rate men's private parts and she gives honest feedback. She's 33 and she advises her male clients on how to improve their love lives

based on the shape and size of their pecker. You guys, this is genius. I know. That's why I said I'm like, damn it. This sounds like something we would have been really good at. I don't want to look at weird dicks all day. I do. I think it's so fun. Not for $28. $28 a pop? You could bust through those. Give them like 30 second advice. My friend who was a part-time madam at a brothel in Australia, because it's legal or was, she said that every guy that came through, she had to inspect their wiener with like a light to make sure they didn't have any lesions or things on it. Is this the bossy Aussie? Yes. We know her Donna. So she said they would have to go through a fluorescent light, like under the, put their dicks under it. And they,

that was what this reminds me of. I feel like Donna would be an incredible dick inspector. What if you called it Donna, the dick inspector? Oh my God. Detective. I have, I have a question. Do you have any more information about this Kelty? it? Nope. That's it. Do they do it via like text message? Is it like a dick pic sending thing? Or are they doing it in person? Right now it's definitely virtual. Definitely virtual. But is she like put it next to a Coke can so I can see for size? That's the thing, dude. Some guys are not good at, some guys are too, like too good at taking a dick pic and then some of them are not like that. It's hard to inspect if you can't see it in real life. Right. And it's like when Chris

takes a picture of me, if he takes it from his level down, I'm small. If he takes it, if I make him get on the ground to make me look. It's all about angles. Guys, I really think I need some sort of like perspective thing that I could do. Like, don't you ever just want to be able to like look at somebody who has your exact same body to be able to like know what you look like in the world so that you can get over your like weird hangups? Because I feel like it would mostly be positive. Yes. Should there be a place that you can go that you can do a 3D scan of your body and then they can show you? And then you can look at somebody else wearing the clothes or the bathing suit or something and be like, oh. Yeah. I would really appreciate this technology because

I think I'd be nicer to myself. I like that because I'm so hot. Well, it's because it's like if you ask someone to take a picture of you and you're wearing a bathing suit, like one could be incredible and the rest could be dog shit and you could feel like shit about yourself the whole day. Yeah. Well, that was always my problem. I would like hyper-focus on like the bad pic and then think that that was what I looked like all the time. And now you post the bad pic. Now I post it. I am not brave enough to do what you do, Jack. Like the other day I was thinking about it and I was like, there is no world in which I could ever post a bad photo of myself in a bathing suit. It's liberating. I have to tell you. And then I'm not as scared to have bad

pictures taken of me. It really is. It's like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I still, I can't, I can't do it. I will say this is that the difference between your, I posed and like bad picture is so great. Like there's, it's like, you're not even in the same picture. Like it's really monumental. The issue for me is that the space between like my horrific picture and like my greatest picture is so small. Same, same, same. But that's good. So close. Like, yeah, but it, it airs on the bad side, you know? So it's like, in your mind, it airs on the bad side. The good never goes to like supermodel legs like you, like your good pictures are so incredible because your goddamn legs are so long. No, it's not that it's because I know

how to work an angle no i'm sorry we've talked about this before angle this bitch over here with a thick middle and a short leg there is no angle in a bathing suit that is gonna do me justice i've worked all the angles i am the angle sorry i know i don't have a thick middle i know i know that i'm being a dick right now but i do have a short leg and nobody can fight me on that okay one of the shortest in all the land. I have never noticed that. I mean, relatively speaking to other women, I have never had a pair of pants I didn't have to f***ing hem or cuff. On that note, one final story. Okay. So this woman had a wedding, right? And she printed out the card and for the RSVP card, I want to know if you think this is smart or stupid. The RSVP was like,

Yes, I harvest, repeat. And when you're picking what food you want, it comes with a price. So here's what you get. The first level loving gift gets a guest, you're coming to the wedding and you get a dinner of roast chicken or swordfish. And that is $250 per person. And this is what the guest has to pay for? Yeah. So she's like, I want to know what money you're giving me as a gift for the wedding upfront. What if you're like, I'm going to give you 50 bucks? Is she like, here's a Kit Kat? You're not able to come to the wedding. Is the minimum 250 bucks? 250 is the cheapest. The silver gift will set you back. It's 250 to $500 and you'll get any of the above options, roast chicken or swordfish. And then you can

also choose from sliced steak and poached salmon. This is awful. The gold level, just 500 to 1,000. A thousand? You can have any of the above meals as well as filet mignon or lobster tails. Now, if you're feeling very fancy, you could always gift $1,001 to $2,500 and you're going to dine on a two pound lobster while drinking from a souvenir champagne goblet. Wait, here's what really chaps my ass. She's upcharging. So it's not even like she's like, this is what your plate is going to cost me to entertain you. It's like she's literally making money from her wedding. No, this is the gift. Like you don't bring a salad spinner. This is disgusting. Yeah, I know. That's a no for me, dog.

What do you normally give as a gift at a wedding? The registry. That's the point of a registry. Yeah. And people who have a registry and a honey fund or whatever it is always do the honey fund because really they're just trying to not be tacky by having the registry. But what they want is cash. Everybody wants cash. Yeah. Everybody wants cash. So maybe cash, even if there is a registry, right? I mean, I love a registry and I always feel happy to know it'll be something in your house. And I've also given cash and it, you know, it's just like, whatever. Jews give cash. That's, that's like the jam. But I also love the weddings when they do that, like cash on the body dance with the bride. Isn't that, um, um, our makeup artist, Christina, they do that at her

wedding. Cause she's Armenian, right? Yeah. And you like go, I mean, get a safety pin and then you pin a 20 to the dress anyway we have to go anyway so don't invite us to our weddings that we have to pay for or in general that food you know sucks too and not even marrying a tree enjoy your frappuccino mcfrappuccino somebody tell us what the taco bell thing is yes please love you we weren't here for a long time we were here for a cheap time bye lady gang is produced by alex inberg will sterling and steve delamater make sure that you rate and review this podcast where you listen to it please it makes a huge difference and also subscribe so you never miss an episode and if you really love the episode we want to hear from you on our social media channels at

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