LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: An UNBELIEVABLE Proust Questionnaire

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

We’re going through more of our Proust Questionnaire questions. What words do you use that you hate using? Like…like. Or tight. And Keltie's using a thesaurus to help her stop saying “unbelievable" while hosting the parade. You’ll be awe struck. Plus, a little positive encouragement to help you through this craziness! Thank you to this episode's sponsors! Personna – Go to amazon.com/personna and enter code GOO DWEEK for 25% off your order!  Daily Harvest – Go to dailyharvest.com and enter code LADY for $25 off your first box.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

it's time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek let's make this quick hello hello hello and welcome to the lady gang quickie i am becca here with jack and kelty virtually here with jack and kelty my god it was just as hard the second time as it was the first time trying to set the shit up half the amount of time it felt just as hard only 16 minutes of horrific setup for us to technically be able to i'm just in a i hate everything are you okay i'm good i'm sick of teaching i'm just sick of teaching myself new skills i don't want any more new skills thank you becca i don't i never asked to be an audio engineer i never asked to be a

lighting person i don't you guys i think with this the problem is that i'm somehow the expert of this situation right now and i know nothing but i'm the one that's somehow teaching us everything and i know shit it's scary it's just it's just going downhill it's like when we have to depend on jack for the worksheet on how to we're it's not good totally we're totally i'm sorry guys that's why i don't think that it's never gonna be a nice you know two minute setup we always got to have a buffer of 25 minutes before we actually do anything and how did you get made the like owner it's by penile insertion like from jared yes like that's how you became the expert we just decided because you're a current musician not a past musician not someone

who likes music because you're someone who's actually playing music still as a career you became the audio engineer I feel like I'm getting that talent through the sexual intercourse but then it really isn't translating in the way that I would have liked it to so I don't really get the point well you're gonna have to take it in the butt maybe that's it I wouldn't know it's going to be the next answer oh god can i get a week update from everyone like just what did you do this week is there really anything different um you're a big slurper kelty i know you need to not be doing that it's disgusting people with that what is it misophonia or whatever yeah that's really gonna people up i'm sorry and you know what you did it kelty you're not even talking into your

mic right now you're talking like over to the side but when you're taking a sip you're doing it right into the mic it's true she wants you're talking over like this but then you're sipping like sick she just put a straw in it good call what are you doing two drinks um i'm drinking a protein smoothie and a cup of tea because i just i can't even i can't i can't i just can't i think I talked about this last week, but I've been trying so hard to be healthy and my vitamins are making me so nauseous. So then I got a whole bunch of vitamin creams. So my whole life is just me trying to figure out which of the 25 vitamins is making me sick and then finding it in a cream or a liquid paste. And I'm like putting all these cream vitamins on my wrists because that's where

you're supposed to put it. And then I'm like, you know, the amount of shit that's in my spray tanner like i can't be putting vitamin b on a wrist and then also putting like the carcinogen which is like my spray tan like i'm just i'm we're all i gotta be honest we're all we really are are you taking zinc you know zinc is the one that makes you like totally nauseous no i'm taking like i i'm taking so many things i mean i have a bujo page i can show you but no thank you um i had to make a bujo page where it's three little squares every single day because i have morning vitamins lunch vitamins and night vitamins and like so far i've only done it correctly like twice and i've been at this the whole month so like i'm even letting myself down

you know it's bad when i don't even get excited about it the bujo you know we have a sponsor that their whole thing is one vitamin for all of your needs you could do that i take the ritual thank you i do actually take the ritual as part of my night time i take the wellness but i need other things because i have extra low iron and i need like thyroid things at energy i'm taking like licorice anyway this is so boring but i i do take my ritual which is like my omegas and the like you know all of that i that's every night and i like it because it's a little minty and then i go to kiss chris and i'm like don't brush my teeth still got my discussion oreo cookie in there from flash net. Are you guys still like, like, do you still like Zach, Becca? I actually

do. I mean, that's the, I was on the phone with a girlfriend yesterday. What I started doing, if anybody needs to do this, she and I like, we're both like on just on the end of our ropes. And so we got on a call and we went for a walk. We each went for a walk in our neighborhood and talked on the phone. It was almost like walking with a friend. And what I said to her was, I feel very fortunate because I hate so many people right now. I hate so many of my friends. I hate so many people that I follow on social media, but I don't hate my husband. So that's the upside.

I would much rather feel this way. I'd much rather hate all my friends and like my husband. so and i was actually wanting to murder my husband before the quarantine so this has been good for the marriage that's actually very shocking because usually when you spend 24 hours a day with somebody endlessly i mean i have a problem every time jared and i even go on a vacation me just spending time with one person and just one person whoever it is it could be you don't say only child i can't spend time with just one other person i need a couple people in the mix yeah so for me because i'm at my parents house like having anybody else around even if i

didn't like the third person but just another energy around really keeps things from spiraling in my mind yeah see my problem is that even though we have like i'm we're so lucky because we have this large, lovely house, you know, multiple rooms. So Chris can go to his room. I can go to my room, but really all the energy of our house is our kitchen. And so Chris and I have a fundamental disagreement on when you should clean the kitchen mess in meal prep. I am a clean as you go so that when you sit down to eat, the only thing that's left is possibly the ketchup on the table and then your plate knife fork and napkin like everything else has already been wiped clean so you're when you finish eating you're in the dishwasher and then you're on

your way chris is blow the whole thing up like a tornado there's like the pan that the turkey was in and you just sit it and then like it's just shit everywhere the counters are a mess and then go back to work for five hours and let it all sit there and seep into the world of your kitchen and then come back to it later to clean it yeah that's zach too i think that's just men yeah i don't think many men actually clean as they go though jared does clean as he goes for the most part but he also is the one that cooks and bakes and shit and i don't know what the f**k i'm doing so i think he it's the very role reversal e like we're in quarantine so if you take your f**king egg pan and you put it in the sink and you put soapy water in the pan because you're like gonna get to it

who the f**k else is gonna clean it the only other option is me yeah you either i i actually have a whole thing like i it drives me insane when we'll cook a big meal and zach will just put everything into the sink like he doesn't even attempt to clean anything it just goes all in the sink so then when i have to go separate hand washing from dishwashing i'm climbing through but like so many things through the sink i'm like just leave them on the side of the sink so the sink is free for me to wash it in like it's just so it's it's mind-blowing to me how differently men and women think like i'm about to bring him paper plates yeah oh not a bad idea just make sure that they're uh do uh whatchamacallit yeah do paper plates go with your your 2020 vision kelty of

no waste or whatever the hell you're doing i'm on a no plastic not a no waste there is waste you could do a um what's the word for it biodegradable biodegradable based yeah okay all right when we come back we're gonna do some of the proust questions that we didn't get to when everyone really loved because they were like you're so serious you're so thoughtful and we're like we've always been thoughtful we just put a poop joke okay coming back the hell the lady dead and we're back do you want to start with something light like which living person do you most despise i don't care where we start should we skip that it's a too mean i have so many right now yeah okay what is the quality this is a good one what is the quality you like most

in a man dishwashing just kidding that i like most in a man confidence big one but but not cockiness no confident but not arrogant that's a good one see moxie um the con or the quality that i like most in a man is somebody that doesn't take themselves too seriously oh yeah the thing that i hate most in a man is when they think that their shit don't stink and that they're like the most serious person in the world and can't like crack a joke at themselves i hate that i hate that what are the words or phrases that you you overuse are you not going to answer kelsey

she did sure moxie right i like a moxie i also like a confidence and the question was not what do you hate the most that you just made that up you just added that in that's not part of the questionnaire that's okay whatever um what was the what was the next question what words or phrases do you over use phrases do you overuse oh my god i say like i hate myself so much versus how much i say like i really thought that we have gotten better at that until i actually listened to an episode i haven't i'm it's like terrible yeah that's just our generation though yeah we won't even know um i use i say things are tight all the time and dope and other stupid californian lingo tight that reminds me of being in eighth grade dude's good time

you remember when it was like an insult and you're like hey yes it was like yes because everything upside down in canada maybe i i believe and the canadians could back me up on this that when you were like in that era when some of the class started having sex and you weren't having sex yet the girls that were having sex were like loved because they were like oh yeah guys like just mostly because people could fuck them and the girls that weren't they were like you're so tight it's like being frigid no no but that means right vagina like you have a tight vagina like you don't sleep around which guys are like yeah she's so tight and then if you're they're describing you as loose then that's bad but neither of those make any fucking sense no i'm tight was like a new

it was a synonym for cool yeah like tight tight tight yeah sure tight bro okay i also think it had to do with vaginas but no no i mean it does not the way that jack uses it okay it's like surfer slang the word that i use too much is unbelievable in fact i once hosted the parade um and i used it like 22 times in two hours because i was so nervous that i couldn't think it was my first year i couldn't think of any describing words so i just kept being like this is unbelievable unbelievable chris when i finished i was like how did i do and he's like it was good and then we went to watch it and i was like i'm an idiot so the next year i printed out thesaurus.com like 50 describing words and I had them in front of me and tried to use

like all the words on the page and only as unbelievable ones and I think I still used it like nine times what was the weirdest one you used yeah what was the weirdest synonym I don't remember but I was throwing in some like crazy ones it's I'm awestruck like I would just like never say there's no way that you came up with that word it's just it's so captivating you know like look at that floats gumption you know i this reminds me of i was just uh reading an excerpt of somebody that's putting out a book recently and it makes me very happy that we did not have a ghostwriter for our book because it is so obvious when somebody uses a word that they don't normally use like awestruck i was awestruck right like we don't have any words in our book that are more

than five letters but that's just who we are true it's who we are i think becca might have a few like eloquent words but i for sure don't i would doubt that very much i have a few i barely broke a thousand on my sats chris has been playing this like word game to take his mind off work at the end of the night like to calm down and it's like one of those ones where it's like they give you letters and they're come up with all the words you can and i'm like cat tat i hate that game like i'm like oh my god and then the word is like the word is like bet and you're like how didn't i get that you're like god i can't even do three letter words you're like teb you're like but of course meat

and then when you have like a five letter you're like yes i got it anyway i'm talking about scrabble all right okay sorry um when and where were you the happiest i know exactly what is it i was uh when zach and i first started dating we took a road trip to big sir and we drove up the coast and we were blasting music and we were the windows were down and the sunroof was open and i just remember we were in that like butterfly stage of falling in love and it was like the first time that i had felt joy in like a really long time and i remember just being like oh my god somebody told me that like when you are happy like the world will change colors and it was like this weird thing it was like a you felt like it was like i was on drugs

but i wasn't i just said like 400 times god i hate myself um it was unbelievable it was unbelievable i was awestruck but i really felt like there was a shift a full-on shift because i'm not someone who feels joy often right so it was weird i thought i'd slipped lsd or something oh that'd be fun a secret lsd slip i would love it mine is completely different so uh all of my family lives on the East Coast. And when I was a kid, I used to go to the East Coast for like six weeks every summer and spend time with like my entire huge extended family. And on the West Coast, it's just like me and my parents. So I feel like my time when I'm the happiest is when I'm actually back East with all of my family. There's no feeling like that. Just being around

all my cousins and my aunts and uncles and seeing all the places that I grew up in when I was younger it's such a a comfort that i don't really feel often when i'm at home so cute so cute disappointed that neither of you said like when i was hanging with the lady gang no the gumption the gumption mine recently happened when i was at the sex shells um so every i thought you're gonna say the sex shop same um every time i've ever really been on vacation i'm always like in the middle of something or have a list and i'm prepping like i'm either recovering from a crazy year or like my mind is going into a crazy year and i was in the middle of the indian ocean we jumped off the boat actually chris didn't he was probably

on a conference call um i i was alone on my vacation to the sex shells and um in the indian ocean the salt is like really high i guess you float so easily like i'm not someone that can float in a pool um but something about the salt like it really makes you so buoyant and so i remember the water was like perfect it was a perfect day and i could just lay back in the water and it would hold me up and i went onto the beach i swam all the way to this beach it was really far by myself and everyone else was like either old or chris so no one else swam in and i was like on this beach this perfect sand beach where you there were no people you couldn't get there like by car and i laid in my white bikini on the beach and it was a perfect sand and then

the waves would come up and they would like come cover me like so sopping like just cover to my boobs and then go out. Like it would never hit me in the face. And I was like, I felt so one with earth. And I was like, I'm so content. Like I've never felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be at the right time. Wow. Wow. But I was like, earth, man. Earth. So unbelievable. It's so tight. tight earth you're tight okay next question sorry next question which talent would you most like to have um considering my uh situation with you two bitches i would like to be able to dance so i don't feel so left out all the time but in general i wish i had some sort of a musical bone what talent would you most like to have becca what talent would you most like to have

um i mean during this time in particular i do wish that i had a passion and a knack for cooking i just i just don't um otherwise i really wish that i could play a musical instrument expertly i just wish i had that musical bone because some people jared can play like 15 different instruments yeah and it'll pick up a new one and he can just play it apparently once you learn one nothing in me that has that i don't know jack i think it might be your attitude because um i always said i'm not a language person and i've begun immersing myself in spanish and now i am a language person so i tell me that you say any sentence like a full sentence oh i have a perfect one for you uh cueres cueres algo para beber do you want to drink where's the

drink said this last week where's the beer oh i did shit i'll give you a new one i'll give you a new one ask me what time it is okay or s good and i'll say son las son las uh son las i forget what 12 is hold on i gotta look at my book i'm not doing that well don't say don't say don't say oh my god you know more than me it's so embarrassing i do wait jack's frozen you guys wait wait wait wait we got her back okay to end this quickie i'm gonna read you the ultimate cheese ball move but i got a text today like you know the text change like like the chains pass this to eight people or whatever bullshit yeah like when we were when we were like a fiery death there was no death threat but oh it says there comes a time in your life when you walk away from

all the drama and the people who create it you surround yourself with people who make you laugh forget the bad and focus on the good uh love the people who treat you well pray for the ones who don't life is too short to be anything but happy falling down is part of life getting back up is living. So then the quote that followed that was, today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass the love on that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance,

praise and love there you go guys i have an ice cream headache who are you and what did you do with becca i know i thought that was gonna have like a funny ending or something i was gonna be like everything there's like there's no i needed to hear that because i've never been more negative in my life if you can imagine it's hard not to be it's a hard knock life wait i'm so proud of you but you're on an inspirational text chain i didn't write that i just read it this morning my friend joanna she sent it this morning and i woke up because yesterday i just was in such a bad mood oh wait sorry becca i don't think that you're coming through in zencaster cool and on that note we're ending this quickie we hate technology k bye

thanks for listening and make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast we have new episodes of lady gang every tuesday and thursday follow us on social media at the lady gang uh follow us personally at kelty most importantly at becca and at jack banik the lady gang network is produced by will sterling steve delamater kirsten woodward and elizabeth beckway thanks for rating and reviewing wherever you get your podcasts and tune in for new episodes every simple week hi i'm barbara aka your nursing educator on instagram i'm a registered nurse and i make content that's all about helping nursing students thrive one of the first and easiest things i tell nursing students if you haven't already done so upgrade your scrubs to

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