LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Best of GWBW #3

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

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It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, The Hollywood Girl Posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to The Lady Gang Quickie. It's me, Jack, again. We're doing something extra special for you. Yet again, it is part three of the best of our good week, bad week. Maybe you've been with us since the very beginning. Maybe you're just a new Lady Ganger, but we have had some pretty, pretty epic weeks and some pretty horrible weeks you will

never even begin to believe. So sit back, enjoy, and we love you guys. My good week is the other day, Jared and I got recognized at CVS. Not buying, not wart remover. No, it's not what I was buying. It was what they recognized us for. It wasn't for me. It wasn't for Jack VanEck. It wasn't for lady gang it wasn't for first degree it wasn't for the main this girl stopped us and she goes i know you guys from tiktok from the tiktok where he grew out his hair and she was so excited like we did i was going to pick up a prescription when i walked through she was like smiling at me i'm like i think she probably knows like a lady gang yeah yeah but i was like i'm not gonna go up to her because like what if i'm also wrong and

she's just a crazy person smiling at me so then i go and get my prescription we walk back and she stops us and she's like yeah yeah like the the tiktok where you grow his hair she's like that tiktok inspired me to make my boyfriend grow his hair and then shows us a picture of her boyfriend and his new hair grow no good yeah he looks great i mean i think every guy looks were you like please listen to lady gang podcast nope oh my god i didn't even introduce you would never she wasn't like jack or jared she was just like those couple these two hair looks great i mean you can't jared's hair is you can't know but you know who looks awful with hair zach martin awful is he growing his hair no oh when he had hair oh it like i think i saw a picture yeah it's true like i hope

ford loses his hair if he looks like zach you know what i mean and that is so rare so rare and he like he does look so good with a bald head yeah with the hair it's i wouldn't have not have married that man that's so funny damn i mean i probably would have who cares you're a savage seriously he wanted to be with you so you had to just like you know whatever take it well actually it can be healthy to track your life but i've changed my things to help me as a human not so much help my life like does that make sense i'm helping my microbiome more than i'm helping my career okay so i'm i'm tracking did i shit today number two that's what it says great word increase Chris reads my and you have you have shit today nope that was yesterday today no shit so far

waiting um aminos I feel like I can I just off off the bat this is problematic because that's gonna put so much weight on you shitting that you're gonna have anxiety about not being able to knock it off your bujo I know it's not about not having it knocked off my bujo there's been many weeks this I've been doing this for a while there's been many but I was going like nine days without pooping guys. Like it was like, yeah. And so when I went to the doctor, they're like, how's your digestion? I was like bad. So I'm really tracking it. Cause now I'm taking this thing. The great thing about my doctor, Dr. S is that all of his supplements and anything he gives you has like a, has a healing name. So it's like cafe gratitude. Kind of. So I'm taking medical

school. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Okay. Just checking. Incredible. Okay. So he's a doctor. He's a real doctor he's a real doctor in like a zillion ways okay what does that mean like he's a he's a real doctor and then has gone and done like all kinds of crazy other like expertise yeah anyway so he has this thing called like healthy go-go which is like essentially shit pills you know don't make you shit and it's the best shit pill i've ever taken can i get them yeah well i don't know now i don't know it feels like you were making fun of him so you know i'll let you know when i go Anyway. So number two, aminos. I have my key on aminos. Got to have my aminos every day. Greens. Got to have something green every day. Sweat. So instead of being like, I got to work

out, I'm now like, I got to sweat. So what is that? Is it taking Callie on a walk? Is it cleaning a closet? Like I can sweat in many different ways. Did I do something where I moved my body and was like active that day? Instead of like, did I do 80 pound weights for, you know, sauna? Now I have a sauna in my house. I know that's bougie, but I do. I'm trying every day. A protein. I got to have something that has protein in it. Pew, which is the personal emotional writing where you write for 12 minutes and then you burn

it. And then my pills. You have to write something every day to burn? Yeah. 12 minutes. What? You guys, I hate everything. I could write for four hours. So you write things like I'm so frustrated or

I'm scared of in the future or whatever. And you just like, you stream of conscious writing for 12 minutes and then you burn it. I don't do it every day. Honestly, like I got to be realistic. Like I'm getting twice a week, three times a week. When I first started, I was doing it every day. I don't have time for that. My good week is I am a stomach sleeper, like through and through, like nothing can stop

me from sleeping on my stomach. Until recently, I have trained myself to sleep on my back. Wow, JLo. I am now a back sleeper. How? Four pillows. I have to put two pillows down in the back and then I have two pillows on my side. So I'm in a little fortress and then I can lean back on one of them because we've talked

about how we need to like lean on stuff. So I lean on one and then I have my head on the other one and then I kind of like sleep like a corpse. But the problem is now I use all of our pillows on the bed and Jared has one, this flattest measliest pillow and you look at our bed and I have like my big fortress on one side and Jared has this little floppy pillow that's like 20 years old. Could not be more Jack Vanek. Welcome to be married to Jack Vanek.

Selfish party of one. And then Jared's like, oh, you're taking all the pillows. I was like, you can go buy yourself new pillows. I know you won't because you just don't do anything that's not like very like logical for your life. Actually, I appreciate this for you because I think women should be more selfish in their

relationships because if you weren't, you know, one would say that most women would go and purchase a pillow for their spouse because they'd feel so guilty about taking over the pillows yeah but no no no sir you're taking matters into your own hands and he needs to do the same i love you jared but this may be a good lesson for women that's true i mean i bought all those pillows they're from my apartment i was like go buy yourself a pillow no you won't men and he won't men won't do anything no in january i was like hey chris i'm

really sick and we had we're like gonna renovate our backyard i was like you need to be the the person i've done every other renovation look at the backyard guys we're having we're having a bridal shower very soon and we've got dead grass shit and a pool that's empty so you know i'm just men unless it's affecting their day-to-day no yeah life they cannot get move the ball down the court no anything that is like maybe like a little self-care or anything that's just a little it's it's not needed for survival it's like he won't do yeah i have to do it for him but he is sleeping very soundly on that one great and i'm like all that matters are you sleeping better so much better i don't know what it is and jared finds me every night because he goes to sleep after me he's

like you were passed out zonked out like a zombie on your back that's great yeah it's been amazing so highly recommend if you want to try it i know you're a stomach sleeper i do need to try it yeah just love smothering my face into that mattress i love squishing my face and giving myself those permanent wrinkles i'll just surgically fix them i know i am very pleased with the species of males lately the last couple flights that i've been on i have not even had to ask i've rolled my bag on and some guy stands and puts my bag in the overhead for me because he gets it down what yeah i've never had a man ever have that it's because we're real we're not hot i mean i'm not hot and this hasn't been happening to me at all until now so is it my mom vibes getting old

you look frail you look frail you look like you need help well i just want to say it's really really really nice so all of these healthy strong men out there like go put a woman's bag in the overhead compartment okay it's very nice but you know what especially it's crazy when i see like a pregnant woman on a flight or a woman with a baby yeah that doesn't get help putting a lot of times i've helped a woman get on the flight with a baby i'm like so many times the baby i'll take your bag yeah yeah that's so many times and then just men are just like standing around like assholes in a cargo short and flip-flop on a plane. Yeah. Amen. Sick. The lady gang. My bad week is that as you guys know, we did a gift guide this year. And one of the things on the gift guide was like this

leather harness, like leather daddy harness. Do you remember? I put it on like the couples, like to get it to spice up with your husband. And when I went on vacation, everyone was texting me and they're like, Oh my God, did you bring the nipple tassels? Did you bring the nipple tassels? i didn't i brought the leather daddy harness mom if you're listening to this turn it off i told you to turn this off um anyway i gave it to chris as a christmas gift on christmas eve it didn't slap i don't think he was into it what was his reaction he was like oh he was confused and i made a mistake i should have walked out in it because i think that would have been yeah wait exactly what what was it exactly again a choker of leather choker and then it has a big like clip on it

and then like a piece of leather that goes down between your um belt like tits and belly button and then a belt that goes behind you and on the belt tits on the belt is two leather handcuffs and the handcuff you connect the hand it's like a restrainty kind of a thing yeah yeah yeah okay like he's kind of into restraining me sometimes in different ways so anyway i really thought it would be a hit. I think I made a mistake. I should have just had him go and then come and maybe like on the bed in it. But instead I gave it to him and we had to put it together and then he had to put me in it. And I think he was just like not into it. And it was also like day five of the thing. So like we'd had so much sex with each other. Like, yeah, yeah, I know you're like,

can we go to dinner? I want to eat a bread roll. But like, anyway, so if you got that, cause I recommended it, I'm so sorry. And let me know if it worked for you. No, you just put it together alone. I mean, by yourself and get it on your body. It's not an ikea dresser you don't need your partner to do this i can like i can just imagine how much it kills the mood when you're like both frustrated not figuring can't figure out how to put it together and it like the maybe the little boner that he had in the middle or the beginning was just like completely gone yeah i'll tell you that would give zach the limpest penis ever is trying to put something together with me it and then i had like crazy sunburn like

Like, you know, like, you know, like when you, when you put your sunscreen on and it's like 50, but then you like accidentally didn't get right here. So it's like a red patch. I was like, I'm not great naked right now. Anyway. Bad week. I got bejudels into going to a PR company showroom. You got what?

Bejubeled? I got bejubeled into doing the thing that I hate that I had signed off of doing for such a long time and then somehow got kajoodled back into going to a PR house showroom for a little shop. Oh God. So what happens you guys out there in the world is that a lot of times brands will like send you, you know, they're like, Hey, we want you to wear this on their Instagram or use it on your Instagram or cook with it or whatever. So they'll send you like a little PR package, which is so lovely. And it's a great form of marketing and it really works. And then these packages come from showrooms. So they have like showrooms and there's

fashion showrooms and like, um, product showrooms and whatever. And like, there used to be a thing when I first started insider where I'd get invited to the showrooms and they would be like, come in and just pick out whatever you want. It's like a little mini gifting. And at the time you're like, well, this is so great because I have $0 and like, this is going to be amazing and anything helps. And I'll take whatever, you know, really in what I would call like my free shit era. And then I got out of my free shit era and i was like it's not worth nothing is free nothing's free and it's not worth the like humility of having to show up and like be like can i have this can i have this like it's a 19 tank top i could have just like you know like all the hounding and it's just so like so

much and i was like no from now on i'm gonna buy things i wear or i'm gonna rent them from rent them from showrooms where i pay and i don't have to tag you if i don't want to so like that was my new era in my bitch era and then i saw this owner of a pr company and she's amazing she has the the best pr company in la oh and i was like yeah i'm going and she's usually come by the showroom great go to the showroom and i instantly was remembered why first of all almost everything there was a lady gang sponsor oh my god i do not need a free pair of rothy shoes i'll tell you right now i can get a rothy shoe tomorrow um but what it what it is is like even when you're in the showrooms and i totally respect the business of this there's like this showroom in particular tiers it to where

if you're important enough they take you to the good brands but you know i know exactly who this is it's my biggest pet peeve with this for this pr fashion guys wait so if you're like a celebrity they take you to the best brands if you're like an influencer like i've literally been because i've literally been on every scale of whatever that is i've been shown places in the showroom that I've not been shown since that I know are still there and brands that used to get offered to me by these people are no longer offered to me but offered to others and then I get offered shitty things like $19 tank tops so this is what happened I went on the loser route yeah at the PR company and I knew it was the owner that invited you there and I knew as I was doing it that I was

on the loser route yeah because I saw this sneaker company that I I saw on Instagram I was like wow they're really repping these really good brands. Yeah, I should like, do I have time in this? No, I have four jobs. I'm, you know, I was like, I don't have time to do this. I don't really need this. I can just buy the sneakers online if I want them so bad. But I was like, fine. Yeah, I'll go. It's such a nice invite. And I am so thankful. And I'm going to wear the shit out of my J crew. You better believe that. But I, I went and I was like, as I was going, I noticed that there was like a whole area that I wasn't being shown. I was on the loser route and I left feeling so defeated and i was like kelty don't do this to yourself anymore yeah like don't try to matter

in a world that you don't matter you're not an it girl you're not cool you're not like none of that is real you are there i saw this taylor swift clip where she was like i'm not it girl cool i didn't like that clip she's like i am creative and smart and whatever and like i'm done that was the final straw because i'm moving into this era of my life where i was like i really want to be like it. Cause I'm having this moment. I'm trying to have this moment, but like, no Kelty, you're going to create shit. You're going to make money because you're smart and you're creative and you have good work ethic, but like, you're never going to be cool. No one's ever going to be like, you know who we should send this to is you. And that's fine. So thank you for having me. It was a great

finale. I will never be back. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm done. No, of course not. I stopped doing that shit after the final time when i had that exact same experience that is so crazy it's crazy i'm like you guys stop being so obvious about yeah what this is call it two different showrooms at least or something separate them yeah whatever it is don't walk me by the stuff that i want and just like act like it's not there i'm like i can say literally have forever 21 there and they literally only give it to you if you're they they only give that to us yeah to culty was wild and j crew um i'm excited i love j crew but i also would rather just buy it i'd rather buy it than have to like i'm like i can get this vest anyway long story short so my my bad week is that

i did take ford for his first haircut and he was miserable the whole time he panicked the moment the cape went over him and we went to a place with the bells and the whistles and like you sit in the plane he's sitting in a plane he's practically like a disney okay yeah and he sits down he's fine. And then the woman puts the cape over him and he's like, like it's on fire. Like he's on fire. Then he proceeds to get the worst haircut you've ever seen because he was moving around because he's moving so much. And then Zach was like an hour later, he goes, our son looks like the owner of the Rams. Oh no. Oh no. Do yourself a favor. That has like, yeah. Yes. Like the little mini baby bang. No. So I, yeah. So that was, that was the bad week. My bad week has to do with an

airplane so i was on one of my many flights that i've had recently and i went up to go to the bathroom first mistake i'm waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting having sex i'm waiting for like 10 minutes right finally the bathroom door opens i'm sorry can i just i need to preamble this what preamble might be my word today um preface is the word you're looking for preface you didn't pay attention to whether it was red or green uh obviously not red means there's someone in there I know but yeah but if you don't get up one line somebody else is gonna get a mad dash and also sometimes I like the the opportunity to stand up yes okay you know what fine fine so I was standing up waiting for this by the way there are two bathrooms nobody was coming out of either of

them for like I'm not kidding at least five minutes which is a long time when you're standing there and waiting I had my phone at my seat I'm like what am I doing finally the door opens and this guy walks out no we make eye contact like i looks we're looking straight at each other in the eyes i go in the bathroom there is the largest piece of shit in that toilet that he did not flush and he looked at me straight in the eyes and thought that that was did you go in there yeah i flushed his shit so it wasn't even like he couldn't flush it that's what i thought oh no no know it was just sitting in the toilet I literally feel like I'm gonna barf and for this man to have the audacity to look at me straight in the eyes and make eye contact I'm like that is a level of

confidence I've never seen in my life that's gotta be a kink maybe oh a kink he didn't look at me sexually but that is I should have thought about that it's like a flasher yeah it's just shock when you go in the airport or airline bathroom airline bathroom the air what's a plane airplane bathroom and that like you know it's just sucked into the nether region and you never know what you're gonna get in that pot no you're gonna get like old pee you're gonna get uh you know it's making me sick like i do like it because it's just like a vacuum seal because yeah the smell goes away pretty quickly away you remember the thing with dave matthews band where they dumped all of his like private jet poop over like over the earth it was like over i think a river or something and

it got all over people this is anyway this guy's could have gone in there anyways that was insane that was one of the craziest like crazy shit happens to everybody on planes but that was nuts so the eye contact wasn't that would have been my bad year yeah it was pretty bad lady gang is produced by podcast one with podcasting production assistance from steve delameter derrick haley editing by jared monaco and social support from khalid carrera and mastermind evil genius from kelty knight