LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Best of GWBW, Part 2

Episode Date: February 17, 2022

One quickie wasn’t enough to fill all of the best Good Week, Bad Weeks from the past six years! Take another trip down memory lane to hear the hilarious, disgusting and honest stories that make up the LadyGang. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! ZENB: Get 20% off on your first purchase at zenb.com/lady  Coors Light: Get Coors Light in the new look delivered straight to your door with Drizly or Instacart by going to coorslight.com/lady  Progressive: Get a quote today at Progressive.com and see why 4 out of 5 new auto customers recommend Progressive!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Attention, attention, all the things you've been swooning after on theladygang.com, all of our clothing and beautiful merch, there's a huge warehouse sale happening right now. It's not going to last long, but go over to shop.theladygang.com and you're going to find some epic things like you can get a velvet dress for $39, you can get a hat for 10, the Swacket is 99, head over there, there's so much greatness and you know what? You're welcome. it's time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik let's make this quick

oh my gosh you know this isn't becca this is jack and that's because we have a very very very special episode for you and guess what it's all of our favorite good week bad weeks from the past six years. There has been some hilarious, disgusting, crazy things that have happened to us over the years, and you're going to hear about them. A collective bad week. We got in a little bit of trouble. We started the FemPyre podcast and got really excited and did a photo shoot and did a logo and got it up on iTunes and we worked our butts off. We worked so hard to get this podcast up. Then out of the internet abyss came someone who actually legally owns the name Fempire. Now we were confused by this because she hadn't really, um, done a whole

lot. Like the brand wasn't out there. It wasn't like Nike where you were like, yeah, someone obviously already started Nike. Like it was like a little bit of a disarray. So we weren't sure what's going on. So then the fempire became very popular and it's awesome. And you guys listened and you loved it and you shared it and it's everywhere. And we've like over 4,000 social media followers already on Instagram, like in just a few weeks, which is just mind blowing. The bad news is, is that we are going to have to change the name of the podcast so that we don't get sued because we want to continue to buy bags and shoes and lap dances. I want to, I want to be able to afford rent yes and so we have one week to change everything and become best friends with

everyone at itunes and figure out what we're going to do to quickly preamble this if you're new to the lady gang podcast and you haven't listened to all of our episodes there has been is the word you're looking for if you haven't prefaced it okay i want to preface preface yes like preface preface you're a journalist i hate you both preface okay yeah i want to preface this by saying to all of you lady gangers who are loving and supporting of me um that for many years i've been talking about this guy who works out at the gym at my work and we call him jeans man and he works he's incredibly

hot he went through a stage of ugly he's back to being hot um he came in first a bedazzled jean which is what first drew me to attention then he had a skinny jean now he has then he had a dark denim then he went to cargo pants and i was like it's over but then i've seen him Recently, he's back into a skinny, which brings me to today. Gene's man was on The Bachelor. Excuse me? I know! Which one?

Oh, my God. So, one of the assistants at work was like, you know Gene's man? And then wrote me this and said he was on The Bachelor. Let me see him. Who sees him? Here he is. full Bachelor Pad cast revealed.

Jesse Beck. He was an actor. And then he was on Bachelor in Paradise. What is he doing on the lot now? He was not on Bachelor in Paradise. He was? Let me see him. No, Bachelor Pad. That was before my time before I started watching it. Wait, what does he do now

on the CBS lot? I don't know! I've never talked to him. I'm scared of him. He's too sexual. Can you look at his IMDb? So I drink red wine before i go to bed like every night it helps me unwind i get really chill so good it's good for you it helps with weight loss and then i don't go to the gym whatever so the other night i was doing my thing watched curb to go to bed and i forgot to brush my teeth so i woke up like an hour after i went to bed in like a half a week sort of haze and i'm like oh shit okay i gotta go

brush my teeth so i don't put my glasses on it's dark and i'm like walking to the bathroom i like get my toothbrush and i go to put the toothpaste on i start brushing my teeth not your toothbrush i brushed my teeth with monistat why why why did you have monistat oh so readily available you know what that is the best ever so far it was it was in the history of lady gang it was sour to say the least because i was cleaning out my bathroom and i was like getting rid of some stuff and i just like put the monostat next to a couple other tubes of stuff and it looks like a toothpaste tube it does and i just had it like on my my counter and i wasn't thinking it tastes like like sour and a little bit like uh how many seconds before you noticed i mean pretty it was

pretty quickly wow but it still entered my mouth and it was disgusting congratulations today this is so good today we came in and we had a lot of meetings prior to you know recording this we met some important people kelty and jack are both wearing leggings today oh no this is a good week this is my good week oh and at one point one of our meetings i noticed that the person was staring at both Kelty and Jack's vaginas because you both are sporting the most aggressive camel toes today that I've ever seen. My leggings are very revealing. I mean, I can't even tell you.

Like, I could draw your vagina right now. Well, I have a small vagina. And I'm apparently not. It doesn't look that small today. What's with that? you both have the worst camel toes i've ever seen and it's i've waited this long to tell you because i wanted it to be a surprise but i felt like that friend who doesn't tell your friend when there's something in their teeth that's what i felt like all day today you're such a bitch but

like what do you do about it i can't change it tell you to maybe put a barrier now a barrier Well, I forgot my sweatshirt in the car, so go f*** yourself back up. I can't change it. Okay, there's a rule on the lady gang in the Facebook group, because they're talking about some girl. She's like, do I tell my friend this or that? Some girl said, if it's something that you can't change in five minutes, don't tell them. You can pull your pants out of your vagina.

I have nothing to cover it with. It's going to go right there. If I had a jacket with me, you could say, Jack, put it on the jacket, but I don't. No, you could adjust it. like it's literally like your vagina is eating dinner right now whatever they're also really shiny and fit i know that i you know what i thought about this when i put them on but i was already in the car and i was already leaving my apartment that i was like you know what oh well it is what it is everybody can see what my vagina looks like my whole life is a camel toe so i'm not

this doesn't faze me at all i'm like you're welcome world enjoy the best camel toe you've ever seen you just have just the biggest camel toe you've seen becca of all time it's the best goddamn camel toe in the world it's i'm very competitive it's the number one exactly what you guys said was gonna happen happened your husband left you yeah no so listen my husband who i love so dearly it's my birthday yesterday and i always have the worst birthdays there's something about christmas is amazing valentine's day is awesome my anniversary is always delicious something bad happens on my birthday every year like it's just a crappy time and i don't know if it's i bring it into my universe because i'm like manifesting emo or whatever anyway so my husband

was on a work trip i could not even sleep for two days he's in new york and he was in miami and he's all over the place with one of his clients and like they're on a private jet and i'm pretty sure they were like whores around anyway so i couldn't sleep for two days and i was like i don't know what's happening and one of the nights i was so restless i took a night quill and i still couldn't sleep so i got up and i walked down the street on santa monica boulevard which is like i don't in the middle of the night yes and i got four donuts a boston cream wait where did you go donut time you know that place is like a drug literally where you go to buy drugs yes and donuts so i had a boston cream literally just drugs a classic i had a chocolate i ate them

all at one time then i went to sleep i woke up the next morning my makeup artist is like your face is really puffy i'm like yeah because they ate donuts at three in the morning i can't see my husband's out of town there's probably some drugs in there hubs comes home and he he's like how was your week oh good my week was good too great great and he's like okay cool i'm gonna shower and i'm like okay he goes turns the water off and he turns the water on he comes he sits on the other bed and he goes i have something to tell you my whole like self is like what anyway long story short wait that was the most terrifying thing you've ever done it was horrendous and i just couldn't even breathe wait anyway so i'm thinking like it's over we're divorced like i'm so confused

anyway he was like listen i was in new york i went to the strip club and i was with like other guys and everyone was doing it and i got a lap dance and i feel really guilty so i'm gonna like tell you right now and i said you know i said i'm so cool with this i'm totally fine night just kidding i cried for like a whole day and i was like oh my god all the things that the girls told me are true like i'm not sexy enough and i'm not hot enough and now he's gonna find another woman named like bunny like i don't know wait what does the donuts have to do this is this i just knew in my gut that like someone's shenanigans were going on carb you know anyway so here's the thing so i ended up everything listen here's what you want on a husband you want someone that's going to come

and say yo some shenanigans happened like it's cool i love you it wasn't like the shenanigans like champagne room shenanigans yes wait like you got like a hand job oh no no no i don't think so i don't think he probably was just i don't know what happens in a private room no no no no and it's fine it's private and then maybe they can do some i used to work at one it's i'm just kidding anyway so the good thing is bunny um kitty ambrosia ambrosia anyway so i realized that i really am lucky because i do have a good husband and i really do love him so much but the best part this goes into my good week which was like that was really horrible and kind of like, Oh, in my heart. But then for my birthday, I woke up the next morning after

this conversation, it was a card on the table and I opened the card and it was like the most beautiful card. Like you're my whole world. I love you so much. And then it had all these little spa services and he had made little check marks and he's like, I'm taking you for a spa day on Saturday. Check which one you want. And I was like, Oh, you cheated. No, no, I was like, I was like, your shenanigans caused me to eat four donuts. I'm going to have to Tracy Anderson every day this week to fit into my Grammy dress. So I checked every single box except the chiro therapy, because that's just way too cold for me. So anyway, so you basically are taking your husband to the cleaners. Hey, that sounds good to me. It's fine. He went to

the strip club and yeah, it's kind of, is it okay for guys to go to the strip club? A hundred percent. Yeah, I think so. But you know what, here's the thing. You can let them go to the strip club when they're with like their bros and stuff. Yeah. But like you can tell if your husband's or boyfriend is going to go into the champagne room depending on what guy he's going to the strip club with yeah so i will say you know there's it's a real thing like the champagne room and like some sexual acts being done but i feel like when most guys go especially your husband who's like the best guy ever yeah you know he's not going to do anything weird he probably like felt so bad for just being in the club that he probably was like yeah for sure i i think it's

totally fine i mean i would probably be like hey can you give me a heads up if you're going yeah because then i'll like send someone in disguise to like videotape you 100 but you know a heads up would have been nice but but you know what it's it's fine it's not like i'm just always torn between like i'm not a regular wife i'm a cool wife but i'm not i'm like a total psycho wife no no no you're a cool wife your husband is a music manager i mean you have to be cool Yeah, he's like out traveling with like some of the biggest artists in the world. That requires a lot of trust on your end. Anyway, if you guys are wondering why, I guess I'm feeling puffy.

It's the four donuts. Thanks, husband. When we come back, more of our favorite Good Week, Bad Weeks. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by Zen Bee plant-fueled pasta. You guys have to try this. We have a code for you. We're so excited to offer our Lady Gang listeners a special 20% off discount on your first purchase by going to zenbeat.com slash lady, Z-E-N-B.com slash L-A-D-Y for 20% off. I have been enjoying this because it's made of yellow peas, so it's gluten-free, and it's honestly a great way to get your nutrition in.

It's made with one ingredient, whole yellow peas. It's packed with protein, 17 grams per serving. and it's non-gmo dairy free and gluten free so we're so excited to offer our lady gang listeners a special 20 off discount on your first purchase by going to zenbeat.com slash lady that is z-e-n-b dot com slash l-a-d-y for 20 off terms and conditions apply so these days it seems like life forces us to be on all the time but every now and then it's important to stop and reset and that's when you reach for a Coors Light. It is mountain cold refreshment made to chill.

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rate each month goes a long way get a quote today at progressive.com and see why four out of five new auto customers recommend progressive progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates national annual average insurance savings by new customers surveyed who saved with progressive between june 2020 and may 2021 potential savings will vary discounts vary and are not available in all states and situations the lady gang um so my life kind of revolves around food i don't know if anybody has realized that um but my good week my high of my week is i had a sandwich named after me what you're so famous i'm i know i've made it when i had a sandwich named after me oh um my friend opened up a deli in downtown called called mel's deli yeah and he

named a sandwich after me called the jack attack and it is turkey lettuce tomato avocado mayonnaise and whatever and crushed up potato chips oh and i think it's it's gonna be a banger now did you have any part of the creation is this your go-to sandwich yeah i came up with this idea after i had about nine glasses of wine on saturday night i forgot that i came up with the idea and i woke up on sunday morning realizing that i had a sandwich well jack don't forget the little people now that you're such a big star well i really feel like um i'm one step closer to becoming Larry David, which is like my one goal in life. Oh my God. I love him. I do too. Oh my God. He's my everything. Should we get him on the show? I would die. You'd be sitting on his lap. We can

get his daughter and I'd be playing footsie with him. Well, it kind of freaks me out, but I don't know. I was in Georgia staying with my future sister-in-law and her family and Zach and we went to visit and we were hanging out it was really fun they have this beautiful house i get out of the shower and i am like drying my hair and i feel myself like loosen up one of my earrings but it's like not really a big deal um so then i go and i need to go to the bathroom number two of course i go number two and then i i flush and i left you know some some remnants yeah and on like her spotless bathroom. And I'm like, Oh my God, I have to like, what do you, you know, what do you do? So anytime this happens, what I'll do is I'll flush the

toilets really quickly and then scrape it out and then get it out with toilet paper, like as little water that can possibly be in the bowl. So I like lean over and I'm inspecting, you know, what I should do, taking an evaluation, if you will. And I go to put my hair behind my ear and i hear my earring in the toilet did it land in the poop a diamond earring in poop water and i was like that's where diamonds come from though right poo yeah or something do they essentially it's like just carbon pressed together but whatever so not we're all of you so that's no so i'm like oh my god and then i sat there with myself and i was like this is not my house so i can't run out and get any kind of prop any kind of like tool it has to

just happen right here in this moment wait and it wasn't flushing down the toilet i didn't i had yet to flush it again it did not float and i was sitting there like negotiating with myself like how much did these earrings cost and am i willing to flush it so i was like absolutely not so basically what i'm doing is for 400 will you stick your hand in a poopy toilet that was my number that was my number and i was like i guess i will there i go and i go i did it how is it in your ear now it's in my ear it's disgusting have you gotten a reaction on your area i haven't any remnants no no my good week we're on sex with emily's podcast a couple weeks ago yes and every time we're on she always gives us some goodies yes and they're always amazing and there's like

a lube that i put on my lips accidentally once and then another lube that i accidentally put into my soda stream but anyways she gave us this amazing what is it a vibrator it's a vibrator vibrator called the womanizer it's advanced and this is not an ad but i wish it would be because it's the best thing i've ever used in my entire life how does it work so it has like air suction it's like a suction and you put it on your clit it vibrates and it sucks it simulates oral sex yeah and so i would always say to people that have a hard time like giving themselves an orgasm i'm like use a magic wand because those if you don't orgasm from that you're screwed but you're dead but you're literally a corpse but the womanizer is like the it's the best thing i've

ever done it's great it's amazing i highly recommend it to everybody so i haven't used mine yet you gotta use it i went away on a work trip and i left it under chris's pillow as like a fun thing for when we got back but we haven't seen each other yet i feel like it might be hard for somebody to use on you because it's so specific we didn't like hold it right you get it together did he hold it for you we did both but it worked better if i held it because it's like very spot yeah it's like you have to get exactly there's a light that comes out of it that points in your clitoris that you can hold it on it's so weird i hope my mother-in-law's listening yep amazing yay for our vaginas yeah everybody should get my dad ew gross i just

realized he listens to everyone sorry dad hey dad third love bro it's okay dad i found mom's back massager many times growing up you guys are assholes yeah we know both of you and your korean spa adventures on this podcast i thought you meant just for that yeah we are okay so much over the last two years you've been like korean spa then i went to the korean spa you and your little leah michelle posting photos i told you about all of my terrible experience the staff infection the tampon in the shower i'm sorry i haven't exactly been singing phrases they're sanitary you made it seem so interesting and i was like you know what i'm gonna go to a korean spa because i'm not the kind of person that would go to a korean spa i'm more of a covered up kind

of gal you know you're in for a rude awakening no listen to this so i got snowed in in new york city and i was like you know what there's i do not have to work today i'm gonna go to the korean spa so i sign up for the korean spa and i'm so excited and i'm like yes yes yes and then i'm like oh i'm gonna be naked i go naked no one else in the entire crew in new york oh at spa palace no one else in the entire korean spa was naked yes but here's how i found out so i like tiptoe over and i'm like in the dip pool and i'm just like living the jacuzzi life someone came over to you and told you to put on a bathing suit no and i'm naked co-ed one no i was in girls only okay so i'm naked and i was the only one in the area at that time like other people so then people start walking

in like it starts to get busier and there's like two friends and they take their towels off they have a swimsuit on next one so literally like the four hot tub section and walk to the steam room there's like i would say 10 to 12 girls there every single one of those bitches is wearing a swimsuit so then i'm stuck in the water and i have to be like and my towel's over there and i'm like i have to stand up butt ass naked and like shenega with my bad tramp stamp over to get my towel in all nakedness and every other single girl there had like some of them were wearing one pieces it was not okay did you say something no but i was like i cannot believe the amount of rules being broken right now it is unacceptable i will say every korean spot in

la you have to be naked in like you cannot wear a bathing suit also i want to let you know they didn't give me a slipper yeah they don't do that no frills and they said you couldn't not a slipper it's like a plastic slipper you couldn't bring your own flip-flops no personal flip-flops so you just have to get athlete's foot yeah i was just naked with no shoes on and it was horrible anyway i'm sorry wait did those girls make funny faces at you well i was trying not to look them their eye and i was just like trying to slither out of there but i feel like i just would have had to say a disclaimer before getting out and then it's also my friends told me i needed to be naked anyway apologies you have to see my pussy right now my voluptuous vagina that would

be more like take a picture it won't last forever you know i am definitely will not last forever well i hope you enjoyed that as much as i did uh wow it feels good to reminisce about all the good the bad and the diarrhea we will see you next week for a regular episode of lady gang thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's so great swipe up to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at the lady gang.com and join our

secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday. This February on Pluto TV, we're putting the spotlight on iconic black talent. Watch your favorite movies like Top 5, 48 Hours, and More Than a Game. And drop in to binge black TV classics like The Bernie Mac Show and Moesha. Pluto TV has hundreds of channels and thousands more movies and TV shows all for free. So download the Pluto TV app on your favorite streaming device and stop watching today. Pluto TV drop in watch free.