LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Breaking the Fast

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

Cleanses can be fun, but mostly they’re like torture. Keltie and Becca are getting into (and out of) a Goop cleanse! Plus, colonics mostly seem like fake health. And what’s the best food to break that fast?? Break your fast with one of our fab sponsors! Away – Start your risk-free, 100 day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases, at awaytravel.com/ladygang.    Rothy’s – Check out all the amazing shoes and bags available right now at Rothys.com/ladygang.    Shopify – See all the ways Shopify is supporting independents at Shopify.com/Independents.     Ziprecruiter – Try Zip Recruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com/gang.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And when the temperature drops, their outerwear styles are made for everything from chilly commutes to freezing hospital hallways. If you're in healthcare or love someone who is, check out Figs. Head to wearfigs.com and use code FIGSCA for 15% off your first order. That's wherefigs.com, code FIGS, C-A. It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, The Hollywood Girl Posse, with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick.

Hello, hello, hello. It's not going well in the Lady Gang right now. Guys, it's not great. We're about to break up due to a fast. It's Becca, Kelty, and Jack here. jack literally just said are people gonna care about this content and i'm like you know what they have to because it's kelty and i's existence at the moment and they need to we need to talk about it because i'm sad yeah so we went to the goop event all together and one of the goop labs videos was gwyneth doing this cleanse so in the goop labs one of the lady gang members jack goes

on pescatarian diet one of the lady gang members goes on vegan and one of the they have their own little lady gang the goop lady gang there's three oh i was like i did not do that you can do that no and then one of them goes on this goop cleanse it's the prolon cleanse and lots of people have been talking about it you've had friends have done it i had a whole bunch of people at office that did it and i was like how was it guys and they're like i don't know and like some of the girls that are like my age were like i feel great and i was like okay i'll do it i needed a reset because i ate so healthy until my trip and then since the trip i've eaten absolute dumpster fire of a stomach yeah my colon is like an old rotten sock is trying to be digested down there and the

farts that are coming out of me are that's when you know things have gone bad so and i haven't like i literally don't think i peed for like three weeks like just so dehydrated drinking water shitty yeah so we decided to go on this cleanse and becca and i were like let's do it together we're going to do it before this big photo shoot we had and then plans changed so we decided let's do it so we did it yes and it's a box of five meals like every meal is in a little box yeah so it's just five days i'm like i've done juice cleanses i've done all kinds of things i did the whole 30 that's 30 days with no alcohol like if i can do that i can do anything yeah whoa guys so day one and it's the also the thing about it is like it's food so in your mind logically you're like i'm still being

allowed to have soups and some crackers and some olives like in a granola bar in the morning like how bad could it be day one it was like fine i can do anything this is great do you like an olive i love olives do you like an olive i hate olives i fucking hate an olive if you were like you are the last woman on earth and the existence of the human race depends on you putting these four slimy eyeballs down your throat i would choose to end her i'm shocked by that and olives are nasty i I don't feel that way about anything. Okay, olives. That's like how Zach feels about mayonnaise, and I just can't get it.

I don't understand people who don't like mayonnaise. I think it's the same. It's like... No, but mayonnaise is delicious, and in theory, it's grosser than an olive. It elevates everything you put it on. It's oil and eggs. Eggs, right? I used to put mayonnaise on my french fries.

Vinegar and eggs, I think, right? I just think it's oil in it. I don't know. I'm not a cook. Anyway, I have never loved a food group more than olives on this fast. It's like you get the little package of olives. So you're eating them. Oh, my God.

Because you're starving yourself otherwise. I'm craving them. When it gets to lunch and they're like, you can have olives, I'm like, oh, thank God. It's time for my olives. Ooh, what are these, with garlic or salt? It's so f***ed up. I know. I loved olives.

I'm like, I've loved olives this whole time. They're so much better than a gummy bear. They're delicious. Olives are gross. I love them. So, day two, like, energy low, like, but you're still kind of thinking, oh, I can do this. Yeah. I almost gave up on day two because I wanted to eat an ice cream sandwich, and I was like,

Kelty, you give up on everything in your life. Like, why can't I do anything good for myself over more than 40 hours? And I was so annoyed. I was like, don't give up. So I just went to bed at 630. I just needed the day to be over and it to be breakfast. Good for you. Today was day four.

Day four. I woke up and I was like, okay, I've got this. Jack's acting out on her phone because she's so mad we're doing this. I have nothing to contribute to this. What am I going to do? It's called active listening. I am active listening. Day four.

You woke up. You did the thing. You didn't eat. same thing as day three two and one am i missing anything you ate some olives she's like so triggered by eating stuff she hates talking about dieting or i am really triggered she really is triggered i am it really brings me to a dark place you're being like in my past a petulant child right now i'm sweating okay anyway about the olive i woke up this morning and i was excited because um today we got to eat a bar for breakfast it's delicious it's like the bar is good it's not

bad so i was excited and then lunch i ate my soup here and now i'm going to this big birthday dinner and i'm pretty sure i'm gonna give up but i'm gonna give up in like a healthy way where i'm not gonna eat alcohol or diet coke or fries but i'm going to a sushi place so i think i'm gonna have like a fish i'm gonna have a fish and a vegetable probably tonight okay and then i'm gonna continue on day five whose birthday are you attending robin's okay robin thick okay because i was like you would not be going to a birthday party like i don't know you to go out on the weekday or it's Tuesday night birthday party Tuesday night and I'm heading out to the cat night out on the town anyway so I think I'm gonna do that and then I'm gonna continue and do day

five the proper way but I'm gonna give myself this little meal tonight because I wasn't doing it for weight loss I was doing it for like a reset to my health which I absolutely think it has done and I'm like thinking about I'm really find myself craving vegetables vegetables and healthy food like I do not feel like I need to get off this fast and eat a donut which I think it was like good for my diet coke-ness, good for my sugar-ness. Um, and so I'm very happy that I did it. It was harder than I thought. I think my bujo helped a lot because I bujoed the whole thing. And then every time I ate a meal, I crossed it out. Um, but I, I've new appreciation for olives. And so Becca's now going to talk about her fourth day. My fourth day, I woke up this

morning yesterday. I didn't have coffee cause I was really trying. Coffee's like an option. If you need it, you can have it still black coffee. Yesterday I was like, you know what? I don't want to do it. I want to try to wean off coffee because it was like, you know, I was having four a day. Because it's like bad ideas. If I'm just going to eat air and I'm not going to have any fun, I may as well throw in coffee too. Right. So I had my coffee.

I had my bar. And then I just hit a wall. I hit a wall. It was dark. I hit an emotional wall. It had nothing to do with being hungry. I was like, I can't feel this out of control of my feelings any longer. And like I am the worst person to be hungry.

i've always been an asshole when i'm hangry hence why i screamed at jack before we started this podcast i'm still getting nothing maybe not nothing she's getting her strength up but i then threw some goldfish in my mouth and i never looked back goldfish is such a great way to break a fast but what's crazy being delicious but i also would have had like what i would have done in my mind i wanted a salad and in my heart i wanted a salad but i was at my friend's house She didn't have a salad. And I was like, I need sustenance right now because I hate myself right now. Give me a horse's hoof.

Yeah, I would have eaten anything. She's like, I have raw sweet potatoes in the fridge. I thought about it. I was like, do I just eat those? Like just a sweet potato? Just take a bite out. Did you notice any differences in your body? I have a question.

Do they promote fasts as like a weight loss thing? So the science behind this one, it's a doctor who studied at USC. He might still be there. And it actually is very backed science on fasting. Like, basically, if your body is constantly full of food, your organs and everything are working so hard to digest. Yeah, that's why you do intermittent fasting. So then this is basically like an intermittent fast on steroids where it's like the chemicals of your body when it's in fasting mode are making it. This is like, I'm still brain dead, so please excuse me.

But it's cell rejuvenation. like it's cell turnover it starts happening your liver gets a break your organs get a break your digestive system gets a break so it's basically like giving your body an opportunity to heal itself yeah like it's it does make sense to me and i didn't do it for weight loss which is why like you're okay saying i'm okay being done and also i think that right now at the weight that i am like like i don't think i'm gonna lose much weight no right like and if i did it would have It would be way more than a five-day fast. It would have to be, like, anorexia for three months.

You know what I mean? Like, I'm at a place where I'm good. Yeah. So I did want to do it for, like... A reset. A reset. And anti-aging, it's supposed to be really good for, like, everything. Your cells, your stem cells, whatever.

Yeah. Well, for me, I am not, obviously, because of my Hashimoto's, I'm not supposed to eat gluten, and I'm really not supposed to eat any inflammatory foods. Neither are any of the people on the planet, right? Like that's like, they say inflammation causes like all the bad things in life. So I really shouldn't. And I do. And when I start eating like shit, my skin starts breaking out.

I get hives randomly in my armpits. Like, it's just like weird shit happens. And I'm like, why do I still have acne? I did like a full year on Accutane. Like this is, it's just my body reacting to this. So the thing I've noticed the most since I've been on the fast is this, that my skin is like so smooth. My pores are so small.

Like I don't have that acne and my whites of my eyes. Like also I've been having massive shits. yeah like massive confusing three and i'm like has it been up there the whole time what really startled me today startling i was like i have not ingested this amount of food that's literally been living in there up in there i know it's like in the farts my farts have been so sticky no not stinky at all really oh no mine on like day two at night i like could clear a room oh no i didn't have that at all it was like the same i feel like after this fest the same thing what's it called when you put the colonic you put the colon have you done one yeah many times i did one of those

after a juice cleanse it was a colonic sick did you feel barfy when you did the colonic yeah it's disgusting well yes no like i felt nauseous i feel nauseous when i get them done yeah i've had many done yeah and then it feels like somebody's fisting your bowl yeah it's weird i've only done one and i didn't like it i only did one too did you do it with a person or did you just like i did one early in my 20s in New York where they just hook you up to the machine and then leave.

No, no, no. She was there. Did they massage your stomach? Yeah. That's the one I like. I don't like any of them. I don't think we as like normal people

should have them. Well, can I tell you something? I do have a theory about colonics. So I haven't done one since my appendix burst or my appendix was bursting in process of bursts

and I had to have surgery. Was I on Lady Gang then? Before Lady Gang. Pre-Lady Gang, I had appendicitis which so many people do. So anyway, I, I think that my colonic caused my appendicitis because append, your appendix is like a little wiener that just sits in your bowel and it's like a little pocket.

I know this. No, it's like, like a little baby wiener. I'm Google imaging. Does it look like a wiener? Yeah, it looks like a tiny little wiener. It sits off the side of like whatever part of your digestion. And the reason you get appendicitis is like if a piece of food or a piece of bile or something, it doesn't look like a wiener.

It does. it's like normally you're not that accurate with medical things thank you but I am today a little wiener so it's like a little wiener hanging there and then like when a little piece of food or a little something gets stuck in there that's when it becomes inflamed and you have to take it out so it's for sure your colonic so I feel like well I'd had many colonics and I was fine and then I did a colonic and then like three weeks later is when my appendix like I had to have my appendix taken out so I've always wondered because then I wanted to go for another colonic after and she's like is there any change in your health and I was like well no I've I had my

appendix taken out she's like oh I'm gonna need a doctor's note to clear you to give you this colonic and I was like do you know something I don't know about colonics so I haven't I've had like a couple since also I don't like did you I remember getting my colonic in like a weird office like it's not it wasn't at a doctor it's not I mean but I just think it's weird that somebody's sticking something up your butthole is that anybody can do it like in an office what is like the process to which you have to go through to give someone a colon because you're sucking things out of your bottle i just go put the vacuum up zach's ass yeah and be like and you're a colonic you feel a little stuffed up because they feel like they fill it with water

wait and they clear it just seems too internal for not a doctor to be doing to people the lady dead i have a great challenge i don't want to do a colonic get their significant others to do a colonic first me i probably i probably could too very fast you'll do whatever you'll do anything i say anything they were literally giving him like old hollywood waves on instagram he asked me to straighten his hair no men with hair i have discovered something my friend megan her fiance also has long hair he loves any excuse for people to play with his hair no he jared kept asking me yes he's like do you want to like braid each other's hair like joking and then he kept Saying it, I'm like, do you really want me to braise your hair?

They do. He's like, yeah. She can give him a proper blowout, and he does not care. Loves it. He loves it. Loves it. Shit, it's kind of hot. Anyway, so the colonics, yeah.

Chris would have one? I think he would, because he's, like, really into his health. Oh, yeah. He, like, loves to start and stop a health regime like me. Okay, well, colonics are fake health. I really, I'm anti-colonics. I think that they're a sham. She thinks everything is a sham.

Because it all brings PTSD from my previous life of being, like, that's, I would do youth cleanses for 30 days and then get like you went crazy i know i went too nuts i know um she's so sorry we had to talk about their fast i failed i thought you'd be thrilled okay what was good about the fast is that they say that it de-ages your insides and on the group labs when i've lost two years yeah like so i'm technically 36 right yeah totes i've got the bowels of a 36 year old Do you want to hear why I'm sort of proud of myself for giving up? Like, I, my old self would never have let you win. Like, I'm so competitive that I would have been like, I am not going to admit defeat.

Like, I have to do this. If Kelty can do it, I can do it. That weak, pathetic piece of a human Kelty did. I could not admit defeat. And today I was like, you know what? This is probably a good practice for me to, like, learn how to lose. Let it go. And, like, not give a shit.

But I don't think we lost. I think that we, are you, I mean, you're not reset because you started with a fucking Swedish fish. And a goldfish. It's the smart sweets, which are less sugar. You guys, I think if you have a nice, healthy dinner and then start tomorrow with your beautiful latte and like a nice, healthy day of eating. I have a question. That's what I'm going to do. I have a question for you.

How long do you think it's going to take for you to not have a Snickers for breakfast? Oh, my God. She's going to do it on Friday. How many days? I want to know how many you think and then how many in reality it actually is. Okay. I mean, it's not, I don't, it takes me, okay. How do I explain this?

All right. Snickers for breakfast or like a gas station Pop-Tart is a really, it's really far down the spectrum. So that's almost the breaking point. Okay. Like when I catch myself getting two cans of Diet Coke or the value size Diet Coke and a chocolate bar and a Pop-Tart at the 7-Eleven and then like secretly eating in my car while i drive to something like that's when i know i'm not looking for like rock bottom no that's when i

know a reset's coming yeah so between like a reset and that it's like a relapse yeah it's like a relapse so i think a month like i think this week i'll eat super healthy yeah on the weekend i'll probably make cookies and then by next week i'll be like having a diet coke in the afternoon and then in two more weeks we'll be at pop-tart gas station and then i'll have to start this shit all the over again like i actually can show you in my bujo like just three weeks ago because i have been really do you want to see this page of your bujo i've been f***ing up are you since i go well i want to do you can you okay sorry you can continue after but i want to see a bujo like do you have like a diet coke snickers like the thing and what days of the month you've eaten them so i

don't no no so i don't write down food when it's bad so what happens is i get the idea like okay i'm gonna clean up my act i got this and i boojoed a whole week and i was like breakfast because i never eat breakfast or lunch and then i get so hungry and then i eat shit so i put breakfast lunch dinner water and i had to check off every day that i ate breakfast lunch dinner and water and i got through two days like one cup of water like any water at all there are days i do not drink any water so i went through two days and then my boojo is just lying barren because i gave up already and then i went back to the pop tarts and then so hard it's balance is so hard I just can't believe you go days without drinking any water right now.

I don't do it on purpose. That's so crazy. But I drink a lot of tea. No one would do it on purpose. I drink a lot of tea, but I don't think that counts because it's caffeine. Well, I think if it's caffeinated, it doesn't count. Yeah. No, it's really bad.

So now I've Bujo'd this cleanse, and I'm going to try to keep a food journal. People, we always talk about this in Lady Gang Facebook group, like, what do you do to keep your – I have to – if I'm going to eat healthy, I have to have a food journal. Like, I have to be writing it down and being able to see it. Well, we should know. A lot of people, yeah. I can't just promise myself I'm going to eat healthy and then pick a salad. Yeah.

Because, like, I'm going to pick. You need to hold yourself responsible. I'm picking a falafel every fucking time. Yum. You know what I mean? You know what I want for dinner? Remember that day I ate bread? Yes.

Oh. She had cut bread out for a while, and then after the Seychelles, she got back, and she was making up songs about bread and dancing like a psychopath. Shocking. It was like someone who had done meth. This is her meth. One last thing. Should I get a burrito for dinner?

Like a Chipotle? Yeah. But no rice. That sounds delicious. I mean, can't I just go in and then tomorrow? Yeah, start again. You're shaking. Okay, last thing I'm going to say is I have just one quick update that has nothing to do with this topic.

It's a TikTok update. I have found someone to write and produce. The way Jack is triggered by cleanses and fasts is the way I am triggered by TikTok. I feel like we need to stop. Should we just draw a line in the sand where we don't talk about TikTok anymore? After this. No, I feel like this isn't good. I'm making an original song on TikTok.

i'm using my traffic song to to beep beep this is the traffic song and i think everyone's going to use it while they're in traffic on tiktok can we like just put some energy towards other things i think that there's a real problem that you have i think that you can't she's obsessed she can't do anything without the end goal being success yes so like you can't just have fun on tiktok no i am having fun no you're not no because you're looking for viral she's freaking out if a day goes by and she's not posting she's freaking out about not going viral she's counting her views i don't even know how many views you have more followers see she's she's literally looking every day on how how many followers you know what i'm gonna figure out i'm gonna think about it

until the next time we convene i'm gonna find a hobby that doesn't equal success okay can you start drinking in your hot tub more often that's a good hobby i know what happened to that that lasted for like a couple days that seems very nice for you i fell off the wagon all right all right we have to go we weren't here for a long time but we were here for a good time soupy diarrhea time thanks for listening and make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast we have new episodes of lady gang every tuesday and thursday follow us on social media at the lady gang uh follow us personally at kelty most importantly at becca and at jack bannock the lady gang network is produced by will sterling steve delamater kirsten woodward

and Elizabeth Baquette. Thanks for rating and reviewing wherever you get your podcasts and tune in for new episodes every single week.