LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Everyone Wants to be Keltie

Episode Date: September 15, 2022

As the ladies continue signing bookplates, they have an announcement to share. Find out what rules they are setting for the tour and a sneak peak of the show. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Hyundai: Test drive the New Hyundai Tucson at your nearest dealer - learn more at HyundaiUSA.com - OR call 562.314.4603 for complete details! Coors Light: Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Drizly or Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com/lady  Progressive: Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi Lady Gang, just in case you've been living under a rock, our brand new book Lady Secrets is available for pre-order. It comes out September 20th, but if you go to theladygang.com slash books you can get this amazing bonus offer if you pre-order it. You can get an exclusive clip from the audiobook and it might be a little story about how Kelty may or may not have gotten kicked out of George Clooney's party in the south of France. And then you can also get a promo code for the Lady Gang shop for $20. So go check out theladygang.com slash books to pre-order yours now. for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek let's make this quick

hello hello hello welcome to the lady gang i'm back here with jack and kelty and alex and chris and callie yeah it's a gang's all here family affair set the scene becca well we're all sitting at kelty's beautiful beautiful marble island in her kitchen her 90 their kitchen always there it's looking gorge it's looking gorge and we are signing book plates for the live show because everybody gets a signed book when they arrive so exciting it's very hard to sign your name this many times you know i've never actually like really thought about what my signature is and i'm changing it up for everyone so when they try to pin me down for a crime they won't be able to match it up do you guys remember on act like a lady when i started putting other names yes yeah

that was so weird you should do it katie knightley you should do one it's like the golden ticket i'm doing one right now i'm doing katie knightley spell it out so they can okay yeah there you go if you get this one we will send you a free sweatshirt yes katie knightley it's a golden and take that's such a good idea um adorable I should do start doing Rebecca Martin you should do Rebecca but you should do it in like an old English script I can barely write Rebecca um I actually my I have PTSD from signing multiple things in a row because let me tell you a little story about um my birthday party my first birthday party I had once I was on the show Glee this sleazy promoter came to me and said, I'll throw you a birthday party in Vegas.

And you were like, yeah. And I was like, sure. That sounds like a great time. I think I was newly single. I was ready to get down, you know, sparklers, my name and lights, um, a cake that's like happy birthday, Becca. And then they take the letters off and put Kim tomorrow. Yes, exactly. And it's styrofoam. Yeah, exactly. And I'm pretty sure like Red Bull might've, where was it? Which club? I, I couldn't tell you. I have no idea. I can't wait to go and get the images and look at the photos. Yeah. I was in a white mini dress and a high pony. Honestly, the girl that did my hair and makeup, really, she snatched me up. Love it. Um, and so I went to this thing, but part of the deal was that I had to sit down before the party and sign like, I don't know, a thousand headshots.

Were they going to like sell them to you? I guess. You can buy them on eBay right now. Yeah. But I, I, I have no idea. That was like part of the, part of the drill. And I have pictures of me signing book plates in my hotel room. And I was in like a tragic beanie and like a, um, the fame, the fame, like a sexy mature. Oh God. People don't like these by the way. They love them.

They say they don't know if it's us saying it in the moment or if it's, this is literally what I said when every time in the beginning, because I was like, it's too confusing. It's way too great. I'll add sound effects. So to go, bing, sexy, mature. Yeah. We need to do like a voice alteration. So they're a little bit different.

You know what, guys? I'm doing my best. But back to your signing of the book plates. That seems so sketchy. No, it was signing of headshots. Or headshots. And what headshot? Like the glee in the costume headshot?

I actually have to, I would have to look back for reference of like what I was even signing. I don't think I had done Maxim yet. Those are like the things. Those are hot commodities. I signed those for years. Still am. And they look, you look great. who's buying the headshots and where do you buy them from like headshots.com i truly don't know

it's so bizarre i have no idea but yeah that's the last time i sat down other than act like a lady and signed like thousands of pictures and things that are useless that nobody's gonna want who wants a signature as we're doing it i'm like does anybody okay well first of all not with that attitude second of all people really want a signed book when you're a book person i get it i get a i get a book but i don't understand a celebrity a celebrity autograph it really doesn't it's like you're too young for that i guess no i remember wanting autographs like when i went to disney i got minnie's autograph i did too i had the autograph book me too of course you'd have to fill up it was so cute but like before i guess it was before pictures before you could have like a

digital camera you'd want an autograph so much better i agree i wish i could just sign things and not look like a troll in everybody's selfie phone i'm like can i get some lighting like i don't know. I always like, I want to Mariah carry it so that there's always like a good light around me, you know? But anyway, we're doing the thing. Um, I want to tell you this. I, um, want to just have this moment of gratitude as I'm sitting here this morning, we're all together. It's press day. We're like getting to talk about ourselves. My favorite pastimes. Um, I think everyone looks exceptionally cute and my gratitude is that like every one of these signatures is a lady secrets book and is a lovely member of our community that we love that has like paid to come see us on tour

and we're going to have the best tour of all time like the planning is so beautiful and it's like think about this like i'm thinking about this and i'm like i'm thinking about like um get to the she is envisioning it's gonna be great when it's nothing and we just lost our last listener no i am thinking about like lynn wong like lady mom yes i love lynn and where is she from what show is she gonna gc right she i think she's coming to philly so it's like you know she just had written and was like we're coming to the show i'm it's my fourth lady gang show like we've only had like five i know anyway i just think it's so special so i know this is boring you know what i appreciate about people like Lynn, they come to the show. They are the perfect amount of enthused

and excited. And like they are, you know, we have a spectrum of audience members and Lynn lands in my favorite place because she's not screaming at us when we're on stage, by the way, I'm going to do a public service. I've been going to a lot of live shows lately because, you know, the pandemic is lifting. I think who knows who knows where we're going to be, who knows where we are. Um, I'm just rolling the dice and I find that people get very excited, which of course is wonderful and appreciated. But I think in this, because we're not performing music and I went and saw this like random, um, book reading, blah, blah, blah. People think that it's an opportunity to like be one with the podcast or whatever the act is on stage. If they're close enough to the

stage to actually communicate with the people on the stage. Now I want to tell you girls, I love talking to you. I love the VIP moment. I freaking love seeing you in the flesh. What I don't love is for everyone else in the audience. When you're having a conversation with us on stage or, you know, anyone else on stage, like nobody in the back can hear you when it's not an audience participation you need a microphone you need a microphone or even hear you yeah we can't hear you and then also the people in the back are they're not getting the intimacy that you're you're getting and so they're just losing moments of precious time but i do think that we have a perfect show planned for this type of thing like there's definitely moments where we're like okay

this is audience participation get this gala mic and like this is just lady gang and i know the problem and it's the problem is that everyone wants to be a kelty and run the show everyone it's like you can't like i feel this every time i go to a public event i feel like oh this is my turn to turn it into the kelty show this is my time to shine when i'm in the audience like at a crate and cultivate like no one wants to be on a panel or in the audience with me because i like want to talk the most and i have the most to say and so i can understand when your natural inclination when you were the loudest girl in the class yeah you know like it's your inclination to perform. Well, and to be honest, it is going to be the closest that they'll probably be

to becoming a guest on the show. So it's like, I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. The real issue is that Jack, you know, if you talk, Jack won't talk at all. Yeah. What do you mean on the show? If we have someone in the audience who's giving us a full rundown of their life. Oh, I'm like, you can take the mic. I'll go. I know you'll leave. Jack will switch places with you. So, yeah, if you really want to be the third member, just let me know. I'll take a break. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by Coors Light. Coors Light, we love this brand, and I'll tell you why.

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Call 562-314-4603 for complete details. The Lady Gang. um do we want to talk about any of the things that we have planned for the show i think so like give a little sneak peek well i'll tell you a story okay so this weekend i went to michael's the craft store like i do yeah and um you know we need some supplies for tour like we have this wheel of secrets that we're doing and it's going to be this giant wheel and we're going to spin it and it's going to land on something from the book that we can read and it's going to be really beautiful and you know when i get into a michaels that's like oh yeah yeah i'm like do we need

ribbon i almost bought a machine i know what no i know what you're gonna say yep to hobby knobby yeah and i understand i almost bought a machine where you can print on hobby knobby hobby knobby sounds like a like a sexual thing a sexual position store and the man with the apron comes up and he says do you need help with a frame for that this little hobby knobby rubbed against her back yeah okay so not hobby knobby anyway so no but you are being hobby knobby i feel like that's an adjective okay hobby knobby so i was being hobby knobby but like there are things that we can make my friend duane's sister is a professional cricketer she does this for a living she sells when you have a wedding thing and you're like you want the seating chart yeah

she'll make it for you right on etsy yeah people make so much money doing that yeah and it's really beautiful, like better than me. So I'm enlisting them to come help, but I really have a chic outlook for like the things that we're going to make ourselves and stuff. And so I sent, I started sending color combinations to Jack because, you know, old Kelty would be like, I'm just going to plow through, make the decision myself. And then you're going to end up with stickers on your good week, bad week box that you're embarrassed about. Like, I don't want to do that i want everyone to feel really good about the tour so they by the way cricket you make the perfect colors the yellow and the hot pink are could not be the book like it's like the same

pantone i swear to god it's same same thing so i'm so excited about it but then i got off track then all of a sudden i'm like hey jack like what do you think and she's like i don't know i think maybe we should get this embroidered and i'm like okay and then i'm like but what if you wanted to put like a sticker on. No, it's not a sticker. It's an iron on like our names. I need to see a photo for sure. Okay. It's all, you know, anyway, fun and games until it gets a hold of it. Yeah. So anyway, so then I'm like, okay. And she's like, no, no, the colors are good. Colors are good. Then I got to the sparkle aisle and that's where things went astray. Reverse is that i got to they had the perfect glitter hot pink and hot yellow in glitter and i was like we could

make the wheel like price is right like all you know how the glitter tiles listen i i was against it until you said the price is right yeah i wish your wheel was bigger it could be we need a price is right size no we don't have room for that the wheels the wheels pretty big not that big i want people like get on their toes yeah you use your whole body weight to pull oh like that big oh my god no okay that's our next definitely don't have the budge for that we have any budget we'll do that yeah okay so anyway so i got the wheel stuff and i was really excited and then i got lost in the sticker aisle shocker um and but then and then okay so this is this is where i wanted to give the secret so one the we made a tour t-shirt and it's like the most epic t-shirt of all time

guys it's like an old rock and roll t-shirt and there's like skeletons on it but i feel like this is too much too much information okay well okay stop there stop there okay yeah don't say what it says no no i'm not gonna say anything okay but all i'll say is that michaels also has their halloween decor out and so many skellies and i was like no i was like am i switching from glitter to like skelly themed like when you come in and there's skellies that you know have little hats This is not 2010 Alexander McQueen. But we are kind of like, we're scooching into the Halloween season. We are.

We have the day after Halloween show in LA, which I think should be a costume show. I'm not mad at that because I don't think I'm going to be able to wear a costume on Halloween. And no one can because we're old. We don't have anywhere to go. I'm going to the When We Were Young Festival. And so I'm like, unless I'm going to wear me as my 16-year-old self emo. Oh, that's kind of a great idea. I mean, that's a really good costume.

Which I would do anyway. Should we be us as our 16-year-old selves for our Halloween show? I kind of love it. That's a great idea. I still have my prom dress. And maybe the whole audience can be their 16-year-old selves. Oh, I love this. Alex, are you taking notes?

That's so good. She's not. She's doing way more important things right now. That's cute, though, because everybody can kind of, like, they can go whatever level they want for their costume. Right. And you don't have to spend money. You can just, like, take things from your world.

also our girls like when they were 16 is when the fashions that are currently on trend were on trend get those low-rise jeans they're everywhere wait are you gonna do prom because i'll do ballet school yeah i'll do my prom okay that's when i was the biggest dirt bag ever the pink dress i had well no i have many prom dresses because i don't want to brag but i got invited by a lot of guys to a lot of schools um so i have a lot to choose from and you kept them all oh my god listen i peaked in high school and actually i didn't wait i'm gonna wear my pointe shoes and a full tutu bun head and i'm gonna bore on to stage oh my god this is gonna be amazing i love oh my god see okay when we get to me it's the show in la it's the show in la show in la your

16 year old 16 year old self i've been trying to figure out speaking of costumes now that i have a child i have to do halloween which comes me out baby avocado why does that bum you out well i don't like dressing up so i feel like you're gonna do a family you're gonna have to feel my cost i know well he does look like jack jack from the incredibles a little bit and he also looks like boss baby oh my god wait boss baby like from the hangover no boss baby the movie that alec baldwin plays the boss like he voices the boss baby but who else i've never seen that i haven't seen it either that's not that's guys it's a great movie but does the boss baby just look like he wears a black suit and tie oh my god he's a boss and he has a cell phone oh that's like

an old school blocky cell phone oh cute that's kind of cute okay so i'm thinking that but i'm also like i don't want to have to dress up so alec and hilaria um did on the red cucumber on the red carpet for his opening of that movie the whole family dressed as boss babies so they're all in black suits and ties. And I think it's really cute. And Zach already has a bald head. So he also looks like boss baby. And you could do, no, but you could just do like a slick bun. That's what I'm thinking. You guys, one of my, I just want Becca to cut her hair so bad. You're so rude. I mean, it's coming. You guys, I have to cut it. I keep having dreams about it. I just, I can't do it on stage at one of our shows. I might, I just, I need to do it in a city where

there's someone who can fix it you won't need it to be fixed i got my sissies ready i'm gonna bring them on the tour just in case anyone needs a trim i'm gonna want to chop my hair i need a trim oh yeah um matching hair for ginger bell ginger bobs ginger bobs wait i had something to say about hold on you were talking about boss baby and the suits the 16 year old self show it was past that you were talking about your tacky sparkles no that was so that was last year um it was boss baby hilaria the movie coming on the right anyway okay wow that's thrilling god damn it anyway i'm so excited about this yeah i wish my parents had taken photos of me so that i actually had a photo of me to compare myself this is why you love a red carpet because you

no one took photos of me you guys you know what jack and i need to be nicer to you because we had parents who were obsessed with us yes i mean hers probably to a level that is different than mine unbelievable unbelievable and unattainable for any other human being on the planet yes but we were both adored by our parents and you listen i know your parents love you so much of course they were just busy they were different yeah they were hustling they were making their living they I just can't believe that I did classical ballet from the age of five to 18, but no one really does in our age. Like I did so many dances. There's not, I have a picture, the one picture of me I have in pointe shoes. I'm sitting on the floor, I'm wearing a showstopper t-shirt and I'm putting

my pointe shoe on and my face is like, cause I'm like just that. Like I did so many Royal Academy of dance ballet exams where you had to be like perfectly coiffed in your black bodysuit, your pink tights, like, like ultimate ballerina and nothing, nothing. And I've like even wrote my ballet teacher. I was like, did you happen to snap a picture? No, you didn't. Yes. Cause I just, she's like, who is this? She's like, who are you? No, but this is now you get to just create your own memory of who you were. It's true. Like, and you know, it's going to be probably better than what it was. You know, speaking of childhood pictures, my dad always said that when I was little i had like strawberry blonde hair and i always and no one agreed like i don't it was this

weird thing where i was like i think my dad doesn't understand hair color like because get him a color as i got older it was like he would mention something or i think it was him but anyways i ford is having like some red notes in his hair pretty and i was like did they swap our embryos i don't know anybody in our family with red hair but then my sister and i digitized all of our pictures for our parents and i found pictures of myself from when i was very little redhead so i now can confirm this is my child this is my dna thank goodness i wonder how often they screw that up i i they screwed it up in uh the ivf place that my mom went to no they like swapped people's babies or embryos my god because now you can know like i was thinking recently about

people that have affairs like prince prince harry and lady diana like people always say that for harry's not charles's baby yeah but it's like you can pretty much prove that well yeah it's called a paternity test okay here we go there i am oh yeah that's red hair let me see it's it's reddish isn't that weird so cute you're basically jerry you know what that could make you go viral on tiktok have you seen jack's tiktok about jerry's color all you have to do is say that you are a ginger and then like i was a ginger baby because look at his hair it's a little gingery look at him in this we put him in oh yeah that is definitely right that's really cute so yeah that's um new developments finding things out about myself through old photos thanks to my

parents all right sorry you don't have any kelty you'll never be able to do so sorry but yeah like three photos history yep and the lineage dies with me i'm not having kids my brother isn't having kids. Oh, wow. So like, also maybe it's good that I don't have any photos. Like when I did my will not to get like sad, but I was like, who am I going to leave stuff to? I have an amazing collection of designer handbags. Yeah. Me and Becca. We'll be dying to, I mean, I will. If I have a daughter, do you want me to make her your God daughter so that you can do things? Yes. But you have a niece too though. I have a niece, but she's not into fashion right now. And it's just, it's hard for me it's hard for me it's hard for me she's not into fashion how old is she she's 11

yeah that's no one's into fashion at 11 like going to limited to like the rest of us well that was being into fashion yeah that's into fashion right that was my foray into fashion same limited to anyway this was fun we're still signing we've been signing this whole time oh my god how many things making me very very hungry we've probably done a thousand yeah okay Anyway, I just put night. This is where I got tired. Oh, wow. Just last name.

We got to end this episode. Okay. All right. Bye. We weren't here for a long time. We're here for a good time. We're here for a good time. Bye.

Thanks for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber, Steve Delameter, and Jared Monaco. Make sure you subscribe, rate, and review our podcast. And if you love it, share it with your friends on social media. Like, oh, my God, I just listened to Lady Gang. This episode's so great. Swipe up to listen. And if you really want to, which we know you do, please follow us on social at Kelty, at Becca, at Jack Vanek, and at The Lady Gang.

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