LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Everything is F***ed

Episode Date: May 26, 2022

The ladies discuss the heartbreaking events from the week and Keltie opens up about why she’s been in Canada. Check out our great sponsors! Coors Light: Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Drizly or Instacart by going to coorslight.com/lady  Progressive: Quote today at Progressive.com to try the Name Your Price® tool for yourself!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, Lady Gang. It's Becca. Before we start this episode, I just want you to know that this episode does contain conversations about mental health, the recent events in Texas, and we just wanted you to be aware before you pressed play. It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, The Hollywood Girl Posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. hello hello hello welcome to lady gang i'm becca here with jack and kelty it's a quickie you know we have a plan for this quickie but i it's real life is happening to the lady gang this week and i really want to just you know sometimes you guys like to hear about our real lives so let's just like dig into like what's actually going on so alex is a bridesmaid at a wedding and i can imagine

that many of you are going through this where she went to the bridesmaid dress store and she's between two sizes of the bridesmaids dress yes and i don't know what i was about to say effery but i'm gonna say witchery oh i caught myself i don't know what witchery bridesmaids dress size charts that are made on but like they're not for the rest of the world like we should just be using the size charge from the gap or target but we're not using that there's like this whole different canum drum that they measure so they measured alex and she was between two sizes and they were like you should get this lower size and she was like are you sure because if i'm between maybe we should just go up and the lady's like no absolutely not you're this size so she orders

the dress and as you know these dresses take six months and you get them like right before the wedding and you pray to god they fit she puts it on the dress is too small now alex is a poly pocket she runs like an hour every day she's a tiny little person i'm shocked that there's a dress size that's too small for her really honestly i was like who fits in that dress maybe it's like when you have a what's it a junior bridesmaid like a child like when my sister was too old to be a flower girl but too young to be a bridesmaid she was a junior bridesmaid in our friend's wedding and i did not even know that was a thing yeah she was like fifth grade like she doesn't have boobs yet like this is not a size meant for a lady you know no no so she calls me

and she's like i called you before i called your mom because i know you know gowns and i was like i'm so touched thank you so i came up with anyway so she's going to get on a train to new york city to get this dress fit but the good thing is is that when you get these bridesmaids dresses they have they're so long becca you understand this they're so they're so long that they always give you like five or six inches because you're gonna figure out what heel you're gonna wear and then you get it done so she can take the whole bottom and then do a panel in the side to like open up the bodice oh but it's like who has time for this you know but that's i used to do that a lot of time on with my dresses on the red carpet like people do that all the time and then it's under

your armpit you can't really see it it's the same color it's the same fabric because when they make these dresses you would think they would be smart enough to put a big inseam in or a seam in so that people could take it out four inches if they need to or take it in yeah but they don't because they want to purposely screw you because weddings are meant to be super stressful and they're like, ha ha ha. They want you to spend all that extra money, you know, get those alterations. Probably a $400 dress. She's never going to wear again. I mean, it is cute, but it's like, oh my God. So poor Alex, poor Alex, we feel for you. She has to take time off work to do these things. And she's not, not going to tropical vacation. It's going into New York city. I don't

I don't know how I'm going to count the F-bombs today. I got to go do my bridesmaid's dress. That's the f***ery of the bridesmaid's dress. But then in real life, this situation with the school shooting, like it cannot be like there aren't enough words to describe what's going on. There aren't enough. I just keep literally looking at Ford and crying, thinking about sending him off to school one day and him not coming home.

Like, what the – is happening? I am – I guess I'm just feeling like terrified that this thing – it's a cycle, right? Like this horrible thing happens. We all donate and we post and everyone's up in arms. And then a week later, it's like nothing ever happens. And I just don't understand because I was up at 4 o'clock in the morning feeling my feelings last night and I was looking and – don't quote me. I'm not in newswoman mode. But something like 90 percent of people in the States actually do want like a background check for these kinds of things.

Nobody is saying like, hey, if you're a hunter or if this is your sport or if this is your passion, you can't do that passion. It's just like when I was a kid and I wanted to drive my parents' motorboat at the lake, you have to get a boating license. Like you're not allowed to just drive a boat on a lake. You have to actually like show that you're – You need a driver's license to drive a car. You need a driver's license. Like nobody is saying you can't have this as your passion. They're just saying like, hey, let's make it so that not everyone can just go be open to this.

And if 90% of the country, like that's millions and millions of people feel that way, I really like, it breaks my heart because that means 90% of the country is like so frustrated today. You know, this isn't a 50-50 thing. Everybody just feels so helpless because it's like, you can get so outraged. You can donate, you can do all these things. And then we've seen it time and time again that nothing ever gets done. So it's like, what can you actually do? and it's just such a disconnect between the powers that be and like a normal citizen of like

what what can we do well i think it's this is actually a really interesting conversation guys and i'm gonna kind of lead into my week because um you know you feel so powerless and i actually obviously i'm up in canada i'm back in dr business's bedroom and um i've had some family shit going on and i spent many hours in the er this weekend um and i was talking to some of the nurses. And I was like, what can I do? Like, like, what do you need? Do you need me to buy you sheets? Do you need me to buy blankets? There's not holes in the blankets. Do you need me to buy like, I'll donate such a shitty situation at the hospital, right? Right. It's, it's absolutely brutal. And, and she, uh, I was talking, I was like two 30 in the morning to this nurse, Tammy.

And she said, you know, I think people, once they get the care they need, they forget to actually do the work and she's like you know you can write your in in canada you have your mla which is like your senator essentially she's like you can write letters you can when it comes time to voting you can you know you can look at the budgets you can you can you can you know do all these things and it's sort of like we get so lucky right like this is going to pass for us this the school shooting will pass these are not our children you know we will this will pass for us And then the same thing with like this horrible thing that I just experienced will pass and then you'll forget and you'll get busy in your life and you won't write the letter and you won't go to change things because you're just like, oh, well, I'm okay again, you know? And it's really important that we do do that work and keep on people, you know, and keep using our power and especially us, you know, with the little bit of notoriety we have.

Like for me being, being home in Edmonton, like, you know, in LA, I'm a Zed list, but in Edmonton, I, you know, I'm, I'm underneath Leslie Jones and the guy that's on young and the restless, as far as like Canadians that made it. So like I, I could write the newspaper. I, you know, I sat, I sat while I was, you know, in the hospital, I sat kind of writing an essay because I was like, maybe one day I can put this out there and it can really explain what it's like. Sorry.

I know I'm mixing gun violence and hospitals. And I know that's like a little, no, no, no, no. There are parallels meaning like when you're outraged and you feel that something is so unfair and so quite frankly, just effed up. Um, there's, it's, it's true. It's like with anything, when you get really outraged over, like even the smallest things, it passes in two seconds. I mean, this is something massive. And even though it's going to last a lot longer in the zeitgeist, it's still going to pass. And it's with your situation. It is reminding yourself to remember your feeling in the moment and have that be your motivation behind everything that you do and all your intentions with this topic. Yeah. You texted

me something interesting about the hospital and you said, I can't wait to like basically fund a new psych hospital for this part of the country. It's needed. It's terrible. And that's what I really want to do. And that's when I'm so, so impressed by individuals who go and they take all that and they do it. Like you have so many ideas of grandeur. I'm not saying that you're not going to do this. I do believe you as Kelty Knight is going to, you're going to make a difference, but we've all had those moments of having. And so it's, you have to be that person in your life that is going to do the thing that you say you're going to do, especially in these moments of, this is just quite frankly, like not okay. It's a really interesting thing. Like I've

lived in both healthcare, healthcare systems, America and Canada. And sorry guys, this is not the funniest podcast today, but this is nobody really is funny today. Yeah. Great. So I've lived in both health systems and they both suck for different reasons. Um, the really hard thing about the Canadian system is that you can't just like get the specialist that you want, Right. Like when you need a knee surgery, you're on the list and you're waiting for the knee surgery unless you're like an Edmonton oiler. And so it's the same thing. It's a fucking travesty with mental health because, you know, the only way to get the help you need is to go to the emergency room. guys let me describe the emergency room for 36 hours with someone and i we were not alone there were people that were in a mental health crisis on both sides of me all night long i would say 75 of the er was mental and then there was a broken leg and a person who i think burnt

themselves on the barbecue it was a terrible burn but you know like it was mostly people that had we're either on drugs, we're drunk, or we're in absolute psychosis. So you come in and first of all, you wait for two, three hours in the waiting room. So you're in bright lights, tons of noise, the TV's on, the hockey game's on, people are coming, going, doors are slamming. That's not good. Then when you finally get back, you're like, okay, finally they called my name. It's going to be better. They take you and they put you on a chair, they take all your vitals. and then i'm like begging i'm like could we maybe lay down somewhere they they don't have enough beds and there is no place for anyone that's doing mental health to go so you're just in a bed in the

hallway so it's a stretcher in the hallway my stretcher is across from slamming doors and can you imagine what 35 beeping machines sounds like at one time for someone that's having something with their brain and this is not their fault like every beep beep beep nurses are coming by and then the nurses i gotta be honest with you they're incredibly mean and they're mean because they're exhausted yeah they are i had this first nurse i met i was like wow you shouldn't be a nurse and then i met i talked to her 12 hours later and she was like you get to a point being in the emergency room my only care is keeping people alive i can't even care that you're hurting that your people are worried about you, that you're in pain, that you're freaking out, that this is not a great

place for you right now that, you know, she's like, I just have to keep the hearts beating because we're so understaffed. Everyone quit during COVID. There's no nurses. People are working like 12 hour shifts, seven days a week. There's no help. There's no doctors. I saw one doctor come around in 36 hours. Wow. The nurses are keeping these people alive. And, and then on top of that, there's all the idiots who are coming to the emergency room for things that they're not emergencies. Okay. Yeah. And that's so tough because then they're probably giving just the amount of space and time and whatever, as somebody that's like literally dying in Canada. It's like, I understand that when someone comes in and maybe there's something

going on in their brain that they're not number one. Like I get that a heart attack is first. I get that you've been, you know, God forbid, I'm saying stab shot at this point. God, who knows what's going to happen. Like, yes, that person is going first. You know what I mean? But people, if you have a rash, do not go to the emergency room. Please wait until the morning and go to your doctor. Like what is happening? It was just bananas. But you know, for me, it's like, I really believe that there needs to be a place in the emergency room where when someone comes in, you know, it's this invisible illness, right? Like you come in and you're awake and your heart's beating and you look fine i mean you don't look fine but like you look like a normal tired

person right but it's like you can't see how bad and how traumatizing this is for someone so it's like what if in that emergency room there was a ward where when it's for mental health you could go and the beds are dark and the beeping is minimal and you're you know enclosed somewhere where you feel safe like it's just not fair for these people to be out in you know in the world into these like bright spaces that are banging and like it's torture i said to the charge nurse i was like we have to move this person because like we're we're torturing this person this is like what i assume they do actually it's what do you remember that movie that show homeland with mandy and they would like kind of torture people on that show and what did they torture with them

they kept them awake they shone bright lights at them they put loud noises at them like you're literally torturing a person so I am committed like I've already been in touch with the head of the

Covenant Health and like already wrote them and like I'm gonna we're gonna make the Kelty night I mean maybe I won't name it after myself that seems like a little douchebaggy but we're gonna make

some sort of thing where people that are struggling that need this emergency help can go but they're also safe while they wait because the waits are there's gonna be a wait no matter what

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Because it's not, I just broke my leg or fell off a ladder. Yeah. Well, I think this is where we really fail people. And it's mental health month, so this is a good conversation to have. because, um, cause I think there's, you know, unless you've known someone in your life or are an expert on it, it's very difficult to understand like what is serious and what's not. And then on top of it, and I mean this with like all of my love and my heart for people that are struggling with substance abuse, but they, the people that are dealing with mental illness and the people

that are dealing with substance abuse are looped into one thing, right? So often you're looped in with the person who's drunk you're looped in with the person who is on meth you're looped in with the person that you know is needs to detox like and not on i mean in my case anyway like that's not what we had well not all people with severe mental illness are using substances right and so you get so i think when people are seen at first it's like oh it's just a drunk because you kind of have the same thing you're out of it you don't know what's going on you're slurring you're like not feeling your best. Like, so how do they know how serious you are? You know what I mean? And so it's a really unfortunate thing. And the other thing that I thought about a lot was just like,

you have to have someone to advocate for you. I did watch so many people come in. There was a woman next to me. I mean, I don't know if this is against the rules or whatever, but whatever. She was in the, she was in the stretcher next to us and I heard her talking and she was like, i'm i'm not feeling well like i'm i i need to be hospitalized like i'm suicidal and you know like and she was talking and talking talking but she didn't have anyone with her to tell her story so she's this person in this mental state trying to explain what's going on with her right and by the end of seven hours the doctor was like okay here's a pamphlet and here's you know like here's a psychiatrist i want you to see and we're gonna up your meds and sent her on her way me i came in

with a goddamn file folder. And I was like, here is all the things that have gone on. Here's what I want. And the minute they were like, oh, well, and I was like, absolutely not. We're never leaving. We're not like I was advocating. That's why it was almost harder on me because I was having to be like begging people to help us, you know? Yeah. And so can you imagine if you are a lot of times people that are in a mental state are alone, their, their family's been alienated from them they're crazy and people have had enough this is probably not the first time they're going to get help and they can't they're already being terrorized by the lights and sounds and people and all these things and then they're trying to explain to someone what

they need like this is an impossible situation for these people yeah you know like i thank god i was there advocating but like what are you supposed to do yeah imagine if you weren't and what care that would have been given if you weren't there doing that yourself and pushing and pushing and pushing it probably would have been sent on with a little bit of medication as well. And then imagine what could have happened. It's, it's really like heartbreaking. And I did watch it happen all night that I was like, wow, that person really needs help. And they're not going to get the help they need tonight because they, no one's going to understand. Um, you know, long story short, poor mental health people. I love you. I see you it's mental health awareness month. And I

was like you know it what's good about the this time in our lives is that there is less stigma like people 30 years ago they just they just got locked up you know what i mean like you just got put in like a whatever they call the loony bin whatever but like you know now it's this is like you know i have a thyroid thing i have a whatever and like people just have a thing like your your brain is just not working right you know it's not anyone's fault so yeah well and you talking about it even in this conversation it's i'm sure a lot of people have learned something that they did not know if they don't have somebody close to them that's experienced something like this so it's like these are the kind of conversations that you need to be having to move the needle forward even

a little bit yeah and it's so easy to just say like oh this person is whatever you know and i'm like that's that's not actually true um and the other thing is just like my respect for nurses i always had respect for nervous nurses of course you know like when you've had times where you've had to be in the hospital or you've been sick like they're amazing right and even during covet i remember lady gang we sent out all these nurse packages and we're like the lady gang nurses like go get them until you sit in an er for 36 hours and watch the people do their 12-hour shift go home and then come back like their their life sucks yeah that's the worst job i can't i mean there's probably worse jobs like maybe being a sewer person but like people are yelling at you people

are yelling at you everyone's important right everyone thinks their shit is the most important shit yeah there's no thankfulness and then people leave and then you're just forgotten like yesterday at night i had the night off so i went to the real canadian superstore shout out joe got this sweater because i have no clothes with me and um i bought like five hundred dollars worth of tim horton gift certificates and like today i'm gonna go back to the er and like give all that i wrote down all the nurses names and like you know it's but like not saying that i get a medal for that but like once you're well you forget that the people who helped you you know what i mean it's so true it's very true no i remember like being in the hospital when ford was born and like that's a

99 of the time it's very like it's a happy place to be because babies are being born and yes there's definitely some shit that goes down and some really sad shit um but you would see these nurses get off of their shift go home and come back and having just even feeling bad that they were doing that let alone not working in the er so it's unimaginable what that would be like and thank god they exist i know thank god and i can understand why no one they're short nurses because no one's going to be nurses like nobody wants to be a nurse no one's like hey you know what i want to do get abused by people for 12 hours at a time in the middle of the night like yeah it's like them and school teachers they should be getting paid more than all of us and podcasters that's

for sure oh my god yeah so anyway um it's been kind of a week and then and it was funny because i haven't been on my phone at all and then i'm like flipped on instagram and i'm like this school shooting what like i know it's all very surreal yet it's real it's the reality so i just how are you guys sorry i don't know it's fine i mean that's that what what you're going through is very, very real. Like my stuff is so like inconsequential, you know what I mean? Like Zach's traveling all week and I had the baby by myself. And it's so interesting when something like that happens, how your entire perspective shifts. Like two nights ago, I was kind of like, Oh my God, go to sleep, you know, like go to sleep so I can take a shower

and whatever. But then last night I'm just like holding him and I'm literally just looking at him crying and crying and crying and thinking about how absolutely terrible, how fucked up, sorry, there's no other word, how fucked up it is that there are parents who didn't get to do that last night. And it's happened so much. And not to say that before I had a kid, I couldn't understand. It's very obvious. It's not hard to know that that is excruciating. But now after having a baby, it's like, I can't even breathe that moment. It's like thinking about the possibility of something like that. And so it's just horrible. And we love the Lady Gang because you guys are such an amazing community that rallies behind things that matter. And if this podcast has

meant anything to you and it has ignited a little bit of more fury and rage, which it should, um please join us in staying active and on top of this right now money talks and there's a go fund me for the families of the victims and granted it's just money and that's never going to bring their children back but it it does help even in a minuscule way to not have to think about finances when you're dealing with a trauma and a loss so huge um and then every town is an organization who is putting in the work to try and change these laws and make things change and make, make it so that you never hear about this kind of news again. And you never have to worry about somebody going into a grocery store or a church or a school or whatever it is. Um,

we just are sending you a lot of love and thank you for joining us. And, um, yeah, that's all we can say. We love you. Happy mental health, mental health awareness month because holy yeah i love you guys i love you we're really proud of you kelty what you did this week is not easy and most people will never know what that is like so yeah day strong don't forget to ask for help also for you guys out there that's a really important thing to do and check in on your friends who are in a in a place right now that's not amazing Or friends that you think Might not even be in a place

Just check in on everybody Just check in Sending you love Mwah Thanks for listening The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber Steve Delameter

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