LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Getting Progressively More Vain Each Week

Episode Date: June 7, 2018

Jac's found another murder special to watch and Keltie learns to stop worrying and love the bath bomb before giving their take on the fashion of Zebra stripes, budgeting versus spending, and the less-than-glamorous aspects of being a woman. And don't worry--the cat screech is gone! Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and you can email Jac, Becca and Keltie at Hello [e-mail]!  And thank you to today's sponsors: Amazon = Go to amazon.com/shop/ladygang to find their favorite products while keeping the podcast FREE!  Brooklinen = Get $20 off AND free shipping when you use promo code lady at Brooklinen.com  LaCroix* = For more information join the LaCroix community at @lacroixwater or check them out at www.LaCroixwater.com  Tamara Mellon = Visit TamaraMellon.com and enter promo code LADY for $100 off your first order   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, the following podcast is a Lady Gang Network and Podcast One production, which means it's going to be awesome. It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to The Lady Gang. I am Becca Tobin here with Kelty Knight and Jack Vanek.

It's your weekly quickie. are you guys liking your weekly quickies we hope so people people are listening the same amount are listening right i thought people would be like it's too much like they're too much a quarter you guys are too annoying yes i can't take more than an hour a week but the same amount of people that are like listening to the og tuesday podcast are now coming to listen to the quickie and that means they really like us because we never have guests for the quickies yeah yeah they just like just us they like us for us oh you love us so accepted um okay so you ready for your inspiration we need our inspirational quote please let me go to my pin board don't let me pull it up i know

i feel like so much pressure mostly when you just pull these from your instagram now or you have a pinterest i have a pinterest board well i've always had a pinterest board called inspiration it's like my jack wisdom but like for actual but like not like happy things it's not funny either it's sad sorry it's not sad it's wonderful being inspired by the things that you love is not a flaw okay are you ready yep oh my god let's go what jesus ready yeah it's just a bunch of silence a woman is unstoppable after she realizes she deserves better oh true that but like when does it end do you know what i mean do i go home tonight and tell zach would i be unstoppable i don't think i would i think my life would come to your life

sounds like a slow down pretty fast pretty quick uh demise i feel you kelty but you know it's like yeah knowing your worth know your worth girls it takes a long time bitches i really don't know anybody who figures it out ever in your 20s forget about it forget it oh my god no way you're never ever going to feel that good about yourself you might have good days yeah and you might have a little delusion and there may be delusion there's a lot of delusion like i look back on pictures of me at 24 when i thought i was hot ass shit and i had like no hair no it is so true you like on box dyed mullet there's certain yeah but there's certain like if you're insecure about your looks in your 20s you might not be insecure about career stuff or vice versa but you're always

you're always gonna feel i feel like in your 20s you're always just gonna feel like you're not worth whatever it is that you're wanting right in your 30s you feel like you're worth it and you're just frustrated why you're getting it yes a hundred percent oh my god that's a mere why is no one giving me what i finally realized i deserve but it's it's everybody and i feel like this no matter who you are and what you're trying to do everybody feels like they're behind and that they could be doing so much more whether that's if you're a mother or you're like strong in your career or whatever relationship wise you always feel like there's something more you can do but it's like you just have to accept that we're all human it's really hard um speaking of what are we

grateful for oh god what was mine oh i know what i'm grateful for what i'm grateful for a new netflix show what is it these are getting like progressively more shallow and shallow as we go every week for this guy is that what they're talking about myself uh evil genius did you guys watch it no oh it is so good i mean what's it about so it's like a true crime show obviously because that's all i watch it's about a bank heist in erie pennsylvania in 2003 that this guy walked into a bank with a bomb strapped to his chest i heard a podcast about this story oh really my favorite murder told this story it's wild i mean the guy has been trying to follow this woman that was part of it around for like 10 years and she is like the most like diabolical psychopath

it's insane four episodes I binged it in one night it's incredible I'm going to watch it tonight it's like making a murderer like Jinx kind of vibes so good

I'm going to take it to a serious place I'm so thankful for something that I slept on for my entire life until this year what?

bath bombs I slept on them I slept on them I thought I would go into a Lush or wherever they sell a bath bomb or someone would

gift me a bath bomb and I was like what is this crystallized ball of laundry detergent doing why do you what a waste of space it also doesn't stack so i can't organize it like where you throw them in like a basket where am i supposed to put these like i didn't know and then when i injured

my hand i had a couple different friends send me care packages and like apparently people are like oh you're hurt here's a bath bomb which i appreciated and so i have been bombing my bath number one they smell delicious number two they make your bath a cool color that you could give no about this story yeah they do have the one that makes your water black that's pretty cool oh well it's like a charcoal you would like that well it was like for halloween or something like that oh anyway bath bombs i see you i feel you i enjoy you send them my way didn't you get one from what's your favorite i got a med one i haven't used yet i'm scared because i did the body scrub i got like a body wash scrub invigorating right and i put it all over my body and scrub

myself and then i was like really i don't know if it was just i stayed in the bath too long and i was like hot too long yeah overheated yeah what do you think before i mean what do you have gratitude for my great stories about bath bombs no here's my gratitude so i absolutely loathe so many things obviously same obviously we need a t-shirt that just says i obviously loathe so many things obviously that is my life i loathe i that's your tagline i can't my gratitude circle is hard it's hard for me but here's what i don't love the fact that i married someone who loves doing most of the things that i hate it's weird oh that's wonderful he really likes grocery shopping i really hate it he really likes doing yard work let me tell you something if you look

at me and say to me let's do some gardening this weekend i will find a reason to not be alive like i do not want to be outside in the sun aging rapidly digging holes of things that are just gonna die i don't want to go to home depot and pick out perenniums and synthiums i don't give a flying rats that's great that he does because i don't know if any other man in the world likes gardening he loves it so much that he spent the entire weekend doing it and i really needed the backyard to look presentable because we had some people over i was not about to do it and so i would be broke if i were paying somebody to take my care of the yard or what little of a yard we have but he just like he just does it did you do it like shirtless he does do it sometimes sometimes

he does so damn well he's also somebody who tans in three seconds i hate that it is jealous so annoying he looks like another another race right now because he did yard work and i just i sat out there and got sunspots and you're like have fun with your freckles baby he doesn't want to get freckle that's very annoying he has that weird uh ethnicity he has a lot of native american and there's something do you get freckles elena yeah it's like their skin is just elena wears giant sunglasses when it's cloudy i know but you gotta protect that face that's true you don't really sit in the sun do you i hate it she hates the sun today i was like oh it's a little cold she's like i love this weather this is my favorite weather i would prefer this weather to anything else

you need to live in the poor she loves well we're not letting you yeah you can tell you that okay when we come back we're going in the box what's in our box don't shake it too hard what's in the lady gang box what's in the box okay we're back oh this is a very inventive question oh inventive zebra stripes as fashion oh gross you're practically wearing them sounds like something i would love right now let me see these leggings these aren't zebra stripes they're like cheetah wait it's cheetah but then it has like new stripes i don't like the stripes in this though i would just like a cheetah i like a zebra stripe i had zebra stripe pant i actually sewed myself a pair of zebra striped pants when i was a kid you're such

bell bottoms during your emo phase no when i was like child child 12 oh i'd wear them if i had them still they're coming back but zebra's back some i saw something in zebra recently i feel like either it has to be a designer zebra couture or none yeah yeah like give it you can't be like a legitimate zebra three thousand it has to be from an actual zebra yeah but no you can't i think something zebra printed from forever 21 yeah no yeah right maybe something like a gucci bag that It's a zebra stripe. Don't bring me a Zara suit in a zebra print. Ooh, a two-piece suit?

That would be cool. Sounds terrible. I'd wear it. Okay, so what do you think? I can't wait to wear it on TV all the time, and everyone can enjoy the Jack Vanek of fashion. Oh my god, I can't wait. I'm most excited about it. Have you already bought low-cut tracksuit, plunging neckline outfits?

Jump suits? Yeah. Good. Duh. She's ready. She's so ready. Amazing. I'm not a big fan of zebra stripes.

Rude. Red. Okay. Oh, from zebra stripes to something real serious, saving and budgeting. Gross. That's not my fault. Gross. Well, I do listen a lot of the time to Dave Ramsey's podcast.

He is the master at telling you how to pay off debt, what percentage of your paycheck should be going to savings, what you should be investing in. Shout out Dave Ramsey. Come on, lady girl. Dave Ramsey, he would literally scare us straight right now. No. Is he the one that says to pay for everything in cash? Yes. Because he does not believe in debt.

He doesn't believe in owing anybody anything. What about your house? No. He's like a firm believer in paying for cash. You can't pay for cash to buy a house in LA. Sometimes he says, well, a market like LA, he will justify like a hefty, hefty down payment. Right. Like a half or something.

Uh-huh. But the only debt, like when he has people say that they are out of debt, it's everything usually up to their mortgage. So their cars are paid off, credit cards, student loans, whatever. So yeah, Dave Ramsey, I have to say, is like the only person that I've listened to that makes it really kind of simple. And he has an app for budgeting. I think it's called EveryDollar. Those apps and also Mint. I like Mint a lot because I hook it up to all my bills.

Also, auto pay. For keeping your credit stable or improving it, a lot of the time all that takes is setting up auto pay and just not even having to think about it every month. Yeah. Because it really does help. And I'm not a really great person when it comes to budgeting and savings. I'm definitely not the person to ask. Kelsey's a master at it. That's not true.

I have always been a saver, though. I'm like a doomsdayer. And so even – I can remember even when I was living in New York and I was so poor, I was putting $25 a week from my like go-go dancing $125 into a savings account. See, but that's great because you can do it at any level though. Right. So it doesn't – I think people get overwhelmed and they're like, oh, I should have all these thousands of dollars in savings. But the little bit you put away, if you put it into like a little baby money market or whatever, eventually the interest is going to like start to add up. And I think my advice with – my advice or my thoughts on it are the earlier you start, the easier it gets.

And the earlier you start, even if when you're making $10,000, $15,000 a year, which is like what I was making in New York, I can't believe I lived on like – how did I even afford rent? It was so insane because I lived in a $200 apartment. But like when you're making that little of money just to put a little bit away, at least it makes you be able to sleep at night. I think there's no worse feeling than even when I bought my houses and stuff that you have to hand over that like giant, you've been saving and saving and saving and you hand over this giant chunk of money and we had nothing, you know, like we just, we put everything into the house and there's nothing that gives you anxiety more than being like, I can't pay off.

Like there's something nice about sitting back and being like, oh, if I needed to, I could pay off my car and pay off my credit card right now. I mean, I don't, but like I could, you know? So it takes a lot of the anxiety back. And then as I got a little bit further ahead in my career, it was like $100 a week or whatever. And then over time, you just have this big savings because I read that article that you're supposed to have like twice your salary saved by $35, which is like super overwhelming. Also, who the hell wrote – like what's that based off of? It's just like –

Like you should or people do? Most people don't, but they suggest that you do. I went to an accountant once, Real Talk, and he said that if we could save – I mean this sounds so ridiculous. If you could figure out a way to save $1 million by the time you're 40, like have a million dollars in the bank. If you started at like 20 and like for 20 years saved and the compound interest keeps getting bigger and bigger, that then when you retire at 65, you would have $10 million to retire. But here's the problem with that is that now the interest rates suck. Yes. That used to be true and it's not anymore.

Right. so now i'm gonna five dollars so now it's like i don't have a million dollars it used to be it used to be that if you did have a million dollars in savings you could live on it yeah forever you could live off a hundred thousand dollars a year like ten percent or whatever but yeah i also have a rule where i keep a certain amount of savings always so it's like because i also am in a career where you could literally go nine months and not make a dollar so knowing that i have six months of my life in a savings account that i'll never touch like it's nice to you don't have to do six months if you have a steady job like three months is what they suggest and then you don't have to

feel guilty when you do have extra money and you're not saving it and you can go on vacation because you know that you have that lump sum and i gotta shout out elena my miss ugly instagrams because she's like the i think the most frugal well-dressed person like i know there's feels there's feels like so much pressure to like fit in and have the nice things and we're constantly bombarded with like the things that everyone has but Elena like she just told me we were driving to work this morning and she I was like what'd you do and she goes oh I went to the sale and she went and got these Prada boots and she's like I've been watching them at the Saks off Saks Fifth Avenue and they're $500 and I was never gonna spend $500 on a shoe and then finally it was a

Memorial Day so they were like 20% off and then my mom signed up for that credit card and she got them for 350 and like I think she always gets like she I'm always like how the do you have Gucci shoes on right now but she always like sale hunts and like buy stuff i always buy like all my designer stuff i would never walk into like a fancy store and buy it straight i always buy it second hand or like when there's a deal i can't believe people actually do do that well derek does because she can afford it yeah just like money flowing from every orifice in her body yeah but you know i think there's like just remember that all those people you see with those like really fancy things like most of them are buying them second hand or like or renting them or they're

in like a shit ton of debt and you don't want to be that person i've known girls that have like forty thousand oh no there's a beautiful shoes and i'm like most girls in la they did there's some article on this girl that moved to new york and was trying to be like an instagram influencer or whatever and she went into like fifty thousand dollars of the debt because she was paying for all these like paying for all the things that these people with like millions of followers get for free but it's like you cannot live that lifestyle and you can't compare yourself to people that live that lifestyle on the instagram because it's all fake anyway it's true it's insane so well there's our budget yeah there's your budget it's hard it's not easy

it's also like also don't marry someone who doesn't have a good job i mean i mean a job or somebody's good with their money somebody that could be making a million dollars a year and then they could be in just as much debt as somebody that has a shitty job just but don't don't marry somebody i have a lot of girlfriends who met guys who were not quote like earners and i'm not talking about millionaires i'm not even talking about a hundred thousand dollars a year i'm talking about just somebody who provide like who makes a job because so that you're not paying for you and him like it's i have this is a real thing i have a girlfriend who's a professional dancer who that's not a great salary anyway and

he's been supporting this guy for all these years hell no and like go get a job work at starbucks like you when you pick your partner you want to pick someone that like you're gonna want a guy that has extra money to go travel or like whatever you know what i mean that's important to you you need somebody that's on your level and like your lifestyle otherwise it's just i'm seeing so many of these relationships just get into so much trouble because it's fun at first and you're like i got this babe oh my god that does not sound i did that in my 20s at one point well then what you're gonna have a kid one day and take care of the kid and your husband it does not end well no freaking way and then you split up and it's like just and then you're back to ground zero yeah

yeah okay anyway we love you was it good for you becca we'll see it was here for a good time long time we were here we weren't here we actually um rule follower elena yeah we need one more we need one more question we have three minutes is it that matters oh no yeah we're not gonna skimp these we could try to keep saying we started 308 no i'm 17 minutes she's looking okay oh this is Can you guys tell Kelty's dying to finish? No. Okay. This is a good one.

Worst part of womanhood. I'm going to tell you. It's maintaining all of the things we have to maintain. Bikini waxes. Yeah. Shaving our legs. Not getting fat. Looking pretty without wrinkles.

Having enough money to have Botox so you don't get wrinkles. But then not doing too much Botox so you don't look insane. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. what having babies and your body literally falling apart and everyone expects you to look incredible after i don't know is that all there so i was seeing this guy recently and i was going to get

botox the next day and i am open about getting botox because everybody does it so i was like yeah my mom and i are like doing a mother-daughter botox thing he's like what why would you get botox you don't need it bye i was like because i've been getting it for five years and if i didn't I'd have a billion freaking wrinkles on my forehead and then you would think I'm ugly because all we're doing is to try to stay young and beautiful forever. So we seem attractive, but men look hot with wrinkles and look hot as they age. And there's nothing more frustrating than that in the entire world. There's never a moment in my life where I feel like I'm all taken care of. My nails and my hair and my body, my body hair that I'm supposed to not have, but I do have.

And it's like all of these things. And then it's, and then as soon as you're out of the woods and you look great, then you get like a yeast infection and it's also that hot wax in my vag, now it has upset my pH. Right. And then it's so hard. Cause it's, and we don't want to have to think like that, but society is women so much, especially now.

Cause it's not just magazines. You're looking on Instagram, you're looking at everybody's Photoshop pictures and you're constantly comparing yourself to other people. Even, like, I feel like I'm quite a confident person and I still succumb to that all the time. Yeah. Like, it sucks. And it's expensive. Yeah.

It's like, hmm, am I going to put money in my savings this week or am I going to go take care of my face? Yeah, I'm going to get a facial. I'm getting a facial. It's insane. I'm sorry, guys. I think the worst part of womanhood is when you are on your period and you feel so gross, like, gross, gross, gross, gross, gross. And then your period ends and you're like, yes, I'm free for another 27 days. and then like you're period free for a thursday and then on friday morning that like brown gunk

the leftover period just like gets in a panty and it's like a hanky panky panty that was like 38 of loomingdale's and you're like and now you're ruined goodbye forever comfortable panty and then a nice spotting during when you're ovulating too yeah and then your period comes early and then you're me and you bleed for three and a half weeks and then if you don't bleed you're scared you're pregnant so there's that there's that there's no winning there's no winning but we love being women i would love all the men on the planet to have one period well you remember they're doing they're trying to do male birth control and they stopped the studies because they were having side effects of weight gain and mood swings yeah yeah i just want to take men

this is what we should do on our tv show oh let me get my pen out and make a list i actually men do lady shit yes i have i have girlfriends whose husbands are very particular about how they're groomed how much makeup they wear how often no the men are about like i about their like i have i have a friend whose husband whose husband likes her super super blonde but she's a naturally dark-headed person so she's having to get her hair done all the time and wearing a lot of makeup like oh he likes a glam what and so she's having to do not having i mean she's the idiot for marrying him but she's having to stay on top of her game where a lot of us marry people who are like you look great when you're great and you we don't even notice when you don't

do it but i want to take that guy that husband and make him do all the things he really loves her to have done just pedicures the waxing and let's just like give him a period for like a little bit too or like maybe have to go through like childbirth uh what we could do on the show is we could we could put the men in like a slightly wet damp panty for like 10 hours and they have to walk around with like a little like like as if they're wearing well we should get some electrodes and give some cramps to them as well at the same time let's do it and they could wear their white jeans and like accidentally like have a bloodstain have to hide it in a meeting with a sweater and then they have to take some what could put them in a bad mood some kind of something

Something to make them moody as shit. Then they're so hangry always. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Oh, my God. Men do lady shit. Men do lady shit. It's coming.

Lady men. I'll never forget what I did to prep for Zach's first trip out to L.A. It was honestly insane. Right. It was like the Olympics. It was the Olympics of primping, and he didn't notice. I'm sure he did. He married you.

Well, that would have happened anyway. Now we are done this quick. We're done, guys. That was it. Bye. I was so proud. Bye. We love you.

Thanks for listening. Wasn't here for a good time. That escalated quickly. Thanks for joining us on Lady Gang Quickie. Check out new episodes of Lady Gang every Tuesday and more quickies every Thursday on PodcastOne.com, the PodcastOne app, and Apple Podcasts.