LadyGang - LG Quickie: Girl Code

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

This week we’re breaking down the unspoken rules of girl code—the do’s, the don’ts, and the oh no she didn’ts. From dating exes to spilling secrets, we’re debating what’s sacred, what’s outdated, and confessing our own girl code fails. Grab your bestie, because this one will have you laughing, cringing, and texting her immediately after.We have summer deals for YOU!!Cornbread CBD: Need some relief? Get 30% off your first order at CornbreadHemp.com/lady and use code LADYMacy's: Support Reading is Fundamental by rounding up when you shop in-store or donate at Macys.com/purposeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

it's time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek let's make this quick hello hello hello welcome to lady gang quickie i am becca here with jack and kelty hello hi happy thursday i have the sads why chris just left on a big trip Oh, for how long? He's going, well, seven days, which is like not even that bad. Normally he goes for like three weeks, but I'm especially sad because I'm a little bit of a barnacle Labrador retriever at the moment.

And I need lots of squishing and lots of around time. And I'm like Jack, I'm like touching foreheads while we watch TV. Wow. How does it feel? It feels like a lot. And then this is why I never got emotionally or physically close to anyone in my life, because then it hurts when they leave. so he's not leaving forever no i know it's just he's going to vietnam and japan which is like so

far and it's like the other side of the world so it's like the you know not that we were great at texting anyway but no you just you forget he's gone yeah he's gone yeah sometimes i forget he's gone but not this time i thought your sads had something to do with i never go on tiktok like I'm just I don't scroll but I saw you you posted a TikTok about like I'm not quiet I've heard what you've been saying about me oh yeah this is my new era it's vengeful era okay it's not really about me it's this is my new era it's your persona it's your TikTok persona it's my TikTok persona it's doing very well but it's basically like calling people out on their shit yeah I also saw the tick tock where it's like, I'm, I don't know what the beginning part was like, I called

you out on your horrible behavior. And I was like, what? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen, I do like the them. Are they going to make your book be called the F them theory? You can't use. Great. I'm not ready to announce those details. Oh, well, I think everybody has the details of two. Yeah. I don't have the details. I don't know the answer yet. No, I'm proud. I'm proud of you because I feel like this is you at your core. So I think that really goes to show just being authentic really resonates. A nasty bitch. I don't think it is. No, I think this is Kelty's shadow self. Well, yes. No, it's a part of her, but it exists deep down. Okay. So today on the lady gang. We are going to do a episode called Girl Code. And this is rules that girls have made

because there's been a lot of talk in pop culture lately of like, what is girl code? When can you date the person? When can you love the person? And what I like about this episode is it's not just dating. It's secrets, it's trust, it's friendship, it's everything. Okay. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay. Number one, is it ever okay to date your friend's ex if they swear that they're over it? I don't, I go back and forth with this because I feel like, well, it depends on what people define ex as, because some people think an ex is like anybody that they've been on one date with. And some people think exes are what they actually are like full on ex boyfriends that you've had like real relationships with ex-husbands um and I think like I had this rule with my

friends where it's like you get like two two penetrations no you just get like oh you get to choose between you get to choose the sacred exes that your girlfriends can't touch yes and then everyone else is fair game because I've dated 400 people in my life I can't possibly tell everyone in my life if they so happen to you know bump into them at a bar and some people live in like relatively small town, small city things. And it's, I mean, if Zach and I had had that rule, I mean, I had dated one of Zach's friends. So if Zach's friend was a douche and was like, you can't date her, even though it was 10 years ago and we barely dated then, you know, so it's, it's just case by case. Yeah. And it's like, I think you get the one that like totally

you over or like totally broke your heart. Like you, that that's the one, the one that crushed you that like you'll never be the same like you get that one but like every other guy it's just like like I'm disgusted by every single one of my exes it would be like go ahead yeah you're different Jack no I know you're a softy on the outside but a hardy on the inside no no you're softy both ways but you like most people are not like that most people I just I just get looking at their exes on Facebook hoping they come to the graduation or that's true five-year reunion and they can be hotter. I have like switches and I get like disgusted. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I still, I still think it's, yeah, you get, you can't choose them all. Yeah. And if you're happy

in a new relationship or married, even then you need to have a lot of leeway if for your single friends dating. So if you, you know, like, especially that situation and as long as population. yeah yeah and it's yeah eligible bachelors are pretty much non-existent so like just because you still have feelings for a nice guy that you dated 10 years ago like you can't make them off limits for your friend do you this one I love do you have to tell your friend if you know their partner is cheating probably in those situations I always just put myself in the other person's issues. So if I were with a guy that was cheating on me and my friend knew and didn't tell me, I'd be pissed. I would want to know. Cause otherwise it's just such a weird thing. I mean,

I guess it runs the risk of like ruining a friendship or, you know, all the things. But if you care about your friendship, then you kind of have to be honest with your friend and you have to have concrete evidence. Yes. I think if you have concrete evidence, you know, for absolute sure. Like, I think you have to like, that's being a good friend. It's doing the right thing. And Like you said, like it could end up ruining your relationship if she wants to stay or wants to like not believe it. But like it's I think you have done the right thing by telling her because it's you have to go into it, not trying to blow up their relationship. You have to go into it saying, I love you. I'll love you if you stay.

I'll love you if you guys work through this. Like, I love Ron, you know, whatever. Ron is a cheater. Yeah, Ron is definitely a cheater. okay is it a betrayal to like your friend's ex's new partner's instagram pics yeah yeah yeah the new girl yes yeah is it a friend to like stay social is it weird to stay social media friends with someone's ex here's the rule if okay so say that you know me and jack were friends prior to all of this stuff going down I dated a guy wait no yeah I dated a guy tell us a story story no

like if if if the friend if like if the friend if Jack was already friends and following my ex's current girlfriend like if they if their friendship predated him f***ing me over or us breaking up then you can't expect your girlfriend to then turn her back on the girl no just because you previously yeah if yeah if you bring a friend into the fold like if you bring them into your friend group and they knew nobody previously and then you break up and they did a new person then you can't do that like you need to just ice the guy out like like a good friend would like any time that I've had that kind of breakup it's like everybody mass unfollow get the out of here you weren't our friend you were a boyfriend like I think that's so bizarre when people stay friends

with. Well, it's happening on Housewives of Miami. Larsa Pippen dated Michael Jordan's son for a long time. He threw over, they had a nasty, allegedly they had a nasty breakup and her friend Lisa, who's on the show, continues to follow him and like his stuff and, and hang out with him, even though she met him through Larsa. And there's a whole fight right now with Larsa being like, just unfollow him. Like what, how hard is this? This is what being a good friend is. You unfollow and you stop hanging out. And like, Lisa is being very stubborn about it and she has no leg to stand on and she's an idiot for continuing to follow. It's like, we don't need new friends. Definitely not a man. No, it's cause he's a, it's cause he's Michael Jordan's son.

Cause he's famous. The parties are fun. The jet's fun. Yeah. Even grosser. Okay. Friendship. If a friend tells you a secret, but it involves something illegal or dangerous, do you still have to keep the secret yeah i mean unless here's my rule unless it is hurting somebody else jeffrey epstein then uh you tell me more um if it is hurting somebody else then i think you need to tell somebody like if it's causing violence or causing emotional something but if it's like a you know if it's just like a petty crime then it's like not your responsibility I don't think. Yeah. Okay. Agreed. Um, if you overhear people gossiping about your friend, do you tell them, I have a good piece of advice for this. So I actually, you don't know. I don't

think, I don't want to hear, I don't want to know it as my, uh, other alter ego TikTok said, I know what you're saying about me and I don't care. Um, because it's like, it's like, enjoy, You know what I mean? Like I talk about Taylor Swift every day. I don't really want to tell it to her face. Like, you know what I mean? Like some of this, some of what happens in our daily grind of our life is just fluff. You know what I mean? And it's like this emotional, we're just all trying to get through the goo. And sometimes when you're getting through the goo, you need to process the goo. And sometimes processing the goo is like saying something cunty about someone you actually care about to just, you need to get it out. You can't carry it. You got to let it go.

But however, I recently had something happen to me where and this is the way this my friend handled it And I really loved it. She came to me and she just said hey girl. I gotta tell you something this person You gotta be careful. This person's not your friend. They didn't say what they said about me They didn't say why they're not my friend I mean I could kind of put the pieces together But and it wasn't like and then he said yeah like it wasn't that it was just like hey you think and you thought for a long time this person was like ride or die for you it is not true you need to just put that person in this other box and that to me was very helpful because

you're saying your tiktok was actually happening in your life oh i mean there's a truth to every tick talk there's a truth to every tiktok it's a truth talk is this somebody that like you were really close with previously? Yes. There's lots of people because I have this bad habit, as you know, of thinking that everyone in Hollywood is my friend and thinking they're real friends. And I'm still in that era. This is like a work-ish situation. There was like a work-ish situation where I thought someone was my good friend. And it's just come to my attention that I'm 100% in and this person is keeping me around to help themselves or is like 20% in.

And I just, it's not an equal friendship. And so I just got a heads up. Can't you just use them the way that they're using you? Isn't that what Hollywood is? Yeah, that's what, and now they're in the box. They're in the box of tools I have and they're not in the friendship box. It's two different boxes.

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to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. The Lady Gang. Okay. Lifestyle. Do you always have to invite all of your friends on the party trip or is it okay to exclude? I don't have enough friends to invite Jack. I'd give this to you and Becca. Um, I say, well, I have like just a very closed friend group. There is like 11 of us, no more, no less. It hasn't changed in like 20 years. So I say yes. And then also like nobody can commit

to anything. So by the time you invite 11, you really have two at the end. So I say yes. But would you be like, okay, we all want to go here, but there's only room for 10. Let's not invite Anna. She won't want to go anyway. Like, could you do that? No, no. But like, then all of my friends live all across the country. So if there's like something on the East coast, then I'm like only talking to my East coast

friends. But I know people's friend groups aren't usually like that. Yeah. I think that I'm somebody that has a lot of different groups of friends, like my New York friends, my Austin friends, my LA friends. I think that if everybody falls under the same friend group, like everybody kind of needs to be involved in whatever that thing is. So if all my Austin girlfriends are going on a girls trip or it's like it's either three of us, three of the closest friends, or it's the 10 of us or whatever. So it's like got to make sense.

You know, bullseye. There's like the super closest. And then, yeah, because it's because you're one to your two to your three. friends. But it's like in our group in Austin, you know, me, Jamie and Odie are probably like a nuclear group. And then there's another, you know, three girls in the Austin crew that have the same nuclear friendship. So if the three of them went on vacation together, we'd all be fine. And if the three of us went on vacation, just us, they'd be fine too. But it's like shitty if it's everybody except for one or two girls and there's no rhyme or reason. Yeah. Okay. Is it rude to

Venmo request a friend for something small, like a $3 coffee. Say that again. Is it rude to Venmo request a friend for something small, like a $3 coffee? Yes. Unless it's a friend that's always, always letting you pay for a $3 coffee. Yes. And if that's the case, that's on you to start setting boundaries or maybe standing back it's really hard because like it depends who the friend is I know sometimes you're like at like I I'm thinking about like at a work situation like you're going down and you're like you see someone in line at lunch or you're hanging out or whatever and you're in line for coffee and you're like I don't I guess I'm saying I'll I'll I'll get this one. And then the next time you're like, they never get it. Yeah. That's what you're saying,

Becca. Yeah. So stop offering to get. Yeah. Don't offer anymore. I'm like always the person when we go out, like, I'm like, you know, it always comes back. Like I'll get this round. You get that round. Like it always evens itself out. But then once people start penny pinching, I think I talked about this on pop apologists. Once people start penny pinching, I'm like, you're going to owe me money because I'm always the first person that's like offering to pay for stuff. So it's like, you really want to get down to the nitty gritty, but you know, I think that just goes split a bill evenly at dinner, even though you're not drinking and had a salad. Yeah.

So even I go to dinner with Jack Vanek and she orders one of everything and four drinks, I'm putting the same amount of money in for my kale. No, if somebody, but that's with eating, anytime we go out to eat, everybody, if I'm like doing it with a group of friends, everybody's just like sharing you know to just what if we're not sharing I don't I think it's it's on the people if you're the person that likes to order everything on the menu and you're the person likes to order a bunch of drinks you have to be cognizant of someone who is at that table who's not partaking for sure so it's your job as the person who over orders or who is like you know

luxurious to be like hey just throw me 20 bucks or like hey you don't you don't need to split this cause you didn't drink and you barely ate. So it's, don't just be aware of the people at the table who are not spending a ton of money. Cause sometimes people want to come, but they're on a budget and they're like, okay, I can't, you know, and then, but you don't want to be like, Hey guys, I only had the salad. Or you could be really sneaky and like it, you know, right before the bill comes, get up to go to the bathroom. But before you get up to go to the bathroom, have like cash to throw at somebody that's handling the bill or be like, Hey, I'm going to venue for mine and just take initiative and be like, here, I had a salad and a glass of wine.

Here you go. I think it's very smart if you are that person to just bring enough cash to cover yourself. And then it's like, not even, it's like, here you go. Here's 40 bucks. Yes. And then it's not even a conversation and you don't have to feel weird about it. Should you, this is the hero question. Should you ever loan a friend money? You're never loaning. You're always gifting. So if you can wrap your mind around having that be a gift that you never see again. And if you see it again, it's like a bonus, but if you're okay with parting with the money and you're also okay with not holding onto any resentment when that person goes and buys a new car or, and they still haven't paid you back, you have to expect the worst. I currently have never gifted or gifted loaned

friends money, but cause I haven't been in a situation where somebody like direly needs it. I think it's definitely depends on the situation, but it's like, you know, you're getting into something that's going to muddy up the relationship possibly. So it's very hard. This happened to me. I lent some someone money. It was a small amount of money. They were just in a rough time in their life. And I knew that they were someone that had done this to other friends, like kind of a gone around the friend group. And, but I was like, God, like I have enough of everything. Like this person's really struggling. Like I remember what it was like to be living in New York and being like, unsure that I was going to have enough dollar bills to

count out to pay my rent. You know what I mean? And figuring out like, what, where does that money come from? What can I sell this week? Like, or, you know what I mean? And that's a horrible feeling. And so you don't really, I don't want anyone to struggle like that, especially, but it got less cool. Not cool. Never. It's never cool. It was, it was like hard because I knew in my heart, like I really, and you'd said that before, Becca, like it's a gift. It's not, you're not going to get it back. And it really didn't bother me that I didn't get it back, but it's exactly what you said when they went on to do other things. Like now you're on this retreat or now I see you doing this thing.

And then I'm like, where's my thousand dollars, bruh? You know, I would be so resentful. That's when it like, because if it was me borrowing that money, I would be hiding away until it was all repaid. Like I literally feel that way when my credit card bill comes. I was like, I can't, don't let Amex,

no, see my eye contact. Like I owe them money, you know? Like, I don't know. it's just such a weird thing. And it didn't ruin the friendship, but it, I don't know. It kind of not, it didn't ruin it, but I think it does. Yeah. Well, and unless somebody has fallen on hard times, like if it's somebody that's always responsible with money and they just so happened to like lose their job or come up with like a medical expense, that's so much, whatever. Like you kind of know the people you're loaning to,

like you can kind of anticipate some people are going to be the people that pay you back. and some people just have a shitty relationship with money. So the friend that went on the retreat, it's like, when you give them the money, you're like, listen, it's none of my business how this person operates. They're the one that's being harmed because they're always short on cash. Live your life. I can enable you to a certain extent as long as it's comfortable for me. Yeah. Okay. Well, don't ask Chris for money, but you can ask us for entertainment and love. and that is another episode of the lady gang guess what in the newsletter this week i asked the lady gang what they want to hear oh is it allegedly what's happening is it guests is it

experts is it just us chatting and 97 of the people said just us chatting so why did we work so hard for 10 years well we didn't know that we had to like you know i really thought you wanted to see janine you know janine whatever her name is okay we weren't here for a long time we were We're here for a good time. Social support from Kali Correra. Editing from Jared Monaco. Producing from Steve Delameter. And iconic hosting, creating, and being the gang gang of all gangs by Becca Tobin, Jack

Vanek, and Kelty Knight. Kelty Knight support by Derek Haley. I'm Justin Sylvester. And I'm Blakely Thornton. Join us for Yesterday's, the podcast where we break down the most pivotal pop culture moments in history and give them the queer love that they deserve. The things that got us riled up during dial-up. Those make-outs that should have been break-outs.

And the drops that were cemented in pop. I'm talking Bennifer. Tyra versus Naomi. Tom Cruise jumping on that couch. And so much more, so please rate us, subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get audio-related content. We also take Venmo. And Cash App. ACH?

Or credit card number as well. We're malleable, you know? We're gay today.