LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Goodbye Kitty Wilde

Episode Date: May 25, 2023

In a little therapy session with the ladies, Becca is contemplating if she wants to continue acting eight years after Glee. While this leaves Keltie slightly heartbroken, Jac is putting life and happiness into perspective.  Check out our amazing sponsors!!! SKIMS: Go to SKIMS.com - place your order - and select "podcast" from the dropdown menu! Plus, get free shipping on orders over seventy five dollars! Just Thrive: Get 20% off a 90 day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic and Just Calm at justthrivehealth.com with promo code: LADYGANG Chime: Sign up for a Chime Checking Account at Chime.com/lady  Be one of the first 150 people to get a $10 gift card when you fill out a quick survey at PodcastOne.study See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And we also like to reward our listeners, which is why we are offering a $10 gift card to the first 150 people who will fill out a quick survey at podcastone.study. So please just take a few minutes to visit podcastone.study and tell us what you think. time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik let's make this quick hello hello hello welcome to lady and quickie i'm back here with jack and

kelty guys i went off my skin meds what what's your lack of i feel like you are someone who goes on and off meds all the time just antidepressants well i feel like well here's the thing i don't like to rely i don't like to be on something for a really long time right because then you end up like me then bones are dust but i'm still on my psoriasis medicine because that feels like risk reverse reward is very high my skin medicine i'm finding out it also is a very high reward and i need to go back to it i just go off of it i just was like i want to see because it's the it's essentially like a hormonal thing yeah yeah so i feel like my hormones change so radically especially in this time of our lives i feel like there's a big change i mean the big

change is coming but i feel like every day yes every day is a new day and so i was like well maybe i'll be okay and my my skin's used to being in texas now because i think a lot of my breakout was the humidity yeah but it turns out i'm just a zitty person who needs pharmaceuticals and it's upsetting she's zitty i'm zitty do you get like clear and then you're like no no i'm fine it's fixed and like you i've never gone off of it before so i've been about a year on steadily is that something you're supposed to take forever or is it something you're supposed to go like on and take forever um that's it's not like an accutane where it's like a vomit and be done it's like a study like every day i think people stay on it for years damn is there any part of

you that feels like it's time to bomb it for accutane like a light does accutane help when it's like hormonal like this helps everything no i don't think i'm ready for that i also don't care enough about the only time i really care is if i'm on camera because then it's just annoying to always have zits you have to cover up yeah but now that i'm retiring from acting i actually may not I need us to talk about this do you feel like how real is this I feel the most okay like I'll give you an example there have been in the how many years has it been since Glee almost 10 years whoa eight years since Glee ended and I've never said I'm done with acting never in that entire time I've been pissed off at it I've been like over it but I've never been like I think I'm good

I think I'm done. And I've certainly have never felt that way on the set of something, you know, like that's a different thing. And I will say, I've heard of things coming up, like opportunities, rumblings of things where I swear to God, there's not even a little part of me. That's the, the old me would have been like, my hope is alive again. Like this is the thing, or this is the thing. Like I'm sort of like indifferent. And so that's the thing is that I'm like, I just don't have something died. Is it because of this last job? And is it no die at the job?

No, I think that the reality, and this is what Kelty was talking to me about in the beginning of the day today, like before we started recording was, you know, I was like, I think I'm, I'm done. Like I've, I've done these like movies, which I'm so grateful. Like I don't ever want this to come across as like not being grateful, but I think we're all allowed to talk about real things and how things make you feel. So doing a three week shoot of a TV, a movie that's going to be on TV is while it's enjoyable, it's like as an artist, it's not the most fulfilling thing in the world.

I have fun. I love being on set. I have fun with my peers. I have a lot of respect for every single person in the room. kelsey's like well maybe you're done because you haven't gotten that thing that's like that you can express it's like an expressionism piece like for the artist in you yeah that big show that big thing that like you know it's like the character like character yeah like white lotus like what if that's around the corner like all those things and it's like i have to be less tom sandoval right

now and be like the reality of it is is that my acting career has consisted of the majority in the last five years of this type of acting which i've been grateful for but if the next five years if i'm being realistic that's most likely the next five years and to me i can't keep being this like weird person who's waiting for the next thing that's going to excite me i have to be rational and be like this is probably what it will be yeah and you take it or leave it yeah i don't like it i don't like a rat i don't think you can be rational in hollywood i think you have to be irrational like look at Jennifer Coolidge well you have to be irrational if you but to like allow you to hang on still I think what you're kind of getting at is like she's like thinking

too straight yeah but that's also okay like it's okay if you're done with acting like we have that's why we built Lady Gang that's why you're building other things in your life and it's like especially after being a mom it's like is it worth leaving for three weeks like is that sacrifice worth of it yeah that was a huge part of it because I was like yeah three weeks is like before before a baby Three weeks is like summer camp. I'm like, yeah, I'm not doing something that feels like Shakespeare, but I'm like having fun and making money. I'm here in a fun city.

And you have no responsibilities. No responsibility. But now that's it too. It's like that is something that weighed so heavily into the experience in that I'm like for me to leave my kid like this and to have my schedule like this, it has to be really worth it. And the reality of something feeling really, really worth it coming along and ending up being mine.

it does not feel like like that feels like pigs flying and so to me I'm like I'm good like I'm good yeah and I felt like really I felt really secure in that choice I wasn't sad I was like wow I feel actually it's liberating like I felt really happy to like not feel like the desperate person anymore well I think that there is something to where it's like if you always think the next best thing is around the corner and you always think it's around the corner, always around the corner. It's like you get to a point where it's like your whole life you're spending waiting for the thing around the corner. You're not living your life. Yeah. So it's like, I don't know. And to be with something in there, I'm doing like a lot of

weird therapy where it's being in control of your, your, you really only have control of how you're feeling your insides, your whatever. And the industry is absolutely completely 100% out of my control. So like just the other day I watched a new show that's like a hit on Netflix and it was a part that I auditioned for one of the parts in it, like a secondary part. And, um, and I like watched the girl's performance. She's great. She's, she's great. And then I was like, you know, what I'm going to do, I'm going to go back and I'm going to watch my audition tape for this thing. Yeah. Ooh, with fresh eyes and like really as unbiased as I could possibly be. And I was like, this is, this is proof that I could have done that job. I just didn't. And that's why I'm not

going to sit around and wait to do that. Like there's nothing in my control. Yeah. It has nothing to do with your performance or you. It's like so political and it's so fucked up. And like, yeah, I mean, I don't blame you. I don't know how either of you guys do it. And quite frankly, I'm sick of looking at my face on camera. Yeah. That's another thing. Like I'm sick of caring so much, especially at this age, I'm suddenly like so aware of every thing. I'm like, I just want to feel good in life. When people are looking at me in my face in life, I don't want to care what it looks like on a camera. Ooh, I like literally that makes so much sense. Thank you for my therapy session. Sorry. You're so hard for me.

I'm like, yeah, I just, I can't even imagine like even doing lady gang TV and having like all of the outside control and like caring too much about all of these things that don't matter in real life. Like that broke me to a point that I'm like, I don't know how somebody could do that for the majority of their life. Like it's, it's soul crushing. The thing that kept me in it for so long, which we didn't have with Lady Gang TV was like, you're in the state of flow. Like not, I don't think the three of us ever felt the way we feel on this podcast when we're talking and having fun and really like getting into things. I don't think we ever felt like that behind a camera for the show and so that was really like a very hard experience the thing that has kept

like it's hooking me with acting is because there is a moment where you're like oh this is the thing i really do love yeah yeah there's like the pure love for it yeah and so now that that has died i can i can i can take the hook out of my cheek and be like thank you so much for everything you've given me it's been wonderful i'm gonna age gracefully now i'm not gonna give a shit what how much i weigh i'm gonna literally be with my kid and i'm gonna be so grateful for like the chapter of my life just like broadway was this something that it was like i'm happy and like i don't feel any any part of me does not feel sad at all i can't believe i'm saying this but this episode of lady gang is brought to you by the fits everybody collection by skims skims is creating

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pocket sooner, which we love. It only takes two minutes. It doesn't affect your credit score. Sign up for a Chime checking account today to link your paycheck. Get started at Chime.com slash lady that's chime.com slash lady chime is a financial technology company not a bank banking services and debit card are provided by the bank or bank na or stride bank na members fdic early access to direct deposit funds depends on payer spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply see charm.com spot me for more details the lady gang so what if somebody came to you and like was like i created this show and this role is for you you don't have to audition that would be me being tom sandoval thinking that that would ever happen i'm just

what if what if it would be the same way that i feel about broadway i am not actively going after broadway it's something i love in my bones like i it's shaped who i was as a person but there's not a single part of me that's ever been like gone back to knock down the doors but if there was something that was like hey we are desperate for someone to play roxy heart you were the last person on the list i'd be like let's do this yeah that's like the thing now that i feel with acting i'm not gonna be a psycho and you know like i'm just gonna be like i'm not gonna say i'm not gonna stop auditioning i'm gonna be more discerning i've already put it out there that i will never ever ever ever do a job that shoots out of the united states for longer than three

weeks not a chance yeah um and so yeah that's like that's like i've never had those boundaries before yeah i think it's healthy healthy culty is spiraling i'm not spiraling i'm taking i'm really she's taking it in i'm taking it is this what you had planned for this episode you're so excited for no no i i i just like i have a couple things i have thoughts okay number one you are incredibly talented and so it breaks my heart when you're like I just you know because I know how much effort it takes to continue to be successful so when you pull yourself out of that effort it makes me sad that the world is not going to get to see and maybe they will you know what I mean but like you are so naturally talented and it's annoying but like in a good

way you know what i mean um so it makes me sad because i don't feel like earth has seen the full potential of like what you could do now the other thing is i don't actually think any of this is going to happen i think becca's like bye i'm breaking up with you and then like the thing is going to come or whatever but leads me to my next thought yeah but that's like the rubber band theory it's like if that happened is that what you're gonna say no oh but it's like uh it was in that book um men are from mars women are from venus it's like the rubber band theory when when you stop trying to like pull it pull it so hard then it like naturally comes to you or it doesn't and but the thing that matters is like your attitude towards it and like how heartbroken

or not heartbroken and accepting you'll be of whatever it is yeah yeah because then it doesn't matter and then my next thought which takes you to deep thoughts is so like in my group of friends like you know right now because i'm in this like super fan finally got an air date and no one has seen me cry for the last three years over this everyone's like everywhere i go people like oh my god girl you are crushing it you're crushing it and i'm like yeah oh my god i'm crushing it but what's interesting about that feeling is that i don't know how i'm gonna explain this right i have a girlfriend who's been like trying to do hollywood for a long long long time and she's like close but never quite gets there and she always speaks in this way the opposite

of what becca's saying where she's like i will feel happy feel like i've made it like i still believe my chances out there and like i'm gonna keep working for it because like i know that my happiness is there but i know that that and it's been the hardest realization of my life that like the happiness is not there yeah like i want it to be so bad i want like to feel different now that superfan's gonna air and i want to feel different now that whatever blah blah thing is happening but like we put out books we you know like it's amazing and it definitely like made me so happy at the time but like none of it has fulfilled a life no and so it's like i just want the people that i see like in our facebook group that are like i just have this regular life and

like should i want more or will i be happier when i get the thing and the truth is like and i think what you're saying becca is is very grounding because it's like yes you're going to keep getting things in your life whatever that is your job your relationships whatever but like the only thing that actually matters that you can control is how you're feeling in that moment each day every day of like that you're actually alive yeah and like getting those things like i kind of try to explain to my friend like I'm like if Macy's called tomorrow and hired you for a thing you would not feel different you would still you would be happy in that moment well it'd be like a dose of serotonin yeah and like dopamine for a second but like it doesn't change your life or like the

the scope of like what your life is it's like it's exactly the same yeah it's just sure there's privilege and there it's a little easier because if you're working you have money like all of those things come together but like you still wake up every day and you're like I have to go to my job it's taking me away from the thing I really want to do which is like reading a book seeing my kids sleeping going for a walk being on vacation whatever that is I have to pay my taxes I have to like do you know what I mean there is like this great equalizer in life and it sucks I'm sad because there's a little bit of me that has like a little bit of Becca coming in and I'm sad because i'm like i'm sad for you yeah because i don't you're like wait but i need the next thing to

make me happy because i i just know like it's it's like i could keep creating and i keep doing things and like it'll be great and i'll probably have some success and i'm gonna hustle it but like i'm tired and like i don't i don't know like i don't know if i i know now the answer at the end of that rainbow is not a like a happiness pot of gold it's just the same no it's groceries coming from amazon that's any it's anything external too it's like you can apply it to if i lost 10 pounds i'd be happy if i got this nose job i'd be happy like if i did this and this and that like it's never externally the things that are going to change anything about you again it'll like give you like a dose of whatever yeah but then it might make you

feel like you're lacking and you want the next thing and it's always chasing again whatever is around the corner and it's just like once you actually stop and take like notice of what's in your life especially with a kid it's like that's what's important I know my most like I could buy any bag like whatever we finish the house and I'm like what I wish I could go and like put in my checkout cart is like more time like I'm like I need I'm trying to figure out my summer how am I going to France for Jack's wedding how am I going to do this how many do this I only have this many days off at work these are all the things that i want to do like what i wish was just more time yeah like that's totally so one thing you can't get more of it's wild we're so old and deep well

that's we're so deep we're so evolved you guys so evolved no it's true it's also those things where you're like are the highs high enough to justify the lows yeah and that is something i'm really grateful to have found out now because i look at jen coolidge and i respect the hell out of her i think she's amazing if i were to go into her little heart and her soul and her brain and say i don't know i don't know what she was doing i mean she did three broke girls or two broke girls she's done a zillion she's working and working and working and working but yes there's this moment right now in her career that i'm sure she's always dreamed of having yeah being accepted into the room being rewarded yeah covers the magazines like she like i i would think someone

like her built enough of like a life around her and i think she did because she kind of left hollywood she moved to new orleans but like it would be such a shame if like she had spent those years between like the big christopher guest movies and now having those but what what's around the corner what's around the corner and the chasing because it's like i feel sad for the time that i spent doing that already and it has not been that long it's been probably five years of that which sounds like a long time but in the grand scheme of things it's not but during those five years is when we created lady gang too like imagine if you didn't have anything else and it was just acting and that is what was trying you're trying to get your hits through yeah it's that's

what's tough that's why that i think that's the secret sauce is to have a lot of things yeah because like when one of them like i would have spiraled so darkly during trying to get super fan on the air if we didn't have like our book and our tour like you know it's like it's good to have like a lot of things whether it's all other work things are like family or friends or anyway becca rest in peace rest in peace becca tobin i'm gonna have to figure out a way to get health insurance now it's not through the screen actors guild it's a it's nice like 650 a month yeah love health insurance there's also that whole thing anyway i'm not going into it but the whole shannon doherty thing it's like so sad because sag after it's like kind of a weird thing

i don't even talking about the union it's like just a up way you have to make a certain amount of money every year to qualify you could have made 10 million dollars by being on a hit show yeah and then after that just because it was in the one year and you didn't make any money in the other years and not have health insurance from a union that you worked your ass off yeah so shannon doherty's really sick right now and she's on like so many hit shows charmed whatever but she hasn't qualified for health insurance for last few years because she can't work that's so insane and she's like hey I paid like zillions of dollars in dues over my 40 plus year career and they're like we can't help you I'm like it's up anyway on that note let us say this Becca you're incredibly

talented and I am glad that you will not be in the running to play Roxy Hart oh I just said if they asked if they're gonna ask but she's not gonna be at the audition more space for me okay bye thanks for listening The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber Steve Delameter

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